AboutI write code, sometimes I test it but usually I don't.
Joined devRant on 12/21/2020
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Last week my company thought it would be a great idea to introduce a new sh*tty internal web portal that gives federated access to aws (instead of using our own accounts to assume dev roles like we used to do).
This broke a lot of sh*t that simply used to ask for an MFA token and used our practically permissionless accounts to assume a proper dev role. An MFA token that we'd enter directly into the terminal/tool. It was very seamless. But nooooooo we now have to go a webpage, login with sso (which also requires mfa), click "generate credentials," copy-paste those into terminal/creds file and _then_ continue our aws cli call. Every. Single. Day.
BUT TODAY I HAD ENOUGH.
I spent the entire day rewriting the auth part of our tools so they would basically read the cookie that's set by the web portal, and use it to call the internal api that generates the credentials, and just automatically save those. Now all we need to do is log into the portal, then return to the tool and voilà, the tool's also got access! Sure, it's not as passive as just entering an MFA token directly, but it's as passive as it gets. Still annoyed by this sh*tty and unnecessary portal, but I learned a thing or two about cookies.4
Me: You didn't squash that PR into develop....
Them: There was no option to squash...
Make your cookies banner have equal "Accept All" and "Reject All" buttons, and I'll probably Accept All.
Bury rejection under a fucking "Manage Cookies" button and I will go out of my way to disable/opt out of every fucking one of them.
Also why the fuck would rejecting all take "a few minutes" but accepting be instantaneous?
A follow up on my HSBC credit increase rejection rant from last month. So they ended up saying "we chose not to give you an increase even though your account is very good. Feel free to try again in 3-6 months but I can't guarantee your request will be approved."
I let it be.
Today I got an email saying that following a recent review of my account, they'd like to offer me an increase. The same increase I asked for last month and got rejected, and then had my credit score ruined over. Bitch what.
I am petty af, tomorrow I'll call them and tell them that "after having reviewed their services, I choose not to give them consent to increase my credit limit. I understand this isn't the outcome they were hoping for, but that is my decision. Feel free to reach out again in 3-6 months but I can't guarantee that I'll change my mind. "
Yes I know the rep on the other end of the line wouldn't give a f*ck, I just want that recorded. I don't really need the increase, just wanted to lower my utilisation. They can suck it.2
Everyone be like "I started programming at the age of 2 and my first ever spoken words were “for...each”".
We get it, child prodigy.
Don't mind me I'm just salty that I only discovered programming after taking the wrong course at uni which coincidentally had an extraneous Fortran module.17
Sometimes I genuinely wonder what the thought process of some people is...
git checks out feature-X branch
git creates new branch off of it to work on something that has absolutely nothing to do with feature X
then opens a PR back into feature-X
Me: this has nothing to do with feature X.. i think you meant to branch off of develop and PR back into develop, no?
Them: no it was intentional .. feature-X will eventually end up on develop so I thought we'd get both features on develop.
I'm not even mad and this isn't a rant, I'm just really confused 🙂4
HSBC rejected my request to have my credit card limit increased. I call to ask why and after 38 minutes of holding she comes back and says the system automatically rejected your request because of "poor account conduct" and "unusual activity.".....
w h a t t h e F U C K does that mean???
She was unhelpful in explaining what that meant, and I'm honestly baffled. I've always paid my cc balance in full every month, never went over my limit (in fact, utilisation was almost always below 30%), always had enough balance in my account to cover any Direct Debits, Standing Orders and other purchases (I don't even have overdraft), and my credit score is practically excellent.
Then she proceeds to say that I can try applying again in 3-6 months but she can't guarantee approval. HAH as if. They can suck it.
I moved away from Lloyd's bank because they were shit, and now this. Are all banks this shit?
I sent them a complaint and they said they'd get back to me in 5 working days... let's see.12
Not a rant but I spent 30 minutes writing a fix for 2 integration tests while screen sharing. Ran the tests and they both pass first try, no exceptions, typos or silly mistakes. 2 additional unrelated tests also started passing. It felt good.2
Finally made my node production server stable enough that I could focus on writing tests*. I start by setting up docker, mocking cognito, preparing the database and everything. Reading up on Node test suites and following a short tut to set up my first unit test. Didn't go smoothly, but it's local and there are no deadlines so who cares. 4 days later, first assert.equal(1+1, 2) passes and I'm happy.
I start writing all sorts of tests, installing everything required into "devDependancies," and getting the joy of having some tests pass on first try with all asserts set up, feels good!
I decide to make a small update to production, so I add a test, run and see it fail, implement the feature, re-run and, it passes!
I push the feature to develop, test it, and it works as intended. Merge that to master and subsequently to one of my ec2 production servers**, and lo and behold, production server is on a bootloop claiming it "Cannot find module `graphql`". But how? I didn't change any production dependencies, and my package lock json is committed so wth?
I google the issue, but can't find anything relevant. The only thing that I could guess was that some dependencies (including graphql) were referenced*** in both, prod and dev, and were omitted when installed on a prod NODE_ENV, but googling that specific issue yielded no results, and I would have thought npm would be clever enough to see that and would always install those dependencies (spoiler: it didn't for me).
With reduced production capacity (having one server down) I decided to npm uninstall all dev dependencies anyway and see what happens. Aaaaand it works.....
So now I have a working production server, but broken local tests, and I'm not sure why npm is behaving like this...
* Yes I see the irony.
** No staging because $$$, also this is a personal project.
*** I am not directly referencing the same thing twice, it's probably a subdependency somewhere.2