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Client : pls put the disclaimer that the site uses cookies.
Me: but we don't use cookies this is a static page
Client: Still, the pop up makes the site look more professional, kindly add the feature asap
Me: :/22 -
Screw Emojis!!
Client asks how many days will it take to implement feature XYZ.
I say 3 days. But Skype had other plans.
23 -
Stupidest client ever:
I once had a client that requested me a new website, all went well and get paid.
After a month our two, he called and requested a change on basically all pages. I sent him a estimate of 2h, he approved, signed a contract and I've made the changes. He never paid me that changes. After 2 months ignoring my calls and emails I've rollback to the pre-changes website. He called me anything you can think off and that I would be sorry for done that... I was like... WTF??
- Pay me and I'll put the changes online.
He replied:
- you will be sorry. See you in court.
We went to court because of FUCKING 200€...
Court decision? The client was obligated to pay me the 200€ and all the court expenses...22 -
~During app demo to our client~
- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙
13 -
Client: This new feature is not working on Internet Explorer.
Me: Do you have enough oxygen in the cave you are living in?7 -
This happened few hours ago.
Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.12 -
Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"
I'll never forget the words of the client:
"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."
*insert you dense mf meme here*20 -
A client wanted me to make a website that compared the users face to that of a wrestler. We had done a lot of work, but now he wants to switch it...
to pornstars.
So, I guess the next week of my work is gonna be scraping porn websites. NSFW, for work.23 -
Client: About this QR code for my website, can we change it?
Me: Well we could redirect, but what's wrong with it?
Client: I just dont like the pattern, it's too noisy...
Me: 🙃8 -
First time I heard a client say: "You've done a phenomenal job, but you've over-delivered. You should have come to me. We could have worked it out." after we had to ask for an extension.
That's a keeper.1 -
Client: Urgent! App is crashing!
Me inside: Wtf, Crashlytics didn’t send me anything, it betrayed me...
Me: What’s wrong?
Client: Some random user sent me email that app is crashing SOMEWHERE(!?)
Me: ................................... no problem, I’m working on it.
*Tomorrow*
Me: Fixed, everything works fine now (didn’t do anything actually)
Client: Great, nice work!
Client never mentioned that “problem “ anymore.
#likeaboss4 -
Client: "This feature doesn't work! I thought you said it was done?!"
Me: "Please press CTRL+F5 and try again..."
Client: "Okay, great, works now."
A conversation I seem to have on a very regular basis.8 -
Clients love to use the word "Broken" (or synonymous word).
Client: The program is broken. Fix it ASAP.
Me: Ok, give me some details so I can help you.
Client: No, fix it. *Becomes an ass*
Me: Alrighty then, let me sit here doing nothing for a couple of hours. Then say that I tested the code against your original request, and it's working as intended.
Client: Sounds good.
(Pretty sure that's how it went)2 -
Other people : she said yes :') :')
Me: the client accepted the first draft without asking for changes :') :')2 -
[dev vs client]
- What's your screen resolution?
- 100%
- What's your browser?
- I use internet and sometimes Google.6 -
Client: "Happy New Year 2018! Wish you a very successful and productive happy new year :)"
Me: "Oh Thank you! I wish you...."
Client: "Any update on the feature I have requested?"
Me: "Ah yes. I would love you give you an update. By the way, Happy n...."
Client: "Do you think the it can be released before midnight?"
I stopped replying. Fuck everyone and everything.
Happy New Year to everyone here.3 -
##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !
Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*
Client : no, this is not the right way
Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..
Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..
Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways13 -
Something that I'm utterly ashamed of.
Had to add text message and call communication functionality in one of the products.
Boss shrunk the deadline to two days ETA.
Didn't know jackshit about twilio.
Meeting with client:
Client - So the communication thing is done right?
Me - Yyeahhh
Client - Let's try it then. *Calls himself*
Me - *Calls the API directly from my phone*
Client got out happy. Nobody knows what actually happened there. I didn't even talk to my colleagues about this. Boss gave me bonus to pull of the impossible. I added the feature after a week of the incident.8 -
Boss: "I know we just finished the first part of Client A's project but they also want this extra work done that wasn't in the contract."
Me: "Can't do it without pushing back Client B's work"
Boss: "Well we don't want that. We need to hit that deadline."
Me: "Cool"
Boss: "But Client A was really hoping this new feature which wasn't in the scope would be in."
Me: "Then we're pushing back Client B's work"
<<loop continues >>5 -
Requirements vs Delivery - Guide to Programming
This one is a killer and I've received it in multiple forwards in office email, and we always have a good laugh seeing this joke.
Client: “Our next requirement, and this is something big you know, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”
Client: No, we need an elephant only, let me explain our current process……” (client explains for an hour)
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…
Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”
Requirements are taken as follows:
Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!
At the Offshore Development Centre,
Design/Development – Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.
Finally the customization is shown to client:
2 -
Me: *laying in bed because I have a day off*
Client: *slides in* Do you have time for our lord and savior "bugs in production"
Me: *screams*3 -
Problems of Freelancer
Freelancer: Hey your app is ready.
Client : Can you add this ?
Freelancer: Sure, When am I getting payment.
Client: As soon as this gets done.
Next Day...
Freelancer: Hey your app is ready.
Client : Thanks. This looks good if there is this feature. Can you help me with that?
Freelancer: Sure, When am I getting payment.
Client: As soon as this gets done
Next Day..
Client : Blah Blah Blah
Freelancer: Sure, When am I getting payment
Frustration at peaks!!!10 -
Me: you should not open that log file in excel its almost 700mb
Client: its okay, my computer has 4gb ram
Me: *looking at clients computer crashing*
Client: the file is broken!
Me: no, you just need to use a more memory efficient tool, like R, SAS, python, C#, or like anything else!5 -
Me: What do you want?
Client: We don't know exactly
Me: By when do you want it?
Client: Yesterday
🙊🙉🙈7 -
Client: I have lost everything on the cloud holy crap!
Me: Are you signed into your google drive, and within the folder?
Client: No, how do i do that again? I obviously cant be bothered reading your well formated and instructional guide and would rather contact you at 6pm on a saturday night8 -
Clint want custom CMS with php,
*makes custom CMS with php
Client thinks it's not php coz it looks pretty.
*shows php code
client still not convinced it's php8 -
❎ Client not paid?
✅ Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until their site completely fades away2 -
This is exactly what happens when your client ask for something impossible you you still have to find a hack
13 -
Dev: What do you think of the new version of the app?
Client: It’s great! We just have a couple notes of feedback we are working on compiling. We should have those to you by next week.
*Next week*
Client: We need another week to compile all of this feed back we are generating
*Another week goes by*
Client: Still working on it, it’s going to be a really thorough review when you get it though. No stone will be left unturned!
*2 weeks later*
Client: Here it is!
Attached: A word document with a single line of text “can’t nobody log in” next to a picture of the login screen with a red circle drawn around the login button
Client: Can you hurry up and action our feedback? We want to go live next week
Dev: …9 -
Client: We need these book genres added to the website ASAP!
PM: Hey dev, its priority #1, please add these genres ASAP!
Dev: Okay, can I get a file which needs to be imported?
Client: Oh we will have that in couple of weeks.
Dev: Okay so write me in couple of weeks.
Client: What kind of company is this? Outrageous!!!5 -
A story of the backend dev. from our client:
"I used !important once now I'm not allowed to do frontend anymore :("17 -
Fuck stupid client.
Sorry:
Boss: client want to white label the solution.
Me: ok. They just need to create A record and send as SSL certificate and I will do it.
Client : here is your SSL certificate.
Me: spend whole night to make the transfer and setup server and check whole solutions one by one for reference to our company.
Next day wake around 2 pm to 100 whatsapp message, call from client and noss.
Turns out client IT team revoked the certificate without informing and the product stop working for all people.
Me: go to back to sleep.7 -
Me: Whats the deadline?
Client: Asap
Me: And when are we getting paid?
Client: 30 days after you give us the invoice ☺13 -
Client: Why doesn't this process work?
Me: For the exact fucking reasons I said it wasn't fucking possible like three fucking times in two separate fucking meetings you fucking retard.8 -
I made an automatization bot for a big company from my town (freelance). Today I had to shut it down because I've been waiting 3 weeks for my payment (they only had 5 days after finishing development to pay)
Fuck the fucking client, fuck this fucking shit7 -
Client: Do you know how to make this WordPress faster?
Me: yup.
* 30 minutes later*
Me: *googles* "How to make WordPress faster"7 -
Today I asked my client to do "ctrl+f5" to empty browser cache he literally did "ctrl+f+5" and said "it did nothing"6
-
Client: hey are you home yet.
Me: no. I won't be for another hour.
Client: so who's logged into your PlayStation account?
Me: ....10 -
Client: There’s a bug in the app
Developer: How do I reproduce it?
Client: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!
Developer:🤐🤐🤐5 -
Stupid annoying client want me to add 2 new fields on a form. Ok I said, my estimation is that I need 2 days to make the changes on form, database and all the scripts that posting and getting data, plus testing. His reply was, come one do you really want 48 hours to just add 2 fields, its sooo easy!!!! WTF dude... if it is sooo easy why are you fucking bother me??? Do it your self!!!!8
-
Here's how a client does "double murder"
-----------------------------
Client to designer: So you can make it run on IE 6,7,8 right?
---------------------------------
Turns to a web Dev who just mastered Node, React, angular: What if user disables JavaScript? It'll still work right?5 -
Guys I think I found the ideal client
(This was messaged in the groupchat with all 3 devs working on his project)
1 -
Client: Only an question: do you have a service to optimize my php skripts ?
Me: What kind of script are you referring and what kind of framework?
Client: Yes2 -
Client: My email not working
Me: What error message you getting
Client: Nothing, it's just stuck on Outbook
Me: Is your Internet working?
Client: Yes, of cause am not that stupid
Me: No! No! just asking as checkup
Client: Okay
Me: Open your Internet Browser and goto Google or Facebook
Client: Okay hold on..I am getting message "There is no Internet Connection"
Me: Yea, your Internet is not working that's why email can't be send. Talk to your IT Guy or Internet Provider about it.
Client: Okay, thanks!3 -
Client: "I have a problem."
Me: "No problem, can you say me the error message? "
Client: "No I have clicked the message Away... "
Me: 😣🤐5 -
This morning, a client called the office in anger because something wasn't working. The programmer who picked up the phone kindly tried to explain that he wasn't in charge and couldn't do anything at that moment. A few hours later, the client called back apologizing to that developer! We were all sitting there like 'wft just happened'5
-
Client: We need a news app.
Me: Sure, tell me more about it.
Client: Yeah, have you used Daily Hunt, I want that! Just in different colors.
Me: ...6 -
Client: I want you to build me something, I'm not sure jet what is is exactly but it is supposed to be round and be able to fit on a car.
Me: you mean a wheel ?
Client: noooo, this is completely different and original idea like none has ever had.3 -
watched a client use IE, all the while they didn't use tabs or even a new window, every time we had to go back to a previous site they had to Google the URL then click the search link
3 -
Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..
Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.
Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡
See the developer!!!
3 -
Client: it's not working
Me: clear your cache
Client: what's that
Me:it's a way of cleaning the files of your computer to get new ones.
Client: I cleaned my mac
I mean she literally got cleaning wipes ... and cleaned her computer
P.s I told her all this before and how to many, many times
2 -
A client obsessed with *security* won’t give us access to the server that hosts the website we built.
Code release involves building templates, compressing the changed files into a zip folder, and emailing them to the client with instructions on where the changed files go8 -
Client: Google analytics is saying our bounce rate is 86%, Could you fix what you did to improve this?
It's a single page website -.-4 -
Client: Half of our barcodes aren't being recognized. Can you tell why?
Me: Ok, I will look at the problem... Open the imagens of the failed barcodes and see that all of them have a stamp over the barcode...
What I have done wrong to deserve this...3 -
After working late to complete a "required" feature, to have the client change their mind the next morning.
1 -
I'll point names today
Boss: Quick! The Xero integration is not working anymore!
Xero Documentation: place your client secret in the HEADERS
Me: * places client secret in headers *
Xero API: Bad Request!
Me:
*re-reads documentation*
*creates new client secret*
*1 hour of trying*
Hmmmm
* places client secret in request body, not in headers *
Xero API: Ok!
UPDATE YOUR DOCUMENTATION
TELL US ABOUT IT IN THE CHANGELOGS5 -
Yes, Mr. Client. It is extremely wise of you to demand changes on release-day. Of course it won't go smoothly, untested and buggy as it will be.
-
The best part of dev life is when I create a prototype and the client immedietly says: "Excellent!"4
-
Potential Client Project:
"HIPAA compliant WordPress website"
Me: Can you tell me more about the website you're trying to publish?
Client: Site for uploading patient medical test results
Me: 🤦♂️ Fuuuuuuck. Sorry, you're on your own.
WORDPRESS?!?!8 -
During a meeting with the client
Client: I don't care how long it takes to complete the app, I want the app to be polished and give the users the best experience!
Us: Got it.
*Later that day*
Client: *wants to implement a new feature in the app*
Us: It'll take us a day or two.
Client: That long?! I need to get it to the market ASAP!
Us:.......
:D -
That moment when you listen to your boss' lies to a client when presenting a new product/feature.
I am like: damn, this guy is a talented actor!3 -
Worked for this client until 4 o'clock at night because they needed that to be done overnight.
For two weeks they are responding slowly like a turtle. No forecast of payment yet.
May God burn them in the worst part of the hell3 -
Just saw an upwork offer.
The client wants the dev to put all pages into one page.
"That sounds easy" I thought.
But it turns out that the total amount of pages to put into a single page is 904625697166532776746648320380374280100293470930272690489102837043110636675.
HOLY CRAP! EVEN IF I PUT THAT MASSIVE BLOCK INTO A SINGLE PAGE, YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO OPEN IT! THERE IS NO SUCH POWERFUL MACHINE OR EVEN A SOFTWARE THAT CAN MANAGE TO OPEN IT!
14 -
Our client is so stupid that they are currently paying for 9 devs to sit on their asses doing basically nothing just so they can guarantee that said devs will be available just in case they need something changed at the last minute.6
-
Client be like: I need a simple app. Should take only one week.
App: I need a Facebook clone will all functionality. :)
Estimated budget: 20$4 -
Here is a preview of my Python devRant client
The client supports both CLI and GUI modes.
This is the CLI mode using the rant command.
CLI mode currently supports dynamic importing of custom commands (and creating your own command is documented already too).
If you do not like my rant command? Download or make another one.
Also, the command execution, import, and registration process all send events to the application object. This is in preparation for allowing mods!
Unfortunately, emojis are technically 2-width, so they totally fuck up the box I draw around the rant. Lots of work to do, but I was pleased with my first visual payoff today.
12 -
I get a call from a client at 7 PM:
- Client: We have a business partner that just visited the website you just made for us and he said it was absolutely terrible, things are not showing up, layout is all messed up... *sends photo*. This is a VERY important new business partner and this will affect our relationship and image. Fix it NOW!
- Me: ok? I will check ... *proceed to check on several browsers and versions*
- Me: I checked on all modern browsers, cleaned cache, tried from multiple devices, it seems to be fine. What browser is your partner visiting the site from?
- Client: Idk, let me ask ...
- Client: Internet Explorer
- Me: ... that browser is not even supported anymore wth?!
- Client: We need it fixed!
- Me: ... *proceeds and hacks for IE website until 6 AM*6 -
Client: Everything is perfect but few small changes to be done.
Me: Wow, that will be easy.
*Client lists 100 points*
Client : Those are small changes. I guess it will be done in a day.
* Yeah sure I am Superman * :/2 -
Client(over the phone):- I want an Android app where there job seekers and recruiters.
Me:- sounds reasonable enough, ok
Client:-i want job seekers to apply for the job and recruiters to post the job.
Me(gets a bad feeling);- doable ok.
Client:- and I want an admin user who can see all the users and do everything.
Me(yup there it is):- what do you mean by everything?
Client :- you know everything, talk to recruiters talk to see everyone using the app, you know everything.
Me :- no I don't know this "everything" that you speak of, tell me more, what screens (activity) should that have and stuff.
Client (getting irritated):- everything the admin user usually does.
Me(yare yare daze):- i will show number of users in a graph.
I have a feeling this is not over yet7 -
Designer sends me mock up. I send out to client to review before we start to develop. (Mock up has lorem ipsum for paragraph text in one spot) A few minutes later client calls freaking out "Why is my whole site in Spanish, I don't speak Spanish!"7
-
Outlook is the shittiest mail client ever .. whenever I develop an email template it comes nicely to any other email clients... except for this shit which ruins everything..5
-
Supposed to get paid from a project. After all the hard work I submitted the project and this is what the client says:
"Thanks"
😕8 -
Yesterday, I finished the front-end of a project for a client. Responsive, clean,.. Looking 'smexy' :D
Today I've got an email of the client, saying he made some small design adjustments...
I think you already know where this is going.. But inline-css everywhere, fixed widths, br's as spacers,.. (It was like an old Frontpage-like design..)
I've changed the FTP user.. From now on, he has to request his changes so that I can apply them.. Damnit.. But hey, extra paid hours of work I guess :D3 -
I was fixing a bug in Production and at the same time, the same client called me for the other project saying its too urgent.
I was like Oh god what now?
Guess what she wanted to change the color of Navbar.5 -
Worst part of being a developer: when you suggest a subtle amber shade but your client insists on bright yellow.
3 -
Dev: What are the requirements?
Client: I want to make my boss happy so that I get lots of money and promotions.
Dev: What does your boss want?
Client: He wants to be happy
Dev: …
Client: Also I don’t want to expend any effort or resources to achieve this
Dev: …4 -
Client : I have a scraping project for you...
Me : Yeah tell me which site you want me to scrape and what data from it?
Client : I want you to scrape data from 500 sites
Me : 500 sites...are you serious?
Client : Yeah 500 sites...can you do the job?
Me : ok...for 500 sites...the charge will be $500...
Client : Are you out of your mind? $500 for just 500 sites...I can only give you $5019 -
Client: Hey can you get rid of the dark overlay on the image?
Me: It would make the white text unreadable on the images you use so it would not be advised
Day passes
Client: (literally resends the email even though he saw mine) Hey can you get rid of the dark overlay on the image?
Me: (changes it and tell my colleague he's 100% going to ask to change it back) changed it
Client: I made a mistake can you change it back
Me: To colleague, told ya 😂😂😂 🤓🤓4 -
You can't keep wasting your time on people who do not know what the fuck they want. You could be way more time efficient with serious clients.
*After I have finally deployed the requested features*
Client: Why did it take you two weeks in the end? You said it would take you a couple days.
Me: Because you told me to use my imagination on half of the tasks and you kept wanting me to change what I had created, thus unnecessarily doubling the time it should have taken. Besides that probably the unclear communication and the fact that you rarely called me back after you told me to call you.
Client: So if I tell you, exactly, how I want it next time you'll be able to do it in a couple days?
Me: I'm not sure, that depends on what you want. Tell me, exactly, what you want.
Client: Oh it's not much, I'll let you do your thing for the most.
Me: I can't handle another request, sorry. *Ends call*4 -
A client of mine who has a competitor that launched android app this January. Now my client wants me to clone the app to her companies branding. I told her that's it's the best idea to make something unique and gives different experience to the user. She started arguing with me for shitty reason.
So I agreed to work on the app.
PS: She is beautiful, I will bang her for sure someday. She is the one who will take my virginity.11 -
Email to Client: "Thank you for the payment. Attached is your invoice. Would you mind providing a review? :)"
Client 1: "is very very good"
Client 2: "A+"
Client 3: "Awesome"
Client 4: "Good job"
Client 5: "good."4 -
Client told me he doesn't want to be bothered(contacted) outside working hour
So why did he mad as i told him I couldn't do the request he was giving me at sunday noon😕2 -
Client wants to deliver August 1st. Bust our butts to make the deadline. Changes the entire layout on July 29th and still expected 8/1 release. Blames us for missing the deadline.4
-
Client : We need real time analysis.
Me : But we can't just scrape thousands of results and process them on user's click.
Client : Don't do that, Real-time analysis is scraping it once and processing it everytime the user demands.
Me : Okay
WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!7 -
Me: Do you like the client?
Dude: Yeah! How did you make that?
Me: I... I...
Also me: SHIT I DON'T KNOW.4 -
!Rant
Fuckkkkkkkk youuuuuuuu CLIENT :/
Client asked why two weeks for refactoring.?? When you already know the functionality and he gave us two days.
After two days we successfully renamed everything!!! 😣5 -
So...Worked my butt off to have a website developed by a certain date client and I agreed on. Finished the site 3 weeks ago and sent dev link. Client has been completely silent; unreachable by email (I sent 5 in past 3 weeks) and phone (left 2 voicemails and a message with his receptionist today). In ALL five emails I told him I needed the email addresses he wants used to route his sales leads to...Got nada.
So today I seen that the lead forms have been tested on the website. Dude can't get back to me for 3 effing weeks, BUT can test his lead forms.. You know, without the lead email addresses that i asked for 5x. Ugh, idiot!!!2 -
We spent 80% of development time implementing a feature requested by a client. Client for no reason says "the feature is no longer needed take it out ". Am so fucking furious now. Such a waist of time6
-
Client have this amazing idea about a website that they wanted to convert into reality by using our service. Me and my friend started working on it.
After a month later when it's almost ready, they informed they are not investing into the idea anymore. They would like to discard the project and will pay half of it.
I am eventually realising why signing a contract is really important4 -
Email from a client today: The programmers just need to add an "if/then" code that IF ... BUT NOT ... THEN ... ONLY ... AND ...
God help us if they discover while5 -
Client: I want it to be a black color.
Me: but this is black
Client: Not this black, I want the kind of black you see when I turn off my TV
Me: :/2 -
Client wanted to send us e-mail addresses.
Client sent an image inside a Word document showing a list of e-mail addresses.
Luckily ShareX has an OCR feature.1 -
In one of my first jobs i developed an (ugly and heavly under-payed) e-commerce/media platform for a customer.
That customer was constantly making fun of his bald partner telling how he was gay, liked dicks, etc., drawing dicks and bananas as sample website logos or uploading dildo/penis images as images, he was always like this.
Once the website was ready for production i removed all the "testing" posts and images and told the client to insert some real content and alert me when it was ready for release.
Well some time after the release i got a call from that client, for the first time he was serious:
C: Hi, why there are dildo images on the server? (the website in production was full of dildo/penis images instead of actual product images, he even photoshopped the head of his partner on a penis and uploaded it!!!)
R: ehm... i told you it was on production and to stop uploading bad content....
C: Ummm ok, please fix it immediatly, thanks!3 -
[Typical dump Client]
After finishing an Android app, the app was amazing and the client is happy.
Client: I think we should write iOS version.
Me: ok, but this will take a time to code in different language with those native features..
Client: Can we just "convert" it to iOS, it should be easy no?4 -
Anyone know how to convince a client that machine learning will not be a magical solution to all their problems???
2019 is gonna be super interesting.4 -
Another day, another client story.
So today the client is sending me the text for the website, and after 15(!!!) iterations, add a period, center the text, justify the text, center it again etc.
Me: Can you please create a word document, design it as you like, and I will copy that to HTML for you?
Him: But if I do all the work what am I paying you for?
Me: To listen to you ...3 -
my client just said that she did not pay money, because she cant find her web in google...I uploaded files to production 2days ago5
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A client just asked to reduce the budget on a project, which I have already delivered. fml. Also, I had a look at wakatime, and realised that I've spent over 100 hours on this project.4
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Dear client, if you can't be bothered to check more than two data points during several test imports, why are you surprised your production import has errors in the other 10k+ data points? We told you to check thoroughly, and you swore it was fine. But great now I get to unfuck production while you're mad you can't go live yet.2
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> Tells client, if content isn't hosted on their server somewhere, we'll have to update the app every time they need new content
> Client refuses saying it will take too much time and effort to maintain
*Several weeks later*
> Get email from client asking to update the app because content is out of date
> I want to reply with 'Sorry no can do, it will take too much time and effort to maintain'8 -
Dear boss, client :
We, the developers, have family. Respect our time by knowing what you want us to build beforehand.3 -
Client: MY PASSWORD DOESN'T WORK
Me: our passwords are case-sensitive
Client: YES I USED CAPS LOCK1 -
Client: "But why isn't it working. It should work"
Dev: "Sorry but it's not in your requirements"
Client: "But it should work"
fffockins 😡1 -
Me: So... do you want a website, right?
Client: Yes!
Me: ...but you don't know how it should look, right?
Client: Ehm... correct.
Me: ...and you don't even know what color should I use?
Client: Exactly!
Me: ...and of course you can't link me a website you like which I can base on.
So now I have to invent something randomly that somehow will be the exact same thing you would like to see. Nice.1 -
Client: "I cant logging me in"
Me: "Ok do you know your username? "
Client: "yes, off course"
Me:"ok, which password do you use?"
client: "I looked to my colleague... 5 stars"
Me: 🤐😣😯😭😭2 -
"The client is complaining that the data takes a long time to load."
Me, after investigating: "Does the client really need [not an exaggeration, actual figures] 130,000 rows of data?"
"I will show them these stats but they said they need it"8 -
When your boss force you to go to client land and do some socializing, for God sake I'm a developer not a f***en public relations employee3
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The worst feeling is when you are really proud of your work, you managed to realize your vision in a perfect way and you're really happy about the result, so much that you are presenting it to the client with pure joy, but the client doesn't appreciate it, doesn't understand your vision and consider it worse than the previous version.
It's incredible how easy It is to move from happines to sadness and depression in a few seconds.
My work had made my day, but the client ruined it.
fml8 -
Dear Client,
Mentioning "Dear Friend" in email won't make your bug as top priority.
Seriously,
Developer4 -
Client: "I found a bug on your website. Its not possible to submit the contact form."
Me: "No bug. Its a feature"
#answerforeverything4 -
Client: Build me this subscription based software
Also client: *doesn't fundamentally understand how subscriptions work*4 -
> move out
> few months to get married
> get a client
> get another client
> first client starts to get messed up
> tell the first client to cancel the contract
> second client cancels my contract because the first client is pissing me off and making my productivity decline
> first client don't wanna cancel the contract nor pay me
> brings a lawyer
> 3 weeks to get married
> no job
> bills to pay
> lawyer to pay
great to be me6 -
it always amaze me when client thinks that new layout for his site will solve all performance problems3
-
You know a website launch is going to go smoothly when:
1) it survives multiple reviews,
2) it's packaged up and sent to the client,
3) client tells you there's incorrect info,
4) incorrect info matches current site, and
5) client doesn't provide the correct info.
😑3 -
I forgot to eat today, but I have boiled down the devRant theme system into just a few classes... and the "window" one is redundant-ish
Now that I can dynamically theme Qt widgets, my client will be able to support custom themes, confirmed!
2 -
#10
After I did some work on this nightmare codebase, the client kept switching goals. He Changed the task a few times, so I always told him that he will have to pay for all changes.
After a time he requested another change, so I stated that he has to pay the first invoice I sent him first. He started bitching around, that I didn't complete the work yet and so on. I saw where this was going. He didn't wanted to pay me, so I cancelled the work for this bitch.
😤
Read my revenge in #113 -
The client asked me today to include Internet Explorer to the compatibility list. After 5 minutes of continuous refreshing, Internet Explorer finally shows me in developer tools that it does not support Promises and Object.assign().
At that moment, my Promise to the client also failed.5 -
No matter how much we do for client, sponsor, do the app for free. They will still not be happy with me. Always trying to bullying me to get more things done for free. Plus the fucken asshole bad mouth about my company and doesn't recommend us to anyone.
This one client we did a website for free 3 years ago. Just came in today wants to revamp the website for free again but this time they want more features. What surprising is that they don't want our company link to be on the website as they don't want to tell the world that we made the website. According to my boss via sponsorship they have not given any client.5 -
Building an interface for a client between industrial power quality meters and a database that serves a webapp of data.
Client had heard of a way of sending data between meter and raspberry. From some manager in a big firm.
Currently we where using modus to connect the meter to a raspberry. This method was tested and proofen to work. Both devices could talk to each other in modbus.
Client kept demaning to use mbus, and was nog listening to any reason because the firm suggested it. In the end we end up going modbus to mbus to send it to the raspberry. There the mbus was converted back modbus. Because the meter could not communicate in mbus.
Really weird experience to program something so useless. But protesting about it was going nowhere and taking more time than the changes would take to implant.2 -
Never lose your sense of wonder when it comes to working with clients. Client berated us saying her data were outdated. Ok. Check the file the third party that generated the data is sending us.
Outline all stated discrepancies in the data back to the client, showing that everything lines up with what we are receiving.
Client is frustrated. Contact the third party in their behalf.
Third party support: “oh yea, client had us start sending data to your competitor like a month ago”
Bruh. Bruh. Bruh.
Fortunately the client wants to stay with us and is getting their data pointed back but how in the hell do you forget that. The reason the client when looking at competition (at least guessing looking at previous call records) is to get faster processing of the data coming from the third party. How are you gonna forget you turned off the sending when you are so worried about speed?! Most of our clients are running 7-8 figure businesses by the way.2 -
Client A: "So, how about those features I told you yesterday? Can it work? Have you discuss it with your team?"
Me: "Yes, it would possibly have to extend the due date a little bit more..."
Client A: "Meaning?"
Me: "You have to pay more."
*Another 15mins awkward silence moment*
Client A: "I don't understand."
Seriously, get some other guy to do the meeting please...I am not good in PR....
3 -
Throwback to the time I got called out by my boss in a meeting in front of the client for using too specific vocabulary like CRUD with them, immediately asked the client if they were familiar with it, they were, and boss didn't comment about it further. He ended up being the odd one out hehe jewel in my memories.1
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The client: "I'm trying to export as HTML a few data we collected in 1 month with your software, why does it take so much???"
The length of the generated HTML file for the "few data":
7 -
3 months to get married:
* gets another client, everything good
2 month to get married:
* lose previous client, all good, the previous client didn't pay as much as the current one
1 month to get married:
* previous client don't wanna pay for the previous month
* lost the second client
Great job 👍 debts + no fucking job6 -
MRW a client needs a site with new content but they leave to go on holiday and don't give you a list of content.
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when the client starts asking for so much stupid changes.
Me: Ok sur, I will email you about those changes and the estimate time.
Inside Me: I may look calm, but inside my mind I killed you 5 times with 5 different ways.1 -
me: I'll start making the site today. To make sure the project is up and go by the deadline, I need you to send some missing content. Please find attached a spreadsheet (with perfectly tought cella :) ) abot the missing content.
-- weeks go by, several mailing and phoning. site is ready. content zero --
client: why is the site not public yet?! you promised a deadline! I'm nőt paying, if it is not ready by tomorrow.
me: ok just send the content I requested.
-- 2days pass. no content --
client: thats it. i'm not payin'. here is the content ( much mire than designed ) upload it and we are done here!!!4 -
Had design call with designer, myself and client. At end of call we tell client we're going to send a mock up and that it's just going to be a flat image/JPG, because we don't start developing the site until mock up is 100% approved. I sent mock up to client once it's finished.
Client: "Why isn't this working? I can't click anything and nothing moves."5 -
Well, they are just fucking kidding
Unix guru on entry level... That moment, when you realise that client is too lazy to pick option intermediate or expert, but expects somebody to do evetything
5 -
Client: "When will feature X be ready? How much time to you need?"
Me: "Well, considering the size of the feature it will probable ta..."
Client: "You have exactly 8 minutes to finish or I'll throw a tantrum."
A bit exaggerated, but it pretty much sums up my job. -
I remember when I had my first "website job" and I put it on a test domain to show it to the client.
But when I changed things up in the css or something, the client wouldn't see the updates.
It took me a whole bunch of time to figure out it was caching. So I told him to use an anonymous tab. Fun time, back then..
How do professionals manage these things? :D6 -
I didn't know "bandwidth" can be so hard to understand even after 2 hrs explaining..client still wants widgets with autoplay videos..God why?4
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Jurassic Park was based on a cheapass client who didn't want to pay the right amount to the. Developer who single handedly protected everyone in the park.
-
*background: client has told account manager he's not paying any more money till his site is done, not only is it the most in-depth WordPress site we've made, but we'll beyond the scope of the signed contract. He sent a few more edits over the weekend which I ignored because we have a team meeting later to discuss he client and where to go from here.
account manager comes in and says he has a call from client looking for me. I tell him that he should probably take a message as I'm not in the mood to be belittled by the client and we have a meeting later to discuss him anyways, we'll call him back.
AM: Come on, he says it'll only take a second and I'll be here so we can do it on speaker.
he transfers the call and we start talking in my office, before the client has even finished his first remark, the AM has left the room. Now we have the least social person in the office talking to the client when both parties are less than happy.
I managed to keep my cool and not tell the client to fuck off, and made sure I was clear about not promising any of his new edits.
Phrases like "that will take time and money" were used a lot.
There may be shots fired at the meeting later.4 -
many new updates to skyRant, a devRant Android client! new stuff:
user and blocking of words (such as gpt :)
github integration
rEaL tiMe notifications :P
deep linking
more themes
link preview (image, icon and desc)
german language support
double-tap to vote (rant page)
and even more (this was just the best:))
for watchRant the ability to set your avatar as watchFace has been added!
skyRant GitHub download https://github.com/joewilliams007/...23 -
https://reddit.com/r/programming/...
"I didn't get paid so I open-sourced my client's project". What do you think about this approach, folks? Pretty neat to me, plus people get good free stuffs! Unless the client finds out about the cod- Who am I kidding? They're client!9 -
When client asks for stupid changes, its easier to make changes than to explan why you think it's stupid.3
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Me(to client): I'm the designer for your website. Should I proceed with the landing page?
Client: I...actually just want my images to be watermarked with my logo3 -
When a client keeps trying to bring down the price and then keeps adding on changes needed to be made to his website....really about to just walk away. FMDL3
-
** this means words are muted **
Friday:
I send a mail the client a Google doc with elaborate details about evaluation of an Android tablet from a Chinese manufacturer.
Monday:
The client is upset, he says "You say there is no GPS chip on the tablet while the manufacturer says otherwise"
Me- "I have clearly mentioned that it has a GPS chip"
Client- Opens the Google doc, points to a sentence. Looks at me like I did something horrible.
Me - **This guys is either word blind or something else is wrong with him, the line reads 'GPS chip available'**
Me- "Look, it says 'GPS chip available'.
Client- **Blinks n blinks again** "Alright, but why did you share a Google document, why not PDF, docx"
Me-**Politely** "You can download the document in any format, look I will show you..."
Client- "It should have been in the mail itself ideally"
Me- **WTH** "We normally maintain a document for such things to keep everything organised, but if you want I will put everything in mail itself"
Client- "Hmm.. do both from next time"
Me- "Alright" **BS**
Client- "Why is the new feature taking so much time"
Me- "As planned earlier, we going to deliver it tomorrow"
Client- "Why not today??" **Gives a strange look.**
Me thinking - **Enough**
Me- "See, I am trying to integrate a smarten with a socket connection, reading it's data via exposed APIs that are hardly documented, we need faster performance so I need to implement caching, multi threading, offline handling, multiple processes to avoid memory fluctuations, sync adapter to sync data...."
Client- "Ok ok ok, it's fine if you give working build tomorrow"
Me- "Ok, fine"
#limit1 -
The moment when client test team rejects a fix as it "doesn't work" when it's clear they haven't read the documentation 😂2
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When you are creating a tool for a direct client that has no idea about development. She asks you to develop a tool to open a log file and format in a specific way inside Excel.
Ok, this is simple. In about 4 hours I can do that. After delivery and the client has tested, they answer: "Oh, it's working fine. You just forgot to include Y".
Of course Y were not in the initial scope. They supposed it was as it would makes sense to them, but at first they just asked a tool open a log. Ok, not a problem, I will implement it.
Weeks after implementation they answered it was not working with another specific file format (from a not industry default tool), but they have this client and my code should work with it too.
Ok, let's implement that. I had to change some functions and with some extra hours I could make it work. Once more, after delivery, they said the tool has to use a specific formatting for this file extension, that was not only different to the others, but I had to rewrite the entire code to make it work.
At least they paid me some extra hours...4 -
We've told our client they can test their brand new distribution modul with a new test account already 42 times (not exaggerating, I counted). At least half these, we've sent also the test login data which they could use.
Just now, a new issue message from them says distributors couldn't see some data, we should fix the problem. Well, they already can't see those, but client has logged in with their own account again for testing... -
Client A: “What does that little button do? It looks so not fit in though. Can we just remove it?”
Me: “It basically serves as a sort function and to make those data look more tidy when you first input them. Especially when it comes from many sources, it .....blah blah blah.... So it's quite inportant to stay there according to UX basic.”
Client A: “??????????”
Me whispering: “Jon Snow.....”
Client A: “Sorry, what?”
Me : “Noooothing~ let’s talk about the other module shall we?”
5 -
Client said "should we add this moving newsfeed bar to make it look more modern?"
It looks like fucking crap and costs 100€ per Year.. i guess we should not add this peace of shit. -
skyRant, an unofficial devRant client has received a new update!
You can now read devRant's unofficial magazine in the app! Plus, view the latest matrix messages. The user interface has been updated too! [and more]
Read on it over on kbin.melroy https://kbin.melroy.org/m/drbboard/... or even in the new skyRant magazine page!
Note: any previous version of skyRant must be uninstalled before updating. Download from here: https://devrant.com/rants/6573682/...
here's a preview!
1 -
A client brought us a project once related to drones. Our team came up with a great solution for the problem and pitched it back to the client. After going back and forth and beating us up on the price, they ultimately got cold feet and stopped responding to us.
Flash forward several months and wouldn't you know it, NASA and Lockhead Martin have the same idea and file the patent. Could have been sitting pretty if the client just went through and filed our design first which would have barely cost anything.2 -
Built a quick mockup for a custom CRM as the client was unsure about the UX/UI and wanted to see something before going ahead, used an online tool for the example.
Client wasn't happy when they saw the overall breakdown of costs. They didn't want to pay as much because "most of it was already built"5 -
Client: Thank you for this and all your hard work we will review and get back to you EOP Friday before final submit.
Us: We have been working to a deadline and have actually finished early which meant that we would be able to submit on Friday, at the very least by the afternoon. One question...is this your time EOP Friday?
Client: Yes
Us: That'll be 2 in the morning here and a Saturday.2 -
So, might be the first time ever but I have a reasonable client. Oh wait, life isn't that nice!
Boss, stop picking fights over stupid shit with the client!
Boss, actually show up to meetings you called!
Boss, do you want to get us fired from the contract?
Boss, stop threatening the client! They hold all the chips here!
Boss, actually listen to my technical advice since you are not technical!
Boss, go die in a hole!
Boss, I want your job and paycheck you do nothing!
Boss, don't tell me you are tired and we can talk tomorrow when you kept me up until 3am the previous night then called an 8am meeting!
Boss, give everybody, including the client, more than 2 hours notice for a meeting, then get pissed when the client doesnt show. They have other meetings!1 -
!Rant
How to tell a client that you are currently busy with other client projects once those are done then I can I take their project.3 -
Me and my mate was building a website for a client a while ago with react. I got the client from him.
All of a sudden he said, the client doesn't want it anymore for some vague reason. So I stopped developing and left it in our git repo.
Months later I found one of his website using the website I created with react for that client with some UI changes :/3 -
I asked the client to give me a 768 video, still gives me a 510, then rants that the video on their site is blown up and the people's head are cut off... WTF1
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A client wants revisioning on revisions, so he could check if the revisioners were doing good work...
He wouldn't answer then question: "Why not doing the revisioning yourself?". -
I think my client have a gift, he always know exactly where not to go or not to click...
Man, let me show you the prototype with peace !1 -
Have you ever felt that you did such a piss poor job that you don’t even want to charge the client for it?4
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I made a client who installed w7 on a macbook and used ie7 for years use chrome, so he i don't have to fix his website for Internet Exhauster.1
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I got my first client! I am programming an autohotkeys program for my job to make inputting on their site way easier. It was mostly my idea but, they were onboard!
-
Our client wants us to deploy all changes to the test server & to the production server at the same time (-___-)
So all bugs which have been founded after that should be hotfixed ASAP :/2 -
Client: drops a few devs in the standup
Everyone: wtf who are these people what what are they going to do?
Client: could you (me) help them get up and running and answer any questions they have.
New dev: where is the host file located?
Me (in my head): wait what you dont know? Wtf you have 'senior' dev in your fucking email signature. Go and fucking google
Me: c:/system32/drivers/etc/hosts.
Fuck my life right now.1 -
What Git client are you using? Also, what's a freemium Git client that is cheap? Sorry I'm not a fan of monthly subscriptions (hi gitkraken and Git tower) Thanks! 😎22
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So ive made some big improvements to skyRant the Android devRant client and the new version is out on Github!
There's now a fully working Avatar Builder (which actually took a while since it was not really documented to this point) and search, profile editing and community projects page have been added. :).
Related post: https://devrant.com/rants/6573682/...
49 -
It's a shame how you as a freelance web developer complete a project and hand it over to client and you check it over and over and you never find the client use the project.
It hurts my feelings really really bad.4 -
When you spend months putting together a major update for the original scope of a project, release the update to a client, and the first thing they say: "Where's that new feature I asked for last week?"
-
That moment you start feeling like a taxi with a client who keeps asking for more things to be changed while we keep charging.
Feels weird1 -
Am doing an online shop for some client as a side project. The client never requested a module enabling an admin user to manipulate listed products. Now this cheap genius wants to be able to login as a seller and manipulate whatever products they've listed. So I told the client it's not possible to do that because passwords are stored as hashes. Now, can you Guess who's storing clear text passwords ?
May shit never hits the fan.3 -
client: Your sh** page doesn't work, i haven't been able to do a single sale in hours...
me: have you tried to reload the page?
client: Of course i... oh wait, that was the problem, thanks anyways1 -
Created whole UAM System in Product for client. After the deployment client asked me
"In which table should I run the query to create a new user." -
PM show's me a brouchure for a client. And said can you make open animation in PDF? Like unfold.. We want it for tomorrow. Hhahahahaha3
-
Client sends a message that the mobile app is crashing and displaying a message that is nowhere to be found in code.
neither frontend, nor backend.
Do they even know which app they are using?!1 -
Is there a devRant client for android that works better then the official one? I saw devRant native, i love the animations but sadly its incomplete.6
-
Client: How many days do you need for this project
Me: 6 months
Client: That's too much. I researched and found that it shouldn't consume more than 3 months
Me: I'm sure you didn't researched on gradle building process (-_-) -
My client told me that she was not happy with her website because there were unnecessary boxes on one of the pages.
Me: Unnecessary boxes?
Her: Yes, at the bottom of the contract page.
Me: boxes... Boxes... Wait, did you mean the footer?
Her: Yes. They are not relevant. Please remove them. -
went to client presentation yesterday. client wasted 2 hours on discussing non technical matters like what data goes on the field when we were asked and did develop as per their data. just looked at a page and kept on saying it's their mistake for the unclear term. didn't even reach the part that we went to to show3
-
3 weeks back took a bug..
**long rant**
Looked into it and found that it is exist in older version(say V1) as well.
Sent mail to client stating i can fix this in current version (say V2). Since V1 is already released and our current code stream is V2 and so if we fix in V2 , the code will not reach V1 code base.
**explained to client**
Client : I mean if you fix why it won't work in older release.
Me: Explains how code streams will work.
Client : Okay.. but it will support the functionality in V1 , right ?
Me: (*internally* are fucking kidding me? It won't work dumb ass.) No. It won't work in older versions. I am fixing it in V2.
client: okay.. Let's proceed.
Me: Done code changes. Send code to review. (we have to send review to upper level manager).
Manager1 : I didn't liked this part. can you change this ?
Me : sure. Done.
Manager1 : Now i liked it. Sent review to Manager2.
Me: why the fuck ? Are you not sure about my changes are good?
Manager 2: I liked it, but need some log changes.
Me: Fuckkkk...... Let me change this.. Done. Now can I promote those changes?
Manager2: No we need to send review to client manager as well.
Me: Goddammit.. Okay.. sent review.
*After a fucking week..*
Client Manager : Looks good. Push the code.
Me: Finally..
(This process took 18 days which would have been completed in 3 days if there is only one peer review)
Now the other guy from client whose tracking the bugs reported why it took so long to fix it.
I think my client manager is over paid and can't even know how his company code stream works. Fuck you . why client has these lazy ass old fucking "I don't look into my email" type people. God I hate these "I am in rich country" people.2 -
Trying to shutdown a client remotely using "Shutdown -i" and it's not working...
Google, you're my only hope2 -
Working on a WordPress site for a client after not touching WordPress in a long time. At least they are minor functionality additions, and thank God for plugins...2
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Some Coworker has the opinion that when providing a webservice always the client has to send the SQL Statement to the server/service because it has to be of full control of everything...3
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Meet up with a new client, everything looks good feature wise and planning. Then the $ hits & I get hit up the fucking ass again.3
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Just done with the second meeting of the day with the same client. The client decided to arrange another on Monday :-/6
-
Update to watchRant!
(my second and probably last post about it)
watchRant client is mostly complete now!
Added: logging in, notif page, ranting, commenting, ++/-- of rants, search, amoled theme,
A surprise me btn for a random Rant (why is this not in the official app @_@, its in their API)
And the best:
Sick rant animation of the client of @Simmorsal!!
https://github.com/SIMMORSAL/...
some things are still missing: voting comments, stories page, comment/ranting with images (nobody takes images with a watch haha) ...
watchRant is also available on the PlayStore now (as sideloading to a watch isnt very convinient), but the latest updates will always be on github first
For context: https://devrant.com/rants/6340608/...13 -
Client demo today..
Did lots of configuration stuff in this sprint and when talking through it I confuse even myself.. so many things that were done for one specific goal..
They will be confused during the whole demo, only in the last 2 min it will start to make any sense - when all the pieces come together.
It’ll be fun..4 -
client: "I cannot access the app"
me: "How? Can't install app? Can't login? Any error messages?"
client: Sends picture, one of the screens shows error
I really don't understand some users. How does one connect the dots between "cannot access" and "screen error". -
The contact forms sent emails from no-reply@ and in the last meeting the client told us a colleague of them asked once who "No repli" was and why he's not answering her emails. Well...
(German client, so she may not knew what "no reply" means)1 -
a client to whom I literally have to repeat everything 2-3-5 times before it gets through his skull and even then he keeps asking stuff which I already answered to.
-
Question:
Were you hired by a company and develop software FOR that company?
Or...
Were you hired by one company and build software for a client or attend work at a client's office?4 -
Fuck when your client find a bug in production, but you can't replicate in your developmment environment. So sad 😣2
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Rewriting some fractal generation code for a client in Python. his original code was in Visual Basic. he sent me his original code as a fucking Microsoft Word document...............
-
All pages are done properly, here comes the client editing the pages, now its messed up... Still my fault 😭😭😭
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How do you deal with a client in which you have to frequently explain the changes they requested back to them?6
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I got a client to build a LMS. What are some easier way to complete the project? I am thinking of using wordpress with some LMS plugin.2
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Getting feedback from a client like: "on mobile left is right and right is left"
Wtf am i supposed to make out of this1 -
When the client you're working for decides to swap the hosting for the CRM integrated site you're working on with no warning... for the second time in the project.
-
FFS specification of this feature changed for fourth time in a matter of like two weeks. Flipping client, I bet he's gonna be asking again why is the project taking so long...
I am so glad I don't have to interact with him, I might say some unfortunate things to his face. -
Agency adventures: Client always asking for bespoke hardcoded changes in the system. They want to save budget, so you suggest to make a admin screen for that frequent change so they can manage themselves and not pay you to do. You make that. Client keep creativity on top levels, asking for changes not supported by the new feature and that still have to be hardcoded.
Now, after the time estimates, they kindly ask: "can't you use that admin page to speed up your work?". -
+devteam -client
+So... Here is our program that you can do many things such as... (3628463 features)
-Nice can you export data to excel
+fffffuuuu......1 -
Any examples of a a good client? Please mention your story! Let's see if we can have some good clients! :D3
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I have an unfortunately low number of folks nearby who I can rant about foolish client behaviour to where they'll understand my frustration. It's the kind of stuff you don't want in writing forever on the internet but seriously some of the crap people do to sabotage their own success is mind boggling.1
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Request:
Do not handover project to client before deadline.
They will ask to add minor feature that will cause major bugs.
Happened with me🙄1 -
> Get sent to local client that manages most services on prem themselves
> We just deliver the software and setup instructions, client is self-proclaimed "technical enough" to handle the rest
> Never had issues with them, client for about 1,5year, we assume they are indeed technical enough
> Local client needs me for some help with their "backup solution"
> Cron job that dd's entire disk every week to external ssd.
> External ssd finally caved in after what was most likely years of torture
> Has nothing even remotely to do with our software (which has built-in backups, which they apparently don't use)
> I get scolded and screamed at when I say not our problem
Fml2 -
Client: I need to organize this data in my database, just let me create any folder, and folders inside folders. I mean, it is a database so you can create folders right?
Me: I'll see what I can do
Inner me: NO, F U, that's not easy, that's not how databases work, WTH is wrong with you4 -
Wow shit, you are a colleague of the client and you are talking so informal to me, no freaking manners, besides I'm just starting out with my career and it looks like he is about to retire! Just GO allready and leave the technical stuff to people how can do that shit!!3
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Trying to have a sit down meeting with a client and they just keep telling me that they are to busy. Looks like I will be twiddling my thumbs till they are done.
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Sometimes, I just hate to go through all the information and provide a quote to the client. Especially, when a project is no fun.1
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