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These guys were studying for a Java exam...from PRINTED OUT PHONE PICTURES OF CODE ON THEIR SCREENS
32 -
I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:
Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*
WTF is this high school?12 -
Train conversation between 3 girls:
A: "Oh, I've got 4G.. "
B: "What, we have 4G!?"
C: "OMG I HATE 4G!"
A: "Yeah, it's almost as slow as E"
C: "I know, right?!"
.....
Kill me pls17 -
"The difference between SSDs and HDDs is that HDDs store data on spinning CDs inside the drive"
-- a 3rd year CS student
Spinning CDs?? CDs?!?!?25 -
Sitting on the bus updating my system.
Random girl: What are you using?
Me: Linux :).
Random girl: Ohh I use Mac, because that doesn't have viruses and can't get hacked!
*me waiting for a cliff to jump off*36 -
Yes, that's an 18 arguments constructor.. there's 21 other classes and I'm afraid of looking into them.
53 -
I’m a senior dev at a small company that does some consulting. This past October, some really heavy personal situation came up and my job suffered for it. I raised the flag and was very open with my boss about it and both him and my team of 3 understood and were pretty cool with me taking on a smaller load of work while I moved on with some stuff in my life. For a week.
Right after that, I got sent to a client. “One month only, we just want some presence there since it’s such a big client” alright, I guess I can do that. “You’ll be in charge of a team of a few people and help them technically.” Sounds good, I like leading!
So I get here. Let’s talk technical first: from being in a small but interesting project using Xamarin, I’m now looking at Visual Basic code, using Visual Studio 2010. Windows fucking Forms.
The project was made by a single dev for this huge company. She did what she could but as the requirements grew this thing became a behemoth of spaghetti code and User Controls. The other two guys working on the project have been here for a few months and they have very basic experience at the job anyways. The woman that worked on the project for 5 years is now leaving because she can’t take it anymore.
And that’s not the worse of it. It took from October to December for me to get a machine. I literally spent two months reading on my cellphone and just going over my shitty personal situation for 8 hours a day. I complained to everyone I could and nothing really worked.
Then I got a PC! But wait… no domain user. Queue an extra month in which I could see the Windows 7 (yep) log in screen and nothing else. Then, finally! A domain user! I can log in! Just wait 2 extra weeks for us to give your user access to the subversion rep and you’re good to go!
While all of this went on, I didn’t get an access card until a week ago. Every day I had to walk to the reception desk, show my ID and request they call my boss so he could grant me access. 5 months of this, both at the start of the day and after lunch. There was one day in particular, between two holidays, in which no one that could grant me access was at the office. I literally stood there until 11am in which I called my company and told them I was going home.
Now I’ve been actually working for a while, mostly fixing stuff that works like crap and trying to implement functions that should have been finished but aren’t even started. Did I mention this App is in production and being used by the people here? Because it is. Imagine if you will the amount of problems that an application that’s connecting to the production DB can create when it doesn’t even validate if the field should receive numeric values only. Did I mention the DB itself is also a complete mess? Because it is. There’s an “INDEXES” tables in which, I shit you not, the IDs of every other table is stored. There are no Identity fields anywhere, and instead every insert has to go to this INDEXES table, check the last ID of the table we’re working on, then create a new registry in order to give you your new ID. It’s insane.
And, to boot, the new order from above is: We want to split this app in two. You guys will stick with the maintenance of half of it, some other dudes with the other. Still both targeting the same DB and using the same starting point, but each only working on the module that we want them to work in. PostmodernJerk, it’s your job now to prepare the app so that this can work. How? We dunno. Why? Fuck if we care. Kill you? You don’t deserve the swift release of death.
Also I’m starting to get a bit tired of comments that go ‘THIS DOESN’T WORK and ‘I DON’T KNOW WHY WE DO THIS BUT IT HELPS and my personal favorite ‘??????????????????????14 -
That sad sad moment you spot someone returning HTML in an ajax request 🥺
Why lord must you punish me?
12 -
Normal devRant user:
- Look, the algo it's awesome, it matches similar content posts, it's so funny!
Meanwhile at devRant Headquarters:
trogus: When are you telling them?
dfox: Ignorance is bliss, my friend
trogus: Well, at least we know the random number generator it's not coded by Sony though, otherwise they would suspect12 -
I just ask an intern to comment a Java class I send him (for practice). He asked what should he use to open the file, because, he said, "Word, messes it up"
Seriously, what are they teaching at schools?26 -
*casually programming stuff*
*Sudden need to open cmd arises*
Me: *opens cmd and starts typing, when it hits me*
"Fuck"
Friend: "what happended?"
Me: "i forgot to turn on hackermode"
*enters "color 0a"*
"Better"
Friend: *chuckles angerly*6 -
Part of my job involves speaking with users on the phone and I really don’t mind it except for THESE PEOPLE:
Me: Hi! XYZ Co. this is Tawzer!
Them: Hi Tawzer this is blah blah I need help with the website I just can’t figure it out!
Me: Okay! Let me ju-
Them: Yeah you know I’ve been struggling for hours with it I really don’t have time for this.
Me: Oh I imagine! What’s your-
Them: Well I was gonna try and get everything done today by 3 but with all of this tech stuff going wrong I just don’t know...
Me: That sounds frustrating, can i get your-
Them: Is this going to take long??
Me: Nope! I just need to know your-
Them: like I said I just really don’t have time for this!
Me: ........ What’s your-
Them: well I-
Me: WHAT’S YOUR USERNAME
Them: Uh I don’t know can you look me up? I didn’t know I’d need that.
Me: 👩🏻💻12 -
*on the phone with a client*
Important detail: in Dutch we call a colon a "double point" and a semicolon a "point comma".
Me: go to {url} and put double point followed by {something} behind it.
Client: *tries for 5 minutes, suggestions forth and back*
Me: how did you type the double points?
Client: I typed two points. (..)
The level of retardness I thought existed got worse once again.
At that moment the open window seemed like a veeery good option 😭15 -
I AM A FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!
I have a setDelta(float newdelta) function that set newdelta to the old delta!
Fucking hell!
I even made a fool of myself on stack overflow! Kill me now please!14 -
Friend: So you're like a Developer right? Specifically using JavaScript?
Me: I mean...kinda? Pretty Noobish still...
Friend: But you could like show a buddy of mine some basics right?
Me (thinking to myself...the best way to test your knowledge is to teach it...): well...sure...
Friend: Great here is their info!
*Drives an hour away*
*sits down with this friend of a friend*
*busts out laptop*
Friend of friend: So how long have you been a Java Developer?
Me: -_- oh fuck...
*head desk*15 -
Please for the love of god name your variables in a sensible way! How the FUCK am I supposed to read your shitcode if you decide to write 6 (!!!) nested loops with variables each named by exactly one character. With no comments whatsoever!
I would rather crack password hashes than this nonsense.
13 -
Well, here's the OS rant I promised. Also apologies for no blog posts the past few weeks, working on one but I want to have all the information correct and time isn't my best friend right now :/
Anyways, let's talk about operating systems. They serve a purpose which is the goal which the user has.
So, as everyone says (or, loads of people), every system is good for a purpose and you can't call the mainstream systems shit because they all have their use.
Last part is true (that they all have their use) but defining a good system is up to an individual. So, a system which I'd be able to call good, had at least the following 'features':
- it gives the user freedom. If someone just wants to use it for emailing and webbrowsing, fair enough. If someone wants to produce music on it, fair enough. If someone wants to rebuild the entire system to suit their needs, fair enough. If someone wants to check the source code to see what's actually running on their hardware, fair enough. It should be up to the user to decide what they want to/can do and not up to the maker of that system.
- it tries it's best to keep the security/privacy of its users protected. Meaning, by default, no calling home, no integrating users within mass surveillance programs and no unnecessary data collection.
- Open. Especially in an age of mass surveillance, it's very important that one has the option to check the underlying code for vulnerabilities/backdoors. Can everyone do that, nope. But that doesn't mean that the option shouldn't be there because it's also about transparency so you don't HAVE to trust a software vendor on their blue eyes.
- stability. A system should be stable enough for home users to use. For people who like to tweak around? Also, but tweaking *can* lead to instability and crashes, that's not the systems' responsibility.
Especially the security and privacy AND open parts are why I wouldn't ever voluntarily (if my job would depend on it, sure, I kinda need money to stay alive so I'll take that) use windows or macos. Sure, apple seems to care about user privacy way more than other vendors but as long as nobody can verify that through source code, no offense, I won't believe a thing they say about that because no one can technically verify it anyways.
Some people have told me that Linux is hard to use for new/(highly) a-technical people but looking at my own family and friends who adapted fast as hell and don't want to go back to windows now (and mac, for that matter), I highly doubt that. Sure, they'll have to learn something new. But that was also the case when they started to use any other system for the first time. Possibly try a different distro if one doesn't fit?
Problems - sometimes hard to solve on Linux, no doubt about that. But, at least its open. Meaning that someone can dive in as deep as possible/necessary to solve the problem. That's something which is very difficult with closed systems.
The best example in this case for me (don't remember how I did it by the way) was when I mounted a network drive at boot on windows and Linux (two systems using the same webDav drive). I changed the authentication and both systems weren't in for booting anymore. Hours of searching how to unfuck this on windows - I ended up reinstalling it because I just couldn't find a solution.
On linux, i found some article quite quickly telling to remove the entry for the webdav thingy from fstab. Booted into a root recovery shell, chrooted to the harddrive, removed the entry in fstab and rebooted. BAM. Everything worked again.
So yeah, that's my view on this, I guess ;P32 -
FUCK YOU PHP!!!! FUCKING HELL JUST FUCK THE HELL OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
8 GOD FORSAKEN HOURS SPENT TRYING TO ZIP SOME SHITTY FUCKING FILES IN A FOLDER ON MY WEB SERVER TO HAVE THEM DOWNLOADED TO MY CLIENT COMPUTER.... 8 HOURS UNABLE TO OPEN THE DAMN FILE AND THE ISSUE WAS "echo" & "print_r()" STATEMENTS GETTING TRAPPED IN MY ZIPARCHIVE BUFFER MAKING THE ZIP FILE A GIANT PILE OF UNREADABLE SHIT.
HOW IN GODS NAME WERE THOSE FUCKERS EVEN BEING ADDED TO THE ZIP FILE.
Fucking hell. Time to sleep.8 -
Don’t you just love it when you do the following in a prod database 😅
UPDATE table SET someImportantField= NULL; WHERE abc = 123;
If I don’t laugh right now I’m going to cry.6 -
Relatives: What does he do as a job?
Mom: He's an informatician, he tinkers with computers
Me: No, I'm a programmer.
Relatives: Is it computer related?
Me: Yes, but..
Relative: Sounds like an informatician to me.
I'm so tempted to say that I butcher animals, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm a veterinarian.11 -
Yesterday, I had a meeting to prepare today's meeting, which goal is to prepare tomorrow's meeting... 😣7
-
Client: "Hey we want you to integrate your product with our system."
Me: "Oh, OK. Where's your API?"
Client: "Here! We even have an outdated .Net SDK, we use XML."
Me: "Ok.. how do we authenticate? What's your OAuth 2.0 endpoint?"
Client: "O auth what?"
Me: " You know, the current standard for REST API authentication and authorisation"
Client: " What's REST?"
*Hungs up*8 -
The dickhead of this rant is me, and I’m writing on behalf of my coworker.
Stop singing the fucking same song from ABBA again and again, you little nervous cocksucker!
Side-note: in my defence, Super Trooper is really a catchy song :)
Side-note 2 : trooper-per, trooper-per9 -
Boss: Have you finished that feature?
Me: Almost there, i'm refactoring some classes...
Boss: What? Refactor? But thisnis a new feature, it does not need refactor! We don't have time for this!
Me: 😵🔫
This is what happen when you care about code quality.5 -
My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...
Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.
Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!
I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...
Me: Teamviewer. Now.
Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....
I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!
He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!
........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???
Kill me now.4 -
Well, it all started off with hardware-level programming involving jumpers and stuff like that... Then came Assembly, which was good.. B, C compilers. Finally came the interpreted languages, and that's where in my opinion the abstraction should've ended. But no, we needed more frameworks, more libraries, even more abstraction! Where does it end? As it seems to be going, I guess that users will have kid toys - no iToys! - for electronics and we'll be programming on with bloated Scratch GUI's. Nothing against Scratch, but that shit ain't proper programming anymore. God I can't wait for the future.
ABSTRACT ALL THE THINGS!!!
Oh and not to mention that all software will be governed in political correctness by some Alex SJW AI shit that became sentient. Not a single programming term will be non-offensive anymore, no matter how hard you try to not offend anyone, or God forbid - don't care about it because you just want to make something that's readable, usable and working!! Terms, UI names for buttons, heck even icons! REMOVE IT BECAUSE IT OFFENDS SOMEONE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT!!!18 -
Discovered one of the worst db designs ever:
- A cust is inserted in a table.
- The insert trigger is fired, calling a stored proc
- The stored proc being called creates a dynamic sql that builds a create table statement for 8 different tables. These tables will be postfixed with the newly-created cust id and is executed.
When querying info for a cust, a stored proc is used that accepts an id value would be appended to another dynamic sql that creates a select statement across all 8 tables for one customer.
Shoot me now.10 -
So I was playing Formula 1 game and I heard “push, push, push” from the engineer while leaving pit-lane.
I immediately closed game and started “git push”3 -
Being a techie surrounded by "normal" people is like a torment you didn't ask for. I just watched someone copy a whole folder of images to their flash drive.
File by file.
Without keyboard shortcuts.
In one explorer window.
Select, copy, navigate to flash drive, paste, navigate to folder, repeat.8 -
My boss is making me deploy a major change what hasn't had proper testing yet on the day I leave for 2 weeks. Save me someone.13
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People, for God's sake PLEASE at least try to understand the code you are copy-pasting ... now I have to debug a weird function because of someone who didn't.4
-
Conversation between me (intern) and a guy from communications, let's call him Bob.
Bob: "Hey, client X wants these pages to be changed."
Me: "Again? Last time I changed them was less than a week ago!"
Bob: "Yeah, everyone thinks X is a pain in the ass, but hey, more money for us."
Me: "But you don't pay me..."
Bob: "Oh yeah, you're right haha XD."
Me: "Haha... :')"2 -
Why do I keep seeing children in every workspace I go to..? I can admit that I'm childish at times but... and this is just life advice?
You're adults.
Don't lie. Don't cry when you don't get your way. Don't claim I am lying when I prove you wrong.
Most importantly?
Don't make a false accusation. You ALMOST LOST YOUR LIFE TODAY with that bullshit. One more word from your mouth to tarnish my reputation with a good group of people in that manner and frankly, I would've shot you dead in front of everyone.
Short version of the story behind this rant:
Someone accused me of sexual harassment because I (I wish I was joking about this) held the door for a female employee that works with me. I brushed off the bullshit that happened at the door but the customer went to the manager who, as a result, nearly fired me and sent me to court.
Fortunately we have a camera at the entrance which disproved the allegations of "he grabbed my ass while I walked through the door" and our security guard is a badass and kept the tape.19 -
"no micro managing here!"
*Boss comes in at 5*
- how much work have you done?
- why isn't this finished yet?
- you're working too slow
- show me git status
- show me git log
- why is this taking you so long?15 -
I HOPED I WOULDN'T BE BALD AS MY DAD BUT AT THIS RATE I WILL BE HAIRLESS FROM TEARING IT OUT ON MY BLOODY OWN
I got hired for cleaning up a 2 year project of rushed spaghetti code , where they previously only had 1 programmer aND HE WROTE 37 THOUSAND LINES OF CODE!
OH WE NEED A NEW FEATURE?! LEMME JUST RESEARCH THIS COMMENT-LESS CRAP FOR MULTIPLE MILLENIA BEFORE I CAN GRASP WHAT THE FLYING FRICKIN FRIDGE CODE DOES
To top it off, I've about ONE MONTH LEFT BEFORE BETA RELEASE TO FIX THE CODE!
I'm super grateful for this job as it's my first programming job BUT I'M GONNA SET THE REPOSITORY ON FIRE SOON AAAAHHHHHH
HOW CAN YOU, THE PREVIOUS PROGRAMMER, WORK IN THIS ENVIRONMENT WHERE MOSTLY ALL FILES ARE +2000 ROWS OF UNDOCUMENTED CODE
OH AND JUST GOT A MESSAGE FROM THE PREVIOUS PROGRAMMER:
"You can just remove the unused code and refractor it some, izi"
IZI MY SHITTY POOP CAR
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Now with that out of the way, how would you recommend handling a stressful release deadline?6 -
Never seen anything more cringy than the "hacking" scenes in the new Fast and Furious movie... -.-6
-
And in one foul swoop I am unemployed with bills due, an engagement ring to pay off and medical shit... This is fine17
-
Day 2 of writing documentation: still ready to go insane from repeating myself and am reconsidering everything I have ever done in my life...
8 -
Kill me...
At school @desjna and I are working on a project where we have to make a website.
In wix.
I just said "fuck that, I'm doing it in HTML / css "
Also.. this is in the class with the teacher that thinks I'm hacking... My go-to web-dev environment is tmux with green text and black background... This is going to be "fun"
Predictions on how long I can make it without him flipping at me?15 -
So, should I refactor this into a .greatGreatGrandParent() method, or should I just go hang myself?
(Thanks former colleague for this gem)
10 -
Rant 2/n; 😎 = me, 💩 = client
The (brief but comprehensive) docs I sent my client contained the following line: "Any text that has not been translated will be highlighted yellow for the admins".
A day later:
💩: "Hey, I like the new design, but why are the titles yellow?"
😎: "They aren't actually yellow. You just see that because you're logged in and they aren't translated"
💩: "But the yellow doesn't look good with the design. Visitors will think it looks unprofessional. Make them not yellow!"
😎: "They won't see the yellow! Only you can see it so you don't miss any translations"
💩: "Hi, I just noticed some of the titles aren't in English. How do I translate them? And they're still yellow."
😐🙁😠😡🤬💥6 -
Getting real fucking sick of shitty websites excessive security measures!
1. Username
2. Password
3. Captcha
4. Mandatory 2FA
We don't recognize your IP, please log into your email, click the link, get redirected and complete steps 1-4 again! Also the site will time out in 10 minutes if you aren't actively using it. Have a nice day!
Go fuck yourself.7 -
On the presentation for my database project my team and I showed a NodeJS + Mongo + VueJS project with cloud storage capability, nothing fancy but did everything from scratch (from token auth and system encryption to the frontend CSS and the database) the teacher made some questions and meh'd at it.
Behold team two's project, WordPress with a standard template and phpMyAdmin, teacher loves it because "it's so beautiful"
Guess who just failed that class?
God I love college, it's the best time investment I've ever done and it'll surely pay out.
11 -
Client: I need a blog with 3 categories.
Designer: cool, let's have every post teaser in the home look diferent depending on the category.
Me (Dev): Ok...
Client: *sees actual design with different looking posts depending on category* I like it! Let's go!
Me: *codes the site*
Client: It's cool but in the home the posts look different... Could we make them look the same?
Me:...10 -
Having to implement full text and filter search on JSON data using ElasticSearch on a Django app within 24 hours...
Sure client. Should I also insert this flaming metal cactus inside of myself?9 -
While writing a Xamarin Forms app in C#.
Graphic designer: "Can you increase the letter spacing of this label by 1.5em?"
Me: "Uhhhh...."
Graphic designer: "I know you can do it, I've done it in CSS before"
Me: "...."11 -
Me at midnight: let's release a demo build
Me at 1 am: why are there so many bugs? Why won't it compile.
Me at 2 am: omg finally compiled. Runs it, buttons don't work. Closes it, reopens it. Buttons work.
Me at 3 am: let's write apologetic posts for the bugs, but post the version anyway
Me at 4 am: why do I advertise in so many places
Me at 5 am: let's update the patreon reward tiers
Me at 5:30 am: nah fuck this, going to bed.
Mom at 9 am: wake the hell up we need you to dig out a hill and build a stone wall around one side of the house.
Me: omg wtf why.
Me at 2:30 pm: why the hell are we doing this, I have so many bugs to patch and everyone knows they are there because I told them all!
5 -
Oh my fucking god I deserve to be shot for my stupidity.
I spent an hour in absolute fear trying to figure out what was wrong with my PC - it would boot but the monitor wouldn't show anything.
I'd forgotten that I'd changed to monitor to show HDMI input - but I was using a HDMI-to-VGA converter so the monitor should have been set to VGA input :/4 -
Manager: Morning Alex, how are you?
My Brain: I'm fan-fucking-tastic, I've had 1 hour of sleep, hurt my back, feels like my tail bone is broken, struggling to walk, every piece of code I've written for the past 3 day's has been a complete waste of time and I'm at work...
Me actually: Good thanks .-.4 -
Fuck this system. Fuck college. Why the fuck are you making me write hundreds of chemistry assignments and calculating double integrals? How the fuck does that even help me? I seriously feel like college sucks up a huge chunk of my time and I am not learning anything, while I practice Node and Vue at home. Why does that degree hold so much value when most degree holders don't even have skills?27
-
This is most probably my last rant : (
FUCK INDIAN EDUCATION SYSTEM! I got recently promoted to 11th Grade and end of the story. I got fucked. Is it because of my percentage in 10th grade? NO! It's 11th and 12th grade. Ranters, if you think this is a rant by a stereotypical high school kid then you're wrong. Well, I am a high school kid but FUCK!! Let me explain: We have two major career paths in India: Medical and Engineering. In Medical, there are various colleges such as AIIMS and JIPMER (The Respected ones) and in Engineering, you have IIT (Indian Institutes of Technology). To get inside most of the medical colleges you have to complete a stupid exam called NEET which is primarily based on 11th and 12th-grade portions and JEE exam for engineering. To complete these bull shit exams we have to literally kill ourselves. I want to bring you the notice of 0.001% of students who are interested in one of these fields but were forced to choose the other one because of their parents. Let's get this straight, they are our parents and they know everything about us and everything which is right for us. We won't calculate their decisions we just obey them and I want to bring notice of 0.000001% of students who are programmers and were forced to take medical path like myself. I am screwed!! I can't access my computer. My programming skills will get rusty and I can't be what I wanted to become. I am not complaining about the things we have to study as a student but what they are doing is removing the opportunity for students like us to pivot our career. I am now forced to study for the medical exam which means no more computer for the next 2 years. After 2 years, I have officially lost all my programming stuff and I may get into some medical college then for the next 5 years I am fucked studying for the degree and then the next 10 years for the practical experience. Then you have successfully wasted your life.
Thanks to my nation's educational system! I have to quit my hobby and my dream. Thanks for reading this long rant and goodbye!
PS: I will try my best to come to devRant every week at least in the restroom.58 -
!dev but still rant
So I'm a photocopier technician by day, alcoholic coder by night. Just spent 3 fucking hours trying to diagnose a black line on print outs, checked drums, dev units, toner cartridges, fusing unit, everything...
Called up one of the guys I work with and they said to come back with some samples to try and pin it down...
I turn around to leave and remember I didn't check the transfer belt and lo and behold it isn't cleaning and is smearing the paper...
3 fucking hours to work out such a simple error, I've had program breaking bugs diagnosed and fixed by then... ugh -.-1 -
I am so BORED!
Like, seriously.... so so bored... work isn’t fun anymore... I don’t do any fun coding anymore...
Meh 😔11 -
[doesn't do any work for like 3 days]
"I guess it's about time I got something done"
[opens laptop]
3 -
When you're asked to extend a functionality on a piece of code and the 2.5k lines in the view are a juicy mix of PHP, HTML, CSS, JavaScript and the functionality relying on jQuery trasversing through the document tree and expecting things to be in their place. Oh did I mention html build with strings in JS? I'm going to love this day! WHY, JUST WHY?! *gasp*
3 -
!rant
So, uh.
Just came back from my vacation, only to find out that my PC is now broken.
Like, it doesn't turn on.
Great.19 -
When you spend 3 hours looking at your project's code and debugging it to find out you forgot to add a '!' to your if condition.... Brilliant
4 -
[Story Time]
So yesterday, this babe posted on a Facebook group saying she was looking for a tutor for her Python course in uni. I though to myself, "I'll be good lad and help someone out for the good of it". I messaged her and said I'd help when she asked me how much I was charging.
.
.
WAIT I'M GETTING PAID FOR THIS ?
"Awesome, this is gonna be the easiest job in the planet". Here I was the idiot, about to do it for free.
So we decide to Skype(The new interview feature) so I can start teaching immediately. Mind you it was 3 am in the morning. I'm a night owl and we're a time difference of FUCKING 14 hours.
So I opened up the skype interview website and sent her a link. 10 mins later I realize that I don't even fucking have webcam drivers installed on my laptop that I'd been using for over 2 years. How the Fuck does that happen?
Anyways I start searching for drivers and realize it's going to take a hell of lot more time to install the drivers. So I boot into Windows, YUCK, went on Skype and asked her what she knows so far. She says she knows the basic syntax and concepts. So I ask her to do a simple while loop and she puts the print outside the fucking loop. "Oh well, i guess it's going to be a long night".
Two hours of absolutely no progress later, she sends me a small 2 page pdf which is her homework/exercise. I politely told her I'm not there to do her homework, but I can show her how to do the concepts. After a while we ended the chat and I decided to go to sleep.
*gets up from the bed*
Wait, why did she look so worried about the homework? I opened the pdf.
GRAPH THEORY
I should have asked for higher pay. This is going to be impossible.
Fuck me :/6 -
"I want it looking and working exactly the same in IE6, IE7, IE8, IE9, Chrome, Safari and Mobile...."
Oh wait, that happened...10 -
So my parents got speakers integrated into their monitor. A few years ago (like 3-4) they made me turn off the sound because it annoyed them since all they did were playing some shitty flash games and some office work. Now they needed the sound back on and this is how it happened.
1. Confirm they plugged the right cable in. I know them so I knew that could be a problem
2. Made them download Teamviewer because I know they can't even doubleclick without guidance
Now the juicy part was to tell them they need to turn on sound on the monitor. As I was watching via teamviewer I saw them trying to click on the menu items from said monitor. Took me 5 minutes to explain that their mouse can't do shit on that because they need to navigate with the buttons underneath the monitor.
Turned out they couldnt get things right and I had no idea what they were seeing because they explanations went like "All I can see is Main Menu and Exit." - "Is that really all dad?" "Yes thats all. Main Menu, Brightness and Exit" turnes out the middle part is interchangable like "Brightness, Saturation, etc..."
After 2 hours I gave up and told them to pick up my speakers tomorrow -
>starts a new project
>new project is kernel
>clinl.tiff
>implements a big bunch of C++ stl
>wants to implement a FS
>needs ATA-Drivers
>ofuck.vmw
>Writes Ata drivers
>Ata drivers don't work on ACPI systems
>i_want_to_kill_kevin.fossil
>implements ACPI according to osdevwiki
>doesn't work
>decides to read the acpi specs
4 -
I fucking hate meetings! I just spent 3 hours in a meeting arguing on how to do pull requests to master.
I am now nursing a severe headache of bullshit ideas and loud voices!!!!!!3 -
Being forced to use wordpress for every fucking project because "everyone needs a cms and wordpress is the best".
3 -
For an early meeting PM promised to bring coffee for every one.
Now he says that he forgot...
Early in the morning, stuck in 3 hours meeting without coffee...4 -
Damnit...
I'm kind of a perfectionist, which is one of the reasons why I don't post here very often.
I think that my posts have to be the most hilarious or creative ones to even be bothered to be read by anyone.
Now.. I'm kind of not sober, so I'll just write some idéas, jokes and rants in notes on my iPad.. Sleep, and get drunk again tomorrow and maybe post them...
Or maybe just delete this post and be ashamed tomorrow?
I at least posted this under the "Joke/Meme" tag so that people won't be offended, hopefully, by this "none-rant".5 -
A mosquito got into my room the other night and feasted on my foot for 9 hours. I could hardly walk the next day, and the itching was insane. I couldn’t go to sleep the next night I was so absorbed by my fixation on finding him. Eventually I barricaded myself with blankets. The one time blankets will actually protect you.3
-
This has been my semester so far:
Professor: "Please read this material for the next session"
*Next session arrives*
Professor: "Now I will repeat everything you've just read with no additional content"
I feel like this is a waste of my fucking time. I always read the material, because I enjoy the topics we're taught. But this is getting ridiculous... I have to endure it to get my master's degree though :/10 -
You motherfucking incompetent useless collection of hairy ballsacks even a trained monkey could do a better job than you do. And I swear once we literally cross the 99% availability rate I will find your headquarters and smash everyone's face into each of your fucking servers then set that whole place on fire.
You forget to flush the DNS cache after moving my server (of course on Friday when else), here is 2 days of error page for my site, whoose instructions a normal user simply couldn't follow. Not to mention it pointed to the wrong article.
Random 503 error, and you aren't answering my phone calls, though usually I am the first one who informs you of a fucking problem with your fucking server and I have to wait 5-10 minutes in line while you are figuring out the problem.
And now random forbidden error for my whole page. Out of nothing. I've changed nothing. You said one hour earlier that it's your mistake and it will took around 30 min. Still nothing.
I'm fed up with all your bullshit. Go fuck yourselves.
I'm out...5 -
Don't you fucking love spending 3 days debugging only to realise you had a fucking dash instead of an underscore... Yeah me too! .-.5
-
I'm the git expert at my work. This means every time someone has the slightest issue with git (or the git features in their ide), I get interrupted.
😡😡😡
Also I will say it is fascinating watching people who've used centralised version control all their lives struggle with distributed.
"Do you have my changes? I merged them into your branch..."
"You can commit and not push?!"9 -
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
I solemnly swear I won't help anyone no more.
(Fucking bitch dragged me till 3 A.M, NO SHE'S NOT WORTH IT)3 -
Have you ever reach a point where you lost any desire or mood to do anything? Like when you don't even want to rant about the fuckedupshit you are in.9
-
Android is gonna be the death of me. Any fucking idea you have is impossible to implement, because libraries with clear documentation are deprecated. If a library is not deprecated, however, it has documentation written by a fucking caveman who thinks it's extremely self explanatory on how to use something that is extremely application specific. Spent hours looking at Google example code that crashes almost immediately after execution, what a joke.3
-
Stupid piece of legacy shit needing to silent print without the dialogs in IE on windows 10.
this is proving to be a thing of nightmares.
this has worked for years but no windows need to block this “for security”
windows and security - i would laugh but this is going to keep me awake at night.1 -
Just found out that not even shutting down windows from CMD jumps the "updates" shit, thank you windows go fuck yourself5
-
After several long nights of learning to resize encrypted lvm partitions, fixing grub, finding screws, and waiting....
I finally managed to move my system files from the old drive to the new SSD.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH2 -
I really really really don't like Windows. The amount of awful updates that I have to do all of the time, the fact that my mother just had Windows updates try and run, fail, try and run again, fail again, and then try a third time. But I'm stuck with it, because if I try and run a Linux live CD, my computer has a fit. Because Ryzen. Fantastic
24 -
A long time ago, I've started my journey into web development. Discovered HTML, CSS and was great, then it came WordPress.
As a self taught developer I thought this was an awesome way to develop sites quicker, didn't really knew any better and, for all I did at the time it was fine.
Then I discovered .NET and MVC, I was amazed (I kinda love the MVC pattern)
Then it came Laravel, really really liked working with it, felt free to develop isntead of focusing on mundane stuff
Last week a client came by, requesting a site for his business, he wanted all sorts of custom stuff, but he needed it in WordPress because that is what he knows how to use.
After three days of dealing with "the WordPress way" I'm seriously considering doing the whole thing in Laravel and style the admin to look like WordPress. I feel like wrestling a 500 pound gorilla, geez, why do every little feature has to be implemented in such an unnatural way.
I'm grabbing a hook but to hang myself on it5 -
My college wants me to submit my final project.... On a compact disk!
Yes, I'm sitting here facepalming myself to a pulp.
Like what the actual fuck, those things died six years ago! The last time I burned a cd was probably when I was in 9th grade and had a potato for a computer.8 -
I just picked up a project from a person that no longer works at the company.
Every single commit for the past year has been the exact same message "SOME UPDATES" 😫6 -
Working as a part time student on an app and until now I thought I was the king of software development.
Well, fuck me and my high horse.
Today the stuff we send from the client to the server didn't arrive, so I asked the backend guy if he could take a look at the packages arriving. He did and told me the data was messed up.
I did only design stuff the last week or so, so I was very confused. After reverting back to one old commit after the other it struck me.
I still don't know how such a dumb mistake could have happened to me, the king of Android apps, but apparently I replaced all occurrences of a specific keyword in just the strings and comments of the whole project. Key became KeyList, so instead of <Keys> my XML contained <KeyList> which made no goddamn sense whatsoever.
Did I mention that we have an important deadline tomorrow? Yeah...
So now I leaned my lesson. Never trust XML.
JK I'm dumb. That's the lesson here. -
Have 3 projects due in a week, two of which are partner projects. One of them has 6 other members in the group and I've only met 5 of them, one of them being two days ago for the first time. The other member has not replied to any emails from any of us, and we've had this project for three weeks now. Either do your homework or get the fuck out. We are also suppose to present it in class for our final... Group projects in college suck6
-
Fucking kill me. I've just agreed to make a shitty fucking app that would be better as a Webpage, using shitty fucking technologies I don't understand, to do a thing that would be better handled by a third party.
You know why? The guy who asked me to do it is a good friend, and I'm the "best (only) code monkey" he knows. FUCK MY LIFE.
At least I'm getting payed7 -
Years ago, one of my friends in college was taking an intro to CS class. He asked me for help on one of his assignments. It was a simple Python program, but it wasn't running as expected. I go in figuring it will be easy to fix. But everything looks exactly right. An hour later I'm tearing my hair out! It isn't even entering the function although it's clearly called. I'm beginning to feel very self conscious, as a CS major who can't even debug a 15 line program for a friend.
Then it hit me. This is Python. I used an editor macro to convert all indentation to tabs, lined them up, and it ran on the first try. Turns out, he had somehow ended up with a mixture of tabs and spaces.
I'm not sure what the takeaway is, but I think he got a surprisingly honest introduction to the life of a developer...2 -
How in the fuck do you start getting clients as a freelancer? Do I just throw stuff on my GitHub and pray someone hits me up on Fiverr? Upwork won't accept my account and it's been fucking four months of me trying. I took to becoming a full-time designer to push our startup's products to completion but a fucking failure over there too everytime.
Everything is a fucking shitfest and I'm just whining at this point but I needed to take this off of my fucking chest. A good fucking day to you too.8 -
...
$html .= '</li></ul></div>' . $label . '</div>';
return new JsonModel(
'status' => true,
'html' => $html
);1 -
I have to use the worst CMS in the world.
But here’s the kicker - it’s our intranet and it’s hosted externally.
Some genius thought that was a good idea.
3 -
Me: *gets a payout from my old job*
Me: ahhh now to spoil myself, let's get some pixel buds and a day dream set and maybe a nice bottle of whiskey.
eBay: YO! We have that MacBook you've been looking for going really cheap at the moment!
Me: ... I hate myself...
Why does stuff always go on sale when I've spent my money ;-;2 -
So I spent over 200 hours recovering a raid array because the the business that hired the company I work for tried to do all the work in house. Now I'm to the point of trying to quote a new server setup to the company because the last one got hit by lightning. My quote $8000-$20000 in just hardware alone. If im going to do this I want to do it right. Twin servers running xenserver holding virtual machines with a high-quality Nas to hold the virtual machine. Then have the vm's being imaged to two off site backup devices in two different locations and a cloud backup. My boss comes in after me talks to the guy in charge and tells him all that is needed is one server holding all storage on it just like the last server that died and one off-site backup for $4500. How stupid can someone be who has been doing this for over 20 years? Oh btw the software running on this server will be 911 dispatch, jail records and the database for fine payments. The sheriff making the final call me and my boss are meeting with him tomorrow if my boss tries to undercut me I'm going to tell them both that if the same shit happens next time they can spend the time themselves trying to recover stuff because I done the over 200 hours in just short of two weeks.11
-
Security! I wish clients would listen to me regarding security...
The client has started to ask me to give them access to all the logins I have for the email, domain, server etc.
I created them a new account and gave them admin access.
Now they’re asking for password for all the email accounts (I don’t even store them). So I asked why, she wanted to have them in case some of the employees forgot their password.
I explained to her, deeply and many times, WHY THIS IS A BAD FUCKING IDEA. I also discovered she’s keeping it in a document, clear text.
Why do they pay me for support, when they want to have access to everything...
I’m wondering if they’re planning to find someone else to do their support, or do it themselves.
I didn’t even think 25€ pr month is that expensive for support2 -
Some """friend""" of mine asked me help because he has trouble installing WAMP on a Linux distro.
Me: why don't you try to install a LAMP server instead, you are on Linux, you can do whatever you want.
Him: LAMP is not a thing, this doesn't exist, there's no package called like that.
Me: *sends a tutorial to setup a web dev server*
Him: You are so unhelpful, why are you disrespectful like that ?!?
Me: *having some murder thoughts*
Why do I still reply to these people ?5 -
*trying to install arch linux for the first time*
> reboot
> system goes into a boot loop
> cant get into BIOS
> taking pc apart rn8 -
My family members don’t seem to understand that you can attach multiple photos to an email, so they send them one by one, even if that means 10 emails 🙄2
-
Best: I’ve learned A LOT during this year. Some things from devRant, stackoverflow, even the school
Worst: I lost source code of my April Fools game (Super Fernando Bros, I posted a link on devRant about it) 😭1 -
The "sys admin" is upgrading my PC to Windows 10. He says "It's incontestable and must be done."
😃🔫3 -
In my free time I like to compile android ROMs for my device, and I couldn't get my favourite ROM, CarbonROM to compile, it was wining about a c file in a directory and I used a different repo, no sound after compiling but hey, at least it worked right?
Turns out there was a new commit that had messed up the compiler, and this commit was live for about 10 minutes, and I just so happened to be repo syncing at that time.
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. -
Your Thunderbird inbox file is 8GB and you complain about the speed but still, when I fucking ask you if you want me to archive for you the fucking mails, I get a "Hell no, I don't like them archived because then they are difficult to find"... go to fuck off.
-
My paper just got rejected. Again. The first time it was expected. But for this journal, it wasn't supposed to be. Some of the reviewers' comments are stupid. (for eg. I mention a no-loss algorithm fir a game which, so his/her comment is like what's no-loss? , like are you fucking kidding me, if you don't know that, then why are you a reviewer in the first place)
Anyway now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for more journals but all have so high impact factors and I'm not even sure confident to submit again. Had a good mind to mail the editor in chief but well, I don't think it'd help. What do you guys think?
In the middle of another project, another paper, online courses, now this. I'm just done. I didn't go home as well. It's around four o' clock in the morning here, so noone here is awake.
Can anyone hear me?5 -
Today is release day
Today is also the day we add couple of features for the release that will take a week to implement
Life is just won-fuck-erful -
When you work on a web design by a graphic designer, expect to see 12px used for article paragraphs and 9px for navs... And of course, decimal pixels and asymmetric layouts that don't fit in any grid systems... On top of that, layers and layers and clipping masks and all the weird stuff in Illustrator...8
-
I left class early today
I understand me and this kid are both students and both of us are still learning. But when he asks me to help him solve an issue I fucking expect him to listen then try what I’m saying unless he knows for certain that my idea won’t work
I don’t expect him to start ignoring the person HE asked for help to try things on his own and end up DELETING THE FUCKING GRADLE FOLDER because the 1.5.1 version of Android studio my teacher makes us use told him gradle was corrupt
I also didn’t expect him to tell the professor I didn’t tell him not to And them end up with the professor fucking assigning me to help him fix everything even though the kid won’t listen to me anyway refusing to just copy he java and XML to a new project so I grabbed my stuff and left Fuck that bullshit
I understand we’re both students and in the grand scheme of things we’re both idiots. But when I’m asked for help I expect the person to at least listen and not do something absolutely stupid like delete something we don’t understand how to fix
Now I’m making common sense a requirement to ask me for help I don’t need any extra stress I’ll deal with the consequences of walking out tomorrow But I can’t say I regret it1 -
Today I spilt a glass of water onto my palm. As I was shaking the hand of a senior executive. He looked at me in disgust as our hands squelched together.
-
Actuall live footage of me trying to install and configure VMware to work on arch at the moment...
(I might be a little fucking frustrated)
8 -
I'm living it.
I started an internship at this web store made of different pieces and following no apparent rule or convention. They asked me to do this landing page, but I can't access to the development environment, nor push, create a docker, kill myself, nothing. I have to build from the DOM and write with inline style a page copied and pasted, with 300 lines of CSS already in the tpl, overwritten bootstrap 3 and two main CSS files linked. And "they don't do !important".
I wish I could say I'm learning a lot, but not. My life has become a waste of hours trying to please a company stuck and aged. -
You can kill me now...
.entry-item
position: relative
display: inline-block
float: left
width: calc(25vw - (204px/4) - (320px/4))
height: calc(25vw - (204px/4) - (320px/4))
overflow: hidden
@media(max-width: 1600px)
width: calc(33.333vw - (204px/3) - (320px/3))
height: calc(33.333vw - (204px/3) - (320px/3))
@media(max-width: 1440px)
width: calc(33.333vw - (48px/3) - (320px/3))
height: calc(33.333vw - (48px/3) - (320px/3))
@media(max-width: 1200px)
width: calc(50vw - (48px/2) - (320px/2))
height: calc(50vw - (48px/2) - (320px/2))
@media(max-width: 1024px)
width: calc(50vw - (48px/2))
height: calc(50vw - (48px/2))
@media(max-width: 720px)
width: calc(50vw - (24px/2))
height: calc(50vw - (24px/2))
@media(max-width: 580px)
width: 100%
height: calc(100vw - 24px)5 -
Someone please kill me.
I'm sick of myself.
A few days ago in the prize distribution for a past coding contest, I denied my prize and eventually accepted after fucking around a bit.
Now since two days, I'm straight forward wasting my time. My grades are going down exponentially and I'm involving neither in CUDA (which a started just a while ago) nor I'm getting into studies and even getting in competitive coding.... Fuck me!!!!!! -
Fuck my internet connection. I really dont get it, sometimes it works fine and I can download small files while using skype without any problem and the other day, without any apparent reason, I always get kicked out of online games, Websites take ages to load and teamspeak audio cuts out. What the fuck, I even closed everything that might take up the smallest amout of bandwidth. It fucking ruins my night to the point where I want to run through my computer setup with an axe.11
-
Teammate turned my neat minimal service architecture into dog's breakfast.
Now I don't know which one I hate more. Him or ROS.5 -
Apple, next time you want to get me to upgrade my file system, please FUCKING TELL ME IT WONT LET ME INSTALL WINDOWS USING BOOTCAMP, 9 hours and I’ve only just found the file system that will let me run Adobe Cloud and Windows
-
First day back at my old workplace and the guy who replaced me as storeman is going to put me in an early grave...
Literally all of the work I put in over the past year and a bit is gone...
Welp... Let's hope I can get a higher up position soon so I can fix this shit heap .-. -
I hate doing front-end development...
I was hired along with another dev to build a webapp to manage the personnel of this big (2000+) company.
I made the backend and some of the frontend (mainly handling the data movement between the two), but my partner was let go after we delivered a first version because "there was not enough work for both of us".
The backlog is months of work for me and now I have to do everything and it's wearing me down...
I want to quit but it's paying well and I don't want to search for something new.
What do?6 -
Me 🤗"Since you know the domain far better than me, can I ask you to help me understand if I managed to cover all the edge cases with these UNIT TESTS?
😒" no no no, you don't need to check for those cases, you already do that in your code"
🤗 "I'm sorry, I must have explained myself badly. I have written these UNIT TESTS exactly to ... TEST if those CHECKS in my code work and what I need is you to tell me if there are additional cases ..."
😫"but you don't need to!!! You already have that logic in your code"
😐😵☠ 🦍💊🔫🔪"you know what? I'm gonna give them a second look. Thanks"
And then I moonwalked out of the room -
Spent the last 2 and a half days working on sth, it turned out great. Was pointed out a major mistake in the structure, have to redo about 95%. Kill me now.
-
I think the worst feeling ever is taking a break from something, then coming back to it and realizing that you have to rewrite something because you put it off before you took a break.
I've had a lot going on lately, and I decided to work on a web dev project I was doing to get the hang of frontend development. Just realized that I have to rewrite a couple functions. Someone kill me now3 -
Trying to cross-browser test a site is the most aneurysm enducing endeavour. They're all different. Safari manages to screw up everything. Firefox still seems golden and Chrome.... I just don't even know anymore.
-
*sends email to ops manager to explain nuget & git (yes, he is THAT guy)
*his reply "what's nuget?"
Ooooooooh! Why don't you open Google and do a fucking search you amazingly stupid twat!!! In what fucking era do you live in? What the fuck are you doing at work everyday, besides complaining about how time consuming your useless mundane tasks are? Take some of your undeserved salary and go educate yourself, you useless sack of shit! FUCK!
*meanwhile... Little grin on my face. *Shift+delete email.1 -
Just passed 2 to 3 hours learning how to model a chair when I was almost at the end my pc shutdown randomly, I lost everything... Thank you life.3
-
So guys you all remember or know or will know how it is to be a student. Not that much money around, have to be responsible for the first time of your life and I don't know since we're all programmers here our Desktop/laptop that we invested our money on for the university is our life.
Recently I have found out that something is up with my laptop. My Ram should have been 8GB but it shows only 4. I almost fainted, I thought the seller caught an idiot (me) and sold it like that. So I decide, for some reason, to buy 2x8gb ram so I can have 16 since its the max support of the system.
I open the laptop and what to see but my laptop had 2x4gb in there.
Regardless I installed the new ones to find out what else but my PC is now showing just 8gb.
"Calm down Nick" I said maybe GPU uses it but no it only shows 4gb ram, the same amount the laptop came with so I guess it's integrated.
So now I can only think that the problem is occurred because my Father, dropped the laptop when I specifically told him to not have it in dangerous high places. I Googled around but everyone is talking just swaping the ram chips well yeah I did that 100 times, still the same.
Tl;Dr I'm freaking out because theres something up with my laptop9 -
Oh gee thanks Windows. I don't have any deadlines and would looovvveee to watch a loading spinner for an hour!
-
FUCK
Anyone here who graduated in industrial sector engineering fields but managed to switch their careers towards IT/development? Considering that I do have related competences and solid foundations on 2/3 languages.
My job fucking sucks. The pay is good but I'm not doing shit since 2 weeks. Everyone works superslow because there is no shit to do and boredom kills us slowly. My family says that I just need to be assigned to a project and be patient. I don't want a super fast no free time environment, but if there are no challenges any single day what is even the point of getting up in the morning.
It's FUCKING depressing :(3 -
Refactoring/cleaning old code.. Found this gem:
$hour = substr($obj->hour, 0, - 3);
Turns out, hour was saved in the database as a TIME field(DATE was saved in another column) , and the previous genius dev was trying to output time in a H:i format...
No wonder php has such a bad reputation...2 -
There are too many things to get started in I don't know what field to choose.
There are so many technologies listed on job descriptions and it feels like I need to know them all.
Most of them are a huge reach expecting a new grad to have experience with. -
The real life of me as a trainee developer:
New system works locally but fails to work in production and dev.
Proceeds at futile attempts to debug for hours to find out that my connection strings in the transforms were nested inside logging. -
Fuck motherfucking android 8 fucking sideways. And Huawei for that matter too.
My battery drains like 30% faster since the update from 7.0, with even more app limiting than in 7. I've already ranted about UI stuff, but that is negligible compared to this bullshit.
Also, auto brightness is broken and it keeps blinding me fora few seconds in the dark, and choosing way too much brightness.
I've loved my otherworldly battery life, now I feel like an apple user with 4k mah.
I used to get one and a half day battery, now I barely get through the day.12 -
*Creates a random .NET core console application on windows*
Alright, I've created this in Dropbox til I get some traction with it..
*Edits a few things, saves project and syncs files then open's project on mac later that night*
And some more progress, brilliant, save and done..
*Turns on pc next day and see's dropbox taking 80% CPU usage and %20 disk usage*
What the fuck! Ok ctrl alt delete to the rescue!
*Notification pops up saying Dropbox deleted over 20, 000 files*
Well... Aren't we off to a fucking great start .NET Core...
(Yes I know I can get all files back, done and done and can't actually 100% pin it down to .NET Core..) -
So a trainee made a website at the company where I also have my internship, he finished his internship earlier than I did. But the problem is I'm now fixing his site and it's literally falling apart! I fixed one problem and a dozen apear! His code is the definition of spaghetti code. It's so extremely bad I can't handle this, I don't want to do this anymore, just someone please drive a knife trough my chest. This is unbearable HE CREADED A HTML PAGE INSIDE ANOTHER ONE flipping heck how could you think that's how things work!1
-
Today I watched "the birth and death of js":
https://destroyallsoftware.com/talk...
Here Gary Bernhardt talks about compiling executables to asm.js and about running the compiled files using a js interpreter that can be included in the kernel.
Eventually, some responsibility can be moved from the kernel to this interpreter, responsibility like virtual memory and trap management.
This speech aims to be fun, so not everything should be taken seriously...
but...
but...
(Forgive me)
...this trick seems to be a nice idea, and projects like Node OS work likewise.
So now, would you even consider this? Or is it just something that will be nothing more than craziness of a mad man?1 -
My new passion in life is to spend a whole morning trying to figure out why I can't create a thumbnail with node-imagemagick, only to discover that I forgot an 's' to the output directory.
FUCK. ME.2 -
My tablet that I had all my code for an app just took a shit out of no where it was never dropped not even a scratch it just went black and well never went back fuck my entire existence
8 -
Another reason to hate Java
It seems that Java is immune to OR 1=1, because of course, 1.0 is not the same as 1.0;
4 -
Background: I'm doing a migration from FileMaker to JavaFX
My PM asked me what was going to be the main page of the system and he gave me an ugly option, to which I answered with a dashboard example, so now he wants me to change everything so that our app looks like the one I showed him -
My God damn Terminal is not opening. I'm on Ubuntu 18.04, my gnome.terminal and nautilus stopped opening. Oh and I have two deadlines coming which is perfect21
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I'm going through my Udemy courses for the hell of it and see if I might even learn some things, started a course I knew would start of way too basic but Jesus Christ, 7 lectures for doing basic player movement and animation... Strap in boys, it's going to be a long ride
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Started making an Android app for the first time a few days ago and wanted a button in a fragment to trigger a function. Easy enough right? Well not for me...
-Thought if the button is in fragment_xyz.xml the function should be in xyz.kt right?
-Wrote the function and told the button to run it when clicked.
-Tested the button and the app crahsed.
-Spent 3+ hours trying to find the bug.
-Eh fuck it might as well copy paste it from the fragments file to the action the viewpager showing the fragment is on.
-Works perfectly fine first try.
-😑
I spent three fucking hours googling that and trying to debug that while I could have been doing so much more on ither parts of the app...
I mean at least I know now for the future? -
I tried to transfer some data off my mother's hard drive with several hundred gigabytes of photos and videos, which spanned most of her life.
I decided to format the hard drive I was copying the data to.
I formatted the wrong drive.6 -
Well, wasn't my mom, but once, i was in the house of the nanny of a girl i used to date..
I've told her that Im a developer and The nanny already got it like : "ok you know about cumputer and stuff related"..
So..the internet connection was shitty as fuck
She asked me to repair the internet,
I told her I didn´t know anything about network, but.. she insisted.
I said that she better call their internet company and they would explain what is the situation there..
She told me that It was unnecesary, and insisted again..
(We wera talking in the bedroom)
So i left the bedroom, then I went to fucking internet modem, unplug the power cable, then plugin it again..
The internet was still shitty, BUT, she had a placebo effect about the speed.. she was so happy with me and she started saying that I was smart.. (I wanted to kill myself)
we stop dating ..1 -
Last night I spent 2 hours trying to explain probability to a drunk poker player.
He refused to accept that if Player A and Player B are flipping coins and player A wins 9 coin flips in a row, player B should still treat flip #10 as a 50/50 chance and bet accordingly.
This is basic logic, and when I tried to explain it in terms of computers and code he said "of course a computer would win but I'm saying that 51% against anyone I would win, I've been doing this for 20 years"
My brain hurts.2 -
Started work on a language interpreter and all is going well, until I realise I still need to implement a way of reading and executing code blocks and work out if statements... Ah fuck...11
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When dogecoin went out, I was a little curious kid. I knew small to nothing about cryptocurrencies, so I started mining some for the lulz on my shitty laptop. Holy fuck no one was using and mining this shit, so I was earning 500-600 DC by night. I did it for a few weeks, let the miner running when I was at highschool.
I stopped after one month since its value was inferior to the used electricity cost.
From time to time, I remember about this story about a 70000+ dogecoins, and I instantly want to chop my balls off and put some super strength bleach on the wounds while slapping myself with spiky plants.
I lost the wallet.
1 -
"Go check out the EAGLE documentation so you know how to properly parse its generated xml files"
(The whole docs just says "sorry, no documentation" every fucking where, not just the part in the picture...)
3 -
For the past one week I have been getting late for work due to this fucking traffic. This shit sucks. And I am stuck solving shitty bugs in a fuckghetti code. I feel burnt out as fuck and now I have to work Saturday as well.
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My coworker pushed changes to almost all of our ASP.NET pages. However, he did so by pushing only his files, and when asked to merge, he overwrote all of our changes to those pages since he last pulled from the server, which was ages ago. We were three changesets past that overwrite before we noticed things we'd already fixed were gone. Had to revert, which we didn't know how to do, and we didn't know what he changed in his push, because he didn't comment on the changeset. He undid weeks of work, thankfully we only lost a few days worth over we reverted. We're going to have a quick lesson on merging correctly on Monday when we all get back10
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FUCK MY LIFE WHY CANT A RASPI BOOT FROM USB??! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A PROJECT FOR IT FOR THE LAST WEEK, SPENT NIGHTS LEARNING ELECTRONIC BASICS AND GUESS WHAT? THAT FUCKING RASPIAN ON MY MICRO SD CARD IS NOT BOOTING. AND I CANT REINSTALL IT BECAUSE I HAVENT GOT AN FUCKING ADAPTER FOR THIS SHIT. I HAVENT BEEN USING A MICRO SD FOR YEARS.
AND NOW I CANT TEST MY PROGRAM BECAUSE I NEED THE RASPIS GPIO PINS :(6 -
F*ck software updates..
So while working today, one of the IT support guy came and asked to update my windows machine due to some stupid company 'security policy' they were following .. That update took more than 3hrs.. The reason it took so long because I somehow managed to avoid any updates for 6-8 months.
But that is not the end of the story... Windows update was followed by a bios update, some softwares, and at this point I just gave up and went for a cup of coffee, and left my machine locked in a drawer still updating and it will stay in this condition until tomorrow.. We'll see if something breaks after updating.
F*ck why are there so many updates and why each of them requires a f*cking reboot...
Productivity today was less than the number of side projects I completed. 😪6 -
Me: *Building my own CSS and JS framework for static websites and testing it as i go while building my work site*
Inner me: Stop remaking the wheel, use MDL!
Me: *Starts sweating furiously*
Why must JS and CSS be so bloody horrible to build with from scratch, should I just use MDL and extend it with some custom classes or keep powering forward?6 -
I just had to spend 10 minutes of my life going through 674 lines of HTML code and deleting every font tag, with there being at least one font tag on every line.2
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After a week of working days of testing and development, the new feature finally finished. But my boss wasn't satisfied with the flow so he sent a revision.
After finished with revision, he still not satisfied with it and then sent another revision. This happened 3 times in a week after completing task before any revision and this week comes the fourth with some vague businesses flow. I feel like I don't have value anymore in this company.1 -
!rant
I love to work on my machine, and being it
my work-horse for school and side-projects, I have a neat dualboot of Windows 10 and (driver-related) Ubuntu Mate.
Ditched Mate because screen tearing, got Cinnamon, but I have to say, that W10 UI appeals a lot for me, so... what kind of Windows is this?
4 -
RAT. HOLE. FUCK.
The retrospective is not the time to develop features and designs. We have burnt 45 minutes of an already ludicrously long retro ( 3 hours ).
Too much coffee + this horse fucking shit is geeking me out. -
When you start a new job and you inherit a steaming pile of shit that NEEDS to integrate with a completely separate application but after repeatedly telling your manager his requests aren’t possible, he denies it and says it is possible.
Some context. They have an old application written in MVC. They want a new application written in react. They want all the old functionality to integrate with the new functionality. I don’t just mean render different views based on the route, I mean they want both applications to integrate seamlessly to create a new application. Not to mention this new application is completely different to the old one and has requirements that aren’t even compatible with the old application.
Also. I got into trouble today for completing the sprint in 2 days and starting on user stories (that were in the sprint, not the backlog). Apparently we’re not allowed to showcase the product until the sprint ends and we go through our retrospective/demo. LMAOOOO -
My biggest hurdle has been having to explain every aspect of development to every non-technical MD I work with because my is non-technical as well.
Just this morning I've had to explain WSGI, caching, nginx and why different browsers render things differently. -
There is no joy in life
So I finally managed to set up networking on my 3D printer's raspberry pi: now it can connect to my phone's hotspot or to my uni's wifi network, depending on which is available.
Then I set up OpenVPN, using a remote server as a middleman so I can connect to the printer remotely and start/stop/monitor prints from anywhere.
Everything works great, except for one thing: whenever the Pi connects to the uni's network first, OpenVPN fails to start and connect to my server, rendering the printer unavailable (unless I use an ethernet cable, but that's not a viable operation since I need to lift the printer, and it's heavy).
The only for it to work as intended is to either:
a) keep my hotspot active (which kinda defeats the point), or
b) let it connect to my hotspot first (so that OpenVPN can start properly) and then turn off the hotspot, allowing the printer to reconnect to the uni's wifi and reconnect to my vpn.
Why won't things just work the way they're supposed to? 😭10 -
"DataSource.Factory<Integer, Rv1data>"
>>"Error, Factory doesn't existt"
>> checked every tutorial on internet: twice.
>> rebuild the whole project: thrice
>> checked the xmls,activities,views,gradle: 4 times
>> thoughts of throwing my laptop : 5 times
.
.
.
checked the import modules:
>>imported javax.sql.DataSource instead of androidx.paging.DataSource
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU😡😡😡😡 -
I'm ok with almost every language.
But this "everything is a function" concept of JavaScript always give me that "kill me painless and quick" itch !!!#":":/#*%¢|°°
const fuuuuuuuuuck = require('fuckoff.js')1 -
TFW you put your local changes on a flash drive, drive 35 km away and notice that you forgot the drive. So you go back to get the drive the next day, take it and hightail it back. Then, the next day, you copy your changes over and are about to start developing when...
6 -
FUCK YOU MyThemeShop FUCK YOU with your shitty licensing solution. I'm just trying to develop a fucking wordpress site on my own fucking local computer. Why TF will you not allow me to fucking sign into my own account. all it fucking does is infinitely load and it does not do fucking anything. you advertise 24/7 support but it takes your fucking bitch ass support team over 10 hours to reply to my dead fucking simple email. ALSO why the fuck can I not change what domain my theme goes to from the online panel. I'm trying to fucking use ngrok and now i cant because it is by domain and not by site. FUCK YOU AND YOUR LAME ASS FUCKING COMPANY GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING BITCH.7
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Game development:
So I finally got a story. An actual fucking story! Anyways no development on the actual project. My computer just crashed recently so I'll be looking into issue if it can actually start up showing the screen and keyboard to get working again.
Oh and Im getting wifi tmr.4 -
So we are building and export function for a payment and we have to follow the bank's structure of payment, which is a txt file. (for example from position 10 to 20, you need to have empty characters)
This is what our experienced developer did. I have one week left in this company.
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Leetcode.
It doesn't matter if you've done multiple projects with different tools, languages, team sizes and requirements for ANY company / org etc.
You will feel fucking stupid while taking too long on some of these questions.
I know interview questions are mostly to test your critical thinking skills but fuck I feel so bad after 2 evenings of doing this shit.
It is addictive though...2 -
Senile Web login services from 2009 grind my gears, and tertiary education administration snorts the powder.
Trying to apply online at a local university. They didn't have place for me 3 years ago so I went elsewhere but for my 4th year I have to go to them.
Because of my previous application I still have a student number. Online application says I have to log in to another portal and apply there. Then that portal now requests a Pin that I was never sent, and the "request new pin" function doesn't work because apparently my email is not in the database for my ID. My email was 100000% sure on my application, but some dingus never inserted it into the system.
Why not just start a "new" application you ask? Because the New Applications portal won't allow it for my ID number since it has a student number already. Now I either have to apply manually and pay the fee or wrangle Uni staff to reset my account.
I'm calling you, your slapdash JavaScript 1.2 code and your unhelpful staff out, Cape Peninsula University of Technology. -
Two days ago on my linux partition python was being weird, and I couldn't fix it no matter what I tried. Logical option was to backup /home and then reinstall linux
Two days later I want to die, for whatever reason I can't properly boot from a live USB without getting "input/output error", and I've already erased my previous linux installation at this point.
Anyway, I still have windows, and I think that the problem might be faulty RAM (I get i/o errors with any live USB) so I booted into windows, let it do some updates and now I'm checking my memory
After this, I'm going to open up my PC and check that the RAM sticks are all in properly
9 -
The overwhelming annoyance when you figure out that the thing that's been causing your code issues for the past 3 hours....
Is because you did a greater than comparison rather than a great than or equal to...1 -
EOS is pissing me THE FUCK OFF. So is my drama teacher. Shit keeps crashing, she keeps deleting all my fucking work, and people REFUSE TO STAY STILL while I try and light them. For FUCKS SAKE!1
-
Alright so cool story about my idiocy and it’s relationship to Learning Ruby on Rails.
So I decided to start learning ruby and it takes a lot from python(idk which One came first correct me off I’m wrong)
The tutorial I started was using version 4.2 of rails or something and the latest version was 5.1 so me being a fucking idiot continued to install and learn plus I had to open 2 questions on stack exchange that could be solved with an apt-get install command and after 3 days of my understanding what the actual fuck was going on. I reinstalled Mint and got it working.
After JetBrains and sublime text and all my shit was off my NAS I started the tutorial again with everything installed correctly and quit at the 4 minute mark because my bundle install command didn’t work correctly still having trouble and I feel like I should just stick to HTML and CSS1 -
So remember when we said 1.1 would be the last release, and then we said that 1.2 would be the absolute last we promise this time release?
Well buckle up buckaroos because 1.3 will be the last release. -
This day is off to no good... :(
First l forget the ssh port to my mail server and now i realized that tomorrow is the last day the server is up. I need to add more credits but i literally have 2 cents on my bank account :(1 -
Oh here's a good one. When the managers realised one of our apps is a giant hunk of crap that wasnt thought through at all and was lazily thrown together, and their solution is "meh let's just rewrite it in Swift on our new platform. And those other guys can maintain the old one and continue to do hotfixes for it until we are done".
I've been telling them for the past year that its the worst codebase I have ever seen and the lack of tests is disgusting and not something we should dare to release to paying customers (especially when those customers work in healthcare!!!). The best part was when one of them promised we would all be working on the new shiny platform by Christmas. That was last year. And I'm currently the poor bugger doing the legacy maintenance and in the process of trying to get moved to a new project. So much for managers promises amirite... -
What the actual fuck, I installed lodash using "npm install --save lodash" and npm just decided to delete webpack and fuck up the webpack.dev.config.js and actually my whole project... I want to cry
Why the fuck is this fucking thing called npm falling apart at every opportunity it gets 😠1 -
Testing requirements, some of these are pretty specific such as 'don't do X before you compute Y'... OK, check that off
Now we have some independent analyst saying how can you prove 'X' isn't done... "Look at the source code we've provided"
"OK, but where in the source should I look [for something which isn't there]?" -
What fresh hell is this ??????
I lost my earbuds TWICE within 2 weeks !!!!
I swear I had em last night when I put em in pouch , and now I see only 1 earbud.
|-_-|-_-| FUCK MY LIFE |-_-|-_-|
Rent me an earbud or kill me, PLEASE
It saddens me to think I'll not fulfill my endorphins quota today :(
The only enjoyment I have in my life is gymming to heavy bass, the endorphins keep me alive, everything else in life is shit right now : unhappy job, stress from GRE prep, no gf, staying away from family1 -
Why do I always get attached to dead/dying platforms 😖😫😭
I mean, I got the PSP Go a mere year before devs dropped support. (Still awesome for emulation because of the physical buttons)
I was really interested in windows phone for a while that I almost bit the bullet and bought it.(you obviously know what happened to the beloved windows phone platform)
And now suddenly a blackberry passport video pops up on my YouTube recommended feed and now I really want one.
The problem is the lack of apps, I was hopeful because it supported android runtime.
Then my hopes were crushed after I knew that its based off KitKat.
Which means one of my favorite apps doesn't work there (my beloved termux, I get a boner whenever I think about using it with an actual keyboard 😂)
Should i just bite the bullet? I'm too broke and that 200$ is kinda of a major purchase for me (I'm 17 in a third world country, so the piggy bank is empty AF)
God, why do I always get introduced to platforms too late...
6 -
Supposedly 2 years professional experiencd junior - console.log ("how do you like figure out what data is being passed In and what it looks like? is there some special tool you use when you are trying to get the types or correct nomenclature for the reference?") Me "I just log it to the console or use fiddler. " how do I do that?1
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I have to test my App on a Samsung Galaxy Young 2. Can someone please shoot me?
It took over 3 minutes to install the APK and now it can't even get an IP from our AP. 😐4 -
My employer wants me to add wordpress blogs to a non-wordpress website..
the fux, is this even possible?4 -
I don't know why you expect your website to be done in a month when you can't even fucking decide what it should be.
I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND ASSHOLE.
Don't tell me that I did it wrong or it doesn't look right when you said that you wanted it like that.
I wasn't hired as a web developer, I've done high voltage electrical work, machinist work and repair of the shit you can't even take care of. All for 15usd a hour. If they don't keep their promise to bump the pay....1 -
Here's how my day's been going:
- decided to learn a quite popular JS framework
- installed with official installer
- used official tool to create an empty project
- ERROR! 20mins of debugging fixed it
- followed the getting started guide
- ANOTHER ERROR!
- "I must be doing something wrong"
- pulled the *official* demo project
- A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ERROR!
- "Fuck it! I'm making this from scratch"
(the framework is Meteor, btw. fuck Meteor)9 -
When your IDE is installed a so fucked-up way you have to launch it with root privileges for it to start, you can't manage to find a good Git GUI client, and you already wasted 3 hours trying to solve both problems without fixing anything... You know it's time for you to get the hell off your PC, cry out and get some sleep.21
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root@terminal:~
root@terminal:~# love
-bash: love: command not found
root@terminal:~# happiness
-bash: happiness: command not found
root@terminal:~# peace
-bash: peace: command not found
root@terminal:~# kill
-bash: you need to specify whom to kill
kill: usage: kill [-s sigspec | -n signum | -sigspec] pid | jobspec ... or kill -l [sigspec]
😈😈
Source: reddit -
My first job was through a technology "Graduate Training Program" at a large bank. We were sold on the job being told that there would be a month of corporate training before getting to work. You know, stuff like presentation skills and Myers Briggs and actual useful stuff. And yeah, they did have that for like two days of the month.
The rest was the most bullshit work to basically kiss-ass to upper management. Having to analyze their commercials and explain how amazing they were and why (they sucked). Explaining a portion of the business to upper management.. you know- the business they knew because they are executives in it- but it had to be "fun". We were stuck making board games and rap songs to these things to make an ass of ourselves in front of executives.
Then after that I was stuck working on VB6 programming with a Cobol mainframe backend. So fucking awful. -
Just spent a full fucking day working on a C binding for Vala to use GLFW as the main OpenGL entry point... Only to now discover that SDL has an already impimented OpenGL window class and allows for basic 2D operations...
Well that was time well fucking spent1 -
That fucking moment, when you choose wrong partition while installing Windows...
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...5 -
Trying to write a program a la `man` in ncurses and just, is this hell?
I just want a floating header, a scrollable main body that reads from a file, and a command line footer, why is that so difficult? I finally got it to handle resizing terminals but now I need to try to compile it for windows, which does have unofficial ports of ncurses, but I have no idea how to use them.
Should I just restrict the windows version to a non-interactive command instead of a TUI like I want?2 -
When you change the owner/group on the sudo file and now you can no longer run sudo and root has been sent #hopethisbackupworksandisquick
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Fuck oVirt!
Fuck OpenShift!
Fuck everything Red Hat made!
Yes, they make the hard stuff easy, but they make the easy stuff sooo unnecessarily difficult...2 -
Here’s to spending all of today debugging an issue that leads back to a 6,000 line AppDelegate in a project written with Objective-C
-
don't you just love it when you have to fix a system that consists on unnecessary junk code, horrible/lack of indentation, no documentation and the clients says "I don't know what happened fix it and I'll post you good"
I mean, I live for this shit man! -
When I work extra hours on weekends, so I can finally take a break from Microsoft Word and write some code for a change. It's going on for a second week now, if not longer 😢1
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I've had to update some 200 scanning devices on the only available computer old enough to still have the necessary connector. Over a serial connection that was so slow I could've probably written the firmware faster than updating it. It took me 14 hours to update all devices.
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"Well GPU main memory is L2. CPU main memory is L3. Which is why GPUs are so much faster." - cs major in my college.
Someone please confirm if this is a common opinion.2 -
After going through this stuff here https://github.com/google/grafika , Í really don't know how much noob I am...
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Guys!! I'm stuck with a problem in an android app. I want to display video on a VideoViewer. What I really want is to test the software, to see if it can run and display several formats.
The thing is: when I start to play the video file (.mp4 or .3gp) just appears a popup saying "Can't play this video". I don't know what to do. StackOverflow doesn't really help with this, nor any tutorial that I found on Google.
Any tips for a Android newbie? -
I know it doesn't really exist in one solution, but I need management software to keep track of customers (crm), projects, products, licensing and contracts, and time keeping. Right now we are using MSCRM (ugh), and old homebrew project/time tracker written in Perl spaghetti (double ugh), email (sigh) and handwritten notes (kill me). Now I suddenly find myself with a budget (somewhat) and the authority to actually fix things. Any ideas would be appreciated.
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That feeling when you accept a simple project and when you almost done the client requirements escalate quickly. *crying*
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