When the client thinks "freelance" means "working for free" and refuses to pay

I was having fun, when I aliased my co worker cd="exit", he spent his whole day on fixing it and decided to install os again. damn poor :/

Where I used to live my internet speed per second was 3.00 Mbps, I now have 90 Mbps, big difference.

So I barely get home and I see my 10 year old sister in the living room coding with the Xcode Playground, I asked her where she learned how to do that and she said "I just read the books you had." I'm so proud. 😭🤘🏼

Started working at a large company with promises of a great framework, stable environment and bleeding edge tools, decentralised working environment, only to find visual studio 2010, no git, no project management tooling whatsoever, all documentation stored on svn, no slack or other modern communications platform, still using uploaded word documents as documentation for projects and meetings, so yeah I can truly say :/

dude: hey could you hand me a patch cable ?

me: how long?

dude: as short as possible

me: sure buddy

😂😂

#foreveralone 😓

ok, wut?

Once upon a time as a developer for Palm handhelds I wrote an application in C which had to print via a Bluetooth printer.
When connected by wire everything was perfect, switching to BT it kept crashing for weeks without me finding the source of the problem.
Then came the day of my companies summer party. I've been the last guy to sit in front of the PC, investigating my problem, when at about 9 PM my boss came and told me, I should grab something to eat. So I went down, drank three beer and got back to work.
At about 9:45 PM the damn wrong * was replaced by the correct & and everything was fine.

PointerIssuesSolvedByBeer++;

Near future

So, this happened today...

Leaving the EU is like firing your QA team.

It feels good for a bit...

About Brexit.

Client: Build me two websites and I will choose which one I like best.
My Mind: Would you ask a builder to build you two houses then knock one down?!

How did this date format ever get past code review.

Precision 😂

How it all started....

come hither and praise the brilliance of windows help:

When I'm walking with my girlfriend...

A website just emailed me my forgotten password in PLAINTEXT.

I'm out of breath from running for the hills so fast.

Math nerds do it better!

Debugging somones hacked site now, you know some developer messed up when the heckers injected code is more readable and structured than the actual sites...

wife said she'll accept my pull request once I'm done with the dishes

When the person sitting next to you in the plane starts coding and you try to see what they're working on.

recruiters right now