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Search - "moron brain"
Right, to all the drivers here, let's put some truths out there.
1) There are two sides to the road for a reason. It's to stop head on crashes. If you don't understand this, then you have no business being in a car, got it?
2) Cyclists are slow. Yes, it's annoying, yes you can be stuck behind them for a while, but if you're on a blind bend, DON'T FUCKING OVERTAKE THEM YOU MORONS!!! SERIOUSLY, DON’T!!! WAIT TILL YOU CAN SEE THAT IT’S CLEAR, DON’T JUST PULL OUT AND BE ON MY SIDE OF THE FUCKING ROAD DOING 50MPH ON A BLIND FUCKING BEND YOU UTTER SELFISH, DANGEROUS PILES OF STEAMING TURED!!!!!
3) Pot Holes. Theses appear on both sides of the road. If you see one on your side of the road, look ahead and CHECK IF THE OTHER SIDE IS CLEAR BEFORE YOU PULL OUT!!! I DON’T APPRECIATE HAVING TO DRIVE INTO A FUCKING DITCH TO AVOID YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO SCUFF THE TYRES ON YOUR OVERPRICED HIRE PURCHASE AUDI, OK??? MY TYRES ARE NEW, AND I’D RATHER NOT TAKE CHUNKS OUT OF THEM, BUT IN A CHOICE BETWEEN SCUFF THE TYRES IN A POT HOLE OR HAVE A HEAD ON CRASH, I’D RATHER SCUFF THE TYRES!!!!!!
4) On the subject of pot holes and referring to point 2, cyclists swerve to avoid pot holes. If they hit a pot hole, they could completely bail and end up dead. So, refer to point 2 and DON’T OVERTAKE THE CYCLIST UNLESS YOU KNOW FOR FUCKING CERTAIN THAT THERE IS ENOUGH SPACE TO CLEAR THEM - HOW BRAIN DEAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO PASS A CYCLIST WHEN THERE’S NO SPACE TO DO SO?
5) There is a stick to the side of your steering wheel. It’s called an indicator. This is an amazing invention that lets other people know your thoughts. Thinking of turning? THEN USE THE FUCKING INDICATOR, DON’T JUST SWERVE ACROSS THE CARRIAGEWAY WITHOUT WARNING - YES, MY BRAKES WORK, BUT THAT DOENS’T MEAN I WANT TO FUCKING TEST THEM ONCE EVERY HALF MILE!!!!!
6) If you are driving a tiny little shitty hatchback and you can’t stay on your side of the road on a bend, then you’re going too fast so slow the fuck down. You aren’t Colin McRae, or Mikka Hakkinen, you’re a moron. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!! DOING 60 ON COUNTRY ROADS IN A FUCKING CORSA IS A RETARDED THING TO DO ANYWAY, BUT IF YOU’RE SINGING ALONG TO SOOME STUPID TUNE AND NOT PAYING ATTENTION, YOU WILL CRASH!!! DON’T MAKE OTHER PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN LIFE, YOU DERELICT!!!
7) Fog lights. The clue is in the fucking name!!!! They aren’t drizzle lights, or rain lights, or wind lights, they are FOG LIGHTS!!!! THEY ARE BRIGHT, NOT DIPPED, AND THEY BLIND EVERY OTHER DRIVER WHO GOES PAST. TURN THEM OFF UNLESS IT IS FOGGY YOU INCONSIDERATE WANKERS!!!!
8) If you are living in the UK, and passed your driving test here, you have NO FUCKING EXCUSE for not driving properly. The UK driving test is one of the most comprehensive in Europe (probably with the exception of the Scandinavian countries), so how people end up doing the moronic things I’ve seen today I will never understand. Just don’t drive like a tosser, it’s really fucking easy!!!!!
Right, now that’s done, time for lunch and to see if I can get over the fear of today’s 20 mile hell journey!29
Adventures Of The New COO
So when that new COO joined our company ( read my previous rant to know that story ) he brought a graphic designer with him
as a designer he's ok, more of a old school package designer type, but as a person one of the most annoying one I've ever met, always want to be included with our conversations, talk about rain and stuff
so few days ago, i was working on a website, headphones plugged in, music playing, he comes near my seat
Designer: Are you busy ?
Me: yeah, I've this website to finish
Designer: So i have this idea for an app
Me: *taking off headphones while thinking doesn't this dumbass know the meaning of busy*
Designer: what if we create an app for super markets, like this isle has this stuff, that isle has soap or something and how it'll be easy to find what you want to buy and keeps going on and on for about 5 minutes
Me: *making my voice as polite and sarcastic as possible*
It wouldn't work, every market has a different layout even among same market chain it's different
Me: have you ever been to a super market, they have a board saying what the isle is above the isle, all you have to do is just look up
Designer: hmm yeah i guess
everyone wants to make apps and make money, but doesn't have the fucking brain capacity to think about the idea for a bit and do some research, instead they come and waste our time2
No, brain. I don't need to know Python.
Shut up, you already know Ruby, PHP, and a fuckton of front-end tech, you don't need to --
Do you remember the 3 projects that we aren't working on anymore because we have the PS4 and Assassin's Creed?
I already have a job, moron! It sounds fun, but we...
What am I doing on codecademy?2
Studying. I decide to study for an exam and not only the "coding-zone" is here, but I have an infinite amount of new ideas. Yesterday I fixed some old bugs in the matter of 30min, did some piece of working code for chrome-like notifications in 10min (working, not pretty) and today passed the exam. Slept 2 hours though.
Brain is insane, what do you want to hear...