-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

Ok WTF

Who has been in these meetings?

Please comment 😁

Karma ♋️

Karma XD

Meow all the meows

Your code is your karma 😅

Me: arrives in office plugin laptop
Laptop: ok let's a start windows
Windows: hello, welcome back!
Me: opens Android Studio, VS code, Nativescript Sidekick ... Continue work where I took off before Christmas
Windows: lets reboot this bitch!
Laptop: Oh lord!
Me:

Who wrote the requirements for this shit?
💩

My favorite css troll rule 😎

* {
display:none;
}

Minimum viable feature 🤔

Friend: I don’t need git. Git is for people like you who cant do good backup of their code
Me: Yeah, yeah, go do whatever you like...

2h later comes to me:

Friend: Can you make me repo and show how to use it...?
Me: What..? You drunk?
Friend: Naaah, no... My disk broke while ago...

Karma is a bitch :D

Some people should consider pair programming with a bear

The new app passed apple review on the first go... wait... what?!?!

Once I had to do a 'hands on' pair programming session for a position I applied for... Together with the lead dev we would switch coding every 15 minutes It was somewhat of a horror story...

The assignment was to implement an password reset flow, connecting it to the api and then handling the entire password reset flow, in Angular becahs ye know has to be Angular...

After drafting the ui and setting up the click events, I wanted to hookup the api calls, but then it was time to switch around...

The fucktard dev first started to adjust my classmappings to be more in line with his preference, without touching the css classnames... Ok... Micro managing ... Check...

So after breaking the styles, he wrote the fetches to the api endpoints and that was his 15 minutes of shame...

I continued only to find out the endpoints we were using had errors in them and would not return anything workable...

The dev said he'd tested the endpoint before and it worked, but clearly it didn't...

After about an hour of going back and forth trying to get this to work he got a call from a client because server was down (surprise), he excused himself and had to prioritize on this, running out and leaving me there for the remaining morning ...

I just sat there waiting for the HR checkout talk, only to lean towards rejecting the position...

Fucking waste of time, and in the end the feedback was they doubted MY TECHNICAL SKILLS ... And wouldn't make me an offer 😂👍 nice story bro...

K THX BAI!

Feels like I am coding with mittens on today ... Sloowwww prooogressss ... Isit weekend yet? Pretty please?

Bug :/ Feature

Devvin' on airport wifi 🤗 killing time

FUCKING FUCK JAVASCRIPT AND IT'S FUCKING 10000 DEVDEPENDENCIES.

LET ME FUCKING CODE AND WRITE TESTS AND NOT SPEND FUCKING ONE FUCKITY FUCK WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FUCKING MAKE MOCHA AND KARMA PLAY WITH FUCKING ES6 CODE YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT TECH.

I NO LONGER FUCKING KNOW WHICH PACKAGES I FUCKING NEED AND WHICH I FUCKING DON'T FUCKING DUMBFUCK FUCKWIT OPEN AND HACKABLE MY BROWN ASS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY STACK.

I have never written a single unit test in my life. Hence my code breaks from time to time. Karma is a bitch 🤣

I searched for a ninja emoji... Turns out turtles are considered ninjas in the emoji world #tmnt

So ... Facebook somehow found out I used a 'fake' rear name and forced me to switch it back ...

So now they can again sell my data, and I am again haunted by stupid ads I don't want ...

Fucking Zuckerberg!!!!

API endpoint 1: needs dates in utc formatting

API endpoint 2: needs dates formatted yyyy-mm-dd

I found my 1989 GAMEBOY ... Motherfucker still works like a charm 🥰 now to find my nokia 3310 and I'm ready to travel back in time and escape the COVID19

I did not touch a computer in 3 days
\o/

Karma...you're the best.

An ex-team member was complaining to me about his manager reviewing his code. Shortened version of the convo:
Mgr: "Why didn't you use the new C# built-in extension methods?"
Dev: "No reason. I thought using the straight forward approach would be easier to maintain"

Ha!..you conceded, arrogant mother <bleep>er. How many times did I have to listen you berate other developers in code reviews for not using some random C# syntax sugar? Comments like "If you bothered to read the new C# 7.0 language specification like I did...you would have known not to use the string.Format anymore..."

Now you're pissed that the manager embarrassed you? How does it feel d-bag?

That's too evil...so I simply responded "I don't think Nick meant anything negative about your code, he's just trying to help."

Seeing him stir around all pissed off does make me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

I think @marthulu can relate 😄 other dutchies too

</holiday>

My CSS skill so high 😵
increases lineheight↕️
Like lime light 🍋

I was reading about AI, and now I want to buy a self driving car, and set it free... We shouldn't cage up AI in a car, what if it wanted to be an apache helicopter?

Ow wait that's even more scary 🙃

2 more interviews tomorrow 🗣️

🛣️ Drove 350km today
😴 Much sleepy
⏰ Such early wake
🚗💨 Many travel

WOW

Recruiter: why did you quit last job
Me: why not? It was worth quitting 🤣

*Awkward silence*

Ow hello depression, how ya been my old friend 🤦‍♂️

npm install good-nights-sleep

Simpsons did it first!

Oh boy, next week has been exhausting 🤔

So the HR person who made my life hell about 2 years ago, got fired immediately before the Corona-madness started. And they are still unemployed. Karma is such a glorious bitch.

When I was younger I would start ironing a shirt poorly knowing full-well my mother would see me doing it badly and take over to do it properly.

Karma is a bitch. Now my colleagues ask me over for help and I normally end up taking over control of their pc to rewrite shit. I swear they do it on purpose.

Project doesn't run ...
32k files in 6k folders ...

Fuck me

Boss: this is different from the old console I don't like it

Me: but this has been approved by product management and the team already made estimates and committed to the feature

Boss: Well this needs to change, our existing users will not like it

Me: This is far from agile to be honest, and the change came from user feedback analysis

Boss: You are not doing your work *swears and curses* this is against the team direction!

Me: then why was this committed on this sprint? All I did was facilitate the needs of the team to proceed development.

Boss: *runs out office and starts calling other bosses to boss around*

Runs in 5 minutes later, saying we are not allowed to destroy a feature with enhancements like this.

Me: *Infinite facepalm*

So... Hieroglyphic keyboard anyone?

Ran out of coffee, then ran out of tea...
Waiting for the water to run out now 🙃

After 2 interviews and an make home and pitch project...

'Sorry we were not really looking for a new frontend developer'

Like... How?!?!

One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).

Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'

This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"

Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best.

I once saved lives sending cpr teams to heart attack victims through an sms gateway platform.

This was amazing considering it was back in 2008 ;)

Go deprecate yourself kind sir!

In the last one and a half days I optimized our Angular UnitTests. There‘re written with Karma and Jasmine. Before the optimization they needed ten minutes for around 400 tests. Now the same tests are executed in 12 seconds.

The moment you realize, you are not getting your own website's Google Analytics information because of your Ghostry and Ad block plus installed :|

It hurts 10 folds when you spend 8 hours in debugging and on SO before epiphany ://

Karma is a Bitch :|

Guesstimations :/

Today while looking at the logs, I found an issue.

The attached image describes this issue without going into too much detail about it, so like ... Enjoy I guess 🤷‍♂️ FML

Frontend vs Backend

Suggesting haha.length

The important thing in life 🤨

Fuck this fucking docker bullshit allready

Its so hot in the office, makes it hard to dev and focus 😅

Hey monday ... Fuck you!

So firewall blocks internal demo 🤗 ohwell

Okay karma, why?!

I made some backup scripts, it should dump our MongoDB every 30 Minutes... Nope I didn't test if there's something in the tar and yes it's my fault but now we needed this backup AND THE ONLY BACKUP SCRIPT WHICH DIDN'T WORK WAS THE ONE WHICH BACKUPS THE DATABASE...

COME OOOOON

Agreed on an offer from company X... Told them I'd sign the contract on my first working day, still a week away.

The offer had a lower salary than my previous job, I needed to relocate, and travel costs were not covered. It was a step back for me but I really needed a new job.

After the weekend I got an invitation for another interview... All went well and the perks were better than the offer made by company X.

Next day I had the second interview and they were very excited and offered me a contract.

Contract came in on friday, signed it and called company X that I'd like to reject the position after reconsidering my options...

Boy were they pissed off 😂

Holiday apartment has no wifi 😭 WILSONNNNNNNNNNN

You have 38 missed recruiter calls

2 recruiters for the same joblisting...
Lets see who has the best bluff 😋🤔😉

Scrum master, scrum faster

The joys of barcode scan testing 😑 buhhhhhh

2 bugs fixed... Now time to count the newly added ones 🤦‍♂️ smh

Migrating from karma/chai to jest, any tips?

Installs Plugin to do certain tasks _faster_ on Android Studio..
.
.
Android Studio loads/runs _slow_ because of certain Plugins..
.
INSTANT KARMA 👏🏼 👏🏼

Fuck deadlines... Here is a mandatory training that is more important even tho it is irrelevant to your role

Holiday was gud 🤩 Now some rest and work tomorrow 😴 If anyone wants some good steaks for dinner, I could put my calves up on ebay for a nice price 🤣

In other news ... The company that booted me and 5 colleagues in april had a water leak and now the entire sales floor was flooded, resulting in +10.000 euro water damage 🤣 good luck making your Q1 sales targets 🤣

Karma much bitches 😂

New job starts june 19!
Then Iceland the week after that 😍
One week to dev around and upgrade my website abit 😁

//Office security cam looks great rn
bugsEngage();

Is the array half full or half empty 🤔🤔

So testing starts in 2 weeks ... lets change the api and micro manage the UI before that 🙄

Rubber duckies? Check my Dunny army 😍😍😍

So ... Yeah ... I survived a week in my holiday apartment with no wifi...

Now to wait for that phone bill 😂 oh well

Treeson aiding me in lack of rubber ducky

{"message": "Please wait a few minutes before you try again.", "status": "fail"}

saturday(){
return tldr;
}

Write comments like Morgan Freeman describes how the software was build.

Aaaaah fuck, there goes the paycheck 😭

//Girlfriend asks question
If(answer != desiredanswer){
return false;
}

Wastin time here

When i downvote a rant I always upvote 2 others to keep a good karma

7 hour dev call 🤨

So ... another week of job hunting down the drain 😄 its getting boring guys 🙄

First week on the new job was awesome 🤗 Iceland work visit next week 😍

Don't use tables!!! Tables are bad MKAY??

said the designer that needs to tripple wrap links to render them as buttons...

3...
2...
1...
Facepalm.init()

let gfInput = '';
try {
gfInput = getInput('Will you marry me? ')
if(gfInput == 'Y'){
// KISS HER
}else{
throw {msg: 'she dumped you.', code: 'red'}
}
} catch( err ) {
//if err.code !== red . just cry but if red... uh oh
if(err.code == 'red'){
// GOTTA DO SOME DAMAGE
let msg = {
sender: 'anonymous',
recipients : ['dad', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'uncle'],
messageBody: '****ntha has been fucking some dude...'
}

sendText(msg);
}
} finally{
// send ****ntha a good bye message
var msg = {
sender: 'pk359',
recipients: ['****ntha'],
messageBody: 'I invite you ****ntha to my wedding with your best friend *licia. PEACE, bit*h'
}
sendText(msg)
}

Just npm install
Then npm run dev

Aaand

Nothing works

If you ++ this post, you will get good developer karma credits for the next 10 years, and every piece of code you write will eventually work.

Trust me this actually works, you can try it yourself.

Yay ...
No more !important in SCSS...
All colors pulled from variables...
Such code ... Very clean 😂

So they were renovating the toilets on my floor this week and despite all the noise from the drilling and taking down walls I was very productive 😍

Worked from home ... Good coffee

Karma works 24/7, but we might need to do some catching up sometimes 😂👍

Dat moment when @billgates ++ your rant 😍

Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."

*CLICK*

Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉

Created 2 pull requests 🙄
They will get rejected tho 🤔

After 2 weeks I really like it here on devrant... And its mostly because we all somewhat face the same shit together today, every day. And still we continue.

That is what dev is all about 😃

Aced the interview
Did not forget bag this time 😂😉

Well, I didn't do shit today \o/ yay me

Office internet down :/ boredddd

So @dfox ... when I subscribe to people, why not show their posts in my feed??? This is overuse of the notifications system I think...

Installing android studio

CSS !important ninja turtles 🐢

So, who here plays ingress... What faction?

PO: Is it done yet?
PO: Whats the status?
PO: Any progress??

My brain: Did we have requirements for this, or just a deadline

In good news today: my donut 🍩 looked abit like the surprized picachu meme.

In the sad news section: theres mostly meetings and bad micro management.

Holiday is gud ...

Proposal is in, Iceland here I come 😇
#signherepls

Dat new job 🎉

File caching issues as bugs 🤗

Jan: hello endpoint x is missing
April: hello endpoint x is still missing

We had a zx spectrum with a rubber keyboard.

Later we switched to the c64 and we wrecked a shitload of controllers 🤪

//Angular introduction
ng-hell="oWorld()"

Mockups are just memes without clear requirements ... There I said it!

Best practice is just a theory 😂

Website for a gallery that wanted a 10k website for just 1k ... Must haz super CMS so that they could send me word documents each week so I could manuallly copy paste that shit into the CMS, and somehow extract and restore the lowres embedded images in full resolution ...

I guess it was safe to say this was my first client from hell 😅😂😂😂

The second was a website for some ballroom dude that got my referral from gallery X ... Yup, same shitty type of client

I am so tired 😧
Hope I can continue 😕

My candy jar's name is hacks 🥴👍

I love it when docker just decides to kill my containers 🤪🤪🤪

To overtime ... or not to overtime ...

That's the question 🤔🔫

I am hoping this is based on an array 😂

Me: we are running in circles going nowhere 🤬
Manager: ok, from tomorrow let's try walking backwards triangles maybe that works better
Me: 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Comboboxes with inline checkbox for multiselect 😂

Meeting starts:
"What we promised the customer"

🤷‍♂️ Ok here we go agian 🤦‍♂️

When devRant teaches u perfect "Karma".

This was a coincidence!

I got 100++ and I upvoted 100++

CIT: be weary of phishing emails

Also CIT: let's send out a fake phishing mail to see if people are weary of phishing emails

One day, to job offers to choose from

Today was a good day 🤣🤞

Somehow I keep thinging that dyson is judging my cooking skills when I see this, all I smell is spices and herbs but nooooooo

Mr air quality do not approve

Six job interviews in one week
And now
I be tired

Run-time error occured in file: undefined at line: undefined and column: undefined

This ea shit is so damn glitchy 🙄🙄

Watching Aggretsuko, quite it relatable

So ... All my favorite shops are either closed or closing down soon...

Thank you online shops I guess

I just noticed there are loads of docker memes out there on the web 😋 amusing

Happy new devs 😉

Working the weekend 😄

No data no cry ~ Dev Marley

Whoa who took a designer dump on the new twitter web UI 😵 this shit is fugly!

Finished all my tasks for senior promotion ... Teamlead was like ... What promotion? I thought you wanted to stay medior? RLLY????

While he kissed asses for his senior promotion, not even having a skillset for teamlead nor senior...

Gonna make some glitter waterballoons and throw my harasser a nice gitter party 😂✌️

I've spent some days converting paddings on wrappers into margins for it's children, because our lead designer was a pure genius 🙋‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Not feeling like ranting alot
Tho I have lots to rantabout

What is wrong with me

I bought an aquarium, needs some weekly maintenance, is very comforting to watch and it is nice to see things grow.

Interviews on
Thursday
Friday
Monday
Wednesday

MKAY

Error error error error

MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

Went out for a drink after work ... Ran into my boss, and I think he might be quite the mentor

Missed the checkin timeframe for my flight by 10 minutes ... Next flight is tomorrow 🙄 fuuuu

Meh, and then some more meh

Since the issue is within the legacy backend data, this brings us the great opportunity to solve and sanitize the data on the frontend and therefore killing the performance of the application! Sincerely, a manager that doesn't give a shit

Sure, ignore my request for a backend issue fix ... In return I'll ignore the deadline for this project, DEAL?????

With every day that passes, I more and more want to do something else as a profession...

But WHAT?!?!

Mwhyyyyy are 8bit character not a feature 😂👍 I miss it already

Client called, they have enough budget to tap into a new audience 🤔 WHAT?!?!?!?!

!dev
I was so tired of work last week and weather was so good I ended up in a bar.
People were so nice there so I got there second day in a row.
I met new nice people and cute female bartender who laughed from my jokes.
Was to drunk and tried so much to make her laugh that l forgot to get her number.
Got there next day asked bartender for her shifts, turned out it was last day of her work, she moved out from city for at least a year. So I got drunk again, and so on 5 days in a row.
Well that’s my life. Lucky me... again.
Karma is so funny I can’t laugh for some time anymore.

I think I get the tabs vs spaces thingy now 😄

Mr bean, no comment 😃

I had a developer put the css font declaration on every css class, instead of the body... The site used just one font 🤔😂

Found this, shared it here, tagged it correctly 👍

See, it is possible

The more songs and the more photos you put on your phone, the heavier it gets. Only by a trillion-billionth of the tiniest fraction of an ounce, but still

oh joyyy

Had to swap my devrant outfit...
I was smelly 🙄
And now there is ink on my arm 😍

Error: Could not start house arrest for application

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

The typos are strong with this one

I'm helping my harasser with applying for jobs 😂 he wants to become a secretary 😊

GDPR course :/

I started cleaning out the recruiters and headhunters from my linked in connections ... And I highly underestimated the workload of such a task ... FML

Rantlog stardate 18052017
Still no pet to pet

*Overpetting rubber ducky*

Why no pet goats tho 🤔

Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign?

Wand making and cutting

Avada Kedavra!!!!

Estimation * 3 === always

If there is no data, it's kind of hard to return it isn't it?????

Dum di dum ... One more day of work, and then snowboarding all over dem pretty mountains... We came up with a theme, cokelympics, since it dumped loads and loads of snow...

Is it just me or is it just really hard to set up and test frontend JavaScript? 🤔

Karma + Mocha + Chai + whatever
is a pain

And it doesn't look very pretty..

Played with the hololens today ... Its kinda nice but felt a bit glitchy in use ... Have to play with it some more

Left my bag in the interview room 😥
Not so good first impression 🤣
🤔Fuuuuk meeeeee🙄

Mandatory training ... Coarse introduction video crashes 20 secs before end, can only proceed with the coarse by finishing the introduction video ... 🤦‍♂️🙈🤷‍♂️

Productive day, today yay

Once I had to style comboboxes with only css so that they would look equal on all browsers... Equal meant they would look like the IE comboboxes with 2 pixel fugly borders, a gray focus state that felt more like a disabled state to me ... And it was horrible!

My after weekend farts are somewhat apocalyptic 💨💨💨

So ... Finally receiving notifications on iOS through firebase, now to handle them correctly ...

Interview went well, oh well 😄

8 notifications in two minutes, 3 apps, 5 people ... Something is up

Sms gateway 😃 back in the day

Works on my atari

Can drop shadows 🤔 drop shadows?

I estimated 4 days for a task, took me 1,5 and I fixed an issue in there while I ran into it and made a nice fallback for when some edgecase thingy is not supported, which is somewhat of a new feature...

Oh and its paydayayay! Olé!

body {
overflow: hidden;
}
// For noob designers

👀 ah I see

So my recruiter decided to calc his own bruto salary(gross) over my netto one...

Turns out he missed about 800 euro in his conversion ratio... Motherfucker ... That sets me back 5 years in salary u asshole 😶

Sorry for not ranting and commenting alot lately... I'm feeling a bit down, very tired, and not at all motivated ... But I'll be back one day soon I hope

Uninstalling android studio

🤔 Effective waste of evening

You know morons are in control when they block you, and you can just browse in private mode to see all their shit & them backstabbing you after the fact...

Hero behind a keyboard 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Micro managing

People that reply to all on every mail... Please die?

I wear the tank top ⛽ it is too hot

Scopechange and roadmap editing meetings, felt like a full team keelhaul 🤕

Working on title based features :/ without requirements