That's savage..😂😂😂

My boss to me: Holy shit dude I think you have very serious case of OCD.

Me: :/

I'm not even done with this code and I am already dreading maintaining it. There is so much magic.

Me (6yo): Whatcha doing?
Dad: Programming.
Me: ???
Dad: If I type this on the screen and hit this key *color appeared on screen*
Me: *eyes go wide... Dad is magician*

And here I am nearly 30 years later still learning.

*Interview for 6 month placement*

Say you are chosen for the job; where would you see yourself in 5 years?

#code#

"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"

I left the building at that exact moment.

How to code

When you are on the third page of google, you know the shit just got real...

So I'm doing my thing... Suddenly all open windows start closing one by one and computer starts a shut down.. and i realize the windows update is coming..

But like.. can you at least give me a 2 minutes heads up? How the fuck such a process gets approved in microsoft?

"Yeah just close everything and force restart.. it's fine"

my all-time favorite xkcd comic. Many will know it already, but i think it's a nice start into devrant community and maybe a few will laughing as hard as i did when i've seen it the first time :)

The Company I work for has a new Website.
Me: opens inspector, changed an elements position.
Boss: "Stop! We paid so much for this you'll destroy everything."
Me: reload page, smile at him.

What is your type?

How all problems get solved at my office.

Sister was getting a new phone (she likes iphones but the jackplug removal made her go towards android as well as the prices) and there was this Deezer family deal. So she Signal'd me asking if I'd like to join the deezer family and I was like 'yeah sure but just remember that there's a big chance of me moving to another country after my study, is that okay with this subscription?'
Sales guy: It's limited to the country the official subscriber is in.
Sister: 'Oh but my brother is a smart IT guy, he can probably setup a VPN server here so that he can still use the app.'

She told that the face of the sales guys was like 'what the actual fuck just happened'.

She called me afterwards telling the story and also 'even though I thought I'd never learn about this stuff (I always told stuff at the dinner table), appearantly you taught me more than I realized!;.

Yeah, that was a very proud brother moment =).

And also the only witness 😂😂

What do you guys think of my setup?

When you are outside taking a walk with your family, but all you can do is fantasizing about running back inside to code.

#1 problem during summer months

Client expectation vs client budget

(overheard parents talking)

Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]

(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)

Doing Ctrl+C Ctrl+V for almost similar lines of code but forgetting to modify difference.

Was asked to check the sales team server as it was running slow.
Apart from redundant processes and users with too much permissions I found a "Cobol" folder under one of the sales team member's home folder.

If it weren't the sales people I would immediately disregard this as trolling but with them it's quite possible that this is a real attempt to learn programming...
...most likely from the facebook ads with the hooded guys that offer to teach you to code in 10 days for $800.