How do I slap a blockhead who keeps interjecting me in a Zoom meeting?

I hate interviewing with these FAANG or FAACK companies. I just finished 3 rounds of mind torturing coding sessions involving some obscure algorithms that I was expected to come up with on the fly! Thinking that the hard part is over and next is the behavioral round, I just received an email from the recruiter telling me that the next round is some obscure Linux kernel internals I need to be ready for.
How do people get jobs at these companies?!!!

I fucking hate meetings! I just spent 3 hours in a meeting arguing on how to do pull requests to master.
I am now nursing a severe headache of bullshit ideas and loud voices!!!!!!

For fucks sake newbies, please read the guidelines of the mailing list before mindlessly sending your BS to everyone!!! Ffffs!!

Some fucker installed a keylogger on my Ubuntu laptop at home and registered it as a systemd service. From Wireshark, it's sending each keystroke to a server in France using irc. Tried accessing the server but the moron shut it down immediately. It's the last time am fucking installing code from prebuilt binaries. If I can't build it from source then fuck off your sniffing cunt. I was about to log in into a database from that machine.

UPDATE: I found the actual file sending the keystrokes but it's binary. Anyone know how I can decode a binary file?

Can we all stop what we are doing and talk about the ridiculously long error messages in Spring Boot and how one can kill themselves scrolling for over 10hours to read the actual error?

That's right you fucking c*nts! Put an unsubscribe button but still send me emails even after unsubscribing a million times!🖕

Building a stable CI/CD pipeline should be listed as the 8th wonder of the world.

I am literally tasked with debugging why we have a 1.98 seconds lag on our site running on kubernetes. Smh

The reason why aliens are avoiding earth:
Me : Guys, the CI/CD pipeline is ready. ci.yaml is our config file, so don't remove it as the deployments will fail.
**10 seconds later**
slack: BUILD FAILED
Me: *Looks at git commits* "Brian removed ci.yaml

Wtf BRIAN!🖕🖕🖕🖕

I fucking hate the Nginx Ingress Controller for Kubernetes. Fucking piece of shit. You fucking can't do a fucking simple rewrite and proxy pass???? Fucccck!

Moron: *Sees the toilet Occupied sign is on*
Moron: *Stills knocks loudly the door*

Vacation time suckers!

Well, FUCK YOU TOO LINKEDIN!!!

DON'T

EVER

SHARD

YOUR

DATABASE !

Trust me, don't !

Starting my 10th side project like...

Rare footage of me waiting for my Kubernetes cluster to start.(2018BC,colorized)

1. Go to Github for you
2. Download the 'codes'
3. Send them as a pdf to you when the code is there in the repo.
4. Write you a step by step tutorial when there's a clear README.

YOU LAZY MOTHERFUKCER!

At work, an idiot who has never worked on machine learning before and understands nothing about it: "You know what, machine learning isn't actually hard. It is just basic statistics and then you download the model online and that's it! There's nothing else you are doing!"

STFU, you moron! Do you think just any model can work for your use case? Do you fucking think it is easy to come up with new architecture for a very specific use case and test it accurately? Do you think it's easy to effectively train a model and do hyper-parameter optimization?Do you fucking think it is easy to retrieve the right data for your use case? Do you think it's easy to keep up with research papers on arXiv being released daily? Do you think this is fucking javascript and there's a framework for everything? Stfu!
Honestly, i hate ignorant morons who generalize stuff they don't clearly understand.

My fucking stupid idiot neighbor is replaying the same song since morning at max volume. It's killing me! Where can i buy a machete and wipe out this moron's genes from the earth?

6:30pm: "You programmers have no life at all. Spending the whole day infront of a computer! "
6:31pm: "Hey could you please loan me some money, I am so broke right now"
*Me singing in my head*: 🎵🎵Young, dumb and broke

"What kind of desktop and laptop do you want us to get you?"

-The best words i heard today.

RANT TIME!

Sorry guys, I know this is devRant and probably not a place to post this but am fucking burning with fury and fatigue! I should probably develop elecRant and post it there instead.

I FUCKING HATE POWER ELECTRONICS!!

I am in my final year of electrical engineering and I can fucking say with confidence that power electronics is the most fucked up unit I have seen in my life. A whole load of useless math from simple RLC circuits just to make students' lives miserable. For those who might not know, power electronics is some unit that involves use of solid state electronics(transistors, diodes etc) for power applications(switching mostly). Basically things like inverters and converters. UPS systems are an example of their applications.
Now don't be fooled by how that sounds cool and so smart, this shit is fucked up. These circuits in the attached picture might just seem like simple RLC networks with some BJTs, but they are devils in their own right. They fucking need some advanced unnecessary calculus and Fourier analysis to even calculate the simplest output current!! Worst still, some of these motherfuckers have more than 1 mode of operation,needing one to analyze some fucking 100+ waveforms. I fucking hate this shiit! I hate it!
You might say that i am just being lazy and don't want to study. Let me tell you something, FUCK YOU TOO!!

Sigh.That day again where I have to work from the client's stupid office.
- Spotify blocked
- Youtube blocked
- Can't ssh to my private VM
- Office is stuffy and no fresh air.Smells like feet and french fries mixed.
- No paid lunch,I have spend my own money
Sigh. 6 more hours to go.

STFU MOLLY!!!

I iust won a fully paid ticket with flight and accommodation to a machine learning research conference later this summer! Yaay!

Today some random highschool guy who i barely knew tried to convince me to build for him his "billion dollar" social app while he handles the business side. I burnt that crap with eternal holy fire before he even finished that sentence!

I know I have ranted here before about how I hate this client and the changes they are always making, but today the app was officially launched with a big media presence! I have never felt such kind of joy as a dev before!

- Sent from my iPhone

You know what? I'm gonna take that iPhone, smear it with my dog's shit, stick it down your throat, beat you up until you shit it out and then stick it right back into you ass!

!rant

I just met one of my rockstar machine learning researchers from the Google Brain team and she said she liked what i am working on to use graph machine learning models for alternative credit scoring.
My ego is offff the roof today!!