Client: I have lost everything on the cloud holy crap!

Me: Are you signed into your google drive, and within the folder?

Client: No, how do i do that again? I obviously cant be bothered reading your well formated and instructional guide and would rather contact you at 6pm on a saturday night

One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).

Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'

This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"

Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best.

Code reviewer keeps removing my comments saying, "This will only be read by other programmers, the code should speak for itself".

<hyperbole>
This is the exact opposite to back in uni where for every line of code they demanded 2 lines of comments!
</hyperbole>

"Code monkey not say it out loud. Code monkey not crazy just proud."
-Jonathan Coulton

Regarding many of my rants and, I would suspect, many rants on here.

New data structure:
Map with repeated keys allowed. Values of repeated keys will be stored in an array.
Calling get(key) will get the array, pick a random entry in said array, and return it.
Use: Finding what the "number one rule of x," the "greatest thing ever," the "most unbelievable event," and more is.

*generic, flaming hyperbole about software lacking preferred features*

*over-glorifying opinion on preferred software and its superior implementations of features offered by hated product*

*generic user*
*actually employee of software #2's company*