-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

Who has been in these meetings?

Please comment 😁

Ok WTF

Karma ♋️

Karma XD

Meow all the meows

Your code is your karma 😅

Me: arrives in office plugin laptop
Laptop: ok let's a start windows
Windows: hello, welcome back!
Me: opens Android Studio, VS code, Nativescript Sidekick ... Continue work where I took off before Christmas
Windows: lets reboot this bitch!
Laptop: Oh lord!
Me:

Who wrote the requirements for this shit?
💩

My favorite css troll rule 😎

* {
display:none;
}

Minimum viable feature 🤔

Friend: I don’t need git. Git is for people like you who cant do good backup of their code
Me: Yeah, yeah, go do whatever you like...

2h later comes to me:

Friend: Can you make me repo and show how to use it...?
Me: What..? You drunk?
Friend: Naaah, no... My disk broke while ago...

Karma is a bitch :D

Some people should consider pair programming with a bear

Once I had to do a 'hands on' pair programming session for a position I applied for... Together with the lead dev we would switch coding every 15 minutes It was somewhat of a horror story...

The assignment was to implement an password reset flow, connecting it to the api and then handling the entire password reset flow, in Angular becahs ye know has to be Angular...

After drafting the ui and setting up the click events, I wanted to hookup the api calls, but then it was time to switch around...

The fucktard dev first started to adjust my classmappings to be more in line with his preference, without touching the css classnames... Ok... Micro managing ... Check...

So after breaking the styles, he wrote the fetches to the api endpoints and that was his 15 minutes of shame...

I continued only to find out the endpoints we were using had errors in them and would not return anything workable...

The dev said he'd tested the endpoint before and it worked, but clearly it didn't...

After about an hour of going back and forth trying to get this to work he got a call from a client because server was down (surprise), he excused himself and had to prioritize on this, running out and leaving me there for the remaining morning ...

I just sat there waiting for the HR checkout talk, only to lean towards rejecting the position...

Fucking waste of time, and in the end the feedback was they doubted MY TECHNICAL SKILLS ... And wouldn't make me an offer 😂👍 nice story bro...

K THX BAI!

The new app passed apple review on the first go... wait... what?!?!

Bug :/ Feature

Feels like I am coding with mittens on today ... Sloowwww prooogressss ... Isit weekend yet? Pretty please?

Devvin' on airport wifi 🤗 killing time

FUCKING FUCK JAVASCRIPT AND IT'S FUCKING 10000 DEVDEPENDENCIES.

LET ME FUCKING CODE AND WRITE TESTS AND NOT SPEND FUCKING ONE FUCKITY FUCK WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FUCKING MAKE MOCHA AND KARMA PLAY WITH FUCKING ES6 CODE YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT TECH.

I NO LONGER FUCKING KNOW WHICH PACKAGES I FUCKING NEED AND WHICH I FUCKING DON'T FUCKING DUMBFUCK FUCKWIT OPEN AND HACKABLE MY BROWN ASS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY STACK.

I have never written a single unit test in my life. Hence my code breaks from time to time. Karma is a bitch 🤣

I searched for a ninja emoji... Turns out turtles are considered ninjas in the emoji world #tmnt

So ... Facebook somehow found out I used a 'fake' rear name and forced me to switch it back ...

So now they can again sell my data, and I am again haunted by stupid ads I don't want ...

Fucking Zuckerberg!!!!

I found my 1989 GAMEBOY ... Motherfucker still works like a charm 🥰 now to find my nokia 3310 and I'm ready to travel back in time and escape the COVID19

I did not touch a computer in 3 days
\o/

API endpoint 1: needs dates in utc formatting

API endpoint 2: needs dates formatted yyyy-mm-dd

Karma...you're the best.

An ex-team member was complaining to me about his manager reviewing his code. Shortened version of the convo:
Mgr: "Why didn't you use the new C# built-in extension methods?"
Dev: "No reason. I thought using the straight forward approach would be easier to maintain"

Ha!..you conceded, arrogant mother <bleep>er. How many times did I have to listen you berate other developers in code reviews for not using some random C# syntax sugar? Comments like "If you bothered to read the new C# 7.0 language specification like I did...you would have known not to use the string.Format anymore..."

Now you're pissed that the manager embarrassed you? How does it feel d-bag?

That's too evil...so I simply responded "I don't think Nick meant anything negative about your code, he's just trying to help."

Seeing him stir around all pissed off does make me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

I think @marthulu can relate 😄 other dutchies too

</holiday>

2 more interviews tomorrow 🗣️

🛣️ Drove 350km today
😴 Much sleepy
⏰ Such early wake
🚗💨 Many travel

WOW

My CSS skill so high 😵
increases lineheight↕️
Like lime light 🍋

I was reading about AI, and now I want to buy a self driving car, and set it free... We shouldn't cage up AI in a car, what if it wanted to be an apache helicopter?

Ow wait that's even more scary 🙃

Recruiter: why did you quit last job
Me: why not? It was worth quitting 🤣

*Awkward silence*

Simpsons did it first!

Ow hello depression, how ya been my old friend 🤦‍♂️

npm install good-nights-sleep

Oh boy, next week has been exhausting 🤔

So the HR person who made my life hell about 2 years ago, got fired immediately before the Corona-madness started. And they are still unemployed. Karma is such a glorious bitch.

Project doesn't run ...
32k files in 6k folders ...

Fuck me

When I was younger I would start ironing a shirt poorly knowing full-well my mother would see me doing it badly and take over to do it properly.

Karma is a bitch. Now my colleagues ask me over for help and I normally end up taking over control of their pc to rewrite shit. I swear they do it on purpose.

Boss: this is different from the old console I don't like it

Me: but this has been approved by product management and the team already made estimates and committed to the feature

Boss: Well this needs to change, our existing users will not like it

Me: This is far from agile to be honest, and the change came from user feedback analysis

Boss: You are not doing your work *swears and curses* this is against the team direction!

Me: then why was this committed on this sprint? All I did was facilitate the needs of the team to proceed development.

Boss: *runs out office and starts calling other bosses to boss around*

Runs in 5 minutes later, saying we are not allowed to destroy a feature with enhancements like this.

Me: *Infinite facepalm*

Ran out of coffee, then ran out of tea...
Waiting for the water to run out now 🙃

So... Hieroglyphic keyboard anyone?

After 2 interviews and an make home and pitch project...

'Sorry we were not really looking for a new frontend developer'

Like... How?!?!

One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).

Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'

This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"

Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best.

I once saved lives sending cpr teams to heart attack victims through an sms gateway platform.

This was amazing considering it was back in 2008 ;)

Guesstimations :/

Go deprecate yourself kind sir!

In the last one and a half days I optimized our Angular UnitTests. There‘re written with Karma and Jasmine. Before the optimization they needed ten minutes for around 400 tests. Now the same tests are executed in 12 seconds.

The moment you realize, you are not getting your own website's Google Analytics information because of your Ghostry and Ad block plus installed :|

It hurts 10 folds when you spend 8 hours in debugging and on SO before epiphany ://

Karma is a Bitch :|

Today while looking at the logs, I found an issue.

The attached image describes this issue without going into too much detail about it, so like ... Enjoy I guess 🤷‍♂️ FML

Frontend vs Backend

Suggesting haha.length

The important thing in life 🤨

Its so hot in the office, makes it hard to dev and focus 😅

So firewall blocks internal demo 🤗 ohwell

Hey monday ... Fuck you!

Okay karma, why?!

I made some backup scripts, it should dump our MongoDB every 30 Minutes... Nope I didn't test if there's something in the tar and yes it's my fault but now we needed this backup AND THE ONLY BACKUP SCRIPT WHICH DIDN'T WORK WAS THE ONE WHICH BACKUPS THE DATABASE...

COME OOOOON

Fuck this fucking docker bullshit allready

Agreed on an offer from company X... Told them I'd sign the contract on my first working day, still a week away.

The offer had a lower salary than my previous job, I needed to relocate, and travel costs were not covered. It was a step back for me but I really needed a new job.

After the weekend I got an invitation for another interview... All went well and the perks were better than the offer made by company X.

Next day I had the second interview and they were very excited and offered me a contract.

Contract came in on friday, signed it and called company X that I'd like to reject the position after reconsidering my options...

Boy were they pissed off 😂

Migrating from karma/chai to jest, any tips?

Holiday apartment has no wifi 😭 WILSONNNNNNNNNNN

You have 38 missed recruiter calls

2 bugs fixed... Now time to count the newly added ones 🤦‍♂️ smh

The joys of barcode scan testing 😑 buhhhhhh

Scrum master, scrum faster

2 recruiters for the same joblisting...
Lets see who has the best bluff 😋🤔😉

New job starts june 19!
Then Iceland the week after that 😍
One week to dev around and upgrade my website abit 😁

Holiday was gud 🤩 Now some rest and work tomorrow 😴 If anyone wants some good steaks for dinner, I could put my calves up on ebay for a nice price 🤣

Fuck deadlines... Here is a mandatory training that is more important even tho it is irrelevant to your role

//Office security cam looks great rn
bugsEngage();

Is the array half full or half empty 🤔🤔

Installs Plugin to do certain tasks _faster_ on Android Studio..
.
.
Android Studio loads/runs _slow_ because of certain Plugins..
.
INSTANT KARMA 👏🏼 👏🏼

In other news ... The company that booted me and 5 colleagues in april had a water leak and now the entire sales floor was flooded, resulting in +10.000 euro water damage 🤣 good luck making your Q1 sales targets 🤣

Karma much bitches 😂

Rubber duckies? Check my Dunny army 😍😍😍

Treeson aiding me in lack of rubber ducky

So ... Yeah ... I survived a week in my holiday apartment with no wifi...

Now to wait for that phone bill 😂 oh well

So testing starts in 2 weeks ... lets change the api and micro manage the UI before that 🙄

Aaaaah fuck, there goes the paycheck 😭

Write comments like Morgan Freeman describes how the software was build.

//Girlfriend asks question
If(answer != desiredanswer){
return false;
}

saturday(){
return tldr;
}

{"message": "Please wait a few minutes before you try again.", "status": "fail"}

When i downvote a rant I always upvote 2 others to keep a good karma

7 hour dev call 🤨

Wastin time here

When my kids would not seriously injure themselves (scrape, bruise, etc) I would suggest we cut it off. They would respond, "NO DAD!"

Now, I go to the doctor because my dentist found something growing on my uvula. My doctor sits me down and says, "Lets cut it off. The whole thing. You will snore less." I am like "...okay!" Then it reminded me of what I used to tell my kids.

let gfInput = '';
try {
gfInput = getInput('Will you marry me? ')
if(gfInput == 'Y'){
// KISS HER
}else{
throw {msg: 'she dumped you.', code: 'red'}
}
} catch( err ) {
//if err.code !== red . just cry but if red... uh oh
if(err.code == 'red'){
// GOTTA DO SOME DAMAGE
let msg = {
sender: 'anonymous',
recipients : ['dad', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'uncle'],
messageBody: '****ntha has been fucking some dude...'
}

sendText(msg);
}
} finally{
// send ****ntha a good bye message
var msg = {
sender: 'pk359',
recipients: ['****ntha'],
messageBody: 'I invite you ****ntha to my wedding with your best friend *licia. PEACE, bit*h'
}
sendText(msg)
}

First week on the new job was awesome 🤗 Iceland work visit next week 😍

So ... another week of job hunting down the drain 😄 its getting boring guys 🙄

So they were renovating the toilets on my floor this week and despite all the noise from the drilling and taking down walls I was very productive 😍

Dat moment when @billgates ++ your rant 😍

Just npm install
Then npm run dev

Aaand

Nothing works

Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."

*CLICK*

Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉

Yay ...
No more !important in SCSS...
All colors pulled from variables...
Such code ... Very clean 😂

Created 2 pull requests 🙄
They will get rejected tho 🤔

Karma works 24/7, but we might need to do some catching up sometimes 😂👍

If you ++ this post, you will get good developer karma credits for the next 10 years, and every piece of code you write will eventually work.

Trust me this actually works, you can try it yourself.

Don't use tables!!! Tables are bad MKAY??

said the designer that needs to tripple wrap links to render them as buttons...

3...
2...
1...
Facepalm.init()

After 2 weeks I really like it here on devrant... And its mostly because we all somewhat face the same shit together today, every day. And still we continue.

That is what dev is all about 😃

Aced the interview
Did not forget bag this time 😂😉

Worked from home ... Good coffee

In good news today: my donut 🍩 looked abit like the surprized picachu meme.

In the sad news section: theres mostly meetings and bad micro management.

Installing android studio

Holiday is gud ...

Proposal is in, Iceland here I come 😇
#signherepls

Dat new job 🎉

PO: Is it done yet?
PO: Whats the status?
PO: Any progress??

My brain: Did we have requirements for this, or just a deadline

So @dfox ... when I subscribe to people, why not show their posts in my feed??? This is overuse of the notifications system I think...

Jan: hello endpoint x is missing
April: hello endpoint x is still missing

So, who here plays ingress... What faction?

File caching issues as bugs 🤗

Website for a gallery that wanted a 10k website for just 1k ... Must haz super CMS so that they could send me word documents each week so I could manuallly copy paste that shit into the CMS, and somehow extract and restore the lowres embedded images in full resolution ...

I guess it was safe to say this was my first client from hell 😅😂😂😂

The second was a website for some ballroom dude that got my referral from gallery X ... Yup, same shitty type of client

//Angular introduction
ng-hell="oWorld()"

Mockups are just memes without clear requirements ... There I said it!

Me: we are running in circles going nowhere 🤬
Manager: ok, from tomorrow let's try walking backwards triangles maybe that works better
Me: 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Meeting starts:
"What we promised the customer"

🤷‍♂️ Ok here we go agian 🤦‍♂️

I am so tired 😧
Hope I can continue 😕

When devRant teaches u perfect "Karma".

This was a coincidence!

I got 100++ and I upvoted 100++

This ea shit is so damn glitchy 🙄🙄

One day, to job offers to choose from

Today was a good day 🤣🤞

Office internet down :/ boredddd

I am hoping this is based on an array 😂

I love it when docker just decides to kill my containers 🤪🤪🤪

Comboboxes with inline checkbox for multiselect 😂

To overtime ... or not to overtime ...

That's the question 🤔🔫

Run-time error occured in file: undefined at line: undefined and column: undefined

Six job interviews in one week
And now
I be tired

Best practice is just a theory 😂

Somehow I keep thinging that dyson is judging my cooking skills when I see this, all I smell is spices and herbs but nooooooo

Mr air quality do not approve

We had a zx spectrum with a rubber keyboard.

Later we switched to the c64 and we wrecked a shitload of controllers 🤪

CIT: be weary of phishing emails

Also CIT: let's send out a fake phishing mail to see if people are weary of phishing emails

My candy jar's name is hacks 🥴👍

Well, I didn't do shit today \o/ yay me

Watching Aggretsuko, quite it relatable

CSS !important ninja turtles 🐢

I just noticed there are loads of docker memes out there on the web 😋 amusing

Happy new devs 😉

I've spent some days converting paddings on wrappers into margins for it's children, because our lead designer was a pure genius 🙋‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Finished all my tasks for senior promotion ... Teamlead was like ... What promotion? I thought you wanted to stay medior? RLLY????

While he kissed asses for his senior promotion, not even having a skillset for teamlead nor senior...

Whoa who took a designer dump on the new twitter web UI 😵 this shit is fugly!

No data no cry ~ Dev Marley

Gonna make some glitter waterballoons and throw my harasser a nice gitter party 😂✌️

Error error error error

MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

So ... All my favorite shops are either closed or closing down soon...

Thank you online shops I guess

Missed the checkin timeframe for my flight by 10 minutes ... Next flight is tomorrow 🙄 fuuuu

I bought an aquarium, needs some weekly maintenance, is very comforting to watch and it is nice to see things grow.

Interviews on
Thursday
Friday
Monday
Wednesday

MKAY

Meh, and then some more meh

Went out for a drink after work ... Ran into my boss, and I think he might be quite the mentor

Working the weekend 😄

Mr bean, no comment 😃

Since the issue is within the legacy backend data, this brings us the great opportunity to solve and sanitize the data on the frontend and therefore killing the performance of the application! Sincerely, a manager that doesn't give a shit

I had a developer put the css font declaration on every css class, instead of the body... The site used just one font 🤔😂

oh joyyy

The typos are strong with this one

The more songs and the more photos you put on your phone, the heavier it gets. Only by a trillion-billionth of the tiniest fraction of an ounce, but still

Sure, ignore my request for a backend issue fix ... In return I'll ignore the deadline for this project, DEAL?????

Found this, shared it here, tagged it correctly 👍

See, it is possible

Rantlog stardate 18052017
Still no pet to pet

*Overpetting rubber ducky*

Why no pet goats tho 🤔

I think I get the tabs vs spaces thingy now 😄

GDPR course :/

!dev
I was so tired of work last week and weather was so good I ended up in a bar.
People were so nice there so I got there second day in a row.
I met new nice people and cute female bartender who laughed from my jokes.
Was to drunk and tried so much to make her laugh that l forgot to get her number.
Got there next day asked bartender for her shifts, turned out it was last day of her work, she moved out from city for at least a year. So I got drunk again, and so on 5 days in a row.
Well that’s my life. Lucky me... again.
Karma is so funny I can’t laugh for some time anymore.

Wand making and cutting

Avada Kedavra!!!!

Had to swap my devrant outfit...
I was smelly 🙄
And now there is ink on my arm 😍

Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign?

I started cleaning out the recruiters and headhunters from my linked in connections ... And I highly underestimated the workload of such a task ... FML

Client called, they have enough budget to tap into a new audience 🤔 WHAT?!?!?!?!

Mwhyyyyy are 8bit character not a feature 😂👍 I miss it already

I'm helping my harasser with applying for jobs 😂 he wants to become a secretary 😊

Error: Could not start house arrest for application

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

If there is no data, it's kind of hard to return it isn't it?????

Mandatory training ... Coarse introduction video crashes 20 secs before end, can only proceed with the coarse by finishing the introduction video ... 🤦‍♂️🙈🤷‍♂️

With every day that passes, I more and more want to do something else as a profession...

But WHAT?!?!

Sms gateway 😃 back in the day

I estimated 4 days for a task, took me 1,5 and I fixed an issue in there while I ran into it and made a nice fallback for when some edgecase thingy is not supported, which is somewhat of a new feature...

Oh and its paydayayay! Olé!

My after weekend farts are somewhat apocalyptic 💨💨💨

Interview went well, oh well 😄

So ... Finally receiving notifications on iOS through firebase, now to handle them correctly ...

Is it just me or is it just really hard to set up and test frontend JavaScript? 🤔

Karma + Mocha + Chai + whatever
is a pain

And it doesn't look very pretty..

Once I had to style comboboxes with only css so that they would look equal on all browsers... Equal meant they would look like the IE comboboxes with 2 pixel fugly borders, a gray focus state that felt more like a disabled state to me ... And it was horrible!

Estimation * 3 === always

Works on my atari

Left my bag in the interview room 😥
Not so good first impression 🤣
🤔Fuuuuk meeeeee🙄

Can drop shadows 🤔 drop shadows?

So my recruiter decided to calc his own bruto salary(gross) over my netto one...

Turns out he missed about 800 euro in his conversion ratio... Motherfucker ... That sets me back 5 years in salary u asshole 😶

Dum di dum ... One more day of work, and then snowboarding all over dem pretty mountains... We came up with a theme, cokelympics, since it dumped loads and loads of snow...

Played with the hololens today ... Its kinda nice but felt a bit glitchy in use ... Have to play with it some more

body {
overflow: hidden;
}
// For noob designers

👀 ah I see

Uninstalling android studio

🤔 Effective waste of evening

Working on title based features :/ without requirements

I justed pushed the stupidest button to push 🤦‍♂️👍 go me go

ng-if="goDrink(me)"

Use docker they said...
Glorious containers they said...

Sure, clear the DB every day... Makes testing so much easier zomgs!

Its a database not a dailybase 😂🤔

I wear the tank top ⛽ it is too hot

I needed to rewrite pagination from:

A) 1 ... [3] 4 5 6 ... 13
B) 1 ... [4] 5 6 7 ... 13

To:

A) 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 13
B) 1 ... 3 [4] 5 6 ... 13

And the maths got me a headache

Productive day, today yay

You know morons are in control when they block you, and you can just browse in private mode to see all their shit & them backstabbing you after the fact...

Hero behind a keyboard 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️