My new cup :D

Clients are synonymous with scope creep

!=Rant

Does any one else presses cmd+c / ctr+c multiple times just in case the first one did not work?!?

"Apple, it just works"
People, we might have misinterpreted the "just"!
"Apple, it only works [the way Apple meant for it to work]"

They better not meet then...

WordPress.

Makes sense now

Oh, well, of course ...

I thoroughly enjoy that both Google apps have different bullet point styles.

I must be desperate I'm on page 5 of google results

What the duck man? I need answers, not you popping your eyes over my bad code!

Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.

OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.

Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.

OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.

I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Programmers of today are like the monks of the middle ages. We use a language that people don't understand, we spend all our time sitting in a room reading, and people constantly ask us for advice but never really listens to the answer.

Truth be told. I'm funnier on the internet, but damn am I weird and socially awkward in real life.

The constant back and forth between imposter syndrome and God complex

Going back to put in comments after you realise your code is actually going to be used by others after all

Pair programming seemed awesome, until I started mentoring the guy who doesn't believe in holding farts.

I mean, I know everyone needs some relief now and then, but when I'm leaning over your shoulder to point out a bug in your code?

Fuck you, dude. You're on your own

Some guy my girlfriend knows, heard I'm a software developer. He had this 'great' idea on how he wanted to start a new revolutionary way of paying on the internet. He wanted to create a service like paypal but without having the hassle of logging in first and going through a transaction. He wanted a literal "buy now" button on every major webshop on the internet. When I asked him how he thought that would work legally and security wise, he became a bit defensive and implied that since I'm the tech guy I should work out that kind of stuff. When the software was ready, he would have clients lined up for the service and his work would start.

I politely declined this great opportunity

I was stuck in a conference call about fax machines, for an hour.

What year is it?

"we know java right? We should make minecraft"

Classmate in college

Our team is currently working with an Excel document that uses visual basic to talk to an embedded system. We're talking reading memory locations in Excel.

A social media alarm clock where people around the word will push the alarm button until you wake up.

When I die I want whoever wrote this excel program to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one more time.

Scrum master: "I am the person, who should teach you about scrum"

Same goes for my parents... lol

"So we have 20GB of data, we need to show ALL of it on the graph ... oh yea it needs to work on mobile"

behold! wk21 "it's like facebook but..." rants are coming.

Anyone here migrated from REST to GraphQL?

"I just started learning this Javascript framework aaaannnddd it's irrelevant. Okay then"

Fucking CSS the fuck you are so stubborn you fucking son of a bitch. Fuck you…....….…