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Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.2 -
All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.
2 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
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I installed ArchLinux on my smartphone thanks to termux, and now i kinda feel like a god, but don't know what to do.
I'm bored.
9 -
Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
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Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.3 -
Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site4
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about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
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watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?10
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swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?1 -
had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back
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My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
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Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.3
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At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here6 -
TL;DR: TIL for heavy queries use PDO and not some frameworks DB class
ffs I was trying to save 300k+ lines at once with Laravel for weeks. Mind you from a text file. 1gb ram on the vps so while trying to prepare the text to save: Fatal Error: Allowed Memory Size of bla bla Bytes Exhausted
ok so lets put it in a loop: Fatal error: Maximum execution time of 30 seconds exceeded (set_time_limit(0); lol)
optimising, varying the code got me into a situation when the content got saved in the BD but inconsistent (duplicates) and the table had often more than 1,5M rows. That was what told me its not a performance issue, my code is the issue. (dah)
I was starting to think it would be easier to export a prepared query to a sql file and load the file into the db as thats the fastest possible option...I even started to think about switching to python, then it hit me, Laravel has a shitload of routes to the DB so I switched to PDO
benchmark on 1vCPU, 1GB RAM VPS with SSD
379k lines with 11 columns in less than 10 sec with a loop of saving every ~6000 rows (if i tried choking it to save the whole thing at once it went up to 16-17sec)2 -
jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!
more beer needed... -
in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!3
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A friend of me said that intel Pentium and i3 is the same, that all laptops with intel`s logo have the same processor, you just have to view the info. of yours...2
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Dah, I wish I was better at painting. The easiest kind too - painting a room, not a picture. It's fine until I get to the edges. Then I mask off the area I don't want to paint, pull of the tape but no - turns out it's wonkier than a drunk student trying to walk in a straight line.
Go to touch it up, miss, get paint on the other bit I was trying to avoid. Great. Try taping it again - straighter this time - and it works, but then rips off chunks of paint when I take the tape off. Go to touch those bits up, then in my haste splatter it on the floor.
Seriously, how anyone can be this bad at this is beyond me.11 -
when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to) -
Between android studio and Unity, which one si better to make a adventure text game? Why? (i'm learning, dont kill me please)8
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!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?
2 -
When commenting it would be nice to see the comment you are commenting against. Often they are long with several points and you can't refer back to it8
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Dah. Boss says we have to set a take home coding task for the dev interviews we're doing. I'd prefer just having a chat and forming an opinion.
I mean, you're the boss, but I still reckon that'll only cause the good candidates to sod off...3 -
If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right
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My coworker, Donnovan, has influenced me the most professionally. Showed me the ropes around HL7 when I had limited coding background. His philosophy of automating as much as possible has been my motto for over a decade, and I make sure I impart that to every new dev I train.2
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Dah. Have to integrate with a legacy, crappy, SOAP service with malformed WSDL and bugger all documentation.
SOAP should just be damn well illegal these days.3 -
Suggestions for UK conferences please, already going to devoxx, anything devvy would be good, or architecture or web related
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Anybody else get shouted at by partner when you put all heavy stuff at front of conveyer when shopping, or rearrange dishwasher so more things will fit, etc. I thought I was just being logical about these things...1
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We're at that part in the project where we either keep sinking money into it, or cut or losses and go with another project. Sigh.1
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In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?10
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Macbook pro is - at least where I live - considered expensive. Some of my friends have cheaper cars. I really hesitate to buy even a 2015 version, as thats the one I want. Im thinking about buying a used one ffs.
Now yesterday im chatting with this girl, exchanging nudes and so, when on one of her pictures I saw the apple logo, a macbook, I bet its an air, no its a pro, god damnit. So I asked her, that laptop is that yours? She said yes, she buyd it a few years ago with money she collected, because she photographs a lot (dah) and its really good to photoshop on that thing.
Ffs I want one for my work, which pays well, actually I can buy a brand new macbook with one month salary, why am I having these problems deciding? Am I the only one, again?
Wtf is wrong with me5 -
I found myself tonight imagining what a conversation between Cheech and Chong about serverless would be.
Maybe the basis for a new talk?
Suggestions please1 -
Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen3
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Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?
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Opinions please. When end user is not paying for service, who is my customer? For example public facing government project2
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In client terms, a “3rd party” is akin to Angelina Jolie. Despite the promise that you’ll be able to have an enlightening conversation over a nice meal and hopefully hook up afterwards ... sorry, it ain’t happenin’. You’re just gonna have to fantasize about it while you take care of business yourself.
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I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?3
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Neither one of them really *get* what I do, but mom likes to tell me his much she hates whatever program she uses at work as if I control the dev timeline.
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About the one ranting about people who don't know how to use Google:
that kind of people is my family, and, my sister ASK TO GOOGLE, really, she write all the homework of her school to google.
THATS why they dont find answers -
New to the the electronics stuff and I'm building a word clock. Recommendations for a microcontroller that has at least 22 outputs (22 words to light up). Something from Arduino? Also need to plug in for power and use an RTC.5
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What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking6
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