"We need you to build a feature on our website to stop people taking screenshots. I can use the print screen key and then easily print out our website design. You need to make the site design harder to copy".

This is an extract from a recent client email I received. To say I'm in shock is an understatement.

In India we don't go rubber duck debugging. We debug with God 😂😂😂 (For non Indians that is Ganesha, one of the famous Hindu god. Said to be the god of knowledge and hence engineering by extension )

You know when the developer is in big trouble !

CAPSLOCK

Programmer at an eye test...

The bugs have learned to hide

When you introduce new bugs while debugging old ones..

When your desperate for food!!!

Installing Nvidia drivers in Arch linux right now. Tell my family I love them.

Just ordered my rubber duck. It'll be here in 2 to 3 business days...

So our lift has only two buttons

My 6 year old has been learning about trees at school, and had questions for me. Needless to say, she now has the best understanding of data structures in her class, and I expect parents evening will be "interesting"

Interviewer - so what's your email ID?

Candidate- sir, abc@xyz.com

Interviewer - and password?

Candidate- 12345678

Interviewer - you shared such a confidential information so easily for the job. How can we trust that you will not share any confidential information of the company for some better offers?

Candidate - Sir, I might have shared my password with you but I don't think you can still login to my email account. Let's look for the possibilities. My password can be

12345678

Or

Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight

Or

1twothreefourfivesixseveneight

1twothreefourfivesixseven8….. so on

Or

2444666668888888 (one 2, three 4….)

13355557777778 (1, two 3, four 5……, 8)….. so on

Or

Combination of all of these…

By the way, did I mention use of capitals? 😂

Finally that candidate was offered with the position as
" HR Manager"

"It is just a small task. I can do that in just..." Never ever ever say the above statement even if you are 10000% confident.

HTTP return codes cheat sheet :
1** : Hold on
2** : Here you go
3** : Go away
4** : You fucked up
5** : I fucked up