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Search - "born to fail"
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As a developer, sometimes you hammer away on some useless solo side project for a few weeks. Maybe a small game, a web interface for your home-built storage server, or an app to turn your living room lights on an off.
I often see these posts and graphs here about motivation, about a desire to conceive perfection. You want to create a self-hosted Spotify clone "but better", or you set out to make the best todo app for iOS ever written.
These rants and memes often highlight how you start with this incredible drive, how your code is perfectly clean when you begin. Then it all oscillates between states of panic and surprise, sweat, tears and euphoria, an end in a disillusioned stare at the tangled mess you created, to gather dust forever in some private repository.
Writing a physics engine from scratch was harder than you expected. You needed a lot of ugly code to get your admin panel working in Safari. Some other shiny idea came along, and you decided to bite, even though you feel a burning guilt about the ever growing pile of unfinished failures.
All I want to say is:
No time was lost.
This is how senior developers are born. You strengthen your brain, the calluses on your mind provide you with perseverance to solve problems. Even if (no, *especially* if) you gave up on your project.
Eventually, giving up is good, it's a sign of wisdom an flexibility to focus on the broader domain again.
One of the things I love about failures is how varied they tend to be, how they force you to start seeing overarching patterns.
You don't notice the things you take back from your failures, they slip back sticking to you, undetected.
You get intuitions for strengths and weaknesses in patterns. Whenever you're matching two sparse ordered indexed lists, there's this corner of your brain lighting up on how to do it efficiently. You realize it's not the ORMs which suck, it's the fundamental object-relational impedance mismatch existing in all languages which causes problems, and you feel your fingers tingling whenever you encounter its effects in the future, ready to dive in ever so slightly deeper.
You notice you can suddenly solve completely abstract data problems using the pathfinding logic from your failed game. You realize you can use vector calculations from your physics engine to compare similarities in psychological behavior. You never understood trigonometry in high school, but while building a a deficient robotic Arduino abomination it suddenly started making sense.
You're building intuitions, continuously. These intuitions are grooves which become deeper each time you encounter fundamental patterns. The more variation in environments and topics you expose yourself to, the more permanent these associations become.
Failure is inconsequential, failure even deserves respect, failure builds intuition about patterns. Every single epiphany about similarity in patterns is an incredible victory.
Please, for the love of code...
Start and fail as many projects as you can.30 -
I hate it when people don't understand that programmers are prone to depression just like anyone else in other professions.
And my blood literally boils when someone says "Stop overthinking". Like bro, overthinking is literally how I make a living.
If I stop thinking about how my code can fail, I no longer can make a living out of this. I'll be no better than a handicapped PTSD possessed war veteran.
Also, IMO, you're born with an overthinking mind. It's not learned or acquired from an influence. I wish I could stop overthinking, but I have to accept it's beyond my control and try to tame it best I can.
It just sucks. But it is what it is. I know my head is spitting words out at full capacity right now, which just leads to depressed thoughts, and it will calm itself right down after some time.13 -
The education system is a fucking joke. How do you get through all the required courses and get to the capstone course where your one goal is to build a simple prototype of a project(like a simple website) for a real world client and not know HTML or CSS when you spent a whole fuckboy semester on a class dedicated to HTML, css, JavaScript and the teacher gave you the PHP. Not only that but you can't even figure out how to use a simple google search to look up the documentation on any of these topics or even the easy to follow tutorials littering the internet on how to use Bootstrap which is what we're fucking using to make it faster to develop the core logic of our app but all you fucking want to do is take shortcuts and create a PowerPoint presentation in google slides and make an easy project look like shit and make me and yourselves look like shit. But don't fucking worry, I'll code the whole thing in a fucking night because you didn't do your part of taking care of just the front end and planned for your incompetence and lack of questions or help. I know you're busy looking for a job for after you graduate but you can't even answer a simple programming question. Let me give you the solution on how to reverse a string, cuz you don't remember c# but it literally takes 30 seconds to google the solution that is everywhere. My project team is why no one takes a degree from this university seriously.9
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Dogecoin hit USD $0.40 recently, which means it's time for the Crypto Rant.
TL;DR: Dogecoin is shit and is logically guaranteed to eventually fall unless it is fundamentally changed.
===========================
If you know how Crypto works under the hood, you can skip to the next section. If you don't, here's the general xyz-coin formula:
Money is sent via transactions, which are validated by *anybody*.
Since transactions are validated by anybody, the system needs to make sure you're not fucking it up on purpose.
The current idea (that most coins use today) is called proof-of-work. In short, you're given an extremely difficult task, and the general idea is you wouldn't be willing to do that work if you were just going to fuck up the system.
For validating these transactions, you are rewarded twofold:
1) You are given a fixed-size prize of the currency from the system itself. This is how new currency is introduced, or "minted" if you prefer.
2) You are given variable-size and user-determined prize called "transaction fees", but it could be more accurately called a "bribe" since it's sole purpose is to entice miners to add YOUR transaction to their block.
This system of validation and reward is called mining.
===========================
This smaller section compares the design o f BTC to Dogecoin - which will lead to my final argument
In BTC, the time between blocks (chunks of data which record transactions and are added to the chain, hence blockchain) is ten minutes. Every ten minutes, BTC transactions are validated and new Bitcoins are born.
In Dogecoin, the time between blocks is only one minute. In Theory, this means that mining Dogecoin is about ten times easier, because the system expects you to be able to solve the proof of work in an average of one minute.
The huge difference between BTC and Doge is the block reward (Fixed amount; new coins minted). The block reward for BTC is somewhat complicated compared to Doge: It started as 50 BTC per block and every 4 years it is halved ("the great halving"). Right now it's 6.25 BTC per block. Soon, the block reward will be almost nothing until BTC hits it's max of 21 million bitcoins "minted".
Dogecoin reward is 10,000 coins per block. And it will be that way for the end of time - no maximum, no great halving. And remember, for every 1 BTC block mined, 10 Doge blocks are mined.
===========================
Bitcoin and Dogecoin are now the two most popular coins in pop culture. What makes me angry is the widespread misunderstanding of the differences between the two. It is likely that most investors buy Dogecoin thinking they're getting in "early" because it's so cheap. They think it's cheap because it isn't as popular as Bitcoin yet. They're wrong. It's cheap because of what's outlined in section two of this rant.
Dogecoin is actually not very far off Bitcoin. Do the math: there's a bit over 100 billion Dogecoin in circulation (130b). There's about 20 million BTC. Calculate their total CURRENT values:
130b * $0.40 = 52b
20m * $60k = 1.2t
...and Doge is rising much, much faster than BTC because of the aforementioned lack of understanding.
The most common thing I hear about Doge is that "nobody expects it to reach Bitcoin levels" (referring to being worth 60k a fucking coin). They don't realize that if Doge gets to be worth just $10 a coin, it will not just reach Bitcoin levels but overtake Bitcoin in value ($1.3T).
===========================
It's worth highlighting that Dogecoin is literally designed to fail. Since it lacks a cap on new coins being introduced, it's just simple math that no matter how much Doge rises, it will eventually be worthless. And it won't take centuries, remember that 100k new Doge are mined EVERY TEN MINUTES. 1,440 minutes in a day * 10K per minute is 14.4 million new coins per day. That's damn near every Bitcoin to ever exist mined every day in Dogecoin10 -
A bug is born
... and it's sneaky and slimy. Mr. Senior-been-doing-it-for-ears commits some half-assed shitty code, blames failed tests on availability of CI licenses. I decided to check what's causing this shit nevertheless, turns out he forgot to flag parts of the code consistently using his new compiler defines, and some parts would get compiled while others needed wouldn't .. Not a big deal, we all make mistakes, but he rushes to Teams chat directing a message to me (after some earlier non-sensible argument about merits of cherry picking vs re-base):
Now all tests pass, except ones that need CI license. The PR is done, you can use your preferred way to take my changes.
So after I spot those missing checks causing the tests to fail, as well as another bug in yet another test case, and yet another disastrous memory related bug, which weren't detected by the tests of course .. I ponder my options .. especially based on our history .. if I say anything he will get offended, or at best the PR will get delayed while he is in denial arguing back even longer and dependent tasks will get delayed and the rest of the team will be forced to watch this show in agony, he also just created a bottleneck putting so many things at stake in one PR ..
I am in a pickle here .. should I just put review comments and risk opening a can of worms, or should I just mention the very obvious bugs, or even should I do nothing .. I end up reaching for the PM and explained the situation. In complete denial, he still believes it's a license problem and goes on ranting about how another project suffering the same fate .. bla bla bla chipset ... bla bla bla project .. bla bla bla back in whatever team .. then only when I started telling him:
These issues are even spotted by "Bob" earlier, since for some reason you just dismissed whatever I just said ..
("Bob" is another more sane senior developer in the team, and speaks the same language as the PM)
Only now I get his attention! He then starts going through the issues with me (for some reason he thinks he is technical enough to get them) .. He now to some extent believes the first few obvious bugs .. now the more disastrous bug he is having really hard time wrapping his head around it .. Then the desperate I became, I suggest let's just get this PR merged for the sake of the other tasks after may be fixing the obvious issues and meanwhile we create another task to fix the bug later .. here he chips in:
You know what, that memory bug seems like a corner case, if it won't cause issues down the road after merging let's see if we need even to open an internal fix or defect for it later. Only customers can report bugs.
I am in awe how low the bar can get, I try again and suggest let's at least leave a comment for the next poor soul running into that bug so they won't be banging their heads in the wall 2hrs straight trying to figure out why store X isn't there unless you call something last or never call it or shit like that (the sneaky slimy nature of that memory bug) .. He even dismissed that and rather went on saying (almost literally again): It is just that Mr. Senior had to rush things and communication can be problematic sometimes .. (bla bla bla) back in "Sunken Ship Co." days, we had a team from open source community .. then he makes a very weird statement:
Stuff like what Richard Stallman writes in Linux kernel code reviews can offend people ..
Feeling too grossed and having weird taste in my mouth I only get in a bad hangover day, all sorts of swear words and profanity running in my head like a wild hungry squirrel on hot asphalt chasing a leaky chestnut transport ... I tell him whatever floats your boat but I just feel really sorry for whoever might have to deal with this bug in the future ..
I just witnessed the team giving birth to a sneaky slimy bug .. heard it screaming and saw it kicking .. and I might live enough to see it a grown up having a feast with other bug buddies in this stinky swamp of Uruk-hai piss and Orcs feces.1 -
Other team lead: Hi DevOps Team, We need you to deploy this app to production. It's maintainers gave up on it in 2019, but we looked at it and it feels right.
Me: Uhm. That's not going to work. It'll fail the security scan before you can even finish the build in CI.
Other team lead: Yeah, this app is the right thing to do, and we needed it last week, but since that won't work, we'll just use this other very very infant technology that was just born yesterday. It's not stable in production, or on MySQL, or in AWS at all, but it's the other direction we can to go.
Me: What problem are you trying to solve in the first place?
Other team lead: Oh, we need access to the read from the production database.2 -
After 3 weeks of being interviewed on upwork she replied today and told me
"Sorry, the only reason we cant hire you is because the client wants only EU passport devs"
.....
Is this my fault? How is this my fault? EVERY FUCKING TIME WHEN I TRY TO SUCCEED AT ANYTHING LIFE JUST FORCEFULLY REJECTS ME FROM SUCCEEDING AND IT IS ALWAYS BECAUSE OF THE LUCK THAT I DONT HAVE. HOW IS IT MY FAULT FOR BEING BORN IN A GARBAGE BULLSHIT PIECE OF SHIT COUNTRY AND IMMEDIATELY HAVE HUGE DISADVANTAGE IN LIFE? HOW IS THAT FUCKING FAIR??? WHY DO YOU GIVE A FUCK FROM POLITICAL REGIONS WHERE I AM BORN IF I CAN DO THE DEV JOB RIGHT????? WHST RHE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING LOW LIFE ABOUT IF I ***NEED*** LUCK TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL. NO MATTER HOW SKILLED OR HARD YOU TRY YOU WILL ALWAYS APPARENTLY FAIL IF YOU ARE MISSING ***LUCK***13 -
As i was shitting on toilet I realized something very important. This could be THE answer.
The question: what is the formula for achieving success? I realized this must be THE ultimate answer:
Money + connections + luck >= success
Why?
MONEY:
You must have money to make more money.
CONNECTIONS:
Some average joe can tell his friend Cockty to phone call his friend Dickson who's a good friend with Cumston to message his millionaire friend Asslicker who is gonna help the average joe succeed.
LUCK:
No matter what you do or how hard you work, how many achievements you have or degrees, you can spend 10 million dollars on a project -- and still fail because you're not lucky.
Let's calculate this probability:
have = 1
missing = -1
money = 0
connections = 0
luck = 0
success = 1
money + connections + luck >= success
Case 1 (have everything):
have + have + have >= success
1 + 1 + 1 >= 1
3 >= 1 ✅
Case 2 (no money):
missing + have + have >= success
-1 + 1 + 1 >= 1
1 >= 1 ✅
Case 3 (no connections):
have + missing + have >= success
1 - 1 + 1 >= 1
1 >= 1 ✅
Case 4 (no luck):
have + have + missing >= success
1 + 1 - 1 >= 1
1 >= 1 ✅
Case 5 (no money, no connections):
missing + missing + have >= success
-1 - 1 + 1 >= 1
-1 >= 1 ❌
Case 6 (no money, no luck):
missing + have + missing >= success
-1 + 1 - 1 >= 1
-1 >= 1 ❌
Case 7 (no connections, no luck):
have + missing + missing >= success
1 - 1 - 1 >= 1
-1 >= 1 ❌
Case 8 (no money, no connections, no luck):
missing + missing + missing >= success
-1 - 1 - 1 >= 1
-3 >= 1 ❌
We have: 4 possible outcomes that we want, k=4
Out of total: 8 possible combinations, n=8
Probability of achieving success using this formula is: P(A) = k/n = 4/8= 0.5 * 100% = 50% chance of being successful in this shit life
This is correct in theory. HOWEVER:
Case 1: someone having
- a lot of money
- a lot of connections
- a lot of luck
In practicality is damn near IMPOSSIBLE
Maybe 1 in 100 million people are born like this. That's 100,000,000 people / 8,000,000,000 people = 0.0125 * 100% = 1.25% of people are this blessed and gifted in life. This might be even less so we can ignore this probability as a possible outcome and average it out to realistic average joe daily life.
Therefore giving us a total of 7 combinations, 3 possibilities to succeed in this shit life
So: k/n = 3/7 = 0.4285 * 100% = 42.85% chance to be successful in this shit life
Mathematically proven how life is pure trash
Funny enough we can round it to 42%. And 42 is the answer to life, universe and everything in existence4 -
doing an assignment.
me, thinking to myself: "why the heck everybody pastes over an nginx config when they want to script switching the autoindex on or off?
thats not linux at all you sed the fucker that's how its done...", feeling all smart
> type it
> test it
looking fine, as always. im born for this shit
> run it
>restart nginx
restart fails.
i check if i didnt sed any whitespaces, everything seems fine
>restart nginx
fail again.
look closer
.
.
.
.
4 lines below intended target: "locatioff" lmfao3