Let's make a story, 3 words each. I'll start:

A month ago,

I updated my

Windows 1.0 installation

Then I cried

because when it

asked for licence

I pirated it

in the mountains

far far away

with only one

hand full of

old-fashioned USB sticks

however, I didnt

think I would

have a licensekey

So then I

called windows support

but before I

shouted at them

they tried to

charge me $400

because I wouldn't

my private data

So I got

A Macbook instead.

after 6 years

I realized that

kept saying that

buy another mac

But I got

never been happier

to use vim

then, years later,

I found linux

while I was

wasting time on

pornhub, redtube and twitter

On monday morning

date his daughter

but she uses

only windows me

Server in garage

which has every

poor results because

Raccoons. Raccoons everywhere

and they are

wearing anonymous masks

know my IP

unfollow me please

use linux too

but i miss

my oldschool keyboard

because coffee was

cheaper than cocaine

for the winter

is coming and

I am visiting

Donald Trump because

my sassy in-laws

think we should

build a fence

even when naked

I also decided

to start the

biggest project ever

and that's how

of the raccoons

because no one

thinks that racoons

really are the

best software engineers

instead of those

who prefers spaces

instead of tabs

forgot a semicolon

It worked before

But my mom

all of those

racoons that think

better than android

to punch someone

in the face

while typing with

we commited some

code to github

and found that

stole the code

And uses it

with zero day

the world, but

no one cares

the Russians have

Tried to kill

Leroy Jenkins over

But without doubt

But without doubt

he will survive

in the jungle

with the other

living only on

are backend developers

He fucked up.

Meanwhile the raccoons

were working on

getting the servers

up and running

until they realised

that Trump was

the root user

who put fences

to '/' dir

and rm -rf'd Hillary

After Trump installed

emacs like a

dumbass. Then he

called the Mexicans

to remove php5-hillary

but before he

called some racoons

He blamed everyone

but forgot selinux-policy-bernie

Then he tried

to steal the

old Windows1.0 License

but soon found

that Windows 10

forced an update

for his installation

which caused him

cancer aids and

emotional distress. Although,

he had them

since time immemorial,

programmers wait for

a better option

Soon he was

invading Mexico just

for the raccoons

and the installationkey

- didn't work because

the transaction rollbacked

because missing semicolon

or trailing whitespace?

so then i

broke my keyboard

and fell asleep.

while adoring this

bunny with a

, thinking I should

my personal project

and tell Obama

to learn COBOL

, although it is

not too trendy,

He loves to

make us suffer

But while I

write the latest

Javascript framework

with 2 fingers

using jQuery alone

and IE6 support

which was impossible

, I started to

cry for my

Mexican raccoon brethren

because Donald Trump

became CEO of

Oracle Inc and

hired racoons for

developing a secret

army of Trumps

his Trump card

to takeover Google

Hillary Clinton is

trying to find

using windows phone

And a Symbian-Emulator.

which actually works

while trying to

delete her emails

but Wikileaks exists

so instead she

gets annoyed with

and stats to

starts*

drop DevRant balls

on the racoons

because they leaked

her connections to

Hey everyone - I just wanted to give a heads up on this rant - I identified an issue with our in-app notification system where in really big comment threads with many unique authors, like this one, a query was being produced that caused some DB issues. At the moment in-app notifications are disabled for this rant, just in case you're wondering why.

Please proceed as normal, I'll send a short update message when it's fixed.

intergalactic space pirates

like Hondo Ohnaka

and this caused

an apocalipsis of

Lonely homeschooled kids

who only have

@dfox So my 'rant' helped identify a bug, how exciting :D

about Luke Skywalker

and things like

Ewoks, Yoda and lightsabers

In-app comment alerts on this should be working again

who told me:

this story ends

stop it now

But I couldn't.

Let's try again

we own this

and it's all

that's all folks

only the best

, in the southwest.

only crazy raccoons

but will they

go back to

which will fuck

up all of

@dfox how can i unfollow this post and not receive notifications altogether?

racoon's life's forever.

THE END

End of Part1

One fine day

EOF

Microsoft Paperclip noticed you want to end a string of comments!
Would you like to add a comment?

yes I do

TO DISABLE NOTIFICATIONS: Click options (top right on Android) && select mute from this thread. && Why didn't I notice this option days ago??!

@stable-penguin @dfox I still get notifications after muting. Something is buggy.

@Drastic that's about my luck. I didn't actually do it myself so that I'd see any indirect responses for at least a day.. bug ticket anyone?

@Drastic EDIT: I just noticed the word 'push', so maybe this means it disables mobile notifications, not in-app? @dfox bug or by design?

For those complaining about notifications. It's ok you don't want to still take part in the thread. BUT. You don't have to fuck each other's joy. In fact this thread was made to build a story and it's the owner the only one who has the rights to close a thread or when it's finished. So... 😚

When the racoons

upgraded their mobile

they tried to

I'm just here

to annoy some

folks with notifications.

Idea: let's end the comments in this rant and someone just start a new one :)

@ivannieto we don't want to steal your three word freedom, it's just, well.. nevermind. carry on.

it was fun until someone broke it. just that.

I think dfox wants to prevent that we brake his database.

guess am too late for the story now😔😔

@bdhobare start another one 😆