There was a DB error which made my student card invalid which means that when my JetBrains license expired I couldn't extend it. Now I can't use it at all so all of my projects are stalling :/

Is it just me, or are ++' much easier to get by nowadays? Back, in my early dR days, you saw one, maybe 2 posts with more than 50 ++. Numbers over 100 meant that it is definitely worth reading. And now, almost every second rant has got 50 ++ and more, and TBF most aren't even that quality rants that they used to be.

He is not really my coworker, but this seems like perfect opportunity to rant about this.

So, there is this guy, who asked me whether I want to join him in a project. I asked him what kind of project and what would each of us do. The project was Cryptocurrency Arbitrage and I would code the bot to do the stuff and he would design the logic to even out the money after the transfer. And we would get two thirds of the money and I would get the rest. I haven't said no yet, but ...

Algo back at doing what it does best.

Rant && story time

When I was in first grade of high school (age of 15) we had a class of informatics. Nothing unusuall, you say, but this teacher was ummm ... Let's just say special. Most of his classes looked like this:

TEACHER: Ok, class, today we are going to learn/work with <insert a name of a software here>. # And then he sat behind his desk, falling silent for the rest of the lesson. We had to look up the software ourselves, and learn to use it. Or not.

Next lesson, he just said:

TEACHER: Continue your work from the last time.

And on the third lesson of each cycle, there was grading in place. He walked through the class and if he saw you working with the software, you got a 5 (that is A for our western friends), but if you were doing something completely different, you got a 1 (that is F). That just ment that you had to open the program and wave the mouse around while he was looking at your screen, and you got a guaranteed 5.

And then the cycle repeated.

However, this is not the story about the teacher in general, it's a story about one specific event involving him.

Around the beginning of the year (calendar one, not school one; that is middle of the school year) a programming competition took place.

The first stage (school competition), was easy; I got 45 points out of 50 (I was second-best on the whole school, of all years (students from 15 to 20 years of age).

A few weeks later, second stage (national competition) took place. However, when I got to the registration dosk, things got weird.

I patiently waited in line, but when I got to the front, the assistant asked me for year and school.

ME: I come from SCHOOL_NAME and go to first year.
ASSISTANT1: All students who go to SCHOOL_NAME need to go to that separate line.

It seemed strange, but I walked over anyhow. Maybe there was enough students from our school so that new line opened for us.

ME: I go to first year. # I assumed I don't have to tell the name as the line was only for our school.
ASSISTANT2: Ok, but you need to go to that row. *points to the row wherexI just came from* # WTF is going on now?
ME: Ummm, I just came from there, and they told me to come here.
ASSISTANH2: Oh, you go to SCHOOL_NAME?
ME: Yeah
ASSISTANT2: Ok then. What is your name? # Thank Knuth, one mistery less
ME: My name is SELF.NAME
After a short search through the envelopes:
ASSISTANT2: Here you go # Both the fact that my name was completely misspeled and the procedure it took us to finally get to the correct envelope are a story for a different time.

Skip forward some 10 minutes, to the lecture hall where they just told us all the instructions and started to divide us into classrooms

ASSISTANT3:
for CLASSROOM, STUDENT_LIST in STUDENT_DIVISION:
for STUDENT in STUDENT_LIST:
STUDENT.invite(CLASSROOM)

At the end, only a few people, including me, remained.

ASSISTANT3: Is there anyone not from SCHOOL_NAME? # Umm, yeah, WTF is going on now?
Noone replied.
ASSISTANT3: OK, you all, come with me now, we will find you a classroom.

From there on, competition went fine, I came in second, got a new phone as a prize, no complaints.

However, later on, I realized what was the reason for all that weird behaviour.

Signup date for the second part was on LAST_SIGNUP_DATE, which was at least two weeks before the competition, and signups had to be done untill 1600 that day.

Our teacher signed us up at 2200. ON THE FUCKING DAY BEFORE THE COMPETITION. OF COURSE THEY HAD NOTHING PLANNED FOR US, NO ENVELOPES, NO COMPUTERS, NOTHING, IF WE WERE SIGNED UP LESS THAN FUCKING 12 HOURS BEFORE THE COMPETITION INSTEAD OF 2 WEEKS EARLIER. THE ONLY REASON WE GOT TO COMPETE WAS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T SHOW UP AND WE USED THE PC'S MENT FOR THEM. IF EVERYONE SHOWED UP WE FUCKING COULDN'T COMPETE.

And from that moment on, I always signed myself up for all of the competitions; better safe than sorry.

The team I am working with wants to use Slack. Slack doesn't have night mode.

I am being torn apart.

Actually I feel I am prety lucky about the relationship between my yamily and me being a dev. My dad is a developer as well (in fact, he was the one who taught me most of what I know today; not as in general coding, but good and bad programming practices, tips what to do next ...) and my mom just started learning Python.
So they know prety well what it means to be a dev and have quite realistic image of what to expect.
To be fair, I am still the one who usualy fixes broken printers and replugs unplugged ethernet cables. but that is because I enjoy doing that. I take it as a challenge for myself to figure out what/how/when went something wrong. Most of the times I try to figure that even without touching the broken things.
Anyway, getting off topic.
Alltogether I don't think that they have too unrealistic expectations, but if I had to chose one, it'd be my learning capabilities. I can't learn complete java in 2 days ...

I think @dfox's and @trogus' ++'s should count double. Or quadruple. Or octuple.

This is about both worst boss and most annoying co-worker.

Well, this boss didn't care how much code we wrote, or how good it was (well, at least he didn't care that much); only how much commits we do. And this coworker literally did a script to do a commit every 10 minutes. 24/7. Everyone else was completely mad about it and about a week later we achieved that he was kicked from the job. Since then I still get trauma if someone commits something unimportant.

class Me(Person):
def day(self, mood):
self.morning()
self.job.start()
while True:
if self.job.time > 28800:
break
self.job.work()
self.job.end()
self.afternoon()
self.evening()

def morning(self):
self.say("Hello World!")
if mood == bad:
self.be_grumpy()
self.__super__.morning()

Neural network for playing Tetris.

Extract from a quite old recruiter email (excluding the formalities):

Position: junior dev
Workplace: office for first year, can be changed to remote after (salary will be 50% lower if you go remote though) *suspicion levels starts raising*
Payment: 1€ per line of code (empty lines/comments excluded) or page of documentation *alarms start ringing*
Additional info: on high alert for 4 weeks every 6 weeks *wtf is going on*, salary bonus is 10€ per week *I stopped reading here and moved the email directly to the spam folder*

> Comments are there only for you, please delete them before pushing your code.

I want to kill everyone who suggests that, slaughter them like animals!

Nice job algo

There was once this customer, which wanted a project done. It was for around 2/3 weeks of work. The arranged cost was 500€, but when I said how long I'll need, he said:
No. I need it done in 5 days. Every day over, I deduct 50€ from the payment.
I was out of the building in less than a minute.
Fuck this type of customers.

I actually enjoy fixing my family's/friends'/... computers/printers/phones/...

So I have seen this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/786219/... and I noticed that people said that they want to use the text for themselves. As you can't copy from the picture, here you go:
https://pastebin.com/zJnpSAHz

Finally at 3k!

There once approached me a client, with a request to be done. Here is a recap, with emphasis on time limits.

C: Ok, so we need this and this thing to be done that and that way...
*short talk about technical side of the project, unimportant to the rant*
C: Can it be done by 25th, this month? (It was 4th of the month)
M: No way, it'll take at least a week more, so realistically I'd say around 7th next month.
C (Had no option but to agree on the date)
*we arrange the price as well (was not a bad one at all)*

So I started working on the thing and one night, about a week or so in, I probably had a cup of tea too much, I suddenly have a breakthrough. I sat behind a computer from 22:00 till 17:00 next day, nonstop. I didn't even eat anything in the meantime. The project was far from done, but I did quite a lot of work. Anyhow, when I have completed the project, not only was I not over the deadline, it was 22nd of the month, so even before the wanted time! When I contacted the client and told him that I am done, he was ... let's just say very happy. The deployment went fine, but when I checked my bank account, for the payment, there was a surprise waiting for me. The number was 25% more than what we have arranged! Me, believing that it was a mistake, immediately messaged him about it and he responded:

No, this is just a small gift for you, because you finished that quickly.

(and not to forget, I have coded things for way less than those 25% and was completely fine with the price, so it was not a small amount)

I helped my friend today with debugging his code (he was using some obscure library and had troubles with it). After few hours, I asked him for the Github link to the lib's repo and when he went to grab it, he said:
Wait, there is an user manual!

Well, fuck you too...

I just did a code review on an old project of mine. 10k lines altogether. 5.7k TODO's. I can't even.

Describe one devRant member in the comments (not yourself)!

@trogus is designer that made devRant the beautiful place it is now. It is often overshadowed by @dfox, but without him, especially the beautiful avatars, this place wouldn't be half as popular as it is.

Custom router profile which allows only SO, documentations and similar sites.

I went camping for 10 days. Decided to finally listen to devRant podcast, so I downloaded all episodes to my headphones. Listened to all of them in first day. The only thing I can say is... When the fuck is the next one coming out? That shit is amazing! I can't wait!

Write every dev project (even the smallest ones) you have ever done on your CV. I once used an obscure Python module in a really small project, but they desperately needed someone w/ experience with it. It was the reason I got that job.

A friend of mine asked me if I could review his code. I said ok and immediately regretted it when he sent me 250 lines of .docx text. In PDF. So I couldn't even copy-paste it.

Dfox' and trogus' ++ should count double. Or even quadruple...

My programming mantra:

The problem is between keyboard and the chair.

56.49736% of all stats are way too exact and 75% of stats are made up on spot.

Trying to login with your office creds at home...