Manager: Why haven’t you shipped any code today? It’s almost lunch.

Dev: Stuck on a bug

Manager: I’ll help you

Dev: Please don—

Manager: Have you tried thinking outside the box?

Dev: …Dear god please end my existence

Manager: You could try stack overflow too, have you ever used that site before?

Dev: 😮 🔫

Manager: Also sometimes bugs are caused by npm modules so rule that out first

Dev: *On knees praying to Zues for forgiveness and/or conveiniently placed lightning strike*

Manager: Why aren’t you working?

Dev: I am, I’m just not typing because I’m thinking an issue out.

Manager: Well what is taking so long? You haven’t written any code for like 15 minutes, you’ve just been doodling on your notepad.

Dev: I’m not “doodling”. I’m taking notes and trying to visualize the issue. It’s a complicated issue with application stat—

Manager: Well just simplify it then

Dev: ?

Manager: Instead of making it a complicated issue just simplify it and then it won’t take you so long. You’re likely overthinking it, I never spend more than 30 seconds thinking about any issue before coming up with a solution. That’s what makes me so effective at my job is my ability to be lean like that.

Dev: …this issue is a bit harder than deciding what to have for lunch

VSCode, the only thing I hate about this is, it becomes too lag after I left it too long. Probably because of the vin extension, I typed something and it only came out 1/2 seconds and I have to restart my laptop 😭

Linux ❤️

Motherfucking Microsoft piece of shit. Next time I hear someone talk anything other than trash about Windows 10 I'm gonna bash his head in. Over one week of rendering gone because the Microsoft motherfuckers decided that they can restart whenever they want. Installing wanna cry is less destructive than this virus sold as an operating system. People liking this Win10 shit must be really REALLY fucking stupid. Fuck you

Programming in the middle of the woods and getting smashed by a running buck deer chasing a doe during mating season

So are scammers using GitHub now? Like wtf is this 😂

I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:

Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*

WTF is this high school?

Best joke I have read this week...

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.