*Reinstalls devrant
*Double taps some rants
DevRant: Dood did you know that you can DOUBLE TAP rants to updoot!?!

Classic

Night coding > day coding

😂😂😂😂😂😂

just a reminder, rants have a 'favorite' button!

its great how we can have a separate list for rants we find especially better than the rest!

plus, i like to look through other people's favorites sometimes.

In few hours I was with client showing his website after long time coding and designing.

Client: I think this is it, here your final $$

Me: Me thanks sir and bye

A guy came in.

Client: Oh! Wait, this guy is our it expert let see if he have any advise.

Me: Oops! Okay

Guy: So this website will showcase our products

Me: Yes,

Guy: What about security because I just got news that Russian hacked one big company.

Me: I don’t think Russian have time to hack your one page website

Out of the door...

Pretending you know a programming language because you've written a Hello World in it is just like pretending you know a real-world language because you know how to say "Hello" in it.

Thank you makers

Android Studio the great 😂

The use of git and understanding/working with foreign keys and performing (including the understanding) JOIN queries.

Also, it took me years and to understand OOP.

When think back to my code from before that, my brain spontaneously starts bleeding.

Being the youngest of all (17yo)

Our database teacher pronounces "node" as "nude"

Hilarity ensues.

one of our computers at work suddenly shut down. our boss panicked like it was the end of the world cause he knew we couldnt buy a new one and we desperately need the computer. when i came in he started telling me he's gonna pay me extra if i fix the computer

me: *checks cpu and finds out it was unplugged* u sure bout that?
him: hell yea, id rather pay u that buy a new one

*30 mins later*

me: *plugs it back in and pushes power button* its done

>> guess who's got extra money without any extra efforts yay

My stressball went on vacation

Javascript is wild

Any College professors shorter than 5 feet 5 inch should be known as microprofessors.

I hope you will forgive me for a third hand story, but I'm one of those evil developers, not a support per se. But I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway. So this happened to a colleague of a colleague:

$Hero - our hero. $Cop - A representative of our hard worked law enforcement agency.

So $Hero is happily speeding along in his car, running a few yellow lights a bit late, etc. Finally, the law catches up to him and pulls him over. Here's how the conversation went:

$Cop: Can I see your driving license, please?

$Hero (with smug grin): Certainly. Here it is, officer.

$Cop takes license back to motorcycle and speaks into radio.

$Hero: It's not going to help you any, though.

$Cop (with no reaction): What do you mean?

$Hero (with wider grin): The server you have to check it against is down.

$Cop (still no reaction): And why do you say that?

$Hero: Because I'm the guy they called to get on site and get it up again.

Our hero did not get a fine this time. Instead he got a police escort to his workplace.

Source: reddit r/talesfromtechsupport

‘The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

My sticker ripped, and it became Canadian

Told us to use facebook or google drive to share code instead of git

Q:Why is this book so long?
A:Its mostly white spaces

bad code that works 👍

source: reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/

......

!rant
WinRAR And The Infinite 40-Day Trial
https://youtube.com/watch/...

Today I finally found out, what's real 64GB/s speed. My vacuum cleaner ate my flashdisk.

It worked the first time!

Making a contest site for a client. It's 2 parts, a static part and then a "hub" where the contest actually takes part. I did most of the static part, and uploaded it to show her. She likes it, but wants to be able to change the content automatically without having to talk to me. Ok, I think. The harder part is the contest site, so she's not gonna run away with my code. I give her access to the ftp and teach her what to do.

To my amazement she takes a liking to html. And starts adding some (super simple) tags. They ruin some of my designs but they look fine. Whatever.

Today she messages me saying that the top picture is off. Hmm, I'll check it out. Turns out almost the entire page is ruined. What's even worse is that she inserted a link to a facebook image she has on top of everything, a picture I don't have access to, and yet she's refusing to admit that it was her mistake. It's not even wrapped in an img tag, it's just pure text!!!

Fine. I'll revert to the version I had. No! cz apparently I can't undo all the changes she's worked hard on. So now I have to go through all the markup and check what's causing this -- and I hate frontend!!!

Worst part of this all? She can't fucking be bothered to type out what her whore infested lying mouth wants to say. She has to send me voicenotes, a few minutes long, filled with uhhh ummm let me think, because that brain who thought learning to write <br/> and <em> is bad ass can't FUCKING formulate a thought before sending it. She has to have me stop my music, and stop my concentration just so she can tell me maybe she pasted it by mistake IN A 5 MINUTE VOICE NOTE. tbh the money isn't even that good. I don't know why I'm still here.

PS: it's not missing an include. I checked.

As a Java Dev, the thing that frightens me most about colonizing Mars is that we have to rewrite the Date class...