When your shower has more GitHub commits than you

This is documentation at a noob-program level. We had this one teacher, who shall remain unnamed, who used single letter variable names everywhere, who couldn't understand his own programs when they were shown to him.
PS - The picture attached is supposed to be an implementation of Kruskal's algorithm. Don't ask me what the variables mean.

!rant
Made the switch to debian. First linux experience. Have already setup my IDE's and programs i need for work (Atom, IntelliJ, putty, filezilla, etc) . Loving it so far!

A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them.

One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left.

The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots.

On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory.

One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!"

Every time there's an update for xcode, I claw back some measure of inner peace while waiting for it to download by pre-emptively rating it 1 star on the app store

Couldn't resist sharing this one

Desperately frustrated since my little brother started studying Software Engineering in college. I was so happy that he wants to do this, but they study 10 types of math and Java.
When he gets home from vacation watches movies for weeks and weeks. Haven't seen him write a single line of code for a year and some. I believe he thinks the outdated stuff and the piece of math they study will get him a solid job with the diploma.
I am a self-taught developer and for the past 11 years I have gaps in top of a week where I wasn't studying/coding/working and by watching him throw his good years ... this is not how I see good dev raise.
I was super pissed, because he started looking for a job last month (for me he has 0 knowledge to lend a job) after 50 applications he got 2 calls (one because of me calling an HR friend of mine and the little brat refused it). I tried giving him a part in project of mine - quick piece of work 2-3 days tops so he can add something to this one page empty CV and yet he refused.
I don't know what to do anymore. For me he has no real future if he relies on the stupid college education and the piece of paper with no real knowledge for the past 2 years of studying.

Which one are you

Beginner and an expert

"Everyone can code" - Tim Cook
Clearly you've never met my team!

My humble setup.
Sitting/Standing desk duet.

Customer.... I keep getting this error code
Me.... Deletes message box
Customer.... Wow you fixed that quick
Me.... That's why you pay us.

my best coworker...

It's funny how a man gets something done and gets a "Good work, John!".

But, a woman gets the same thing done, and gets "Good work, team!".

#RealFuckingStory #ItHappenedToMe

My sons homework:
Matt received 5 apples. He had eaten 3.
Question: how many apples left for him?
My son said 2.
NO! We don't know how many apples he has before. Remember to asaign 0 to variable!

There is a band called 1023Mb. They haven't got any gigs yet.

@bhargav-mogra This is Kotlin for you. In response to your rant about Swift ranges.

My friend after seeing devRant stickers.

What's devRant?

It's a Community for Developers.

Like Tumblr for devs?

No.

Like Facebook for devs?

No.

Like Twitter for devs?

No.

Then?

It's like devRant for devs.
凸(¬‿¬)凸

Yeah, you thought it right! This one aims for the stress ball...Come on devRants, I have faith in you!

We salute StackOverflow... We Salute 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

installed clipboard manager ..life is so easy now

I've been fucking around with arch since 9pm and now it's 2am...I have class tomorrow...why did I do this to myself? oh that's right because it looks beautiful.

isnt this an insult when the interviewer asks the difference between DELETE and TRUNCATE

Really dumb premission

Think we can get some devrant sodas up in the swag store?

That feeling we get when we have to work on someone else code which is un-documented and un-structured. The worst part of all these that coder as left the company without a KT

This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...

Hey no judgement 😂😂

I was asked to map a mathematical problem to an algorithm for first round of interview. I did it in 5 lines with O(n) and it worked. was told that was not the correct answer sent me an answer with O(n^2) and about 40 lines. in anger, I sent a five page mathematical proof along with analysis why mine was better. surprisingly, they took me in for second round. tanked it because I continually stuttered and froze. I was able to answer it once I got home. decided against sending it.