Client: we need you to give us access to the code ASAP. We don't like this black box approach.

Me: You have always had access to the code. It is here on this bitbucket repo and your usernames have admin access.

Client: We want the code moved to our GitHub before EOD.

I check out how to move repos over and it's fairly easy.

Me: just give me access to create a repo on your GitHub account and you can have the code moved over.

Client: Sorry it's late in the day and we stepped out to get drinks. (It was 2:30 pm). Not sure why you think there is a rush on this, we'll handle it first thing next week.

Me: WTF

FUCKING HELL! I JUST WANNA STAY HOME AND CODE! NO I DONT WANNA WATCH THAT SHITTY MOVIE AGAIN! NO I DONT WANNA GO DRINKING WITH YOU AND LISTEN TO YOUR LUDICROUS BRAGGING! NO I FUCKING DONT WANT TO MEET YOUR COOL FRIENDS WITH FACEBOOK PHOTOGRAPHY PAGES! NO I DONT WANT TO GET A NEW LIFE, CODE IS MY ART AND ALL I WANT IS TO STAY AND PRACTICE IT TILL MY EYES GO DRY AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS I'LL CODE IN FUCKING BRAILLE!

When CS professors are lazy to grade so they think they can just give you any grade without you questioning them...

Me: Hi Professor, I see I got a 94 out of 100 on my 2nd project. Your comments said, some of my functions didn't pass your junit test cases.

Prof: Yes!

Me: How come? I tested it several times before submitting and they all passed the test cases. You gave us the test cases to write the code for.

Prof: Yeah, but some of your functions aren't passing on mine.

Me: Since I'm in your office, can you please run it again so I can see?

Prof: Are you doubting me? I gave you the project and I'm telling you they're not passing my test cases.

Me: I just want to make sure because I did work really hard on this project to pass all the test cases. *Runs the code to show him on my laptop and they all pass*

Prof: Fine, let's run it together on mine again. *He runs it and they all pass on his laptop*..hmm, that's weird. They didn't pass when I ran them. Maybe, because of the IDE I used earlier.
Well, looks like you get your 100.

Me: Thank you but which IDE did you ran it in that failed? Just wondering..🤔

Prof: Doesn't matter now...they're passing. Just be ready for your next project...you guys will be writing the test cases yourself this time..

So i was playing around with terminal apps in node.js a few weeks ago and made a CLI version of devrant. Images get converted to ascii just for fun. This is about was far as it goes for me though - anyone want to take it over? (The code is shit - this was a midnight proof of concept). Currently there's pretty much just the rant listings, the login works too but I think @dfox would need to approve it's use.

Next script I'm writing is going to be a terminal rant posting tool so I can rant from my server 😉

$ rant -m "fml" -f ~/screenshot.jpg -t "lol"

A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Me: No…
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Me: FUCK!
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
*blocked*

I made a Trello board and listed some tasks for me and my team.

My boss comes in, I show him the trello board to show how I organized our tasks.

He liked it, so I asked him if we can use it more frequently.

He replied: this is your code, do whatever you want.

I asked: my code?

He replied: yah didn't just build this webpage? This interactive task manager.

Me in shock: hold on you think I built trello?

Boss: oh ... You didn't ? It looks like something you'd do for your "front end masterbaution".

Me: oh wow, well... If that was the case I would've made $425 million on top of my salary.

Boss: looked at me like meh ~ and walked away...

"Sure ill join the meeting it's not like I'm busy with the project's deadline being this Friday and all"
My notes from the meeting:

Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me

*piano starts

Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant

*piano

It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning

*epic guitar

I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo

I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging

Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!

*epic guitar

So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here

*epic guitar solo

Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them

Any way this code blows

So i can listen in on calls for my training.

I felt so sorry for a colleague when he spend nearly half an hour explaining that we only HOST someone's site and are NOT responsible for the code. (just for the record, he explained it in 15 different ways so anyone (nearly) would've understood but it seemed like the person in the phone just didn't want to hear it).

Poor guy (my collegue) 😞

My boss isn't really a developer. He isn't part of the development team and doesn't know any technical details about the product. He doesn't want to code, "too much effort", he just wants to boss. But he wrote some php in the early 2000's and is really, really proud of his codecademy html/css badge...

And that makes him dangerous.

Today I hear him talk from behind his laptop: "Right, we have this page for creating management groups, but we can't edit them yet. I can fix that!"

This task is literally on the current sprint, but he doesn't know that because he doesn't attend scrum meetings and ignores everything people say to him.

Me: This smells like probable cause, let's look with suspicion over his shoulder.

Boss:
"OK, right-click create.blade.php -> copy.
then right-click directory -> paste.
now just rename file to edit.blade.php!"

I start walking to the office kitchen.

Boss mumbling in the background:
"Now all I need to do is just copy the whole method in the controller, change the post url in the form, and modify the <h4> at the top, so it says edit instead of create."

Boss, looking at me now:
"This is so easy... creating and editing is almost the same thing, you can just copy paste all the code from one template to the other! I don't understand what you developers are always complaining about!"

Me: *Hands him a roll of paper towels*

Boss: "What is that for?"

Me: *points at code*

I am done with people, I just want one single room, with good internet, dual monitor setup... And I can spend my whole life like that... Being social, fuck that shit... I have devRant for that... and rest, I just want to code, listen to music, drink coffee and sleep like hell...

Why is it that I can understand some other dev's code faster that understanding someone's feelings. Why is it that I am good with principles of Programming Languages, but not the basic Principles of Humanity... Yes, I agree I don't have feelings, but is it wrong not to have feelings, I am a dev, I am supposed to be good with Codes, not humans... I want to be in my small space of close people. (My family), and that's it... I am no good with others. I hate Facebook, but love devRant, I spend more time on StackOverflow than that on WhatsApp. Why is it so... Why

I just hate npm dependencies.

If you want to write a small website with npm dependencies (some frontend deps like Bootstrap and some development deps like gulp or babel) you will have more npm dependencies in your project than own code. It is ridiculous, how some lazy developers just add dependencies to their projects, without evaluating their dependencies. The source code of one of my projects is around 4MB (without any dependencies). If you then run yarn as required, it grows to around 80MB (where 73MB are node_modules).

This is just terrible.

I rant about this, as I made the mistake to upload my node_modules directories when restoring a backup of my server. Worst idea one could ever have.

Boss: hey mech eng, we need a setup modification

Mech: no prob, boss, we can have it prototyped in 3 weeks, industrialized in 2 months

Boss: oh, right then, go on

---

Boss: hey, Soft Eng, we need a functional modification

Soft Eng: no prob boss, we can develop it in 4 hours, tested and documented in 2 hours and integrated and shipped to the client by tomorrow morning

Boss: what??? One day?? You just need to edit a couple of lines of code! I want it ready in ten minutes top!

Just got messaged by one of my customers. He buys a lot of scripts from me for his gambling website. He asked me to screw around a bit with the code so that of someone bets above $2500 they automatically lose. And they have a 50% chance of winning when they bet lower than 1000. He actually wanted to pay a lot of money but I declined the request, I don't want to screw around with scamming people.
I think i did the right thing? I don't care about the money though.

Look... I know I'm just a newbie. I started a year ago as a junior. Sure. No one wants to do code review, so I got chosen to do it. People don't like it when their code gets criticised. And you know what? I get it, I should probably be a bit nicer with my comments. I should not suggest I'll make a fork and split internal library into two streams if things continue this way. I should not ask questions that can be understood as me being passive-aggressive.

But holy fucking shit, you're a senior developer. Don't treat Java as a fucking scripting language. Don't have a method that has 600 lines of code, because you're repeating the code! You've already copy pasted this shit, and modified it slightly. Like, couldn't you have created some architecture around the code? How can a senior dev copy-paste code?

Oh and why the fuck did you create a new utility class for functionality I already provide? Look, I admit, yours is a lot better, ok? It has extra functionality. But why the fuck didn't you enhance my utility class? Why did you create a new one? Did you just not want to touch my code, or did you not see it right below your newly created class?

Am I the only one who fucking cares about maintainable code in this company? When I got hired, I was in tears by how frustrating a lot of the things were. No documentation anywhere, not even fucking comments. No processes in place. Want to do something? Source code is your documentation. Fuck you! I busted my ass of to force everyone to document every little bullshit, to re-factor their MRs that I reviewed, and I won't let even a senior fucking dev pollute the code base!

Fuuuuuck... Me...

I just earned 500€ by sending 8 emails and scanning a wordpress site
I talked this company to want basic security training
What i did was scrape their site for email addresses of important people, send all of them a phishing email (Thanks for not configuring SPF)
I got login details of 5 out of 8 high ranking employees

When explaining that you gave your password to me, one dude just said :”so what, i have nothing in there”
🤦‍♂️
Yeah, nothing but a remote access to all workstations, access to company’s shared folders, all customer details and billing system

Needless to say, they got a pretty stern lecture

And the site: 2 known exploits found, unauthorized passworf reset and remote code execution for logged in users

I need more dev friends... currently drinking a beer alone. Not that I am alone but I am unable to engage in normal conversation at the moment. Just finished a 7 hour coding binge where I developed a solution which I am very proud of and which results in weeks of development time saved for the company which results in more time for proper refactorimg and Magic tournaments. I just want to sit down with a friend, show my code, ask for improvements and reason the chosen solution. And drink beer.

I JUST FINISHED MY FIRST NEURAL NETWORK!!!

But first of all, as I know you guys, it's spaghetti code and even I as a newb see places where I used too few-dimensional array or passed useless parameters or simply wrote too many redundant lines of code. I know it. I will make it MUCH better next time. Period.

But OMFG this made me scream from happiness today!! Just these few seemingly random numbers... I'm really done.. That's why I jumped into coding year or two ago..

And for some background, I didn't study any IT school, I'm just highschooler (general grammar school) who traded gaming for learning. Also my maths teacher teached NNs on university and is very keen to teach me, so that's that.

Now I wanna make the best out of it and I'm looking forward to write some well documented and flexible library, parallelized and everything (I'm gonna learn a lot in the process of doing this) better then FANN.

Maybe I'm gonna fail(99% probability but hey, I'm programmer beginner, I still think I can code everything I want). But if there is just one moment like when I saw this screen today, I'mma trade my life for it.

Sorry for taking your time guys, I was just genuinely stunned... A lot

I think programming is definitely an art. The biggest difference between programming and other artforms like painting is that you don't want the people who look at your code to wonder what you meant with it. Just my 2 cents.

Pointy Haired Boss: "There's an issue with this simple bit of that service, could you take a look?"
Me: "Sure, give me a minute to investigate"
*A minute later*
Me: "No wonder there's a problem, this code is horrendous! What idiot wrote this unmaintainable crap?"
PHB: "Doesn't matter, just fix it, test it and release it."
Me: "I just want to check who did it, so they never touch our code again."
*Checks SVN log*
Me: "Well, I guess I can never touch our code again."

I was fired from a job where the boss had it in for me. He was a really experienced dev, but he was also very arrogant. He hated me questioning him. I didn't have the evidence nor the "political" clout to back up my criticisms.

It was humbling.

I realised two things:

keeping your mouth shut is often the best approach.

And

my own arrogance was keeping me from getting better, from learning new things. Not just for the company, but for myself.

I want to write better code, make better design decisions, utilise design patterns, actually think about what I'm doing, and be able to justify why I'm doing it.

I want to be able to choose the best tools for the job, not the best tools for me.

I want to be a person that is open to criticisms and I want to be someone who is always ready to learn new things.

You know the story about Battlefront 2? How long it takes to farm points to unlock those cool characters like Darth Vader etc? Yeah, it takes some time. Time that I necessarily don’t want to spend on mindless playing. I thought I’d try to beat the system by building this thing that would play the game for me by moving and jumping every few seconds.

I already have the code ready and now I just need to build the physical thing that will actually interact with the controller.

I am using an Arduino Uno with two micro servos.

Honestly I just want to see if I could build it, I’m not sure I will actually use it (you barely get any points if you’re not killing people anyway).

I’ll keep you posted with the result!

So, Microsoft has this Awesome co-working space in Finland
With free coffee etc
I just recently co-founded a game startup (GeneReal)
I came here ok Saturday at around midday, I am still here, I have not been home since, I'm not being held hostage or anything, I just didn't want to waste time on commute
I have been working like from 9 AM to 5 AM (YES AM) and slept for few hours on a sofa or a fluffy carpet with decoration pillows
Worth it: our proof-of-concept video had just crossed 4k likes on Twitter
Now, I just hope we can finish our demo in time
In time means today, tomorrow we have meeting with potential investor
And the piece of shit code I wrote is not cooperating
FUCK, I WANT MY SLEEP BACK
BUT I DONT WANT TO GO HOME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?
well, at least I have been able to compensate with unlimited free coffee and eyedrops, also, having gaming 👓 with blue light filter helps

I don't know.. I mean I'm spending so much time developing what I'm developing but.. In a couple of years, maybe the dependencies I'm using will be updated and my program will become obsolete.. what if the whole framework on which my application is based upgrades.. I don't want to have to rewrite code again because it's just too much work..

I think we need to figure out ways to future proof stuff.. like a decade into the future or so.. We shouldn't have to support prehistoric code..

Me: I have an input stream!
Library: I want a file.
Me: I can see your code, you will convert it to an input stream! Don't any of your constructors take an input stream?
Library: No. I want a file. Okay, you can also include an encoding.
Me: I don't care about encoding.
Library: Fine, just give me the file then.
Me: You mean I have to somehow convert my input stream into an actual file so I can give it to you?
Library: You're gradually catching on, yes.
Me: Can I add a new constructor myself that takes an input stream?
Library: Sure! Good luck in getting it approved by the maintainers and the new jar distributed everywhere, including Maven Central before your deadline.
Me: Fine, I'll just rearchitect everything so I can give you an actual file.
Library: And then everything will be fine.
Me:

My anxiety is kicking in again.

I want to build something meaningful outside of work but my mind is blank, I have no ideas to implement, and whenever one pops up in my head, I DDG it, I find that there's someone who already built something similar and I lose all interest.
I want to code, but I'm tired of solving fictional problems.
I miss being excited to learn a new tech, since I know I would ditch it if I can't find anything to build with it.

This is causing me to lose all motivation to code and learn, I really hope this is just a phase ｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡

Fuck code.org. Fuck code. Not code code, but "code" (the word "code"). I hate it. At least for teaching. Devs can use it as much as they want, they know what it means and know you can't hack facebook with 10 seconds of furiously typing "code" into a terminal. What the fuck are you thinking when you want me to hack facebook? No, when I program, it's not opening terminal, changing to green text and typing "hack <insert website name here, if none is given, this will result to facebook.com>" Can you just shut the fuck up about how you think that because you can change the font in google fucking docs you have the right to tell me what code can and can't do? No, fuck you. Now to my main point, fuck "code" (the string). It's an overused word, and it's nothing but a buzzword (to non devs, you guys know what you're talking about. how many times have you seen someone think they are a genius when they here the word "code"?) People who don't know shit don't call themselves programmers or devs, they call themselves coders. Why? It fucking sounds cool, and I won't deny that, but the way it's talked about in movies, by people, (fucking) code.org, etc, just makes people too much of a bitch for me to handle. I want everyone reading this rant who has friends who respect the fact that YOU know code (I truly believe everyone on devRant does), how it works, and it's/your limitations, AND that it takes hard work and effort, to thank god right now. If you're stuck with some people like me, I feel you. Never say "code" near them again. Say "program." I really hate people who think they know what an HTML tag is and go around calling themselves coders. Now onto my main point, code.org. FUCK IT. CAN YOU STOP RUINING MY FUCKING AP CS CLASS. NO CODE.ORG, I DON'T NEED TO WATCH YOUR TEN GODDAMN VIDEOS ON HOW TECHNOLOGY IS IMPORTANT, <sarcasm>I'VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK FOR THIRTY YEARS</sarcasm>. DO I REALLY NEED ANOTHER COPY OF SCRATCH? WAIT, NO, SCRATCH WAS BETTER. YOU HAD FUCKING MICROSOFT, GOOGLE, AND OTHER TECHNOLOGICAL GIANTS AND YOU FUCKED UP SO BAD YOU MADE IT WORSE THAT SCRATCH. JUST LETMECODE (yes I said that) AND STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW SOME IRRELEVANT ROBOT ARM DEVELOPED BY MIT IS USING AI AND MACHINE LEARNING TO MAKE SOME ROBOT EVOLVE?! IF YOU SPEND ONE MORE SECOND SAYING "INNOVATION" I'LL SHOVE THAT PRINT STATEMENT YOU HAVE A SYNTAX ERROR UP YOUR ASS. DON'T GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON HOW ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF WHEN YOUR GETTING ALL THE ANSWERS WITHOUT DOING ANY WORK AND THE FACT THAT JAVASCRIPT IS YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE. <sarcasm>GREAT IDEA, LETS GET THESE NEW PROGRAMMERS INTO A PROFESSIONAL ENVOIRMENT BY ADDING A DRAG AND DROP CODE (obviously we can say it) EDITOR</sarcasm> MAYBE IF YOU GOT THIS SHIT UP YOUR ASS AND TO YOUR BRAIN YOU'D ACTUALLY GET TO PRPGRAMMING IN YOUR ADVANCED AP COURSE. ITS CALLED FUCKING CODE.ORG FOR A REASON

Client: I saw this feature on a site and I want it on mine.

Me: I’m almost done with the project. You can’t possibly expect me to start adding new features now.

Client: Just go online and copy the code. I won’t take that long. It shouldn’t be difficult if you’re a professional.

WTF is wrong with people. The worlds gone to shit. Who does he think he is?

"So you need access to the test server?"
Me:"Yes"
"Please fill these 800000000 forms,sign here,get your blood sample,your ID ,your right kidney,letter of approval from your boss,...."

Fuuuuuuuck!!!! I just want to change only 3 lines of code!!!!!!

In my current work, I have two systems to work on (let's name em Systems A and B). Both basically do the same thing; both allow users to book facilities available to them.

System A is already in production. My job is to fix any bugs that come up on said system. System B is an improved version that they wanted me to develop. This would follow a different framework etc. I am already halfway through this system.

Now, here's the fucked up part. The code for system A is a massive clusterfuck. It has unused commented code dated back to ancient times where men had the brain of an ape.

And don't get me started on the fucking logic. One part of the code was to retrieve and display the timeslots available for a chosen facility. The code to do that alone takes up 500++ fucking lines, filled with ajax commands, html manipulation and commented, unused codes..AND THAT'S JUST THE FRONTEND!

The fucking backend was not a problem of smelly code anymore. Nope. It was like a programmer had code diarrhea and shat his backend code all over the project. If I had a pin board, I would have made a crazy wall just to understand what some fucknut was trying to achieve.

Anyway, my supervisor told me to fix some bugs on System A. Knowing how the code was, I told her that I could refactor the code. Since I've already achieved that function on System B, with a shorter and cleaner code, I could just copy that and use on System A. But nope. She SPECIFICALLY told me to just "do whatever to fix the bugs. I don't want to waste time on System A." Okay. Makes sense to me. Whatever. I didn't wanna fuck my head up looking through that mess of a cesspool. So, I came up with a few hacks, not thinking of clean code and fixed whatever bugs there was. I then just pushed to the repo (after testing of course).

This bloody morning, supervisor came in and gave me more bugs to fix. When I thought she was done, she said "Hey. I saw the fix you made to the system. The bugs are fixed but the retrieval of the timeslots is now pretty slow. Could you see what is the problem?"

Slow.. She said that it was slow. And asked if I could fix it. I already told her what the problem was and she did not want me to waste time on it. But she wants me to fix it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IN HER BLOODY HEAD! I SWEAR TO GOD... UGHHHHH I swear I was already waterboarding her in my head. YOU WANT FAST?? How bout fucking allowing me to refactor the code?? Fucking shit head. I think I should take up yoga.

Fvcking project manager wants me to commit my partials code to the master branch just to let our employers know that we did something today! That's why you are there to relay our predicaments to them, you piece of shit!
Now he is insisting it the whole team. Fvck! Are you nuts? Do you really understand what version control really means? Why master branch, why can't we just create fucking different branch and push it there if they want reference! Commits are supposed to be a fix code or update not a broken and unfinished piece of codes! I will fvcking cross my finger after messing up the master branch. Now it looks so disgusting to me.

Sometimes.....

When I want to escape how dull/repetitive/boring the world of web development is. I crack open a nice lil terminal, dust off my gcc/g++ compilers and fuck around in C or C++ till my eyes start to bleed.

I have been fucking around with systems development. Mainly with Linux programming. I have also started to get deeper on game engine design and compiler design....because low level development is where its at.

A man can only fuck around rest apis, css and html and the endless sea of Javascript and other dynamic languages for so long before going crazy.

Eventually.....I would want to code something impressive enough to give me a spot somewhere as a C or C++ developer. I just can't work with web development any longer man. It really is not what I want to do, the fact that I do it(and that I am good at it) is circumstantial more than because I really enjoy it. I really don't

I am about to switch careers completely to become a iOS/Swift developer. What a journey it turned out to be...

Besides the fact that I just bought a house and am about to get my first child, I had to do it.

My current job just doesn't feel right anymore. After 7,5 years the culturefit is gone.

Besides, I really love programming for many years now and I fell in love with Swift about a year ago. Spent many hours programming a day, reading blogs, watching vids, building my first complicated App. A few months ago, I wondered why I didn't pursue this path earlier.

I spoke to three different company's... They all wanted to move further, but just one company really felt right. A small business of 5.

After we met, they asked for a second meeting, a code presentation. I ever did this before, so it was weird talking about the code I wrote. Definitely different that just coding it alone.

The last and third time, last week, I asked them what I would be doing, projects and how they lead the small company of 5. We had a great meeting and agreed that I start september 1st.

Now I'm just waiting for the contract to come through! Its been 7 days though. Starting to get a little worried. I really want this!

You know, there is so much of a push to get girls to start programming. You know what, the industry is doing just fine, and if a girl wants to get in, she can. Girls shouldn't be considered special, they shouldn't be given a handicap and no one should assume they are worse.

There is absolutely no money to be made in the "Girls who Code" push and people need to start seeing that they are polluting everything.

I just saw, on Shark Tank, some crappy version of the Sphero, which may be the biggest insult to a product, ever, that was basically a Barbie driving around and you can program it. I want to die.

As devs we like to complain about our jobs. But I just want to take a moment and acknowledge how truly amazing writing software is. Nothing else has given me so much joy and happiness. The endless stream of new things to learn, the elusive art of clean code, and deep understanding of systems required for architecture. There is so much depth to this career we have all chosen and I hope you guys love it just as much as I do.

"The customers of our webshop are able to change their billing address... We don't want our customers to be able to do that."

(in a few months with the new general European data protection regulation I need to code it in again, so I just removed the html...)

Published a well documented and tested API with project examples for basic use cases

- "Yeah we didn't use yours because we didn't know how to use it"
- "Did you look at the documentation or code examples?"
- "What where?"
- "In the repo you just cloned"
- "Yeah no <random guy> found a hacky way of doing what we want, his thing just works"
- "I..."

Before I took on my current position (internal transfer), I stated that for what my boss asked for I would need a small team.
He agreed to that and promised I would get 2-3 developers.
6 months after (with countless reminders) he told me I could train some people at one of our providers.
Turns out those guys were Java developers, even though I asked for C# (since our codebase is .net)
After a few training sessions, where concepts as source control were a big topic ("why not just copy the code to a new folder with _good_ naming?"), I gave them a test assignment.
After reviewing their code I just gave up. They cannot program. They don't understand concepts like scoping of variables. Concepts of separation of responsibility.

I told my boss this but I had to make it work with them.

I went to my bosses boss (Head of IT) with my resignation in hand, since I felt my boss didn't want to support me actually getting a team. After a few talks I was asked to "keep it cool" and wait until he presented his new organization.

Now my boss asked me for which skills new developers should have. To which I could just laugh at him and forward countless mails from the last 6-8 months asking for developers.

<Irony>I love my boss</Irony>

Today I'm going to work on my side project that I haven't touched in weeks.

I want to utilize Angular 2 which means I'll need to learn TypeScript. I also want to use the new .Net Core and EF Core 1.0. Oh and I want to handle authentication using JWT!

Wow, that's gonna be a lot of effort to get things off the ground... maybe instead I'll use this time to learn some new concepts. Maybe watch this episode of Fun Fun Function, or maybe this video on writing Assembly code for an app on Raspberry Pi, that sounds cool!

Actually, you know I should really teach myself dependency injection and unit testing for once. I'm so behind the times.

Well, really I should finish this book on design patterns first. Ok, where did I leave off? Page 20 I think... ehh... maybe I'll just work on my side project.

Tomorrow... tomorrow, I'll work on my side project.

"Don't reinvent the wheel..." - I read it often, still I hate to use foreign code. It's not only that I do it for learning purposes. I just don't trust them. I want to keep the control, I want to understand my application and I want to be to blame when things fuck up.
I would probably through my laptop if my website gets hacked because of some fucking plugin or code I found somewhere on the internet.

So yes, I will invent the wheel new. At least I will spent some time to understand how this particular wheel is made, how it rolls and how I can improve it for my specific situation.

Sometimes my tires have some uncommon profile, but they fit to the stuff they are made for.

New semester, new problems....

Just started my 6th semester at uni and my teammates are already proving to be serious dumbfucks..

They want to keep all files neat and organized, sure, fine, good idea.
They want to use Dropbox to store code and our LaTeX report, no, never! Somehow managed to get them to switch to GitHub, yay!
They want to have everything in one fucking repo! Why? Oh god, why? And I can't change their mind on this!
And they still want to use Dropbox to have a backup and sync between their machines...

So during this semester, we will store our LaTeX report and the, at minimum, 3 code projects, in the same repo organized by folder!
Why not one project, one repo? Then I won't have to pull all the shit code that I don't have to work with!

Expect more rants in the coming months...

Just curious, how is it like to work as a developer. I mean, as a profession and not a hobby or freelancing.

From devRant, so far I know that you work in an office, the managers and bosses are assholes, and people always write unmanageable and undocumented code.

What else is it like? Do you get to work alone or do you have to work with people? Do you stay there all day long?

I know its still going to be a while for me, but I want to know how it will be like.

I'm so weary of JS right now but every time i want to code something in another language i just think:
"Why don't i just do this in JS. Would be much easier."

Please help me.

I hate it when I try and have a discussion with another dev and the conversation devolves into something akin to:

Me: I'm doing a thing in y language! How do I do z using y language?

Dev: WHY ARE YOU USING Y LANGUAGE?! Y LANGUAGE SUCKS AND IF YOU USE IT YOU'RE STUPID. ALL REAL DEVS USE X LANGUAGE.

I just wanted to know how to do something. Maybe I don't want to do it in another language. Maybe I have to use this language for work/study. Maybe I've just been given legacy spaghetti code and can't change the system easily.

Why do people feel the need to do this? And if they want to flame a language why can't they do it constructively?

Dev: If you are trying to do a thing in y language, why don't you try using x language? It offers an easier way for you to complete the task that you want, and it has other amazing features too!

Then you could actually respond with the appropriate response which would be thanks but no thanks because of this reason or thanks i'll check it out.

No need to be so elitist all the time.

Man it's midnight and all I want to do is work. 5 hours from now I'll be dragging out of bed to go to work where nothing gets accomplished. In 17 hours when I drag in from work I can do real work for 7 hours before crashing while wishing I could just code through the night. It's an infinite loop and I dont know how to fix it!

1. Comes up with a project idea.
2. Doesn't have enough friends who code to collaborate said idea with.

3. Abadons project.

All in that order. lol
I just want to build cool stuff. :(

I wonder if I'm getting tired of making websites for people. I just "fired" two longtime clients today without really caring all that much. Not for no reason. They just were asking too much for too little. And I was getting bored of them. When I think about what I want to do in my spare time, the first thing I think about is creative writing. The last thing I think about is code and website design. It didn't used to be this way.

Holy shit I never realised how frustrating it is to code for a client the way they want it... I mean I just want to go back to coding for fun

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AT 8 AM AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SLEEP SINCE 12.30 AM. IT'S 6 AM ALREADY, 6 AM!

I guess when they no screens before sleeping they really mean it. I'm fucked, I'm really fucked. I guess I'll stare the ceiling until the alam goes off and accept an awful day and hope I get pumped up during the test or something. Fuck me. I want to fucking SLEEP. Fuck.

I just wanted to install vivaldi before sleeping and watch the last rick and morty episode. Does that fucking make me a fucking night owl? No. I could've use these precious time learning or writing code, or even sleeping, but fuck! I'm stuck here in time, just waiting for fucks sake!

Good night...
OR That's what I WOULD say if I could sleep...

Me : I should start building user authentication system.
inner self : there are enough free and secure ones out there, just go read the documentation.
Me : fuck I'm not reading 10000 pages of documentation written in alien language.
inner self : well then you better start building
Me : **writes code
Inner self : you better add the data validation and security while coding
Me : I just want it to work !
Me after a few days trying not to suicide : the site is hacked, the code is bugged, hello darkness my friend

How intellij handles syntax errors while reformating code vs eclipse:

Intellij: I'm not sure what you want to do there, so I'll just make slight adjustments.

Eclipse: Yeah, I don't understand this so fuck your whole file.

Manager: what is the estimations for this task A nd B?

Me: Task A: 3 months for 1 guys, and task B: 2 Months

Manager: ok, u can have a fresher, and finish task A, and u urself can pick task B, u can train him and bring him up to pace...

Me: (trying to recalibrate my estimations)...

Manager: oh and u have 3 weeks to deliver production ready scalable quality code with junits, documentation and testing done...

Me: then why the fuck did u bother for the estimates?

Manager: oh that is just for the process complaince...I don't want any trouble in audit...

I just cant fucking believe this bullshit!

THE PRODUCT YOU'RE ASKING FOR NOW ITS NOT THE PRODUCT WE AGREED ON MAKING. ALL THE ADDITIONAL FUNCTIONALITY AND CHANGES YOU WANT TAKE TIME!

I can't believe how rude can people be! We were supposed to stop working in this product MONTHS ago but you keep asking for changes, for additional things and then you yell at us just because we dont have it ready for yesterday?! You got some fucking balls man just fuck off. You have to understand the development process, every change you ask for can have consecuences that make us rewrite a bunch of code and we also need to test everything again and again to make sure it works! Gimme a break!

!rant
I would like to ask you guys for advice.

I am a content manager who is gradually given more and more dev tasks. That is great because I want to become a webdev. However I have one big issue. Whenever I write code (any code) I feel ashamed because I know that anyone else could do better. I am also ashamed to show my work to my colleagues because I am afraid of what they might think of me. I know that they are good people and they would probably help me out but still...

Someone once tried to explain to me that I am not my code and whenever my code is being evaluated I am not the one who is being judged, it is my code, my current knowledge. I understand conceptually what he was trying to tell me but I just can't feel it.

Did you have similar feelings when you started out?
Thanks in advance.

I still don't understand the effect devRant has had on me...

When I first joined I was quite happy just being my old 2D game developer self but now all I want to do is build CLI tools, interpreters, root through source code I don't understand and not shut up about arch... Not sure of I'm down the right track or not now

TL;DR: A freehoster got a redesign!

I remember when I made "my own website" in wix and sitey. It sucked working with them for me. I hated having an ad for them fixed at the bottom of my screen. I hated WYSIWYG-editors and wanted to paste my own code, a pro feature.

Sometime later I found bplaced, a free german based (also English language) hoster. And I use it for all my "official" test project. My first ever published self-coded website is still on there.. When I want to show someone what I've been working on (locally) without putting it on my domain, I use their services. They always looked oldish like from 2000 but their redesign puts them at least in 2015 :D

Give 'em a shot if you want.
Sadly, I am not paid to say this. I just really like them.

Isn't it lovely when someone wants feature X and Y and one is five minutes (and mostly CSS) and the other one is hundreds of hours of backend code.

"I don't want to know, just make it happen. Jeez how hard can it be, it's just a new button"

I'm looking forward to natural language programming.

The ability to code by explaining what you want to happen and having a neural network work out the fine details in an optimal fashion with evolutionary techniques.

I look forward to the super AI. I don't think they will necessarily be evil, however above a certain point we would seem like ants to them... And when was the last time you checked if there was an ant where you were to put your foot? It's not malicious... It's just not worth your or their time.

So I have BiPolar and Borderline Personality Disorder and had an interview today. We'll I slept in and missed it. My psychiatrist recently changed my meds to help stabilize me. Now I'm up for 2-3 days before I sleep. I timed it so I would be awake, but ended up falling asleep and woke up a half hour after I was supposed yo be there. I'm so pissed off right now! I've been working my ass of learning to code, buy my own brain is sabotaging me. I just want to be a normal person with a normal job. I love programming because I get to be by myself and work away from customers. I'm so frustrated and feel beat down. I don't know what yo do. 😠😤😡

Fuck regex and everyone who has ever endorsed the use of and/or is affiliated with regex.
It's unreadable, impractical, overly complex and complicated and it adds unnecessary clutter to your code, and your thought process.
It's 00:50 am and I just spent 3 hours debugging a regex only to realise forgot a single "?" in a 75+ character long string and I want to go to bed.

I've always avoided full blown IDEs because they were confusing the fuck out of me with all their unnecessary features, were hogging my resources and were just a pain to use in general.

I've tried Atom as a text editor with additional features, but it was slow as fuck, so I uninstalled it pretty quickly. I didn't really want to try VS Code because muh Microsoft, so I just kept using vim.

Today I realized that not using VS Code just because of Microsoft is pretty dumb, since it's still open source and I don't have issues with the MIT license. So I've installed it and goddamn it's great! Super fast and really lightweight by default, letting me install the plugins I need or want. I love it!

IntelliJ has this tutorial where it teaches you a bunch of shortcuts for making life easy, since version 2017.3 or something like that. Most of it is pretty meh, some of it is pretty useful. And I just came across a keybind to auto format code.

What else do I need. If I can quickly format my code and make it look pretty, that's all I'd want.

"Try reformatting the selected code with Ctrl+Alt+L"

*Linux Mint goes to lock screen*

*logs back in, code is unchanged*

Well played...

Cs Student. We currently have a course on algorithms, where we have to implement something in Java, test it with some sample inputs and in the end submit it to an online judge, so far so good. So why a rant? Well there's this one person, who strugles with programing and asks me a lot of questions. Usually I tell her, could you send me your code, so I can have a look at what doesn't work/where you made a typo/what ever. My thoughts: let's just copy it my IDE, take a look at the error message, and that should do it.

Guess how I got the code: As a few photos, taken by her mobile phone (as the code doesn't fit on one screen...)! Just send me the fucking file, or post it to gist.github.com or pastie.org or what ever fucking code sharing tool you want! Make a fucking git repo, I'll even live with SVN or just a .txt file by mail. But for the love of Linus Torvalds, stop sending me crapy pictures of your crappy code! For fucks sake!

Help?

I work in support and some of the developers here don't seem to realize that their customers can't use the app they wrote because of all the bugs, but they freak out if anyone so much as *thinks* there's a problem with the code.

We have evidence it's their code. How do I get them to see I'm not saying their code sucks, just that a few changes might help performance?

I don't want to insult them, but at the same time, they're only responsible for one application...

So, today a client said: "If you are a web developer, well you can make me a damn mobile app. It's the same fooking thing, you just write code and make it go on my device. I want a whatsapp-like app for my company."

I really, really wanted to punch him on his godamn face... At the end I spent tbe rest of the meeting explaining that I don't develop mobile apps since I'm a web developer and that it is NOT THE SAME THING. He went angry and said "Well, I think I'll find a better dev somewhere else. You are a useless one"

Just woke up and all I want to do code, but I have family over...

Hello World! First post here. I'm literally done with frontend stuff. I want to design code, not to code design. Unless it's Processing. I find it cute. So.. I have a somewhat handy grasp on C++ because of a class in electronics course, Python seems quite easy to catch. I'm totally new to programming. I'd like to get into software, game development and android development (but I would like to do things cross-platform).
Which paths, resources, languages, useful books, videos, or just anything would you recommend?

To be fair, I have no coding friends so mentorship or simply finding code buddies would be great. 💜

Worst part of being a dev?

For me it's putting myself into infinite loops wrestling with my own self doubt. Is this really how I want to solve this problem? Could this code be cleaner? Surely there's a better way to do this? Am I adding unnecessary complexity? Is this going to come back and bite me in x months? And so on...

In fact, most days I just feel like an imposter.

I wrote my first line of code at 12. I fell in love with it and continued. I'm 25 now and I'm a software engineer. I don't even have time or energy to work on personal projects anymore. Writing code isn't a hobby anymore. It's a means to survive. Why/how did this happen? When will building things be fun again? Before landing my first job as an engineer, not once did I consider salaries, equity, atmosphere, nor any of the other amenities (or lack thereof) of code as a profession. But, I don't even know when any of that fell into the picture and they've managed to suck the novelty out of a really cool pastime. I'm essentially a well-paid robot. Who did this? What's happening? What can I do to find the freedom I once had? When did I become just another cog in a machine? Should I try my hand in business, bent on making a lot of money so I can retire early and have time to experiment again? Is that unrealistic? Should I buy lottery tickets every paycheck? We only get one life and I realized this. I'm panicking because I know I'm not enjoying myself and that I'm not on track to leave the world better than it was when I was born into it. So much loss. I'm grateful, but this is not cool at all. I want my hobby back.

Me in school: Math? When do I need know those details? I can look them up and just code it.

Me in high school: Computer science is way too math-y. I want to code!

Me coding php: Just make it work.

Me coding typescript: Just make it work.

Me coding scala: Just make it ... what ... how do I make it work!?!

Me asking stackoverflow: How do I do X in scala some functional programming stuff in mind in order to keep immutability.

Somebody way smarter than I: "In scalaz, a function A => A is called an endomorphism and is a Monoid whose associative binary operation is function composition and whose identity is the identity function"

Me now: Fuck my old arrogant self.

Just a personal request to @dfox
Can you screenshot only the part of the behind the scenes code of devrant? Just the part of it.
I want to see the syntax and how the language is used.
Thanks.

PHP is my main language, but I haven't had a single problem with it yet.

Nodejs it is.

How can you possibly make it SO GODDAMN HARD to just implement ANYTHING synchronous. THERE ARE REALLY FUCKING GOOD REASONS YOU *WANT* YOUR CODE TO STOP EXECUTION WHILE DOING SOMETHING

EVER HEARD OF HARDWARE PROGRAMMING? YEAH, APPARENTLY NOT

GRAAAAH

Not sure how other developers handle this but I just had a break down and do not want to see another piece of code for at least a week :/

Create an web application(a product of our company). Manager insisted on using X third party API instead of Y third party API.

Now the app is complete.
*Very slow, Shitty User Experience *

I feel shameful for creating such a disaster and also wasted 3 sprints on it. But couldn't do anything because I don't have an authority to take decision which API or technology stack I should use.

Business head and manager had a meeting. Now they want to use Y third party API.

So they called me for discussion, lets me know we will now use Y third party API and it should be completed within a week because we just need to change the API calls in code that's all, despite of knowing all the core logic is built around those API.

Don't know how to react to this :( Want to hit my head on a wall

We're no strangers to code
You know the conventions and so do I
A full commit is what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other dev

I just want to tell you about my problem
Gotta make you solve it for me

Never gonna git you up, never pull you down
Never gonna rant around and rebase you
Never gonna merge your branch, never gonna say $#@*!!
Never gonna risk a cry and build you

!rant

All I want in life is to be left alone in a fucking sub-basement somewhere so that I can just code and research and drink coffee and ignore other humans until the day I die.

Is that so much to ask? To be left the fuck alone?

PLEASE NO MORE EMAILS OR PHONE CALLS CLIENTS! I JUST WANT TO WOOOOORRK!

I practice what I call "Aggressive Oriented Programming" or AOP.

Whenever I'm investigating a bad bug, working on a project that I really hate, or dealing with messy code written by a messy developer, I often find myself resorting to an [internal] state of violence.

It's not like I scream and smash my screen (although sometimes I want to). It usually consists of a few git blames and some curse words in print statements for debugging. This is just my way to vent.

"I understand you want to write your own code. But that's not professional. If you have reusable tested code just copy and paste it in your project"

I thought he was joking. But I am realising it's the most valuable advice in jy workplace

I like to joke around when I am working. I understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but ffs you should be able to laugh at really complex problems in stressful situations. How else can you remain sane writing thousands of lines of code just for an e-commerce site or so someone can post even more cat pictures on the Internet.

If you can't laugh and enjoy what you are doing, you might want to rethink what you are doing with your life.

So I had this conversation with my boss yesterday...

Me: Hey, I found this bug in the other team's code that has a major impact on what we're trying to do. Can you ask them to look into it?

Boss: No, I don't want to be the one who has to tell them there's a major bug in their code. Find a workaround.

M: But... It isn't really a major bug, it just has a big impact on our side of things.

B: Workaround!

Fuck bosses who value how they think they look to other devs over a day of my time. Fuck.

When I start #100daysofcoding ! In which you at least daily code for an hour. It can be your side project or learning something new. Just search on Twitter if you want to know more
I am sure many of you already know this !

I don't think I'm smart, but why most of the people are so retarded??
They want to just make the code work and skip home!
Not caring about how their code effects the whole system!

During a code review I was told that
if(x and y){
if(z){}
}

Will be slower to run than
if(x and y and z){}

I mean if you want to talk about programming practices and uniform code yes absolutely but any compiler will treat these identically, not to mention the assembly being identical. She was a superior though so I just went along with it.

Every time when I double click a .cs file and Visual Studio begins to load.... Noooo! Stop. I just want to look at the code for 5 seconds. I don‘t need VS for that! Damn!

My biggest distraction: Working at home. I have a student job at my university and work at home. Just visit my boss every other week to show him the results.
So I always thought it's amazing to work at home. No need to travel to the work space, I can arrange my time as I like, noone's constantly watching what I'm doing.
Sounds great, right? Yeah it is, but is it productive? Lol no.

I'm getting distracted by everything. New mail about some kickstarter stuff, one hour wasted. "Can you help me with that computer problem?" Yeah sure. "Wanna play some League of Legends with us?" Sure, but just one round, I need to work. Ten rounds later I wrote like three lines of code.

I could ignore all that stuff, but I'm at home and can do whatever I want, right?
Results in me working through all night, because then there's noone to distract me.

Only if people understood the amount of effort that goes behind building a simple app.
Even if it's a simple notes app, I've to design the UI (at least 2 different activities - 1 for the list and the other for editing notes), write the code which makes it run i.e. without which the app is just a piece of empty design, think about what data
structures to use (that notes you are saving need to be stored somehow) and then club everything together and hope nothing breaks (spoiler alert: something will definitely break).

People need to understand that it's not just putting some fancy buttons and boxes around. Also, I'm not just making the app for one device. I've to make sure it works on different screen sizes, different versions of the OS (a user can't imagine how many functions need to be re written because something got deprecated in the process and I'd to switch to something different).

Also I'm not just sitting at my computer and converting coffee to code. I've to think about the flow, structure, design, navigation, backend etc. Of the app; most of my time isn't spent writing code but thinking/studying how to write the code. I also need to wait while the project is compiling/building every time I want to test it.
A function which you think is hard to implement night be really easy while something you claim is easy might be a nightmare. Oh and I didn't even mention how I need to stick to some design guidelines to make the app look consistent with the rest of the OS.
If you're wondering why a developer is spending most of his time on a browser, he isn't playing internet games or browsing reddit ( at least you better hope not), he's probably looking at the docs/stack overflow to get something to work/fix something!

Wow! That was long. Thanks!

My boss knows nothing about development. JUST buzzwords.

*in regards to a project* Boss: "just write it in PHP; it'll be easy!"

Me: "you know PHP?"

Boss (fully serious): "...enough to be dangerous."

He has never written a line of code in his life, let alone has any clue about what PHP does. Whenever I want to fuel my rage, I think about this moment.

Gj Mastercard! My card just got blocked because every time I want pay and 3D secure code is needed, every first SMS that day is delayed by 5 minutes so session expires and I have to try again...now it happened quite a few times and card got blocked. Fucking shit...

Why does node-sass have such garbage documentation?!
I've now spent over an hour trying to get a clear and concise answer to how that shit works, and what do I get? This: (see picture)

I don't know what any of that means, nor do they care to tell me.
I don't want to render this shit at runtime, I want it to compile the sass code when I make changes to it so my app doesn't get boggled down by unnecessary background processes.
But nooo of course not.
To top it off, the "easy" electron-compile solution doesn't even fucking compile because all its dependencies are either outdated or 404 on me. 😡

It's shit like this that makes me hate web-style development. Lacking documentation and people who just assume everything is logical and clear from the start. It's fucking not.

Has anyone had to hack into a server so they can set up their work,

Literally have a client asking me to do this change to their site and they are asking the dev who is controlling it but they just not letting me access ..

Long night ahead 🙄 got to add a ftp account ... All I need to do is add small lines of code for tracking, but this guy doesn't want to let me on it cause I'm slowly taking over his work... if he did his job right it's not like it would be happening anyway

Boss: oh so you are working on that unrealistic 3week project ? Let me also assign you some completely unrelated office work.
Me: But I'm a programmer, researching other companies and contacting them looking for new projects is not part of my job descrip...
Boss: oh don't worry I'm sure you'll do great!
Me: that's not what I'm sayi...
Boss: ok I have to go now, have it ready by tomorrow!
Me:(crying internally)...ok.

I'm pretty fucking sure that if I were to quit my job, I'd have to gather the fucking requirements, create the fucking user stories, and then JIRA the ever-living fuck out of it before I could submit my fucking resignation.

I just want to write fucking code.

So a friend of mine is starting to learn PHP and HTML and he tells me:
"I wrote some code in HTML but I can't run it through the browser"

I'm not brave enough to tell him you can't "run" HTML

But later, he told me "so now i'm writing PHP just to understand how it works, but don't want to install the program to run PHP"

How the fuck you gonna learn?

I already know I'm gonna have to build what he wants to do :/ at least a couple thousand euros incoming :D

Here is what I see in industry right now.
Don't go on math but get the gist.

1. 9 of 10 developers are Web developers
2. 9 in 10 developers want to be data scientist
3. 9 out of above actually give up and start doing Web development
4. 9 in 10 developers think CS education is not necessary.
5. 9 in 10 developers want to work for Google Facebook and Microsoft.
6. 9 in 10 developer don't make it to above companies.
7. 9 in 10 developers think design and test are important but never do it.
8. 9 out of 10 developers don't want to code after 5 years and just want to exit industry to non technical roles.
9. 9 out of 10 developers don't get rants and dev memes posted here.

What's your take on this

I want to get in the habit of proper documentation of my code, But i'm not sure how it's formatted, how it should look or how I should even begin writing documentation? Do I open a document and just take snap shots of my code and explain how it works? I'm a little confused. Do I take pictures of my UI and explain how to use it? Is it like writing a book?

"My code is good, I'm senior and don't make silly mistakes anymore. Tests are for mediocre developers"

This is what a guy who I considered a mentor for long enough time said to me when I was at a junior level. He wouldn't listen to my arguments because I was just a junior obviously and knew nothing about development. Needless to say I kinda dropped the mentor thing after this and a few other things he said or did.
He was quite surprised that I don't want to learn when I have an opportunity to learn from an experienced person. Sorry bud, trust but verify. You failed.

Your code sucks bro!!
It fucking sucks!!
Couldn't tell you face to face but I'll just keep what I want to tell you here.
It really sucks. You shouldn't be coding.
Get a farm.

It's 00:54. I'm supposed to wake up at 8.30AM. Not even tired. In front of my computer, with a frozen Visual Studio Code on the left screen and a frozen Madeon music on the right screen.
My CMS won't get compiled anymore, due to lack of memory. I have 16gb of RAM, gave it 4 of them, and it froze. If I give it less, it just won't compile. Why. I can't figure out wether if it's my code which has some memory leaks or if there's just too much JavaScript in it. What did fuck up? My code? React? Material-UI? The way I want to mix them all together? Maybe I just shouldn't have used React to cover up everything, and maybe I shouldn't have used Ruby on Rails the way I did.

Fuck.

What do I do now.

I am a senior Android dev, and I have an old colleague (iOS senior dev). We work on the same project, but in every estimation session he pushes a lot on the lower side: he estimates 4h a task that normally takes 6h or 8h, and the reason is that he has no social life. Right after work he starts working again from home (I can see all his commits), he also works almost entire weekends. I would say he works as average 12/13 h per day.
I don t want to work extra time (unpayed).
About him, it is his life, so I don t care...but at the same time this makes me pressure. I care a lot about quality of code, and I don t want to sacrifice it just for catching up. Most of the people in the team know that he works a lot extra time.

How would you handle this?

Whenever I automate a lot of menial code, so that after that I only declare what I want, and I immediately and automatically get it just the way I wanted, I feel LIKE A GOD.

Bow to me you stupid computer! I now command you with just a thought!

Code is not the only thing I do. Sad but true.

Sure, sometimes I just want to scream "JUST LET ME CODE", but internal hackathons and PO 1-on-1s make me feel like there's a meaning beyond my 34 open tabs.

!rant

I am a Windows user and have been using Mac for last 3 years. I knew SSH for a while, but used it just to connect servers when no other options were available.

Today I just found that I can connect to my Mac from my Android phone using SSH and can run any command I want. I am now running builds and deploying code from my phone since then.

I don't know why I am feeling this happy 😁

The feeling when you just want to code code code but you have tons of other work 😥
Wish I could just program those tasks (laundry, dogwalk etc.)
Might as well build a robot, uh?!

Going through the typical phase of being depressed because of feeling underdeveloped skill wise and ignorant knowledge wise; despite how much I learn. God, spent 3 days on a recursive dynamic programming problem and couldn't implement it right... then I decided to glance at someones solution on github and turns out he did what I couldn't do in 70+ lines of code in 20. Sigh, just want to right concise and clear code and become a better programmer all together, but that obviously takes time. For the mean time I am feeling quite defeated.

One thing I hate about WinForms:

"do not modify the contents of this method with the code editor."

How the phook do I add eventhandlers without adding them in the code? By some mysterious ways in the so called "designer"? Click and drag? Wearing a tie and talking to the computer? Making a phone call to Microsoft? Immersing into VR and ordering an event handler from a virtual store?

No, I've always just typed whatever I want to achieve and I'm going to do so whatever those know-it-all comments say in the auto-generated code.

You can call me a conservative old fart, but nothing beats writing my own code.

Firebase is pure fucking assrape!
How can these spoiled cunts of Google "develop" such a stinking pile of rotten placenta?
No, one fucking Promise is not enough... you have to return Promises for every single smegma function!
I want to just blow up this ugly afterbirth!!

It seems that Google devs are just spoiled MacCunt Pro brats who copy-paste code around until something "kind of works".

Help, I don't know if I want to code as a job for the rest of my life.
I feel that I miss physical activity in my job. Its just sitting and programming.
I like programming, it's an infinite series of puzzles, and I like puzzles. But more physical would be nice.

Maybe I should find a 2nd job that is more physical and balance the two.

What is everyone's thoughts on this?

Common Lisp code has (imo) one of the cleanest syntax possible in programming language. I really would like for Lisp dialects other than Clojure to make a heavy comeback. And we now hace Quicklisp which is a package repo for CL code.

I really want to see more people into Lisp, it really is a great language man you just need to get past the (()) and it makes sense I promise.

Guys please try CL. If you already have awesome code skills and have some free time try going throughe the gigamonkeys book. Completely free online and setting up an Emacs environment with SBCL or CLISP is a breeze. I use Lisp to experiment and it gives a lot of room for exploring new concepts.

Another cool language that is emerging is Smalltalk in the form of Pharo. If you have been casting asside OOP because of the way many mainstream languages do it then maybe you will like Smalltalk as a pure OOP form.

I just want more people in this shit and this community sure has some awesome programmers, so why not?

one of the leading dudes in CL is currently Eitaro Fukamachi, one dude...doing amazing things. My aim is to give him a hand.

So normally I go with a super-conservative error handler that logs errors, and exit the process on even the tinyest/smallest error.
Regardless or project/cms/framework I always to this to prevent myself from installing spaghetti plugins or writing unstable code.
Also because I don't want any code to just soldier on if a variable wasn't defined properly, or likewise.

But today I had to write this little fucker into my error handler, to support the error surpressing operator '@'

Appearently prestashop was developed by a group of senseless moronic fuckwits,
and hteir piece of horseshit software doesn't even work if it isn't allowed to surpress errors.

What was the fucking imbeciles thinking when requiring such lunatic behaviour...

I just found a 980 line long method in one of our legacy code bases.... And I need to add to it. There are no unit tests and I desperately want to refactor that shit....

I'm working this whole weekend to rewrite/move an old custom made shop extension to the new shop.

The amount of possible SQL injections is too damn high and this piece of shit the creator calls code is the most pitiable thing I have ever seen!
I don't how you can call yourself an experienced programmer if you create SQL queries by concatenating strings and variables in raw PHP, copying the same fucking includefiles to 10 different folders and use all of them in random places.

I'm not angry at all, I just want to castrate you with a blunt, fake swiss army knife so mankind is safe from you multiplying yourself.

A couple of weeks ago I went to an interview where I was asked the following questions back to back: "What would you do if you were the prime minister?" && "What would you do if you were the attorney general of the United Nations".
Needless to say, I wasn't prepared for that...

not really a rant but the more i code, the more fun it gets. i havent really dived this deep into coding and allowing myself to take most of my time doing it has made it more interesting for me. now i want to learn more and start creating personal projects aside from real university projects. people may think its weird that i have been devoting a lot of my time writing code, but i guess they just dont understand the difference of coding for grades and coding for fun.

we are all in it for fun!

I built a basic MVP for a client as a proof of concept for his startup. It was a quick thing just to prove a point do I rattled it out in procedural php.

Sadly it was successful and has somewhat taken off. It’s also grown arms and legs.

It works. The user will never know, but the code is SHIT. I never thought it would still be here.

I’m want to re-write it now in laravel.

But...... ugh

i hate when things have names that are TOO simple

let's say, frogleg (random idk). ok kool, so you named your editor, server, tool, wtf ever: frogleg. now i go to search for it. i get food suggestions, pictures of disected frogs, a whole bunch of stupid shit

or "jump" wow - jump? what a specific name for something. i can't just search _for_that_

it's too common of a problem (and ppl don't even make easily grep-able code either but that's an even bigger issue)

if you want to name something snazzy simple, at least throw some 1337 in there so it's distinguishable.

froglegz, j0mp, j_mp, juhmp, jmper, idfk be creative. make it different.

don't just use a standard word from a spoken/written language. unless you want it to be unknown and hard to find

Ok so the final projects for my Web Programming class this semester just got handed out. We are assigned into pairs, however my class has an odd number of people so I have 2 others in my group. We got assigned to make Nim with a bunch of extras tacked on since we have an extra person to work.

When I asked how we would share code someone fucking said "I can keep the code and you guys email your changes to me". Hell to the fuck no. I suggest we use git, as it'll be easier to merge changes and I know one of the other guys knows how to use it. My professor then goes "that's out of the scope of this class, don't use it". Motherfucker what? Out of the scope? I'm sorry that I want to use something that makes collaboration easy and even is a chance to teach this other guy a good skill.

*lunch time*
Designer: we want to put these graphs on the landing page.

Me: ok, well they are pretty simple I can recreate them in about an hour with JS, and they will look better and be inter active...

PM: we don't have time for that just use the images from the mock up

Me: ok...

*5hrs & dozens of emails later...*

PM: the graph doesn't look quite right, can we just build it in code so it looks better? Oh and we need to have it to the client to review by end of day...

Me: ...

PM said I modified code that change UI so user may not familiar with. So, how could I know what is user familiar with if PM doesn't include spec or user manual to me.

No one tell me how to solve the problem, since you just want problem to be solve I solved it my way. :)

better late than never.
So I just decided to go with Gitlab after being a Microsoft Team Services user.
To do next on my list:
Move away from .Net for backend services, any suggestions? I use dotnet core due to being able to easily finish what I want and with less code to write. Tried Springboot for Java but not a Java fan, might checkout kotlin though

Local backend at work: Perfect
Local backend at home: 401 user not authorised
:/

I really want to see the source code for pokemon go even though I'm 100% certain I'll be unable to understand it I just want to look at it and try to learn how it works

But I'll probably never see the source in my life :(

I'M A SENIOR DEVELOPER NOT A BUSINESS ANALYST...

IF YOU GIVE ME SOME CRAPPY LEGACY CODE THAT SOMEONE RANDOMLY DECIDED TO USE, THE ONLY WAY I CAN UNDERSTAND IT IS BY RUNNING IT AND REVERSE ENGINEERING THE "BUSINESS LOGIC".

ADD THAT WITH BAD INPUTS... THE ONLY THING YOUR DOING IS WASTING MY TIME..

JUST BURN THE WHOLE THING AND GIVE ME THE REQUIREMENTS OF WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT....

It feels like I've been fucking a pig all week...

Oh and now my team agrees and will look to get the actual requirements from the business...

This feels like a hallow victory.... As that was the first thing I told them to do....

So... Today I started using my first Python web framework, web2py. At a first glance I liked it, the templating system, the view/controller thing ecc. But there is one thing in frameworks that I really don't like: they make me feel dumb.
I mean, in just one line of code I can generate an entire form, but if I wanna customize it a little bit... I can't. Or better, it is very hard, also if there is a bug, I have to look for a problem in an entire system that I DID NOT wrote.
I don't like the idea that the frameworksl handles everything for you, like it is teasing me, I don't even know how it works, it just works, and man, I don't like it. There's some kind of hacker in me, I dont like a system that just works, I want to know how it works. But the sad thing is that I will have to learn web frameworks if I want to work in the IT, right? Please If you can help me or share your experience with web frameworks do so.

if i work on PussyBranch to build up a feature, and DickBranch is my main branch so if i merge directly from Pussy into Dick and then work on Dick, and then switch to Pussy again then surely i wouldnt be able to commit to Dick because Pussy isn't filled up with the new code, right? I'd need to pull the latest code from Dick into Pussy branch. but what if i dont want to merge Dick into Pussy code? because what Dick contains, Pussy should not and that would cause anomaly and break uhh how do u call it, the purpose of the branch itself right. So if I want to work only on Pussy and commit just that segment of the new code into Dick, how do I do that? Do i have to force pushing Pussy code into Dick every time or can i do it without force command? serious answers only pls

also what alcohol is good for a more productive and longer hour coding sessions thx

Sometimes I just want to blame everyone in this group for their shitty code, but then I realize, that Im just the intern and only here for around 2 weeks ...

Instead I cry in silence.

I am a junior web developer, currently working in my first job for a small company, I was hired because I have an interest in meteor and modern web dev.

When I say small I mean I am the only full time js dev.

So the project we are working (my first ever professional project from start to finish) is a travel booking web app (being a little vague, for the sake of privacy). I am the lead developer, as a new programmer of a project that is far from trivial. There are no other javascript devs in office, no sort of code review. We have an outsourced dev but as I got in a flow with one dev my boss supposedly told him to do it part time (without discussing with me), but haven't heard anything from him, so assuming he's just disappeared (probably annoyed at being treated like a commodity).

Boss has set up the stages, and forces me to move on to the next stage before that stage has been finished. I will have to go back over the whole thing to finish things off.

He will only hire cheap juniors, one front end guy with barely any experience is styling the site.

He is used to churning out WordPress and Magento sites.

Wish I had a senior I could learn off.

I want to stick at this project and see it through, but i can only see it ending in a train wreck.

At the same time I want out, I want to work under a better team with senior programmers and better code review.

I just have to do my best and see how it goes I guess

First week at job as newly graduated from CompSci. And I feel like a fucking monkey trying to figure out how everything works, I have help from the main developer but it feels like I have to ask questions all the time and I can feel the judgement in his voice. Today I committed my first lines of code (phoneformatting) and he basically had to hold my hand the whole way through. I feel like shit atm, I really want to be good at this, I watch tutorials but when it comes down to it my mind just blanks out and I can't figure out how to even write a simple fucking method in php (which he did and my brain just shut down ). Please help me, how do I improve at remembering all these terminologies, I feel like if I keep it up like this they won't have me around for long.

No Rant:

I guess I will start a religous discussion with it but I want your opinion on what tool I should learn.
Vim or Emacs (or stay with my IDE)?

For all of my programmer life I used IDEs... From Eclipse over CodeBlocks over VS to IntelliJ.
But now I realized that I want to be one of the cool kids. And using plain IntelliJ is uncool. No matter how much I love this tool.

So now I want to invest some time into learning. I never managed to do much in Vim since all code-completions sucked ass, feedback on syntax errors was bad and I never saw how I could be any faster with that shit compared to what IntelliJ does for me.
Will Emacs solve all those problems? Will Emacs make me code 1000 times faster and make having a mouse useless?
Or am I just too dumb for Vim? Can Vim itself do what my IDE does for me? Will it make me look as cool as I want to be?
Or should I stick to IntelliJ and just install Vim bindings?

What is your opinion on Vim vs Emacs vs any IDE?

Holy shit man...

I know its supposed to be hard but I cant ignore how much I want to give up right now.

I've been learning JS for months now, doing daily algorithm challenges, going strong on my freecodecamp dev map and still, I feel like I might no be cut out for this.

It's been more than a week now trying to implement a minimax algorithm into my tic tac toe game. I can't, for the life of me its just getting more frustrating by the day and its driving me crazy! How the fuck am I supposed to ever get a junior webdev job if I can't do something as simple as this!, And I keep reading and reading the theory but I cant implement it into my code! It just makes me want to quit (again)!

I really need to work on my attitude...

While sitting in a train (5 hours trip) I really want to code something, unfortunately I dont have my laptop with me, so i just connected with ssh from my phone to my ubuntu vps, created some project via npm and use android app to edit the code. It is not perfect but works. Someone else code like that?

Dont blame me for making Minecraft plugins, but holy shit i really hate stairs right now.

Im modifying some old code of mine to add extra features, and i just need to be able to rotate stairs 90, 180 and 270 degrees, then im past this bump.

Stairs get their direction based on a byte value that makes no fucking sense to me.

North = 3
West = 1
East = 0
South = 2

Ive been drawingto see if that made me go "oh like that", checking if the bits of each value had a system, and now im here.

Titshit.
I dont know who made it like this, but i really dont want to make some static switch or if/else statement to process this directional trash. I want it flexible.

If you spotted a system to the numbers, please mail me a rock, and then tell me how i fix this.

Just got an internship in a big company. Related to web development but they want me to use/maintain legacy jsp, servlet code. Should I take it? There are other departments too but I have been put in this shitty one.

At the end of the day, I just want to fucking code. Paperwork can eat a dump truck of dicks.

I was think of using ajax to pass data from javascript to php because of some validation to my multiple checkbox, then before i go home the idea hit me to just use validation in php with some basic variable manipulation and if else, i just wasted 2 hours of searching just to arrived at a basic solution, i think it's much better to think before you code about what you want to do,but when i open my text editor i get distracted a lot.

Not the code review itself, but having repeatedly to nag my project leader just to get a review is the worst.

I'm "only" a student and it's a project without fix deadlines so it's alright with me that it is low priority.
But - I want to learn something here, I really do, I'm new to C# and far from mastery. Apart from that my focus was mainly hardware during the last years.
I need some fucking brutal and honest criticism on my code, damnit!
That's all.

If you gotta talk to yourself while you code, either whisper or get your own fucking office. Every. Single. Minute. This person is talking while coding. It isn't even when they're working through a problem. It's a fucking play-by-play, and I just don't give a shit. I listen to music a lot, but sometimes I don't want a headset on. Some ppl think they're the only ones in the office, but news flash, YOU'RE FUCKING NOT!!!!!

Normally you would have:
- Management
- SysOps
- DevOps
- Devs

In the company (30-50 workers) we only have:
- Management
- SysOps (they don't know how to deploy apps beyond FTP to a webhost either)
- Devs

Jepp, management does not want a specific DevOps department, because he thinks every single "I just finished the Javascript course on codecademy" person knows how to deploy an app beyond dragging&dropping it to a webhost with FTP...

I tried to propose to them that I handle DevOps and teach it to others, so we can deploy code that we deem "production ready" in a more proper manner...
They refused...
They rather stick to "just use FTP to push any changes we made directly to the production server and test changes there"

As a junior dev from a sysadmin and security background, this is a list of software development concepts I never seemed to truly understand but hope to(rated from most intimidating to least):

1) Frontend web development and all the huge world of javascript frameworks and tools. - It's more overwhelming than the political geography of the Holy Roman Empire in the Middle Ages.

2) Machine Learning, Deep Learning and A.I- too much math that fucks with my brain.

3) low-level programming(kernel,drivers) - sounds extremely interesting but the code in assembly/C/C++ looks like Linear A Minoan hieroglyphics.

4) Rx(insert language here) - I never get why it is useful or why someone invented this. Seems interesting though.

5) Code Reflection - sounds like Thelemic magick.

6) Packaging, automation, build tools, devops, CI, Testing -seems too complicated. I just want to run an executable at the client or make a web app that does something. Why all this process?

You know what bugs me the most? When people make their code fast and efficient, but not updatable. Like if I want to add something for my program to look for I'd rather just put another item in an array than modify/add 30 lines. Jesus Christ people.

Around 6 years ago I started at this company. I was really excited, I read all their docs then I started coding. At every code review, I noticed something was a little off. I seemed to get lots of weird nitpicking about code styling. It was strange, I was using a linter, I read their rules but basically every review was filled with random comments. About 3 months in I noticed, "oh! there aren't actually any rules, people are debating them in my code reviews!" A few more reviews went by and then I commented, "ya I'm not doing any of this, code review isn't a place to have philosophical debates." All hell broke loose! I got a few pissed off developers, and I said, listen I don't care what the rules are, you just need to clearly fucking articulate them and if you want to introduce one, I don't care about that either just don't do it in the middle of my review. I pissed off 1 dev real bad. Me and this dev were working together, the QA person on the team stood up and said "hey! you know what I love about your code reviews?!" The other dev and myself looked at each other kind of nervously, "I love that you're both right, these are all problems!"... 1 year later (and until now) me and the other dev are still friends. Leave it to QA to properly identify the bug.

Fuck you for asking for my advice and then just disregarding it because it doesn't dovetail with what you were hoping for. You continue to justify your shit code design as "the way it has to be". Bullshit, I just told you other ways to do it. You didn't want to hear it. Open your mind. Learn something new. Be a professional. Your code is ass and you should feel like an ass. Don't ask for my help anymore. Prick.

I lack inspiration to practice my c++ and it's infuriating, the result is no code written in over a week.
I have extremely high expectations for myself and right now I lose sleep, sanity and any little self esteem I had in me regarding my progress
I know you can't rush knowledge, but I just want to built something at my level of practice that is somewhat useful to me and / or others, but when I do it, it's either shit or someone my level made it way better even if I really put some efforts in it
I won't quit but jesus this just feels awful.

I work on many projects at work. There's divisions of teams and each team typically has one project. Each one of those projects have weekly Sprint meetings.

That's great! For the team. That means each team has one meeting a week so it's not too disruptive for those individuals.

Me on the other hand? I've got my hand in all the buckets. I'm on every team. I'm the only person on every team. This means I get to go to every meeting.

Let me rephrase that:
This means I -have- to go to every. Single. Meeting.

Which means I have a meeting every. Single. Day. Even if I didn't touch that project that week.

It is literally THE biggest waste of time. I sit there in a 1-2 hour long meeting saying absolutely nothing, not even being spoken to. I could be working on other projects.

And these meetings normally interrupt something I'm working on. Conveniently in the middle of me being in my zone. It makes me completely un-motivated to work for the hour before the meeting because why bother if I'm just going to get interrupted? And then it takes an hour to get back into everything after the meeting because everyone is fooling around or complaining about the meeting.

So that's three hours of my 8 hour work day completely wasted.

I don't know my problem is. I lost my motivation to code, my enthusiasm and excitement to read a code and solve a problem. My love of my life for 6 years whom I thought she's the one, gave up on us. It was a long journey, lots of ups and downs, but really worth the time and sacrifice. Now, she's doing good, very happy on her life judging from her social media. Can't believe she just moved for 2 months. To be honest, i want her to be happy but quite bitter that she just moved on quite fast. And I don't if this is the reason why I lost my motivation and enthusiasm to code. Or maybe I just don't like the project we're working on. Well, I really don't like it since it's a mobile game, I really want to build webapp or mobile app but it's too late to change the project.

I'm not like this, I used to code until morning without noticing the time, excited to solve a problem that stuck on me for quite a while. I really became a lazy person right now. I feel the pressure to finish the project but I don't see myself working on it, I don't feel interested reading a code. I just play computer games instead of working on my project during my free time. I don't know if I'm depressed. I socialized with people, have fun, happy when I'm with them, but when I'm alone, sadness starts to creep in. I feel like there's an empty void in myself. I don't know, i just want the motivation and energy to work on my project. Im tired, lazy, and feeling burnt out. If you read until this very last sentence, thank you and I'm sorry for reading this nonsense.

Scala's default Seq is MUTABLE. Why the fuck do I want mutability in my functional scala code!?

Now I have to riddle my code with imports to scala.collection.immutable.Seq which looks just ugly.

Gosh dangit.

I don't want to use Visual Basic!

I'm a 17 year old boy and I have a couple of years of experience with coding. At school we had to choose between a couple of things to do 2 hours every week. One of them was about computers and programming. Sounds fun, right?

The teacher is letting us code in Visual Basic in MS Excel. I tried to explain him that I know how to code, but he still wants me to listen to him.

He doesn't even use any indentation! I can't look at it and I don't want to use VB it sucks just let me use js or anything else but not VB! Why won't you just accept I'm 10 times better than you! Just let me do my thing!

Now he thinks he can challenge me with a password strength checker. I want to use js, some regex to make it very short and efficient and a nicely styled web page. But now I'll be forced to use a horrible programming language (VB) I never used before!

Fuck windows!

Now that I have your attention. My problem is with "IAR embedded workbench", not so much with windows but I'll get to that.
I've used that IDE for a few years.. 2 years ago. Since then I apparently forgot how to even create a project from scratch with adding all the necessary libraries and all that.

My initial deal with a client was to give them a solution using whatever tools I deem necessary. As I recently moved to linux and IAR is not available for that os.. and I also enjoyed working with CLion and PyCharm which Are available I decide to use CLion to write my C project.
A problem was that to compile code for microcontrollers I need tools unsupported by CLion.. oh well. I can do all the compilation and uploading of the code through terminal .. so I make a bash script that does it all. Super convenient. Development is going well and all.. until they ask me for the project.

I sent them the project so that they can see my progress. They can't do shit with what I gave them because they don't even have make on their machines let alone the compiler. All they have is IAR. But the guy that wants to see the code is not really a programmer.. he is a hardware specialist so I can't expect him to do anything more than use what he knows. He doesn't need or want to learn more right now.

So I go to windows and start porting my code to an IAR project and 2 days later I am still stuck with it. FUCK. Not only was the installation process horrible but the tools I wanted to install additionally did not work as promised either.

I know it took me about 2 days to setup all I needed on linux but I was enjoying it every step of the way. While this garbage is frustrating me so much. The fact that I used to do it before adds to the pain.

I am this close to telling them to just look at my code in notepad and I can setup a vm for them in which they can compile it if they really really need to.

If they just told me from the very start that they want me to work with IAR that would have been fine. I would have never seen the easier way and would have gladly figure it out then. Not now.

Biggest one is dealing with idiots who break everything. Can’t space anything properly. Oh you needed that function? I got rid of it because it broke my code, and it was easier. Oh yes, just perfect, get rid of a core fucking function you retard that multiple parts of the code rely on. (Luckily it wasn’t pushed to the main, otherwise everything would’ve broken...)

Another one is finishing a damn project, I have like 20 by now... all in different languages that I want to learn. Time comes to work on it? Oh wait, let’s make this because it’s more fun! Just adding more projects to my graveyard.

I visited my college school today and my friends from lower years are still afraid of coding , i mean coding doesnt bite it just take time to understand , i think people want the easy way of understanding things rather than building up from nothing, thats why i love to code because i can literally make something out of nothing.

So I have this Boss, he is actually good. But he micro manage everything. He writes the code that supposedly we should write. He just want us to turnover what he write. And he just want us to understand it.

So at the end of the day. We didn't learn something.

Client email: so you know that custom thing I wanted on my website that you made and I refused to pay for? Could you just send me the code, I'm gonna write my own.

*Staring at screen in disbelief and laughing*

Even if you were an awesome client, and you had paid, I still wouldn't just "give you my code" so you can write your own. You hired me to do it because you CAN'T not because you didn't want to, not because you're lazy, but because you are not mentally capable of making your own.

Me: I'm sorry, but I'm not sure you would even know where to start with this, what was wrong with the one built?

Client: I wanna put the code in my Salesforce so it can run the API request and automatically make a lead for me.

My code takes fields from a form, runs the data over to the API, gets the response, allows for user confirmation that the information is correct, and then sends all the relevant data to Salesforce as a lead.

Me: But that's exactly what mine does, just does it from your website where users will be entering the info, and once they've confirmed it you get a Salesforce lead.

Client: well some of my leads come from other places and I want to simplify everything.

Me: no, not possible, sorry.

If you didn't have 25 different websites for one company then all your leads would come from the same place and it would be simple.

This has just happened

general channel to discuss sonos.
I have sales team less than 1m away.

this office is a fucking pub.
free beers, people telling jokes and
having non work conversations, free beer/wine.

The dream! unless you want to code.
if you want to code....ah NO WFH POLICY.

I was rejected by the company that I had already made plans to work for, all of it was perfect, but I just got rejected based on a video response question basis. At this point I'm down so much that I want to leave the field. I feel like I'm giving up way to easily and especially since it's only a start to my career but I just don't know if I am good enough anymore, the hesitation to write code has set in and I don't know where to go anymore... where or how do you guys get your inspiration?

My first rant. Woohoo!

Honestly I do the whole shebang ussualy depending on what the needs are from network to servers to coding because for some reason nobody has any technical experience where I work.
I just started app development for a gamedev startup and I am in sheer awe of the amount of transpiling/compiling etc that needs to be done for an multiplatform app for iOS and android with js(x)/typescript, html, css.

I remember when I could just write some spaghetti code to make it working by following a couple of tutorials. Then refractoring and testing it for a couple of hours and be done with it. push it into production.

Now I am lost having to learn OOP, functional programming, reactjs, react native, express, webpack, mongodb, babel, and the list goes on and on...
Why not just make a new backend that does all of that in another language which supports all of that.

I have no formal education in programming/coding and the last time I learned JS it was just some if else, switches and simple dom manipulation.

I just want to get to coding a freakin' game but I have to learn JSX for the front and typescript on the backend.

I am this close to going back to ye ol' lamp stack and quitting this job. 😥

So i informed my intent to leave the job in few months in pursuit of learning something new in tech. Boss is trying to convince me to not leave and said i should consider learning it after work hours. In fact, in his opinion, the best way to learn is just going ahead and learning it while doing it in the project ( which usually has impossible deadline and fugly code by colleagues who never thinks of good coding practices when typing their shit ).

Well guess what boss, I don't want to just live a life staring at monitor all day. I don't want to kill my eyes either.

Following his advise and not quitting would mean living a slave life.

I have other plans actually. Like being self employed and traveling the world which would be impossible if i follow the routine life.

Fun fact: he claimed he made an AI car back in 90s!

He also thinks I can't sense BS!😏

First day is over on the new job. So much information about onboarding and hr, but I just want to code...

My parents love the fact that I code and study computer science! They've always been super supportive of what I do. I just can't wait until they stop asking me to put on netflix whenever they want to watch a movie 😭

Does anyone find the laravel documentation just lacking? It seems like it the twitter feed of documentation leaving out very important information that leaves me banging my head for hours. I really like laravel and much better than working with raw php but I wish there was an option in the drop down for additional a more flushed out version with more code examples. I understand experts don't want to parse through tons of text just to find the correct artisan command but c'mon.

I was reviewing a Pull Request recently and there was this line
`return josn(202, 'Record does not exists')`

I told the developer that, status code and description does not match.
He just did not want to accept that he was wrong and told me that, since this function is not exposed to public, it does not matter.

Whats wrong in accepting that you are wrong. We do make mistakes, consciously or unconsciously. Huur. I regretted reviewing his codes there after.

I just spent 3 days with 1 or 2 hour of sleep just for learning a new way to code. Not a project it just for learning. And it make me crazy i cant stop thinking about that. And now im not sleeping at all and code almost 24 hours. But i feel a lot of fun while writing a line of code. I enjoyed every sound i made with keyboard.

Im soo happy now i learned a lot of things. I dont know how to stop and i dont want to stop coding.

I dont know what im talking but thanks devrant for letting me post this shit.

Shit swizzler in school group project doesn't delete ANY code. Just comments out everything, everywhere.

Some of the files is scrolling through 30 lines of comments, 2 actual lines of code, 20 lines of comments, 5 lines of actual code, ...

Somewhere, in between all of his shit code, I just want to add: "Fucking stop with the comments, you wheezing bag of dicktits"

Oh and this afternoon, he asked me where he could find the Bootstrap code I'd written. He couldn't find 'the file'. I had to explain to him that it's kinda everywhere, throughout the HTML.. As a novice in many many things I fully understand not knowing everything. But the little shitstick told me he 'uses bootstrap all the time' just two hours before he asked me this.

I swear everything this guy touches turns to shit. One more day of this and I'll slap the bitch out of him.

P.S. Free virtual advocado for the first person to guess what movie inspired my insults (easy, I know)

So, when I was like 18 I made an app for a guy who stole a phone book database in paper and was paying people to pass it to access.
He asked me a program to make it easier to add data, he was paying people to do it one by one to an access db.
So I made that and a module to join all the dbs and check for existing ones (there was no way to join access db back then).
When he told me he didn't want it anymore...
So I deleted the sorce code and gave the binary to an uncle to use as a phone book for work.
Two weeks latter the guy called because he didn't know how to join the dbs. Well the source wasn't lost... I just deleted it and told him that if he had paid my software would take care of it...

Since ive started college my will to program has become non-existant. Im a self taught programmer since 12, it used to be MY thing and i loved it. I used to spend hours a day just programming personal projects because i love it. However since college has been getting serious with this being my junior year and having part-time contract work i dont "love it" as much. Im a little scared, i have no time to just code for fun and when i do have time it feels like work because thats the only other time i code.

What should i do guys, i dont want to fall out of love with programming, it's part of who i am and i can feel im losing it.

I inherited some code today. I am in the process of reworking it to drop into my framework so I can use it with our product. I am seeing this throughout the code...

try:
\do something\
except:
pass

Ahem... HANDLE YOUR DAMN EXCEPTIONS!!! DON'T JUST PASS THEM INTO THE BLACK HOLE OF NOTHINGNESS! FFS!!! Using pass like this means "Fuck it. I don't care if this fails and I want NOTHING to tell management when it does. I want to blindly look into their frustrated eyes and say ..duhh, I don't know why it failed... Fuck troubleshooting. You know what, this job isn't meant for me anyways." My outer voice is politely saying "There is a better way to do this. Please allow me to show you." Meanwhile my inner voice is flipping tables and clubbing baby seals. /rant

Spent all morning debugging legacy code that I need to migrate.

Most of the time is just waiting for it to load --pieces of data-- entire tables from the database and then filter out the records it doesn't want using some app logic.

WHAT SORT OF MONKEY WRITES CODE LIKE THIS? HOW WAS THIS EVEN ALLOWED INTO PRODUCTION...

I have to open Notepad to write down my chain of thoughts, steps, and things to check once the next breakpoints are hit so that I don't forget them.

So in theory I'm being paid all morning to sit around and do nothing.

That sounds great but I'm falling asleep... Shoulda worked from home...

What was I saying again...yea...

DON'T HIRE MONKEYS!!! THEY WRITE SHIT CODE THAT WASTES EVERYONE'S TIME EVEN AFTER THEY LEAVE...

I'm going to lunch now... Hopefully Notepad has enough into for me to remember what I was doing...

Writing unit tests on a weekend and catching up on work that needs to be done because I m too busy on weekdays to have time to think about this...

The sad thing is test coverage is shit in the entire code base as boss just decided to start enforcing requirements now... And I have this huge migrating from legacy system project that needs to be merged. And we'll the legacy system is even shittier

So I have to write unit tests for shit code that was never written with testing in mind...

On the other hand I reworked some testing utilities to make it easier... For everyone... I want a huge bonus.... That I probably won't get...

Ok so I've just got my first ever PR merged and am excited as hell. I want to continue doing more open source stuff and eventually apply to Google Summer of Code.

I've read that you can get a stipend at GSoC, does anyone have experience with GSoC and know what the criteria for that are? They just write that "successful" students get a stipend, so what does sucess mean in that case?

Ugh I really wish I could just decide on something and role with it, haven't touched my book or website for a while so of course my websites code is all fucking horrible and spaghetti and I want to rewrite and revisit a lot of my book -,-

Why can't I just be happy with something like this!

Your code is like your face! Looking at it often it makes me laugh... But sometimes I just want to punch the shit out of it!

On the days when I just want to sob and put my head through the monitor....

I get out a piece of paper and draw my processes (whether that be code or mapping etc). Each step of each process, helps to represent the input and output of each method.

This makes it easier to find which step isn't giving the desired output....

Either this or the rubber duck method. :)