Push the node_modules folder to github so heroku won't need to run `npm install`.

My ex-boss, a self proclaimed dev, used to click on a folder on Windows, then right click, then click Open.

Write a bunch of "-" instead of <hr> to draw a line

Not knowing git or github. His idea was to exchange the code via SKYPE

Using Base64 "encryption" to store credit card numbers and passwords

Who needs css when you have <table>?

*Caps lock* *letter* *Caps lock* *rest of name*

public boolean even( int num ) {
if ( num < 0 )
num = -1 * num;
while ( num > 1 )
num = num - 2;
if ( num == 0 )
return true;
else
return false;
}

15,000 line main. It’s our flagship product. 🤮

Being 100% serious, I saw a guy in my Computer Programming I class using MS Word to write code that he would copy, then paste into notepad. When I asked him why he did that, he said, "Microsoft Word is easier to read than notepad."

He ended up dropping the class and changed majors.

OMFG I just realized that I was around at wk1

Fuck, Its been 99 already

Didn't get any words about that

I worked on a greenfield project a couple of years ago. The company had an old solution written in Omnis (heard of it? Yeah, me neither) with an SQL database. My team was to create a completely new web based system... on top of the old database, so the customers could keep their existing stuff.

The dba was an intelligent man, one of the nicest people I've met, and over the course of fifteen years he had made a remarkably terrifying monstrosity of a database. Some years before me they wanted to "future proof" the system and make it "easier to switch to new technologies". So they moved the entire business logic into the database...

I used a tool to create a visualization of said database when we started. It had no views, only tables and sprocs. Look at it! Tables and sprocs are rectangles (well, dots) and any connections are drawn in grey lines. There were no foreign keys, so a tables only visualization only yielded a collection of independent rectangles without a single line.

Now, the stored procedures were bloody MASSIVE. A single procedure that only registered a new interested party and attached them to a property had 2500+ lines and over 150 parameters.

Also, this dba added features and fixed bugs by logging into the respective customers production server and writing SQL.

That database is the stupidest thing I've ever seen a developer do.

Had a coworker who made an export program, which should run one time every 24 hours and create and export some files.

He made it with a timer, that ran 24 hours before doing anything. Which meant that when he made changes to the program, he would have to wait f***ing 24 hours to see the new result.

Typing "vim" instead of "vi"
Typing with 25wpm by looking at keyboard
Using mouse for copy/paste

100% Real. And it's not even the worst on the site.

It happened.

I wrote "you're missing a tab in your python code" as an answer on StackOverflow.

I was downvoted AND told that I wasn't correct: it was missing 4 spaces and not a tab, according to the python guidelines.

Now, I haven't read them, but my Richard Hendrix fucking intensifies.

Fuck spaces. And if python guidelines talk about spaces, fuck python guidelines too!

<marquee> coming back to websites.

The nub nub still hasn't mastered the art of the button 😂

When you use a new technology without reading the documentation first.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

++ if you have used Jira and liked it / found it valuable.

- - if you used it and didn’t like it.

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

What's the downside of having a "high tech" classroom with Bose speakers and a mid tier PC you say?

Hackers

So back in highschool we used to have these fancy "corporate" classrooms with speakers, PC and projector setup (plus really comfy chairs). Classrooms were organized in triads next to each other so we usually knew when classes where taking place next to us.

One day I decided to fuck around with teachers, I waited until he/she started class and I remotely blasted music or porn sounds on the third empty classroom and waited until the angry teacher rushed to the classroom then...silence...nothing but an empty classroom.

One day one of the teachers was so pissed because I orchestrated a Vivaldi concert with the 3 classrooms he rushed into ours and took a friend of mine who he had a personal grudge against, I kinda felt bad but not so much after my mate told me that was genius and that we should do it again.

Got a star on GitHub once

IT CAME!

I'M REALLY EXCITED! :D

The transition from developer to manager.

He should make tutorials: "How to cause an exception"

The teacher didn't show up and everybody left, so i did a little painting 😅

Problem: Trouble sleeping
Solution: Wine