I have just landed my dream job. Coming from a background of java and python, I applied for a C++ heavy company... The interview process was centred on algorithms and I passed it. Now I get to learn the language I have always wanted to learn from pretty hardcore devs while I am getting paid. One of the best fucking days of the 21 years I have been alive for.

I have a job

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. 

Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out." 

"Very well," says God, "let us see if Jesus has fared any better." 
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. 

Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?" 

God chuckles, "Everybody knows... Jesus saves."

Guilfoyle - the badass of nerds. I think he speaks for most of us.

Definitely should get one!

Ok, i'll try. . .

💻 L > W 💻

Fun fact:

In the game Civilization, Gandhi had a aggression rating of 1 which means he didn't declare war on anyone. Now whenever someone Researched Democracy their aggression rating dropped by 2. Now instead of it dropping to - 1, it caused an integer underflow and the aggression rating became the highest possible value, making Gandhi into a nuclear warlord. He nuked everyone!

Code town....

Try jogging your mind...

This is accurate af 😂😆

When your friend makes jokes about JavaScript but you don't know anything about web development

Fuck you, Nvidia

CEO's are need to be ***hole...

Everytime I boot into windows soemthing goes wrong. Driver that doesn't load properly, loss of connection on a fucking RJ45 cable, boot process that locks the desktop for about 5mns randomly... What the hell!?!??! I just don't get any of this crap on Linux. And also, how the fuck is Microsoft expecting to draw the Linux crowed to them by putting linux on top of their massive steaming pile of plague ridden shite?!? Linux works very well without that stink! F.U. Microsoft! and F.U. to your imbred, affront-to-nature, colossal putrifying piece of gelatinous diarrhetic shite of an OS!
.|.. (o_o) ..|.

fucking angular and fucking reinventing the fucking language it was made on and fucking everything up

The only street with superpowers!

Oh yes I know how it feels.

Interviewing front end developers with my boss.

Only skill I care about is knowing git.

HEY FRONT END DEVELOPERS!

LEARN GIT!

when I install something on my RPi and it immediately works

I don't understand those who only use terminal for everything...

Android Studio or Xamarin? Which is better?

I thought they only had the HTML one.

Anyone??

Weeks of programming can save hours of planning.

That famous feeling when

I hate the feeling of not being able to get shit working and it's time to sleep but you don't want to sleep until it's fixed

Just found this precious gem in the legacy code I am maintaining! How do you check if a string is empty :-D ?

This got me walking on the right side of life. I feel saved

I am a bit late but Merry Christmas :)

Source: Cult Of The Dead Cow, Facebook