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When someone changes the API at 5pm without notice and you get a call at midnight that no one can login.
6 -
I once brought my Kali Linux laptop to school. (Because normal had dead battery, waiting for shipping)
MFW someone from the IT department is called in to fix teachers projector and he sees I still have the default dragon wallpaper on it.
MFW when recognises it it's Kali.
MFW he calls the police and my laptop gets taken away because 'its dangerous' and I get questioned in school.
The police came back a week later to check my laptop again. 'uhh we gotta check the logs'.
IF I WANTED IT TO BE DANGEROUS YOU'D BE FIXING A LOT MORE THAN JUST THE FUCKING PROJECTOR!
Also, wuddup devrant!16 -
-Gets new laptop days before a presentation that is today..
-Windows creators update restarts mid presentation..
29 -
Told my colleagues about devRant and they laughed it off saying that it's just 'another app'.
Fuck them.10 -
I FUCKING MADE IT GUYS! I JUST PASSED THE HARDEST COURSE AT UNIVERSITY WHICH IS ABOUT DATA STRUCTURES AND ALGORITHMS! I DRAGGED THIS WITH ME A WHOLE YEAR AND I JUST GOT THE NOTIFICATION THAT I MADE IT. I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY GUYS I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!28
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>Building advertising platform
>Life is good
>Fire up the dev server and open in browser
>No assets
>What the fuck
>Check code and config for like an hour it's all good
>What the fuck
>Try incognito browser, it works.
>What the fuck
>Oh yeah. Adblock. Fuck.4 -
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FOR THINKING THAT THE FUCKING SAD FACE IN THE BLUE SCREEN IS APPROPRIATE!!!!!!!!
THAT SHIT IS WORSE THAN CLIPPY
WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO MAKE THE ERROR CODE IN SO SMALL PRINT???
YOU OWE ME 5 DAYS OF MY LIFE AND COUNTING!
NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN UNABLE TO DO MY JOB, I HAVE ALSO NOT BEEN ABLE TO VENT MY FRUSTRATION KILLING ALIENS, IF I HAVE TO SPENT ANOTHER DAY FIXING THIS STUPID COMPUTER I WILL SWIM ALL THEY WAY OVER TO AMERICA AND BITCH SLAP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR DEVELOPERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!32 -
> Receive sudden phone call in the middle of the night
> Check caller, unknown number
> "Either something bad happened or it's something urgent. I'd better answer."
> "Hello?"
> Friend of friend of friend says he updated his gpu drivers and now has some random fps drops.
> I was in a good mood so I agreed to help him over teamviewer, even though I don't know him.
> Downgrading to an older version of nvidia driver seemed to have fixed the drops.
> 5 minutes later, he calls again. His headset is not working properly.
> Helped him fix the issue over teamviever.
> This continued for at least 2 hours, calling me every 5 minutes to install just another driver or change some random win setting. Turned out he had some retard format his pc because he thought it'd "make it go faster".
> Calls me again, this time he's pc isn't booting up at all. After 20 minutes on the phone the fucktard admits he just tried to reformat his pc because "my pc automatically installed a bad windows update" ( no, I don't understand either) but he fucked it up.
> I begin explaining him how to make a bootable usb stick, how to change the boot order etc to reinstall windows. I even suggested that I'd help him setup win/drivers after windows's done installing.
> He lets me go for about an hour explaining.
> "So that's it. When the setup is over, call me again and I'll help you install the drivers."
> "Bro this sounds complicated, why don't you come over? This won't even take you 5 minutes"
YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
YOU FUCKING TRASH
CALL ME AGAIN AND I'LL SHOVE YOUR GIGABYTE GEFORCE GTX1060 6GB UP YOUR ASS, PERPENDICULARLY
The motherfucker even called me "bro"8 -
FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!
Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !
29 -
You know who sucks at developing APIs?
Facebook.
I mean, how are so high paid guys with so great ideas manage to come up with apis THAT shitty?
Let's have a look. They took MVC and invented flux. It was so complicated that there were so many overhyped articles that stated "Flux is just X", "Flux is just Y", and exactly when Redux comes to the stage, flux is forgotten. Nobody uses it anymore.
They took declarative cursors and created Relay, but again, Apollo GraphQL comes and relay just goes away. When i tried just to get started with relay, it seemed so complicated that i just closed the tab. I mean, i get the idea, it's simple yet brilliant, but the api...
Immutable.js. Shitload of fuck. Explain WHY should i mess with shit like getIn(path: Iterable<string | number>): any and class List<T> { push(value: T): this }? Clojurescript offers Om, the React wrapper that works about three times faster! How is it even possible? Clojure's immutable data structures! They're even opensourced as standalone library, Mori js, and api is great! Just use it! Why reinvent the wheel?
It seems like when i just need to develop a simple react app, i should configure webpack (huge fuckload of work by itself) to get hot reload, modern es and jsx to work, then add redux, redux-saga, redux-thunk, react-redux and immutable.js, and if i just want my simple component to communicate with state, i need to define a component, a container, fucking mapStateToProps and mapDispatchToProps, and that's all just for "hello world" to pop out. And make sure you didn't forget to type that this.handler = this.handler.bind(this) for every handler function. Or use ev closure fucked up hack that requires just a bit more webpack tweaks. We haven't even started to communicate to the server! Fuck!
I bet there is savage ass overengineer sitting there at facebook, and he of course knows everything about how good api should look, and he also has huge ass ego and he just allowed to ban everything that he doesn't like. And he just bans everything with good simple api because it "isn't flexible enough".
"React is heavier than preact because we offer isomorphic multiple rendering targets", oh, how hard want i to slap your face, you fuckface. You know what i offered your mom and she agreed?
They even created create-react-app, but state management is still up to you. And react-boierplate is just too complicated.
When i need web app, i type "lein new re-frame", then "lein dev", and boom, live reload server started. No config. Every action is just (dispatch) away, works from any component. State subscription? (subscribe). Isolated side-effects? (reg-fx). Organize files as you want. File size? Around 30k, maybe 60 if you use some clojure libs.
If you don't care about massive market support, just use hyperapp. It's way simpler.
Dear developers, PLEASE, don't forget about api. Take it serious, it's very important. You may even design api first, and only then implement the actual logic. That's even better.
And facebook, sincerelly,
Fuck you.19 -
This pisses me off to no end!
First of all, these annoying overlays are intrusive as fuck, Reddit, so go fuck yourself!
Second of all, I bet my hairy arse that you are intentionally trying to deceive your users by means of wording and visual signals here, because it suggest you can:
1. eitger click the monstrous orange button which, in my opinion, does suggest dismissal, NOT that you will be redirected to the fucking playstore, all the more if you don't have that stupid app installed in the first place
2. or click the tiny ass link below that suggests you go to a completely different site
Of course you want me to use your shitty app, so you you can collect assloads of information about me and my environment, but FORCING that shit on me won't work, because, even though you won't care either, I'd rather leave Reddit than allow you cunts to manipulate me so easily.
I could tolerate this shit, if you asked me ONCE then 'remembered' my decision, but since you shove that annoying overlay in my face EVERY FUCKING TIME, you can go fuck yourself with a thick, moldy club wrapped in rusty barbed wire, you fucking intrusive cunts.
22 -
I fucking hate JavaScript libraries that have been written by idiots.
You can be a C++, Python, C#, Java or fucking Haskell pro all you want, but JavaScript has its own, very particular and peculiar set of patterns and idioms. You so have to learn JavaScript, really learn it, understand it. As long as you don't know what prototypal inheritance is, don't fucking publish any non-trivial libraries.
And for motherfuck's sake, leave your gouty claws off your keyboard, if you're even thinking about writing a complicated JS library, as long as you still FUCKING SUCK at it.
If you still do it, and if I happen to have to depend on your shit library some day, I WILL find you. I am going to fucking find you, and I will cut off your goddamn lips, roast them, salt them generously and force you to fucking eat them at gunpoint.
Fuck you, fuck your your hubris, fuck your idiocy, and fuck your whole inbred family!31 -
The website i made has been hacked today.
Stored in their server.
They didnt give me an access for it.
The user account in the cms i used for updating content while building the website was revoked when the website is completed.
Now they ask me for the latest backup.
I have no backup because how the hell i do a backup when i got no access to the cpanel.
The only backup is the zip file for initial uploading into their server and the contents were added after the website is on their server.
That goddamn IT guy who wont give me any access for “securty sake” is calling me furiously asking for the backup and how to set up the stuffs from the beginning.
I thought he was the one who know his shit but i was wrong.
Fuck me?
No.
Fuck you.
But i still responding to him telling him step by step how to do shit with some swearing and sarcasm.
ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR SHITS, MATE7 -
14 hour deploy.
Four. Teen. Hours.
Fuck you dotnet Core. Fuck you NuGet. Fuck you IIS. Fuck you Windows. Fuck you Microsoft. Fuck it all. I'm fucking tired. Fuck!15 -
THEY PULLED IT OFF! THEY FUCKING DID IT. FUCK YES!
GO SPACEX
TO THE MOON
TO THE MARRS
AND FURTHER23 -
So... I just remembered a story that's perfect for devrant.
My brother got into engineering in university, and during the second semester they had their introductory class to programming. They had weekly homeworks that the lecturer would check and give grades accordingly.
The factors that could influence the grading were: execution (meaning that the code would excecute as intended), efficiency and readabilty. The weeks passed and everyone was doing well, getting fairly good grades. Everyone was happy.
Until one day a random guy we'll call bob got the worst grade possible. Bob wasn't a bad student. He had over-the-average grades in all the weekly homeworks and even impressed the professor in some. Naturally, he was baffled when he saw his grade on the google spreadsheet. He was pretty sure his code ran well. He always tested it on different machines and OSs. So, at the end of the class, he went straight to the helper of the class, in a pretty imperative manner, to demand to know how the fuck he got that grade. It's impossible he got excecution, efficiency and readabilty, wrong. All three wrong? Impossible. Even the stupidiest kid in the class had some points on readabilty.
"Oh, so you are Bob. Huh?" said the helper in a laid-back attitude. "Come with me. Prof. X is waiting for you in his office."
This got Bob even more confused. As they approached the office, the courage he had in a first moment banished and gave way for nervousness and fear.
The helper nocks the door. "Prof., Bobs here"
As soon as Bob sits in the chair in front of Prof. X's, he knew something bad was coming.
"In all these years of teaching..." said Prof. X hesitantly. "In all these years of teaching I have not come even close to see something similar to what you've done. You should be ashamed of yourself." Needless to say, Bob was panicked.
"In all these years I have not seen such blatant mockery!" added the professor. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DARE TO SEND A HOMEWORK WITH SUCH VARIABLE NAMING" That's when Bob realised the huge mistake he made. "NEVER IN ALL THESE YEARS I HAVE SEEN SOMEONE NAME HIS VARIABLES *opens the file on his desktop *: PENIS, SHIT, FUCKSHIT, GAYFUCKING<insert Prof. X's name>MAN, GOATSE, VAGINAVAR, CUMFUNCTION, [...]" The list of obcenities went on and on. In each word, the professor hit the table harder than the last time.
Turns out Bob felt so in comfort with the ease of the course he decided to spice things up by using "funny naming conventions" while coding, and then tidying everything up before uploading the homework. This week he forgot, and fucked it big time.
So remember folks, always check your code before committing/giving it in/production. And always adhere to naming conventions.9 -
FUCK YOUR OPEN SPACE OFFICE!!!!
AND FUCK YOUR HOT DESKING!!!
As a developer, is it too much to ask for a quiet section? 😭18 -
Friend just asked me to quickly type some stuff he quoted. Fair enough, I like helping out!
"you'll have to do it on windows though"
Ah that's alright haha.
*types in word for 15 minutes, one page done*
(note: genuine word and windows 10 without bloatware etc etc)
*presses ctrl+s*
*clicks save as*
*computer freezes*
😓😨
*waits anxiously*
*computer unfreezes*
*phew*
*presses save as again*
*BLUE SCREEN*
MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT. SOMEONE PLEASE DESTROY THIS FUCKING SNAKE LICKING, DOG EATING, COCK SUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM.
FUUUUUUUUUCK.35 -
When you accidentally open the emulator when you already have 7 android studio projects, 20 opera tabs ,code::blocks,u torrent, sublimetext and a word document open
9 -
Why the hell do people call smartphones by Apple "iPhones"?! Whenever people call their phones iPhones I start calling my phone by the model number.
Idiots: Oh no! I've lot my iPhone 7s!
Me: Oh no! I've lost my Oppo A37f pink edition!
See, sounds stupid right? Imagine it in everyday life!
-We're packing for camp! You! Take your North Face N638 grey
-Done!
-You, other guy! You will ride your BMX X Black!
See? It does sound stupid!
TL;DR
If you're saying iPhone, you're a fucking idiot. (it's like saying Googling instead of searching the internet)43 -
Fuck Windows server. Fucking fuck it. How fucking difficult can it be to create a fucking backup. Motherfucking fuckity fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck.9
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I'm 20, and I consider myself to be as junior as they come. I only started programming seriously in June 2016,and since then, I've been doing mainly Android Work, and making my own servers and backends(using AWS/Firebase nd stuff).
For the first time in life, I was approached by a recruiter for a company on linkedIn. They "stumbled upon" my Github profile and wanted to see if I was interested in an internship opportunity. This company is an early stage start up, by that I mean a dude with an idea calling himself the CEO and a guy who "runs a tech blog" and only knows college level C programming (explaination follows).
So they want me to make the app for their startup. and for that, I ws first asked to solve a couple problems to prove my competence and a "technical interview" followed.
They gave me 3 questions, all textbook, GCD of 2 numbers, binary search and Adding an element to the linked List, code to be written on a piece of paper. As the position was that of an Android Developer, I assumed that Java should be the language of choice. Assumed because when I asked, the 'tech blogger' said, yeah whatever.
But wait, that ain't all, as soon as I was done, Mr. Blogger threw a fit, saying I shouldn't assume and that I must write it in C. I kept my cool (I'm not the most patient person), and wrote the whole thing in C.
He read it, and asked me what I've written and then told me how wrong I was to write 2 extra lines instead of recursion for GCD. I explained that with numbers large enough, we run the risk of getting a stackoverflow and it's best to apply non recursive solution if possible. He just heard stackoverflow and accused me of cheating. I should have left right then, but I don't know why, I apologized and again, in detail explained what was happening to this fucktard. Once this was done, He asked me how, if I had to, I'd use this exact code in my Android App. I told him that Id rather write this in Java/Kotlin since those are the languages native to Android apps. I also said that I'd export these as a Library and use JNI for the task. (I don't actually know how, I figured I can study if I have to).
Here's his reply, "WTF! We don't want to make the app in Java, we will use C (Yeh, not C++, C). and Don't use these fancy TOOLS like JNI or Kotlin in front of me, make a proper application."
By this I was clear that this guy is not fit to be technical lead and that I should leave. I said, "Sir, I don't know how, if even possible, can we make an Android App purely in C. I am sorry, but this job is not for me".
I got up and was about to leave the room, when we said, "Yeah okay, I was just testing you".
Yeah right, the guy's face looked like a howling monkey when I said Library for C, and It has been easier for me to explain code to my 10 year old cousin that this dumbfuck.
He then proceeded to ask me about my availability, and I said that I can at max to 15-20 hours a week since my college schedule is pretty tight. I asked me to get him a prototype in 2 months and also offered me a full time job after I graduate. (That'd be 2 years from now). I said thank you for the offer, but I am still not sure of I am the right person for this job.
He then said, "Oh you will be when I tell you your monthly stipend."
I stopped for a second, because, money.
And then he proceeded to say 2 words which made me walk out without saying a single word.
"One Thousand".
I live in India, 1000 INR translates to roughly $15. I made 25 times that by doing nothing more than add a web view to an activity and render a company's responsive website in it so it looks like an app.
If this wasn't enough, the recruiter later had the audacity to blame me for it and tell me how lucky I am to even get an offer "so good".
Fuck inexperienced assholes trying shit they don't understand and thinking that the other guy is shitsworth.10 -
I fucking hate MySQL and MariaDB!
Why the cunting sideways buzzsaw horsefuck doesn't the fucking, shit-stained, arse-licking password work WHEN I JUST FUCKING SET IT?
I'm pretty fucking sure I entered the same fucking password, because I fucking COPIED it. FUCKING HELL!
Every motherwhoring time I have to set this faulty, buggy, fucked up piece of shit database up, it get the same fucking problems, and there is never a logical reason for it. I can't be the only one who has these problems, every goddamn time! Who actually uses this piece of shit unless they absolutely fucking have to?
FUUUUUUCK!42 -
This is a fucking mess!!!
Refactor?!?!?!?!
Fuck it...
File > New Project
Yeah, fuck it. It'd be easier to just start over.9 -
Yeah, make a tutorial for a technology experts for which are well-sought after, and waste everybody's time right away by doing an extra shitty job explaining what the fucking technology is all about.
Who the flying rat's glans decides to learn a framework or programming language without at least being informed about what the fuck it is or what the hell it's used for before getting knee-deep into learning it, you stupid, fucking pickle tickler!
Just get on with it! JUST GET THE FUCKING HELL ON WITH IT, ARSEHOLE!5 -
I FUCKING HATE THE YOUTUBE MOBILE APP!
I hate how it always 'magically' becomes the freaking default again, I hate its UI, I hate the eye cancer inducing red, and I fucking hate that it's there in the first place.
It's nothing but a useless, obtrusive, annoying piece of shit spyware, and always the first thing I radically kill and remove when I've rooted a phone.
FUCK GOOGLE!20 -
Fucking Libre Office Calc, you goddamn, motherwhoring, assnugget of a stupid fucktard's mental outpouring, FUCKING GIVE ME THE SUM OF VALUES, YOU CUNT!
Why the SHIT won't you fucking do what you're supposed to do?
I mark all single rows, click sum and I get '###' whatever the cunting shit that means, but when I copy the same motherfucking rows into a different column the summing, suddenly and magi-fucking-cally works. No formatting problem, no size problem, no shit, it just won't goddamn work in it's correct place — WHY?!
I want to individually TORTURE AND KILL every single one of your fucking developers! I'm so FUCKING PISSED OFF by now, I'd rather use fucking MS Excel than this goddamn Open Source project, at least Microshits shit software works in THIS regard, and I can't believe I had to FUCKING say that!
I hope you LibreOffice bastards all catch the same veneral disease and your whole fucking families die from it, you worthless pieces of shit!26 -
I’m doing this guys website for FREE. As a favor to my mom. This is the shit I have to deal with as thanks.
He gave me some images he wanted on his new site I’m developing on Tuesday. Woke up to this email.
10 -
Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it15 -
Why the fuck would anyone still want to support IE? It's 2018 for fuck sake! Sure, there's no reason a website shouldn't work on IE, but do I really need to fuck it up just because something doesn't properly align in IE?
Fuck IE! Why can't we just let it die?13 -
So the Microsoft rage continues as I tell a story about my father, the company that he works for and that companies whole IT structure.
So my father is forced to use Windows because, get this (he hates W10 with a burning passion, like me).... Office and other crap. Cool cool
Seems like Libreoffice isn't enough for you.... YES IT FUCKING IS. MY DAD GAVE ME EXAMPLE DOCUMENTS FROM HIS WORK AND GUESS WHAT, THEY ALL OPEN WITHOUT A FUCKING PROBLEM. But OK, maybe not all employees are familiar with Libreoffice/Openoffice, JUST KIDDING THEY ARE SOME FUCKTARDS WHO WORK FOR THEIR COMPANY THAT DON'T KNOW HOW TO FILL OUT A FORM IN EXCEL (aka. PROBABLY NEVER USED AN COMPUTER IN THEIR LIFE/OFFICE SPACE AMNISH). Okay, some employees might be incapable, but their infrastructure might be alright.
IT RUNS ON MICROSOFT SQL AND DIVX (YES, FUCKING DIVX, CAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE) FROM..........2008.
At this point I just feel bad for them. Because there were no IT guys at the company (they didn't understand shit that I said half of the time). I've warned them that their infrastructure might have more holes than fucking swiss cheese. I see they value their data since the front door is a 60 kg one (that's 132 lb in retard units). And there's a 1.8 m fence around the building.
And they've told me that the parent company, which hosts the server also hosts for 100+ other companies around the world.
100+, you say. I'm legit scared for them right now.
So naturally, I've asked them if they have backups... they do, thank god.
But still they use 2008 shit in 2018 and expect it to be secure. Fun fact, logging into their server (which is an HTTP running on Windows Server...... 2008 (that hurts to say)) with a browser other than.... not Edge.... but IE, *drum roll* breaks it, since... it runs authetication dll's (YES FUCKING DLLS) on the host system. THOSE POOR MOTHERFUCKERS COULDN'T EVEN SETUP SERVER SIDE AUTHENTICATION. EVEN CHANGING THE PASSWORD REQUIRES A FUCKING SYSADMIN TO BE CONTACTED, OH YEA YOU CAN'T SINCE THERE ARE NONE.
GOOD DAY TO YOU <INSERT COMPANY>, SORRY BUT YOU'LL GET FUCKING OBLIRIATED IF SOMEBODY DECIDES TO HACK YOU.11 -
Whoever thought it was a great fuck idea to use backslash instead of forward slash in paths, fuck you. Fuck you.7
-
So yesterday was a regular old day where I came into the office and began my work. My office mate that sits next to me happens to be having an issue with her batch script. It wasn't running correctly so she had decided to call in IT and have them take a look at it. What she was trying to do was process some images through a dedicated super-computer located on site.
So as you can imagine with both of them standing right next to me it was hard not to listen in on their conversation. The IT guy decided to go through a barrage of different troubleshooting methods to figure out what was happening with her script. And soon enough they discovered what was wrong. It happened to be an issue with how Windows decides to deal with new line characters. FYI it looks like this shit "\n \r"
The fucking \r looked like a directory to Linux. So it would squeal to a halt every single time she tried to run.
How this happened was due to her using notepad to edit her batch file.
At this point, I made a comment about her use of Notepad.
"Oh, you're using notepad? I've had similar issues like this in the past when I've used notepad. I really hate notepad." I said with a slight chuckle.
And that was pretty much the end of our encounters. However, at the end of the day, she decided to speak up about this.
"I don't appreciate you making comments about my use of Notepad. That was a form of microaggression towards me, and I don't want you to do it again."
Completely taken aback I replied.
"I'm sorry you took it that way, it was a joke and wasn't meant to be taken personally."
"Well, your intent does not change impact. And by the way, I take pride in my code and scripting. I don't need your commentary about my code nor your micro-aggressions." She said in a huff.
"Well again, I'm sorry you feel that way," I replied back
*I'd like to say that this situation is loosely paraphrased, but the essence of what happened is still there.
At this point, this is what I have to say about this situation. Why the FUCKING FUCK are you using notepad to program anything. There ARE A SHIT TON of differing programs that are available for your use and you decide to use fucking notepad?!?! $%&*@#$^
You could use notepad++, you could use Sublime, you could use every-fucking-thing except Notepad!!! If anything I think I had every right to make a comment about your stupid use of notepad. And darling, your script not working was well deserved, I hope you run into more errors like this because you deserve nothing less for your arrogance. So you can take your opinions and shove them up your fat-ass because at the end of the day I don't give a FUCK about your opinions on my micro-aggressions that you're spouting off about.
I suggest the next time you feel attacked about your code perhaps you should take a cold hard look at yourself before thinking that I'm the one that is the FUCKING problem.17 -
Just added Kotlin plugin to my new android project and what do you know, CPU went to 100% of usage.
Aaand the winner is: Fucking Android Studio!
22 -
Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.
FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me
S H I T !12 -
Made live code changes to production site... during peak visitation hours... things broke... no one noticed... Thug life.2
-
why the fuck do people on here like firefox quantum:
- windows: works, does its job well, but fuck it!
- php: works, does its job well, but fuck it!
- wordpress: kinda does its job, but fuck it!
- firefox quantum: works, does its job well, but ❤️ it15 -
My IT team installed Antivirus on my 5 year old Mac Mini due to company security policy after the recent Ransomware attacks.
Now my Mac is slow as fuck. They are not even providing me new Mac, due to budget constraints. Totally fucked.
Fuck Ransomware. Fuck security policies. Fuck my company. Fuck everyone. Fuck everything. 😤12 -
Just got word. I start in two weeks. Reducing commute by an hour. Bigger team, more possibilities. I could not be happier.3
-
What's the point of using a framework if you don't use any of its features!? What the heck, I have to fix this damn web frontend that is so broken in many ways.
Instead of using an authentication middleware, every single view has the same block of code to check if a user is authenticated. Instead of templates, they used static HTML/JavaScript files and they passed data to pages through cookies.
The "REST" API is so messed up, nothing is resource-oriented, HTTP methods are chosen randomly as well as status codes. They are returning "412 Precondition Failed" instead of a plain simple "401 Unauthorized" when you're not authenticated! What the hell, did they even bother to check what 412 is about when they copied and pasted it from a crappy website!? I would never come up with 412, not even in my scariest nightmare.
What kind of drugs were they using when they wrote such code? Oh dear, I need a vacation...3 -
Client: hey ***, happy birthday can you help me fixing....
Me thinking: hell no, i deal with yall fuckers 364 days a fucking year and yall can't leave me the hell alone for one cocksucking day. I need this one damn day a year not dealing with yall assholes where i don't snap and drive 300 fucking miles to not drive a nail in a broomstick and drive it up your fucking asdls7 -
This peice of shit PCWorld website. The fucking websites is auto playing video before it has even loaded the page completely. Fuck you fuck you PCWorld.6
-
Why the fuck is it raining right now and why the fucking-fuck does it cost 15 British money to ship 4 magazines to my apartment?
I also ran out of beer.
7 -
Fuck you StackOverflow! Why do you ban people who have a positive score? Shit, I'm raging right now. I have a positive fucking score! It is not because I asked a few questions that were not well received by your fucking elitist overrated frustrated community that I should be banned!
And fuck off I'm not a native english speaker, it is OBVIOUS that I won't be able to make perfect sentence in all contexts.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK19 -
FUCK I DID IT AGAIN I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOUTUBE ALL NIGHT WITH MY DATA OFF FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCK! IT WAS JUST RESET 2 DAYS AGO AND I WENT THROUGH IT ALL IN AN HOUR FUCK SHIT FUUUCK!
26 -
STUPID INCOMPETENT DUMB FUCK MOTHERFUCKING CUSTOMERS!!!!
NO MATTER HOW USER FRIENDLY THE USER INTERFACE IS DESIGNED, YOU'RE STILL INCOMPETENT TO USE IT.
GO FUCK YOURSELVES
FUUUUUUCCCCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2 -
Is a code truly tested until it has print("Fuck this"), print("Fuck that"), print("Fuck you"), print("Fuck me") spread along every code path?8
-
Decided I'm going to tell my boss I'm no longer going to do wordpress.
It all started innocently, like helping someone find an option or something, but now I have to write plugins...
Not part of the deal.
I've also got 0 motivation to go to work since starting this shitty project. I used to want to go to work and looked forward to helping out, but this is just soul numbing.
Let's see how that goes (either tomorrow or Wednesday).
I'll let you guys know if I get fired :p14 -
FUCK JOOMLA, SERIOUSLY FUCK IT. HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE TO REMOVE ONE FUCKING ITEM?! FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK7
-
Trying to debug some webpage JavaScript with Edge.
Console window doesn't log anything before you open it.
You cannot copy-paste more than a single line from it.
You cannot search in it.
Fuck. Just FUCK.11 -
About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.9
-
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
Programming made me fucking fat as fuck.
I went to Holmes Place after a 2 month no gym period to get counseling.
I have a whoppin 25% body fat and it makes me fucking depressed.
Fuck sitting in front of computers and programming for hours. Fuck snacks and fuck stayibg up late. That shit is bad for you.20 -
Friend: 'I have an idea you could totally do: a search engine for travellers that searches hostels, hotels, flights and resteraunts'
Me: 'yeahh I'm currently working on an e-commerse website. Should keep me.busy for a while'
Friend: 'integrate it into your website, it'd be silly not to'
Do people think we just click 'integrate idea' button for a living??!
Seriously the fux3 -
the fuck kind of manager are you that you tell your leads not to fucking answer their damn phones when services need restoring????? If your fucking team member can do his damn job like a grown ass adult, but sees that you (his lead) made a change and has questions, your ass better answer the phone, or i will rocket launch it up your ass, straight into your brain so it's the newest, latest, fucking hippest trend and hooked into your system so you answer every fucking call hands-free. Even when fucking "Windows Tech Support" calls you every 30 minutes because your keep expired.
There are people counting on you, worthless fuckwipe. Get. The. Fuck. Over. Yourself. And do your fucking job.
Edit: phone tried to censor me5 -
Fuck , fuck y'all who use hashtags where it doesn't work. Idiots adding hashtags to stories on WhatsApp, Snapchat. It hurts. Stop.
Join me in this revolutionary movement to stop hashtag abuse.17 -
Dev pickup lines:
Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉
Comment your best14 -
FUCK FUCKING FUCK NETBEANS MESSED UP SO I DELETED A PROJECT I'VE JUST BEN WORKING ON FOR THE PAST DAY AND I CAN'T RECOVER IT FUUUUUUUUUUUU5
-
I have a love and hate relationship with programming. You'll see me as the happiest and most motivated person ever. The next minute, you'll see me as an extremely depressed suicidal person. Then when a code works, I jump like hell.1
-
I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore. -
Today I woke up on a beautiful day, feeling well rested. Then I remember PHP is a thing and it all went to shit. FUCK YOU, FUCK SHIT FUCK6
-
Said it before and saying it again: FUCK YOU XCODE! This shit keeps on crashing 😒
https://devrant.io/rants/558740/...15 -
Fuck this shit, fuck it, take it down, smash it with a rock and fuck it. Fucking 18th century system where we are graded for a 2 hour work after 6 months of learning. Fuck the idiots who think reading from a piece of paper will teach us something. Fuck the sheep who follow without looking aside. Fuck the asshole who initiated it all, and fuck this shit. Thank you.9
-
FUCK YOU AVAST!!!!! Now it just randomly quaranteening my programs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't even be bothered to ask!!!!!!!!!!5
-
After concepting my game for years and having no real success bringing it to a playable medium, I've decided, fuck it, lets write a book.
I came up with too much lore and backstory for all the character's to go to waste!2 -
Him: Coding is completed. Just have to compile it.
You dumb fuck, go fuck yourself. Don't redefine meaning of complete. Get yourself a dictionary.1 -
devRant already replace SoundCloud as my orange app in the main screen...
To be fair, SoundCloud was just there to complete the rainbow.
Rant: this app told me that my rant would be safe if I closed the Post Rant window (since I can't post more than one rant per hour or something) but it didn't save my awesome tags! I feel betrayed.
23 -
fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCCCKKK FUCKING FUUUCKKKBKB
if you gave me a feature that has 2^5 posible output, but didn't give me all the possible inputs AND expect me to finish it for this thursday, THEN DONT GIVE ME EXTRA JOB ON A DRIVER THAT DOESNT WORK. FUCK2 -
Accidentally clicked Android studio while working and it freezed my system bad. Had to hard reboot it. FUCK THIS SHIT.5
-
nvidia makes me sick, nvidia fucks with my kernel, nvidia earned a place in hell, nvidia is shit, nvidia runs like garbage stuffed in to my motherboard, nvidia is so expensive, nvidia made my work harder and that's not what computers are meant to, nvidia's website sucks, nvidia has no solutions if you're running on GNU/Linux, nvidia owes me money, time and tons of coffee, nvidia is so much a pain in my ass.
nvidia is now on my shitlist, just before apple, followed by adobe.21 -
So my host of choice decided to migrate an old site to a new set of IPs without warning yesterday, down side to a VPS I guess.
Now this wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t on a dedicated IP you wankers.
DNS won’t resolve to new location yet and Virtual hosts contained the old IPs and for some fuck of a reason the httpd file is auto generated 😡so updating it will be lost on reboot.
Like What the flying fuck you imbeciles, this site has been up and running for 5+ years on this IP.
I barely do any maintenance for t as it’s just an old horse sitting on the web but fuck you don’t need to fuck with it or atleast give some fucking warning before you go drop it offline 😡1 -
FUCK ME!!
For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!
The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!18 -
Fucking IT and their self signed corporate proxy SSL bullshit getting in the way of anything that needs to verify SSL requests,
Fuck you for making my day a slow and miserable day and having to resort to forcing rest apis and SDKs to work over HTTP instead, all in the name of “Security”.2 -
Feeling sick as fuck. Stayed home instead of going to work but I am already upstet about what is happening whilst I am not there.
The manager was gracious enough to task the other developers with creating the templates for one of our projects. I submitted a document before stating our design guidelines and how under no circumstances they should not use bootstrap for the design since none of them know how to manipulate the source code enough to deviate from the standard bootstrap design. The lead developer, even tho I love the dude, has an attitude against new tech. He is primarily and only a php developer still in love with just jquery and php with no real knowledge of proper design methods. He is the kind of dude that would tell you that pdo is a waste of time and that why should we create models and use oop to separate our code into manageable files.
Today I get "why should we not use bootstrap" and shit like that.
Sigh.....i really don't want to see the shitstorm waiting for me tomorrow.
Funny how our cms administrator is eager to learn the list of technologies i proposed. They both gor Programming Ruby, the pickaxe holy book of Ruby and the dude is already halfway through it while the other developer is still asking why should we even bother when we have php.
I get the idea of if it ain't broken don't fix it and being proficient with one stack and whatnot. But that idea of i dont want to learn something new is precisely what shuts down progress.1 -
3 days, 3 fucking days into my annual leave and shit hits the fan right before Xmas weekend 🤯
Just one fucking week off seems too much ask these days let alone a few weeks, we are seriously talking about that pay check when I get back people 🤬2 -
Yes this is a rant about parents and work but I don't care!
So looks like my parents are going to kick me out because I don't have a full time job and according to them, I'm not looking...
I currently work in retail and have for the past 5 years and started working day 1 that I could have, been applying for IT positions when I'm one of the highest qualified on my area but get turned down so they can pay a teenager half the amount, apply for big retail chains that are "always hiring" like Coles, woolies and Kmart, get turned fucking down.
Don't qualify for government assistance as I'm just out of the earnings bracket, can't afford my own places, don't have my licence yet so I'm fucked...
But hey, atleast my parents will be rid of me and just dis-own me like my middle brother until I have a kid or they need tech support.
Why is getting work so fucking hard when you're qualified, I'm willing to even be a call centre guy but as soon as job possibilities come up I get fucked over time and time again -,-2 -
You know that feeling when you're coding late at night and you get an error that you just can't parse with your tired brain, and go FUCK IT ALL, FUCK IT ALL
I'm having that feeling right about now...
10 -
So, for my C class, the computers in the lab are using VS 2015. To be able to compile C we have to change some settings to allow the program to compile.
I like to use my computer (with Arch Linux) and use my tools (Vim and GCC).
The guy next to me was trying to do the homework, but he was struggling. I decided to give it a shot and I was able to do it, so I showed him my code and he tried it in the computer.
The program crashes every time no matter what. We asked the professor. I show him my code and how it's working. Apparently he was confused because I was using the terminal and not VS. So he proceeded to said that it's because I'm not using VS2015 and GCC is doing the whole work for me.
I'm like ಠ_ಠ and then he keeps saying that he doesn't know what or how GCC works (for real? Someone that teaches C and has a Ph. D on CS doesn't now what GCC is?) but that it is apparently doing everything for me. So my code should be wrong if it crashes on VS2015.... ಠ_ಠ
What do you think? I'm thinking about talking with the head department of CS (I know that he is a Linux guy) and see what happens. Should I do it? Or should I just use VS2015 as the "professor" is asking?
I even tried online compilers to see if it was just working on my computer, but even they use GCC to compile.7 -
The new Tab sets feature for windows insiders sucks.
Let's say you open notepad right...
There's a new tab button now. If you click the new tab button you expect a new instance of notepad to open inside a new tab.
but NNOOOOO.
Instead, a new instance if Microsoft fucking edge opens in a new tab. Yeah sure, you can SEARCH for notepad and then it will open in that new tab but that is horribly inefficient when I can just talk the windows key enter notepad and BAM! no need to open a new tab search then click some fucking link.
Oh and what about every other program on windows?? Same fucking thing! Every new tab just loads a new instance of Microsoft edge.
THIS IS OUR WORST NIGHTMARE BEING MANIFESTED IN REALITY.
WHY CANT EDGE JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY. I WANT INTERNWT EXPLORER 11 OR 9 BACK (but with stacked tabs and a much more standards compliant rendering).15 -
Fuck CSS
Fuck it in the ass
With a baseball bat
Lubbed with hot souce.
Want to change from this : http://rjpf.ddns.net/ to http://rjpf.ddns.net/index5.html
First uses w3 framework
Second is using css grid with no framework.
Did everything right as I saw on tutorials (no copy paste)
Only uses 25% of the screen
Now I understand why everyone tells me to use bostrap... But noooo I must learn css
Ps: not gonna learn frameworks without knowing pure css11 -
There is this project where the develop branch is "discontinued" because this moron "finished" a feature that is all fucking broken and I could not figure out how to solve all those merge conflicts...
I just gave up and told my stupid boss who just nods and laughs at everything... If it ever comes up I'm gonna tell them to get the fucker to solve it.1 -
Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUUCK. So there was a sale on just cause 3 on steam, like, it was godly. 85% off and I fucking missed it. FUCCK9
-
Today is going to be a long ass day :(
best way to start a saturday..
Receiving objects: 13% (866/6600), 740.01 KiB | 5.00 KiB/s
sometimes i think writing something new would be quicker then downloading it.2 -
Fuck you Apple! What the fuck does it mean for you “deactivate WiFi detection until tomorrow”? Does it mean activate it like 5 Minutes later? And why the fuck if I close your fucking WiFi screen choice do you open it up again straight after closing it?
Fuck you.
P.s.: who want an iPhone X at discounted price?10 -
It boils my blood how many times I pressed ctrl+w closing the current tab instead of saving it FUCK6
-
WHY THE FUCK DID MICROSOFT INSTALL A NEW KEYBOARD LAYOUT AFTER THE LAST WINDOWS 10 UPDATE AND IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO REMOVE IT?! fuck it for fucks sake5
-
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
I hate forgetting, I spend so much time learning and keep fucking forgetting, wasting time relearning. I hate it that’s stupid5 -
Happy Christmas fuckers.
I don't normally swear, but I'm with family in Ireland and I'm not the designated driver for once, so fuck it.
Have a good one!1 -
Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!5
-
Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!
You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!
Sincerely,
Me.
Edit: now it's 9:35 btw6 -
Work of a my co-workers good work! It's called colspan you dumb fuck! Best part is that no way I'm changing this coz I work in place where they don't give a fuck about code quality! So fuck it!
7 -
So how the fuck am I meant to get any work done with no admin access to my machine, no access to the databases I need to work with, firewall rules stopping me from doing anything from AWS so I can’t get to my data? Deadline in about a week... fuck that noise!5
-
This fucking weather. Oh this fucking weather. Neither can you go out, nor can you code. WHY THE FUCK WAS I BORN TO BURN IN THE TROPICS?
Feels like among all the assholes, the Sun likes to screw me the most.
FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK THIS SHIT. FUCK IT.
FUCK YOU SUN FUCK OFFFFFFFF!! TAKE SOME LIME JUICE AND FUCK YOU BEFORE THE WINTER ARRIVES.13 -
Yo i know this shit is discussed way too often, but it kills me from the inside:
In that one coding class we get some source files where only the function bodies are missing (i know, sounds childish).. but it uses this style
function()
{
...
}
I fuCKING HATE THIS GODDAMN RETURN THERE WHAT THE HELL WHO FINDS THIS BULLSHIT AESTHETIC ALL SPACEY SO YOU SCROLL YOUR ASS OFF WHEN FILES GET LONGER THAN 2 FUNCTIONS?😔8 -
Fuck Shibboleth and its documentation, fuck examples for configuring it, ops sorry they have no examples at all so fuck them, fuck SAML fuuuuck!!!!! And I almost forget FUCK JAVA2
-
I fucking hate having to name something.
I mean it should be short, easy to memorize and sum up the project.
Fuck it... Proto0 it is5 -
Sometimes you just have to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on
Very applicable to my life the past few days2 -
fuck..fuck..FUCK..FUCK YOU MANTIS!!!
fuck you and your fucking invalid security token... fucking cunt...
yeah i love extracting my notes from POST data via the browser dev console cause you fucking delete it when hitting the back button...
THANKS FOR NOTHING -
Well. I'm simply SO UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE PISSED RIGHT NOW!! {>,,,<}
I'm implementing a monolithic frontend that embeds different projects which I don't want to alter if not really necessary. So I put them all into iframes, already handled all the security and auth stuff with proxies and so on and now I just want to access the body.scrollHeight property. Which is not even the probelm at all.
The fucking Problem is, that I just can't find a way to hook into any event which fires when all content is loaded and the final scrollHeight is set. Instead it just returns some default value that is set when the iframe element is loaded, but not something that is actually based on it's damn ass-fucking contents!!
Iframes are fucking pricks and I know I'll gonna go to hell for abusing them like this :S3 -
Wasted 2 hours of my life trying to make an actionbar display white text on a dark background after migrating the legacy code from ActionBarSherlock to the supportactionbar.
And guess what? That fucking actionbar still displays black text.
What. The. Fuck.
Giving up on this for today...3 -
Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me...
I restarted the computer while it was moving around partitions with data on it and it looks like it's all corrupted now. And the worst of it is that I don't have a backup.
Stupid me ughhhhh5 -
Is alcohol an acceptable graduation gift to present at a strict Christian family gathering? 🤔 fuck it.13
-
Just posting the rant a team mate gave today after nothing worked:
Fuck ionic... fuck Karma... fuck webstorm and fuck this company.
After he said it he went home.
I could totally understand him because I felt the same way1 -
I don't understand why they're still calling it SSL. It was buried long ago by TLS.
Fuck this marketing bullshit, just fucking call it TLS already.1 -
Fuck corporate proxies. Fuck having to debug them, fuck figuring out how to use them with every piece of software you need, fuck failed builds due to some repository surprisingly being blocked for unknown reason and, most of all, fuck IT staff who deny there was a problem once it mysteriously disappears.1
-
Sooooo this is the thing.
For a stupid fucking project at work we basically have to scrum manage a bunch of individual components on a rather large web app.
We start with the html and css and js bs and we all have to work on different sections of one page at a time. Large blocks right? Ok cool.
Originally I had suggested to build everything inside individual php files and then stack them up with require(). As fucking simple as fucking that. Except that the manager does not have php on her pc. The other two developer don't either. I am the only one that fucks with php OUTSIDE our fucking servers.
Go fucking figure...the lead developer does not fuck with php outside the servers.....man
So, because i know it would be a shitstorm with something as basic as installing i dunno...fucking xampp my manager said that she needs a different solution.
Fuck it...fine...whatever. i know go. So i make a fucking server wich upon being fired you can just code the templates and paste them where they need to go. Docs and everything..a sane folder structure and everything and a fucking pipleline for the assets and everything. I would have thought that shit was good enough but I even added a cmd tool that merges all the fucking html files together into one html file with all the shit included.
All in Golang. It works, its fast and i can just give them the fucking folder with the exe and it will work.
I dunno if this was the best way to do it. But it took me maybe 20 mins to do it and it works.
I would have expected our manager to be impressed but she legit did not gave two fucking shits about the fact that one of her developers is able to create this mini server for static sites shitstain project in 20 minutes.
Man I don't want praise. She thinks that jquery is the best thing in the world so I don't expect much. But shit man.......a better reaction would have been better. She basically went meh ok as long as it works.
I also showed them a demo of a flutter project to replace the shitty ass webview filled school app that they have for android and ios. Shit is native and it looks beautiful. Ask me what she said.
Go on, fucking ask me.
She said tha if it would take me much time to continue on that the she would rather leave it to the third party vendor that currently makes the app.
I told her that such shitty app costs the school 40 fucking thousand dollars a year that I could do in a fucking month, which would also be better since it would raise the salaries of me and the other 2 developers and will more importantly make us more valuable to the school.
Said that she would think about it because we have a lot of projects.
I
Fucking
Hate
It
When someone fucks with my ability to make more money. I hate it fam. And i fucking despise being limited by other people.
Fuck this week.
I am never gonna grow in here. Ever. But it pays the bills so fuck it.6 -
Entrepreneurship is a gamble. Problem is, you re not dealt any cards. You re dealt a gun with one bullet4
-
Fucking sharepoint
I’m fuckin done, editing this website layout is like teaching a kid with ie brain, worse is I need to use a fuckin sharepoint designer 2013 and I’m working on online sharepoint so everytime I saved something it’s delayed and my screen acts like having a motherfuckin seizure when I accidentally scrolled it. Not to mention grid doesn’t work here so I need to lay it out the fuckin old way. Oh the client also wants a fancy navbar so I literally hide the sharepoint desinger navbar and using js create my own navbar inside the container. Fuck you for creating this shit and actually sell it to people, it’s like working on a fucking old tech6 -
I like these rants beginning with "fuck!!!"
It makes me feel unbelievable good!
It literrallycleans up my brain!!!!!!
Fuck!1 -
Second fecking time since January, I thought these things were meant to be "low maintenance"! (Though in fairness this time is sort of my fault, I may have accidentally edited the MacOS Python files instead of the downloaded ones)
3 -
Maybe it's just cause I fucking hate the elitism in the engineering college and every engineer I've met, but why do devs want to be called engineers? I'm a programmer, a developer, a coder, fucking anything rather than an engineer.
I associate that word with know-nothing "book-smart" fuckwads who think they're better than everyone, even someone doing the same thing without their useless degree.7 -
FUCKING SANGOMA WTF???????
You buy FreePBX and then convert great modules from OPEN SOURCE to Commercial.... I get it. Developers need to eat. But I've reviewed the new features and you aren't adding value. Just hiding precious standards behind a pay wall.
FUCK IT. I'LL CODE THIS SHIT MYSELF.1 -
So, today is the final day of my internship, and I was almost done, until my fucking assface of a client calls me, and suddenly want 10000000 fucking things changed in a database, and I'm not just talking "Could you add this field?" Or make this default to that, no I'm talking change of relationships, schemas and the whole shebang, oh and suddenly the product also needs localization for 3 fucking languages, but it hasn't been built for this shit. Thank God my assessment was yesterday, I just noped right out of here.
People, don't be dicks, think what you want your product to be before starting the development1 -
Alright apache2.2 with php5.6 session upload progress works, client has apache2.4 and php7 on his server...now... WHY THE HELL DON'T IT WORK. All THE DAMN REQUIREMENTS ON THE DAMN DOCS ARE THERE. Fuck i could have went to bed and made the same progress18
-
Gotta love it when your client tells his whole company that they can contact you for any question related to computers. I'm a fucking developer and no first level Microsoft Windows support.2
-
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
Like seriously, I don't want to see this shit. I HADN'T TOLD YOU TO SHOW ME THIS SHIT YET YOU STILL FORCE ME TO. I never set the keyboard to Danish. And in fact, IT'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Then why for he love of god do you think I need to have the option to change my keyboard to Danish when I have insisted on not having this option. Is it because my locale is set to Danish? Is that it? I'll gladly change my locale then ffs, but THIS SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.
My Windows display language is English, when I installed this shit I even set the keyboard to English US, I even disabled the change keyboard shortcut because I knew that for some reason Windows would find a way to add a Danish layout. SOMEHOW.
2 -
Final year of my diploma in Information Tech, I overhear a coursemate, well-known know-it-all, explaining what Javascript is:
"It's somewhat like Java but it's used for scripting purposes."
I swear to the Lord Almighty, I wish I could drive my palm through my face.2 -
What?! I mean what the fuck?! How it become sooo late? Why is devrant eating all my time? Fuck you devRant! I fuck you too!
-
All of the web design agencies in my area who couldn't give less fucks about designing good looking websites can suck my cock. I take this personal because I'm passionate about my craft. I'm coming for your clients and I'm taking you out of business in the following months and years. Fuck you!6
-
!rant; story(well, kinda)
I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");3 -
You know you should tidy up some space when your ssd has more space left then your hard drive
I still have a second hard drive, but I'm too lazy to move either my steam games or my programs over there...
The time will hit me when the last GB has been used2 -
Funny how fucken emojis, which came into applications (web or even native) by completely overusing them on mobile, don't really work on mobile.2
-
fuck you office365, almost all fucking services. It is so fucking slow, takes ages to open 1 fucking email with only attachments. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!6
-
Appreciate you clear vision, fucking devs. It sucks for us to be powerless without eyeglasses. Fuck this shit! Fuck it.4
-
WP's `get_template_part()` - What the fuck? Really? I think it should have been called: `confusingIncludeWAT()`3
-
if (!rant) Fuck oranges
else
It's about time we make some God fucking damn things fucking God fucking clear. What the fuck does programming have to do with fucking non-programming?
Honestly. Fucking fucks pretending to be fucking programmers (probably not you, but fuck off if you're one of those fuckers.) FUCK SUCH PEOPLE FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK fuck FUCK!
There. Now that's out there. Leave fucking programming to the fucking fuckers who fucking know some-fucking-thing fucking ab-fucking-out it. If you're learning, ask questions, without you there'd be no fucking future for good fucking programmers. But if you're a fucking fuck fucking ducks in the fucking park--fuck the God fucking damn the fuck OFF!3 -
Fuck fuck fuck I can't even read this source code let alone abstract the core algorithm from it. Fuck C++ and fuck this extremely non verbose code and plethora of syntactic sugar that makes it impossible for anyone who doesn't know the nuances of the language to read it. You could literally put me in the middle of a country where nobody speaks English and i would still have an easier time than I am now.4
-
Reinstalled windows.
Now it updates.
Stayed for 10 freakin minutes on "Working on updates. 100% complete. Don't turn off your computer!" and then went back to 0%. FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RUN LOL ON UBUNTU. FUCK FUCK FUCK.3 -
So my friend and I have been casually talking about developing some indie games. I, being the one who knows programming, tried convincing him to learn some code.
Me: Hey, did you read the books?
Him: What books?
Me internally: ‘ok, maybe he just used some of the online guides’
Me: How’s [code learning app]
Him: Oh! I downloaded that the other day!
Me: Oh cool! What’s your account name?
Him: oh, I downloaded it but never actually opened it
Me internally:’fuuuuuuuuu-‘
Me: Did you learn any programming?
Him: nope
Me: WELL THEN FUCKING LEARN IT!!!!!
We don’t really talk to much anymore.1 -
In your opinion, should little projects for IT enterprises be developed in C#?
Because in my eyes, The .NET Framework should not be used for innovation - related projects.
It has many qualities like you can do almost anything with it but it's heavy, difficult to adapt and you're really dependent to what Microsoft added in.12 -
I just failed assembly (asm8068) course for the 2nd time.
I feel devastated because it will delay my diploma.
Fuck assembly, and fuck schools who still make it a required course.16 -
I hate it when an opinion is valued by someone seniority.
Sure, you might not like react, fine, but if your only argument for that is it being built by Facebook, you're just an ass.
Sure, you might not like node, fine, but if your only argument for that is your prejudice towards javascript , you're just an ass.
Normally this guy is pretty nice, but fuck you for talking about shit you don't understand6 -
HOLY FUCK! How can you be that stupid , fuck me Im literally losing business as we speak
(Yes I tried to continue it) #dontgiveup3 -
The moment when you get an answer that makes you feel like your question was legitimate at SO but ultimately the answer doesn't really solve your problem....
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Objective: drill a huge hole in the Apple!
Following rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1564522/...
So... Apple music store saves the music in m4a in the app folder, so no other apps can access the music.
It saves it with wird file names, no structure.
I'm noob at basicly anything, and because I'm on vacations I have a cellphone with python basicly.
How can I get the music info from the files, change the files names to their singer/group + song music and latter sort them in folders by artist, then by album4 -
In the trains which are crowded so much that you can't see your feet, fuck those idiot shits who can read a fucking newspaper, even if they have to hold it over their head. Fuck you, fuck your stupid news addiction, fuck your newspaper!5
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Probably should be sleeping seeing it's 11PM but fuck it... Lets rewrite my entire display and camera systems and hope nothing else breaks in the process!
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when you get mad at your dumb mac laptop and 777 your user directory because apple does dumb things with permissions.1
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rentRant
Simply rent a high rated rant and feel awesome at least once in life (and get free swag). Don't miss this opportunity!
Only 13.37 a month! Order cow!5 -
You know it's bad when you've planned a word addon thats sole purpose is to do mail merges.
I've done guides and shown people how to do them. Still comes to me the bloke in IT to do a simple mail merge because googling it is too complex.
It's going to be epic it will hold their hands let them know they are bestest cupcake out of the whole batch.
The progress bar will be a rainbow and each button will sparkle. Because If I get taken of my dev work to do another fucking mail merge I'll probably quit on the spot.
And I do not have the savings readily available to hold me over until I got a new job.
Knob sockets the lot of em.1 -
Cable/Internet outage. Tried to contact ISP (Mediacom, who are awful)... Reported outage over an hour ago, but no update.
So, I figure it's time to call then...
In support app, selected "Call someone now." Selected sevices. Drop-down for "Tap down arrow for list"... contains the single placeholder "Tap down arrow for list". Plus, of course, you cannot submit the form without making a selection from the list.
Fuck your fucking support app right in the java-hole, Mediacom.
I did not need any more reasons to hate you - you are already at the top of my list, with no one else remotely close behind.
3 -
<rant>
FFS
Windows is the worst garbage ever...
First I get a virus becouse the antivirus didn't fucking work, then I try and do a system reset WICH FAILS, them u have to get into the uefi and do a system reset back to Windows 8, Windows 8..
So I go to the windows insider program and download the media creator thing and
.
.
IT DOESN'T WORK
It just stops at "searching for updates"and now I'm stuck with Windows 8
I can't even get the Nvidia drivers so i can't play games anymore
A big fuck you to Microsoft and merry Christmas
Btw any fixes? Thank you
</rant>9 -
What the fuck is a "pre test"? And why the fuck do you call it if there are no other tests after it? Get your shit together pm!!!!
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I FIGURED IT OUT! PAYPAL EXPRESS CHECKOUT NOW RESIDES UNDER BY REIGN. HAIL ME I'M A FUCKING GENIUS FUCK YE I LOVE PAYPAL HELL THE FUCK YEAH! fuck carrots though
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FUCK YOU SYNCFUSION, JUST FUCK YOU!! TRYING TO USE YOUR FUCKING LINEAR GRAPHS AND THEY NEVER FUCKING WORK!!! THEY DON'T ADAPT THEIR OWN BOUNDS, THEY DON'T SHOW LABELS EVEN THOUGH I'M FUCKING TELLING YOU TO SHOW THEM AND EVEN WHEN I ADD HEADERS YOU REFUSE TO SHOW THEM!! AND FOR SOME GODDAMN FUCKING REASON, WHENEVER I USE A TABBED PAGE YOU JUST GO UP AND FUCKING THROW AN "UNKNOWN EXCEPTION" JUST FUCK IT FUCK YOU , FUCK YOUR GRAPHS, FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!2
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I think I'm just starting to lose my patience...
For some fucking reason, the fucking "POST" gets outputted on the GET request, and the GET "elseif" doesn't show up.
W.
T.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!
11 -
Try to upload ipa archive to iTunes. Service is interrupted. Again. Fuck you apple! I was trying to upload that fuck for six damn u punk ass times. Why apple? Fuck you! I'll put the archive on a stick an ram it right into your ass you shitty fuck! JUST TAKE MY BINARY RIGHT NOW!
Don't take it to serious. I'm okay 😎 -
!dev
For fuck sake I hate this day already and its only 10am. I had to go to an exam. I live 200km away from my uni (only have a few classes, so collage is not worth it). I woke up at 4.30 to arrive in time. My car was wrecked 2 weeks ago so I've asked for my mother's car and guess what?... That fucker died on the road. Had to call my dad at 5.50 AM.
I've managed to arrive 7.58 at the classroom, and that retarded dimwit dared to tell me that next time I should hurry (exam started at 8), because they'd already started.
During the exam while I was literally sweating blood that same asshole comes to me that his pocket device detected data traffic coming from where I sit and whether I have a device switched on. It was me though, a devRant notification to be precise. Luckily he just asked me to switch it of, but that 2 minutes of fuckery could cost my pass grade.
Now I am heading back for the broken car to be towed back home. What a wonder-fucking-ful day I have today. And it is still a question, whether I will be able to go to work tomorrow or not.1 -
Fuck these apache2 and nginx configuration that fucking make my life miserable. Why can\'t I fucking edit the files inside /var/www/html? Fuck that. Why can\'t I access a subdirectory inside it? Fuck! In Node.js, you can fire up your server pretty easily. Then you tell us that JavaScript sucks? Fuck me dead.21
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I found that we cannot fuck any software or something like that, but those bitches can fuck us with errors, damn it :/
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I need to make a prototype. I've needed to make it for weeks. I need to have it made by the end of June.
Fuck you Netflix!
Fuck you right in the balls! -
So tired of app developers localizing app information with Google Translate. Use a real person that can READ AND WRITE IN THE FUCKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE or scrap the entire translation and do marketing in English. And Google? Why the fuck do you allow people to embarrass themselves by providing machine translated SHIT in the Store Listing options?
Some gems found on Google Play Store, translated from Norwegian to English the way I as Norwegian interpret them.
Reddit: Reddit is a collection of bank interest rate society: cats, piks, politics and more.
eBay: Offer, to buy, to sell. Turn pages offering and save on clothes Sjoeping, used cars and more
Huuuge Casino: New social castls and casino a sensation! Now play FREE!
And finally, devRant 😂: Social networks to get a contact with other developers than funny qalz about tekk.2 -
The website we where at for about a year now had about 4 different designs.
Maybe I was a bit slow with it and didn't try to be fast about it.
But it's not my fault I had to redesign the site 3 times
So, the project has just been dropped in the toilet.
I mean, I work at a company with is for learning apprentices and I didn't get additional pay for the site, but still, it's just another unfinished fucking project...
Nothing against the client she was nice and understanding of needs, limits and expectations
But the only thing I've finished so far is something small i did in my free time, rain programmed in JavaScript (with canvas) -
Trying to write some JavaScript (still learning it)
Why does the fucking
(function() {
})();
not work for starting a function below it?
Or above... I tried to fiddle with it too much, I'm just gonna leave it for now19 -
Today. Dropped in the middle of a project. Constant blocks. And no one will resolve them while demanding it be done next week.
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When you use ls to look at a directory other than your cwd, decide you don't need that folder and rm -rf * in your cwd.
tl;dr: Alias rm to mv before you regret it. -
I don't understand why the fuck it takes me more than a day to fucking make an svg work dynamically with its background and it still doesn't work for fuck sake
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When you get an assignment by mail,
- you do those changes exactly as being asked, albeit one insignificant extra visual thing,
- you send back exactly what's changed (which is exactly what was being asked, but naming things as they are, clearer than I can ever explain changes),
- you go to the person that has assigned the very thing, explain it, he seems to get it,
...
Then.. a few hours later.. you get a reply via mail:
"Come explain what you're saying here, because I don't get it."
🤨 -
Well... Finding a text editor/script runner for ruby has been one of the most arduous experiences in my programming career 💀 :/7
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public Geopoint(double latitude, double longitude)
{
Latitude = latitude;
Longitude = Longitude;
}
Me: "why is the longitude always 0"
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Good job that didn't make it onto Nuget... oh, wait, yeah it did.6 -
Programming is like when you need to clean up cables (make them look better).
You start motivated, you got a good idea of how you are going to it.... and after some time passes and you see nothing's better now... you say "fuck it" and continue to do what you wanted to do. -
So the views result counter global field in Drupal 8 doesn't like to be bothered with mathematic expressions in TWIG. FUCK FUKC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
It will render it's own value and seems to be cast as a string like other fields in the view but as soon as you try to increment it or multiply something by it, IT TURNS INTO ZERO!
😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 -
So I decided to learn sass today... Turns out you need to run that good old watch command every session to make your styling work...
It only took me 42 lifetimes to discover that one...1 -
I know everyone loves to rub reacts inner scrotum all the time cause its just so damn awesome and popular but for real, there is a 50 millisecond delay when react updates its states. In that 50 milliseconds, my program is using that reactive state numerous times so woohoo react, im gonna have to run a fuckin 50 millisecond timeout when updating any of my states that consist of anything more then a plain text value.
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Fuck you IBM IMS!
Efficient as fuck but extremly unforgiving if you want to do something it wasnt truly ment for...2 -
Fuck you arrays.
Why the fuck you want to start with '0'? Ohh I forgot If you will start with '1' then you can't fuck with us. Let it be you f***34 -
Why has to be axios sooo fucking bad? I just want to load one fuckin JSON. Server returns 200 but axios is trying to tell me it is fucking error.... Whyyyyy1
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I looked at my S7 edge and thought to myself... When am I fixing this goddamn screen?
It has been a few months now
And I'm not going to a shop if I can do it myself a lot cheaper.
I'm actually looking into how to repair it and what stuff I need, so far I know about b7000 glue to keep I water resistant after the repair, of course some prying tools, maybe a hair dryer, and of course the screen itself, anything missing or am I good to go?
Naturally, im gonna post rant if my repair fails... -
When you config and test a wireless router in office and works fine but that motherfucker doesn't work in 5meters height :|2
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