Code I wrote: 15kb
NPM Modules: 198Mb

I know a few developers who do this 😂

Current state of NPM packages...

Source : Reddit

Too early for node_modules joke?

Npm lol....😂😂

Cheap way for space travelling :D

npm install .....

This is gold 😂

Junior Dev does npm install, Opens LinkedIn profile and adds Node.js in skills.

npm install

Kids these days... 😂

I believe by the time Elon Musk sets up a colony on Mars, npm will be done installing those fucking dependencies.

Company: "We'd like to use SQL Server Enterprise" MS: "That'll be a quarter million dollars + $20K/month" Company: "Ok!" ... Company: "We'd like to use Babel" Babel: "Ok! npm i babel --save" Company: "Cool" Babel: "Would you like to help contribute financially?" Company: "lol no"

Saw it somewhere on reddit haha

npm install *

Just found out how they generate infinite scrolling text for movies and TV.
npm install *

Life is like an npm install

You never know what you are gonna get.

I just hate npm dependencies.

If you want to write a small website with npm dependencies (some frontend deps like Bootstrap and some development deps like gulp or babel) you will have more npm dependencies in your project than own code. It is ridiculous, how some lazy developers just add dependencies to their projects, without evaluating their dependencies. The source code of one of my projects is around 4MB (without any dependencies). If you then run yarn as required, it grows to around 80MB (where 73MB are node_modules).

This is just terrible.

I rant about this, as I made the mistake to upload my node_modules directories when restoring a backup of my server. Worst idea one could ever have.

So pm2 (a node process manager package on npm) just caused thousands of CI builds to fail because of an "optionalDependency" on a package called gkt which is requested as a tarball from a server that was returning 503. That package consists of one file which contains this

`npm install yarn`

like getting your ex-GF to move your new GF’s stuff into your house

All hail NPM

A quick note about node.js security.

Decompiled Discord, a widely used chat app. Found 5 vulnerabilities (that are now reported.) Why? Severely outdated dependencies.

Cloned Mattermost, a business communication app like Slack, but open source, and (from their site) the Department of Defense uses it. Found 10 vulnerabilities (that are now reported.) Why? Severely outdated dependencies.

I get that some versions conflict, and in a fast moving enviroment, that is a huge risk - but update your damn dependencies.

They really got the keywords on point...
Thank you for making my day npm

Probably the best description ever

Started learning node.js

Please bless me node devs 🙏🏻

When you found an API for Dominos Pizza on NPM.. I think i eat pizza tonight

Note to self: Don't use npm in a Google Drive folder

You should probably upgrade to an older version

Thanks npm

Everytime I try to do

`npm install -g`

Just looking at mustache.js for templating, and I found this on their npm page... enjoy.

Anyone else hates being the only tech support guy around?

Me annoying our dev:

Me: “Is your npm watch running?”

Him: “Yes!”

Me: “You better go catch it then... 🤣”

Him: “....”

I think we gatta let him go :(

Thanks for the warning

Laziest thing!!!??? You better ask me when I was not lazy. Framework here framework there, library here library there.

npm install 29282818 packages

Bye

I love it

I just saw

`git add . --all&&git commit -m update&&git push`

as a npm script hook m) I don't even care, just surprised it wasn't named yolo.

I've been working on updates to a react app for a few hours today. Everything's been peachy except this shit job, this inane change demand list, my headache, my lack of quiet places to work, ... okay, so basically everything is terrible. But I've done lots of builds, and made lots of progress.

Then suddenly: my build script failed. 30 seconds after a successful build, with no (tooling) changes in between.

Reason? Incorrect version of Sass.
How? Fucking npm.

Isn't package-lock.json supposed to prevent this crap?

FAKDLKAUSUK.

throw laugh;

Package tsunami 🌊

$ npm audit

> found 19 vulnerabilities (10 low, 5 moderate, 3 high, 1 critical)

$ npm audit fix

> fixed 0 of 19 vulnerabilities in 11987 scanned packages

> (use `npm audit fix --force` to install breaking changes; or do it by hand)

$ npm audit fix --force

> npm WARN using --force I sure hope you know what you are doing.

Me too, buddy. Me too.

Npm install -g yarn

2016's version of using IE to install chrome. 🙈

Downloaded a Hello World template for a HTML/hybrid mobile app... My node_modules folder has a backup of The Internet now...

Fuck npm and the whole npm community!
Seriously, what a piece of completely uncontrolled cat litter!

First experience was getting malware from an npm package which I ranted about a while ago. That it can even happen is beyond my imagination.

Second experience was today when our app broke because a fucker who wrote a library doesn't understand semantic versioning.
If you're gonna publish an npm library, please do the whole fucking world a favour and learn how to version your shit correctly, so my app doesn't break! If you do BREAKING CHANGES don't change the fucking last version number you filthy piece of garbage!

Phew, that felt good 😧

When you try install babel-node instead babel-cli and got sweet message from the developer,, 😇

Hey look, npm broke my project again. Surprise!

Code and dependencies on my local machine, all untouched for a couple of weeks, no longer works. I've no idea how it even managed that.

Oh, and `npm update` crashes.

eventually solved by upgrading npm and running `npm update --depth 500` because some arbitrary child dependencies changed without updating the parent packages, ofc. on my local machine. without me having run `npm update` for about a month.

because of course that makes sense.
Second time in two months, too.

isn't npm great?

Really, I hate this composer / bower / npm shitholes!

Why the hell is my app 300MBs?!? Because that shitty pudding composer decided to download the ENTIRE git including README.md, examples, 5 hours of assembly-giraffe porn, my granny's pajamas and two wraps of kebabs!

How hard is it to define the folder that contains the REQUIRED library so that our project might stay at 5MBs instead of 300?

A moment of silence for the javascript devs downloading a 13MB of this guy along with their babel transpiler.

Fuck, I just lost a node module name.

A few days ago I had an idea for a node module, checked npm to see if the name was taken and it was not. Today I was going to publish it and found out someone registered it 2 days ago.

Now I'll have to think of another name or publish it under my username...

Me: This shouldn't take too long.
NPM: Hold my beer. 🍺

Oh yes, I very much like you, Mr. 1337-DevPro-Ultra-Haxxor. Thank you for using a boilerplate from github, that is bloated like some random female pr0nstar after an orgy. Oh and it is also very funky of you, that the setup scripts and tasks only work on Apple OSX, because using a simple gulpfile with 3 npm dependencies and 5 lines of code would not be trendy enough.

Some JS "devs" should be punished by drowning in their own feces aka a mix of bower, yarn, npm, brew and the crusty stuff that is left behind after running it.

When I Install An NPM Package .........

1.Runned The Install...

2.Watched the Progress Bar For 2secs

3.Got Bored, Opened Chrome for some entertaining content ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

4.Rechecked the Install after 20mins still 15%

5.Did take a break, ate something

6.Rechecked still 27%

7.Watched a little while the progress bar until I saw the Fatality.

CMD Has Stopped Working...

So my terminal gained consciousness and is second guessing me.

When neither you nor NPM think this is a good idea

Oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

npm install ...

Landing Page takes a minute to load...

Web Dev: Maybe I should another npm package to show a loading animation while the site loads... maybe even a small game...

npm install

(found on Twitter)

the evolution of a js dev:

solve a problem with somebody else’s code

solve a problem with your own code

solve a problem with npm install

I'm starting to hate js. Every library needs atleast 1000 other libs. I just blew the node_modules folder to 100mb with just one npm require

It's truly amazing how much a single line of perl can do. Such a time saver.

I only wish that I could understand what it does two days later.

-- So you like npm? Upgrade to version 5 to use its sweet features!

OK. Let's run `npm install npm@5`. Erm, my npm is now a broken mess, not finding `semver`.

-- Well, since you like npm you also will like yarn! It's just facebook's npm. So run `npm install yarn -g`

Yeah, but I wanted `npm@5` not `yarn`.

-- Then just run `yarn global add npm@5`. You then have npm@5.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

And yes, that works.

First I used to curse Gradle !
Then i started using npm
RIP!!!

The day a noob in the Web Development world starts becoming a Wizard, is the day they start to use Node and love it
👑🎩💻👨‍💻👩‍💻

I wonder how much of my life I have spent waiting for 'npm install'

npm i

Now waiting for the Internet to download....

Disappointment is real.

Hired a designer below me.. guy never wrote a full back nor frontend... Used npm shit for all his solutions and worked his way above me just by kissing ass and polluting the codebase in such a way 70% would be open source shitty plugins for shit he could not do by himself code wise...

At some point he assigned some of his tasks to me and I couldn't work with his patchy framework that was non existent within the codebase I worked on ...

At some point between npm installed tantrums I got pulled up to HR because my code quality dropped... And it was this fucktart that accused me of this saying I could not do modern development...

In the end I either had to butkiss after his butts or just quit, so I did the latter... I told him and HR I owned alot more code quality than this asshat but just not his way of working and therefor it was more an issue of code equality I was never aware of ...

A month after that the company got overtaken by some silicon valley bullshit company buying up competition, and he is still working within that shithole dealing with 90's tech...

Was the best thing that happened to me, after that I grew alot in skillset and such by investments from other jobs and projects... If I would still work there today I would consider myself a caveman

Release management at its best:

- Github says with latest release badge: 7.0.0
- Git has tags up to version 7.0.5
- Commits talk about 7.0.17
- npm (and package.json) says 7.1.0

Thank you for breaking everything.

CSS is awesome even for NPM

Him: "I don't need source control, it's just another program that does unknown things on my source files. What if one day it stops working?? How do I get my files??"

Me: "you could say the same thing on 90% of the tools you use every day... Like when you restore npm packages by GUI"

him: "what are those? I don't use them"

Also him: "command line is vintage"

Don't you just hate where we're going forward with these different JS frameworks and packages? WebPack, Electron and all the other ways we try to use JS for desktop development and a simple build of a tiny project taking 10 mins on an average spec core i7 machine, then overdosing on npm install since every frikn thing is now so modular you donwload a gazillion packages just to set up user authentication with a simple route manager in your app.

JavaScript is fine really for certain purposes. It's these other frameworks that try to modularize every single aspect of it that sucks. If there's anything called too modular, JS has reached it now. over-modularizing, and over-complicating everyday trivial tasks just to introduce yet another frikn package or framework.

Really missing the good'ol monolithic days of programming. I mean, modular is fine bro, but for godsakes draw the line somewhere!
#NoMoreOneLineModules

npm WARN deprecated

The 3 words I ignore most in my life.

Look what I found!

No Permanent Marker
Nice Police Man
Not Premium Member

Hit over 300 downloads on NPM! Not much, but it feels good and makes working on open source projects all the more worth it.

That moment when you found a perfect npm package but there's no f*cking docs whatsoever

as a node newb, i find this error weird.

I know last year suddenly lots of animated login popped out.
NPM actually uses one... and it doesn’t look that good

I feel like the web frontend landscape has gone to hell...

It used to be a priority to develop lean front end applications that load fast and work the same on most devices. If resources are required you try to share them. I have always liked the way this was solved using CDN.

Proper workflow: include some small libs you might need, script your interactions, test site, deliver.

And now our friends of the Javascript community have discovered the nuclear science called npm... It started off as this great benefit allowing frontenders to complete entire projects in the language they know and love but I feel like it has grown into an abomination that produces bulky applications with more boilerplate configuration than actual active code...

Surely I can't be the only one who is completely fed up with the direction this is going? Is anyone else looking for a lean way of developing javascript again using only a couple of small libs instead of those monstrous frameworks.

I have even considered to develop a library that makes it easy to develop with CDN (and dependencies) in mind but I don't even know if it will be worth it as more and more people tend to move away from it.

I'm sad

"We live in an age where people install npm packages like they’re popping pain killers"
~ David Gilbertson

`npx create-react-app blah`
`cdls blah && npm audit`

63 vulnerabilities.
good fucking job.

To be fair, they're all minor, but they're all *exactly* the same, caused by the same freaking package. Update your dependencies already!

------

`npm i --save formik && npm audit`
68 vulnerabilities, three of them critical.

ugh.

I always have two reactions when I see this...

1. Again, really...
2. `sudo npm install -g npm`

unpopular opinion: javascript has broken standards, and nobody corrects it. people use these frameworks and shit with 600 dependencies, then can't figure out how to update their application when things go out of date. now people are expecting you to use NPM to make a - - > static <- - website

Today I've published my first package on NPM \o/

sometimes I can't understand how I got my senior web engineer position at my age.

but then I look at my fellow senior cursing about some stuff that he doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand (today it's npm) and then I feel ok again :D

npm install wake_up
npm install do_laundry
npm install wash_dishes
npm install walk_dog
npm install water_plants

someone at work just said "ok...let's try npm -v"

and i almost just said out loud

"oh node, you didnt!"

After you make your 1st PR,
Gsoc is not far away! 😂

"How much of a dev are you, if you use other peoples work and just glue it together?" I once asked a friend who really loves npm and everything.

I know about code reuse and maintainability and all that but geez we had a long discussion..😅

I like npm errors.

So i installed nodejs on termux on my android smartphone to watch npm fail, even when I take a walk.

Great times!

npm install unemployment

Earlier this day, I was about to start a new project. So I copied my favourite gulpfile.js into that projects root and installed all dependencies with npm. After running Gulp for the first time it threw an error.

Silly me tried to fix stuff and got googling the error and trying random things... After a break of a few hours I just fucking rerun Gulp and read the fucking error completely. It stood there. The fucking solution just stood there, run "npm blah --force" to reconfigure package blah....

Of course it worked right away and I finally could start working. But this shit took way too long. Why I just can't read the fucking error message. Damn

npm install during a conference on the WiFi with 1,000 other developers. Good luck.

These fast-evolving JavaScript libraries are really testing my passion.

Just wrote my own webpack plugin for VueJS.

In serverless application there isn't a good way to pre render a single page web application as there is no server to do this task.

What we can do is use serverside rendering with webpack to locally (or in CI) generate the static HTML markup and include them in a template file like EJS.

In that way, the client browsers would not have to wait for the initial render and the search engines will also be happy.

This feels good! Time to upload it as a npm package 😇

when the junior dev updates all npm & nuget dependencies in the project to the latest beta versions to make an impression right after joining the project...

Kids say the darnest things 😂
"My npm is friendly"

Don't run `npm install` on your build machine. Use `npm ci` instead.

When I switched to Reactjs and replaced NPM with Yarn

I feel very sad. No one loves me....
.
.
.
wait.... I just read...

When being a developer means you give up sleep :p

NPM lol....😂😂😂

This PWA bullshit is such pain in the ass. I hate Javascript I really do, thousands of packages from npm just to make simple frontend. crazy

"I just started learning this Javascript framework aaaannnddd it's irrelevant. Okay then"

What's the point of using Node.js for web development?
We got a new guy at the company who made a website in Node. His project is over 300Mb large and his code is fricking ugly. The website is a showcase for another company.
What the heck is wrong with him? I mean, dude, just use fucking PHP or simply just make a static website ffs. It would only be <200 Kb.
Don't use Node for this because it's trendy...

seconds into 2019

I see one incompetent fucker asking to eval in Node.js..
A FUCKING FETCH OF A NPM MODULES IN CDNJS

you know what's the reason?

node_modules

Fucking kill me unless you're some dumb bitch who uses npm modules like some braindead motherfucker who doesn't know what a number is, node_modules takes only an average of 3.6MB

Compared to RubyGems who takes 40+
Or Pip

Seriously stop this. I wanna hang myself because my 2019 put me in a shit mood

So today it finally happened.

Npm modules broke my system and / or endangered the security of my system.

Installed a global cli utility
That utility depends on package A
That depends on package B

That fucking install a bin called sudo

Yeah.. You heard it right a bin called sudo.

This bin goes in the global module folder that is piped in your path variable.

Now everytime you type sudo you are running somebody else code instead of your system utility.

I am shivering and at loss of swear words.

Opened an issue on the cli that started this matrioska game of horror.

Who the fuck tought that a bin called sudo would be a good fucking idea?

Oh and yes is even an harmless package that try to provide the sudo experience for windows (I went in to check the code of course..)

And I frigging need that cli for work

For now I aliased the sudo in my bashrc still i feel vulnerable and naked now.

"Your disk is almost full..." Hmmm... I can't deal with this right now - so I search for npm_modules and just delete all of those folders... 5 minutes later - trash is empty... and the disk is not almost full.

Started learning NodeJS...
Now I have to npm install brain to think 😕

P.S: I like it though😂

I like JavaScript as a language. But I hate absolutely everything around it. All of these tools just make things more difficult. Sometimes when I clone a project I want everything there. I don't want to then wait 30 minutes to download the latest version of every library used, with at least one of them always breaking something. I don't want to have to use npm or grunt or whatever. Just give me the damn thing I need not make me spend 30 minutes running round in circles! Never have these problems in any other language!

Come on WebAssembly!

What seemed like a simple task of upgrading our angular project and adding universal to it, is slowly beginning to feel like an impossible mission.

Fuck you npm, fuck windows and fuck whoever thinks javascript/typescript can be used for every god damn thing.

I fucking give up

Sick and fucking tired of this bullshit.
Previously worked with Laravel, used 'gulp watch' to watch for changes in assets and now they changed things for the better of Laravel Mix as a fucking wrapper for webpack. Now I have to do shit load more stuff to get gulp working, 'cause otherwise my 'npm run watch' shits itself every fucking time I run that shit, doesn't matter what fix is aplied. Battling that bullshit for 3 days now and shit's not working anyhow. Stupid fucking bullshit. Sorry, had to let it out from myself.

Uh oh...

Just npm install
Then npm run dev

Aaand

Nothing works

That time when one of the npm modules you use gets a patch that contains a breaking change. You fix your code. Then a week later the module patches again and revert the breaking change. :/

npm install npm

Stupid node and all its package version inconsistencies...

Friend asked me how to start a node server. I gave her starter code and told her to do “npm init” then “npm install” ur modules. This is what she did

Is npm the new jQuery Plugins site?

I am learning angular. As a beginner, I feel there is too much fiddling with this thing :-( ...anyway, I guess when you are used to it and understand why everything is the way it is it becomes normal and understandable.

Thinks of some cool npm package to build.

Thinks of a cool name.

Goes to npm to check if the name is available.

Finds the exact package instead ;-;

just imagine Microsoft buying NPM

I love how NPM packages explain their options.

work with npm, node and angular is a totally mess, random errors every few minutes, you need to be lucky to find the right alignment of planets to make things works...cannot wait to go back to .net and vs

The moment I need internet to do things (npm with angular), but the company moved to a new building and internet is screwed. It'll still take a while to set up. So now I'm sitting here, ranting on devrant and doing nothing.

My exact face and thoughts right now:

The joys of having NPM put all my dependencies sub-dependencies in my modules folder ☺️🔫

80% of my internet traffic is used by npm install

Genuinely fuck NPM and Homestead on a Windows environment.

I learned today I can "npm install" directly from a GitHub repo. This allowed me to create a React component (viewer of gLTF files) for a 3D game and share it with my team. I know I could've published it to npm registry, but I didn't want that since it's a very specific component for our project, and private npm packages are very pricy.

Hope this random !rant will be useful for someone wanting something similar.

Thought to let you folks know who doesn't know about `pnpm`.
• no duplication of libraries. Second time the libs will be symlinked
• you can alias a library and it's separate versions.
• blazing fast.
• almost feels like python's package manager.

Every nodejs programmer:

How do I check this variable is an array?
npm i isArray

How the fuck does a library with such shit documentation that makes no fucking sense have 43k+ weekly downloads

npm is the WORST MISTAKE THAT HAS EVER HAPPEND TO SOFTWARE ENGINEERING. I HATE IT AND I REGRET EVER READING ITS DOCUMENTATION, SO MUCH WAISTE OF TIME ON ABSOLUTE JUNK

I had a problem - X

I googled, problem -X

Google - npm install --save X

Problem solved

yarn > npm

Thank you for reading.

Fuck NPM auto-pruning packages that aren't defined in the package file. MY SHIT RELIES ON YOU *NOT* DOING THIS, AND THIS JUST MAKES IT FUCKING BREAK, THANKS.

I updated NPM for good, but now i'm starting paranoid 😫

Error: Can't find Python executable "C:\Users\*****\AppData\Local\Programs\Python\Python36-32\python.EXE", you can set the PYTHON env variable.

hmmm what if I go to that location

Python 3.6.4 (v3.6.4:d48eceb, Dec 19 2017, 06:04:45) [MSC v.1900 32 bit (Intel)] on win32

ಠ_ಠ

I wonder if NPM prevents allowing a package to be it's own dependency. If not I have important trolling business to tend to.

When a 1kb file generates a 1.113kb error message

When you install npm to install an older version of npm to install a yeoman and install a generator that generates a generator.

So I actually prefer npm to most other package managers (with the exception of go's package handling).
Like you need to look no further than to pip's hell of package management, to start appreciating how clean npm is.
***Shots fired***

I don't know what to say...

That's why we love NPM:

>npm install
*installing packages*
npm warn ........................
npm warn deprecated .....................
npm warn .......................
********** A million times more ***********

Oh it works! eh, just ignore every warning :)

Installing 1 NPM package...

350 more dependencies installed :D

Finally found a free noun on npm... I realized though, I have no idea how to promote a package I've built anymore. The internet is too noisey... Hmmm, how do you successfully get the word out these days?

NODE CRYPTO YOU PUSS RIDDEN CANCEROUS CYST ON THE SWEATY BALLSACK OF THE INTERNET... fucking explain to me how every mother fucking module in node with require(‘crypto’) in it throws a hissy fit at runtime when I call only 1 file with it in it?! These packages that I’m not fucking using by the way but are nonetheless included by default in node are the ones having a meltdown.. and nodes answer?! Use the embedded functions. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!! If I didn’t need it Node could go and get gang raped by an angry pack of silverback gorillas. Fuuuuuuucccckkkkk yoouuuuu

Python, fuuuuck youuuu and your stupid packaging system, and python devs who are bashing on js you douchebags ever tried NPM !!

Fixing the npm permissions..
This should be covered by a giant red light and skulls.
If you don't see the warning you broke sudo

npm install linux 😂

Confession: I've been installing npm packages globally using sudo for years just because I'm too lazy to set it up properly.

I did npm install 1 hr ago. It's still on 70%

All this small node modules in the npm repository that is a fork of another with a name that sounds almost like the other. It's a jungle. Then things are abandoned or changing name. How much i like coding nodejs based projects I really feel bad of the total mess with that repo. Freedom and a lot of projects are good. But the mess is like the flat of a young student that hasn't been cleaned in a year.

While setting up a node app while sitting behind draconian proxies:
- first, set $http_proxy & $https_proxy
- set git proxy
- then, npm proxy, jspm proxy and bower proxy
- followed by strictSSL to false.....
After moving to home network/VPN, change all of these proxies again. It is a never ending vicious circle :(

When syncing node_modules via nfs to Vagrant it's an even better excuse than 'it's compiling' - it literally takes 2-3 hrs and the ssd request is pending for over a month now. Looks like nobody sees it as an issue...

Every time a new javascript framework / npm module is released, an angel gets her wings ripped off.

We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.

I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!

I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.

Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.

Do you keep misspelling 'install'? npm's got you covered.

Stay away from webpack people. Stay FAR away from webpack, please.

JavaScript libs have a massive problem with quality and especially with quality of documentation and error reporting

For the entire day I've been staring at this stupid error and can't figure it out. The documentation stating that the source function sets the source dir, but not actual saying what 'source dir' means or what paths are resolved against it is no help either

npm is actually really awesome but almost every library I've tried just fucking sucks

wire hell - > assembler hell -> DLL hell - > npm/nuget hell

History repeats itself.

We moved to Yarn too fast. It keeps failing my build. I miss npm :(

Dijkstra 1988: "Unfathomed misunderstanding is further revealed by the term 'software maintenance', as a result of which many people continue to believe that programs —and even programming languages themselves— are subject to wear and tear. Your car needs maintenance too, doesn't it?"
npm 2018: "Naaaah!"

5,000,000+ downloads the last week, npm lib...