When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays.

When you see "Database must be encrypted with SHA1 or SHA2" in software requirements specification....

when you're done with your code and user requirements change again.. :/

Ship it!

Software requirements

I've learned that trying to jump into a project without properly understanding everything it will entail is bad.

I recently worked on a project that involved modernizing a legacy system and no one on the team (including me) fully understood how the legacy system worked. This led to us missing a lot of edge cases and attacking the project in a way that really wasn't beneficial overall.

If we had thought about the entire system beforehand and mapped out the legacy system, the project would've turned out much better.

Scrum meeting is 15 minutes long.

Not 50.