So I was minding my own business and I got a call.

Caller: Is this Fodian?

Me: No it's Floydian. Who do you want ma'am?

Caller: We want to talk to Fodian. Just tell me are you Mr Fodian or not?

*Realises they want to talk to me and wil never be able to pronounce my name right. The lady is barely able to put together words of English to communicate*

Me: Yeah tell me, I am Fodian.

Caller: Are you looking for a job?

Me: *desperately looking for a change* Yes. I am. Tell me more.

Caller: Could you tell where do yoy currently work?

Me: I work for *inserts name*.

Just for the records, my employer is one of the world's top 5 multinational software conglomerate.

Caller: Umm.. sorry never heard of that company. We only work with top global brands. But looking at your profile, we will consider you even if you are from small company. We believe in equality.

Me: *fuck you and fuck your equality cunt* wow! I feel great 🤗

Caller: Will you be comfortable in relocating to different city because we will place with top company. *inserts some shitty company I have never heard of*

*Googles the company. Name doesn't exists*

Me: Ummm... If the opportunity is great then sure.

Caller: So we have a Jr Support Engineer role which matches perfectly with your profile and very few get the opportunity for this role.

Me: *wow really? I am fucking tester* I feel lucky to get this opportunity.

I realised that this was a fraud call and try to goof around a bit. The bitch didn't even know about my profile.

Caller: Okay I will forward your documents to my supervisor for next round. But before that you will have to complete our process.

Me: Okay. What's that?

Caller: You need to transfer 10K to our account as consultant fee or you will be disqualified from this opportunity to work with big company.

Me: Fuck off bitch. *Disconnects*

The spammers are fucking everywhere. And these fake recruiters just waste time.

The bitch can go deep throat an elephant while he drowns her in his gag.

I was looking for about a month for a laptop. Then on this one magical day I open kijiji and see a Toshiba Thinkpad T450s with 20gb of ram, 138 ssd and an i5-6300U cpu going fo 500$ (value 2000+).

My first thought was. Okay. Scam alert. But you know. What if?

So I call up this person. And its a girl who got a pc from her bf, but really she wanted a mac so she is selling it.

This straight up blew my mind. I decided, fuck it. Got 500. Ran to her. Ran a systems check on the laptop. Checked for any attempts at opening it up. Checked the harddrive. Checked the ram. Everything is solid.

Long story short. Thank god for apple fangirls!

I know it wasn't ethical, but I had to do it.

Semester 4 started this week, we all got to vote which day we wanted the lecture to be held on. There were quite a few options. My preference was Monday at 7:30pm.

So I entered the poll, as I have every other semester. But I noticed something, this particular poll didn't require any form of identification. Not even a Student ID.

I dug deeper, found that it used local cookies to store weather you'd voted or not, this is obviously a security problem, so I opened up Python and wrote a simple Selenium program to automate this process.

I called it the "Vote Smasher". First it would open the webpage, then it would choose Monday 7:30pm and vote. Then it would clear it's cookies, refresh and do it over again.

I ran it fifty times.

Can you guess what the revealed vote was for UCD SP4 IT was?

I heard my lecturer mutter:
"The votes aren't usually this slanted..."

I could hardly contain my giggles.
My vote won by about fifty over the others 😂

Let me just say, it was his fault for choosing such a naive poll system in the first place 😉

This happened few hours ago.

Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.

That moment when you are on terminal, you highlight text and press Ctrl+C, only to realize you have terminated a running job that was 90% complete.

college is a pyramid scam scheme

rofl 🤣

40% of AI start ups don't use AI.

Phoney call from MS:
- We at Microsoft have detected an issue with your PC.
- Oh, I only have a Mac.
- But that is fine, I will transfer you to the Mac department...

I'm so excited!

So are scammers using GitHub now? Like wtf is this 😂

The word 'Developer' is a respectable title but when you hear 'WordPress Developer'....

My CEO: "So! You are the new guy we hired to design and manage the implementation of our new state of the art super-duper fancy ERP solution with badass Business Intelligence systems to grow our company which already spans over several localities across the county, that has to live for at least the next 12-15 years?

Please remember that the Windows Server in the rack in the basement needs replacement soon, and that our new fancy solution must not in any way utilize cloud-technology or SaSS! I don't like that! I think it's a scam! We store everything on premises, own our infrastructure and we buy our software...Because I think that is best!"

Me: "So... let me get this straight: You want me to build you a one-off, concept sports car that can outperform a Lamborghini using only plywood, duct-tape and a donkey cart?"

He walked off... I may need a new job next week!

So my Cyber Security lecturer was talking about scam emails and how potential hackers can spoof their identity in order to gain information or get some malware on your PC.
Since this was all really obvious, I decided to email him with a crude scam email myself for the lols.
To his credit he saw the funny side.

So, in my Country there are people actually selling 40 empty folders for about 3 dollars... As a gift they also send an empty .doc file... And people are buying it!!!

Fuck off with your shit ass semicolon jokes. You searched for semicolon for 4days? Fucking retard with a sack of balls instead of eyes can understand that he's missing a semicolon in matter of seconds. It's going to be 2018 soon. Get a fucking IDE that says that you are missing a fucking semicolon. The error literally fucking says "; expected at the end of expression". Ugh...? I wonder what that means... Maybe something is wrong with my operating system or my PC. Fuck off with that shit. Try debugging some systems that have 2files with 15k lines in each of them with 200fields and all of them strings both with empty default constructors. Semicolons... My ass..

Scammers mann:
——————————————-
“Hello sir, you have to renew your subscription before tomorrow else you’ll be charged $299.99 from your bank account.”

Me: And what’s this subscription you’re talking?

“Your Microsoft antivirus subscription, sir.”

Me: Oh wow, and when did I subscribe to this?

“Three years ago, sir.”

Me: lmbo. Please find someone else to scam.

“No sir, it shows here that you subscribed to Microsoft antivirus 3 years ago.”

Me: Dude, I was in college three years ago. I was too broke to be subscribing to useless stuff like this.

“But sir, its an antivirus. You subscribed to protect your Windows PC from viruses, malware so that bad people and hackers don’t get into your computer to do bad things and steal your info.”

Me: Well, what a coincidence. You’re describing yourself except you’re trying to attack my bank account not my pc. And oh, I’ve been using Linux for the past 5 years and currently own a MacBook so good luck finding someone to fall for this.

“Oh, I see. Sorry.”

*Scammer hangs up.

Lmbo, like dude seriously?

Unfortunately though, someone at my work mother fell for this and had to close all her accounts and create new ones.

When it's been 4seconds since you posted a question on Stack Overflow and no one has answered it yet.

So, if Steam, a massive company, uses the <br> tag 797 times repressively it must be the best way of adding spaces.... Right?

Hello!
I'm a member of an international hacker group.

As you could probably have guessed, your account [cozyplanes@tuta.io] was hacked, because I sent message you from it.

Now I have access to you accounts!
For example, your password for [cozyplanes@tuta.io] is [RANDOM_ALPHABET_HERE]

Within a period from July 7, 2018 to September 23, 2018, you were infected by the virus we've created, through an adult website you've visited.
So far, we have access to your messages, social media accounts, and messengers.
Moreover, we've gotten full damps of these data.

We are aware of your little and big secrets...yeah, you do have them. We saw and recorded your doings on porn websites. Your tastes are so weird, you know..

But the key thing is that sometimes we recorded you with your webcam, syncing the recordings with what you watched!
I think you are not interested show this video to your friends, relatives, and your intimate one...

Transfer $700 to our Bitcoin wallet: 13DAd45ARMJW6th1cBuY1FwB9beVSzW77R
If you don't know about Bitcoin please input in Google "buy BTC". It's really easy.

I guarantee that after that, we'll erase all your "data" :)

A timer will start once you read this message. You have 48 hours to pay the above-mentioned amount.

Your data will be erased once the money are transferred.
If they are not, all your messages and videos recorded will be automatically sent to all your contacts found on your devices at the moment of infection.

You should always think about your security.
We hope this case will teach you to keep secrets.
Take care of yourself.

>> RE >>
Well f### you, thanks for telling my password which is obviously fake. I have sent your details to the local police department, shall rest in peace. Don't earn money by this kind of action. STUPID!

Even though I'm a web developer I work in a very small IT department, which includes just me and my colleague.

Yesterday we got a pretty usual request. Someone forgot the password to an excel file. We already started a brute force attack, but we had some fun going through the worst passwords we ever stubbled over in our carrier.

He was like:"Maybe it's just his name?"

Me: "Oooh or maybe it's just the brand and 123?"

We laughed a lot. Not really considering we could crack this "important" file.

But it really worked out. The password was the brand of the business unit and "2017".

I've sent everthing back to the user, telling him exactly how we cracked it... His answer was:"Oh yeah! I knew it was something easy, so me and x could remember it easily!"

...

Why do you forgive easy passwords anyway? If I can crack it within 5 minutes... Everyone can! ...

And if you do it to "remember it easily"? Why the fuck don't you remember it?

When the school network blocks social media and I over hear some young scrubs...
Scrub1 - "Yeah I use 3 VPN's"
Scrub2 - "Really I only use one"
Scrub1 - "Get some more dude"

I walk over and ask what VPN stands for and one slowly says "Virus Protection umm ahh...... Network"

Fuck the media. The average persons view of programming...

010100010100
010100001101
010111110101
101010101111

"So what does the code mean?"

😣

Sell 1000MB drives at the price of a 1000GB drive, and some people may think its a typo.
I'm about to get rich.

The day Dev Rant goes offline...

Google...

The other day I got a call from Windows Support about my computer being infected with a virus. I only have a Mac but knowing this was a scam call I played along for 15-20 minutes. Then I finally told the person calling that I don't have any computer running Windows and he got quite angry and wondering "why are you wasting my time?". Told him it was to prevent him from calling and scamming other people. He yelled "fuck off" and hung up. Made my day :)

How do you handle these phone calls?

Ordered a new 34" Dell Monitor which should have been delivered today. The lazy ass mailman tried to scam my neighbor by telling him to pay 1000€ for the packet... (Amazon doesn't use cash on delivery)
FUCK OFF IDIOT, I HOPE YOU LOSE YOUR JOB BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO DO YOUR GOD DAMN WORK AND COLLECT THE PACKET ON MY OWN.

I was offered to work for a startup in August last year. It required building an online platform with video calling capabilities.
I told them it would be on learn and implement basis as I didn't know a lot of the web tech. Learnt all of it and kept implementing side by side.
I was promised a share in the company at formation, but wasn't given the same at the time of formation because of some issues in documents.
Yes, I did delay at times on the delivery date of features on the product. It was my first web app, with no prior experience. I did the entire stack myself from handling servers, domains to the entire front end. All of it was done alone by me.
Later, I also did install a proxy server to expand the platform to a forum on a new server.
And yesterday after a month of no communication from their side, I was told they are scraping the old site for a new one. As I had all the credentials of the servers except the domain registration control, they transferred the domain to a new registrar and pointed it to a new server. I have a last meeting with them. I have decided to never work with them and I know they aren't going to provide me my share as promised.
I'm still in the 3rd year of my college here in India. I flunked two subjects last semester, for the first time in my life. And for 8 months of work, this is the end result of it by being scammed. I love fitness, but my love for this is more and so I did leave all fitness activities for the time. All that work day and night got me nothing of what I expected.
Though, they don't have any of my code or credentials to the server or their user base, they got the new website up very fast.
I had no contract with them. Just did work on the basis of trust. A lesson learnt for sure.
Although, I did learn to create websites completely all alone and I can do that for anyone. I'm happy that I have those skills now.
Since, they are still in the start up phase and they don't have a lot of clients, I'm planning to partner with a trusted person and release my code with a different design and branding. The same idea basically. How does that sound to you guys?

I learned that:
. No matter what happens, never ignore your health for anybody or any reason.
. Never trust in business without a solid security.
. Web is fun.
. Self-learning is the best form of learning.
. Take business as business, don't let anyone cheat you.

The sad reality 😁

I receive those Nigerian prince scam emails all the time. I've always wanted to know more about them. So I sent them an embedded IP grabbing image link in my reply.

Turns out they really are from Nigeria. Just reported them to their ISP. Take that you pricks 😛 !!!

The mysterious all 0s number called yet again.

I had my headphones on so I answered during class, but didn't talk.

It was a "debt collector" and she used my mother's maiden name saying that we should pay or something like that.

The woman was human, but used a computer generated voice to say my mother's maiden name.

So... I guess it's a scam caller.

Give a Nigerian Prince an e-mail account and he will scam the net for a day,

Teach him how to phish, and he will prosper for eternity!

Mr Robot 3.0 is out and after watching first episode....

My private Email Account got hacked when I was in school, and they sent out a mail with something along the lines of "hey, you should really use this product to lose weight, it is great" to all of my contacts. Many of them ignored it, some of them called me to inform me about the issue (the worst part was, long after I used 2fa and changed passwords regularly, they still had my name and contact list, so they just made email adresses that looked like mine and continued to send out spam to my contacts). Anyway, one teacher of mine didn't know that this was a scam and was insulted because I regularly sent emails about her losing weight. And as if the whole situaion, which I couldn't do anything about, wasn't bad enough, my parents and I had do have a 1h conversation (which ended up in me explaining how those hacks work, and luckily she understood, but still). Never again. I prefer those fake ms support guys that call me over this every day.

My friend just got this message.

In case anyone of you don't know, this offline version of 'new singles in your area'.

India is still stuck in 1980s.

Anybody interested?

Looks legit...

Encountered this is my computer science lab.

One of the most useless keys. Majority doesn't know what it does. And now there's two of it xD

Goodbye productivity, hello Zelda!!

*Deletes system32*
Omg why it's not working anymore? Holy shit windows suck. I didn't even do anything and it stopped working. Fucking useless OS.
sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
Oh it's understandable it's not working anymore, I fucked it up myself.

When you want to make a cool program with a GUI but you are shit at designing 😐

When your school assignment is to analyze a chosen website and you decide do go above and beyond, testing the sites security but after one SQL injection you get IP Banned.
GG.

Ma aunt sent me this right now. Look at how it's written. Sounds like all the crap movies compiled into a pile of shit.

"Dude, your joke about eclipse IDE is so original and funny!".

It's pretty good deal, if you ask me !!
Gotta buy one, so that I can be online even after I'm dead, earth gets destroyed, sun gets turned into Black hole and collision of milky way and Andromeda Galaxies.

~ Freelancer.com Week #1 ~

Project: I need someone to debug an application's code and review it. Budget 30 bucks.

Bid: I am an experienced developer I can probably review it in an hour.

client: Hi, need you to check if app is contains virus [link to scam website]

me: sure, download supposed "social Bitcoin miner" and run some AV tests...8+ positive flags for a Trojan virus.

>Me: It's a Trojan virus mate it's not legitimate😟

>Client: Can you remove the Trojan virus so that the legit not stays?

Me: Umm there is no bot mate it's just a virus 😕 I wouldn't open it outside a sandbox

Client: But here it says Bitcoin faucet bot [links shitty how-to youtube video]

Me: 😒 it's not real dude you are about to get scammed, I can test it in a VM if you. . .

Client: I opened it already, it's working

Me: 😮 r u sure?

Client: yes, can you install VM for further testing?

Me: sure, in your computer?

Client: yes

Me: just download the windows image and text me when it's done

Client: My disc is full! Only 3 gb left

Me: 😑 call me when you clean it

Client: [ offline ]

So, sometime ago, Elon musk proposed a website that ranks news sources.

How about a website where we rate recruiters and black list those inhuman ones like the guy who sent an email saying you're legally not allowed to work for anyone else and 750 month pay for 40 hours a week.

A public spam filter, like ads or spam emails, but from disrespectful recruiters

That way recruiters feel more scared and improve their behaviors against programmers from all levels and everyone can have better experience during job search.

(I mean I'm sure these recruiters got some blacklist of their own, right?)

I'm freelancing and there was a guy who needed help with JavaFX. He gave me code only to his view class so I don't steal the rest... It was around 5k lines and it was full of compilation errors because of missing classes. While checking the code I realised something is really wrong with his model classes. So I asked maybe he could send me this one model class that was suspicious. So he did and it was around 10k lines long and had around 200 fields... ALL OF THEM FUCKING STRINGS except 3. You know what the rest of 3 were? 2 Lists of strings and a boolean... It was his "main" model class, he was using it for everything. It had setters for all fields and empty default constructor, so he would just instantiate the object and would set the fields that he wanted to use. Need new functionality? Just add 5more String fields and set them!

Scammer calls claiming to be windows security expert.

Them: "sir, your windows computer is sending error code. Please turn it on so I cam Fix it. "

Me: "windows? I have a mac."

Them: "um.... " *hangs up*

Me: gotcha

Just got a call from an Indian scammer. He did the whole press Win + R shabang and I did what he said but the run box didn't appear (maybe cause I'm on a mac) I tried a few more times and then had a moment of enlightenment, I have a mac so that must be why the shortcut isn't working. He then goes on a rant saying everything is fine because he is the best technician and he can fix my mac too. He threatens to hack me and get my name and hack my computer but then goes straight back to his script and asks me to open my browser. I'm asked to go to a website which he mumbles so I don't understand and ask him to spell it for me. This of course is unacceptable and he goes no just type whatever you feel like typing, immediately changing his mind to xvideos.com instead. I say I can't visit the site since I am at work and he goes straight into trying to recruit me. Promises of infinite money and all I could ever wish for. Then he says I should work for him and he would pay me to watch porn which I politely decline. The final interaction was me letting him know I need to get back to work and to tell his call center buddies to never call me. He got super mad at me for accusing him of working at a call center whilst you can hear other calls in the background. 10/10 interaction.

Just received an email from Apple ID noreplyappleidaccountlocked.case4125@trustedsender.company that said my apple ID is locked. I must send my personal details to unlock them.

I wonder how many people got caught by it :(

This is some state of the art scam

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤦‍♂️🤬🤦‍♂️🤬🤦‍♂️

Was watching Linux videos on YT (got bored) when a 🤬 Udemy (you know what, I’m blocking them right now) ad popped up and it was on how to learn... LINUX!!! This is a total scam!!!! 🤬🤬

So... Some fake accounts on Twitter claimed to be Elon Musk and to give shitloads of Bitcoin to those who sent a little amount first. They stole... Wait for it... 180 grand.

That's basically your everyday 419 scam. Existing since before the internet, done with the names of Gates, Buffet, Bush, Obama...

They say "the big bad evil criminals and the poor little innocent victims" I say natural selection. Sorry, in those lion vs gazelle scenarios I always thought that it was fair, no matter how it went.

Just when did humanity get so brainless? Have we always been, is the internet just a catalyst for stupidity?

Just why the fuck must I be an infosec sheepdog instead of a wolf? Man, I could live the life, drink beer and smoke herb while working... Get up at 12, don't give a shit, no boss, no taxes, no social security payments that I don't see jack shit from, and the pay would be better to.

Damn.

long && scam && rant?

At my parent's: phone rings..
Me: hi this is XYZ (in German)
He: hi this is ABC from Microsoft tecnical suport (strong Indian accent, sorry toall Indian devs who might feel offended, no intention)
Me: hi... (I'm learning for my exams and don't have a VM with Windows installed currently, so no time to "play")
He: we got some worrying data from your Windows computer. You might have a virus and we need to run a few tests to verfy it. Do you know what that is?
Me: yeah, a scam.
He: sorry, sir I didn't understand you, could you repeat?
Me: yeah, I know what " this" is. It's a scam, and we only deploy Linux here. (lie, we have Windows, Mac and Linux, as well as an iPhone, iPad and Android devices in the house, guess who is "support"...) But good luck with your next call.
He: (kind of friendly) oh. I see. Well have a nice day too.

In an alternate universe 😂

Requirements for developing iOS apps:
$99/year, Swift, OSX, Mac, Xcode, and patience waiting for app store approval. Are there even iOS devs out there or it's just a scam?

Overheating The Javascript Ecosystem

Paranoid thought: You know, in the course of every day, being the corrupt piece of shit that I am, whenever I see a scandal or what looks like shenanigans-in-the-making, I ask myself

"Wisecrack, is this a fucking scam or con of some sort?"

I was recently asking myself this about javascript.

Not the language per se, but the ecosystem.

I noticed how there are a thousand CLIs for simple shit. Another four thousand for page long libraries, for simpleton level shit (because prototypes are designed after satans own aborted love-child of object models). I noticed another eight thousand guys imitating steve jobs, talking at conferences and 'change the world' high-on-huffing-my-own-shit TEDX talks like rubyists that don't realize the world has moved on, all to hawk books and inflate CVs for cushy positions at major tech firms and the herd of dicksuckers following the next fad off a cliff like lemmings. And another eight thousand 'tech journalists' pushing them off the cliff while begging for outrage and hype dollars and slowly circling like vultures above the drain that is the ad-based economy.

And I thought to myself.

"Wisecrack, who benefits from all this noisy self-indulgent horseshit? Where is all the money coming from for all these books, conferences, meetings, publications, media, bread, and circuses?"

"I don't know wisecrack. But if I were the CEO of a big company, threatened by the prospect of a universal language, or universal platform, like flash, but one I couldn't kill like flash, I would try to do the most corrupt thing I could think of."

"Whats that wisecrack?"

"I would try to 'overheat' the ecosystem by selectively hiring people from that ecosystem, pumping money into a boatload of similar products, all in the hopes of provoking the equivalent of an immune overreaction, imitators all flooding the ecosystem with the same shit in different packages, self promoting sycophants, aggrenadizing social media idiots, tools sold as tools, hyped as 'the next coming of steve jobs', overcooked shit that focuses on ceremony over functionality, ritual over productivity, documentation over innovation like some sort of amazonion infinite nesting doll hellscape of documents linking to documents linking to documents, each one a new circle of dantes inferno, where the definition of anything links to another document that says "see also xyz", and I would convince them that they had done it to themselves."

And then I would push typescript as their lord, savior, and master. "

"How do you know all this wisecrack?"

"Because I am a piece of shit, and, this is what I would do in any executive's shoes."

Anyone ever wondered what would happen if you tried to put more than 26 (numbers in alphabet) drives into windows?

Emails from windows@microsoft.com show up as a phishing scam in Outlook. Huh.

About 2 years ago, our management decided to "try outsourcing". I was in charge for coordinating dev tasks and ensuring code quality. So management came up with 3 potential candidates in India and I had to assess them based on Skype calls and little test tasks. Their CVs looked great and have been full of "I'm a fancy experienced senior developer." ....After first 2 calls I already dismissed two candidates because they had obviously zero experience and the CV must have been fake. ..After talking to the third candidate, I again got sceptical. The management, however, started to think that I'm just an ass trying to protect my own position against outside devs. They forced me to give him a chance by testing him with a small dev task. The task included the following statement

"Search on the filesystem recursively, for folders named 'container'. For example '/some_root_folder/path_segments/container' " The term 'container' was additionally highlighted in red!

We also gave him access to a git repo to do at least daily push. My intention was to look at his progressions, not only the result.
I tried the task on my own and it took me two days, just to have a baseline for comparison. I, however, told him to take as much time as he needs. (We wanted to be fair and also payed him.)

..... 3 weeks went by. 3 weeks full of excuses why he isn't able to use git. All my attempts to help him, just made clear that he has never seen or heard of git before. ...... He sent me his code once a week as zip per email -.- ..... I ignored those mails because I made already my decision not wanting to waste my time. I mean come on?! Is this a joke? But since management wanted me to give him a chance .... I kept waiting for his "final" code version.

In week 5, he finally told me that it's finished and all requirements have been met. So I tried to run his code without looking at it ..... and suprise ... It immediately crashed.

Then I started to look through the code .... and I was ..... mind-blown. But not in a good way. .....

The following is what I remember most:

Do you remember the requirement from above? .... His code implementing it looked something like this:

Go through all folders in root path and return folders where folderName == "/some_root_folder/path_segments/container".

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Alone this little peace of code was on sooooooo many levels wrong!!!!! Let me name a few.

- It's just sooooo wrong :(
- He literally compared the folderName with the string "/some_root_folder/path_segments/container"...... Wtf?!?
- He did not understand the requirement at all.
- He implemented something without thinking a microsecond about it.
- No recursive traversal
- It was Java. And he used == instead of equals().
- He compares a folderName with a whole path?!? Wtf.
- How the hell did he made this code return actual results on his computer?!?

Ok ...now it was time to confront management with my findings and give feedback to the developer. ..... They believed me but asked me to keep it civilized and give him constructive feedback. ...... So I skyped him and told him that this code doesn't meet the requirements. ......... He instantly defended himself . He told me that I he did 'exactly what was written in the requirements document" and that there is nothing wrong. .......He had no understanding at all that the code also needs to have an actual business purpose.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

After that he tried to sell us a few more weeks of development work to implement our "new changed requirements" ......

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Footnote: I know a lot of great Indian Devs. ..... But this is definitely not one of them. -.-

tl;dr
Management wants to outsource to India and gets scammed.

No grandpa, I don't scam people online. I am a web developer - I earn my living online, building web apps, plugins, etc. (and stuff that you won't really grasp). And again, stop telling people that I'm lazy - I don't watch movies on my computer from 8AM-5PM. Lovely grandma, please don't believe him.

I got fucking scammed.
Too bad that I just realized it.
As most of you know, I am in Cappadocia atm. We had a balloon flight. Yada yada yada.
Then I took a green tour that was provided from an travel agency that was a Partner of the hotel I am in.
[Skip]
The guide brought us to a stone seller. At the jewellry store, we were told that they have a special kind of gem. It gets mined in Mugla(Turkey).
Thus we thought that the stones they sell are mined natural gems called Zultanit.
Oh boy were we fucking wrong.
The zultanit gems are able to change their color depending on the light it receives. We were all fascinated at the demonstration. They told us that it is the second Turkish gem. First comes Turquoise.
I bough a zultanit bracelet for myself. And a zultanit ring for my mum.
It took me about 635 Lira which is about 95 Euro.

I was like damn. They are so damn valuable. It maked sense to me, because it was changing its colors at differentt areas.

Now guess what...
I went onto the internet and checked reviews about that shop. They were mostly saying that these are not real, but lab created gems. I was deeply shocked.
I checked the "certificate" that I got from them. It matched. My gems are lab created and not mined as they told to us tourists ffs.

I am crying internally.
How could I be that dumb to believe that?

Guys, never buy anything they tell you. Check everything to its detail.

The "zultanite" is a real gem. They even have their own trademark, but we were sold a "zultanit (lbrt)".
They did not show the certificate before buying it.

I got my job because I've been myself. As soon as I laughed with the interviewers I knew I got it.

They choose you for a interview out of all the other CVs because they hope you know your stuff. Proof it! And most important - show your character. Don't be a blank paper! Make fun with them. Or at least leave some kind of positiv impression.

The funny part:
I applied for jobs in Austria while doing my Bachelor degree in the UK. Over Skype they had no idea I was wearing sweatpants.

What are you?

Send me one Bitcoin, and I‘ll tell you how to get rich!

Haha 😃

Somehow this got into my inbox by some clever scammers. It's pretty brutal

I can imagine a lot of guys panicking and paying anything they ask based off this

"Never touch a running system". I can't believe how many times I've seen this advice here. How the fuck are you supposes to upgrade, improve stuff? This is why stuff like WannaCry happens.

So, got yet another one of those, "Ha! Sending this from your own e-mail address is proof I've infected your machine and recorded video of you synced to your browsing history! Send me bitcoin!" e-mails today. Just with a fun twist:

He claims to have infected my computer on November 8th, 2018 (for later readers: 4 days after the e-mail was sent).

Was about to give them points on creativity the other day; got a Japanese translation of it that was actually pretty spot-on all things considered, and then a Korean copy of it again the next day (just in case I couldn't read English or Japanese, I guess?).

But seriously, you're trying to pull this kind of scam, and can't even tell your bot to successfully pick a date *in the past*?

Apparently some fucking moron bot has started sending spam messages to random people using my email address in the 'from' field.

From: my@address.fuck
Subject: I want to feel the passion with you.

I know because I just received a Delivery Status Notification containing the full spam email.

Fuck you spammers and scammers. Wish you a horrible and slow death in a mincer.

You know GDPR compliance is going to create a whole new form of scam where scammers impersonate users and send data requests to companies to get people's info.

Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"

Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"

Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"

...

Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?

Just finished dinner and the phone goes:"hello I am phoning from Microsoft support" *cracks knuckles* let the games begin

I just received this gem this morning.
First of let me start by saying that I am against scammers and all this Nigerian prince crap.
But some of this shit is so bad that it actually pisses me off. My intelligence feels insulted.

Look at this email. These fuckers spent hours perfecting the Hotmail feel to it. The logo, design and even font are in par. As I started reading the shit, the spelling mistakes are so obvious that I wondered; do these nut suckers know that whatever email editor they use, it autocorrects for you? Are they just ignoring the recommendations? I mean they could've even used the "Did you mean" feature in Google. Or any of the freely available grammatical check sites out there.

Think of this as plagiarism. It's bad but a majority of us can appreciate a well planned out one.

I'm yet to encounter a really good scam email that almost had me click their link. There's always an obvious stand out! Is there like a copyright holder to a perfectly well put scam email?!

(And yes, you just read a rant about someone complaining that scammers aren't doing a great job)

Add captchas to everything so the AI always needs to ask for help.

Seems legit

I have absolutely nothing wrong with the desire to make money. In fact, I'm willing to bet it's inspired some revolutionary technology to be made.

But for fuck sake YouTube, im not some 20ish year old Instagram personality with 15k followers that posts pictures in front of expensive cars at the car dealership or at some hotel you're just touring with the word "entrepreneur" in my bio.

I don't give a flying fuck about trying to make "easy" money. Stop showing ads of those cancerous "I'mma show you how to make easy money. I just need 2 hours of your time and you can make easy money without investing a dime" bullshit ads. It's a fucking scam and everyone knows this shit doesn't work.

My friend tried this shit and surprise surprise: it didn't fucking work.

Oh my God...
A colleague of mine got an email. The email was badly translated into our language (probably Google translate was used) it said 'please open invoice attached'.
The anti-virus software successfully marked it as a virus, and did not allow my colleague to open attached 'invoice.exe' file.
Now by this point you would think that the person would just delete the email, but no. The colleague looked at me, and with the bitchiest voice said 'I got an invoice and can't open it after your anti-virus installation. Fix it!'
Needless to say, I had to explain, what a virus is and teach all the colleagues not to get hooked on scam mail... Took about 4 hours to explain this seemingly simple concept.
Fuck knows, how they did not nuke their IT infrastructure before I came here :/

SELECT * FROM people WHERE job = 'programmer' AND relationship = 'true' AND age < 30;
Error: 0 results found

> Scammer calls me.
> I answer and robot puts me in queue.
> PlEaSe WaIt, yOuR CaLl Is vERy iMpOrtAnt To uS!
> 6 minutes later it literally says “Goodbye!” And Hangs up.
> ???

Some brand new scam from "CIA" I received today. Upon searching, I found an article written about it just an hour ago. I think it's time for me to be a little less lazy.

Edit: This is an email accusing whoever the fuck receives it of pedophilia and searching for child porn. Given my image here, I thought it was funny.

Algo magic.

😂😂😂😂 FB remined me it's been 5 yrs since some scammers tried to mess with me.. I just love the perfect english they used.. 😂😂😂😂😇

Recently I got an E-Mail from PayPal.de with the headline "Your account gets limited". Fun Fact: I don't have a PayPal account.
This Mail got me curious though, as it couldn't be a phishing mail, since I don't have a PayPal account in the first place, so I opened the e-mail just to get greeted by pure emptiness. It was completely empty. I thought to myself "oh no, is this some sort of new trick? Did I get infected by some sort of a weird hacky backdoor trojan already?!"

Name: PayPal.de
Original E-mail Address: NULL (never seen this before)
I then realized, that Thunderbird blocked the only content from this mail: a clickable image.

This is getting even more confusing the longer I examine this unique mail. The image is showing me a domain from a site completely unrelated from PayPal, so it was obviously no phishing, but I didn't trust this clickable image, so I looked up its hidden link to find an even more confusing redirection to not a picture upload site like the image suggests, but to a game key reselling site instead, like wtf? What was the whole point of this whole e-mail? Was this a weird try to make advertisements for more than one website? It wasn't even a ref-link or something like that. It was just weird, iunno.

Fuck!
I was on this online site yesterday and I saw they had rules such as no swearing, posting links, etc. I decided to post links and it worked to my surprise. I see the admin tells me off but I ask why they don't just add a system to stop it.

He/She says "Systems controlled by humans are more accurate than machine" 😕

Does anyone else type slow for a dev and it makes them fell SOO guilty inside, you've tried to learn touch typing but stopped after a few days and get very depressed about how it may effect your future job. You attempt to count the relentless hours you've sat at your computer but still, you type like a snail. Suicide is becoming an option and you think to yourself is it the keyboard? You purchase a brand new keyboard but your still sluggish. Well, step into my shoes. 😢

!wk71
When someone fucks with your code an hour before the presentation 😡

Hello Spotify. I would like to issue you a sincere FUCK YOU! Why, you ask? Well, your app is a piece of shit - still - and it just got worse.

The app has been terrible for months now. Ads seemingly come up every 5 minutes, including your 'click here for 30 minutes free' which I now think is a complete fucking scam. After you watch* an ad, why is there another 10 fucking seconds that confirms that I just watched an ad, and tells me to click for more info? If I wanted to buy their shit, I would have clicked the AD.

Now watching* the ad is another thing. Half the time it gets to the ad screen, skips over the ad, and continues on. Don't get me wrong, I like this bug (feature!), but how the heck are you still being supported by companies if the ads are never displayed properly? Much of the time, a picture is never displayed, only a black screen with audio still playing, and that isn't user error as it works when I continue to music. Wow.

I have had playing an ad freeze at ~9 seconds in, and just lock up the app so bad I need to restart, after which another ad is played. WTF.

That all sucks, but this is the worst. For some reason, today, they took away my ability to choose songs to play in my song list, and to skip (!) to the next one, or play the previous. Are you serious? What- why- what were you thinking?! Now that's a premium feature too? What's next, music stops playing after 10 minutes because anything longer is premium too? Oh wait, sorry everyone, that'll be in the next update now.

Spotify, your app has more issues than my server does, and it's got 6+ locked up ssh connections and a shitload of frozen commands. Seriously. It's been having so many issues lately, I'm unsure how you're still in business. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea, and the app when it works (or breaks in the way I want it to), but this is too far. A dev without music is a bored typist. Fix your shit please. And give us more in the free version, because I'm not paying you $120 per year, even if you beg me every 10 minutes and try to throw in fucking sprinkles with it too. Holy shit.

When I left school I decided to apply for a junior dev role. I received a call back later that day and they tried to sell me access to some course with the promise of a job afterwords. They gave me a website to visit to find more information.

I Googled the company and found that it was as I suspected a scam and that they had been praying on the jobless for sometime.

So, I played around on the site they told me to visit for a while and found a rather simple SQLI. I managed to pull the admin email/password (which they stored as plain text) the email address belonged to a Gmail account.

I tried the password for the Gmail account turns out the account belongs to the person running the scam. I find an email from the hosting account and you guessed it the password was the same.

I pulled the site down and replaced it with a picture of the person running the scam along with his name and the words "I'm a dirty scammer".

Then I sent all the info to the police (he'd been running a few others scams too) not sure what that lead to I didn't hear anything back.

Thank you for calling Windows technical support, how may I help you?

This one actually looks pretty real (barring the fact that I don't have an account with Navy Federal Credit Union, nor have I or any relation of mine ever been in the Navy.)

Upon closer inspection, it appears that in addition to a couple bits of missing punctuation and a complete lack of identifying information the reckless little scamps forgot the most important part of the whole thing! None of this message is a hyperlink. They forgot to include the fraudulent link to the form they are hoping to get their "victims" to fill out.

Employer asked, whether I could tweak the site's admin template that was made in 2005.
It uses tables to generate new webpages.
It uses php.
UI is a nonsense spaggethi crap.
Whole thing is shit.

Well, for good money I will just write everything from scratch. Took me ~10 hours and I already have the functionality that was in the original crap. Crazy how these 'devs' scam people!

When you want to fix an issue on Github but you see the comments listed below...

why not 😅

What a fucking scam. Unacceptable.

If you do this as a developer I will personally come over and make you eat all your money you earned with this scam cent by cent until you exploed and die.

Fuck you.

My dad got this scammy E-Mail today...
The strange thing was, the sender and recipient were the same address, but I'll get back to that.
Unfortunately, I can't show it to you, but it said something like this:
"As you can see, I wrote this E-Mail from *YOUR* address. I have hacked your Account. Please pay me 300$ in bitcoin to this address: (address here) ..."
You get the point.
Now... my dad was pretty worried about the Account actually beeing hacked. One of his coworkers also got the same E-Mail. I told him that it's easy to fake the 'From' Header of an E-Mail, at least with the mail command on Linux. So I ssh'd into one of my Servers and sent him an E-Mail from lol@lol.de. Obviously, he didn't expect it to be that easy. Now he believes me that this is a scam and will tell his coworkers tomorrow.

From what I read in that E-Mail there was no part about recipient specific stuff, so I guess someone just wrote one text and made a simple bash Script for that... as you can see, people really do fall for this shit.

Now one question: is there a way to track down the Servers the E-Mail went through? Or is there anything one can do, apart from ignoring it?

I think I just hit my lowest point.

Spent ALL of last week trying to get my WAMP server to call a PHP script via AJAX and I kept getting 404s. Spent at least 10 hours on stack overflow trying to figure out why the server wasn't accessing it only to find out today that I was both looking at the wrong directory and also working the file name wrong.

I think I just need to walk away from programming for a while... 😧

When scammers want to follow GDPR regulations - the worst SCAM ever 🤦‍♂️

Long story:
I have just received a SMS message, informing me that my phone number is in several marketing databases. It also had a link to the website called stop-sms.pl, where you're supposed to be able to unsubscribe from those lists. At this moment I felt a little bit confused - the SMS seemed suspicious, but on the other hand who doesn't want to get rid of all this SMS crap. So I carefully followed the link to see the website with a form to fill with personal data - phone number included 😆 If that is not enough to realize that this is just a lame scam website, just below the input where you enter the phone number there are Terms and Conditions where it directly states that: "By filling the form you agree that your personal data (name, email, phone number) will be used for marketing purposes." - WTF?!

Who the f... gets fooled by such crap?! 😂😂😂

So for context, I'm doing an Apprenticeship in IT and naturally I've been put on help desk.

I've recently been given a phone on my desk since I'm trusted enough and know enough about our software that there's no risk to me accepting calls.

I get the standard ones, a number from a different country, poorly pronouncing a co-workers name, asking if they can speak to them. I give my normal response, "I'll just check if they're in a meeting and I'll get back to you" (which they somehow always are) and ask if they would like to leave a message. They obviously don't since they're usually scams.

Since Tuesday I've started getting calls from "BT Technical Support". I don't use BT. My company doesn't use BT. So, it's clearly a scam.

Yesterday, the same guy calls me up, Thomas he says his name is. I go along with it for a while, agreeing that I've noticed our network has been slow until the point where he asks me to begin to install TeamViewer. I realise what he's going to do so I ask him what the problem with our network is.

I hear him start to respond but he stops. He's got no clue what to say, so I say to him, "Thomas mate. I think our biggest problem with our BT network is that we don't have BT."

He puts the phone down.

So I ask you for help, lovely people of devRant.

I have a Windows 10 VM ready to go. I have a couple notepad files labelled as "Passwords" and "Bank Details". What else can I throw on there to make this guy think he's hit the jackpot without really causing too much damage?

Any ideas would be appreciated. <3

Tldr: hilariois scam website is hilarious

Today I saw a website that was obviously a scam, but it was quite hilarious: it said you could download an ebook and they tried to trick the user into clicking the fake download links. It was a textbook for engineering and at the botom of the page they had those fake user comments that encouraged people to du those things you are asked for after clicking the wrong download button (like entering your bank info). They described how their friends couldn't believe what an awesome book they got for free and so on and that they really loved reading it. Reading an engineering textbook. Also, and that made me lol quite hard: they discribed the condition of the book as "used with a few water marks". A fucking pdf with water marks...

Oh come on..
"I'll show you how you COULD do it and make money on that and then pretending I did it with my app business."

Well, I helped a client get their website back from being redirected to a microsoft scam website. Even though the restoring process was a nightmare, it feels good to get things working like it was suppose to :)

FIRST RANT: When someone tries to scam a CS major...

Ok, so today I received a msg from a super hot guy on Grindr (that's right, I went there >_<). We chatted for a bit, traded some photos, his full frontal matched his profile pic so I was impressed. Then suddendly he asked me if I could "check out his fanpage" through a link that he will send to me..

"Mmmmmmmm that sounds like a scam bruh."

The mofo didn't give up and even had the nerve to try and assure me that "scammers will ask for money upfront and they're usually from another country (WTF??)"

"DUDE, I'm a Computer Science student! Not particularly fond of links!"

And then he blocked me. HAHAHA #DODGEDIT

My friend told me if I get a gaming chair that my code will improve by 49%. Is this true??

Freelancer.com

First impressions: it's a festering pile of scum and it tries to trick innocent, honest folk into spending money on bullshit.

I just got a phone call from "Microsoft" because there are Trojans on my pc. The broken English (and the content of the call) told me that it was scam, but I wanted to have my fun, so I continued the call.

After I told them that I am on my Computer, I was forwarded to an "expert", and now the funny part starts 😁

Scammer: you have your keyboard in front of you??
Me: yes
S: you see the strg, control ctrl button on the bottom left
M: yes *rly?*
S: what button. Is next to it?
M: fn
S: ...
M: ... *XD*
S: and next to it?
M: that's the windows button
S: ok, press that button along with 'r'
M: ok
S: what do you see?
M: *telling him what I see on my GERMAN pc*
S: ok, type 'eventvwr' *spelling it like hell*
I did so. Just while this spelling I could have hit my head on the desk... It was hilarious

He navigates me to the error and warnings and tells me that those are Trojans 😂 and that this is the reason some programs (especially my antivirus software) aren't running properly.

Well I told him that those aren't Trojans and that all my programs are running properly. I don't know if that was the reason, he stopped the call, but I wasn't able to connect to their 'headserver'.

In the end I am sad that I wasn't able to f*ck him up more. Maybe I would have been able to get some more information about their company to kick their *****.

Next time I will be (more) prepared

So one of my clients got their wordpress site hacked and basically just redirects to scam links and well.. I looked at in the server file manager and their are like three directories with this wordpress site (not clones but the same?) one in the root, a version in a folder called old and another in temp.. with 3 separate wp databases.. DNS entries had malware redirects, the wp-content folder was writable to the public and contained a temp folder with tons of encoded malware and ip links to malicious sites.. there was encoded malware in index.php, has like 20+ plugins, oh and the theme uses a dynamic web builder so the code is basically unreadable in source and scattered.. and the redirects seem to happen randomly or at least on a new session or something. Oh.. and did I mention there are no backups? 😃

I received this message this morning. Please house What do I reply these newbie scammer? Am laughing here.

Anyone else bombard by those treehouse ads? Fuck them, right? Takes us real devs years to become full stack engineers, not "six weeks"!!! Fucking scam.

Today I got called by a someone saying something about my internet but I couldn't actually hear him against the background noise...

I think he mentioned something about having downloaded my internet onto their servers...?

Contracting:

Con - It can be hella stressful and last minute, especially when contracts and agencies are a real pain.

Con - finding out you’re probably gonna need to go to site at like 11PM the day before, and train tickets are a fucking scam

Pro - Sitting in first class with a complimentary croissant and orange juice isn’t so bad.

Pro - Being able to finally travel to an Apple Store to get that MacBook you’ve been eying for a while because now you actually have to travel. 👀

Why do companies buy an SSL certificate if their given away for FREE?

When you try fix someone elses computer problem for over an hour then they say "gimme a go", rebooting the system and the problem goes away like houdini...
bruh 😒

G’day dev rant community, Im bloody annoyed, so what happened was i finished college about 1pm had a mad feed at grilled happy as fred, walking the streets of sydney past UTS - and thennnn “OMG HELLO CAN U STOP AND TALK TO ME?” And me silly enough give her 5 minutes of my precious time, mind you she is bloody yelling as she is talking ##%%#ing land whale!! “Can you please donate $5 a week to this charity - mind you its a ####ing scam- then another dude comes out of no where saying “oh has she been nice to you?” - me “ oh absolutely “ and in my mind im saying “no #%#%ing way does this blabbering whale normally speak like this”...

Then it only gets on my nerves “oh are you poor are you?? I know it must be extremely stressful and expensive living in sydney” he says , man who tf are these annoying pricks annoying people heading into and out of work?? How dare you say im poor you dont know me?!

Anyways ladies and gentlemen I sincerely hope you all have a great day or night wherever you may be!

Kind regards
Milo

I just got the best phone call ever 😂
Has anyone gotten these?

So like a year ago an Microsoft Scammer called me while i was middle in my exams week, so i took half an hour break to talk etc. So i started my VM and let him on it. He started showing me things that aren’t “safe” etc. But i needed to go. So i said: “Call me again tomorrow same time” Well the next day he called. But i really did not have the times for all of this because of my exams so i cut it into a short conversation like this: “Well sir, You made me so afraid yesterday with how many viruses i had, that today i went to the apple store and bought an MacBook and i’ve thrown the other laptop away.” Then he was quiet for like 25 seconds and was started with: “Sir your MacBook has serious problems let me help you!” Then i called him out for being a scammer and he hang up. Just wanted to share 1 of the few stories i have had with such “microsoft” scammers.

Yay, installed the resurrection remix custom ROM.

My friend asked me today "So why can't MySQL connect to client side JavaScript?"

Scam call story

Scambot: This is Costco balh blah blah....(I don't even have a Costco where I live). To be put on the 'no call' list please press 2.

Me: 2.

Scambot: Hang up.

A few hours later....

Scambot: this is Costco blah blah blah.... To accept your reward please press 0.

Me: 0.

(Long wait)

Scam person ( In a Indian accent so thick I can't accurately type it out without it sounding racist) : This is (gibberish). Are you between the ages of 18 and 80?

Me: I'm 85.

Scam person: (gibberish) Are you between the ages of 18 and 80?

Me: I'm 85.

Scam person: hangs up.

Here I am just tryna browse a site and this stupid attempt to trick me into falling for a scam pops up. There is no way to stop the pop up because I can’t tap anything fast enough. Not even restarting the browser because it remembers this as the last URL it had accessed. Looks like I have to uninstall and reinstall chrome. Honestly, if you’re a scammer, what the hell is the point of doing this? What idiot is going to call the number? All it does is annoy you to the point of suspicion. Or maybe there are people stupid enough!?

Universitys need to change how they handle experienced developers trying to get a degree.

To be honest, I'm 16 in Highschool and would class myself as a junior dev. I have been talking to the "Careers Councilor" and she claims I will have to pay the full amount for a cs degree although I probably won't attend 99% of the lectures in the first year.

I understand it would be incredibly hard to work out how a experienced person should pay in comparison to a newbie. Could it be based on the lectures you attend but then again it would make a degree less valuable.

In my country (New Zealand) the first year of University is free but will this be waisted?

I know I want to branch off into networking and maybe hardware so could I do that while the class learns Scratch, HTML, CSS and actually how to code?

I would love your opinions and if anyone knows some other options that would be great, thanks!

HacktoberFest is a scam where people just come to get a tshirt and thus decreasing the importance of open source 😐😶

I was using the app Jobr to apply for random positions. It’s like tinder — only you swipe to send your resume.

A week or so later I got an email from a company locally that wanted to set up an interview. I honestly thought it was a scam! I didn’t even remember applying for the job.

Long story short, they’re mostly desktop developers, and I’m the first front end web guy. I was initially hired to help with UI stuff but on the last project I was developing Service Workers. So I guess I just get invested and give my fullest.

Now myself and one of the other programmers are working on the 3rd gen of our software, built with Vue.js and rest APIs.

Finally! I'll be able to send dick pics with depth! Thank you iPhone X!

Ok, so I have turned off all shit of Windows Update, and somehow, Windows is updating all apps, and even trying to update itself.

WHY???????????????????

Upgrading. We like to upgrade our stuff, whether it's software, operating systems or hardware. When it works its great but when it dosen't...

All my BAD experiences have been with upgrading.

One day I was using Jumla (a CMS) that controlled a big online clothing store. Noticing that Jumla was 0.01 versions behind I decided to 'upgrade'. This caused the entire site to break, maxed out the space on the server and eventually lost my job and that day the company supposably lost $10,000.

Today's f#ck up made me write this rant. Me and a friend own a local development company and we have a small Digital Ocean server for client website previews (before they get there own hosting). We have a few projects going at the moment and yesterday we sent a few links to clients so they could see there new website. This morning I woke up, read a few emails and ssh'd onto the server to read logs and what not. I got a bit side tracked, reading about the benefits of Ubuntu 17. You can already see where this is going... I innocently Google: "How to upgrade to Ubuntu 17". Surprisingly after running the commands and downloading the updates it was worked well. Everything was working. Then I restarted. I waited about 15 seconds and tried logging in again. Timeout after timeout. Something was wrong. I checked the console via the online Dashboard and see a page full of Kernal errors. I contacted the hosting people and they were able to help by referring to some guides but after 5 hours of cranking through errors and not winning I give up.

*Email from client*
Hello again,
The website you sent via link isn't working, can you fix this as I would like to show our CEO,
Thanks, Mike.

I destroy the droplet (server), making a new one. I have to setup and secure the server. Generating new SSH keys, new user accounts as well as installing AND configure Apache, PHP and MYSQL. I then had to upload 5gb of backups via SSH (not fast), go through each clients backup, including web files and databases and distributing where it needs to go.
Discovering that one of the DB's name changed last week and therefore our backup script failed to save it, we were forced to rewrite 10 pages of website content.

From 10 yesterday morning to 2 this morning, a total of 14 hours (I think) sitting in front of my computer trying to fix a problem that would have never occured if I didn't "upgrade"

When you have to deliver for a client but you find PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS. 😦

Arch, bleeding edge, something something.

Fucking telecom and their shady ways of providing "service". Don't even need to consider paying for porn sites when my isp comes along with its own, overpriced service to fuck a customer in every way possible.

Probably other providers as well, but for now I'm fucking pissed at them because they already scammed my grandmother twice, when it comes to internet speed, probably because they thought she wouldn't notice either way.

My grandmother's residence can receive up too 200mbps, so she got a plan according to that. Installation of the router was included as a one time fee.

This is where they first scammed her, imo. They installed a router, that can route 100mbps at max. At first I though she got a plan for that speed.
An elder telecom technician, who was investing a completely irrelevant issue, switched it out for one than can handle uo to 1tbps. He had no obligation to do so and he didn't charge anything.
Seriously, probs to that one guy. He openly stated that telecoms pulls off this scam and switched it for free, since they have many of routers lying around anyways (I wonder why 🤔🤔🤔)

Anyways, guy switched out the router and BAMM! from ~80mbps to ~170, iirc.

Fast forward a couple of months I notice internet speed is capped out at 76mpbs. Capped out way to perfectly, to just blame the cable. But obviously the guys over at customer support do exactly that.

Calls telecom: "yeah, your contact only goes up to 100, 76 because of the cable. You need to pay extra to get up to 176".

Excuse me, what the fuck did you just say, shit nugget? We should pay extra for something you contest from us?

Yo, Mister ChromosomOverflow, don't think that relaying the responsibility to another number to call will put you out of the fucking shit you tried to pull off.

Edit: The contract states up to 1000, 200 or 100mpbs download depending on what the cables allow and in case of 200 there's 100mbps upload, but we also get capped out there at 20. I wish these fucker one gang rape per non-received mpbs

If only NodeJS was as fast as GoLang 🤔

Everyone is aware the Facebook fucks up privacy via Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp combined.

The fact is not new to us and with Cambridge Analytica scam coming to light, the #DeleteFacebook movement started and many actually took action to delete the Facebook account.

But people are still being tracked and their data is used via Instagram and WhatsApp.

Why isn't there an#DeleteInstagram and #DeleteWhatsApp movement yet?

Finally somebody scamming me!

When you spend all the time writing a valid Stack Overflow post and then someone down votes it 😭

In 3 years, my antivirus software NEVER made a sound. But I'm pretty sure I visited some nasty websites this whole time and download many viruses.

Does it mean my antivirus never worked?

Thanks @dfox and @trogus for awesome social media platform and stickers!

"What's the difference between Java and JavaScript" 😒

LPT: If you want to scam someone at least use HTTPS so people can believe it more

Boss at the start of a new project: "We could hire an intern to gatter some data in an excel list... You can easily implement that in the application later - right? So can you get us a excel list to fill out? "

No... Just no...

You tell me what you wanna see and how you wanna interact with the application!

In the process we will figure out which data is necessary, I will build some tables in the database for that data and then, !!! not a second sooner !!! , I'll be able to give you an suitable excel list, which includes a complete list of columns for the necessary data in a form I can work with it.

It's not my job to know what data a application needs to make YOUR JOB easier! I'm not a magician! I just love programming stuff!

Not falling for a cute girl... and pop-ups

Fuck Tik Tok or whatever shit that thing is

That shitty commercials are all over google ads. Ok, I have seen that girl enough changing scenes, so please fuck off.

So I use opera and I just got a PopUp (probably a scam) And The first line was "Dear Chrome User"

My biggest regret was leaving school for the workforce. I had aspirations of climbing the corporate ladder and maybe even being a leader or CEO someday myself.

It unfortunately took me too many years to realize it’s all a complete scam. You end up wasting away working on the most soul crushing of stuff, all to support someone else’s dream, and the people on top are not those who deserve to be there, but those who schemed and manipulated their way to the top. They often have zero idea what they’re doing and you end up having to do their job for them, while they take the credit and the big bonuses.

I had (and still have) many brilliant ideas for creations, but not one of my employers has cared about anything other than their bottom line. You are nothing but livestock to them, and they will treat you as such.

I wish now I’d just stayed in school and worked on my ideas and theories in an academic environment. If you think for a second companies will give a shit about you, think again.

Masturbation

I've never been in the work place environment of a development company. What happens when there is a bug no one can solve, do you all huddle together and cry?

So a guy made us develop a website, an Android app and an iOS app prototype under contract for a really low amount. We had initially agreed as it would be a learning experience.

3 months later we are still doing bug fixes for end-to-end deployment. For some reason we are responsible for publishing and deploying the whole system. He hasn't paid us anything yet and has given a shitty LOR which has been taken off the net.

I'm kind of triggered by all these social media posters and SEO optimizers and "wordpress developers", it's one of the oldest internet scam "jobs" in my eyes where anyone can do what they are doing, yet somehow they are getting paid absurd amounts of money for who knows what. I'm just triggered by how much these people get away with. And stupid ass "companies" that I see all over first google results whose pricing starts from 5k and they're resumes are stock unmodified fucking wordpress themes that cost 39-59 bucks. WHAT THE FUCK. I just want to make a huge wave about this, this is straigh up scaming people. I couldn't live with myself if I would charge this amounts of money for installing a fucking wordpress theme and uploading a few photos. Are you kidding me. And seo scammers? is writting a 200 word essay with fucking yoast seo optimisation worth a few hundred? IS IT?

"If it ain't broke don't fix it" ~ Savage Programmer

My job. Working in a small IT department. Web programming most of the day and being able to help people with their phones, software, internet connection, and so on...

The only thing I sometimes wished for were some other devs in my company that would understand me and my problems and with whom I could discuss new technologies.

But now I got devrant. I'll be fine from now on.

!dev

Sorry if this is a bad read, pretty new to devRant and writing in general.

I can't help but think and think of how much I fucked up my opportunities to completely change my life/financial status a couple of times. Damn.

A few years back (it was 2009, I think) I was playing Diablo II online, helped some random guy get through the hard levels. Normally, in such situation the lower lvl player allowed the higher level guy to grab the valuable boss loot; however this time the guy except sharing the loot with me asked me if I want his spare 2000 bitcoin. I asked if it's of any value, he said "not really".

I said I'd contact him later, when I figure out how this thing works and how to setup a wallet.

Guess what, I was too lazy and forgot about this thing completely. Then we lost contact.

In 2010, I made a comeback to bitcoin, but instead of buying it, I downloaded the bitcoin client, the blockchain (it was 800 mb in size, I remember) and have been contributing by running it on my PC for like a year.

Finally decided to get it ~3 years ago. Bought 2.5 BTC for 400$.

Was holding it, until I fell for the "free OmniseGO" scam and somebody stole them off me.

All of these can't get out of my head.
I visit coinmarketcap literally every hour to see how much I could have now. My girlfriend, friends, family, all fail to cheer me up. I still made a pretty good deal buying 5.5 ETH for 45$ and thats like 2500$ soon, its nice but this much I can make by coding

Shit, what do I do to stop being stressed except for seeing a psychologist.

May my failure make you smile today

I would replace it completely with industry apprenticeship, along with every other major. Education in the USA has become a scam designed to mine children for debt. If we're shackling kids to their student loans we at least owe them relevance in their chosen workplace.

Germany apparently let's people choose apprenticeship over university for work such as engineering. Does anyone know more about that? Does it work? Would it work for programmers?

Please post a picture of your Dev/Gaming setups, really intested to know what setups most devs have, e.g laptop or desktop?

Ok I will know if my scam works or not very soon 😁

I think it says something about myself when the first thing I do when pooping is open DevRant.

My mates and I all like computers and the teachers know this. My friends mainly game and have little knowledge of programing but like to pretend they do (green text terminals, etc).
The teachers always ask what we are hacking jokingly and we usually just laugh. Today I'd had enough with the dry jokes and when one of the teachers asked "what are you hacking today" I told her the truth...

'Last night I was able to bruteforce your school login, simple password which is cute, as expected, you reused that password despite the warnings and I used that to login to your Facebook and check your private messages, I suggest getting a better password Miss'.

Anyone else got good programming skills but just to fucking young to get a dev job?

So on top of my Windows update frustrations, I just found out that Microsoft has been scamming me out of money for two years!
I bought an android tablet in 2016 which came with a free 1 year subscription to Office365. They demanded credit card info, so I made sure to pre-cancel it to avoid getting charged when the year was up.
Today I find a line on my bank statement that just says 'MICROSOFT', and I think to myself: 'What the hell is that?!?'
It takes some digging for the email adress I used and trying to navigate various MS sites until I realize that those bastards have auto-renewed the subscription twice now!
I missed it last year, but luckily since I caught the latest one within 30 days I can get a full refund.
Will contact their support tomorrow to get the rest of it back. Too tired right now to deal with their support jungle of circular links and virtual assistants...

Too much to say. I’m pressed 🤦‍♂️ what are those brw?

I really don't get why creators of already-suspicious looking software (and the related suspicious looking website) put terms like "NO VIRUS" or "100% free of malware" next to the download area.

I mean, why would that help anything?

(I understand those typical virustotal scan widgets though, those are fine)

When your trying to flash a rom to your phone but its 11:04 and you have an important exam tomorrow 😲

Collective phishing scam

BItcOin tO 20000$!!!!!

ThE bANkS aRe afRAiD oF Us

(/s)

So my girlfriend was trying to find another word for "whispered" and I just had to screenshot this ad...

Could someone tell me what its trying to actually scam people into?

What really grind my gears?

People telling you to get ”a real job", because they can make a website with WordPress without needing any education or scam-diploma(read: proof of education)...

No, that Nigerian prince is not real and it is a scam, and no, I am not jealous and I don't envy you, you know what, it is totally legit ... I was lying ...

Programming on the bus 👌🏼

You revise the code later that day👎🏼

Fruit Machines... Kind of a dev rant, I mean, they have software running them now, but my gripe is the hardware (I think).

Any of you that frequent pubs and use fruit machines notice that many of the LEDs are "broken" / "non functioning" lately? I mean it's rare I see one that doesn't have lights that are out, rendering the entire machine useless, yet it still takes your money.

Intentionally made to break? Or are LEDs really that difficult to get right? Or maybe it's software determining which ones to appear "broken" and there is a way reset it?

It's a rant none the less...

I talked to the client how functionality should look like on UI, draw a mockup, designed and made changes to db schema, created REST api, made documentation how to use it, told frontend developer to make changes on frontend application according to the documentation and mockups. Still no one have fucking clue how to do it. Fucking testers can’t write anything, only clicking.
So I sent curl code how the fucking request should look like exactly then resolved bugs they reported as won’t fucking fix because I will not be also making fucking frontend. Probably they even don’t know what curl is. What a fucking fuck.
And that’s what I am mostly doing from Monday till Friday to keep this project going.
It’s cause client are nice guys and we are doing something good, not some fucking ai, blockchain, big data, financial scam everyone is wanking around.
And friends are asking, why I drink.

Just made some backup software with python to backup folders to Google Drive. I found all other backup solutions were paid or had to be uploaded to their servers, not to any free cloud storage like OneDrive. I also wanted it to be automated and run on a set schedule. I just need to make a GUI and add support for OneDrive and Dropbox!

!dev
!rant

Damn, another scam in my protonmail..... Why does protonmail not detect this???

TFW your boss likes you enough to set up a full-time offer for you. 😗

TFW the offer is $20K below the average salary. 😬