If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.

"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"

Math is hard.

Honest app reviews

App reviews like this :/

Code reviews in a nutshell...

Some reviews can make you go nuts...

This advice cant be better! 😂

I don't know why @dfox , @trogus didn't want a username with underscore and I'm sure they must be having some valid reason for it. But how in fuck did this user have the guts to rate the app 1 star simply because it doesn't have a login with fb feature? I mean you can request for a feature but it's dumb of you to rate 1 star because it doesn't have a feature you want. This is true for any app not only devRant.

Source : One of the user reviews of devRant on the play store.

!rant

For an indie dev like me, this means so much! Made my day!

Peer review be like

When clients write software reviews

Don't you just love reviews like this...

Reviews for Android System WebView :p :p The reviews are gold.

*finally upgrades my personal website from a plain html link collection*
*sends it to dev friends' telegram group*
*receives negative reviews for the color palette*

I... I tend to forget that im colorblind

So Facebook announced a New Feature which lets you upload nudes which get hashed and on a Blacklist so they can't be uploaded to facebook. And in Order to prevent abuse, a human Reviews the pictures. Genius idea

Earlier today, after helping a team mate with an issue, she ask:
"How come you already know the issue even though that's not your code?"

DevRant has more reviews on Android compared to iOS.

Well, yeah... Java devs are always bitching about something 😉

Love to browse the reviews on the playstore sometimes

What would Gordon Ramsay's reaction be if he did code reviews for YOUR code?

Ok so don't answer the question then?

Pretty sure I'm losing braincells while reading product reviews.

!!depression

I used to measure my performance in features per day (or week, depending on their scope), or tasks/day or loc/day for huge projects. My usual was two to three small features a day, and some progress on a larger one.

Now I’m so burned out and depressed that i measure my progress in the amount of days per week that aren’t “zeros” — as in days where i get literally nothing done. Now any day where i get _anything_ done, no matter how little, is a “good day.” I partially refactored about fifty lines of json builder spaghetti on Tuesday. That was a great day.

This week I’ve had two zeros, and it’s Thursday morning. I think it’s going to be a three zero week.

Worse: performance reviews were due weeks ago. I still haven’t written mine, and have no idea what i would even write. How can i make myself sound good when i can barely even force myself to eat or take a shower?

The shitty reviews saga continues...

Guy: We should build a Blockchain based review website.
Me: Why does it have to use a Blockchain?
Guy: That way we can verify that only real people are leaving reviews and not bots.
Me: That's not really how Blockchains work.
Guy: Blockchain!

People giving Xcode bad reviews for being english only.

Stay the fuck away from development if english is a problem for you! 🤬

I'm already annoyed by the translation craze everywhere in development.

At least Apple remains sane in that regard.

When ur application needs extra feature after release..

Not sure if you can do it with git

Buddy just hit me up on Snapchat after one of his code reviews

Visual Studio Code. I went in expecting to hate it, but gave it a chance due to good reviews. Been hooked for months now.

Surprised to see Microsoft create such a slick Dev tool.

During code review:

Guy (also the same guy who pushes code without making unit tests): "Hey, this thing you added is unnecessary. Remove it."
Me: "Have you read the rest of the changes? It isn't unnecessary."
Guy: "Not yet"

How I do code reviews

! Need reviews/feedback
About design.
I am working on an app which tells your family if you are working right now or not. So in case they want to call you.

Oh God, When your boss is reviewing your code and he pauses to take some meds.

startup idea: for $5 i will write 'yikes' under your enemy's code reviews

Code reviews: do it thoroughly or don't do it at all

At my previous job a coworker left positive comments alongside any negative ones on my code. “Nice job here. Very clean”, or “nice use of X design pattern here!” Kinda made me look forward to his code reviews.

Admit it, we all look at the reviews just to find shit like this...

(Can't remember what app I saw this on)

$work is migrating to a new HR performance review service (15five). Instead of a private (ish) review once a quarter, it'll be public (and uneditable) reviews due every friday. Better make sure that review is perfect.

also, praising a coworker is required.

<sarcastic thumbs-up>

While writing up this quarter's performance review, I re-read last quarter's goals, and found one my boss edited and added a minimum to: "Release more features that customers want and enjoy using, prioritized by product; minimum 4 product feature/bug tickets this quarter."

... they then proceeded to give me, not four+ product tickets, but: three security tickets (two of which are big projects), a frontend ticket that should have been assigned to the designer, and a slow query performance ticket -- on top of my existing security tickets from Q3.

How the fuck was I supposed to meet this requirement if I wasn't given any product tickets? What, finish the monster tickets in a week instead of a month or more each and beg for new product tickets from the product manager who refuses to even talk to me?

Fuck these people, seriously.

"Code reviews don't really offer any benefit to the business."

hahaha seems legit

Got a request on a freelance site, was about modding a game.
I've answered thinking "easy money", then he reveals it's for a console, that it's not "hacked" so I couldn't run any third-party script.
I've tried to kindly explain the situation and he seemed having understood.

Few minutes ago I checked my inboxes and I got a bad review on that freelance platform, of course from him. 👌

Just received this beast!
I've read very good reviews of this headphone

!wifi
!!anger

I bought a new wlan card to fix my infuriating wifi issues. It's a TPLink Archer T6E, supports ac, and ostensibly uses Ath9k drivers. Multiple reviews said "installed, booted, and connected! So easy."

Guess what?
I've spent the past two hours trying to get it to work. No banana.

Some other reviews have them fighting with the drivers for days. Looks like that's going to be me, too. 😡

Why the fuck is wifi so fucking difficult?

I have to refactor code from an intern. He's VERY lucky that he already left the company.

If I'd say he programms like the first human that would be very insulting to that first human.

It looks like code at first sight, but when you try to understand what he was doing to achieve his goal you get a brainfuck. Duplicate code, unused code, dumb variable names like blRszN.

He wrote unittests like "expects Exception to be thrown or Server returns Statuscode 500".
Yes, Exception, the generic one.

THESE FUCKING TESTS ARE GREEN BECAUSE YOU DID NOT ACTUALLY TEST SOMETHING.
GREEN IN THIS CONTEXT MEANS: YOUR PRODUCTION CODE IS A BIG PILE OF SHIT.

I already removed 2 bugs in a test which caused another exception than the "expected" one and the test does still not reach the actual method under test.

Dumb fucktard.

The sad thing: The fuckers who did the code reviews and let this shit pass are still here writing code.

These reviews are just taking objectively bad things (energy and microtransactions) and saying they're good?? I'm so confused, has the world gone mad?

Code reviews be like.....

Why do we have code reviews:
To stop stupid crap like column names with mis-matched cases:

* FirstName
* Lastname

Now it's in the production APi and nobody can change it.

His name is Fred and he occasionally reviews my code. Oh... he has stripes and an Instagram account.

Self reviews. They're stupid and people aren't good at it.

Just tell me how I did.

Email to Client: "Thank you for the payment. Attached is your invoice. Would you mind providing a review? :)"

Client 1: "is very very good"
Client 2: "A+"
Client 3: "Awesome"
Client 4: "Good job"
Client 5: "good."

Asking my colleagues to review my code is like asking "can you roast my code?".

Was looking for an unknown call blocker when I came across an app which says something like 'call blocker'. The first person in the reviews gave it one star with the text: it doesn't block sms.

IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE FUCKING TITLE/DESCRIPTION YOU FUCKING DIPWIT

Well for any dev's wanting to see Venom but are seeing meh scores and bad reviews, ignore them because it was fucking brilliant...

What?... really?... You read my code? ...*wipes away tears*

THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!! You sir/madam/undefined are a true gentleman and scholar! (even if you are just a troll picking random shit apart to flash around your superior knowledge of design patterns).

Any time I receive a code review, that is bearing that is an actual review, born of free will and not a mandatory report - I feel flattered beyond words.

> Think its shit? - GREAT FINALLY FEEDBACK!
> Have an idea? - I'm all ears.
> Trying to sound smart? - You still read/used my shit.
> Want to understand my approach? - Grab a drink and get comfy son.

In a world where I am usually the only person in the world that knows WHAT MY ACTUAL WORK IS and there being only a select few people on the planet able to understand it, I am always grateful for developer feedback.

Seriously... out of your own volition you used my code, read it, made an effort to understand my thinking and THEN REACHED OUT TO ME with ideas!!??

I could kiss you... you beautiful binary saint.

Dear people who leave bad reviews...

Do not use a review as a bug report, saying something crashes on your device and telling the developer to "fix this" isn't a review.

It is barely a bug report but a review is on quality, not individual issues .-.

Looking at the one star reviews when buying new tech is pretty telling.

If you struggle to string sentences together, it's no wonder you can't get shit to work.

This is my first rant with image, I was taking break and decided​ to read Android apps comments/reviews. So I picked this app call "Calculator", developed by Google.

Take a look at the second comments from the screenshot. It is beyond User Error...

When Google is desperate about getting then good ratings...

So, I got this review for my app which allows users to send files of all types via Facebook messenger, WhatsApp etc (IM apps) .....

"USERS"
#facepalm

"How to hack"

Our CTO doesn't believe that tests improve code quality. We have no tests on any level, no testers/QA, no code reviews. Nada. I wonder why production keeps breaking 🤔 Guess I'll start looking for another job 🤷‍♂️

Really thought Facebook changed the messenger icon. This smells of spam and paid reviews. I thought Google was working on trying to combat obvious name conflicts and spam.

I hate it when people whine about code reviews. You should never take it personally. We're not against you, we just want good solid code.

I really hate it when it's my boss who's bitching about pull requests. When you throw your hands up and start yelling, "Well I'm blocked, I'm blocked," then you're not helping. You're just being a baby.

Me @40 explaining to my parents why am not married yet.
"Well, see, I prefer short commits,
(I mean everybody does)
And then I require at least two peer reviews and approval before pushing.
So she really needs to be perfect to merge"

If you haven't read the app reviews of ARCore by Google on the PlayStore yet, you're really missing out

It's a sad, sad day when your app gets its first one star review... 😢

I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm leaving this company in less than a month and I'm so fucking pissed. No matter how fast I work, I ALWAYS end up not getting PR reviews FOR WEEKS. I POSTED A PATCH FOR AN ABSOLUTE BLOCKER THAT HAS MAYBE 20 LINES AND I STILL DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING REVIEWS A WEEK LATER. WHAT THE FUCK. Not to mention that bigger feature I've been working on that blocks subsequent dev steps. It's been, what, a month? And not a single review. The fuck am I supposed to do?

When you haven't bought the item yet but just want to inquire about it, give it a low rating. 'coz that's how the product reviews section works.

Half fact: Code reviews help to maintain clean codebases.
Full fact: Code reviews are a way to find out who secretly wants you fired.

Am I the only one that down votes reviews for an app just because the review is from someone who's incompetent?

For example: major new release, so of course there's going to be bugs. Person 1 stars and bitches about how great the old version was.

Like ok you incompetent fuck, that's not at all how this shit works.

I ONLY WANT TO WRITE MY OWN CODE

TODAY I FOUND OUT I HATE DOING PR REVIEWS AND HAVING TO GO BACK AND FORTH WITH PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT THEY DID IN THEIR CODE

I'm sure it's beneficial, but it FEELS like such a waste of time

Random guy at work pushed this to production today...

var i = 0;
do { // DO NOT DELETE THIS! }
while (i < 1);
....
doImportantThing();

And my boss keeps saying code reviews are overrated, lol.

Paid reviews (smh)

You know a website launch is going to go smoothly when:
1) it survives multiple reviews,
2) it's packaged up and sent to the client,
3) client tells you there's incorrect info,
4) incorrect info matches current site, and
5) client doesn't provide the correct info.

😑

what the fuck, going through user reviews and seeing countless 1-star reviews about "there are ads at the bottom" or "premium features cost money"

meanwhile, on my side, I am lossing money because of API fees so THEY can experience the app. I would love to make the app free, but I can not. they should try being a dev for a day

Introducing the unified standard of quality measurement.

WTFs/Minute

is a new standard coming from code reviews, which also applies to movies, porn, women, ....

what's your opinion ?

Pissed that employers try to post fake happy reviews RIGHT AFTER a bad review. How about fixing your company and not treating people like crap?!

that awesome feeling when someone gives your app a 5 star and leaves an amazing review :D

When that one guy only points out in reviews missing semicolons and sapace/tabs issues. He could be reviewing 'return x/0' and will just say "you are missing ; after 0 mate".

Code reviews be like

Damn those "realistic" reviews 😂

Today I am thankful that at my company, nobody is going to get offended during code reviews when they see my SPI driver using terms like master/slave. GG company!

PR reviews, people leave great comment, some suggestions and there could be a discussion.

But please don't be the person who goes there and add those weird and useless comments such: "CI failed, your PR is behind dev branch..."
That's the role of the provider(Github, Bitbucket.....) and adding that comment is just a waste of time.

This start to happen more often and I had to rant about it :D

The moment you find an ex-colleague used code comments to take someones mobile number, then accidentally committed it. It's been there over a year!

I fukin hate App reviews in Apple Store :/ My app, basic cordova webview and Onesignal push, was rejected again! For fifth time! Now for IPv6 in-compatibility.

Sometimes I wish there was a middle finger emoji on GitHub PR reviews

I wouldn't mind a "quick project review" on devRant, where you can post your website or some images of your project and get quick reviews (suggestions) of the UI/UX.

What's your opinion on this?

When my mentor said no Code Reviews during my internship..

Saw these reviews today on the store, they sound like the good and bad conscience.

For your Glassdoor needs:
document.getElementsByClassName('hardsellOverlay gdGrid')[0].remove()
document.body.style.overflow = "inherit";

A coworker reviews if my applications work from time to time (as it is his job).
*sends request*
"Hey nothing works I can't get a single response"
*I check his request*
S-T-O-P using production users when testing, d#head.

"Are you enjoying this app?
Don't forget to review this app on the store!"

yeah, i did... until this popped up. 😒

I have the best of the very best client on Earth.

A kind who would flat out reject with most depression reviews to our best and hardly committed work whenever an payment installment date is near.

Look, normally I don't give a shit how others code, but when the company's style guide is literally just the statement "use eslint", and I have to do code reviews...we will start to have problems.

In 2020 I want to achieve:
- develop a proper custom deployment tool (for job)
- get my boss to finally approve of me doing code reviews (we have 0 reviews 🙄, tiny company)
- never have to work on WordPress ever again
- develop or set up a company internal package repo (alt. to NPM)
- get a new contract
- get 3 open side projects done

(non-dev)
- buy some more furniture and make the appartment finally cozy and a happy place to live
- finally get over the negative thoughts of that antisocial ex
- go indoor climbing 3 days of the week, to get rid of those developer fat cushions... 😅

Alright, it looks like everyone at this bank, a client, I work for will now start avoiding me. I'm usually the only person that takes the time to review PRs and give a feedback. Everyone just seem to click accept because they can't be bothered.

A few months down the line, they begin to wonder why there is so many tech all over the place.

Good luck to anyone that wants me to review their PRs. I pledge to continue to take the time to review PRs and give feedback. I will not be pressured to click the accept button on what I perceive to be sub-optimal code. So help me God.

App reviews be like

After leaving my previous employers behind, I think I'm finally ready to write negative reviews about them without getting into a rage.

The policies of glasdoor and similar platforms say to review a company, not individuals. However, as the saying goes, "employees don't quit companies, they quit managers". And that is 100% true for me. The reviews I'd write would in large parts be about how managers mistreat the people they're responsible for. In my case even to the point I needed therapy... so really really bad.

I'm not sure how to bring those two things together. Have you made similar experiences? How would you write such reviews? Thanks for any tips.

Just my luck.

Step 1: Get given university assignment.
Step 2: Scrape for latest movie reviews with provided API.
Step 3: Accidentally spoil Star Wars.

Good Idea: Code Reviews

Bad Idea: Code Reviews before your first sip of coffee.

Positive reviews are ok.
Compliments are weird.

I love receiving good reviews on my software.
(negative but constructive feedback is welcome as well, of course)
But receiving compliments, especially in person is really weird.
On the one hand I know that I did a good job, I know that the features are useful and the UI is classy and comfortable. On the other hand I still feel not comfortable receiving compliments for doing something good.
I don't have any social awkwardness and yet this feels so weird.

Am I alone at this?

Long time no rant.
Here's the summary of a review meeting I & team just had with our programming prof:

"You did exactly what I taught you in class, and I don't like it."

"To get a better mark you should've done more than what was required."

"This wasn't a requirement. You should've kept it short."
except we asked about it being a requirement earlier and only got vague answers like "that should be obvious."

Also, printing a class diagram over 2 pages apparently is unacceptable and we should've gone to a copyshop to print that as one page instead.

Nobody reviews my PR into test branch

The only guy who reviews it is the new senior dev who isn't yet used to how the company works, leaves comments about useless stuff and doesn't fucking approve

Jesus fucking Christ

Seriously? 🤔

Fucked up.

Reviewed a code and gave ship it for a colleague's code change.

In a single day, got high severity ticket cut to the team.

I am done. Not going to do anymore code reviews. I suck at it.

Saw a counting variable in code. It was a necessary counting variable, so that is not what this is about.

However, this is a US based company that has a somewhat PC (no cursing) and professional cultural facade.

This variable was called "cnt". How the hell did that one not get caught in peer review? I have gotten dinged for having "possibly offensive" variable names (think Point5Hit though I have never written that as a variable name). It was funny. But I have changed it because that's just lazy.

Be me. Use DDG to search for nearby bowling alleys. DDG provides reviews in form of Yelp. Click "read more" on review. Yelp transfers me to a bogus url, which prompts

"Open in Another App?

Would you like to leave DuckDuckGo to view this content?

No Yes"

And then, without letting me click "No", I get automatically transferred into Yelp's page in the app store, and if I try to go back, I just get redirected again.

Fuck off. I just wanted to read your reviews in the browser. I had no interest of downloading your app just to read a couple of reviews, and I most certa-fuck-inly have no desire to download your shitty app now.

- Code reviews are good for you
- learn and understand your tools
- ask and listen
- if someone writes code for you, delete it and build it again yourself

Doing code reviews on a friday afternoon.. :')

I’ve written at least a dozen bad reviews about my current company on sites like Quora and Glassdoor.

Some of the worst code reviews I had were at my 1st proper workplace which incidentally was the strictest one! I was such a lazy oaf and hated those.

Still don't like code reviews but I do admit those first ones did me a tom of good.

Nowadays when I am the one co ducting them I tend to be more relaxed and chill and not be a nazi coz I still remember the repulsion of my first ones ^^'

What are your reviews on silicon valley?
(The show)

found this great book on web dev web assembly. Reviews? anyone?

Are retros and reviews usually 2 hours long? 🚩🚩

Definition of code reviews in our company:

"Part of work that requires you to scroll to the bottom of the page and click accept button. Looking the changes is optional."

Cross time-zone design reviews are brutal! Feeling super exhausted, explaining shit I designed feels like torture! I mean, just get it!

Those users who'll post reviews for your app on the store in their native Indonesian, German, Arabic or whatever languages automatically assuming that you're a polyglot and you can understand everything. Why not just use English?

I love when devs bitch about the size of PRs on a very standard sized one. They're all related changes that can't be broken up. Do you want the app to be broken between PRs? He spent more time bitching about the size of the diff and telling me how he does it better instead of just reviewing the code. A tip or an ask is one thing, this was a wall of text.

Oh and he still didn't approve the PR, which I know he looked at, and didn't leave any blocking comments.

How long do you think code reviews should be? Ours can run from anywhere between 10 minutes to 4 hours

Stay the fuck on topic

The amount of dailies, sprint reviews or the likes I had where someone started to discuss super specific technical details that only concern like 2 out of the 12 people in the meeting is just insane

Agile coach Agiling: We shouldn't need code reviews as long as there is pair programming.

Me Internally: bad code + bad code doesn't make good code :(

OK! NOBODY MOVE! 🙅

I finally have a candidate for the laptop I want to buy. 😁

MSI modern 15 A5M

Anybody used it? Anybody got something against it?

Just went through EOY reviews. I found out in my own review that someone made the questionable decision to give me a raise and a promotion I'm not sure if I deserve... however why I'm really stoked is because its the first time I've gotten to promote one of my juniors! Now *that* is a really rewarding feeling because the dude certainly went balls deep and earned it, and I have the power to validate that.

@dfox I saw a few posts lately, about websites that people did. So besides the collabs, I'd like to suggest a new section. "DevReviews" or what ever. The basical idea is, every one, that is signed up gets one "token" devRant ++ suporters maybee an additional free token every months or whatever.
If you wan't your website reviewed, you can post it there and people reviewing it will get such a token for their review.
To ensure a certain quality of the reviews, I'd put a minimum caracter length and a "dispute" function, where the review is taken to a community voting, if the person giving the review should get the token, or if the review should be dismissed. Additional "tokens" for additional/more reviews can be bought through the app, that could help a lot of devs get quality reviews and testing and earn you some $ for the servers.

whenever I ask for PR/MR reviews.

I know I shouldn't. I can't help myself. I present my work, my baby, for their trial.

Co-worker put up a pull-request for his work, with no build file, no readme, no gitignore, and shell scripts for running the app (but not compiling it). O_o

The guy has been using atom editor even though we have license for Intellij for everyone, which .. whatever .. if it works for you...

In our daily stand, people offered to help him add the build files and he was like, "No, I know how to do it, I was just trying to avoid using Gradle until I had to."

It just made me think, "Yea I know you have all these nice screw drivers and hammers, but I'm going to keep using my hands and this stick so I can avoid using tools until I have to."

When your code reviews are marked as either "on fleek" or "shady a f"

I forgot to create a branch and pushed directly to master...

Thankfully nobody reviews my code in this project or gives a shit anyways

My big grievances when doing code reviews, lots of code reviews....

Constants. How difficult is to create constants files for reuse and readability?

Comments/java doc. I don't get any help by seeing this is an automatically generated block to get by check style.

*slap*

Why comment on the same thing during code review??

I submitted a PR and had to make a design choice that propagated throughout the module i was working on.

During code review, my coworker commented on every...single...line that this change effected asking "why are we doing x here?" instead of just creating ONE SINGLE THREAD with this question for discussion. There were at least 10 review comments on github from their one review that said "why X?"

Is this normal? Ive only had a few programming jobs and this is the first time this has happened to me.

personally, when someone makes a choice like that, i just make a comment and save the rest of the review until that is addressed.

I was searching for reviews for MX Master, and have never seen so many gamers get pissed of by a mouse not being aimed at their demographic!

So I'm working on some changes to a feature that a few of our consultants made during the duration of a month. It's really bad. Practically unworkable. Damn I wish we did better code reviews...

My friends are getting married and having kids and I'm having pitiful arguments over the most pathetic and useless discussions ever in my code reviews in a brain eating job with no end in sight.

Hi all,
I want to get advice about a VPN Service,

Currently NordVPN giving away 75% discount for 3 years subscription which costs $107.55,

Any of you have experience with their service?

Need reviews or opinions

The rest of my team do code reviews like human linters (not very well). I love the look on their faces when I volunteer to review their changes.

If you want to see the level of stupidity some indians have, see the reviews on snapchat's android app on play store in the last day or two.

"Reviewer 2 is always a bitch"

Aaaaaaaand I'm looking at gloomy reviews which means my paper is gonna get rejected soon. Why oh god why!

(Actually, I know why, and maybe this is for the best, since I pulled the method out of my arse because I found out environments were unstable and had to nag about it to not fully lose a year's worth of investigative work. But also, this is my first conference rejection. Literally. 😐)

... There's a slight chance one of the reviews might save me tho, so keep your fingers and toes crossed for me, pleaeaeaeaeaeaeaaeaease! 🙏🏻

Working on my first Android app. 🤔🤷🏾‍♂️

I've heard mixed reviews about building Android apps. I've used Xcode to build apps before, I'm sure it's the same lol 😂

Do people just see reviews (if any kind of work) as an admin task? Just a box to tick on the way to production?

Seems like it is here.

This is how my coworker does code reviews... imagine comment on a line of code:

"Oh why does this not do this and that.
Edit: Oh I've read few lines below, now I understand. But this may break when this and that.
Edit: Nevermind I realized, that never happens, forget about it."

Let me just emphasise, that this is single comment, so it's basically editted multiple times, before submition.

Like wtf, just delete the comment then?!

What if the reviewer gives you bad reviews that lead to bad code, and you can't defend because he couldn't understand the shit you're talking about?

Always be curious. Question everything, ask and accept critics and reviews by your peers.

Waiting for my demo video to finish compiling and trying not to think of awful reviews I'm gonna get on my paper next year. 😐 #AnxietyIsConsistentlyFun

Nothing says I hate mondays more than reviewing a massive PR

I have spent my entire day code reviewing thinking ...
This developer must think all the lines are fighting with one another ..

I kid you not ! Every line of code has white space between it ....

To top it off ... all strings are initialized new String() then assigned to constants ......

*sigh*

When the PM has been letting a fresh faced graduate loose on a codebase without any code reviews and you come back to some cronenburg level horror in your now crippled project. But it LOOKS like the mock ups.... * internal screaming *

Junior newbie dev here.
I want to buy "Clean code" by Robert C Martin. Its tad bit pricy here in india.
I wanted other devs (especially senior devs) opinion on the book. Is it worth the buy ? What are your reviews ?

New guy hasn't written or commuted any code, yet he is the most annoying person doing code reviews with bullshit comments.

Normally when I start at a new shop, I hold off on code reviews until I'm at least familiar with the project(s).

This Pull Requests requires code reviews from four different teams, and most people in those teams are in timezones where they're already off work and I just started. 😩

!rant

hey dev's,
I need help for choosing laptop.
I will need it for deep learning.

DELL G7 7588
config:
pro : i9-8950HK
gpu : GTX 1060
ram : 16 gb ddr4
ssd : 512
hdd : 1TB

your reviews please

When you hate doing reviews with your boss cuz he doesn't know what to say...

People who speak in puzzles during code reviews - fuck you! Just say what you want to say without being philosophical about it. Want me to change the name of a function? Let me know, instead of ranting on about some other shit. I should not have to ask you twice for every god damn comment what you mean, you prick. It’s just annoying and a waste of time.

In code reviews they are whining about formatting with spaces and newlines and naming.

The fact that they are too bored to write unit tests and code coverage cannot reach 20%? Isn't it just sad?

So 20 years ago people were laughing about the reviews on Amazon for sugarless gummy bears. I decided to check to see if anything in that regard has changed. I selected two brands to look at reviews. Both brands in the first few reviews had a great amount of entertaining reviews. I was reminded once again of how despite people having issues with them for over 20 years that they continue to sell.

This just reminds me of why products that are seemingly broken still have a market. Its not just our industry. Its all industries.

This is the first company I've been at without annual performance reviews. Employees are supposed to go to their manager when they feel they deserve a pay increase and start and undocumented process of writing up their contributions for the year. No standard cost of living increases.

I know reviews are so I can show my progress and let you tell me what you think. Just, please don’t tell me to click irrelevant buttons, trust me, there’s really nothing there.

Is the past repeating itself? Am I in that situation again where I, as a junior developer, is left to my own devices on a project, with no code reviews, and with features being added/changed as they wish? 😟

Are we at the point where the MVP of every dev app (at the very least) should have a dark mode?!
I have seen app reviews that literally said: "Great app! Love it! Giving a 4 because it doesn't have dark mode!"
Like wtf!!!!!

Dude i asked you to review my pull request because i thought we were cool. The code change is about a simple rename, SO FUCK OFF WITH THE REFACTOR SUGGESTIONS. STOP DOING THAT TO MY CODE REVIEWS

Recruiter contacted me about a job via email. Being the intrepid dev, I GlassDoor'd them. Nothing but shit reviews, so I told him no thanks.

"Oh we've seen the reviews and we're really trying to get our stuff together."

"Not on my back, you won't. I'm not going from the frying pan into the fire. "

He sent me more email asking me to reconsider. If you have shit reviews and have to beg people, uhh, are you that stupid to think anyone will come work for you?

There’s immense power in being perceptive to what your business prioritizes for the rank and file versus what the business prioritizes for *itself*.

Like for example pushing to get individual performance reviews done with an exceeding pressure of a certain drop dead date while suddenly but simultaneously relaxing of any similar immediacy of completing management reviews.

🧐

Talk amongst yourselves.

That moment when a peer who is pretty tough on you during code reviews is super easy on others 😒. Just annoying

Has anyone else used CodeBeat before? I just started an open source project that I plan to publish onto NPM so I created a public GitHub repo. Saw a marketplace tab and thought what the heck let's try it out. Found automated code reviewing software and gosh darn! Their GPA style grading system makes me want to write some pretty efficient code!

Has anyone else had the pleasure of using it?

Refactoring code to meet style guide..... 20 bucks says outside of my code reviews no one will look at it for years.

Two reviewers two comments on the same content, both comments conflict with each other and I'm required to apply both, how exactly?

how can this fucktard make so many errors in his fucking 50 lines of code.
i need a motherfucking punching bag or im getting some health issues maintaining this code any longer. DO REVIEWS GUYS!!!! IM TELLLING YOU!!!!

Have to do 80 hours of work in 40
*quits job, start at a new place*
Now I mostly wait for test and code reviews and are fucking bored...

Guess I have to start 100% freelancing soon 🙃

Any reviews on Udacity Data Analyst Nanodegree program? Anyone would like to share your experience?

Having only 1 colleague who can approve them and they are a lazy ass, always taking 2 days for revievs as hard as… removing an empty line and fixing a typo.

How tf did they give this person a degree.

rip cubeworld.
released and already about 70% of reviews negative

In my 6 years of dev career I never had a mentor. Only some colleagues who drop comments during reviews here and there.

Formal peer code reviews... Reality or Myth?

I have seen it as a myth. Never enough time and budget to implement.

Some freelancers give a bad reputation to the community. There are genuine amazing developers but clients source to companies instead because of their bad experiences.

Things such as reviews and such don't mater much anymore.

Not having any code reviews

AND

Not even merge requests...

Shiiiiiiiiiiit.... where am I ?!

I’ve really been meaning to buy “Introduction to Algorithms” (Thomas Cormen) for a while but I’m seeing a bit of poor reviews on goodreads. Any of you guys read it? Is it good for someone just starting out in software development?

Hostinger reviews? Does anyone here ever used hostinger premium hosting?

Politics. Dealing with people, making sure you check in with everyone at all times, making sure you don't seem harsh in code reviews. It's all just too fucking complicated. Just let me build shit.

Never go live without legit scrutiny! If you are freelancing, ask a good friend who codes or someone you trust.

But never go live without code reviews!!!

Mid hackathon reviews.
It kills the excitement that a judge might have seeing the thing for the first time in the final review.
Instead the final review becomes - "Hey, what did you improve from the last time?"

**Its not a fucking sprint**

Writing my first code review. Even though it really is a nice review and I'm happy with the solution code, I still somehow feel like an asshole for each critique I make. Maybe it's unavoidable with code reviews / pull requests?

Sometimes an intern comes to me, and tells me how I should be writing code. I'm thinking should i take it out at the end during his performance reviews.

when a senior likes to kick up a fuss on PR reviews, you'll do whatever dumbass shit they want in most cases, assuming it works

but its a relief when a tech lead or architect tells them to fuck off

Today I watched Grave of the Fireflies and I didn't find it sad.

I have seen so many reviews online that people cried like a bitch. But nope, none of that for me.

Am I just a psychopath?

I'm joining a startup next month and they are working on a project that requires knowledge of a unique framework and it's architecture. They know I'm mostly free this month and so they have asked me (in a time frame) to learn and perform certain tasks. They have also scheduled reviews to track progress.

tl;dr: Company wants me to learn stuff before joining and schedule reviews.

Is this behavior normal or/and appropriate?

I’m the only junior software engineer at a small startup where I do mostly web development, as well as other bits and pieces (automation, ci/cd, etc)

Our software team is extremely small so we do not have anyone dedicated to QA. I usually just ask a team members with related experience to review my merge requests. So if I have a merge request for our ci/cd, I ask the software engineer with the most ci/cd experience to review the MR.

Recently I realized that my MRs will usually sit for days, and sometimes weeks without the reviewers taking a look. And when they eventually do, they don’t even run the code. It seems like they just gloss over it and look for obvious syntax or logic errors.

It makes me feel as if my code and efforts do not have much value to our team.

It also pisses me off because whenever a issue happens in our codebase, me and my code is the first thing blamed even if my code is not the issue

Is this typical in other companies? Or is this something I should speak to my boss about?

Our manager is in tons of meetings all the time. He sees himself as our architect, and he has read and approved code reviews. Yet when he does get time to code and submits his own massive weekend coding binge pull requests, they're often entirely different from everything we've written to this point.

Instead of trying to be consistent with the work we've currently done, he continually argues any comments we make in the code review. I want to be like, "If you wanted it this way you should have designed it this way instead of giving us a bunch of empty class files an interfaces with terrible names."

So... Three of us have the task to do security reviews for one team... As to who reviews what, we decided on the basic algo of assigning an index to our names and then doing (ticket number) % 3 to get the index and therefore the reviewer for that task... Simple enough, but still you need to modulo the number and remember your index so I created a simple .html file so we can easily see who reviews which ticket by inputting the ticket number... In a hurry I named it whoreview.html
Today, the manager saw it and said to rename it before HR gets involved :D

Become a better programmer tip 1: write large amount of code everyday. Read and understand large amount of code every day. Plus have to do self reviews after each small tasks.

So I'm getting a new job in a legal software company and I wanted to ask your opinion on computers. I know many are very biased towards OSX and windows and prefer linux but I'm trying my luck lmao.

I'm currently on a late 2012 macbook pro and its starting to fizzle out on me.

Not a bit fan of the new macbooks because of dongles and no direct HDMI. I was wondering if the surface laptop 2 was any good compared? All the reviews online are basically paid to praise it and the reviews on reddit are polarized. I prefer laptops that are thin and in aluminum.

Anyone here got Nokia 6.1? Any reviews? I like the phone but debating if its right for US market..they claim band 29 and 30 are not supported