Fuck everything about Microsoft Dynamics. I'm supposed to use the REST API to make a web front-end. I notice all of the data comes back codified.

null == 0.
boolean true == 100000000
boolean false == 100000001

except sometimes when

boolean false == 100000000
boolean true == 100000001

or other times

string "Yes" == 100000000
string "No" == 100000001
string "Maybe" == 100000003

Hang on. Is the system representing a 1 bit value with base 10 numbers? Did the client set this up like this? Holy crap every number corresponds to a unique record in a table somewhere. That means it only returns numeric values instead of strings and I have to figure out what the number means in the context of the table.

A "key" is user typed? So every time someone starts to make a new record it saves a new "key" without a record? So I can pull a bunch of "0" records if I pull sequentially? So basically I need to see all of the data in Dynamics to have any context at all for what is returned from the Dynamics API? Fuuuuuuuuuu

For some reason, people like to show off their mostly-samey linux desktops.

Here's mine.

Got my first job as a sysadmin at 13 years old

We had recently a thread asking about our internet speeds, this seems relevant to most of what I've read in the comments so far.

I SWEAR IF I USE ANOTHER WEBSITE OR FUCKIGN WEBAPP THAT SCROLLS UP TO THE FUCKING TOP OF THE FUCKING PAGE OR AT ALL IM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT

Looks like Keybase now also has its own shitcoin. Isn't it about time for that cryptocurrency wank to end already? How many more BitconneeeEEEECT's do we need?

But but but.. this is the next big thing! It will go *stellar*!

Any tips on finding work? Recent programming graduate not finding anything.

(•_•)
<) )╯i
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( (> got
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(•_•)
<) )> promoted
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It used to be one of the best paying professions, so there is plenty of people who aren't meant to be software developers, but they tried to get money and now suck at it.
Now that standard of living increased by a lot there are other specialists that do not require this much education or talent (but still you need to be decent) and pay comparably or even more, because there is just so much demand for them if they are high quality (people wait for months). Those are mostly people who build, finish or otherwise improve houses and cars. Even unqualified labor got decent pay now, tho still about 1/3 of what average dev will make.

Well, my country aint very bright at least for me.

So you have few options, i will arrange them from generally percieved as shittiest place to best place.

You are student or whatever and work in small company. Thats where lot of people are stuck. Like me. Pay is... Sigh. When you hear dev can earn more than 1k$/mo its like "yes, yes, gimme, gimme". Forget about beeing just dev. If I left my company it would collapse within week, but bosses greed is insanity. Oh well.

Than you have that middleground that I would love to be in. Freelancing. Here freelancers can live really well if they can find contractors willing to pay for their services. Wuthin this space there is most profit but also that uncertanity. But its my goto.

Than you have miniscule group you **really** want to be in, medium companies writing software, usually b2b. Well, here you get often 2k$+ and bonuses for working your ass off etc, and benefits are minor but there is usually *something*

And than you have corporations. They often pay a lot, lot of benefits, but.... Its corporation, all ypu learned in small companies usually goes through the window, their expectations are high etc.

In my country everything is like everywhere else but pay is much less, especially in small company space, and somewhat smallish in medium company/corpo. Freelancers are least affected.

Devs in our country are people who will allways have a job. Because companies here need us more than we need them. That's why we have 2x(jr-mid), 3x, 4x (mid), 5x+ (sr) average earnings country-wide.

Job is good, perks are nice, hardware is awesome (idk when was the last time I worked with anything weaker than i7), internet is brilliant (one of the best in the world; I think we have recently lost the "best internet in the world" title recently to some other country). Companies are fighting over us, offering better salaries, better terms. I was even bold enough to list my terms in LinkedIn's summary section and still I am getting offers :D

Devs' life is awesome here :)

I’m a graphs designer, hardware expert, free software generator, marketing evangelist, networking wizard, and troubleshooter bot

Can you hack my ex's email/twitter/Instagram/Facebook/webcam/phone/...?

'Oh, so can you fix my printer?' 🖨️

There. I described it for the whole world. 🌍🌎🌏

50-60% are
Underpaid corporate slaves.

Depending on the company you get to work for you have 2 choices in Lithuania.
Either you're the outsourced developer (The pay is amazing, many benefits etc...)
Or you work in a company that is not multi-international, then either the pay is much lower, or they expect a lot and push you to the curb with tasks.

Being a developer in my country is great. We have Sam Adams fountains instead of water fountains everywhere, triple - double bacon and duck fat fried cheeseburgers with Twinkie buns, massive desktops that burn coal and dump pure toxicity into the atmosphere. We sit on chairs made from the carcasses of soon to be extinct animals, and instead of rubber ducks, we have majestic bald eagles screeching their encouragement as we pound out our buggy ass code. But we have the best bugs, don’t we folks?

It's actually great being a developer in South Africa, but it depends a lot on the company where you work.

"Oh you're a software developer? Can you install Photoshop on my computer?"

Company policies when it comes to hiring in Norway is super strict. Being a self-taught developer for over 10 years and I still can't even land an interview because I don't have a formal education. Though this might be because I don't live in the capital and don't have a lot of chances to apply to jobs

Germany

It's:
"oh cool. you must have good job perspectives."

Or:
"you just use a computer. that's not real work. do a job where you use your muscles. lazy student."

And the best:
"Can you gift me with computer parts for free" or "can you copy program XY for me? It cost to much."

Can you repair my TV that I bought in 1980s?

Iran:
Job offer ==>
We need full stack developer for Java, c#, python, angular, flutter, ..
Data mining experience
Project and team management experience for 7+ years

Salary is 500$ per month

PM measure workload by UI upgrades and careless abt backend, meaning you cant justify u were developing backend while there is no output.

Sweden:

De e gött.

It's nice.

1 - Please hack his/her facebook account for me.

2 - (at home) I used to block wifi access by mac filtering and if there's legit server down and wifi isn't working, everyone blames me.

(I am freelancer and mostly work from home)

3 - almost all of my relatives think I don't work.

4 - I am first choice for everyone's phone, PC and hardware repair.

This one is classic

GET A REAL JOB, you need to go out in the field for work.

“Please develop my complicated eCommerce website. The cost should be somewhere between $0 and $100 because I can do it with a template in Wix or SquareSpace or hire a bot non-person from Fiverr to do it for me if you don’t honor the price I’m asking.”

—United States

People want AI,ML, Blockchain implementation in their projects very badly and blindly and expect developer to just get it done no matter how stupid something sounds.

--India

When they knew that you have IT/CS majors:

Others: "Can you hack my GF/BF facebook account?"
Me: 🙄

Every single time! 😑

Overall, pretty good actually compared to the alternatives, which is why there's so much competition for dev jobs.

On the nastier end of things you have the outsourcing pools, companies which regularly try to outbid each other to get a contract from an external (usually foreign) company at the lowest price possible. These folks are underpaid and overworked with absolutely terrible work culture, but there are many, many worse things they could be doing in terms of effort vs monetary return (personal experience: equally experienced animator has more work and is paid less). And forget everything about focus on quality and personal development, these companies are here to make quick money by just somehow doing what the client wants, I'm guessing quite a few of you have experienced that :p

Startups are a mixed bag, like they are pretty much everywhere in the world. You have the income tax fronts which have zero work, the slave driver bossman ones, the dumpster fires; but also really good ones with secure funding, nice management, and cool work culture (and cool work, some of my friends work at robotics startups and they do some pretty heavy shit).

Government agencies are also a mixed bag, they're secure with low-ish pay but usually don't have much or very exciting work, and the stuff they turn out is usually sub-par because of bad management and no drive from higher-ups.

Big corporates are pretty cool, they pay very well, have meaningful(?) work, and good work culture, and they're better managed in general than the other categories. A lot of people aim for these because of the pay, stability, networking, and resume building. Some people also use them as stepping stones to apply for courses abroad.

Research work is pretty disappointing overall, the projects here usually lack some combination of funding, facilities, and ambition; but occasionally you come across people doing really cool stuff so eh.

There's a fair amount of competition for all of these categories, so students spend an inordinate amount of time on stuff like competitive programming which a lot of companies use for hiring because of the volume of candidates.

All this is from my experience and my friends', YMMV.