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Search - "me irl"
Friend: "What is devRant?"
Me: "A place where programmers tell jokes and complain."
Friend: "Why dont you just do that irl?"
Me: "Because we never test in production"15
So, since I hear from a lot of people (on here and irl) that Linux has a 'very high learning curve', let me share my experiences with the first time my dad touched Linux (Elementary OS) without me interfering at all! (keep in mind that he is very a-technical)
*le me boots the system* (I already did setup a user account for him and gave him the password).
Dad: *enters password and presses enter*
Me: "Hmm that went faster than expected."
Dad: "Uhm I know how to login son, it's not that hard and pretty obvious".
Me: "Alright, why don't you try to open up the default word documents editor on here! I'll be right back!"
Me: *Goes away and returns after a minute*.
Dad: *already a few test sentences typed in LibreOffice writer* it's going pretty well :)!
Me: "Oo how did you find that?!"
Dad: "Well, there's a thingy that says 'applications' so I clicked in and found it in the "Office" section, do you think I am blind or something?!"
Me: 😐. uhm no but I just didn't think you'd find it that quickly. Now try to install Chromium browser! *thinking: he'll fail this one for sure* I'll be right back :).
Me: *returns again after a minute or so*
Dad: *already searching for stuff through Chromium*
Me: "wait, how the hell did you do that so quickly, it's not the easiest thingy for most people".
Dad: "Jesus, it's not that hard! I went to the application browsing thingy, typed 'software' and then a sorta software store icon showed up so I clicked it and it opened a windows with a search bar saying something like 'search for applications/software'. clicked in it, typed 'chromium', saw it coming up, there was a very clear 'install' button, it asked for my password, I put it in and after a little it gave a notification that it was installed. Then I went to that application browsing thingy again and typed Chromium. Then I hit enter because it selected an icon called chromium...."
Me: O.o. Okay this is going very good, now open an email client and login to your email address!
Dad: *goes to application browsing thingy, types 'email', evolution icon shows up, dad clicks it, email address setup steps show up and dad follows them quickly. After about a minute, everything is setup.
I expected this to be a hard process for someone who dealt with Windows his entire life but damn, I underestimated it.
Asked him if he found it easy/what he liked about it:
"Well, it's very clear where I can find everything, default browser/email/word document editor programs are easy to find and that's about all I need so yeah, great system!"
I am proud of you, dad!77
So I recently bought my first house (yay!).
Whilst doing the initial viewings I saw the below on the backyard and thought "hey that's neat, I can leave a key in there for when I come in late and my fiancée is asleep.
Fast forward to moving in day and the previous owners hand me the keys so I ask "oh yeah, what's the code for the keysafe" and he just looks at me completely blank, so I'm just like "the box on the wall out back" and he's just like "oh! So that's what that is. No we've never had the code for that, bye."
Being a pen tester I'm just stood there dumbfounded thinking "How the hell can you have a locked box attached to your house and not want to know what is inside!"
Anyway, that brings us to now where I'm stood outside in December on a Sunday morning brute forcing my way into my own keysafe.
I wish this didn't run so many parallels with my work life 😂55
For people who think/find that open source solutions are always better than commercial/paid/proprietary ones, you are not going to like this rant.
I'm starting to get really fucking fed up with people always, whenever I see someone (including myself) mentioning that an open source solution which is an alternative to a closed source one, saying that it's shit.
I've had countless encounters on here (also irl) where someone mentions that an open source solution (GIMP or Libre Office for example) is shit by default while they've maybe (or probably?) not even used it themselves.
Also people going "you can't even compare those two as for what they can do/features/functions". I'm definitely not saying that those open solutions are perfect. But to call them worthless or shit and/or to say that you literally 'cannot compare them' or that the open solution just doesn't work as a *FACT* is fucking bullshit.
Let's take GIMP for example, the use case of a friend of mine:
- He works both with macOS and Linux Mint, he *needs* a design/photo editing tool which is cross platform. (or at least one which works on macOS+Linux)
- He does not mind paying for software but he prefers to use software which is free as in freedom because he also likes to tinker with the software (a lot of people find this argument bullshit, I noticed on here. Why is that? It's a valid reason. Maybe not for you but we're not talking about you right now).
- He likes Photoshop but due to Linux incompatibility and the fact that he can't tinker around with the code, it's not an option for him.
- He'd gladly go for paid software but GIMP fills all his design/photo editing needs (also the more advanced ones but don't ask them to me because I have no fucking clue how that shit works)
- GIMP *just works* for him, he never has trouble with it.
Let's take Libre Office, my own use case:
- It *NEEDS* to work on Linux, which Libre does.
- It *HAS* to be open source, ethic/moral thingy; Libre Office is open source.
- It doesn't need to work complete magic but it needs proper basic document and 'excel' sheet functionalities which is the case with Libre and it works *for me*.
- I don't mind paying for it, will probably donate in the future (seeding the macOS+windows+linux versions fulltime at the moment)
See, for our use cases, it works very well. So why go into "it's no match for proprietary alternatives" mode right away? It actually is, as you see in the examples above.
Please stop saying that those solutions *don't work* or *are shit* because they do work and are useful for me and loads of people around the world.
Do they have *ALL* the features which their proprietary alternatives have? Maybe, maybe not, maybe they're missing some and maybe they even have some features which the proprietary alternatives don't have, I haven't checked out every feature.
I'm not saying that it works for you, for the record, I'm just saying that just because for you it is a fact that they're bad/shit/hardly working, doesn't mean they are for others.22
Got my front end friend (also my irl best friend) to agree on me setting up a vm/vps on one of my dedi's with a sub domain so he can learn to work with servers.
He agreed on me leaving root access for myself in case he couldn't figure something out and I (a Linux server engineer myself) would have to help him out.
He seemed so excited, will set this up when I get home 😊7
Well, this has been one hell of an awesome ride already. I’m at 70K+ and the biggest ranter as for reputation (those upvote thingies). Although I don’t care about being the biggest one currently, I do take pride in it but I’ll get back to that one later on. (I’ll very likely lose the first place at some point but oh well, couldn’t care less :))
I joined back in May last year through an article I found on https://fossbytes.com (thanks a bunch!), joined and was immediately addicted. The community was still very tiny back then and I’ve got to say that getting upvotes was also not the easiest :P. But, I finally found a place where I could rant out my dev related frustrations: awesomeness. I very much remember how, at first, reaching 1K was my biggest devRant dream and it seemed to be freaking impossible. Then I reached 1K and that was such a big achievement for me! Then the ‘dream’ (read these kind of dreams (upvotes ones) as things that would be awesome to reach not just for the upvotes but for participating, commenting, ranting, discussing and so on within the community, so as in, it shows your contribution) became 10K which seemed even more impossible. Then I reached 10K and 20K seemed freaking impossible but I got there a little faster and from that point on it’s been going fast as hell!
It’s always been a dream for me to become a very big but also ‘respected’ or especially well known user/person somewhere because that pretty much never happened and well, having dreams isn’t wrong, is it?
The biggest part of that dream, though, was that it would be a passion of mine that would get me there but except for Linux, the online privacy part was something I always deemed to be ‘just impossible’. This because irl I ALWAYS get (it’s getting less though) ridiculed for being so keen on my privacy and teaching others about it. People find me very paranoid right away but the thing is that if they ask me to explain and I actually present evidence for my claims, it’s waved away as if it’s nothing. (think mass surveillance, prism, encrypted services, data breaches and so on)
I never thought I’d find any other people who would have the same views as I do but fucking hell, I found them within this community!
Especially the fact that I’ve grown this much because of my passion is something I am proud of. It’s also awesome to see that I’m not the only one who thinks like this and that I’ve actually find some of you on here :)
So yeah, thanks to everyone who got me where I am now!
Also a big thanks to sir Dfox and Trogus for putting your free time into making this place happen.
Love you peoples <3 and to anyone ‘close’ on here I forgot, if you match any of the comments as for privacy/friendliness etc, don’t worry, those nice things also apply to you! My memory just sucks :/
P.S. Please do NOT comment before I comment that I’m done with commenting because I’ve got a lot of comments coming :D61
Apple has programmed an avatar maker in iMessage that generates emoji that are supposed to resemble the person. However it does not have any setting for facial structure to represent a person’s sex. I’m pretty sure they did it because “gender is a construct”.
When I was growing up I had some issues with gender dysphoria. I am male genetically. I was mistaken as female my whole childhood because I was “pretty”, my best friends were girls, and I liked cooking, drawing, and dancing. Puberty happened and I started to look like a man. I considered transitioning because I felt female but I decided to let my body do what it wants and do the things I like to do without worrying about if they are gendered or not. I am married and male and I like what I like.
This stupid iMessage avatar. I have tried my hardest to make it look like me. I have long hair and keep my facial hair clean. They don’t have a switch to change some facial physiological traits so I have this Memoji that looks like a woman with a slight hormonal imbalance. It makes me feel conflicted like I felt when I was young. I haven’t thought about it in years and now I feel like I have an uncomfortable secret female avatar that i carry around on my phone and I feel like I’m carrying a secret.
A persons genetics result in differences in facial structures. Biological sex is more than the length of hair and whether a person wears makeup. I hate this “sex is a construct” trend. I’m fine living my life, but then companies push this software onto my phone like propaganda. I want it to look as masculine as I look IRL.19
> be me
> create profile in dating app because pandemic rules make meeting people at irl events impossible
> match with cute girl
> start to talk about interesting stuff
> mention being a software developer
> her: 'pls help me I have a not activated windows 10 on my laptop and can't do stuff since the last update'
Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.
Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.
Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to
Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission
Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.
Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)5
FUCK OFF!! JUST. FUCK. OFF.
I've been studying for around 4 hours and my roommate just asked me "why do you take so much time to study? Reading through it twice should be more than enough"
Simply reading trough it twice he said. MOTHERFUCK I'M NOT EVEN DONE READING THIS SHIT, THAT I'LL NEVER APPLY IRL, ONCE AND I AM NOT A KIND OF GENIUS THAT REMEMBERS EVERY DAMN DATA OK BY READING SHIT TWICE LIKE YOU. PUT YOURSELF IN MY DAMN POSITION YOU INSENSITIVE FUCK4
I apparently got home drunk last night and watched half an hour of a talk on optimizing compression for web applications.
Now I'm caressing a slight hangover with coffee and watching the rest of it.1
Who the fuck donated 3 USD to my Ko-fi
who are you
why did you donate to a useless person
why do you make me hunt you irl
If I ever deleted some of my rants (most likely one of the deleted ones will be the first one) it's because people from SL and IRL are starting to find me. Lol.
I'm not deleting anything yet tho.2
This might be the most ambitious project I've ever started up till now, teaching my girlfriend everything college isn't.
As some of you may know my uni isn't the greatest and lacks in professor quality, my girlfriend (who's taking the same bachelor) knows this and when she knew I was starting a new little side project she wanted in.
At first I was skeptical, this could be just an excuse to spend more time with me, so I told her:
"if you really want to then I'm all for it, it'll be done my way and the first few weeks will be tough, however I promise by the end of it you will know 10x what you do now"
She agreed and so our journey began 3 weeks ago, my goal: make a kick ass project, do it in record time and teach her enough to cope with a IRL job.
I've setup the project so by the end of it she is well versed in the following: scrum, Django, MVC, python, HTML + CSS3, git, GitHub, PostgreSQL and Docker. In about 4 to 6 months.
We are into our third sprint this week, she had two small breakdowns because she couldn't believe how much she was missing out and felt she lacked talent, this is our third week and I'm glad to see that she's actually enjoying herself.2
Hey, I had a question. How social are you all IRL?
I'll explain myself. IRL, I don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me (which I don't seek) for example. And regarding friends, I've never had more than one "buddy" each school year, unconsciously dropping them once we weren't linked by school anymore. There is only two people I have kept throughout the years and that I'd call friends, one of them is my girlfriend.
That being said, I know I'm especially asocial, but I'm curious how everyone is here :)
We often hear "Computer people don't have many friends blabla" but I'm curious about that ^^29
Mate - whatcha doing ...
Me - oh just hacking nasa
Mate - seriously!? 😯😨
Me - OOOOh yeah I do it all the time see (shows similar photo)
Mate - don't hack me 😭
Me (in head) - you poor dumb fuck...
Me irl - I won't if you don't piss me off 😏9
I spent over a decade of my life working with Ada. I've spent almost the same amount of time working with C# and VisualBasic. And I've spent almost six years now with F#. I consider all of these great languages for various reasons, each with their respective problems. As these are mostly mature languages some of the problems were only knowable in hindsight. But Ada was always sort of my baby. I don't really mind extra typing, as at least what I do, reading happens much more than writing, and tab completion has most things only being 3-4 key presses irl. But I'm no zealot, and have been fully aware of deficiencies in the language, just like any language would have. I've had similar feelings of all languages I've worked with, and the .NET/C#/VB/F# guys are excellent with taking suggestions and feedback.
This is not the case with Ada, and this will be my story, since I've no longer decided anonymity is necessary.
First few years learning the language I did what anyone does: you write shit that already exists just to learn. Kept refining it over time, sometimes needing to do entire rewrites. Eventually a few of these wound up being good. Not novel, just good stuff that already existed. Outperforming the leading Ada company in benchmarks kind of good. At the time I was really gung-ho about the language. Would have loved to make Ada development a career. Eventually build up enough of this, as well as a working, but very bad performing compiler, and decide to try to apply for a job at this company. I wasn't worried about the quality of the compiler, as anyone who's seriously worked with Ada knows, the language is remarkably complex with some bizarre rules in dark corners, so a compiler which passes the standards test indicates a very intimate knowledge of the language few can attest to.
I get told they didn't think I would be a good fit for the job, and that they didn't think I should be doing development.
A few months of rapid cycling between hatred and self loathing passes, and then a suicide attempt. I've got past problems which contributed more so than the actual job denial.
So I get better and start working even harder on my shit. Get the performance of my stuff up even better. Don't bother even trying to fix up the compiler, and start researching about text parsing. Do tons of small programs to test things, and wind up learning a lot. I'm starting to notice a lot of languages really surpassing Ada in _quality of life_, with things package managers and repositories for those, as well as social media presence and exhaustive tutorials from the community.
At the time I didn't really get programming language specific package managers (I do now), but I still brought this up to the community. Don't do that. They don't like new ideas. Odd for a language which at the time was so innovative. But social media presence did eventually happen with a Twitter account that is most definitely run by a specific Ada company masquerading as a general Ada advocate. It did occasionally draw interest to neat things from the community, so that's cool.
Since I've been using both VisualStudio and an IDE this Ada company provides, I saw a very jarring quality difference over the years. I'm not gonna say VS is perfect, it's not. But this piece of shit made VS look like a polished streamlined bug free race car designed by expert UX people. It. Was. Bad. Very little features, with little added over the years. Fast forwarding several years, I can find about ten bugs in five minutes each update, and I can't find bugs in the video games I play, so I'm no bug finder. It's just that bad. This from a company providing software for "highly reliable systems"...
So I decide to take a crack at writing an editor extension for VS Code, which I had never even used. It actually went well, and as of this writing it has over 24k downloads, and I've received some great comments from some people over on Twitter about how detailed the highlighting is. Plenty of bespoke advertising the entire time in development, of course.
Never a single word from the community about me.
Around this time I had also started a YouTube channel to provide educational content about the language, since there's very little, except large textbooks which aren't right for everyone. Now keep in mind I had written a compiler which at least was passing the language standards test, so I definitely know the language very well. This is a standard the programmers at these companies will admit very few people understand. YouTube channel met with hate from the community, and overwhelming thanks from newcomers. Never a shout out from the "community" Twitter account. The hate went as far as things like how nothing I say should be listened to because I'm a degenerate Irishman, to things like how the world would have been a better place if I was successful in killing myself (I don't talk much about my mental illness, but it shows up).
I'm strictly a .NET developer now. All code ported.6
Am I the only one who can't take the IT nonsense in TV SERIES (especially crime series) anymore? ANY UI shown on an arbitrary screen looks like garbage! And in addition to the f*cked up screen designs, every damn action of course makes weird beep noises, which would be totally annoying after like 3 secs IRL. How the heck are we supposed to take such BS seriously? This totally destroys so many TV series for me!
(Also, I have to explain to my wife why I'm laughing all the time! :p)10
I don't even care about getting upvotes with rage rants. It's just very nice to have a place where I can out all my rage and anger and where people actually understand me instead of staring at me like 'woah, calm down'. I feel like I'm actually understood here, something I don't often have irl. This is why I f*cking love devRant.1
Allright, this one begs for a rant.
Me (Linux boi):
0 checkout code
1 update local config file
3 deploy locally
Coleague (Windows boi):
0 checkout code
1 update local config file
3 deploy locally
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
→ goto #3
After 4 attempts:
3 deploy locally
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
3 deploy locally
// out of curiosity...
3 deploy locally
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
NO side actions taken (no configs updated, no code changes made, no nothing. Just simple double-clicking the redeploy script again and again)
Now... How do you objectively explain THAT?
http://weknowmemes.com/2013/01/... IRL :)8
The Cloud Of Bullshit
Every day I wake, and I think of my one true mission in life. To mock and ridicule paint huffing idiots. Something recently that drew my ire, like the hemorrhoids on my ass is this idea of 'the cloud', THE CLOUD and the buzzword lingo-bingo bullshit that providers use to hype and sell it.
For example, airtable is an amazing service. I love that I can insert just about anything into a row, create any of my own row datatypes, that it's flexible as all hell.
I love it.
And I hate that I'm essentially locked in to the cloud.
I fucking hate how if my internet goes down (thanks you pie eating inbred dipshits at comcast) I have no access.
If the company is bought, they'll shut down like all the rest , to be "relaunched at a later time" (or never).
I hate that if the company doesn't make enough money, or it's investors change their mind, woopsie, service is shut down.
I hate that the cloud is synonymous with massive data leaks and IOT-levels of stupidity in security practices.
Every time someone says "but its in the cloud! Isn't it amazing!"
I always think 1. YEAH IF IM AN INVESTOR I GET TO MILK LOW BROW FINGER PAINTING FUCKWITS EVERY MONTH like Adobe sucking the blood from infants who are still in college.
2. Why? So I can get locked into their platform, have them segment off previously free features (fucking youtube and the 'subscribe so you can continue playing audio with your screen off' bullshit), and then have fees increase month over month?
3. Why, so every four years during the presidential selection, if I piss off some fuckstick braindead lemming literally sucking his girlfriends BFs cock, they can potentially shut me out from my own data completely?
The Cloud is built on shit-colored hype sold to knob gobbling idiots, controlling idiots, profiting at the expense of idiots, and later fucking them for buyout payola. The Cloud is a Cloud of Bullshit shat out by huckster messiahs straight into the lapping mouths of fanatics worshiping slavishly like toilet drinking scum at the porcelain alter of a neon god, invisible, untouchable, and like a spigot, easily shut off without anyone noticing. And when it happens, I'll be there, shouting "WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD NOW?"
Native any day. 100% native or I don't fucking want it
None of this node.js-gone-native bullshit either with notetaking apps taking up hundreds of megabytes of ram, where everything is bootstrap or react, in a browser, in a window container, because people are so fucking incompetent we have to hold their hand WHILE they give themselves a reach around.
Native or nothing.
For my favorite notetaking app, I use Microsoft OneNote. "OH god, a heathen, quick, stick his body up on a stake!"
But hear me out. I'll be the first one in a crowd to kick bill gates in the nuts (not because I particularly hate microsoft, just because I think hes kind of a cunt).
So when I say onenote is good, I really fucking mean it. Sure they did some cunty things like 'dumbed down' the interface, and cut out some options. But you know what they can't do?
Shut down the damn service (short of a system update completely removing the whole app, which, frankly, wouldn't surprise me).
It's so god damn good it waxed my balls, cured my cancer, fixed my relationship with my father, found my long lost brother, and replaced ALL my irl notebooks.
It's so good that if it was cocaine I'd be hospitalized for overusing it.
So god damn good it didn't just replace all my notebooks, it even replaced and sped up my mockup process three to five times. Want layers?
Built in. Just drag an image on to the notebook to import instantly.
Want to rearrange layers? Right click select "send forward/back/bring to front/send to back".
Everything snaps to grid by default and is easily resizeable.
I had all the elements for a UI sliced and diced. Wanted to try a bunch of layouts. Was gonna take me two damn days.
Did it in three hours with the notebook features of onenote.
After I started using onenote, me and my bodypillow finally conceived even.
Sweet marries mammaries I just fucking jizzed. Thank you onenote.
P.s. It really did speed up my UI design, allows annotated images, highlighted text. Shit, it can even do kanban.
And all I can think is "good job microsoft making an awesome product for free, being dumb as fuck for not charging for it, and then not marketing it at ALL."
It was sheer fucking luck that I discovered it while was I was looking for vendor STD bloatware to blast off my new install.
OneNote: Worth a try even for the kick-gates-in-the-nuts fan club.
The cloud can suck my balls.18
"why do you like computers more than women" was a question my dad asked me today. that was a fucking curveball lemme tell ya
turns out my dad thinks i'm sexually attracted to computers as i don't flirt with women nor do I date.
I don't have a car, I don't have money, I like an hour from town, I have no charisma and I look like an unevenly-melted candle someone dropped into a bag of shaved 5 o'clock stubble. Of course I don't talk to people IRL.5
Prestory and afterstory:
Today I have slept for around <2 hours and had to drive to my college.
The real shit happens right now.
During these almost 2 hours, I have dreamed about going back in time, but being limited on the same day's hours.
In other words... It was e.g. 16 o'clock and the time travelled back into the past. Like into a "0830 ish" morning. The day would then come to an end and start with the next day. For example from Monday to Tuesday.
I was able to look into the future whenever I wanted to.
Even though I was driving my car in the first gear, it would drive into the reverse direction.
Time suddently switches direction and everything is going as it should be. Greeting people in the streets as I would do normally.
And all of the sudden time decides to switch its direction again and I have to do things in reverse.
At some point I found something like a hidden room which had a door. I opened it and went into the "room" (it was a special place. It had no walls at all). It had a door at the other side of the room. I went through it and saw another one in the last room. It felt like, if I decide to go through that door, I would instantly die. I therefore moved all the doors back into the dream world.
Such a confusion gave me a fucking headache lol.
After waking up from such a fucking complicated dream, time irl felt fucking weird lmao.
My alarm began to do its job. It tried to wake me up at 6:30 am, at 6:45 am and at 6:50 am.
But all the time along it felt like it began to wake me up at 6:50 am down to 6:30 am.6
The effect of the scoring system is interesting.
On Facebook, where I usually spend most of my social media time, I have been training myself to NOT comment unless I really wanna engage, because I have an IRL habit of just talking shit just to hear myself speak that bleeds into my Facebook engagement, which is a character flaw I’m trying to change.
On here though, I will see something I wouldn’t normally respond to and I’ll comment cause I want those ++s.
BUT the quality of my comments on here are generally way “better” (more meaningful, usually kinder, etc) than my FB comments, obvi because I want those ++s and on Facebook I can be as dumb and mean as I want without having “consequences” aside from the obvious social consequences of people thinking I’m an asshole...but on here it kinda forces me to be more mindful of how I’m engaging with people5
So, someone is trying to catfish me in some social media.
And I can make a few guesses about who it might be. Or maybe I'm being paranoid and all the accounts contacting me randomly, are just spam bots.
But this isn't the first time. From a hateful ex, to someone I turned down because I had zero feelings for, to even random stalkers who found me online and thought that I was the best choice for obsessing over, I've seen different types of online ghosts.
Like... why is it that it takes so much for some people to be decent? Why can't you just say it to my face (aka directly), get your answer, and then fuck off? And if you're actually obsessing, it is not my problem. See a fucking therapist.
Anywho, aside from the wish to be able to occasionally deliver an online slap, and occasionally wishing that everyone on the internet had an ID to be found IRL, I would like for internet to be a less hateful/harassing/terrorizing/bullying/discriminating place. I like internet. I have so many awesome friends on the internet.
I just needed to rant about it so it doesn't weigh on my mind. Now I'm gonna go back to ignoring them and living my own life peacefully. I hope y'all have a good day. 🙂10
When your bitch-ass co-worker inserts something that is plain useless in the program in every degree1
me on my cover letter: i'm an experienced programmer
me irl: knows exactly two languages, has to google how to write basic methods2
I met a really really nice guy who I'd love to meet irl, @ribchinski
He's the type of guy who's so chill you'd want to fuck a goat with him, you get me?9
Server admin: "When do I need to make this config change for you?"
Me (in my head): "You mean the one I put a note in the change request ticket about in ALL CAPS and surrounded by asterisks saying 3pm (aside from the scheduled time field that the ticket requires), and the one we then subsequently chatted about where I reiterated the criticality of the timing about and the one I copied you in the email chain about that said the time in big, bold letters the time? THAT config change?!"
Me (IRL): "3pm, please."
(does not inspire confidence, though better to be asked then they just go off and do it whenever the mood strikes I suppose, which HAS happened)3
I haven't really known what to post. But I've decided not to care about being relevant or care about the like count. I'm a very competitive person so things like like count tend to effect the way I see the quality of a post.
I want devRant to be a place where I can be honest and feel safe even if I don't get the validation I sometimes wish I had. And hey maybe someone will think my opinions or thoughts are interesting.
So let's start with a little about me. I'm a 17 year old kid that loves programming. I work full time as a full stack web developer and I'm really the only web person. The current system is built on WordPress because of fucking course it is. I don't like it but I gotta keep it user friendly for less techy people to manage. No one likes have all minor changes and tweaks having to go through one person when they could do it themselves. So I manage.
I'd say my passion is more backend development but I do love having a pretty UI to display the results.
I've struggled with mental health the past few years but I'm doing much better. Even just last week I had an anxiety attack during a social event. I came here for the community and I do enjoy it, but I'm gonna try to make it an outlet. My best friend went off to university and I don't really have any IRL friends I can just be me around.
I don't have anything special to say. But if you read this thank you for listening to some random kid on the internet. I hope you have a great day.4
Anyone else here with anxieties, depression or what-not? I feel this could get heavy, but I feel this is the only place I could write this. So...
My 18-month-long programming course is slowly coming to an end. Time has come for us to be sent out to job interviews at various companies.
Every single time an interview comes up, I feel the exact same mix of my inconfidence, constant anxiety, "I'm gonna throw up", impatience and whatever else is there in my head. I figured it would get easier with each consecutive interview but it hasn't.
The questions they ask make me sick. The atmosphere is unfathomable. Robots are more humane.
- Why do you want to work with us?
I need money for my meds and something to down them with? I willingly put myself through this shit to become a corporate slave, what else is there to say? I can only hope I'll be writing any code here.
- Where do you see yourself in 2-3 years?
Far away from anything remotely related to an HR department of any sort?
- Had you been a fruit, which one would you be? Whatever would come out of my tears blended with semen? What the fuck is even that question?
Of course those aren't my actual responses, but conjuring the IRL ones to finish the process is a serious burden. And those are only some HR ones. After this barrage of questions they want my lifeless, flaccid body to write code. I mean ok, it's a software dev gig, but I already gave all I had on self-clairvoyance.
We'll be in touch!
Is there a strategy you guys have when you go to an interview? Any tips for taming the acrid beast running around in your brain? Is it too much to talk with a human in a humane language without "15 buzzwords to make the recruiter moist"?5
Sorry I haven't been as active lately, however this is one of the better prompts, so I feel I should have it in my track record. Beware, it's a long one...
Let's trace the roots: My uncle was building desktops and he told my dad he'd build him one if my dad paid him for the components. These days I know builds aren't rocket science, but back then my parents didn't do their research. So my dad paid him.
Give or take some time, and most of the parts are complete. He underestimated the prices of a few things and had to ask for $200 more to complete the build. This...caused my dad to explode.
Later, I heard my dad ranting to my stepmom in January 2017 about how the last convo he had with his brother was a "Fuck-you conversation" - it was the last because my uncle had died in 2003.
Flash forward to March 2017. My mom and I are sitting in a Fazoli's, a nice sunset out of the full-length windows. I had to probe. HAD TO.
"You promise you won't tell your dad I told you this?" she asked.
"You know Kellie and I can't stand to be around him." I replied.
As the story goes, that last "Fuck-you conversation"? Over a fucking measly $200. Yup, the last conversation between my dad and his brother to ever happen was a shouting match over a relatively short amount of money. I wish I could say my dad had remorse, but he doesn't. He still talks shit. He's also technologically illiterate, so I doubt there was a way his brother was going to be able to reason with him.
In late 2003, my uncle, who had been a smoker, passed away due to cardiac arrest. The build was still not finished. This was one of the OTHER things that I have mixed feelings about.
After my uncle passed, my aunt paid someone to finish the build and get it shipped to my dad. We'll get back to why I feel this is fucked up, stay tuned...
It's Spring 2004. I'm in the last half of what I think is Kindergarten or some shit...too lazy to do the math. Anyway, my dad announces we have a family computer - however, I couldn't read yet. That didn't stop the waste of oxygen that is my father from going in the Windows XP screensavers and putting text in that said "GAGE MORGAN WILL NOT TOUCH THIS COMPUTER." He's such a fuckin' dick, now AND back then.
My mom had an issue with this. I don't know why, but she did. Later, I was slowly taught how to use the mouse, under heavy supervision. Then I went to my grandma's house. She taught me one very specific thing on her old Win98 (386, maybe? IDK my old hw shit man), and because I know you guys are gonna love this one:
"The blue "e" opens up your games!"
The blue "e" does not open up your games, it opens something that can lead to your games.
I went home and tried this...without permission. My dad came down and discovered my lollygagging on the homepage - this is fucking weird. It was before Nextel, IIRC, so Sprint's logo was red still. Yes, we had broadband from Sprint. I don't know what saga led to that going the way of the dodo, but...
Back on track, I literally got my pants pulled down and had my bare bottom beat. He was gonna drag my ass upstairs and lock me in my room, but before he could, he accidentally slammed MY FUCKING RIGHT TEMPLE into the corner of a hardwood table at the bottom of the staircase.
The wailing that resulted probably was different than the previous form, which is probably what got my mom involved. My dad had a way of going too far, and in retrospect I'm more terrified now of what could've happened than I was then.
Later, I was given access to games in the form of my own account and bookmarks bar. That wasn't the end of the madness/drama from my use of that machine, but it was the earliest form.
Ever since Kindergarten, that one fateful day, I've been defying any/all imposed limitations on tech set on me by my parents...well, not anymore, but literally grades K-12. I'm living on my own, aka "adulting" now. It sucks more than you think, man.
Let's tie this up before I reach the limit. I said I thought it was fucked up when my aunt paid to have the build finished and shipped to us after my uncle's death.
Yes, my aunt's intervention led to me ultimately majoring in computer science.
That doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't have done it.
My dad was an asshole to her husband, who passed. She is ultimately too caring. I don't think my jackass father should've been able to get by with that, he didn't deserve the freebie. Someone else should've told him his brother did in fact need that $200.
I haven't seen her IRL since the funeral when my grandpa passed in 2005. 2006 spelled the end of my parents' marriage.
Hope you guys enjoyed this - it's only a small segment of how I got to where I am now - tiny, actually.2
This is easy. Irl fork and acquire commands to let me reposess the knowledge of my children.
Things i can do while playing games:
5: travel the world
6: troll my ex
7: read every post on DevRant1
That moment when you're so engrossed in your project that you lose track of time. You begin to SEE code irl, not just on screens. Things like hunger, environment and a sense of time fade away. That feeling when the code just works, but better when it doesn't and you figure out a smart fix. Oh gosh ill pay to feel like that all day.
I wrote a shitty layout for an android side project. It haunted me. I could still SEE the shitty xml long after the pc was shut down. I had a nightmare about it and woke up sweating, and all I could see was xml. Fkin xml man. I redid the layout at 3am and boy was i so satisfied.
I think that was just the tetrix effect taking its toll on me.
I always got screwed by parents for being on that machine all day, back in school. But none of that matters now. I can now feel the code running in my veins and flowing into the machine. I can now feel my heart throbbing at the sight of such beauty. They ask how i manage my social life. I say everything goes well until i start a side project, that's when social life gets fucked hard. I think I'm gonna die one day after performing the final commit.5
P.S.: This is not directed at anyone on here specifically. It's directed at all the devs I've met IRL and the comments I've seen on SO, who think that comments must be bad.15
So here's a rant I never thought I'd write.
I'm pretty happy with my current job. I'm working for a small non-tech business where I'm making a complete solution by myself. It's pretty chill just coding away all day and being my own project owner and manager.
The iffiest aspect is that my boss(es) don't know what (or if) I'm working on when I'm implementing a vital logging system, fixing bugs that cropped up due to implementing necessary, baseline security, and so on. They see a login page and figure the entire project is shippable, and when the login breaks because I'm configuring the wsgi for https the reaction is "it worked, why mess with it; just put it how it was". But I digress.
Today I got a job offer with a pay increase that made me exclaim "are you fucking serious" irl, in a business with a more professional environment consisting of senior devs, and with benefits I had never heard of.
I can't not accept, but that means just legacying the entire project I'm working on here. They'd basically be left with nothing after shelling out wages for me for these few months. Keep in mind this is a fairly small business who debated if they could afford this to begin with.
Disregarding whether they are willing/able to make it hard for me to leave, it stabs me in my scrubby dev soul to up and leave on a personal level.
They had a 3d printer at the other place though.15
Last rant was about games and graphics cards (admittedly not received too well), time for a rant about game development houses.. especially you EA.
So yesterday a friend of mine showed me in one of our Telegram chats that he'd modified some cheats in an old FPS game by editing these scripts (not Lua for some reason) that the game used as a.. configuration language I guess? He called the result a tank cemetery 🙃
Honestly the game looked a lot like Medal of Honor to stoned me at the time, so I figured, well why not fire up that old nx7010 I had laying around for so long, get a new Debian installation on that and rip the Medal of Honor: Allied Assault war chest that I still had, and play it on one of my more modern laptops? Those CD's are now very old anyway, maybe time to archive those before they rot away.
So I installed Debian on it again, looked up how to rip CD's from the command line, and it seemed that dd could do it - just give /dev/cdrom as the input file, and wherever you want to store your copy as the output file. Brilliant! Except.. uh, yeah. It wasn't that easy. So after checking the CD and finding that it was still pristine, and seeing another CD in that war chest fail just the same, I tried burning and then ripping a copy of Debian onto another CD.. checksummed them and yes, it ripped just fine, bit for bit equal. So what the fuck EA, why is your game such a special snowflake that it's apparently too difficult to even spin up the drive to be copied?
So I looked around on plebbit and found this: https://reddit.com/r/DataHoarder/... - the top comment of that post shattered all my hopes for this disc to be possible to rip. Turns out that DRM schemes intentionally screw up the protocols that make up a functioning disc, and detecting those fuck-ups is part of the actual DRM.
"I also remember some forms of DRM will even include disc mastering errors/physical corruption on the actual disc and use those as a sort of fingerprint for the DRM. The copied ISO has to include them at the exact same place in the ISO as on the IRL disc and the ISO emulator has to emulate the disc drive read errors they cause."
So yeah. Never mind that I already own this goddamn game, and that it's allowed by law to make one copy for personal use, AND that intentionally breaking something is very shady indeed.. apparently I don't really own this game after all. So I went onto the almighty search engines, and instantly found a copy of this game for download. You know EA.. I wanted to play nice. You didn't let me. Still wondering why people do piracy now? Might take your top suits that suggested these fucked up DRM schemes another decade to figure out maybe.. even given the obvious now.
But hey I wouldn't even care that much if the medium these games are stored on wouldn't be so volatile (remember these discs are now close to 20 years old, and data rot sets in after 30 years or so). You company decided to publish these on CD. We've had cartridges in many forms before, those are pretty much indestructible and inherently near impossible to duplicate. And why would you want to? But CD is what you chose because you company were too cheap to go to China, get someone to make some plastic molds and put your board and a memory chip in that. Oh and don't even get me started on the working conditions for game devs.. EA and co, aren't you ashamed of yourselves? No wonder that people hate game development houses so much.
Yay, almost finished downloading that copy of Medal of Honor! Whatever you say EA.. I've done everything I could to do it legally. You are the ones who fucked it up.10
I just searched like half an hour for a book.. Then I started tabbing to Google but it wasn't working.. I was a bit shocked when I noticed this was real live.2
Fuck forced coding conventions in uni, especially if they are as stupid as Google's Java Conventions. They are a disgrace to nice code but we will have to use them going forward
Stupid spaces everywhere. Else on the same line, wtaf. And don't even get me started on indentation with fucking spaces. Tabs are superior in every single way fite me irl17
my 3 year old youngest child just yelled 'hello world' but didn't told me if he echoed or printed it.
irl i sadly do not expect my computer passion to be inherited to one of them 😕2
**I move away from the mic to prepare for the --'s
Lol @ GPL... No license which proposes a restriction on the user's actions can be considered "free as in freedom".
The MIT license comes close, but mandates the inclusion of a copy of the license.
The WTFPL, while designed to use humor to bring attention to this very problem, still fails in its goal by incorrectly stating that "changing [the license] is allowed as long as the name is changed". Wrong: it's allowed because anybody is allowed to type what they want into a text document.
The only good one I've found is the Unlicense (http://unlicense.org). Unlike the others, it's not a prescription for what you may do with your own property, under threat of force; it's simply a friendly notice that you actually respect the rights of the user and would never imagine legally violating them.2
-submits pull request-
-goes to close some windows .... er ... naw-
-creates new virtual desktop to work in and leaves the old desktop / code open in case there are some bugs that pop up in production...-2
Why do devs automatically become the ones who can apperantly repair not working printers? Seriously, a friend of mine wrote to me today like I can actually do something without seeing it first. I'm not saying I can't do something about them but I don't want to because it takes time, and I would have to see it irl, it's so fucking annoying.6
Friend, jestingly: Gabe I did a hack, I edited the html on my browser and sent a pic to my boss so that it wouldn't look like I was 20 minutes late
Me, seriously: Friend that's literally 99% of IRL hacking. Human error.
Friend, who is positive about humanity, unlike me: why do you disappoint me like this
WHYY , are you fucking fucking complaining, mother fuckdr yyuo fucking won
You completed our mission objective successfully
You fucking did it mother fhcker and what ur asking from me after all of thus shit weve been through for the past 7 months is beyond our primary mission objective ,fucker
Obviously as you can fuckin see from the 7 months of suffering we can not repeat the same objective twice, just like u cant be born or die twice, fucker
Shit happens once and thats goddamn fuckin it motherfucker move on to tje ffckin next mission objective that i command u to go towards
NO FAILED MISSIONS. I ONLY BROADCAST SUCCESS. BUT SHIT HAPPENS RARE.
So forget about her u motherfucker, you told me what you wanted to achieve, i planned out the whole scenario, i organized the mission objective for you and you have took the fuckin risk and and action and guess what u fuckin succeeded. My mission objective has never failed you. What you are trying for these fuckin past 7 months is not my mission objective and it is out of scope, unplanned fuckin shit and that is why u fell back into fuckin depression i told u to fuckin stay away but u aint to me listen fucker
Worry no more about the shit that is irrelevant and out of your fuckin control.
U got friends at college. Hang out with them ull feel better. Whwnever u think of that fuckin whore goo mothrrfuckr and meet ur goddamn fckin irl friends. Text them. Shit man.....
Junon's Zen of Tabs:
Tabs for lexical indentation, spaces for alignment.
Tabs always come first, and never after a non-tab character.
This is the only way it should be.
I do not have an open mind about this. Fight me IRL.13
I had a dream that my code made me fly irl. I traveled at high speeds and noticed up and down. The whole dream theme was that of the sky when the sun makes it and the clouds turn pink. The feeling was like when u get a crush on a girl coder. I might theme a part of my game around it.