-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

Who has been in these meetings?

Please comment 😁

Ok WTF

Karma ♋️

Karma XD

Meow all the meows

Your code is your karma 😅

Me: arrives in office plugin laptop
Laptop: ok let's a start windows
Windows: hello, welcome back!
Me: opens Android Studio, VS code, Nativescript Sidekick ... Continue work where I took off before Christmas
Windows: lets reboot this bitch!
Laptop: Oh lord!
Me:

Who wrote the requirements for this shit?
💩

My favorite css troll rule 😎

* {
display:none;
}

Depression is like email newsletters, nobody signed up for that shit and the unsubscribe link never works 🙈 fuck that 📧

Friend: I don’t need git. Git is for people like you who cant do good backup of their code
Me: Yeah, yeah, go do whatever you like...

2h later comes to me:

Friend: Can you make me repo and show how to use it...?
Me: What..? You drunk?
Friend: Naaah, no... My disk broke while ago...

Karma is a bitch :D

Minimum viable feature 🤔

When pm says jump!
You ask,
From which floor?

TIL: nobody cares about quality, only deadlines

Some people should consider pair programming with a bear

Bug :/ Feature

Devvin' on airport wifi 🤗 killing time

I like my new mug, won it on @boldomatic

FUCKING FUCK JAVASCRIPT AND IT'S FUCKING 10000 DEVDEPENDENCIES.

LET ME FUCKING CODE AND WRITE TESTS AND NOT SPEND FUCKING ONE FUCKITY FUCK WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FUCKING MAKE MOCHA AND KARMA PLAY WITH FUCKING ES6 CODE YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT TECH.

I NO LONGER FUCKING KNOW WHICH PACKAGES I FUCKING NEED AND WHICH I FUCKING DON'T FUCKING DUMBFUCK FUCKWIT OPEN AND HACKABLE MY BROWN ASS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY STACK.

I searched for a ninja emoji... Turns out turtles are considered ninjas in the emoji world #tmnt

I did a thing!

I have never written a single unit test in my life. Hence my code breaks from time to time. Karma is a bitch 🤣

So ... Facebook somehow found out I used a 'fake' rear name and forced me to switch it back ...

So now they can again sell my data, and I am again haunted by stupid ads I don't want ...

Fucking Zuckerberg!!!!

API endpoint 1: needs dates in utc formatting

API endpoint 2: needs dates formatted yyyy-mm-dd

I did not touch a computer in 3 days
\o/

Karma...you're the best.

An ex-team member was complaining to me about his manager reviewing his code. Shortened version of the convo:
Mgr: "Why didn't you use the new C# built-in extension methods?"
Dev: "No reason. I thought using the straight forward approach would be easier to maintain"

Ha!..you conceded, arrogant mother <bleep>er. How many times did I have to listen you berate other developers in code reviews for not using some random C# syntax sugar? Comments like "If you bothered to read the new C# 7.0 language specification like I did...you would have known not to use the string.Format anymore..."

Now you're pissed that the manager embarrassed you? How does it feel d-bag?

That's too evil...so I simply responded "I don't think Nick meant anything negative about your code, he's just trying to help."

Seeing him stir around all pissed off does make me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

</holiday>

I think @marthulu can relate 😄 other dutchies too

2 more interviews tomorrow 🗣️

🛣️ Drove 350km today
😴 Much sleepy
⏰ Such early wake
🚗💨 Many travel

WOW

Recruiter: why did you quit last job
Me: why not? It was worth quitting 🤣

*Awkward silence*

Saw this today, wanted to play dino jump game

My CSS skill so high 😵
increases lineheight↕️
Like lime light 🍋

I was reading about AI, and now I want to buy a self driving car, and set it free... We shouldn't cage up AI in a car, what if it wanted to be an apache helicopter?

Ow wait that's even more scary 🙃

Me: can you add x to y?
Dev: sure mate, done tomorrow
Me: kay thx

Next day:
Dev: ok I added x to z! There you go
Me: infinite facepalm

npm install good-nights-sleep

Project doesn't run ...
32k files in 6k folders ...

Fuck me

When I was younger I would start ironing a shirt poorly knowing full-well my mother would see me doing it badly and take over to do it properly.

Karma is a bitch. Now my colleagues ask me over for help and I normally end up taking over control of their pc to rewrite shit. I swear they do it on purpose.

Boss: this is different from the old console I don't like it

Me: but this has been approved by product management and the team already made estimates and committed to the feature

Boss: Well this needs to change, our existing users will not like it

Me: This is far from agile to be honest, and the change came from user feedback analysis

Boss: You are not doing your work *swears and curses* this is against the team direction!

Me: then why was this committed on this sprint? All I did was facilitate the needs of the team to proceed development.

Boss: *runs out office and starts calling other bosses to boss around*

Runs in 5 minutes later, saying we are not allowed to destroy a feature with enhancements like this.

Me: *Infinite facepalm*

*{
display:none;
}

Hired a designer below me.. guy never wrote a full back nor frontend... Used npm shit for all his solutions and worked his way above me just by kissing ass and polluting the codebase in such a way 70% would be open source shitty plugins for shit he could not do by himself code wise...

At some point he assigned some of his tasks to me and I couldn't work with his patchy framework that was non existent within the codebase I worked on ...

At some point between npm installed tantrums I got pulled up to HR because my code quality dropped... And it was this fucktart that accused me of this saying I could not do modern development...

In the end I either had to butkiss after his butts or just quit, so I did the latter... I told him and HR I owned alot more code quality than this asshat but just not his way of working and therefor it was more an issue of code equality I was never aware of ...

A month after that the company got overtaken by some silicon valley bullshit company buying up competition, and he is still working within that shithole dealing with 90's tech...

Was the best thing that happened to me, after that I grew alot in skillset and such by investments from other jobs and projects... If I would still work there today I would consider myself a caveman

So... Hieroglyphic keyboard anyone?

After 2 interviews and an make home and pitch project...

'Sorry we were not really looking for a new frontend developer'

Like... How?!?!

I once saved lives sending cpr teams to heart attack victims through an sms gateway platform.

This was amazing considering it was back in 2008 ;)

Guesstimations :/

Frontend vs Backend

One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).

Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'

This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"

Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best.

Hackerman walks into a bar

I feel broken, but debugging would require some bio engineering ... So ... MEH 🤷‍♂️

You have 38 missed recruiter calls

Go deprecate yourself kind sir!

The moment you realize, you are not getting your own website's Google Analytics information because of your Ghostry and Ad block plus installed :|

It hurts 10 folds when you spend 8 hours in debugging and on SO before epiphany ://

Karma is a Bitch :|

Headhunter: what is your motivation to work here
Me: you contacted me about this role
Headhunter: *sigh*
Me: 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

I'ma done did a POC today, arr!

Suggesting haha.length

The important thing in life 🤨

Holiday apartment has no wifi 😭 WILSONNNNNNNNNNN

Agreed on an offer from company X... Told them I'd sign the contract on my first working day, still a week away.

The offer had a lower salary than my previous job, I needed to relocate, and travel costs were not covered. It was a step back for me but I really needed a new job.

After the weekend I got an invitation for another interview... All went well and the perks were better than the offer made by company X.

Next day I had the second interview and they were very excited and offered me a contract.

Contract came in on friday, signed it and called company X that I'd like to reject the position after reconsidering my options...

Boy were they pissed off 😂

Its so hot in the office, makes it hard to dev and focus 😅

So firewall blocks internal demo 🤗 ohwell

npm install unemployment

Okay karma, why?!

I made some backup scripts, it should dump our MongoDB every 30 Minutes... Nope I didn't test if there's something in the tar and yes it's my fault but now we needed this backup AND THE ONLY BACKUP SCRIPT WHICH DIDN'T WORK WAS THE ONE WHICH BACKUPS THE DATABASE...

COME OOOOON

Interesting 🤔🤔🤔

At the office, if I remember I'll also post the home setup

Fuck this fucking docker bullshit allready

Holiday was gud 🤩 Now some rest and work tomorrow 😴 If anyone wants some good steaks for dinner, I could put my calves up on ebay for a nice price 🤣

2 recruiters for the same joblisting...
Lets see who has the best bluff 😋🤔😉

2 bugs fixed... Now time to count the newly added ones 🤦‍♂️ smh

That monday at work after a holiday

New job starts june 19!
Then Iceland the week after that 😍
One week to dev around and upgrade my website abit 😁

Tripple double espresso... GO!!

So a month after being rejected for a position because it is was the holiday season and the cogs were turning slowly...

Fucking bitch (ceo of corp) contacts me and invites me for another talk

Look lady, I landed another job while you didn't want me at that timeframe and your cogs needed oil... Tough loss ain't it lol 😳🙈

Why is it called shutdown and not shutup

So testing starts in 2 weeks ... lets change the api and micro manage the UI before that 🙄

So ... Yeah ... I survived a week in my holiday apartment with no wifi...

Now to wait for that phone bill 😂 oh well

Is the array half full or half empty 🤔🤔

//Girlfriend asks question
If(answer != desiredanswer){
return false;
}

Treeson aiding me in lack of rubber ducky

Write comments like Morgan Freeman describes how the software was build.

In other news ... The company that booted me and 5 colleagues in april had a water leak and now the entire sales floor was flooded, resulting in +10.000 euro water damage 🤣 good luck making your Q1 sales targets 🤣

Karma much bitches 😂

Installs Plugin to do certain tasks _faster_ on Android Studio..
.
.
Android Studio loads/runs _slow_ because of certain Plugins..
.
INSTANT KARMA 👏🏼 👏🏼

Tomorrow starts my new job 🤔
Am I gonna rant more 😝
Or maybe less 🤐

Go devrant, place your bets!

Scrum master, scrum faster

{"message": "Please wait a few minutes before you try again.", "status": "fail"}

Instagram tries bigdata on #hashtags

Rubber duckies? Check my Dunny army 😍😍😍

This ! :/

saturday(){
return tldr;
}

Design: a solution to a problem
Art: a question to a problem

When i downvote a rant I always upvote 2 others to keep a good karma

Hate it when PO assigns an issue to me when it's five to beer o clock

Karma works 24/7, but we might need to do some catching up sometimes 😂👍

Don't use tables!!! Tables are bad MKAY??

said the designer that needs to tripple wrap links to render them as buttons...

3...
2...
1...
Facepalm.init()

First week on the new job was awesome 🤗 Iceland work visit next week 😍

let gfInput = '';
try {
gfInput = getInput('Will you marry me? ')
if(gfInput == 'Y'){
// KISS HER
}else{
throw {msg: 'she dumped you.', code: 'red'}
}
} catch( err ) {
//if err.code !== red . just cry but if red... uh oh
if(err.code == 'red'){
// GOTTA DO SOME DAMAGE
let msg = {
sender: 'anonymous',
recipients : ['dad', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'uncle'],
messageBody: '****ntha has been fucking some dude...'
}

sendText(msg);
}
} finally{
// send ****ntha a good bye message
var msg = {
sender: 'pk359',
recipients: ['****ntha'],
messageBody: 'I invite you ****ntha to my wedding with your best friend *licia. PEACE, bit*h'
}
sendText(msg)
}

When I look at the clock in 2018
And its like 20:18
Then be like 🤷‍♂️ 👽

7 hour dev call 🤨

Yay ...
No more !important in SCSS...
All colors pulled from variables...
Such code ... Very clean 😂

So ... another week of job hunting down the drain 😄 its getting boring guys 🙄

Useless

Created 2 pull requests 🙄
They will get rejected tho 🤔

Great... None of my coworkers know about this tiny bit of undocumented code, and the guy who wrote it, I replaced ... Fucks sake ... Next weeks gonna be hellish

Its 2018 ... And we just had a full hour power outage 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Just npm install
Then npm run dev

Aaand

Nothing works

10.00-16.00 conference call...
It's a trap!

Friday :/ just me and one support guy in office 👍 fun

You are not prioritizing your work!!!

Well I am but you keep throwing more work in my direction on like a daily basis ...

Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."

*CLICK*

Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉

Aced the interview
Did not forget bag this time 😂😉

So they were renovating the toilets on my floor this week and despite all the noise from the drilling and taking down walls I was very productive 😍

Dat moment when @billgates ++ your rant 😍

Proposal is in, Iceland here I come 😇
#signherepls

Dat new job 🎉

One day, to job offers to choose from

Today was a good day 🤣🤞

Aaaaah fuck, there goes the paycheck 😭

After 2 weeks I really like it here on devrant... And its mostly because we all somewhat face the same shit together today, every day. And still we continue.

That is what dev is all about 😃

I am hoping this is based on an array 😂

Making a playlist is really easy when you are drunk

Somehow I keep thinging that dyson is judging my cooking skills when I see this, all I smell is spices and herbs but nooooooo

Mr air quality do not approve

So, who here plays ingress... What faction?

Installing android studio

Comboboxes with inline checkbox for multiselect 😂

That moment you want to shazaam a song in the bar... Then open up skype and before you recall what app you wanted to open the song just ended ://

We had a zx spectrum with a rubber keyboard.

Later we switched to the c64 and we wrecked a shitload of controllers 🤪

Mockups are just memes without clear requirements ... There I said it!

Jan: hello endpoint x is missing
April: hello endpoint x is still missing

//Angular introduction
ng-hell="oWorld()"

File caching issues as bugs 🤗

When devRant teaches u perfect "Karma".

This was a coincidence!

I got 100++ and I upvoted 100++

CSS !important ninja turtles 🐢

PO: Is it done yet?
PO: Whats the status?
PO: Any progress??

My brain: Did we have requirements for this, or just a deadline

So @dfox ... when I subscribe to people, why not show their posts in my feed??? This is overuse of the notifications system I think...

Six job interviews in one week
And now
I be tired

Best practice is just a theory 😂

This ea shit is so damn glitchy 🙄🙄

Office internet down :/ boredddd

I mostly learn from myself and pick sectors to work within, thus far:

Sms ~ 2002
E-health ~ 2004
Workspace virtualization ~2011
E-commerce ~ 2017

Run-time error occured in file: undefined at line: undefined and column: undefined

I am so tired 😧
Hope I can continue 😕

To overtime ... or not to overtime ...

That's the question 🤔🔫

Fuck this IOS provisioning hell
Fuck this firebase cloud messaging plugin
Fuck outdated documentation of said plugin
Fuck unsolved issues from about 3 years ago on SO

Fuck it all

I love it when docker just decides to kill my containers 🤪🤪🤪

I bought an aquarium, needs some weekly maintenance, is very comforting to watch and it is nice to see things grow.

Whoa who took a designer dump on the new twitter web UI 😵 this shit is fugly!

So ... All my favorite shops are either closed or closing down soon...

Thank you online shops I guess

Very tired lately, also not very hungry ... And when I am hungry the food just doesn't taste like it used to 🤔 anyone had something lik this and maybe some tips on how to battle this?!

Ethics: mandatory ethics training

So my contract won't get extended :/
They want to centralize the team in the uk before the brexit... so... Fuck

Happy new devs 😉

Went out for a drink after work ... Ran into my boss, and I think he might be quite the mentor

Missed the checkin timeframe for my flight by 10 minutes ... Next flight is tomorrow 🙄 fuuuu

Watching Aggretsuko, quite it relatable

Working the weekend 😄

Interviews on
Thursday
Friday
Monday
Wednesday

MKAY

I just noticed there are loads of docker memes out there on the web 😋 amusing

Finished all my tasks for senior promotion ... Teamlead was like ... What promotion? I thought you wanted to stay medior? RLLY????

While he kissed asses for his senior promotion, not even having a skillset for teamlead nor senior...

My candy jar's name is hacks 🥴👍

Just remember, the guy that wrote JavaScript was a noob too

With every day that passes, I more and more want to do something else as a profession...

But WHAT?!?!

Played with the hololens today ... Its kinda nice but felt a bit glitchy in use ... Have to play with it some more

Rantlog stardate 18052017
Still no pet to pet

*Overpetting rubber ducky*

Why no pet goats tho 🤔

The typos are strong with this one

Dev less, earn more

Wand making and cutting

Avada Kedavra!!!!

The more songs and the more photos you put on your phone, the heavier it gets. Only by a trillion-billionth of the tiniest fraction of an ounce, but still

Had to swap my devrant outfit...
I was smelly 🙄
And now there is ink on my arm 😍

I've spent some days converting paddings on wrappers into margins for it's children, because our lead designer was a pure genius 🙋‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Client called, they have enough budget to tap into a new audience 🤔 WHAT?!?!?!?!

I had a developer put the css font declaration on every css class, instead of the body... The site used just one font 🤔😂

So, yesterdays power outage ... Killed my xbox one... Dhammit Microsoft!!!

oh joyyy

Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign?

If there is no data, it's kind of hard to return it isn't it?????

I think I get the tabs vs spaces thingy now 😄

Yup ... Shuddhavedonetranslationsfromdayone

body {
overflow: hidden;
}
// For noob designers

GDPR course :/

Interview went well, oh well 😄

Uninstalling android studio

🤔 Effective waste of evening

ng-if="goDrink(me)"

Sms gateway 😃 back in the day

Mandatory training ... Coarse introduction video crashes 20 secs before end, can only proceed with the coarse by finishing the introduction video ... 🤦‍♂️🙈🤷‍♂️

So my recruiter decided to calc his own bruto salary(gross) over my netto one...

Turns out he missed about 800 euro in his conversion ratio... Motherfucker ... That sets me back 5 years in salary u asshole 😶

Works on my atari

Left my bag in the interview room 😥
Not so good first impression 🤣
🤔Fuuuuk meeeeee🙄

Scopechange and roadmap editing meetings, felt like a full team keelhaul 🤕

Can drop shadows 🤔 drop shadows?

I just started habitica ... Its like an rpg taskmanager ... This is fucking great

Not mentoring per say...

But I've had some colleagues that took quitting the job to another level, which can be just as inspiring as a good mentor

People that reply to all on every mail... Please die?

Estimation * 3 === always

Is it just me or is it just really hard to set up and test frontend JavaScript? 🤔

Karma + Mocha + Chai + whatever
is a pain

And it doesn't look very pretty..

So yesterday I heard that after they let my previous contract expire, all other front enders also left... Awesum!

DAMAPAFIL!

I justed pushed the stupidest button to push 🤦‍♂️👍 go me go

The office below us they do tax consulting ... One of the guys there was drinking beer as I walked past their reception... It's 9:39 for fucks sake 🤷‍♂️

Got rejected for an UX designer position turns out they were realy looking for a UX tester with project leadership skills 🤗 does that even mix bro???

Note to self 🤔 never apply for jobs there in the future 🤔