To convert to Resume

I am an asp.net dev who started working march - 2022.
I am the only dev in the team (CSD) from September - 2022(colleague gone on maternity leave).
Starting from January I have been training 2 freshers/intern.

Any ideas on how to convert this into resume points?

I bought a really cool knife today that has a scorpion engraved on it.

This is now my personality

Today in Amy can’t remember words, I forgot the word nostalgia and instead said “pangs of wistful memory”. You’re welcome.

As a developer, I hate the random bursts of motivation. Why? Well, it brings self-confidence that leads to me thinking I can contribute to open-source when I'm learning what HTML is!

Average software isn't even average.

I can not count the number of times I am faced with a consumer facing software such as fastfood terminals, atms, phones or even OS's that simply are broken. I am so sick of looking around like there is something wrong with me, when its the fucking code that simply offers me broken options. My favorite is the McDonalds ordering platform that simply offers one option once you select your first item: + THATS it a fucking + sign is my only option. What if I only want one fucking thing!!!

No I have to stumble around, looking ignorant until I finally just press the add more + sign. WHALLA
I can then select complete order - stupid programmers show me we all should write our own code that way we live or die by its quality.

Someone once told me, be glad software is so poorly written on average, otherwise we would all be a slave to big brother by now.

guy creates very cool looking, advanced css effects library that went viral

guy puts it up on GitHub

guy writes a ranty post and pins it to top the of issues with stuff like "i'm not going to make this a module or library that can be installed, and also don't try because i've already created a seperate repo for that" ON AN OPEN SOURCE LIBRARY

dude, you already open-sourced it, people are going to use it however they want

idk, just found this to be a very weird vibe, thought i'd share. thoughts?

Whereless update.

A remarkably stupid but efficient technique I invented today to measure the latency of an audio feedback channel involving multiple hardware elements that is difficult to synchronize by itself:

1. Knock. Observe the echo in the feedback.
2.Try to knock in such a way that the physical sound more-or-less lines up with the feedback. The human brain is really good at this on average.
3. Once you often only hear one knock (as perfect synchronization as your ear can tell), record several minutes of audio
4. Stop knocking, count the additional knocks in the echo
5. Multiply the average delay between knocks on the recording by the number of additional knocks from step 4

F**k companies who's apps use MySQL/MariaDB tables of the table engine MEMORY.

Seriously.

That engine *sucks* to work with as an admin. It's such a huge pain in the ass having to always dump the whole DB instead of taking a snapshot.

And if the replica restarts... Poof. Replication breaks. Cuz all the memory tables are suddenly empty!

Fml. Fmfl. Ugh.

Dreaming of a challenging adventure and from sleeping in my very comfortable mint, had some coffee and tried some freshly-picked and good-to-go debian for fun, it was a great morning. Nice logo it has I feel so cool, what a good day to have, a blessing to try things let's sing some praises, hallelujah! But my friend debian's not so friendly even gave me a deadly look --It was a nightmare from installation to even shutting it down, so many versions to install, very limited explanation on internet and terminal doesn't work, crap it's 03:00 and I haven't slept for a while my eyes are shedding pure regret while I am looking for a way out. What is this, after all my training am I still too weak to handle this kind of power, or maybe my friend just need some more persuasion?

Alone again.

I want you all to think back on how "transparent" and "helpful" everyone was to you when you were useful to the company.

And then as soon as you were gone, did they just complain and say something like "how could fullstackclown leave us??!?!?!"

I swear, the last call I was on, I literally heard the phrase "we are such a good team, we think up great MVP products and you guys execute so well"

Let me translate: "we are whimsical fucksticks and you are our slaves to implement it because we ourselves are too incompetent to do it"

Well no more.

Fucking tools, all of them, everyone just wants to use us to get ahead. No competence, no self-understanding, just encapsulate the "IT" or "tEcHiE" people to some department - doesn't even have to even be near us, they can be from any geographic location; they can just be replaced at a moment's notice!

Yeah, well fuck you, because we're growing in skill and understanding, and fighting against you.

Fucking 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡s

The unionized revolution of software developer is coming soon.

i don't understand redux thunk

learning golang. so they have optional feature called `vendor`. so basically they reinvent the `node_modules`.

the weird thing is that it supposed to work by committing dependencies to git. but unlike node_modules, vendor directory wouldn't be massive since they come with assumption that the community wouldn't fuck up the libraries ecosystem.

huh?

Those quick impromptu 15 minute meetings are more meaningful than the scheduled ones.

DevRanters, Have you witnessed a mass layoff in your company where you weren't the one getting fired? If yes, what was it like?

What is the point of demanding an app if the app consists mainly of web pages?!?
And thanks for making it almost impossible for me to handle what the back button does when the user is balls deep inside of a website inside of the app.

Upon interview hiring i was given an excel sheet to fill how many years of experience i have working in X (X = technology). One of the things they asked was how many years of experience do i have working in npm, yarn, grunt, gulp, npm scripts... WTF?

I'm glad that you have a Very Important Call but if it's longer than 5 minutes could you just fucking move to a room instead of just making noise for everyone on the fucking floor. Just take half a second and think how it would feel if everyone else did that.

For those who like experimental, avant-garde metal, have an album recommendation.

The album is called "Huxwhukw" (yeah ik), made by the band Serious Beak.

Rapid changes in time signatures, interesting musical passages, and every song kinda "melts" to the next.