Me: *Watching a movie*

Main Character: "Oh no, we have to hack the CIA to figure out how this machine works! Hacker girl, do the stuff"

Hacker Girl: "Consider it done!"

Hacker Girl: *Opens Linux bash*

Hacker Girl: *types 'mkdir Hack_CIA'

Hacker Girl: "They have two-factor authentication in place, this is going to be a hard one."

Hacker Girl: *Types 'cd Hack_CIA'*

Hacker Girl: "I'm in!"

Me: "..."

Friend: "Wow, so well done, so realistic!"

Me: *Dies*

Writing some code on a flight

"ARE YOU HACKING?!?!"
"Ugh... Well yeah but not in the way you're thinking"
"Omg I'm getting a flight attendant"

Needless to say I'm still en route because the flight attendant realized that I'm not Mr Robot, nor do I have ZeroCool scribbled on my laptop anywhere.

Hacking yourself.

Me: *accidentally opens DevTools*

1.269427 milliseconds later...

Person: TEACHER! He’s HACKING INTO GOOGLE DRIVE!!!

Teacher: *glances at computer* Oh my gosh! That is ILLEGAL! Go to the office immediately.

I reluctantly headed to the office and calmly explained what happened. Luckily, some people have a bit of common sense and let me go.

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

This one time, a client wanted a complete overhaul of her website.

I asked her for the credentials to the VPS, She gave me some random crap to try, cause clearly the site hadn't been touched since 2003 (and boy was it fugly).

Me: Maam, these aren't the correct details.

She sends in more crap to try...2 days pass with this back and forth.

Client: "contact steve, he should have the login details"

Me: ****Calls Steve *****
Me: "Maam, he says the login details are in your mail"

Client: "well, I don't remember this fact. Steve handled everything.
Hack into the website and then reset it.

The Russians did not need login details to hack into America's system. So please, do what you have to do to get us moving."

No jokes...that was the exact crap that came out of her fingers

Just wondering .....

Obligatory message describing picture

!rant

I work from home. Sometimes, my husband remotes into his computer during the day. When I see it, I message him jokingly that someone is "hacking his computer". Then this happens:

Yesterday my friend was telling me that he was hacking some federal server in my country, and his girlfriend interrupted him and he couldn't complete the hacking

Such a lier 😏
We don't have girlfriends

* Google announces a prize for hacking it *
* Searches google - how to hack google - *

My (high school) computer science teacher once screamed "I've been hacked!" randomly during class.

... She apparently just accidentally pressed middle mouse button, so her cursor changed ...

Lol 😂😂

Bro, I want to hack Facebook. I have learnt HTML. what to do next?

Movie hacking vs Real hacking
Credits: SMBC comics

#OverclockTheUNIXDjango

If you wonna be a hacker you know

Among non-programmer friends:

Me: *opens up a terminal window*
Friends: "Dude, are you HACKING?"

In case you ever want to hack into a computer with 14 lines of code only. This algorithm is just genius.

*Facebook Hackers follow the Rules*
(real story)

TL;DR: sorry, not available, can't do spoilers

One night I was with a group of friends out at a pub. A guy and his girlfriend show up, I didn't know them but they were my friend's friends.

The girl kept bragging the whole time about his boyfriend being a professional programmer, trying to remind it to everybody whenever possible (don't ask me why!).

So, after a while, the discussion moves towards "suspect Facebook activities" and the guy starts saying that he can hack Facebook.

- "What do you mean?", I ask.
- "Hacking into other people's accounts, even with 2 factor authentication. I did it a lot of times"
- "Wait, and they don't notice?"
- "Of course not! ^_^ He's a hacker", the girl replies.

Ok, time to do a coming out.

- "Hey, I'm a developer myself. Can you give me an idea of what you did in technical terms? Did you find a vulnerability? Used a virus? Maybe a keylogger?"
- "No... Uh... Well... The secret is to read the terms of service"
- "What?"
- "Yes... yes it's all in the facebook terms of service..."
- "Uhm, I'm not really sure I'm following. Could you prove it by hacking my Facebook account? I'm giving you the permission".

In less than a minute the discussion flew completely away and they never mentioned computers again.

😂😂

Fav so far

[Friend]: OMG are you hacking!
[CMD]: tree
[Friend]: Wow!

That really got me xD

Credit goes to /r/ProgrammerHumor
/u/h313

Friend: So, you can program

Me: Yeah

Friend: nice, can you hack a Facebook profile?

Every.
Fucking.
Times.

Seems totally legit... :')

A conversation with our network/system admin.

Me : Can I install linux on my computer, windows is slow and terrible.

Him : No, if you use anything but Windows in this company, you will be fired for bypassing our security protocols. Its written in your contract.

Me : *boots up my Macbook*

When your friends think that viewing/changing source code of a website is hacking...

Idiots. For it to be hacking it has to be green and black of course...

Johndoe is not in the sudeors file. This incident will be reported

from the comic series "saturday morning breakfast cereal".

Leaked image of an NSA implant 👍😁

Beware of the neighborhood hackers

I wonder how long before people get twitchy thinking I’m hacking just running some database load tests

I laughed at how in the movies hacking is portrayed as some person clicking a lot buttons really quickly in a very flashy UI. There's a picture of America and sometimes there's a 3d model rotating for no good reason or a bunch of random numbers floating across the screen. They use random hacking related terms like: backdoor, DDoS...etc in their sentences.

At least they did their research...

I'm a programmer and an aspiring cyber security specialist. Yesterday, after I gave a presentation about smart bulb hacking, I heard through a coworker that a cyber security company is interested in talking to me. Yay!

So my school forced everyone to buy a Chromebook G4 Education Edition which came with ChromeOS and we had to sign some shady e-policy. Days after I got it, I opened it up and manually reflashed the BIOS so I could use SeaBIOS and install Arch Linux.

Great, so I went on to instal Chrome and it was really slow and performance heavy, then I installed the new Firefox and it ran a lot faster...

*So hehe, Firefox works better than Chrome on a Chromebook!*

The moment you see a Printed #Rant.

when ur parents try to understand what u do.

w0w such security

challenge accepted

much hacking. wow.

My last wk93 story, the time we discovered school faculty was spying on students and we uncovered student's deepest secrets.

I call it, kiddiegate.

So if you've read my past rants you've noticed I did some pretty childish and reckless stuff with my highschool's systems when I was younger, but nothing compares to this thing.

After resetting the sysadmin account pwd on some machines it occurred to me I could write a keylogger to capture teachers Moodle accounts and so on, I decided to try it out on a regular lab computer first.

Imagine my surprise when I found a hidden keylogger already installed! I couldn't believe it but then I thought, what if other PC's have it? So I recruited my mates and teached them the process to check if a PC had been infected...ALL PCs were, over 30 computers we checked had been logging for over 3 months! That damn sysadmin! >:[

We were shocked and angry, but then I thought "hey. . . My work has been done for me, better take advantage"

So we did, we extracted each log and then removed it from the PCs along with the keyloggers. There were hundreds of records and then one day we started snooping into the fb accounts of some students (we shouldn't have) we uncovered so many nasty, shocking secrets...

One of the school's lady's man had a drunk one nighter with one of our gay friends, the most secluded and shy guy was sexting like crazy with 15 chicks at the same time, things like that...we promised to never say a word and deleted the logs.

After that we didn't do much and continued highschool as every teenage minor should, getting drunk and avoiding responsibilities, though we could never see many of our classmates the same way. The sysadmin was fired shortly after I graduated, no reason was stablished.

I want to clear out we were minors and laws in my country weren't clearly stablished at the time plus no harm was ever done. I don't condone hacking or any kind of illegal activity, just thought I'd share.

Installed a VM, on a VM, on top of another VM

VMception!

yeah im 1337 hackr xdxdde

Le me opening terminal in class:

"Wow dude, are you hacking the school?"

This is why I have a DevRant sticker on my laptop.

Israeli government hackers hacked into Kaspersky’s network in 2015 and caught Russian government hackers red-handed hacking US government hackers with the help of Kaspersky.

In other words — Russia spying on America, Israel spying on Russia and America spying on everyone.

No, you're not a hacker because you use inspect element.

Was watching a soap with my girlfriend and they were trying to hack into the network of a hospital.. oh my

My friend at school (IT High School in Poland if you're interested) just asked me what version of Windows does Elliot in Mr. Robot use. After I said that it's not Windows, he didn't let me finish my sentence and said that you can't push macOS theming this far.

Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....

At school in computer class,
Me: (to friend who gets excited from "hacking") Hey look im gonna hack!
Friend: *Turns to watch*
Me: *Does "color a" and "tree"*
Friend: Wow.
Me: *Writes a quick Matrix.bat and opens it*
Friend: Woah guys look he is hacking!!
Me: *Sits there awkwardly*

If you let me use your WiFi, I feel bad for you son.
I can see your 99 problems, and porn is definitely one!

😉😂😂😂😂

Hello, world!

Hey, it's me. It's been awhile. How have you been..? :3

For those of you who don't know/remember, I'm the lead developer of a Desktop and (to-be) Hacking Simulator Game. My project should still exist somewhere on here. I just thought I would hop on, and catch you guys up on my progress. ^~^

So far themes are a thing! You can add custom fonts, wallpapers(or just a desktop color) and set the color/opasity of everything in-game!

I have also implimented a modding API. It's under-documented, but it works very well! You can add apps, commands, or even redesign the entire interface using it. It executes modded functions on specific events, so you could really have it do anything.

As of yesterday, there is also a simulated FileSystem. You can navigate it using in-game terminal commands, and you can create and remove directories.

(in-game screenshots are also a thing, you can even set a timer - ps: this is a 100% mod! As are all apps and commands in the current unreleased version. PM me on Telegram @TheCyaniteproject to get a copy~)

Bob Newby from Stranger Things is such a badass BASIC hacker :O

The term "hacking" has such a negative connotation these days.

No, MD5 hash is not a safe way to store our users' passwords. I don't care if its been written in the past and still works. I've demonstrated how easy it is to reverse engineer and rainbow attack. I've told you your own password for the site! Now please let me fix it before someone else forces you to. We're too busy with other projects right now? Oh, ok then, I'll just be quiet and ignore our poor security. Whilst I'm busy getting on with my other work, could you figure out what we're gonna do with the tatters of our client's business (in which our company owns a stake) in the aftermath of the attack?

I find coding is the best way to alleviate boredom on a plane.

Not because I enjoy coding that much, but because there are two types of people:
1) Those who know what programming is and who will ALWAYS ask about it interested. (Conversation starter)
2) Those who don't know what it is and just assume you're hacking the plane!

After a nice clean reinstall.. some partitions didn't wanna play nice so I got my hacking tools and hacked away.

//Not a rant

r/WindowsPhone discussing if the CIA has hacked them has me in tears 😂

Boss: i think someone is hacking into our accounts

IT: Yeah for sure

Best friends sister asked me if I could hack a phone or a router or something for her. Asked if the owner was alright with it. She said yes. Asked her for a picture of the interface. She sent me three pictures:
IPhone interface
Router interface
Blackberry phone interface.

😐

"I'll give you the iPhone through {best friends name}".

I have the phone now.

She's saying that I hacked their wifi.

I haven't even booted the phone yet.
I never connected to her network.
I don't know where she lives.

Dafuq.

What my friends think I can do

My first rant, so pls don't blame me?. 🙈. No just kidding, but now the Story. A friend told me that he want to start hacking. But I know that he can't prog or use a PC. But I asked: "Can u program?" He: Yeah, of course!?". *Me wondering as fuck* Me: Where do u learned that?" He: "Watched YouTube Videos!" Me: "OK?, and what language du u want to use, and IDE?" He answered: "Language Arduino, and IDE what is that?". *Me facepalming and asking myself what dafuq was he watching and why is he trying to do things like that*

What's your favorite console ? I love my switch, it is portable, has great games and HOMEBREWS.
I've been wanting to start making stuff on it for a while but didn't want to get banned, finally it's possible so here it is my first project : a Devrant client for switch !
It took me a bit cause i was unexperienced with the platform and there are a few technical issues i had to workaround ( like no support for ssl rn and devrant api is only https :/ ) but nevertheless it's here. I'm happy now.

Detailed insight into a time in computer history.

*friend sees me using inspect element*
Friend: woah dude, are you hacking?
Me: no, actually, I-
Friend: Dude, how do I do that? I want to use that to hack Clash Royale! Or minecraft!
Me: *facepalm*

My girlfriend thinks I can hack her laptop if I know it's IP address.

No Girl can give the pleasure of coding late night😂😂

This happened a few years ago:

Cousin: So one of my friends is going to teach me how to hack.
Me: Oh so you know something about programming?
Cousin: No, I'm going to learn how to hack first, because that's way more awesome.

When I am sitting in my school and writing a few lines of simple HTML code, people looks at my screen and more less shouting out loud "wow you are like a hacker or something? Who are you hacking and how do you do it and how did you learn it?". It happened a couple of times to me. Sometimes I just tell them it as it is and saying something like "it's simple HTML code" and a little explanation of what it is. Sometimes (depending who it is) I answer that it is a new kind of spyware I'm developing and if I'm lucky they believe in me and starts begging me for not hurting their computers.

Just a few lines of <script> and some code highlighting. How to become a hacker!

Jokes aside, this got me thinking html is most used and most successful hacking tool out there.

99.99% of the time it's far easier to socially engineer and phish for existing credentials that scan networks, sniff ports and look for vulnerable versions of software, new vulnerabilities etc.

We (people) are ad always will be a zero day exploit.

If it were possible to send messages back in time, this is what I’d tell myself

ME: Opens up Terminal

*Classmates whispering*
HACKER HACKER HACKING HACKING

When someone logs into someone else's Instagram after being told the password and then *posts a selfie* with the caption "#hacked"

****CRINGE****

A client was talking to me all day asking about my "hacking" experience.

I taught he was going to ask for a pen test for his trampoline website. At the end of the day, he revealed he wanted me to hack the "competition's databases" so he can promote his "very unique trampoline accessory".

Guess what happened? Nothing, cause fuck legal trouble!

Devil trying to hack me he failed 😂

made a password sniffer in python it was really easy how many of you took #100DaysOfCode i took the challenge 8 days today every day i am doing one project what do you think of the sniffer? it currently doesn't support SSL response but working on that right now this is good

Subway trolled
Hacked their printer paper roll

It is legit and approved 👍🤭

Yes I believe you’re Google and I will click that link.
I don’t care that IP from that you sent it to me is from some company in India.
Probably Google outsourced it’s email service there.

But wait why is this link pointing to Chinese website?
Ouch you provided some ip under A dns record so let me nmap it...
So there’s bunch of services you have there.
ftp, ssh, msrpc, netbios-ssn, snpp, microsoft-ds, sun-answerbook ...wait what ?
Let me curl that 8888 port.
Oh you have login / password form and it’s pagoda linux panel.
Wait a second I will read about it maybe some default login / password will work...

Ok so maybe I just make a script to brute force it as you wanted to brute force my computer motherfucker.

hacking on windows media player ...time to leave this planet

This ActUAllY just happened to me 😭😭

There are cybercrimes. That means you can be put to jail for performing certain actions with your computer. I’m taking about serious crimes like hacking crucial governmental servers but not about insulting people online. I’m talking about something that’ll make government chase you.

Every action at the computer could be done with keyboard only.

My face when there is finite sequence of keys that you press one by one and then become a criminal. And go to jail.

My face when if you put that sequence into script file, there is file that you double-click and instantly become criminal.

Press here to go to jail. The whole new level of abstraction.

Really makes me think.

What people think of you when you say you are a programmer.

Now I know how Quake III Arena got those high-res textures with better lighting and shading -- the developers conjured evil spirits to do some bit-level hacking to quickly calculate the inverse square root, which meant more calculations in less time, which meant more iterations for high-res rendering!

Me: *screwing around in inspect element*

Friend: Woah dude what hacking app is that, can you like turn off the lights

Me: *walks off into the distance*

How to become a hacker😎
1.Go to the store get a black hoodie, wear it and go infront of the PC.
2.Turn on the PC with WINDOWS😂
3.Change cmd font colour to green.
4.Type the following code in cmd.
ping 192.168.1.1 -c 9999999
5.OK now do that in again and again in 2-3 terminals.Now your desktop is full with black and green😋.
5.Take some pics of it and upload stories😍.
6.OK now your a HACKER😎

So I had finished my work early in class and asked the teacher if I could do something on my laptop for the remaining half an hour.

I take out my laptop and immediately people start asking if I'm hacking.

3 people come and sit next to me and ask what every line of code means that I write. (I think they got underwhelmed real fast because I was debugging).

The teacher then comes into the room and asks what I was doing and I said just working on an app project. She explains to me that it is illegal for me to be hacking and I could get into serious trouble if I am caught. I facepalm and she says your disturbing everyone else get off of your laptop and read a book.

I left that class thinking is she even qualified, what is she thinking. Are you teachers the same.

A store in Russia was robbed for 30k$ using ArtMoney.

ArtMoney is a Game cheating program that is used in games that have no AntiCheat system or it is insanely horrible(Cookie clicker as an example for a game that had no anticheat and ArtMoney is used in it)

The robbers placed orders for tech(like phones and laptops) and then used the program to change the prices from thousands of dollars down to 5$.

The cheat program is insanely easy to defend against or detect its changes.

This is a good reminder to check your security if youre adminstating things like online shops or other stuff thag can be targeted at a similar fashion.

Rule Number 1 of hacking:
You must to be beautiful😎

If you cant get kali on your usb, u dont need it. Seriously.

Creating content was so 2018. It’s all about stealing content now.

I've managed to design, source parts, solder together and flash a firmware to produce a custom numeric keypad.

I've also managed to put up two curtain poles and cook a nice meal.

I am a proper adult.

We have a bruteforce?

[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /a
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /ac
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /acc
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /acco
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accou
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accoun
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /account
[30.01.19 11:26]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/lo
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/log
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/logi

No only a skiddie who try very hard

When you've to explain normal people that you're a dev and not a hacker and so you can't just hack into their ex's Facebook account like it's some magic trick.

Me: reports vulnerability that can be used to steal thousands of dollars from a company.

Stingy company: gives me 66 USD voucher as a reward. :)

{spoilers, i guess...}

In season 1 episode 4 of Mr.Robot, Elliott plans on using a Raspberry Pi to heat up the storage facility in order to destroy the cassette tapes stored there. If he can get the temperature high enough, it would render those tapes useless. I was just wondering, can a hack like this take place in real life?

When my Friends ask the same.😠😠😠

Taking IT classes in college. The school bought us all lynda and office365 accounts but we can't use them because the classroom's network has been severed from the Active Directory server that holds our credentials. Because "hackers." (The non-IT classrooms don't have this problem, but they also don't need lynda accounts. What gives?)

So, I got bored, and irritated, so I decided to see just how secure the classroom really was.

It wasn't.

So I created a text file with the following rant and put it on the desktop of the "locked" admin account. Cheers. :)

1. don't make a show of "beefing up security" because that only makes people curious.
I'm referring of course to isolating the network. This wouldn't be a problem except:

2. don't restrict the good guys. only the bad guys.
I can't access resources for THIS CLASS that I use in THIS CLASS. That's a hassle.
It also gives me legitimate motivation to try to break your security.

3. don't secure it if you don't care. that is ALSO a hassle.
I know you don't care because you left secure boot off, no BIOS password, and nothing
stopping someone from using a different OS with fewer restrictions, or USB tethering,
or some sort malware, probably, in addition to security practices that are
wildly inconsistent, which leads me to the final and largest grievance:

4. don't give admin priveledges to an account without a password.

seriously. why would you do this? I don't understand.
you at least bothered to secure the accounts that don't even matter,
albeit with weak and publicly known passwords (that are the same on all machines),
but then you went and left the LEAST secure account with the MOST priveledges?
I could understand if it were just a single-user machine. Auto login as admin.
Lots of people do that and have a reason for it. But... no. I just... why?

anyway, don't worry, all I did was install python so I could play with scripting
during class. if that bothers you, trust me, you have much bigger problems.

I mean you no malice. just trying to help.

For real. Don't kick me out of school for being helpful. That would be unproductive.
Plus, maybe I'd be a good candidate for your cybersec track. haven't decided yet.

-- a guy who isn't very good at this and didn't have to be
have a nice day <3

oh, and I fixed the clock. you're welcome.

I was just traveling by train to work, when a group of students joined the carriage.
I opened my laptop to do some work in terminal. After one minute, the guy next to me said to his friends: "oh this guy next to me is hacking!"

Right...... 😑

Am I the only one that enjoys watching hacker movies even though they are completely absurd?

Clickbait at it's best! 😂

When did hackathons become competitions for developing websites, and move away from being competitions for gaining access to network resources (ie: hacking)?

When someone says they are a 'HACKER' whereas all they do is watch videos of 'How to hack a GMail account' on YouTube and read 'Learn to hack in 24 hours' , while having no knowledge of networking, security protocols and ports.

If someone asks me how to hack software, I answer:
'Well, basically it's just like searching for open doors of a unknown house you want to get in.' 😎
Usually the answer disappoints everyone. Then I add:
'Why so surprised? Would you leave your main door open, if you want to store something securely in your house?'
I love those disappointed faces from time to time. 😋

Every "hacking" scene in every movie.

Last night I compiled my first kernel module!

I'm not talking about a ./configure; make; sudo make install kind of thing...

I wrote, compiled, loaded the module and saw my silly "Hello World!" message on dmesg!

Using some previous experience on embedded I fired up qemu with a fresh buildroot image and the kernel image I just made, thus I can now test and debug without doing kernel changes to my workstation!

So yeah, I'm a little excited :-D

one day we will see IoT ransomware. Imagine ransomware on your smart car: “Pay 2 Bitcoins if you want to pick up the kids from the daycare in time.”

Dear weird stackoverflow,

What SQL knowledge do I need to hack devRant and get an avatar on here ?

This is what happens when you teach grandmas how to hack.

When I was younger (about six) I wanted to hack into NASA and release all their files on aliens and UFO's to the world so they would know the truth 🌎👽

Hoe about this.. Instead of a 'literal' game..

My co-developer suggested we make a minimal Linux OS (based off of Debian) and set it up to simulate fake hacking.

How does that sound?

It would still be a game, but would be so much cooler. >:3

The OS would be SOOPER light. And wpuld come with a custom set of 'hacking' tools. These 'tools' could also be installed on any other Linux os.

This is all theoretical, but we would love to hear your opinions.

Finally, a movie with realistic hacking!

I should start learning hacking

Just hacking some electronics

Scenario 1
Friend 1:"Hey, you're good at computers right?"
Me:"Erm yup."
Friend 1:"Can you hack Instagram? I've lost my password."
Me:"Oh My God."

Scenario 2
Me looking at a friend's unity C# code
Me:"You know there's an enter key right? Why is your code horizontal not vertical?"
(Means that after a semi-colon he continues his code)
Friend 2:"I like to read my code in horizontal, that feels natural to me"
Me:"What ever, as long as it works. But why do you have so many if function inside another if function?"
Friend 2:"Cuz I want the player to do this while moving"
Me:".........."

H4ck1ng 1n70 7h3 m41nfr4m3

When People Around You And Your Family And Closest Friends Think that programming is hacking.

Me: Why?

I live in a developing country where not a lot of people know much about security, programming and such. The moment I make a post about coding or something on social media, relatives/friends/strangers come and ask me to hack a Facebook profile or request a free download link to PUBG. And when I say that I can't, or that it's not really possible, they fuss and blame me for it. God damn people.

This isn't as much of a rant as the story of my worst abuse of computer knowledge.

This happened a couple years ago. When I was in high school, I had this friend/enemy relationship with this guy, lets call him Thomas. He loved to pull pranks on people. He had a similar firend/enemy relationship with my brother, and after one prank, my brother decided to get revenge. And by revenge, he meant asking me to make a virus.

I knew the guy, and I agreed. We thought about what type of virus we could make that would be funny, and not too damaging. We decided on a program that would play annoying sound effects every few minutes. Short enough to be noticable, long enough that Thomas would give up and not try to investigate.

I won't bore you with the details of the program. It was a very simple C app, very small, named "Counter-Strike-Global-Offence-Free-Download-Totally-Legit.exe". It was clearly visible in task manager, but since it was so small and barely used CPU or RAM it would stay near the bottom. I tried loading a custom sound effect, but it turned out the windows default "invalid sound effect" was much more annoying than any custom sound I could find.

The "Infecting" portion consisted of moving the .exe to the start menu startup folder while Thomas left his laptop unattended. My brother handled this part.

I unfortunaly left the country soon after and never actually saw the effect the program had on Thomas. I assumed my brothers laughing would give it away rather fast and he could simply remove it from his startup folder. However, my brother told me he still complained about it for months, before finally bringing the laptop to a repair center that found the totally legit CS:GO exe. My brother ended up telling him soon after, but this was still the best prank I ever pulled.

Why do people always think I'm hacking when they see a terminal on my screen?

!rant

Wanted to share a project with you, which I heard about at a Python Conference I attended.

It's a Raspberry based Hacking Station to educate and sensitize students about data privacy. The amazing thing about the project is, that it is a graduation project from a high school student.

If you're interested, check out spypi.ch

This is not an ad or something, I was just amazed by the talk and the idea of the project and wanted to share it with you.

Sometimes, y'gotta do what y'gotta do.

When all your friends ask you to hack someone for them when you only know how to make websites and games 😤

Stop chatting about your hacking exploits on a train. Especially when you did that 20 years ago. More importantly it's not hacking when you found that password on a Post-It note.

Watchdogs hacking: dir, cd, start executable

When the only type of hacking they heard is Facebook hacking... 😑😑

I know it's been said more than enough on here, but CODING != HACKING. GET IT RIGHT PEOPLE.

second path is more interesting... 😂

Trying out kali linux on my old galaxy s2. Let's see how it goes

Someone is trying to launch a brute force attack on one of my servers that I set up for an old project. According to the logs, they've tried Jorgee, they've tried directly accessing the MySQL database (with the laziest passwords), and they're now on day 4 of their brute force attack against my SSH server. I'm fairly certain that they won't be getting in (not that there's anything worth getting in the first place), but what's the standard protocol for this? Do I just wait this out, or is there something I can do to break their bot? I have fail2ban enabled, and it is doing its job, but the attacker is changing their IP address with every attack.

"How to hack"

Yesterday , I was traveling through the bus . I was reading the documentation of jquery . Suddenly a guy siiting next to my seat said "Are you a Hacker ?" I was in shock . He said " Could u plzz hack something for me right now ?" LOL

Lets go

.
....

I'm porting code. Help.

I barely know the madness behind this - zero comments, undescriptive 2 or 3 letter variable names, matrices shown as a bunch of vec3s, inconsistent naming conventions (Fuck naming conventions when the variable names are near nonsense anyway - vs, na, ba, ca, a, b, c, Rxy/Ryr/Rzr0/1/2, cx, sx, cz, sz, n0, n1, n0v, n1v, dotrzrxry, sy to name a few).

Solution: Just copy this code, slightly adapt it to use my own inputs, and never look back on it ever ever again ever.

This code has been out and in use for over a year and some months now. Over that time, a few brave souls like me have looked at it and tried to make sense of it. No-one has dared to decode the madness behind that section this entire time.

Oh and don't even get me started on the rest of the code! 943 lines, 4 of which are comments, next to no blank spacing lines, basically zero horizonal spacing also, integers dependent on knowing exactly how much madness there is, etc.

And all the other files have basically zero comments/spacing also.

Quote from the esafety au website

"Social engineering is not hacking. Hacking involves the use of computer technoliogies to gain unauthorised access to systems. Students sometimes use the term 'hacking' when in fact they have shared their password"

!rant

I get asked about being able to hack stuff, like cracking wifi passwords. Mostly I just go along with them and make up some stuff about how you _could_ do it. And explain how it is done, throw in some "yeah its tough"s and words they wont understand. Yeah with a dictionary attack and a powerful CPU with many threads you can definitely do it! You should try it! I say. Convincing them they can. Ofcourse, download kain and abel and look for something like aircrackng on google.

They won't amount to much and probably won't even try it, but I have a laugh. Seeing the hope of hacking and cracking fade away as a child's ice cream melting on a hot summer day.

Hehe

How to make a movie hacking scene:
Pretend like your typing while running a Linux make build from source

Unplugging the monitor. We in the hacker community call it the Schroedinger defense...

My wife was done with exercises on her electronic 88 keys piano.
Me: I also know something nice.
Her: oh so?
Me: (repeatedly typing key #3)
Her: (thinking)
Her: C hacking?!

How many of you did this to fake hacking during the early days of Linux in your life? :P

Linux is pretty much like Windows, but instead of "next, next, next, and finish" you do "copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste".

When you're a hardcore web developer, the only 'action' you .get() is when you're writing a login form scraper for your three-legged oauth flow in Python

When you are into programming and self_development

Stranger: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a web developer.
Stranger: ..can you hack my Facebook account?

A few years ago I was in high school and used to have a small reputation of hacking things. I could hack, just would never hack any school networks or systems (reputation + notice that there was a breach is a bad combo since everyone would immediately suspect you).

Anyways one day the networks internet connection went down in the school district and I was the only one who used a laptop to take notes. So I quickly opened the terminal and ran Wireshark and said to the person to my right "see that button there? yeah I programmed this last night. anytime I press it I can shut down the network so the teacher can't reach her files (she famously only saved them online). *Long dramatic press* Wireshark started scanning the network so all the numbers and lines were going crazy as it viewed the packet info "Now just wait", soon the whole class knew what I had done through whispers and lo and behold a few minutes later and the teacher couldn't reach her files.

Everyone loved me for the rest of the year for saving them from the homework for the week the wifi network was out since it also ended up having to cancel two tests in the class, and a lot more homework and tests in all their other classes. Solidified my reputation and no one fucked with me from that day on.

pls som1 sho me how 2 h4x fecesbuk

The wrong use of the word hacking makes me more angry than it should.

I've always thought the "can you hack my facebook accout?" rants a little exaggerated.

Then it happened to me twice.

For fuck's sake, is that damn social media site so ingrained in your puny little brain that you can't ask me something else? Is "what do you program" not the more obvious question?

So a client hired us to rebuild their website, because their current website is being held hostage at their current provider. The provider locked them out of WordPress and says they will shut down the website at the end of the month.

The client wants us to hack into the website and get the files. I told them "no chance in hell", but that their current website will be at our host later today.

What I didn't tell them is that I just scraped their website pages to flat HTML.

TL:DR
Why do so shitty "API"s exist that are even harder to write than proper ones? D:

Trying to hack my venilation at home.
This API is so horrible D:
The API is only based on POST requests no matter if you want to write values or get values and the response only contains XML with cryptic values like:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<PARAMETER>
<LANG>de</LANG>
<ID>v01306</ID>
<VA>00011100000000000000000010000001</VA>
<ID>v00024</ID>
<VA>0</VA>
<ID>v00033</ID>
<VA>2</VA>
<ID>v00037</ID>
<VA>0</VA>

Also there are multiple API routes like
POST /data/werte1.xml
POST /data/werte2.xml
POST /data/werte3.xml
POST /data/werte4.xml
And actually the real API route is only given in the request body and not in the path.

Why is this so shitty? D:<

Btw in terms of security this is also top notch. It just globally saves if one computer sends the login password.
I mean why even ask for a password then? D:
That made me end up with a cronjob to send a login request so I don't have to login on any device.

PS:
You see, great piece of German engineering.

LOL that's why I love C!

The function pointer cast for strcmp because qsort expects a compare function with two const void * pointers instead of two const char * pointers, that's just beautiful.

Not to mention the hack to abuse strcmp on a struct - which just works because the first struct member is a string and the rest just gets swapped with memcpy as opaque data.

I guess that wouldn't pass a code review at work. :-)

Best... hacking... scene... ever

Watching IT guy on the show "How to get away with murder" explain how to hack:

"It's not that complicated, really. You just download that app from the deep web and worm your way into the phone company's main frame using basic java code. Anyone can learn how to do that."

Thats how you do it! Thank me later.

Majority of the hacking tutorials:

Tutor : Now we are going to set up two virtual machines to practice our hacking.

Me : Yes finally some useful practicals

Tutor : First one is Metasploitable

Me : What? This OS literally has its name derived from exploitable! How would it be useful in real life! But its ok, there is one more OS for practice, i am sure that one will be better.

Tutor : And the second one is "Windows XP"

Me : *MOTHERFUCKER!*

P.S.: I understand its not the case for all tutorial and it is somewhat necessary, but still it gets me a little.

So I had this conversation with my dad
Background : He saw news about some celebrity's Twitter account got hacked.

Dad : Do you know how to hack a Twitter account?
Me : No dad. There are ways for people who do this kind of stuff.
D : But, you studied software engineering!
M : Yeah, but I don't do hacking.
D : Although hacking is not ethical but everyone should know about their field.

*Awkwardly left the room*

Just because I studied computer science doesn't mean that I SHOULD know hacking.

And this is not the first conversation of this kind!

That feeling when you find an exploit in a game about hacking (Watch Dogs 2). 😎

MR. ROBOT
_dec0d3d.doc got me siked for season_2.0

So my dad is watching some movie from the nineties titled "Hackers". Here are some lines from it:

"So I got into a server, looked around, run some commands. Only then did I realize that it was a bank server"
How can you not know what server are you hacking? And how did you later find out that it was a bank? For all you know you might be hacking into somebody's blog.

"
Hacker 1: So how are you gonna hack that database?
Hacker 2: I don't know yet.
H1: I would use a vulnerability in their security
"
That's like saying you would enter a building using the front doors.

Did whoever wrote the script for this movie even consulted somebody that knows at least something about hacking?

I think the reason I hate the terms "programming" and "program" (the verb) is because it's so commonly misused. Also I found people to less think of me as an hacker when saying that I am a coder rather than "I am a programmer".

Not even fb account people asks can you hack facebook. WTF🤐.

Have you ever been asked to develop something unethical by your boss? Did you do it anyway? Tell us your story.

Any devRanters at SHA2017?

Tony in The Age of Ultron.

Hacking level and geeks

Which are one of the most badass , kickass, inspiring, jaw dropping quote about programming/coding/hacking which you have heard?

A few days back I read an article about ethical hacking and get rewarded for bug bounty. I thought that might be interested.

AND

I'm about to send out my first ethical hack report to a company! I'm nervous because I don't know how they'll respond. It's an xss vulnerability, and I really hope they'll fix it.

It's cute how most companies think that someone will take the time to personally hack them. Like nah mate there's countless bots running around the internet like a rabid pack of dogs sniffing ip addresses and running exploit, one of the stragglers will pick you off...

Some kid keeps asking me how to session hijack. I keep telling him there's no point if:
A. You're not on the same network as him / her (I'm sure there are exceptions to this but normally you'd have to be on the same network)
B. The connection is encrypted
He doesn't understand either of those things. Not to mention it's illegal unless you're given consent.

Watched Fast & Furious 8 with a few dev friends last night and laughed our asses off at the 'hacking' scenes. Seriously what the fuck was that.

I'm not a web dev but I am pretty sure it is not so easy!
TNW just lost it's respect from me for this click bait!

I convinced someone that I hacked the government by doing the "help" command.

Does anyone here have any experience with either polyphasic sleep or just learning to sleep less?

As I get older (I'm only 25 right now) I seem to need more and more sleep and it's starting to eat into my normal day a little.

I used to get by on 6 hours perfectly well but I think a combination of intense and consistence stress and bad diet has all but fucked that.

Any tips for getting back into <6 hours sleep a night?

Looks like a standard DOS Injection-In-The-Middle type of attack.

Someone please tell Hollywood that you cannot hack systems by typing some random command in the terminal.

Every TV show/movie with a hacking scene....
Person trying to hack: I'm unable to get through their firewall.
Boss : Then hack HARDER.
Hacker: Thanks for the advice boss! I'm in!

should I learn ethical hacking as I make a backend for an app? how useful would it be?

Haha like 4 years ago I was dating this beautifully girl when she asked what I do , I told her I am a hacker , white belt of course ,she never believed me , so she said prove it, without thinking I called her with her own number , she freaked out never want to speak with me again , few days ago she sent me a friend request, I was like waoh only 4 years she know what a white hat hacker is.

Hmm...recently I've seen an increase in the idea of raising security awareness at a user level...but really now , it gets me thinking , why not raise security awareness at a coding level ? Just having one guy do encryption and encoding most certainly isn't enough for an app to be considered secure . In this day an age where most apps are web based and even open source some of them , I think that first of all it should be our duty to protect the customer/consumer rather than make him protect himself . Most of everyone knows how to get user input from the UI but how many out here actually think that the normal dummy user might actually type unintentional malicious code which would break the app or give him access to something he shouldn't be allowed into ? I've seen very few developers/software architects/engineers actually take the blame for insecure code . I've seen people build apps starting on an unacceptable idea security wise and then in the end thinking of patching in filters , encryptions , encodings , tokens and days before release realise that their app is half broken because they didn't start the whole project in a more secure way for the user .

Just my two cents...we as devs should be more aware of coding in a way that makes apps more secure from and for the user rather than saying that we had some epic mythical hackers pull all the user tables that also contained unhashed unencrypted passwords by using magix . It certainly isn't magic , it's just our bad coding that lets outside code interact with our own code .

I'm learning docker and I just started a container running a Linux distro.
What was the first command I run in the container?
rm -Rf / --no-preserve-root