Browsing to a porn site while still being in the corporate VPN.
Got a proxy page which said this type of content isn't allowed at work. Nearly had a heart attack ;D

List of things that my fucking corporate proxy blocks

* Maven
* The NPM registry
* Github

List of things that aren't blocked

* Google drive
* Twitter
* Porn

Half my mobile data is burned away by NPM sinkholes. Fuck this place.

The company I work for (very big IT consultancy) has made the absolutely genius decision to put a block on the corporate proxy for GitHub. GITHUB. Because no fucking software developer ever needs to visit there. Their reason? "We don't want people publishing our intellectual property". Mate, I can fucking guarantee you that if unscrupulous bastards want to publish code against our T&C's, they will do so. Why make every body else's job harder and block it?!

But the best bit, you can submit a request (that is accepted without question) to get yourself an exemption. WHY THE FUCKING FUCK HAVE THE BLOCK IN THE FIRST PLACE THEN

To add to their fucktardery, they blocked the CDN that hosted stackoverflows css and JavaScript last year (CloudFlare) weeks after the alleged hack was fixed, and seemingly without any research at all. This obviously rendered stackoverflow unusable. Because again, why would a company full of engineers need to go there.

Morons.

Fucking IT and their self signed corporate proxy SSL bullshit getting in the way of anything that needs to verify SSL requests,
Fuck you for making my day a slow and miserable day and having to resort to forcing rest apis and SDKs to work over HTTP instead, all in the name of “Security”.

Today the corporate proxy decided to flake out on me. Every single external site was blocked.

I was shown a very helpful page informing me the site I wanted to visit was blocked. If I had legit need to access the site or believe the site was blocked in error I could contact IT via a helpful link.

And yeah, the IT support site was blocked by the proxy too.

Today I discovered that xkcd is not blocked by my corporate proxy. yay

So there I am sitting in front of my laptop, and trying to npm i and I am getting all sorts of sha mismatch errors.

After lot of debug I conclude it is coming from the proxy as it refuses to download and supplies the error page.

It says it's because I'm using the old proxy so they give me the new URL which I set up and it works.

All good until my password expires. I use our bash script to change it. NPM is buggered again throwing the same errors.

Go to IT, tell them the saga begins.

After a countless hours of looking at the log files we notice that the npm registry is set to http instead of the standard https (thanks bash script). so our firewall blocks the download.

Sorted, finally.

Almost. NPM now works fine, but when I go and I play around with node and axios, I get my requests time out. My instinct says its the bloody proxy again.

So I hit up my trusted WIN Support guy and he confirms that the url is not blocked. So he starts monitoring whats going on and turns out, every time I run the node app, node casually ignores the system-wide proxy settings and tries to send the request as the PC rather then my username.

Since the pc's don't have rights on the proxy it is being refused...

Thank fuck for the corporate proxies, without them, I could just develop things not ever learning these quirks of node...

I have a dream, that one day I'll be able to work normally without the FUUUCKING corporate proxy blocking every shit

What a consultant's gotta do for his timesheet when homeworking:

1. Fill in Excel, send to self by mail (corporate bitlocker protected PC on proxy that doesnt allow local printer connections)
2. Go upstairs to secondary Windows PC (no Excel on main Linux laptop) and open mail
3. Send to printer, wait 10 minutes (old printer needs to 'warm up')
4. Sign timesheet and go back upstairs
5. Scan signed version, send mail to self.
6. Open personal mail on corporate laptop, send to manager. (can't send directly from personal mail)
7. Wait to get back signed timesheet from manager
8. Finally, send to own admin dept.

2 story points completed, time for a break.

So you're behind a corporate proxy. What can go wrong will go wrong. Believe me.

Ah the joy transitioning from the unrestricted apprentice network to the tightly restricted prod and dev network and environment. U can be sure thst the corporate proxy will give you a dropkick to ure face when trying anything that was released in the last 5 years...

I work in a team that's predominately ASP.NET MVC when it comes to web development. We're merging with another government agency 's development and they're using Node.js.

So I figure that I should make an effort and learn Node.js as I've only had minimal exposure to it.

After five minutes discover that corporate proxy prevents access to npm. Oh well, never mind!

Fuck these IT corporate proxies
Nothing just *works* and you have to fiddle with shit all the time and waste hours and days
The worst thing is the team I work on and their code isn't on the corporate server so if I'm on their damn proxy I can't access my work, if I'm not I can't access company stuff that I need

Using boot2docker behind a corporate proxy that fucks with your SSL certs will drive anyone insane!! 👹