-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

I literally laughed out loud

Dear Websites,

If I have to go through a fucking slideshow or even multiple pages to see your content, I won't be on your site for more than 5 seconds.

Sincerely,
Everyone

Who has been in these meetings?

Please comment 😁

Ok WTF

Karma ♋️

Karma XD

Meow all the meows

Your code is your karma 😅

Who wrote the requirements for this shit?
💩

My favorite css troll rule 😎

* {
display:none;
}

Depression is like email newsletters, nobody signed up for that shit and the unsubscribe link never works 🙈 fuck that 📧

Minimum viable feature 🤔

Friend: I don’t need git. Git is for people like you who cant do good backup of their code
Me: Yeah, yeah, go do whatever you like...

2h later comes to me:

Friend: Can you make me repo and show how to use it...?
Me: What..? You drunk?
Friend: Naaah, no... My disk broke while ago...

Karma is a bitch :D

When pm says jump!
You ask,
From which floor?

Some people should consider pair programming with a bear

Bug :/ Feature

TIL: nobody cares about quality, only deadlines

Devvin' on airport wifi 🤗 killing time

I like my new mug, won it on @boldomatic

FUCKING FUCK JAVASCRIPT AND IT'S FUCKING 10000 DEVDEPENDENCIES.

LET ME FUCKING CODE AND WRITE TESTS AND NOT SPEND FUCKING ONE FUCKITY FUCK WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FUCKING MAKE MOCHA AND KARMA PLAY WITH FUCKING ES6 CODE YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT TECH.

I NO LONGER FUCKING KNOW WHICH PACKAGES I FUCKING NEED AND WHICH I FUCKING DON'T FUCKING DUMBFUCK FUCKWIT OPEN AND HACKABLE MY BROWN ASS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY STACK.

I did a thing!

I searched for a ninja emoji... Turns out turtles are considered ninjas in the emoji world #tmnt

Once I had to do a 'hands on' pair programming session for a position I applied for... Together with the lead dev we would switch coding every 15 minutes It was somewhat of a horror story...

The assignment was to implement an password reset flow, connecting it to the api and then handling the entire password reset flow, in Angular becahs ye know has to be Angular...

After drafting the ui and setting up the click events, I wanted to hookup the api calls, but then it was time to switch around...

The fucktard dev first started to adjust my classmappings to be more in line with his preference, without touching the css classnames... Ok... Micro managing ... Check...

So after breaking the styles, he wrote the fetches to the api endpoints and that was his 15 minutes of shame...

I continued only to find out the endpoints we were using had errors in them and would not return anything workable...

The dev said he'd tested the endpoint before and it worked, but clearly it didn't...

After about an hour of going back and forth trying to get this to work he got a call from a client because server was down (surprise), he excused himself and had to prioritize on this, running out and leaving me there for the remaining morning ...

I just sat there waiting for the HR checkout talk, only to lean towards rejecting the position...

Fucking waste of time, and in the end the feedback was they doubted MY TECHNICAL SKILLS ... And wouldn't make me an offer 😂👍 nice story bro...

K THX BAI!

I have never written a single unit test in my life. Hence my code breaks from time to time. Karma is a bitch 🤣

So ... Facebook somehow found out I used a 'fake' rear name and forced me to switch it back ...

So now they can again sell my data, and I am again haunted by stupid ads I don't want ...

Fucking Zuckerberg!!!!

API endpoint 1: needs dates in utc formatting

API endpoint 2: needs dates formatted yyyy-mm-dd

Curly boy

I did not touch a computer in 3 days
\o/

Karma...you're the best.

An ex-team member was complaining to me about his manager reviewing his code. Shortened version of the convo:
Mgr: "Why didn't you use the new C# built-in extension methods?"
Dev: "No reason. I thought using the straight forward approach would be easier to maintain"

Ha!..you conceded, arrogant mother <bleep>er. How many times did I have to listen you berate other developers in code reviews for not using some random C# syntax sugar? Comments like "If you bothered to read the new C# 7.0 language specification like I did...you would have known not to use the string.Format anymore..."

Now you're pissed that the manager embarrassed you? How does it feel d-bag?

That's too evil...so I simply responded "I don't think Nick meant anything negative about your code, he's just trying to help."

Seeing him stir around all pissed off does make me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

</holiday>

I think @marthulu can relate 😄 other dutchies too

2 more interviews tomorrow 🗣️

🛣️ Drove 350km today
😴 Much sleepy
⏰ Such early wake
🚗💨 Many travel

WOW

throwback to when the stack overflow devs got a taste of stack overflow

My CSS skill so high 😵
increases lineheight↕️
Like lime light 🍋

Recruiter: why did you quit last job
Me: why not? It was worth quitting 🤣

*Awkward silence*

Saw this today, wanted to play dino jump game

I was reading about AI, and now I want to buy a self driving car, and set it free... We shouldn't cage up AI in a car, what if it wanted to be an apache helicopter?

Ow wait that's even more scary 🙃

Project doesn't run ...
32k files in 6k folders ...

Fuck me

npm install good-nights-sleep

Me: can you add x to y?
Dev: sure mate, done tomorrow
Me: kay thx

Next day:
Dev: ok I added x to z! There you go
Me: infinite facepalm

When I was younger I would start ironing a shirt poorly knowing full-well my mother would see me doing it badly and take over to do it properly.

Karma is a bitch. Now my colleagues ask me over for help and I normally end up taking over control of their pc to rewrite shit. I swear they do it on purpose.

Boss: this is different from the old console I don't like it

Me: but this has been approved by product management and the team already made estimates and committed to the feature

Boss: Well this needs to change, our existing users will not like it

Me: This is far from agile to be honest, and the change came from user feedback analysis

Boss: You are not doing your work *swears and curses* this is against the team direction!

Me: then why was this committed on this sprint? All I did was facilitate the needs of the team to proceed development.

Boss: *runs out office and starts calling other bosses to boss around*

Runs in 5 minutes later, saying we are not allowed to destroy a feature with enhancements like this.

Me: *Infinite facepalm*

So... Hieroglyphic keyboard anyone?

Frontend vs Backend

Hired a designer below me.. guy never wrote a full back nor frontend... Used npm shit for all his solutions and worked his way above me just by kissing ass and polluting the codebase in such a way 70% would be open source shitty plugins for shit he could not do by himself code wise...

At some point he assigned some of his tasks to me and I couldn't work with his patchy framework that was non existent within the codebase I worked on ...

At some point between npm installed tantrums I got pulled up to HR because my code quality dropped... And it was this fucktart that accused me of this saying I could not do modern development...

In the end I either had to butkiss after his butts or just quit, so I did the latter... I told him and HR I owned alot more code quality than this asshat but just not his way of working and therefor it was more an issue of code equality I was never aware of ...

A month after that the company got overtaken by some silicon valley bullshit company buying up competition, and he is still working within that shithole dealing with 90's tech...

Was the best thing that happened to me, after that I grew alot in skillset and such by investments from other jobs and projects... If I would still work there today I would consider myself a caveman

After 2 interviews and an make home and pitch project...

'Sorry we were not really looking for a new frontend developer'

Like... How?!?!

I once saved lives sending cpr teams to heart attack victims through an sms gateway platform.

This was amazing considering it was back in 2008 ;)

One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).

Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'

This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"

Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best.

Guesstimations :/

I aways think "how the fuck did you spill that on your keyboard...dumbass." Spilled half a protein shake on my keyboard this morning. It was pretty granular. I'm a less judgmental person now.

Hackerman walks into a bar

I feel broken, but debugging would require some bio engineering ... So ... MEH 🤷‍♂️

You have 38 missed recruiter calls

Go deprecate yourself kind sir!

The moment you realize, you are not getting your own website's Google Analytics information because of your Ghostry and Ad block plus installed :|

It hurts 10 folds when you spend 8 hours in debugging and on SO before epiphany ://

Karma is a Bitch :|

Headhunter: what is your motivation to work here
Me: you contacted me about this role
Headhunter: *sigh*
Me: 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Suggesting haha.length

The important thing in life 🤨

So firewall blocks internal demo 🤗 ohwell

I'ma done did a POC today, arr!

Its so hot in the office, makes it hard to dev and focus 😅

npm install unemployment

Holiday apartment has no wifi 😭 WILSONNNNNNNNNNN

Agreed on an offer from company X... Told them I'd sign the contract on my first working day, still a week away.

The offer had a lower salary than my previous job, I needed to relocate, and travel costs were not covered. It was a step back for me but I really needed a new job.

After the weekend I got an invitation for another interview... All went well and the perks were better than the offer made by company X.

Next day I had the second interview and they were very excited and offered me a contract.

Contract came in on friday, signed it and called company X that I'd like to reject the position after reconsidering my options...

Boy were they pissed off 😂

At the office, if I remember I'll also post the home setup

Interesting 🤔🤔🤔

Is the array half full or half empty 🤔🤔

That monday at work after a holiday

2 recruiters for the same joblisting...
Lets see who has the best bluff 😋🤔😉

Okay karma, why?!

I made some backup scripts, it should dump our MongoDB every 30 Minutes... Nope I didn't test if there's something in the tar and yes it's my fault but now we needed this backup AND THE ONLY BACKUP SCRIPT WHICH DIDN'T WORK WAS THE ONE WHICH BACKUPS THE DATABASE...

COME OOOOON

Fuck this fucking docker bullshit allready

2 bugs fixed... Now time to count the newly added ones 🤦‍♂️ smh

Why is it called shutdown and not shutup

Tripple double espresso... GO!!

So a month after being rejected for a position because it is was the holiday season and the cogs were turning slowly...

Fucking bitch (ceo of corp) contacts me and invites me for another talk

Look lady, I landed another job while you didn't want me at that timeframe and your cogs needed oil... Tough loss ain't it lol 😳🙈

New job starts june 19!
Then Iceland the week after that 😍
One week to dev around and upgrade my website abit 😁

Tomorrow starts my new job 🤔
Am I gonna rant more 😝
Or maybe less 🤐

Go devrant, place your bets!

//Girlfriend asks question
If(answer != desiredanswer){
return false;
}

saturday(){
return tldr;
}

So testing starts in 2 weeks ... lets change the api and micro manage the UI before that 🙄

Scrum master, scrum faster

Rubber duckies? Check my Dunny army 😍😍😍

Write comments like Morgan Freeman describes how the software was build.

Instagram tries bigdata on #hashtags

So ... Yeah ... I survived a week in my holiday apartment with no wifi...

Now to wait for that phone bill 😂 oh well

In other news ... The company that booted me and 5 colleagues in april had a water leak and now the entire sales floor was flooded, resulting in +10.000 euro water damage 🤣 good luck making your Q1 sales targets 🤣

Karma much bitches 😂

Treeson aiding me in lack of rubber ducky

Installs Plugin to do certain tasks _faster_ on Android Studio..
.
.
Android Studio loads/runs _slow_ because of certain Plugins..
.
INSTANT KARMA 👏🏼 👏🏼

Design: a solution to a problem
Art: a question to a problem

This ! :/

Useless

Hate it when PO assigns an issue to me when it's five to beer o clock

When i downvote a rant I always upvote 2 others to keep a good karma

First week on the new job was awesome 🤗 Iceland work visit next week 😍

Karma works 24/7, but we might need to do some catching up sometimes 😂👍

let gfInput = '';
try {
gfInput = getInput('Will you marry me? ')
if(gfInput == 'Y'){
// KISS HER
}else{
throw {msg: 'she dumped you.', code: 'red'}
}
} catch( err ) {
//if err.code !== red . just cry but if red... uh oh
if(err.code == 'red'){
// GOTTA DO SOME DAMAGE
let msg = {
sender: 'anonymous',
recipients : ['dad', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'uncle'],
messageBody: '****ntha has been fucking some dude...'
}

sendText(msg);
}
} finally{
// send ****ntha a good bye message
var msg = {
sender: 'pk359',
recipients: ['****ntha'],
messageBody: 'I invite you ****ntha to my wedding with your best friend *licia. PEACE, bit*h'
}
sendText(msg)
}

Don't use tables!!! Tables are bad MKAY??

said the designer that needs to tripple wrap links to render them as buttons...

3...
2...
1...
Facepalm.init()

When I look at the clock in 2018
And its like 20:18
Then be like 🤷‍♂️ 👽

7 hour dev call 🤨

Aced the interview
Did not forget bag this time 😂😉

Yay ...
No more !important in SCSS...
All colors pulled from variables...
Such code ... Very clean 😂

So ... another week of job hunting down the drain 😄 its getting boring guys 🙄

I don't pay much attention to my local file system when developing-- that's what my operating system and IDE are for. ...So I've thought, at least.

Today, my code didn't compile. I'd been noticing some pesky 'running out of memory' notifications, and mostly brushed them aside. I've spent the last hour deleting various log files and defragging the drive.

Its 2018 ... And we just had a full hour power outage 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

So they were renovating the toilets on my floor this week and despite all the noise from the drilling and taking down walls I was very productive 😍

Friday :/ just me and one support guy in office 👍 fun

Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."

*CLICK*

Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉

Dat moment when @billgates ++ your rant 😍

10.00-16.00 conference call...
It's a trap!

Just npm install
Then npm run dev

Aaand

Nothing works

Great... None of my coworkers know about this tiny bit of undocumented code, and the guy who wrote it, I replaced ... Fucks sake ... Next weeks gonna be hellish

Created 2 pull requests 🙄
They will get rejected tho 🤔

You are not prioritizing your work!!!

Well I am but you keep throwing more work in my direction on like a daily basis ...

One day, to job offers to choose from

Today was a good day 🤣🤞

After 2 weeks I really like it here on devrant... And its mostly because we all somewhat face the same shit together today, every day. And still we continue.

That is what dev is all about 😃

Somehow I keep thinging that dyson is judging my cooking skills when I see this, all I smell is spices and herbs but nooooooo

Mr air quality do not approve

Making a playlist is really easy when you are drunk

I am hoping this is based on an array 😂

Funny when you ask for help, then everybody is playing hide and seek

Aaaaah fuck, there goes the paycheck 😭

When devRant teaches u perfect "Karma".

This was a coincidence!

I got 100++ and I upvoted 100++

Proposal is in, Iceland here I come 😇
#signherepls

Dat new job 🎉

Installing android studio

File caching issues as bugs 🤗

So, who here plays ingress... What faction?

We had a zx spectrum with a rubber keyboard.

Later we switched to the c64 and we wrecked a shitload of controllers 🤪

Mockups are just memes without clear requirements ... There I said it!

Six job interviews in one week
And now
I be tired

CSS !important ninja turtles 🐢

Jan: hello endpoint x is missing
April: hello endpoint x is still missing

That moment you want to shazaam a song in the bar... Then open up skype and before you recall what app you wanted to open the song just ended ://

PO: Is it done yet?
PO: Whats the status?
PO: Any progress??

My brain: Did we have requirements for this, or just a deadline

So @dfox ... when I subscribe to people, why not show their posts in my feed??? This is overuse of the notifications system I think...

Comboboxes with inline checkbox for multiselect 😂

//Angular introduction
ng-hell="oWorld()"

To overtime ... or not to overtime ...

That's the question 🤔🔫

Office internet down :/ boredddd

sys.getsizeof(None)
16

This ea shit is so damn glitchy 🙄🙄

I mostly learn from myself and pick sectors to work within, thus far:

Sms ~ 2002
E-health ~ 2004
Workspace virtualization ~2011
E-commerce ~ 2017

Fuck this IOS provisioning hell
Fuck this firebase cloud messaging plugin
Fuck outdated documentation of said plugin
Fuck unsolved issues from about 3 years ago on SO

Fuck it all

So my contract won't get extended :/
They want to centralize the team in the uk before the brexit... so... Fuck

I love it when docker just decides to kill my containers 🤪🤪🤪

I am so tired 😧
Hope I can continue 😕

Best practice is just a theory 😂

Run-time error occured in file: undefined at line: undefined and column: undefined

Finished all my tasks for senior promotion ... Teamlead was like ... What promotion? I thought you wanted to stay medior? RLLY????

While he kissed asses for his senior promotion, not even having a skillset for teamlead nor senior...

My candy jar's name is hacks 🥴👍

Whoa who took a designer dump on the new twitter web UI 😵 this shit is fugly!

I bought an aquarium, needs some weekly maintenance, is very comforting to watch and it is nice to see things grow.

Went out for a drink after work ... Ran into my boss, and I think he might be quite the mentor

Missed the checkin timeframe for my flight by 10 minutes ... Next flight is tomorrow 🙄 fuuuu

Interviews on
Thursday
Friday
Monday
Wednesday

MKAY

The typos are strong with this one

oh joyyy

Happy new devs 😉

Working the weekend 😄

All of them... Its a trend 🤦‍♂️

So ... All my favorite shops are either closed or closing down soon...

Thank you online shops I guess

I just noticed there are loads of docker memes out there on the web 😋 amusing

Watching Aggretsuko, quite it relatable

Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign?

Very tired lately, also not very hungry ... And when I am hungry the food just doesn't taste like it used to 🤔 anyone had something lik this and maybe some tips on how to battle this?!

I had a developer put the css font declaration on every css class, instead of the body... The site used just one font 🤔😂

Had to swap my devrant outfit...
I was smelly 🙄
And now there is ink on my arm 😍

I've spent some days converting paddings on wrappers into margins for it's children, because our lead designer was a pure genius 🙋‍♂️🤦‍♂️

I just started habitica ... Its like an rpg taskmanager ... This is fucking great

Rantlog stardate 18052017
Still no pet to pet

*Overpetting rubber ducky*

Why no pet goats tho 🤔

Client called, they have enough budget to tap into a new audience 🤔 WHAT?!?!?!?!

Just remember, the guy that wrote JavaScript was a noob too

So, yesterdays power outage ... Killed my xbox one... Dhammit Microsoft!!!

The more songs and the more photos you put on your phone, the heavier it gets. Only by a trillion-billionth of the tiniest fraction of an ounce, but still

Wand making and cutting

Avada Kedavra!!!!

ng-if="goDrink(me)"

If there is no data, it's kind of hard to return it isn't it?????

body {
overflow: hidden;
}
// For noob designers

Played with the hololens today ... Its kinda nice but felt a bit glitchy in use ... Have to play with it some more

I think I get the tabs vs spaces thingy now 😄

Yup ... Shuddhavedonetranslationsfromdayone

GDPR course :/

So my recruiter decided to calc his own bruto salary(gross) over my netto one...

Turns out he missed about 800 euro in his conversion ratio... Motherfucker ... That sets me back 5 years in salary u asshole 😶

Works on my atari

Mandatory training ... Coarse introduction video crashes 20 secs before end, can only proceed with the coarse by finishing the introduction video ... 🤦‍♂️🙈🤷‍♂️

Not mentoring per say...

But I've had some colleagues that took quitting the job to another level, which can be just as inspiring as a good mentor

Left my bag in the interview room 😥
Not so good first impression 🤣
🤔Fuuuuk meeeeee🙄

So yesterday I heard that after they let my previous contract expire, all other front enders also left... Awesum!

Uninstalling android studio

🤔 Effective waste of evening

Scopechange and roadmap editing meetings, felt like a full team keelhaul 🤕

Weekend :/

DAMAPAFIL!

Interview went well, oh well 😄

Can drop shadows 🤔 drop shadows?

The moment you wake up from seeing yourself debugging code in your sleep is basically the moment you realise you have been baptised as a true developer.

What experiences have you had which you consider to be your development 'baptism'? :D