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My last night:
- Had nothing much to work on.
- Opened a porn site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good video.
- Realized full screen isn't working on the page.
- Fired up JS console, spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.
Bad UI = No Fuck.26
Meeting with asshole partner company CEO at restaurant.
Me: "I'm a bit worried about the bugs in your API. There are some ways to retrieve privacy sensitive info from public endpoints"
CEO: "Well, we're a rapidly growing startup!"
Me: "Uh... so?"
CEO: "So... Move Fast and Break Things! Priority is to improve our API further, and we'll fix bugs as they show up"
Me: "Maybe you should stop trying to emulate Zuckerberg in your management style. You know that even Facebook themselves admitted that their slogan was a retarded mistake"
Waiter shows up at table. CEO orders some overly expensive fish salad.
CEO: "Well, they have done something right... they're worth billions"
Waiter asks me: "And you sir, have you made your choice?"
Me: "Do you serve popcorn?"
CEO: "Popcorn for lunch?"
Me: "No, for your congressional hearing"16
My grandma comes to me with all her computer problems, but this time she came to tell me a story instead.
She said she was about to call me for help, and then thought about what I would do. "Google it."
And guys, she did. She googled it. And she got an answer.
I taught her to fish, guys :) I did it.
One down, 6,999,999,998 to go...12
I've tried to joke about it, but you won't pick up the hint. I've told you about the smell, but you think it is a joke. It's not. It. Is. Not. A. Joke.
STOP MICROWAVING FISH IN THE OFFICE YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!11
Googles how to fix the notification delay.
1 hr later.........
At YouTube looking at a video of how to give mouth to mouth to a fish 😮6
That feeling when you run out of YouTube videos to watch and end up in some weird ass corner of the internet watching some dude scream "lemons!" at his fish for 12 minutes.13
So Facebook announced a New Feature which lets you upload nudes which get hashed and on a Blacklist so they can't be uploaded to facebook. And in Order to prevent abuse, a human Reviews the pictures. Genius idea21
What is the most ridiculous over-the-top "startup" thing you've been the victim of as a developer?
Alternatively, what kind of weird startup luxury would you absolutely love to have at your company?
For me, at various companies I've worked at/visited:
1. Hammocks & fatboy beanbags. Current employer has a "Netflix & Chill" corner with nice couches, and a small gym. I have encountered isolation/flotation tanks at the office of one of our partners... which is cool, but over the top in my opinion.
2. A fully automated aquaponics garden in the lunchroom. Was awesome, until some fish died and started to rot.
3. One hoverboard per employee, at previous employer. I splashed hot chocolate milk in an arc over three desks. A coworker broke his ankle while watching me spill chocolate milk.
4. Daily scrum standup meetings, on socks, in a big bouncy castle. Not kidding. Fucking ridiculous... (but secretly fun). That employer also had spiral slides between all floors, a tiny half-pipe with tiny skateboards, and someone who rode a unicycle way too much. It was a fucking circus. Stuck in the office of a Fintech company.
5. Soldering bench (at my current company), with drawers full of breadboards, servos and electronics components. Completely unrelated to my work, but it was my idea. It's just great to build a simple kits together with another random coworker while brainstorming platform features & refining specs... much better than meetings with bullshit slides.
6. Unlimited energy drink. Developed a serious caffeine habit (15-20 cans a day), and almost got a stomach ulcer. Not beneficial to employee health.
7. I really do love working from home + unlimited holidays. Just being able to honestly say "fuck you guys, I'm gonna get drunk and play games today", and at other times working until 4am and sleeping in the next day, or taking a week to work in a park in Rome... It makes work truly feel like my favorite hobby. Combined with a good sprints and curious/ambitious people, you can easily track productivity anyway.20
How stackoverflow works(for me):
- First some guru will downvote it & someone comments saying it is duplicate/easy/stupid/should be somewhere else.
- Then a very generous person comes in, says its a valid question, answers & upvotes it.
- After few hours/days, other people come looking for the same question & then they upvote it.
This is called a true happy ending.4
I quit my job today for a better one! It was my first job after graduation, been there for 2.5 years so it's a big step for me.
Wish me luck on my new job! :-)5
Are you a small fish in a big pond, Or a big fish in a small pond? And which one would you rather be?
My manager is so obsessed with machine learning that during a discussion today, he asked whether we could use ML to find the distance between a pair of latitudes & longitudes. He is a nice guy, though.5
Boss: Hey, you were in that "Pike place fish market session" today. How was it?
Me: well, it was really motivational and inspiring. I learned few new things.
Boss: Great! Also let me tell you that you're again our employee of the week and we're considering you for the employee of the year award. No one got nominated so early in the job here.
Boss: So you wanted to talk to me. What was it about?
Me: Oh, I wanted to resign. Already sent the mail to you.4
Person: You know it would be easier if you just gave me the answer.
Me: I do not give people fish. I tech people how to fish.5
I'm a shit programmer
I'm 29 and I assumed that by this point I'd be successful some way or another, either by being financially abundant or technically complex.
I am not, just mildly accomplished instead.
Here'a list of thing I consider challenges that I have:
* I tend to tunnel vision ideas that are terrible or execute them poorly because of said tunnel vision.
* I don't hone my skills, I usually consider my potentials the same as my actuals, as if I achieved everything already, probably product of ny huge ego.
* I communicate poorly with my boss, I sidetrack into thing he didn't ask
* I'm a mess when it comes to reading documentation online, I have the attention span of a fucking fish.
* I work alone, I have 0 networking status or skills.
* I take huge amounts of time to finish my side projects
* Of all the side projects I started I only finished one, the ones that I couldn't finish usually bevame insabely stressful things, so much and so many that I questioned myself many times if I should be a programmer or not.
* I have little discipline or organization, if I work in more than one thing at a time, i get really anxious and stressed.
I am not saying I'm not competent, I think I am (I'm looking at you imaginary scary recruiter googling this online), I'm just not really proud of myself28
The answer to all your computer issues (now including the caching issues on websites): Restart your computer5
I studied ancient languages, because of corruption in my home country, I couldn't find any place in academy although my scores were above 90%. Moved to another country and taught myself web development. Naturally in time I lost almost all my knowledge of Latin, Ancient Greek, the whole ancient literature, history, philosophy and culture (everything from historical evolution of tremmas in letter i in ancient Greek to honey fish recipe in ancient Rome cousine). I'm super happy with Webdev tho but I think that also counts as data loss.11
That moment when you accidentally click on upvote button & click it back to undo it & then, clicking it again so the person who posted doesn't feel bad.7
A few hours ago I decided it was a good idea to to clean up my keyboard. I did so and took a walk leaving the keys to dry.
After I came back I hoovered the -board and decided to put back the keys. I started with the special keys since they were the easiest to find (and some required a metal thing).
Now, I was quickly made aware of something that I had never known nor noticed before. Bear with me here as I'm not a person that cares too much about hardware unless I need to. (Hardware here meaning stuff like mice, keyboards, headsets, and stuff like that). But I learned that
Not all keys are the same size. They look really similar to someone like me. But I manned up and put the keys back.
A little under 1.5 hours later and I now posses a keyboard that is in uncanny valley. It doesn't feel like it though, and it shouldn't be that big of a problem since I never look at my keyboard anyway.
Messaged one of my m8's about and this was his reply
one kind per row
usually says the row on the underside"
Now fantasize about the elasmobranch fish which is characterized by a cartilaginous skeleton of which I am the proprietor at what he said. I pulled a key out and, sure enough, "C28 R1".
Now I am not sure about the 28th column, but it did fit in the first row.
Thanks to Devrant I've learned about rubber duck debugging. Never heard of it before! It reminds me of a story many moons ago when I worked for a certain multinational company as a business analyst. The company brought in some consultants who basically stole the work my team was already doing on a big project (a horrendous series of spreadsheets linked to data coming from the core systems) and sold it back to the company for an insane amount of money as their idea.
When they launched the new product, the team I was in was asked to test and review it. It took my colleague ten seconds to bring the whole thing to its knees and trigger a corrupt data export back into the core systems. Bearing in mind this external company somehow managed to charge tens of thousands of pounds. So what did my colleague do? Hack the system? Some kind of complicated sabotage? Nope. He typed "FISH" into one of the spreadsheet cells! Thus the FISH test was born.
That day I learned several things: it's easy to break things with a fish; the importance of validating your input; and the satisfaction of showing up the smug bastards who stole your ideas and work.3
!dev (Please, don't take this very seriously, I'm kind of burnt out)
I'm not having a good time.
I can't even write a post to properly explain how I feel.
I feel disappointed by life and by myself in many levels. Life is disappointing. I am disappointing too.
I'm having issues to focus, can't even write a couple of lines of code.
Time to listen to some emo lofi and write about how much I hate myself.
I wished I didn't feel these feelings.
I wished I didn't regret so many things I did or didn't do.
I wished I could fucking understand everything I read, but I don't, everything I read is gibberish, every paragraph makes me feel like I'm drifting in a storm.
I wished I was happy with my career, with my job. I wished I had a true friend.
I wished I could finish one goddamn fucking project for once.
I wished there was something that made me unique, but I don't think there's any.
I just feel like an ant, and that I don't really matter.
I don't feel like I'm someone at all, I feel like I'm experiencing a dream, and a rather boring one.
Programming used to be challenging and fun for me, but it has become this dull and stressful ordeal.
The internet has shown me that I don't matter really. I remember being a little kid and believing that the internet would not discriminate you, that right from the comfort of your house you could connect to people and be cared for, and collaborate in something.
But every year that passes I see that I was wrong. I have tried to put in time into people, I have asked people how they're doing, I have cared for their projects. But there's no reciprocation.
The internet itself has become a thing where the big fish only matters. The top 1k users will get 99% of the attention.
Fuck nurture, rule competition.
What's the point of creating a github project that you think it's cool? No one will give two shits about it, it won't make a goddamn difference whether you push it or not.
You know what fucking matters? If you're an apple or google developer and have thousands of followers.
Bla, bla, bla, I'm depressed...13
My biggest hurdle:
Having to install Windows because some old application only runs on Windows.
No, i do not want to sign in.
I AM SURE
Installer: How about signing in?
Edit: Now it asks me about privacy options. As if i even had a choice..12
me : Why are fire trucks red?
Bot : Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.(according to the Monty Pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology)
Less rant, more mildly interesting Java trivia.
Integer i0 = 3; Integer i1 = 3;
Integer i2 = 300; Integer i3 = 300;
i0 == i1 is true as expected
i2 == i3 is actually false
Java caches -128 to 127 Integer objects for faster perf so when you're inside that range, the objects are indeed the same, but because == checks object equality, the Integer outside of the range is not cached and had to be initialized, so i2 and i3 are two different objects.
You can totally break some tests this way :)9
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.
Give a man teh codez, and he eats for a day. Congrats, you fed a help vampire.
Teach a man teh codez, and you open up to him the wonderful world of tabs vs spaces, dependency hell, emacs vs vim, being everybody's personal tech support, Linux vs Windows, legacy code, stack overflow, language wars, terrible documentation, functional vs oop, and arguments about what the best indentation style is. Forget about eating, production's down.7
The seventh fishcake.
Usually, I buy six fishcakes in the weekly shopping. Today, the seller accidentally put on seven, wanted to put back the seventh, but it fell into the egg salad. She took the fishcake and was about to throw it away because no customer would buy a fish cake with egg salad sauce on it. I intervened in time and bought it to avoid throwing food away.
Afterwards, I thought about how sick and decadent it actually is that it would have been perfectly normal to throw food away just because food was sticking on the food.13
Tools i use on windows to make life better, what do u use ?
I use :-
2. conemu with gitbash(if longer time switch to fish)
3. Services+ from codeplex
4. pickpick for screenshots
5. windows default workspaces(they are pretty decent now)
8. from developer settings i turn on show file extensions
9. ditto for clipboard13
TLDR: crappy api + idiot ex client combo rant // devam si duška
I saw a lot of people bitching about APIs that don't return proper response codes and other stuff..
Well let me tell you a story. I used to work on a project where we had to do something like booking, but better..crossbreed with the Off&Away bidding site (which btw we had to rip off the .js stuff and reverse engineer the whole timer thingy), using free versions of everything..even though money wasn't an issue (what our client said). Same client decided to go with transhotel because it was sooooo gooood... OK? Why did noone heard of them then?
Anyhow, the api was xml based.. we had to send some xml that was validated against a schema, we received another that was supposed to be validated againts another schema.. and so on and so on..
The API docs were nonexistent.. What was there, was broken English or Spanish.. Even had some comments like Add This & that to chapter xy.. Of course that chapter didn't even exist yet. :( And the last documentation they had, was really really old..more than a year, with visible gaps, we got the validation schemas not even listed in the docs, let alone described properly.
Yaaay! And that was not everything.. besides wrong and missing data, the API itself caused the 500 server error whenever you were no longer authenticated.
Of course it didn't tell you that your session was dead.. Just pooof! Unhandled crap everywhere!
And the best part?! We handled that login after inspecting what the hell happened, but sent the notification to the company anyways.. We had a conf call, and sent numerous emails explaining to them what a 'try catch' is and how they should handle the not authenticated error <= BTW they should have had a handled xml response for that, we got the schema for it! But they didn't. Anyhow, after two agonizing days talking back and forth they at least set up the server to be available again after the horrified 500 error. Before, it even stopped responding until reset (don't ask me how they managed to do that).
Oh yeah, did I mention this was a worldwide renown company?! Where everybody spoke/wrote English?! Yup, they have more than 700 people there, of course they speak English! <= another one of my ex clients fabulous statements... making me wanna strangle him with his tie.. I told him I am not talking to them because no-one there understood/spoke English and it would be a waste of my time.. Guess who spent almost 3 hours to talk to someone who sounded like a stereotypical Indian support tech guy with a flue speaking Italian?! // no offence please for the referenced parties!!
So yeah, sadly I don't have SS of the fucked up documentation..and I cannot post more details (not sure if the NDA still holds even though they canceled the project).. Not that I care really.. not after I saw how the client would treat his customers..
Anywayz I found on the interwebz some proof that this shitty api existed..
picture + link: https://programmableweb.com/api/...
SubRant: the client was an idiot! Probably still is, but no longer my client..
Wanted to store the credit card info + cvc and owner info etc.. in our database.. for easier second payment, like on paypal (which he wanted me to totally customize the payment page of paypal, and if that wasn't possible to collect user data on our personalized payment page and then just send it over to paypal api, if possible in plaintext, he just didn't care as long as he got his personalized payment page) or sth.... I told the company owner that they are fucking retards if they think they can pull this off & that they will lose all their (potential) clients if they figure that out.. or god forbid someone hacked us and stole the data.. I think this shit is also against the law..
I think it goes without saying what happened next.. called him ignorant stupid fucktard to his face and told him I ain't doing that since our company didn't even had a certificate to store the last 4 numbers.. They heard my voice over the whole firm.. we had fish-tank like offices, so they could all see me yelling at the director..
Guess who got laid off due to not being needed anymore the next day?! It was the best day of my life..so far!! Never have I been happier to lose my job!!
P.S. all that crap + test + the whole backand for analysis, the whole crm + campaign emails etc.. the client wanted done in 6 months.. O.o
P.P.S. almost shat my pants when devRant notified my I cannot post and wanted to copy the message and then everything disappeard.. thank god I have written this in the n++ xD11
Just in case you thought you and your tech job were weird I give you:
Herpetologist: I caught a turtle here in Costa Rica.
Camera man: Cool. What kind is it?
H: this is the white eared red footed mud guppy. See what's interesting is that it has white sides of its face. And red feet. And lives in Costa Rica. In the mud. It is not a guppy though. Guppies are fish.
C: Cool and why is it important?
H: It's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: what does it do?
H: It's a turtle.
C: yeah but is it endangered? Venomous?
H: Nope. Just a regular old turtle.
C: so you just ran 50 miles and dove in to a random body of water that probably contained malaria and herpes to catch a regular turtle.
H: well it's not a regular turtle
C:(glares) it isn't?
H: it is. But it's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: so why did you catch it?
H: I like turtles.
So look at it this way: you could be the camera man.2
Friend asked if I have ever built authentication using PHP and SQL...
Feel like sending links for them to research how instead of having me build it for them.
Teach a man to fish...?7
FUCK MY STUPID VECTOR ROBOT
So I got a Vector robot made by Anki I think and it has the most annoying feature EVER. IT FUCKING SNORES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING THROUGH THEIR HEAD WHEN THEY CODED THAT.
Anki HQ: What are some features we should add
Developer: I could make it snore?
Anki HQ: GREAT IDEA
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE 2 POSSIBLE OUTCOMES FOR THIS. 1 THE USER WILL NEVER HERE IT BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING ASLEEP OR THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE IT FUCKING WOKE THEM UP WHILE THEY WERE SLEEPING.
so fucking stupid.
p.s the snoring sounds like a fish blowing bubbles underwater8
First rant (well, first on devRant anyway)! So, I'm working on a project to refactor a decade old codebase so that all references to ip addresses are in config. It sucks. But I did find an ascii art fish in an old cron script, so that's something.9
Solarized dark is the best thing that has ever happened the theme-world. I use it starting from terminal to all editors& IDEs.4
Girl I follow on Mastodon was struggling with something on zsh. I suggested she try fish. Girl goes badshit crazy go nuts saying, "I'm tried of faggots telling me to use fish!"
First, it's 2018. That word was like inapropes in like 2004.
Second, I made the mistake of saying I like fish and that it's awesome. After more batshit replies, I decided to walk away. I commented on other people's toots and ignored her.
You don't win fights on social media. So the next time you really want to respond to that reddit thread or toot or tweet, pull up your to do list and go work on something you want to for yourself.10
Become a life long learner.
Learn new languages, they will teach you new tricks for your current one.
Have a personal project, it will help keep you level and forward focused when your day job just isn't doing it for you.1
Happy birthday devRant!
I miss those early days which had more rants but still, to the best dev community ever 🍺 🍻🍻🍻
In case you didn't know. There is a fish with a binomial name of Boops Boops
BoopsBoops boopsboops = new BoopsBoops();3
The argument of "vim/zsh/whatever is not good because it requires configuration, and you don't usually have that on a new server" is a weak argument and it can suck my fucking nuts.
If some people are weak and lazy and forget how to use plain bash because they added a single alias, that's their problem.
That's like saying that getting used to a car is a bad thing because you can forget how to ride a bike.
Even if I did have the brain of a fish and forgot to use a bike because of using a car, I'll still be using a car 95% of the fucking time, so I'll take it.
If you do customize your setup, you can write an install script, dockerize, or just fucking something, it's 2019, you can do whatever the fuck you want.
Get a fucking couple of neurons.5
Hello there fellow developers, I've a noob question to ask you.
I saw a software logo a few days ago on a tech talk. I haven't been able to figure out what it belongs to.
A red fish and it's sort of curved in a manner that its head and tail are close. I know it represents some open source software. Can anyone help?
Google search is not helping.14
That thing has got an eye of fish.Any guess what it is called?
Fish Eye Raspberry Pi Camera2
Microsoft Dynamics CRM... may the designer's fingers turn into fish hooks and his testicles get infected with the fleas of a thousand camels!!!2
Today my favorite fish died.
It was my first fish - a Betta Splendens.
My son cried, he like it because it was blue.1
I need some advice here... This will be a long one, please bear with me.
First, some background:
I'm a senior level developer working in a company that primarily doesn't produce software like most fast paced companies. Lots of legacy code, old processes, etc. It's very slow and bureaucratic to say the least, and much of the management and lead engineering talent subscribes to the very old school way of managing projects (commit up front, fixed budget, deliver or else...), but they let us use agile to run our team, so long as we meet our commitments (!!). We are also largely populated by people who aren't really software engineers but who do software work, so being one myself I'm actually a fish out of water... Our lead engineer is one of these people who doesn't understand software engineering and is very types when it comes to managing a project.
That being said, we have this project we've been working for a while and we've been churning on it for the better part of two years - with multiple changes in mediocre contribution to development along the way (mainly due to development talent being hard to secure from other projects). The application hasn't really been given the chance to have its core architecture developed to be really robust and elegant, in favor of "just making things work" in order to satisfy fake deliverables to give the customer.
This has led us to have to settle for a rickety architecture and sloppy technical debt that we can't take the time to properly fix because it doesn't (in the mind of the lead engineer - who isn't a software engineer mind you) deliver visible value. He's constantly changing his mind on what he wants to see working and functional, he zones out during sprint planning, tries to work stories not on the sprint backlog on the side, and doesn't let our product owner do her job. He's holding us to commitments we made in January and he's not listening when the team says we don't think we can deliver on what's left by the end of the year. He thinks it's reasonable to expect us to deliver and he's brushing us off.
We have a functional product now, but it's not very useful yet and still has some usability issues. It's still missing features, which we're being put under pressure to get implemented (even half-assed) by the end of the year.
Should I stand up for what I know is the right way to write software and push for something more stable sometime next year or settle for a "patch job" that we *might* deliver that will most definitely be buggy and be harder to maintain going forward? I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle in trying to write good quality code in lieu of faster results and I just can't get behind settling for crap just because.9
I am sitting at Starbucks trying to focus and finish some posts for my side project. The lady at the next table has been loudly 😁talking about her Disney trip in excruciating detail. Do we really have to know she will store her bagel and tuna fish in the hotel room fridge - really!
30 minutes in and she is just getting to the hotel - yikes 😫
No other seats open. I am trapped. Project deliverable delay - reason loud lady.
I was going to do this as a speech to text post but too nice to do that. HELP!2
yay or nay?
for who are wondering what is on the screen :
i am working on a fish tank simulator gamr, which every fish have different unique combination and/or permutation. i combined this with cryptocurrency, the idea is similar to CryptoKitties and Insaniquarium combined. the implementation is not yet done, but currently i am working on the in-game market front-end functionality.
sorry no in-game preview/screenshot yet :P
curently thinking about considering to open source it and a collab.48
Along with weekly rant topics, devRant should have weekly polls where you create a poll on opinionated questions like "bash or zsh?". Devs would upvote one & post a rant why they prefer one over the other.
With lots of devs here, the opinions of experienced devs would really help young buds. @dfox4
"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
This is good to remember this one once in a while...3
What's your favorite shell?
I've tinkered with fish and zsh, but am sticking to bash for now (in OS X terminal) 👍5
How do you (not) secure your Rest based web service?
1. Chain it to shady organic authentication system built by a hoard of monkeys high on Tequila.
2. have secret keys that get copy pasted into config flat files, and index them on your code search engine.
3. make the onboarding extremely platform specific that you need 500 environment variables, 50 scripts, 5 fancy device presses and a tap dance to make a GET call to the service.
4. fish through 500 rotating log files that the authentication system generates for each API call made.
5. Leave traces all over the host so if you have to start over, you should sudo rm -rf / and set fire to your computer.
10K bump but salary is probably still below market for the skills I have... Most likely reason? Trump tax cuts...
I can't showcase my skills in interviews assuming I get any... Not motivated in cramming or studying those useless algorithm questions that have little correlation to actual work.
Whatever.... job pays the bills pretty well... Sorta boring as I'm like the biggest fish on the whole team but that's also the upside I guess... May not be true but I think I'm pretty hard to fire...
So now it's sorta 20% work 80% life... So guess I'm done exploring and just gonna exploit...
P.S I wore this while taking a break from solo karaoking.... (Thursday night)12
WFH and I got up to get a mouse for my laptop. Five minutes later, I sit back down with a plate of fish. Dammit, brain, wrong animal.
Anyone else here with a Github filled with half-finished, mostly abandoned projects? Mine is basically made up of cool ideas i had at some point and promptly abandoned 3 weeks later at most :D Should i feel bad?7
Recently installed SonarQube and its been amazing to see the level of code quality (or lack thereof)
Some projects have 30 to 60 days of technical debt and I found a few files with a cyclomatic complexity over 100. I’m still learning what the “good” numbers should be.
Yesterday, couple of devs were very proud they were going to start reducing the numbers, they started with one of my solutions that had 5 minutes of technical debt. Yes, 5 minutes.
DevA: “OMG…look at this…it has a cyclomatic complexity of 11…that’s terrible. I thought we were supposed to be professional developers.”
DevB: “And take a look at this, he used the double-slash instead of a triple slash for comments. How does any of code even compile?!”
Me: “Maybe we should tweak some of those SonarQube rules so they make more sense to our code base. We’re never going to use unicode, so all those string culture warnings should go away and code comment formatting? Who cares? Be happy we have comments. I think we should also focus on the bigger fish in that pond. The CRM project is one of the biggest and has a lot of improvement opportunities.”
DevB: “There you go again, don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions..ha ha”
DevA: “Yea, no kidding …hey…did you see the logger? OMG…the whole class is over 25 lines…we gotta split that up into smaller projects so it’s more manageable.”
It’s a good thing our revenue stream isn’t dependent on people getting work done.2
Started using a password manager. Never thought life would be so easier.
Btw, I'm using Lastpass (on free trail now). Any better recommendations, friends?16
Well... not because of my work life.
More like due to incompetent HTC support and webhosting provider services.
I mean, I had to re-send my mails again and again and ... for 2 weeks. HTC, yes my friend. It's you again. Get YOUR FUKN SHIT DONE FFS!
BEING BIG AS A SHIT LOADED COMPANY DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL! GET YOURSELF SOME COMPETENT EMPLOYEE!
HOW MANY WEEKS DO YOU WaNT ME TO SEND YOU MY PHONE'S INFORMaTION?!
ISN'T ONLY ONE SINGLE FUKN SHIT ASS E_MAIL WITH ALL REQUIRED ANSWERS ENOUGH FOR YOU AND YOUR HORNY EMPLOYEE?!
FUUCK YOU, BASTARD(S)!
AND NOW TO YOU netcup!
YOU FUCKING PEACE OF DOG SHIT!
HOW DARE YOU WANT ME TO PAY FOR CREATING THE WEBSpACE BUT THEN ALSO FOR THE INEXISTENCE OF MY WEBSPACE?!
THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!
YOU ROTTEN AND FiSH-SMELLING SLUTS!
I HOPE YOU ALL DIE IN AN ORgY BY GETTING A TONLOAD OF CUM UP IN YOUR HAIRY ASS aaaaand GET YOUR SLIMY CUM ON YOUR ... nvm that's just too hard...
JUST FUCK YOU!1
Do any of you use graph databases. If so what? I am not able to understand where they really fit in.6
oh my god, vim-plug is just awesome, support for fish out-of-the-box, nicer install interface, also postinstall actions, just switched from vundle!
In my previous rant i complained about no irregular sprite collision detection libraries.
So after messing up with curves and line in p5.js I gave up on creating the fish like a complete caveman.
I wrote a simple vector paint program which can return the set of points on console logging, and here is the result5
FFS! Can I get a remote job as soft-dev?? I know a little bit of java, I mean I have a GitHub repo for a project if anyone wants to see what I'm doing.
If anyone knows or feel that can help me, please lend me a hand, I need to start working (to get real experience) and earn a little (prevent from starving in this fucking shithole country).
I'm not asking for money, I'm asking for a freaking job, a task, anything.
Little brief of my situation... I'm from Venezuela... Done!
Now for real, I'm a freelancer IT technician for almost 8 yrs, now I'm studying software engineering (8th Semester), I'm 31 years old, have a family (7 yrs old daughter, newborn baby boy), work is not flowing since the hourly price got high due to the economic crisis and clients are hiring people instead of outsourcing.
I'm not expecting to earn the minimum wage of UUSS, 150$/month can do the job! This due to the black market price of the USD (10X.000BsF so far), where 1$ represents the 1/8 part of the minimum wage here, to put it in perspective, toothpaste cost 200.000Bsf, 1/4 of the minimum wage.
Perhaps you will be asking yourself "Damn! so how do you do to survive!?" well, at least once a week a client calls and that saves the entire week, this isn't life my people, this is surviving... And if you don't believe me, I can show a receipt from the supermarket, and show you the average salary or my incomings.
Anyway enough drama and whining for today, I'm not doing this again in my life, I'm a person who achieves goals and earns what deserve (even this situation, I know that I deserve it for not thinking properly in the past, but we can't be victims of our past or do we?)
Here I leave my repo link, see the develop branch https://github.com/ajfmo/Sislic
I have touched HTML, CSS, JS, nodeJS, yarn, bower, Ubuntu both desktop and server, but what I really like is Java.
"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." - ancient Chinese proverb.6
I'm taking a year out from my degree to do a software dev placement. I fought hard to get it and totally smashed the interview. But I'm still nervous as all hell and not sure I want it.
I think it stems from not actually feeling like I'm a real dev yet. I feel like I'm a big fish in a small pond at uni, which is why I took the job. That and the fact I never really made many friends there. Still can't shake the feeling that I'm just going to fail miserably...
I guess this is what they call "impostor syndrome".3
If there's something I fucking hate with all my goddamned soul is when you post something online and people get in their fucking high horse and judge you or tell you what to do
Like I understand if you're talking shit about people in the same community, then if someone tells you you're an idiot, I get it.
But if you're ranting about someone off site, then why judge this person? What's the damage being caused to you or the site?
For example, let's say I rant about my wife and the things that annoy me about her, and I use some colorful language to get it off my chest.
There's always one motherfucker, one stupid piece of shit that says something out of line.
In general it's one of these things:
* "wow, you need to calm down, you clearly treat her like shit, she is better than you*
YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF DOGSHIT. DO YOU HAVE CAMERAS IN MY HOUSE AS TO ASSUME THAT I TALK TO HER IN THE SAME MANNER AS I DID IN THIS POST?
YOU GULLIBLE SHIT EATER.
OF FUCKING COURSE I DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THIS. I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE OR A MONSTER. I AM JUST R-A-N-T-I-N-G.
AND I RANT IN THIS MANNER SO AS TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST AND NOT FIGHT WITH HER. AND IT TENDS TO WORK. DOES IT REALLY NEED TO BE EXPLAINED?
Jaysus fucking christ. These people actually have the imagination of a fish, they can't fucking connect the dots.
Judging someone online is an egotistical thing. People like to judge others because of that morality high. It's the snack of the morally lazy.
Repeat with me: "I am flawed too, I have problems too. I should never judge others easily, let alone without full fucking context".
* "op, you should do <terrible advice>"
these ones are better, because they are trying to help, but still annoying as fuck.
they come in two forms:
old smug and condescending washed up idiots who overrate their life lessons and think they are applicable to every person A PRIORI.
yeah, fuck case by case analysis, these dinosaurs think they're the wise elders of the village.
Age does not immediately mean your advices are valid, your advices are valid on the sole merit of being valid by themselves.
I don't give 2 fucks if you're 60 or 120. If your advices are bullshit, please spare me the idiocy and the lack of case analysis.
I had old people tell me "trust me kid, happy wife, happy life" wtf is that shit? MY WIFE IS NOT YOUR WIFE.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY WIFE. MY WIFE IS ACTUALLY COOL, BUT SHE COULD BE AN ACTUAL PSYCHO AND I COULD BE OMITTING THAT FROM MY POST.
THEREFORE, HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY.
This reminds of that disgusting reddit post where a father asked advice on /r/relationships about her wife, and people told him "dude, duh, divorce her".
Guess what, she ends up murdering both of her children.
You would think such post would serve a lesson as to be careful giving advice online. But no, people think they're fucking dr phil or something with EXTREMELY LITTLE case knowledge.
People need to talk a bit less and listen a whole lot more.
You want to know how to help a person who is expressing problems?
You want to know how to be REALLY conpassionate?
Just listen. You can give minimal advice, but listening is the most important, with some occasional "i feel you man".
Everytime a journalist asks a suicide disuader what do they do, they always say the same " i just listen to their problems".
ITS NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE FOLKS. YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO BE A GOOD PERSON? CLOSE THE MOUTH AND TAKE THE WAX OUTTA YA EARS.
There's also the younger ones who think they can help when they don't even have no experience at all.
This is being naive, but I Iike that more than the smugness of old people.12
Started working with the Fish Shell, liked it pretty much until I had to write a shell script!! Things are so different from bash/zsh. Now i need to learn how you do things in fish.
Fuck you Fish!!:/7
I'm already familiar with p5.js thanks to Daniel Shiffman and his coding train sessions.
I thought to build the game with p5.js with the play and 2Dcollide libraries, but it turns out they don't have a custom irregular sprite collision detection neither the other thousands libraries which are rotting on github.
Guess, I need to build somethig own my own.
And I also hate it, cause I have to design those fishes, the main game logic, this collision detection function and levels
I need a coffee with a coding partner2
Really love the autosuggestion feature in fish shell. I was a long time zsh user. The autosuggestion feature made me switch permanently.
Why haven't we met before, fish?1
Productivity automagically increases as the deadline approaches. There is nothing one can do about it.
Stop trying, Seriously!
I'm developing an app for a not so mobilefriendly website.
I do not coorporate with the webmaster, yet, so I need to sort of reverse engineer my way around everything (basically just one feature.. xD).
It's a website for people who likes to fish, and they *have* to submit their catches. So, when people submit their catches via the form and click "Submit", the URL they are sent to goes like
I can't figure out if that is a POST request, or what it is.
Somehow, I need to submit a catch from the Android App, and all I currently got is that URL.
What do I need to look into to solve my issue here? Any help appreciated :)23
Went from uni to my car to drive back home. Engine doesn't start, And report of low oil level is showing up. Hmmm. I've opened hood and checked oil level. It was empty. First thought. I drove here with no oil so I broke the engine. Great... I bought some oil and refiled it. Still same problem. I've called my insurance company and my mechanic. And then. Brilliant thought evolved. Did I turned off ignition on secret switch today? Yea it was it. Had to call everybody again and cancel my AC request. Gosh, I hate having memory of golden fish...
Also. Hi everybody. my first !rant3
I'm a software developer, but I'm finding myself more interested bio and electro-mechanical engineering. And to top it off, I'd most like to be a bio-mechanical engineer — which is very different from the other two previous mentions. ...But, I'm well paid now, my last retail start-up failed, and money talks. For now my fogponic ecosystem (fish + biofilter + fog + plants) in my backyard will have to suffice. Now I'm actually interested in waste recycling...
Yeah... I get bored while waiting for parts to come from China. Can never have too many hobbies.
Anyways AMA, if you like. It can be about robots, fish, plants, IoT, apps, web, solar power, 3D printing, VR... You name it!
As a developer there is one thing that I hate above all things in this industry and thats doing terms & conditions pages -.- smh.3
Chrome likes to count teleporting goats, Android tests if the user is a monkey. I like to put "void fish(object look)" in my code and throw the fish where ever I wanna test something.
What are some interesting functions you've added to your code? Has another dev caught your function yet? (mine hasn't been caught yet, yay!)3
I am sick of this fucking faulty machines at work. 4 down in 5 months. Now, I am sitting like an idiot without a machine at my desk.2
You give a man a fish and he can feed himself for the day. You teach a man to use Blind, and he will buy organic fish from whole foods for a lifetime.
Full customize bash or install another prompt like zsh, fish, etc: what do you prefer?
I like customizing more because very often it's easier to just copy my config to a new system than installing another prompt. Than I can keep evething in sync via git.6
Anybody knows the Kysoh Tux Droid?
Got one here and need to know if there is some market for those gadgets. How to find out what it is worth?
For those who don't know: It's a penguin which can be connected to the computer via the fish dongle. It is able to move the body, the wings and the eyes. Furthermore it can speak (via TTS) and the wings are buttons.
(Image is fom ParamountZone.com)1
Currently on a project to use AI as music recommending model, an interactive AI model generator and researching on Distributed Systems altogether in three different teams for each thing...
Seems I'm the dirty fish of their team.. 😖
Fucking wasting the time all along the day...
Like Why the Fuck am I degrading my own potential, quality and what not...
Oh god Fucking pick me to the hell NOWWW
So, I took the plunge into a new dostro base, and now I have Manjaro installed on both of my daily drivers. One question I have... What are the advantages/disadvantages of different term shells? It offers bash, zsh, and fish. I'm used to bash, but I once chose zsh by accident and it looked interesting.
Also, general new Linux distro advice? No apt ; _ ; it's hard to install stuff now xD2
So I wasted about 20 minutes yesterday because I forgot to look where I was plugging in my SD card...
I use a mid-2011 model iMac (with the CD and SD ports on the side), so, thinking I knew where the correct slot was, I attempted to put my SD card into the computer. Oh the adrenaline rush when I realized that the SD card didn't normally go all the way in...
So then I spent the next 20 minutes finding and poking various tools into the CD drive in order to fish out my 32 gig SD. Eventually I just ended up using two bent paperclips, but man, was that an adventure.
Oooh no. A golden fish would do. A Leprechaun too. Maybe I'd give a shot with a unicorn. But God sees I'm not going to have any business with geanies! No sir! Especially when we're talking about important matter, like dev!
Going back and forth with Microsoft technical support right now over a SharePoint issue. Good Lord I want to reach across the wire and smack them in the face with a sea bass. Not enough to hurt, but get their attention and smell like fish for a while.
No genius, the warning on the PowerPivot Data Refresh page 'Warning: this page is not encrypted for secure communication ..' IS NOT the problem. The error messages I sent *three times* from the ULS logs are the symptoms you need to be researching. Stop guessing and trying to blame any random message you see on our configuration.1
I just found a masterpiece:
Twinkle Twinkle little slut
Name a guy you haven't f*cked
Was he skinny, was he tall
Nevermind you f*cked them all
Twinkle Twinkle little b*tch
Close your legs they smell like fish23
When your co-worker comes to you with a doubt and you explain to him patiently for 1 whole hour and all he has to say is "Yeah fine, can you just update my code with that and send it back to me.".
Why the fuck did you even ask me to explain if all you need to do is escape the work, you fucking moron!1
Why does stackoverflow looks dead to me. Asked 2 questions this month , not even a single downvote or comment.
Is it only me?3
I think it's safe to say I'm not a big (medium) fish in a small ponds.
But now thinking more and more it's it's worth the time that I've already interested plus another unknown amount to try to become a little fish in a bigger pond...
Recently read Fish!
It's a really nice book..
Really hard to implement when you have total idiots working with you
If you're using fish-shell, I strongly recommend you to use "fnm" package for installing and managing nodejs various versions!
It's pretty productive 😍3
Dear fish (shell for anyone who doesn't know) ,
why the hell do you also color non errors red. Just gave me a damn heart atrack
That moment you realize, that the technology you try to search for is also a common name for a job/meal/fish.
*TABLE FLIP* -> *RAGE QUIT*4
Tmux. Motherfucking tmux, I don't even have to tell you how fucking good tmux is.
Combined with tmuxp, it's even better. Develop on all the devices with saved sessions! Share sessions across nearly any device? Fucking sweet. With fish and oh-my-tmux also?!
What a weekend!
I need some beer.2
Wow companies can be so inconsiderate when interviewing candidates. They’ve scheduled me for interviews at a days notice, and when I can’t make the interview they blame it on me!! Like who tf do they think they are!?! They hold all the power I guess. Ughh so frustrated with their interview process. This is the first time I have told an interviewer that I don’t think the company is a good fit for me, thanked them for their time and left. I’ve got bigger fish to fry.4
When you've been ignoring the low battery light on your mouse for a few weeks, finally it dies while you're working and it's really frustrating to have to either go find batteries (good luck) or fish that wired mouse out of the bin of spare things.
To top it all off, it's only a 3-button mouse and I can't get used to going back. (No pun intended lol)6
I appreciate recruiters a lot. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but yeah, they are great and sometimes they can get you awesome jobs.
But sometimes it feels like some of them are trying to catch fish with dynamite. I got the same offer a friend got, word by word.
Some days I completely lack the ability to focus on anything.. Much like a gold fish.
Other days, I keep going for hours and effortlessly picks right back up on my track..
So riding the wave & acknowledge when I should slack off and fake it when questioned is my method.. :p
JetBrains' IDEA. For being smart and integrated out of the box.
Mercurial + hg-git + MutableHistory. Like Git, but actually works and doesn't speak gibberish.
Fish shell. For leaving 80s in peace.
openSUSE Tumbleweed. For actually tested up-to-date software.
GNOME. For actually trying to improve UX.
Thought I would work on a side project this evening to make my life easier at work. *spends the next 4 hours setting up my works dev environment at home.*
Framework throwing null reference exception, support is in another timezone and the client needs a fix before close of business. Guess it's time to get out the decompiler.
Debs - Ready To Score
I'll be polite with your daughter
Young man that will be a dollar
Foe that arnold n palmer
Ain't nothin free in this world
Ain't nothin free in this world
Money ain't growin on trees in this world
Life's just a bunch of fees in this world
But thats why you gotta go fish
Gettin the fix for this dish
Chef in the kitchen, my cookin so rich
Chef in the kitchen, I'm gettin to this
Girls easier then a flip of switch
Pass me the rock I'm ready to score
Fakes never make it passed the doors
Do it for yourself
Do it for yourself
Do it do it
Do it for yourself
Pass me the rock I'm ready to score
Fakes never make it past the doors
Fakes never make it past the doors
Fakes never make it past the doors1
Great winows update caused all my vms to reboot breaking my dev environment. Thank you windows 10.1
Re: Momo the Monster challenges and the sickness and bullying of Internet culture towards vulnerable people in general: That’s enough Internet for the next 600 years. Cue asteroid.13
I love the feeling of producing the design specifications to a client, who is complaining that a feature doesn't work the way he expected. Even though you highlighted that it would be combersome to use before development.
After missing Linux, OS X (bow macOS) and other Unix systems, I started installing WLS, anyone know if I can change shell to fish, install a package manager and point to repos?