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FINALLY
GODDAMNED
FIXED
I'VE SPENT OVER A GODDAMN WEEK SWIMMING THROUGH DEMON EXCREMENT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS TRYING TO FIND THE SOURCE OF THIS SHIT.
I FINALLY FOUND IT. IN A FUCKING. CONDITIONAL. OVERLOAD. OF A MODEL GETTER.
THAT ABSOLUTE NONSENSE RETURNS EITHER THE REQUESTED COLUMN FROM THE DATABASE, OR AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT COLUMN, ALL DEPENDING ON THE VALUE OF A THIRD FUCKING COLUMN.
HKJSDFASKFJ
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE.
THE VALUE IT RETURNS. IS COMPLETELY WRONG. FOR ALMOST. EVERY. FUCKING. CASE.
BECAUSE THAT FIRST COLUMN? IT NEVER GETS UPDATED. EVER.
AND THIS DEALS WITH ACCOUNTING AND REAL GODDAMN MONEY.
AARRGHHHHH
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!28 -
Wrote a script that calms the extreme use of exclamation/question marks and capslocked rants, do have to say, it makes it much easier to read many of the rants, it also adds small stats at the bottom of the rant
may sound like it takes the "fun" out of those rants, but it only triggers if the capslock is more than the lowercased letters
wish the devrant webapp was accessible from mobile, to use all them scripts on mobile too
25 -
Rage..
Boss: 'I've got a PowerPoint presentation with 45 charts in it. Oh, and a huge excel sheet with the data for it. Please build some of the charts in our own software, with the given data.'
Easy, I thought.
Yea, thanks to the person that gave my boss the data.. The half of the important columns were removed (privacy stuff).
And.. Excel? Oh, and his calculations are nowhere documented nor consistent.
I converted excel to postgres, easy.
It took me 2 hours to fkn research what he calculated in one line chart, just to implement it in like 10 minutes.
2 hours, man I could made awesome stuff in that time!
I guess I should write this in CAPSLOCK to make it more interesting. I'm just raging in my head 😂1 -
True Story:
Friend uses my laptop on which I have disabled the CapsLock key, seriously asks me:
How do I type capital letters then?
#DeathByFacepalm12 -
Who is the guy who designed the AZERTY keyboards ? 😠
Seriously... Alt Gr + 5 = [
And the most horrible thing is the "(" char... WHY THE FUCK DID HE PUTS IT IN THE "5" KEY WHEN KEYBOARD IS IN LOWERCASE ? YES, IN LOWERCASE, NOT ONLY WHEN SHIFT IS HOLD.
There are more than 100 keys in a keyboard, so why here? WHY?
Half of time I check if CapsLock is off just to be sure if I can open a bracket just because someone thought it was a good idea to put it here. It annoys me.13 -
So, finally after a very long time, I get a new keyboard (Ok, the previous one is 35 years old..), so lets see how technology has progressed in that time shall we..
First off, I'll need to plug it in..
Mm.. no spare USB ports..
No problem, I'll just go on Ebay, and buy some more !
They are expensive aren't they..
No problem, I'll buy this older cheap one..
When it arrives, I find out its wired up differently to what I need, so..
Rewire it, which takes ages of course.
Not having the best soldering iron, or anything really to hold the work with (Where did that rusty thing with lots of clasps go I had earlier!) and the only piece of wire I could easily find is covered in black goo, oh well, we can clean that off our hands afterwards..
Now, to plug in the new USB ports, I have to take out half of the inside of my PC..
So... that takes a while.
I seemed to have disturbed something, since now it wont' boot and complains of floppy drive error..
As a temp fix I unplug the floppy drive and disable it in the BIOS.
Now it boots..
Lets install the driver/etc.
Download it.
Install it.
Reboot.
Run application.
Nothing happens..
Uninstall it.
Antivirus software pops up, is unhappy about a file in the driver !
Google about it..
Install an earlier version of the software.
Reboot.
Run application, it works !
Adjust colours from pulsating make you seasick colour scheme to solid damp colour.
Reboot to see if colour sticks..
It does !
Place keyboard on desk in just the right place..
It rocks..
No I mean, it moves about, from front to back !
Why is it not flat !!!
Blu-tak time..
Actually, I forgot to mention I need blu-tak anyhow, to keep the two halves together, since it hasn't got a locking mechanism to hold the numberpad to it..
It's a 80/20 keyboard, or I should say, a 20/80..
So, what else do I not so much like about it..
Well, the font is too small !
It's way smaller than my previous keyboard and I really need to put my glasses on to read it...
Unlike my previous one, which was designed for old folk with less than perfect eyesight !
And the cable..
It comes out the back, in the middle..
Not the back and to a side..
And it leaks light everywhere !
It needs a skirt / cover around the keys..
(3D printer time.. which could also help hold the numberpad in place at the same time !)
Keys are rated for what, 50 million clicks or something, so should last me till I die..
Assuming something in it doesn't fail before then..
I guess no one does replacement key caps for it with a bigger font then..
So, the perfect keyboard still hasn't been invented yet !
Maybe in a few years I might design my own then..
Oh the keyboard, its an Asus ROG Claymore:
A couple more issues..
The capslock key is too wide..
The enter key is too wide..
So, how does it feel / sound compared to the old IBM Model M I used before..
It feels newer..
Snappier..
Crisper sound.
Maybe not so loud.
Though I'm pretty sure, everyone complains about blue keys being loud. :-)
It should be a little kinder on my fingers, need a little less pressure too.
And I now have this huge space on the right for the mouse to play !
(I got a new mouse recently too !)
EOF
23 -
For rating rants:
count the number of fucks/curses and find the rank of a given rant!
0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
51-55: WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENT
56-60: MID LIFE CRISIS
61-65:MASTURBATING WITH WORDS
66+ : MASTER GRAND WIZARD22 -
GIT IS TRASH
WHAT'S THAT, YOU SAY? I'M JUST BEING AN IDIOT WHO ISN'T GOOD AT USING GIT? I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR OPINION, I SAY! (eventhoughitstrue). I NEED TO VENT MY ANGER, AND GIT SHALL BE MY VICTIM.
GIT IS TRASH26 -
What's the strangest Assembler or Pseudo-Assembler you've ever encountered?
I wrote a Z-machine (Infocom's virtual text adventure interpreter) and it was quite an interesting interpretation of bytes:
- The first 3 bits of an instruction tell you the opcode category, the rest are the instruction
- The 2nd (and maybe 3rd) byte tell you in 2-Bit chunks the operand types.
- text is encoded in 5-Bit chunks, with special characters for CapsLock that double function as padding (if your text doesn't align with the 3 letters per 2 bytes).
- and of course there are 5 different versions that all work slightly differently (as in CapsLock becomes Shift or "this special character isn't in use anymore")3 -
DevMD. Anyone know a good little finger prosthetic? I have a CAPSLOCK hyperkey.
It is now exercise to keep my left hand flat and it reflexively clenches into a fist. Please help.3 -
There are two typed of computer users; ones that use capslock to capitalize the first letter in their words and the ones that uses shift. I don't count people that doesn't capitalize properly humans so I excluded them.3
-
Holy shit, finally had the time to look into tmux and also accidentally discovered you can resize the panes via ctrl+b then hold ctrl+[arrow-key] to resize it to any side, but I can't find any use for it all myself yet, since I just use some terminal emulator that has tabs or use the inbuilt virtual-desktop, still an exciting and cool thing to have played with, though I would def. change most of the hotkeys to something less capslock heavy, since it's rather awkward to first press ctrl+b then shift+2 etc.
-
Working on my new WebSite/Shop while discovering an Error....
I got a "Download" button as <input> that triggers an JS-Script that makes a POST-Request to a target=_blank, that downloads the file via a header (so that people won't know where the content is located, but I blocked the source with .htaccess, too)
So the error: While testing in Mozilla everything worked fine, but as soon as I switched to Chrome THAT FUCKING STUPID DOWNLOAD PAGE WON'T FUCKING OPEN! I HAD TO CHANGE IT FROM AN INPUT TO AN DIV AND TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT IT COSTED ME FUCKING 1 HOUR! FUCK YOU CHROME! FUCK YOU! YES YOU FUCK YOU! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! MOZILLA IS FASTER WHY THE FUCK DO I STILL USE YOU BESIDES OF PORN! OH WAIT I DON'T EVEN WATCH PORN BETTER UNINSTALL YOU NOW! FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU6 -
I try map my Capslock key to ctrl key while using vim and I search for this on stackoverflow and I found
```Linux? With X, use xmodmap to alter the key mapping, e.g.
xmodmap -e 'clear Lock' -e 'keycode 0x42 = Escape'
Will map Esc to the CapsLock key. Google for more examples.```
following command it will map Esc key to CapsLock key but when I run this command my CapsLock key did stop working and nor my esc key map to CapsLock key. How do I get back my Capslock key default working state, I mean I don't want to map Capslock key to ctrl key?7 -
Heres a truly vitrolic and unnecessary rant:
Package control for sublime is all well and good
through the command palette, but it's just
fucking retarded. How about you point me to a
FUCKING COMMAND to actually INSTALL A
MOTHERFUCKING PACKAGE YOU
FINGERPAINTING FUCKWITS?
Under babel plugin while browsing packages
on packagecontrol.io:
"Find it as Babel through Package Control."
FUCKING HOW?
What command?
What fucking command? How do I "Find" it?
The browse command just opens my
motherfucking browser. How do I fucking install
your fucking packages you assholes?
"Use autocomplete" except your god damn
autocomplete doesn't list "install package"
for some god damn reason because everything
web is a broken pile of utter shit, built
on a more shit, like a leaning garbage tower
of bullshit waiting for the smallest mistake to
take down the entire house of cards like
someone removing a leftpad on npm.
Maybe specify I have to enter
"install package" and THEN hit enter, and THEN
enter the GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING package name
on a separate god damn line for
some fucky reason.
Next time don't make a tool that breaks
motherfucking conventions. It's bad enough
every fucking look-at-me-im-smart cunt of a
dev and their dog has to invent a CLI and
then go and invent a new domain specific
language too motherfuckers.
Next tool that breaks convention around me is
gonna see the dev lit on fire.
fucking uppity cunts.
"Say thanks" the site say. I am not
feeling fucking thankful at the moment.
The least you can do if you're going to
contribute to open source, is not make things
actively fucking worse, least of all in the
fucking *documentation*.
FUCK count for this rant: 19 / 50,
RANK: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
50+ : MIDLIFE CRISIS / MASTER GRAND WIZARD
OF RANTS AND ANGRY-WORD MASTURBATION.
If you prefer to cheat, you may also include any
cursewords in general, but be warned, you'll
never know the sweet taste of victory when you
achieve the rank of master grand wizard.
Like when you were a kid, and you discovered
gameshark, and all your hopes of finishing that
one game became but a ruthlessly hollowed out
husk, somewhere where could-have-been childhood
memories and nostalgia go to die like the
graveyard of dreams
(the same place officer workers souls go).4
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