correctly named devices

When none of your stuff is working properly and everyone keeps coming over to bug you

Me and my senior used to do doodle in papers whenever we get stuck in some code problems or having free time. It always has been our way to relax our mind kind of meditation.

One day our boss saw our doodle work. He asked us to do doodle in office wall. So far this has been our progress.

What only relying on JavaScript for HTML form input validation looks like

Stumbled upon this old gold on reddit. If I tell you that my monitor is now not covered in accidentally spat out espresso, I'd be lying. 😂😂😂

So my landlord just came up and asked why I'm using so much bandwidth (they've just had a new line installed so they're monitoring it like hell for some reason) so we had a chat, I told him I'm a Web Developer so I'm uploading and downloading a load, and bare in mind this is student housing, he offered to install a wired connection in my flat only so I'll have a decent and stable connection when all the other students come back in September.

This is the first time in my life I feel like I'm not paying enough rent!

I don't work on bugs. Instead I improve the usability of undocumented features.

Once upon a time as a developer for Palm handhelds I wrote an application in C which had to print via a Bluetooth printer.
When connected by wire everything was perfect, switching to BT it kept crashing for weeks without me finding the source of the problem.
Then came the day of my companies summer party. I've been the last guy to sit in front of the PC, investigating my problem, when at about 9 PM my boss came and told me, I should grab something to eat. So I went down, drank three beer and got back to work.
At about 9:45 PM the damn wrong * was replaced by the correct & and everything was fine.

PointerIssuesSolvedByBeer++;

Near future

Finding this buried as a joke...

Don't tell me how to live my life!

"I know more coding" - Friend

Attached image is one of his "websites" that he put up for download

I named a project kraken so that when It's ready I'll release the kraken :D

when you are a newbie on devRant and get flak for reposting something unknowingly

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.

When you have tons of of work to do but all you can think about is a cool personal project...

I'm sorry I know this isn't related in any way to deving but honestly I am shitting a brick over this referendum, I am fairly fucked if we leave

anyone else feel bullied when they put something on stack overflow for help
I'm just learning C++ for internship and they're so harsh and make me feel stupid :(

It's a perfect chronological sequence from left to right:
"I'll fix this bug in a jiffy"
"Fml i can't figure out whats wrong"
"I give up on life"
and then finally "Oh look, missing semicolon"

Pic taken at a Starbucks in MountainView CA

A couple of weeks ago I posted about me making my own reclaimed desk, after a long process of sanding and oiling constantly here is the finished product and I couldn't be happier

Might be for the best sometimes...

A couple of weeks back, I met some of the kids from my old school. They had joined together to form a small team and were designing and deploying websites for local businesses.

Turns out that they were mailing each other and using Dropbox to manage the source code. This had been going on nearly for an year.

I spent a couple of hours showing them how to use git and gitlab. Basics on committing, pushing, pulling, branching and merging.

I will never forget the look on their faces! They had seen God and its name is Git.

Just don't!

"You guys are taking to long. can't you just copy and paste some code and complete the website?"

Literally fuming right now.

Scrum Meeting
PM: What did you do yesterday?
Me: Tried to come up with a funny post on DevRant.
PM: Wait... So you didn't write any code?
Me: Oh yeah of course I did! I came up with algorithm that grabs the highest rated rants and compares them to determine the best time of day I should post said rant, to get the best possible amount of up votes.

Where is your God now?

That moment when your open issues list no longer scrolls... pure bliss.

How did this date format ever get past code review.

And, the other side, husbands 😂
——————————————————–
Dear Technical Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. The new program also began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

——————————————————–

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: ” C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

That moment when your non dev friends are talking about V8 engine, and it takes you a few moments to realize they are talking about cars.