#mindhacks 😎

They just called me, saying they found my CV online 🤔 My CV is not online 😂 Still this is quite a good working environment 🙃

When your mother keep waking you up asking where is MS Office Word...

My previous job I got by winning an Xbox Kinect hackathon. Not because the game I made was really good or anything. But because I was the only one who actually built something. (Apart from a guy who’s application would cheer louder as you raised your arms.) So that evening I left the hackathon with an Xbox one and a job.

My job was to build advert games, games whose primary goal is to advertise a company or event. This is the job where I learned I DO NOT like game development. So after about half a year I quit.

Because I still needed money I did some freelance work as a game developer (I developed 3 advert games for 3 startups).

I was still looking around for dev jobs but because I was a student I had no luck, they were all looking for full timers.

At some point I called this one (Dutch) company and spoke to a very odd French person on the phone. He invited me to come over for an interview. I had very little information about the job so I started researching the company. They are a small company specialized in complex content migrations. I wasn’t that into migrations but hell, I’m always up for something new.

Upon arrival I was greeted by the familiar French voice and saw a collection 6 diverse developers sharing a space. We did the usual interview dance and practices and that’s where I figured out this is a java job. They developed tools for the professional services team to perform these complex migrations I mentioned earlier. With me never having touched java before I was quite sure I wouldn’t get the job. But I took the test anyway.

About halfway through the test I was stopped and they started to ask me some conceptual questions, I did okay there but nothing special. That same day the architect took me to their CEO and told him I had:

- very little experience
- no migration experience
- was still a student so could only work 20 hours a week
- he saw some potential they could work with

Quite unexpectedly, they still hired my 20 year old ass.

Now the company has grown to a good 20+ developers with a nicely sized professional services team and we are launching our first out-of-the-box product in a couple of weeks.

So that’s how I got my job. If you read to this very end, my hat is off to you!

nice one right there

One of the advantages of weakly-typed languages

I met my boss in a bar...
He said that he needs someone testing their security. I said that I was in security.
He emailed me.
That's it. 😂

Lets all help them share their startup

This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!

He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.

Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.

I was standing there like:

*should I tell him?*

😅😆

I'm the technical lead of the project which I don't have access to its repo

Old fart joke received from another old fart :) simply had to share as I am still laughing 😂

We are in 2017! :)

A super creepy webcrawler I built with a friend in Haskell. It uses social media, various reverse image searches from images and strategically picked video/gif frames, image EXIF data, user names, location data, etc to cross reference everything there is to know about someone. It builds weighted graphs in a database over time, trying to verify information through multiple pathways — although most searches are completed in seconds.

I originally built it for two reasons: Manager walks into the office for a meeting, and during the meeting I could ask him how his ski holiday with his wife and kids was, or casually mention how much I would like to learn his favorite hobby.

The other reason was porn of course.

I put further development in the freezer because it's already too creepy. I'd run it on some porn gif, and after a long search it had built a graph pointing to a residence in rural Russia with pictures of a local volleyball club.

To imagine that intelligence agencies probably have much better gathering tools is so insane to think about.

I found a pointer at the shopping center

Looks like I'll be debugging for the next 20 years

Best and worst customer I've had: A bank.
Great because they had so much money for projects.
Unbearable because everything needed to work in IE6.

Lot of BSODs on devRant lately... Proud to have Linux in Italian airports <3

Dev: what do I call this file ?
Me: just name it something meaningful so other dev's know what it is

Two days pass

Me: time to do code review .. oh look a new file ..

Git comment : new file for sax parsing , architecture gave the ok.

File name : SomethingMeaningful.java

Saw a rant a few days ago about hotel WiFi being shitty.

I'm just here to confirm that rant was accurate.

So Linus runs chrome inside of him? Interesting ...

Giving my girlfriend an advice on what color to pick for the lipstick

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ok, buddy, ok. Do you take part in "Gorilla" warfare as well?

I have just realized the music that was playing in my headphones stopped a long time ago and I've just been sitting here in silence with my headphones on listening to absolutely nothing.

*girl in office call IT guy*
Girl: my computer isn't working
Guy: what happened?
Girl: screen is blank.. nothing on it
Guy: ok... I'll replace the monitor (starts unplugging)
Girl: wait.. wait.... I didn't took backup yet..
Guy: *face plam*

The problem with sqlite is that now i only want to use sqlite

Been getting rejected for Linux related jobs all over for the last few months. Yesterday I emailed a company yet again because fuck it.

Got a call today from their recruiter! Genuinely nice guy and he's going to call me back tomorrow! Let's hope this finally goes well 😄

devRant should have a character limit of 1024 instead of 1000...

If you are not satisfied with the framework you have used, try to see its source code. It will surely make you feel calmed.

A.I steals my job; introduce devRant to A.I; A.I gets too busy ranting about all the stupid shit humans have messed up; Get my job back.