I wanted to work on my sideprojects on the last days of the year but then my wife spawned a childprocess and somehow it eats up all my ressources..

Finally being self-employed and independent...

...time to rejoin devRant!

So, hi Guys! What did i miss in the last year?

the moment you get a job offer from am fortune 100 company but its in another country and you cant move because of wife and family ... :-/

some people should stop mistaking devrant as their new twitter...

I usually start going through the code and as I do I draw (connected) shapes for every part of the code, as I do I add "features" to the shapes (little spikes, give them stripes etc) that way I'm able to "see" what is missing and how the shapes should interact

this might be a bit weird to explain but it helped me a lot to understand what the code is doing and get it rolling again

after having to deal with a lot of weird "rewrites" and "refactorings" by co-workers i started to add this comment into the head of my sourcefiles:

You may think you know what the following code does.
But you dont. Trust me.
Fiddle with it, and youll spend many sleepless nights cursing the moment you thought youd be clever enough to "optimize" the code below. Now close this file and go play with something else.

Found this somewhere on the interwebs and since i use it the "refactorings" and "optimizations" of my code stopped nearly completely

Amazon API ... seriously...this thing is documented over 3 different pdfs in 3 different locations with 3 different requestpattern, 2 different answerpattern and requestthrottling per minute and per hour takes the rest...and then you just do basic stuff e.g. request all orders that were refunded by amazon... who the hell designed this mess?

i'm wondering how long it will take until marketeers/recruiters/"ad-people" will find this sacred place and ruin it for everyone...

i hope there is a "ban this asshole" button in the backend for...you know....just in case...

This little ducker

makes me happy everytime i see him

@dfox
just thought about it...
why not devrant rubber duckies?

(this might be proposed in some other comment/rant already, didnt check for it)

what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/

damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building

just might have optimised myself away by recommending a software to my boss which does 90% of the tools i'm maintaining right now...wondering if i will still be in this chair next year

...waiting for Twitter/Facebook to implement a "Rant this!" Button...

I hate everybody who says JavaScript is the best language because of loose typing and its easy to learn, YES OF COURSE IT IS EASY!

ITS FUCKING JAVASCRIPT! IT WAS MEANT TO BE EASY! AND THEN SOME ASSHOLE CAME ALONG, CREATED NODE AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!
NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO WROTE CODE FOR UX NOW THINK THEY KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN ON THE SERVERSIDE!!
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THIS ANALTOY OF A LANGUAGE.
YOU THINK JAVASCRIPT IS THE BEST?! DO YOU REALLY??!!! OH YEAH!?!
WELL FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL, YOU ARE NOT A DEVELOPER IN MY EYES, GO HOME KIDDO, LEARN C OR ASM OR HOW A FUCKING COMPUTER ACTUALLY WORKS!!
AND THEN TELL ME AGAIN JAVASCRIPT IS A WELL DESIGNED AND PROPER LANGUAGE!!
I'M OUT!

When people tell you how easy your job is, the best thing to do is to make them do it for themselves.

Hate those People...

just got a "privilege update" now i'm responsible for not only my software but for the webservers too...thanks admin guys...now i have more bullshit to deal with

That moment you are forced to use Windows to develop PHP Stuff and arent allowed to install Linux because of "Company Regulations" (aka Windows only Admins) ...

I just want my beloved Linux Dev Stack here :(