My mate bought me a peach stressball that smells like peaches every time you squeeze. It has now become my coding companion.

I closed my work laptop yesterday around noon and dumped water on it. I was just so fed up.

Some spilled off onto my desk, though, so i gently moved (read: threw) the offending piece of plastic frustration onto the floor and carefully dried my desk.

On my way to the trash can, i stepped on the laptop. I stepped on it again on the way back, and later, on my way out the door.

I came in to get something half an hour later, and stepped on it again. It remained a stepping stone for the rest of the day, and accrued considerable foot traffic.

I spent the day drinking peach whiskey and playing with my children instead of working on reports. It was a good day.

Don't worry: my laptop still worked this morning, though I declined to.

Credit: thecrazyprogrammer

Unpopular opinion: I like JavaScript.

Internet explorer: Microsoft acquire github!

So I finished uni three weeks ago. Interview for a my first junior web developer position a week ago.

Received news yesterday that I got the job. It’s been a good couple weeks I’d say.

Finally got fucked off with windows crashing.
Tra bitch.

The bible has arrived

Well then 😂

Anyone else develop distain for a recruiter when they ask for your current salary?

What did Mario say to Peach before their divorce?

It’s not-a you… it’s-a me…

Finally I completet P.E.A.C.H.!
Now that I have a Vega 56:
Fuck you, stupid, old card!

So instead of drinking shit like Pepsi Max while coding on a weekend, and since it's so hot lately, I thought I'd buy a blender and some fruits and make frozen fruit drinks.

After unpacking the blender, I notice a booklet with a few recipes.

All I can say, is, ":/".

I'm thinking about making a frozen watermelon and peach drink right now. What do you guys like to drink when it's really hot (besides coffee)?

Quickly coming to the terms with the fact that software development inside companies is just the perpetual motion of putting out fires as quickly as possible just so customers can still be ignorant cunts.

Having a fantastically shitty day and it’s currently only 08:05.
Last night spent the entire evening moving into my flat and building the colossal amount of Ikea furniture, ended up going sleep around 3am.

Because of my fabulous two and a half hour work commute to work everyday I have to leave my house at 6am. Three hours sleep? Excellent start.
Leave my house at 6am good start, manage to get on my first bus no problem, bus driver being the horrendous cunt he is slams on his brakes because going round a sharp corner at 40 mph when the speed limit is 20mph is a fucking brilliant idea you cunt, consequently it sends my protein shake all over me, my clothes and my laptop. Cheers cunt.

So now it’s half 7 and I’m at the train station & I realise I’ve left my wallet at home. You’ve. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Me.
8 o clock roles over train inductor comes round asking for tickets and the power hungry scrotum drops a £60 fine on me. Cheers. You. Cunt.

So now I’m wondering whether I should just save myself the hassle get off the train at the next stop and jump in front of an incoming train.
Today can suck a fat meaty fiery cock from hell.

In one session 36 hours. I lost someone close to me and I kinda didn't leave my office for any form of social interaction for three weeks.

Approaching the end of my first week as a junior web dev.
Spent the week writing automatic web suite tasks for an entire e-commerce platform.
Arguable the best way I could have been introduced to the code base 10/10 would recommend.

Super Mario Odyssey neatly captures Mario’s archetype.
In this game, Bowser kidnapped Peach because he wanted to marry her. The whole game revolves around this idea.
In the end, Mario shows empathy towards Bowser when Peach says “no” to him.
Mario wasn’t saving Peach to marry her. He did it because he’s a hero. That’s his archetype.

There are few things I hate more in software development than writing mappings from shitty SOAP apis to JSON.

Found myself in a career predicament.

I’m currently working at a tech startup and it really does have the potential to really take off.
But recently the CEO has taken compressed working and remote working off the table for the most part which at this stage in my life is quite important.
Today I was offered a position at a different company with 4/5 days a week with a 10% pay increase.
Now the time has come to make a decision and I really don’t know what to do because I’m pretty sure the worst thing for me to do is make the wrong choice and end up kicking myself in a years time.
Was wondering if any of y’all have had to make a similar choice in your career

Came to the realisation that I wasted three years in uni, today my final grades were released - for those who give a shit I got a first

I was happy till I realised I got my dev position without them even knowing my final grade.

-Recently started a new job so I’m new to the infrastructure-

Spent the vast majority of the day trying to SSH into one of my company servers to sort some random bug out on the website & the connection kept being rejected despite the day before it working when passing the .pem key into the SSH along with the ip & my username, nothing new there.

Anyway, everyone’s mad busy so I don’t wanna bother anyone to ask why, so I check confluence, no documentation for SSHING into our scheduler or the code the server I need to access. Never-mind.
Spend another couple hours trying debug it on my own, no luck. Never-mind.

Finally seize my opportunity and ask for help; ‘Oh the server IP changes daily so you need to run a task through our scheduler that you need to SSH into to return the list of IPS and that dynamically changes so that’s how you get the IP’

Oh ok. Why is there no documentation for that again? I mean. Thats generally some pretty important information you’d pass onto your starters.
At least I can say I won’t be making that same mistake again.

I’m done with people who claim they don’t have time to do something.
Constantly hearing people complain they don’t have time to do things, oh fuck off you cunt. You work a nine to five, you get home at half five and you sit at home doing fuck all while you complain that things aren’t going your way.
Doesn’t even have to be about developing, lost count with the amount of people who claim they don’t have time to go the gym. Dickhead, you have a 24 hour gym three minutes away from your house. You could go after work, instead you’ll sit on your ass, eat a load shit and then complain you’ve put on weight.

If you’re doing fuck all to make things happen then you lose the right to complain about your circumstances. Stop blaming other people for your fuck ups because you ‘don’t have time’ to get shit done you absolutely holocaust of a human being.
While I’m at, fuck people who think it’s my soul mission in life to fix their shit, believe it or not I don’t give two flying fucks about your circumstances if you’re doing fuck all to help yourself.
Do me a favour and kindly drink some bleach.

I don’t, I just throw my self in a perpetual motion of bullshitery and self-loathing.

Coding languages but it’s simplified to the extreme:

Should I paint this wall peach or pink?

Coding critiques: You should paint it in green