Enter BIOS menu
See the option called something like “ionic capacitor discombobulation”
Click “help” near the option to learn what the hell that is
“Enables or disables ionic capacitor discombobulation”
ffs

At $work, I just learned that a daemon on prod makes an SFTP connection to the same domain every 0.5 to 10 seconds, all day long, every single day. That’s a minimum of 8,640 connections per day!

The senior developer responsible for it had the dev skills of a junior and the management skills of a puppet, but she’s a “disadvantaged minority” and is great at stealing credit and throwing people under the bus. Naturally, she has been given multiple promotions and a team to lead… which she fills exclusively with other Indians, all of them at her skill level or below. (I used to do their code reviews and security reviews.)

When I asked one of the fintech managers (a former dev) about the crazy number of SFTP connections, he said “[Her team] did that intentionally, as it didn’t used to be that way. They must have had a reason” and cut me off.

Okay then.
Not my garden, not my fertilizer.
Just another day weeding the fields in hell.

So many meetings, how could one be lonely

Want to prevent your Windows PC from ever entering sleep mode? (Okay, okay, I know, you can do it in settings.)

Easy solution: Launch the Amazon Music app. (Without even playing any music, just launching the app prevents sleep mode, lol.)

What dumb developers from Amazon...

A kid just called me uncle, and my whole life flashed before my eyes

I just got blocked on chess.com because some british guy blundered away like three pieces in a row and I went "blimey! the brexit geezer gambit!"

simple as.

Why does the girl in the Google Meet permission dialog have anal beads for hair?

I really want this whole industry to die. I want it to happen from the bottom of my soul!

Their whole job ad was about web technologies where they were asking for a 7-10 years Symfony developer.

One would think being a programmer for 10 years should superseed your shitty LLM prompt crafting requirements.

Truly, there never was a better time for global EMP to happen..

I didn't become a developer to be legacy's bitch. But we're all legacy's bitch.

I want to roam free. I want to piss in the rain and sing at strlen. I don't want to be in corporate meetings anymore.

I don't want to contort my ideas and good intentions to fit legacy's ugly painting.

I want to be free.

Please let coding be fun again.

I process more tickets than a brothel car park ticket machine

Teams amirite

B2Plane I've found the best spot for you to take a dump:

Honey, load my shotgun

Today, I was successful in shouting AGENT into an automated call menu today to get to an actual agent.

This is lead acetate. It looks like sugar and tastes like sugar, yet it’s as toxic as lead.
Have a good day!

I still have like, 4 working days left but my manager is on holiday from today so as far as I'm concerned, so am I.

You use English because it’s the only language you know
I use English because it’s the only language YOU know
We are not the same

I can't wait for openAI to go bust.

today i was asked to encrypt a public key, because "it's sensitive info".

a PUBLIC key.

smh

it's not even hard (literally 1 line of code), but come on...

Instead of age++, I now do lifetime--;

New baby girl 🥰

Worryingly, at 4:04pm.

Guys what the hell.

I clicked “update and shut down” and it honestly did it. It didn’t restart and leave my laptop running. It actually really for real genuinely earnestly updated and SHUT DOWN. Microsoft finally figured it out? They finally did it?????

Serverless.

This is where your Lambdas run

damn it

To anyone I offended this year:

Work on yourself so I don't gotta do it again in 2025.

Open letter to any website that is trying to implement "smooth scrolling" on their website using JavaScript: stop, consider how awful it is 100% of the time, and kill yourself please.

ooooh, this gon be god

Threw up in my mouth a bit reading this.

I did it.

I finally fucked prod.

And had to do open heart surgery on the service to get it unfucked.

Shit happens. Luckily its internal prod only...

My employer forgot that I've been overseas for 6 months. Just, forgot.

client cto: "SOMEBODY COMPROMISED YOUR KEY!!!! IT SHOWS SOMEBODY LOGGED IN TO DEVOPS GUY'S ACCOUNT USING KALI LINUX!!!!! HERE ARE THE LOGS!!!!"

the logs: *show an ip address*

the ip address: *ip address of the office*

devops guy: *actually uses kali linux*

not really a rant, just found it funny