New guy gets a task: "Add a thing to the thing". One liner. Simple enough.

Commits code written by chatGPT to an unrelated branch, proudly screenshots the resulting screen and posts to work chat - "My first task!! What is next?"

I don't think I want to work in this field anymore.

@cloud providers

Y'all ever have a project that's going great until you get about 80% in then the client starts getting all clienty?

Enjoy! 😉

I work with idiots.

That is all.

We have in our company an 8 GB Ram Intel MacBook Pro that they give to any new Mobile developers and is always returned bc the ram is not enough.

You’d have thought they understood after 3 years. But I just found out they still do it lol.

Could the all of the Tencent cloud kindly please fuck off back to China?

Those assholes don't even publish their IP ranges so one could easily block their ass.

Had to rely on external tools and hunt down all of their different ASNs to finally block them from overloading a client's webapp...

Ugh, I need a beer.

node modules real meaning.

I didn't become a developer to be legacy's bitch. But we're all legacy's bitch.

I want to roam free. I want to piss in the rain and sing at strlen. I don't want to be in corporate meetings anymore.

I don't want to contort my ideas and good intentions to fit legacy's ugly painting.

I want to be free.

Please let coding be fun again.

I process more tickets than a brothel car park ticket machine

Just made this for my new project

Is devRant Losing Its Spark?

Hey ranters,
Anyone else notice how quiet devRant has become? Back in 2016-2017, this place was buzzing with energy, but now it’s down to just 10-12 rants a week. What happened? Did competition from platforms like Reddit or Discord take over, or did devRant stop evolving?

I still believe this platform has huge potential—developers will always need a space to vent and connect. But without fresh ideas or a clear roadmap, it feels like devRant is fading.

To the creators: what’s the plan? To the community: do you feel the same? Let’s discuss!

A concerned dev.

So a little while back, my location was officially switched from "Specific Office Location" to "Home Office", i.e. I was finally _officially_ full-time WFH. The other day, I had to visit one of our physical offices for the first time in years. What I didn't realise until that point was that I HAVE to work from home: I have to access a specific VPN in the US to do my work, but you can't connect to any VPNs from within our office.

Genius.

🤦🏻‍♂️

Git Blame before git was invented:

To the person that put the washing machine on at 4am, who hurt you? Coz I'm gonna be added to that list.

Open letter to any website that is trying to implement "smooth scrolling" on their website using JavaScript: stop, consider how awful it is 100% of the time, and kill yourself please.

What is it about long winded articles for a two second one click solution?

A quick search to find out how to change the control panel to classic view in windows 7. (because I forgot and the windows Operating system is no longer intuitive and Dev-friendly).

Search engine: (Insert hundreds of articles here!)

Solution: Click on large Icons where it says "View by".

Search engine: (Enjoy sifting through this pile of results written by thousands of gas-bags, you looser!).

Rocking back 'n forward sitting in the corner of the room holding my legs against my chest: "Shut up, I forgot okay!"

Why would it not just Say "Classic view"?

Spent 3 hours not understanding why the exact same procedure on Linux worked while not in windows. Ended up installing Linux on the windows computer.

don't hack hungry, guys

Fuckdev: I heard people were having meltdowns in certain more political corners of the interwebz, you figure out why, and so I went to read a little bit to see what was going on.

Truth be told, I did not expect this wild mask-off type shit, but it's interesting nonetheless. Malcolm X was proven right once again. I mean el Hajj Malek el Shabazz, dude. These bitches are indeed like foxes, showing their teeth but pretending to smile.

I'd feel bad for the poor fucks, hadn't they come out swinging against immigrants with a copy of Mein Kampf. Not so disgusted by the dextral folks, then? Sinister!

Anyway, having bore witness to such undeniable proof of their conceited wickedness, which makes them more than ever indistinguishable from what they merely *claim* to oppose, I am now at ease for thinking that the B-52 bomber with pride flag meme was kinda funny.

Ads are intentionally produced litter.

Enough weaponised ADHD and ASD and I can do anything. As long as it's interesting. And doesn't take very long. And doesn't require dealing with people.

Congrats @retoor on hitting 10K !!

Foxes are trans. They’re dogs with cat firmware who thus identify and behave like cats

New developers(5-6 years experience) these days are so pathetic. They dont have any sense of code review. All they want is to put their opinion out without giving any thought.

I had a PR for review today which contains mock specification to match a regular expression and return the corresponding response

The regular expression I put was

104000(02|06|20|48)

Now, this guy comes and puts a comment that we could "simplify" as 104000\d{2}

I replied, the ending digits are not contiguous. The specific pair of digits have to match for these mocks.

Then this guy replied, then we could simplify as 104(0{4}(2|6)l0{3}(20|48)).

I said, I cannot understand how that is simplification. Why do we need such a complex regex to match something very straight forward.

And the guy replied, we should be writing proper regexes, otherwise we could just specify everything explicitly.

I was like WTF man. You try deciphering this next week without taking at least a minute to know which values are matched.

Anyhow, another senior person approved my PR, and I merged it.

!dev

There’s this person at $work who never uses punctuation of any kind. She has mental issues and insists on neutral pronouns (and strongly advertises these) so I’ll use the indefinite to pretend to be respectful. It has multiple thoughts while typing a message and just keeps typing through all of them without stopping. It pauses not to collect its thoughts, to edit for clarity or to fix mistakes, to separate anything (including disjoint topics), to summarize, etc. (Though calling these “thoughts” is a huge stretch, given its lack of propensity for that particular subject.) It’s as if it has zero distinction between writing and speaking, and simply lets the mental diarrhea flow while their fingers do their best to keep pace. Reading these trainwrecks of thought — and gleaning any useful information from them — is always difficult and a little bit painful.

It is also in charge of IT security, which is more than a bit worrying. (But I hate the company with a passion, so it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it otherwise would.)

So, when hovering on that element in the bottom task bar in Windows 11, it shows those two icons (wifi and sound) grouped together.

Left click anywhere on that button and it opens the same menu.

But if you right click, now it suddenly depends if your cursor was on the one or on the other icon. It opens different menus!

Great UX! Good job, MS!

How to ensure only adults can see content, thats right, add opening hours 😄

There's a group of people at my work who have mean girls syndrome.

They think they're cool, but they're actually pretty lame. I'm loving it whenever a junior comes to me because they're fed up with these morons.

Don't get me wrong, I can't do fuckall, but I love to sit and watch the world burn. Hell, I'm waiting for end of contract to get away from this hellhole of a job, this shitty small town and its close-minded people.

Only 1000 files remaining to finish reviewing this PR. I'm almost there!

Caffeine meets every criteria for being a drug:
- Alters mental state
- Addictive
- Has withdrawal symptoms
- Tolerance increases with time

If you rely on caffeine to function, statistically, you spend the majority of your waking life in caffeine crush, longing for more and more caffeine to just function normally.

Face it: you’re a drug addict. Caffeine being legal doesn’t mean it’s not a drug.

I don’t do caffeine at all. I don’t drink sodas that have caffeine, I don’t drink tea either. That’s why I’m always full of energy. Yes, caffeine withdrawal gave me a week of terrible headaches, but I pushed through, and now my life is completely transformed.