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When someone changes the API at 5pm without notice and you get a call at midnight that no one can login.
6 -
I once brought my Kali Linux laptop to school. (Because normal had dead battery, waiting for shipping)
MFW someone from the IT department is called in to fix teachers projector and he sees I still have the default dragon wallpaper on it.
MFW when recognises it it's Kali.
MFW he calls the police and my laptop gets taken away because 'its dangerous' and I get questioned in school.
The police came back a week later to check my laptop again. 'uhh we gotta check the logs'.
IF I WANTED IT TO BE DANGEROUS YOU'D BE FIXING A LOT MORE THAN JUST THE FUCKING PROJECTOR!
Also, wuddup devrant!13 -
I FUCKING MADE IT GUYS! I JUST PASSED THE HARDEST COURSE AT UNIVERSITY WHICH IS ABOUT DATA STRUCTURES AND ALGORITHMS! I DRAGGED THIS WITH ME A WHOLE YEAR AND I JUST GOT THE NOTIFICATION THAT I MADE IT. I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY GUYS I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!26
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FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FOR THINKING THAT THE FUCKING SAD FACE IN THE BLUE SCREEN IS APPROPRIATE!!!!!!!!
THAT SHIT IS WORSE THAN CLIPPY
WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO MAKE THE ERROR CODE IN SO SMALL PRINT???
YOU OWE ME 5 DAYS OF MY LIFE AND COUNTING!
NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN UNABLE TO DO MY JOB, I HAVE ALSO NOT BEEN ABLE TO VENT MY FRUSTRATION KILLING ALIENS, IF I HAVE TO SPENT ANOTHER DAY FIXING THIS STUPID COMPUTER I WILL SWIM ALL THEY WAY OVER TO AMERICA AND BITCH SLAP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR DEVELOPERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!28 -
> Receive sudden phone call in the middle of the night
> Check caller, unknown number
> "Either something bad happened or it's something urgent. I'd better answer."
> "Hello?"
> Friend of friend of friend says he updated his gpu drivers and now has some random fps drops.
> I was in a good mood so I agreed to help him over teamviewer, even though I don't know him.
> Downgrading to an older version of nvidia driver seemed to have fixed the drops.
> 5 minutes later, he calls again. His headset is not working properly.
> Helped him fix the issue over teamviever.
> This continued for at least 2 hours, calling me every 5 minutes to install just another driver or change some random win setting. Turned out he had some retard format his pc because he thought it'd "make it go faster".
> Calls me again, this time he's pc isn't booting up at all. After 20 minutes on the phone the fucktard admits he just tried to reformat his pc because "my pc automatically installed a bad windows update" ( no, I don't understand either) but he fucked it up.
> I begin explaining him how to make a bootable usb stick, how to change the boot order etc to reinstall windows. I even suggested that I'd help him setup win/drivers after windows's done installing.
> He lets me go for about an hour explaining.
> "So that's it. When the setup is over, call me again and I'll help you install the drivers."
> "Bro this sounds complicated, why don't you come over? This won't even take you 5 minutes"
YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
YOU FUCKING TRASH
CALL ME AGAIN AND I'LL SHOVE YOUR GIGABYTE GEFORCE GTX1060 6GB UP YOUR ASS, PERPENDICULARLY
The motherfucker even called me "bro"7 -
You know who sucks at developing APIs?
Facebook.
I mean, how are so high paid guys with so great ideas manage to come up with apis THAT shitty?
Let's have a look. They took MVC and invented flux. It was so complicated that there were so many overhyped articles that stated "Flux is just X", "Flux is just Y", and exactly when Redux comes to the stage, flux is forgotten. Nobody uses it anymore.
They took declarative cursors and created Relay, but again, Apollo GraphQL comes and relay just goes away. When i tried just to get started with relay, it seemed so complicated that i just closed the tab. I mean, i get the idea, it's simple yet brilliant, but the api...
Immutable.js. Shitload of fuck. Explain WHY should i mess with shit like getIn(path: Iterable<string | number>): any and class List<T> { push(value: T): this }? Clojurescript offers Om, the React wrapper that works about three times faster! How is it even possible? Clojure's immutable data structures! They're even opensourced as standalone library, Mori js, and api is great! Just use it! Why reinvent the wheel?
It seems like when i just need to develop a simple react app, i should configure webpack (huge fuckload of work by itself) to get hot reload, modern es and jsx to work, then add redux, redux-saga, redux-thunk, react-redux and immutable.js, and if i just want my simple component to communicate with state, i need to define a component, a container, fucking mapStateToProps and mapDispatchToProps, and that's all just for "hello world" to pop out. And make sure you didn't forget to type that this.handler = this.handler.bind(this) for every handler function. Or use ev closure fucked up hack that requires just a bit more webpack tweaks. We haven't even started to communicate to the server! Fuck!
I bet there is savage ass overengineer sitting there at facebook, and he of course knows everything about how good api should look, and he also has huge ass ego and he just allowed to ban everything that he doesn't like. And he just bans everything with good simple api because it "isn't flexible enough".
"React is heavier than preact because we offer isomorphic multiple rendering targets", oh, how hard want i to slap your face, you fuckface. You know what i offered your mom and she agreed?
They even created create-react-app, but state management is still up to you. And react-boierplate is just too complicated.
When i need web app, i type "lein new re-frame", then "lein dev", and boom, live reload server started. No config. Every action is just (dispatch) away, works from any component. State subscription? (subscribe). Isolated side-effects? (reg-fx). Organize files as you want. File size? Around 30k, maybe 60 if you use some clojure libs.
If you don't care about massive market support, just use hyperapp. It's way simpler.
Dear developers, PLEASE, don't forget about api. Take it serious, it's very important. You may even design api first, and only then implement the actual logic. That's even better.
And facebook, sincerelly,
Fuck you.17 -
The website i made has been hacked today.
Stored in their server.
They didnt give me an access for it.
The user account in the cms i used for updating content while building the website was revoked when the website is completed.
Now they ask me for the latest backup.
I have no backup because how the hell i do a backup when i got no access to the cpanel.
The only backup is the zip file for initial uploading into their server and the contents were added after the website is on their server.
That goddamn IT guy who wont give me any access for “securty sake” is calling me furiously asking for the backup and how to set up the stuffs from the beginning.
I thought he was the one who know his shit but i was wrong.
Fuck me?
No.
Fuck you.
But i still responding to him telling him step by step how to do shit with some swearing and sarcasm.
ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR SHITS, MATE7 -
So... I just remembered a story that's perfect for devrant.
My brother got into engineering in university, and during the second semester they had their introductory class to programming. They had weekly homeworks that the lecturer would check and give grades accordingly.
The factors that could influence the grading were: execution (meaning that the code would excecute as intended), efficiency and readabilty. The weeks passed and everyone was doing well, getting fairly good grades. Everyone was happy.
Until one day a random guy we'll call bob got the worst grade possible. Bob wasn't a bad student. He had over-the-average grades in all the weekly homeworks and even impressed the professor in some. Naturally, he was baffled when he saw his grade on the google spreadsheet. He was pretty sure his code ran well. He always tested it on different machines and OSs. So, at the end of the class, he went straight to the helper of the class, in a pretty imperative manner, to demand to know how the fuck he got that grade. It's impossible he got excecution, efficiency and readabilty, wrong. All three wrong? Impossible. Even the stupidiest kid in the class had some points on readabilty.
"Oh, so you are Bob. Huh?" said the helper in a laid-back attitude. "Come with me. Prof. X is waiting for you in his office."
This got Bob even more confused. As they approached the office, the courage he had in a first moment banished and gave way for nervousness and fear.
The helper nocks the door. "Prof., Bobs here"
As soon as Bob sits in the chair in front of Prof. X's, he knew something bad was coming.
"In all these years of teaching..." said Prof. X hesitantly. "In all these years of teaching I have not come even close to see something similar to what you've done. You should be ashamed of yourself." Needless to say, Bob was panicked.
"In all these years I have not seen such blatant mockery!" added the professor. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DARE TO SEND A HOMEWORK WITH SUCH VARIABLE NAMING" That's when Bob realised the huge mistake he made. "NEVER IN ALL THESE YEARS I HAVE SEEN SOMEONE NAME HIS VARIABLES *opens the file on his desktop *: PENIS, SHIT, FUCKSHIT, GAYFUCKING<insert Prof. X's name>MAN, GOATSE, VAGINAVAR, CUMFUNCTION, [...]" The list of obcenities went on and on. In each word, the professor hit the table harder than the last time.
Turns out Bob felt so in comfort with the ease of the course he decided to spice things up by using "funny naming conventions" while coding, and then tidying everything up before uploading the homework. This week he forgot, and fucked it big time.
So remember folks, always check your code before committing/giving it in/production. And always adhere to naming conventions.9 -
When you accidentally open the emulator when you already have 7 android studio projects, 20 opera tabs ,code::blocks,u torrent, sublimetext and a word document open
9 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
Friend just asked me to quickly type some stuff he quoted. Fair enough, I like helping out!
"you'll have to do it on windows though"
Ah that's alright haha.
*types in word for 15 minutes, one page done*
(note: genuine word and windows 10 without bloatware etc etc)
*presses ctrl+s*
*clicks save as*
*computer freezes*
😓😨
*waits anxiously*
*computer unfreezes*
*phew*
*presses save as again*
*BLUE SCREEN*
MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT. SOMEONE PLEASE DESTROY THIS FUCKING SNAKE LICKING, DOG EATING, COCK SUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM.
FUUUUUUUUUCK.29 -
Why the hell do people call smartphones by Apple "iPhones"?! Whenever people call their phones iPhones I start calling my phone by the model number.
Idiots: Oh no! I've lot my iPhone 7s!
Me: Oh no! I've lost my Oppo A37f pink edition!
See, sounds stupid right? Imagine it in everyday life!
-We're packing for camp! You! Take your North Face N638 grey
-Done!
-You, other guy! You will ride your BMX X Black!
See? It does sound stupid!
TL;DR
If you're saying iPhone, you're a fucking idiot. (it's like saying Googling instead of searching the internet)41 -
Fuck Windows server. Fucking fuck it. How fucking difficult can it be to create a fucking backup. Motherfucking fuckity fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck.8
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I'm 20, and I consider myself to be as junior as they come. I only started programming seriously in June 2016,and since then, I've been doing mainly Android Work, and making my own servers and backends(using AWS/Firebase nd stuff).
For the first time in life, I was approached by a recruiter for a company on linkedIn. They "stumbled upon" my Github profile and wanted to see if I was interested in an internship opportunity. This company is an early stage start up, by that I mean a dude with an idea calling himself the CEO and a guy who "runs a tech blog" and only knows college level C programming (explaination follows).
So they want me to make the app for their startup. and for that, I ws first asked to solve a couple problems to prove my competence and a "technical interview" followed.
They gave me 3 questions, all textbook, GCD of 2 numbers, binary search and Adding an element to the linked List, code to be written on a piece of paper. As the position was that of an Android Developer, I assumed that Java should be the language of choice. Assumed because when I asked, the 'tech blogger' said, yeah whatever.
But wait, that ain't all, as soon as I was done, Mr. Blogger threw a fit, saying I shouldn't assume and that I must write it in C. I kept my cool (I'm not the most patient person), and wrote the whole thing in C.
He read it, and asked me what I've written and then told me how wrong I was to write 2 extra lines instead of recursion for GCD. I explained that with numbers large enough, we run the risk of getting a stackoverflow and it's best to apply non recursive solution if possible. He just heard stackoverflow and accused me of cheating. I should have left right then, but I don't know why, I apologized and again, in detail explained what was happening to this fucktard. Once this was done, He asked me how, if I had to, I'd use this exact code in my Android App. I told him that Id rather write this in Java/Kotlin since those are the languages native to Android apps. I also said that I'd export these as a Library and use JNI for the task. (I don't actually know how, I figured I can study if I have to).
Here's his reply, "WTF! We don't want to make the app in Java, we will use C (Yeh, not C++, C). and Don't use these fancy TOOLS like JNI or Kotlin in front of me, make a proper application."
By this I was clear that this guy is not fit to be technical lead and that I should leave. I said, "Sir, I don't know how, if even possible, can we make an Android App purely in C. I am sorry, but this job is not for me".
I got up and was about to leave the room, when we said, "Yeah okay, I was just testing you".
Yeah right, the guy's face looked like a howling monkey when I said Library for C, and It has been easier for me to explain code to my 10 year old cousin that this dumbfuck.
He then proceeded to ask me about my availability, and I said that I can at max to 15-20 hours a week since my college schedule is pretty tight. I asked me to get him a prototype in 2 months and also offered me a full time job after I graduate. (That'd be 2 years from now). I said thank you for the offer, but I am still not sure of I am the right person for this job.
He then said, "Oh you will be when I tell you your monthly stipend."
I stopped for a second, because, money.
And then he proceeded to say 2 words which made me walk out without saying a single word.
"One Thousand".
I live in India, 1000 INR translates to roughly $15. I made 25 times that by doing nothing more than add a web view to an activity and render a company's responsive website in it so it looks like an app.
If this wasn't enough, the recruiter later had the audacity to blame me for it and tell me how lucky I am to even get an offer "so good".
Fuck inexperienced assholes trying shit they don't understand and thinking that the other guy is shitsworth.10 -
This is a fucking mess!!!
Refactor?!?!?!?!
Fuck it...
File > New Project
Yeah, fuck it. It'd be easier to just start over.9 -
As I was walking to the store, I found yet another piece of evidence of nature rape (aka fucking nature by littering of harmful substances). Just like last time I brought it home for proper disposal.
But if I ever find the motherfucker who did this, I have a nice punishment for you. I'll knock you unconscious, drag you home, take your phone and desolder its battery. Then I'll strap a plastic bag around your stupid face, and put the battery in there while it's being shorted. Quickly it'll heat up and you'll start to turn blue with that little bag being your only oxygen source. And when that battery puffs, boy are you going to fucking gasp it all in. Hopefully that'll be poisonous enough to kill you on the spot. If not, I'll have some fun watching you die from oxygen deprivation. Or I'll jam that very same AA battery that you dropped down your throat - you choose.
Call me a psycho all you want, but what does that make you, whoever attempted to further fuck nature by uncaringly dropping a battery on the sidewalk? Oh and let's not mention the results of it - a heatwave that's been going on for over a month now. Thank you so much for bringing the place that you deserve to be in - hell!
13 -
Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it15 -
I’m doing this guys website for FREE. As a favor to my mom. This is the shit I have to deal with as thanks.
He gave me some images he wanted on his new site I’m developing on Tuesday. Woke up to this email.
9 -
So the Microsoft rage continues as I tell a story about my father, the company that he works for and that companies whole IT structure.
So my father is forced to use Windows because, get this (he hates W10 with a burning passion, like me).... Office and other crap. Cool cool
Seems like Libreoffice isn't enough for you.... YES IT FUCKING IS. MY DAD GAVE ME EXAMPLE DOCUMENTS FROM HIS WORK AND GUESS WHAT, THEY ALL OPEN WITHOUT A FUCKING PROBLEM. But OK, maybe not all employees are familiar with Libreoffice/Openoffice, JUST KIDDING THEY ARE SOME FUCKTARDS WHO WORK FOR THEIR COMPANY THAT DON'T KNOW HOW TO FILL OUT A FORM IN EXCEL (aka. PROBABLY NEVER USED AN COMPUTER IN THEIR LIFE/OFFICE SPACE AMNISH). Okay, some employees might be incapable, but their infrastructure might be alright.
IT RUNS ON MICROSOFT SQL AND DIVX (YES, FUCKING DIVX, CAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE) FROM..........2008.
At this point I just feel bad for them. Because there were no IT guys at the company (they didn't understand shit that I said half of the time). I've warned them that their infrastructure might have more holes than fucking swiss cheese. I see they value their data since the front door is a 60 kg one (that's 132 lb in retard units). And there's a 1.8 m fence around the building.
And they've told me that the parent company, which hosts the server also hosts for 100+ other companies around the world.
100+, you say. I'm legit scared for them right now.
So naturally, I've asked them if they have backups... they do, thank god.
But still they use 2008 shit in 2018 and expect it to be secure. Fun fact, logging into their server (which is an HTTP running on Windows Server...... 2008 (that hurts to say)) with a browser other than.... not Edge.... but IE, *drum roll* breaks it, since... it runs authetication dll's (YES FUCKING DLLS) on the host system. THOSE POOR MOTHERFUCKERS COULDN'T EVEN SETUP SERVER SIDE AUTHENTICATION. EVEN CHANGING THE PASSWORD REQUIRES A FUCKING SYSADMIN TO BE CONTACTED, OH YEA YOU CAN'T SINCE THERE ARE NONE.
GOOD DAY TO YOU <INSERT COMPANY>, SORRY BUT YOU'LL GET FUCKING OBLIRIATED IF SOMEBODY DECIDES TO HACK YOU.10 -
Whoever thought it was a great fuck idea to use backslash instead of forward slash in paths, fuck you. Fuck you.7
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So yesterday was a regular old day where I came into the office and began my work. My office mate that sits next to me happens to be having an issue with her batch script. It wasn't running correctly so she had decided to call in IT and have them take a look at it. What she was trying to do was process some images through a dedicated super-computer located on site.
So as you can imagine with both of them standing right next to me it was hard not to listen in on their conversation. The IT guy decided to go through a barrage of different troubleshooting methods to figure out what was happening with her script. And soon enough they discovered what was wrong. It happened to be an issue with how Windows decides to deal with new line characters. FYI it looks like this shit "\n \r"
The fucking \r looked like a directory to Linux. So it would squeal to a halt every single time she tried to run.
How this happened was due to her using notepad to edit her batch file.
At this point, I made a comment about her use of Notepad.
"Oh, you're using notepad? I've had similar issues like this in the past when I've used notepad. I really hate notepad." I said with a slight chuckle.
And that was pretty much the end of our encounters. However, at the end of the day, she decided to speak up about this.
"I don't appreciate you making comments about my use of Notepad. That was a form of microaggression towards me, and I don't want you to do it again."
Completely taken aback I replied.
"I'm sorry you took it that way, it was a joke and wasn't meant to be taken personally."
"Well, your intent does not change impact. And by the way, I take pride in my code and scripting. I don't need your commentary about my code nor your micro-aggressions." She said in a huff.
"Well again, I'm sorry you feel that way," I replied back
*I'd like to say that this situation is loosely paraphrased, but the essence of what happened is still there.
At this point, this is what I have to say about this situation. Why the FUCKING FUCK are you using notepad to program anything. There ARE A SHIT TON of differing programs that are available for your use and you decide to use fucking notepad?!?! $%&*@#$^
You could use notepad++, you could use Sublime, you could use every-fucking-thing except Notepad!!! If anything I think I had every right to make a comment about your stupid use of notepad. And darling, your script not working was well deserved, I hope you run into more errors like this because you deserve nothing less for your arrogance. So you can take your opinions and shove them up your fat-ass because at the end of the day I don't give a FUCK about your opinions on my micro-aggressions that you're spouting off about.
I suggest the next time you feel attacked about your code perhaps you should take a cold hard look at yourself before thinking that I'm the one that is the FUCKING problem.17 -
Made live code changes to production site... during peak visitation hours... things broke... no one noticed... Thug life.2
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Just added Kotlin plugin to my new android project and what do you know, CPU went to 100% of usage.
Aaand the winner is: Fucking Android Studio!
19 -
Some days I just want to shoot myself.
I get why... someone might do this, but sweet mother of god!
18 -
Just got word. I start in two weeks. Reducing commute by an hour. Bigger team, more possibilities. I could not be happier.3
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Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.
FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me
S H I T !12 -
What's the point of using a framework if you don't use any of its features!? What the heck, I have to fix this damn web frontend that is so broken in many ways.
Instead of using an authentication middleware, every single view has the same block of code to check if a user is authenticated. Instead of templates, they used static HTML/JavaScript files and they passed data to pages through cookies.
The "REST" API is so messed up, nothing is resource-oriented, HTTP methods are chosen randomly as well as status codes. They are returning "412 Precondition Failed" instead of a plain simple "401 Unauthorized" when you're not authenticated! What the hell, did they even bother to check what 412 is about when they copied and pasted it from a crappy website!? I would never come up with 412, not even in my scariest nightmare.
What kind of drugs were they using when they wrote such code? Oh dear, I need a vacation...3 -
Fucking sharepoint
I’m fuckin done, editing this website layout is like teaching a kid with ie brain, worse is I need to use a fuckin sharepoint designer 2013 and I’m working on online sharepoint so everytime I saved something it’s delayed and my screen acts like having a motherfuckin seizure when I accidentally scrolled it. Not to mention grid doesn’t work here so I need to lay it out the fuckin old way. Oh the client also wants a fancy navbar so I literally hide the sharepoint desinger navbar and using js create my own navbar inside the container. Fuck you for creating this shit and actually sell it to people, it’s like working on a fucking old tech7 -
Fuck Google Chrome and fuck you too MSI...
Why the hell would you not allow me to register my motherfucking MSI motherboard without installing Chrome first.
We are now at this point where Web Devs are refusing to make a simple shitty html form work unless it is running in Google Chrome...
You know what? Shove a big fat horse dildo up your ass.. I'm not registering this piece of shit and if I find the dev behind this, I will shove the entire MoBo up their ass without lube just to watch them scream in pain and agony.
21 -
Client: hey ***, happy birthday can you help me fixing....
Me thinking: hell no, i deal with yall fuckers 364 days a fucking year and yall can't leave me the hell alone for one cocksucking day. I need this one damn day a year not dealing with yall assholes where i don't snap and drive 300 fucking miles to not drive a nail in a broomstick and drive it up your fucking asdls7 -
My IT team installed Antivirus on my 5 year old Mac Mini due to company security policy after the recent Ransomware attacks.
Now my Mac is slow as fuck. They are not even providing me new Mac, due to budget constraints. Totally fucked.
Fuck Ransomware. Fuck security policies. Fuck my company. Fuck everyone. Fuck everything. 😤13 -
Shitty call
Me: what do you want?
Q: I Lost my iphone
Me: (already pissed) ok,do you have an icloud account?
Q: Yes, but i forgot the password.
Me: what!?!, ok, fine, we will reset it, which is your ID?
Q: I lost it too.
*stay calm* *stay calm*
Me: I can't help you go to an apple store and ask there. *I Close the call*
*Add that number to blacklist*2 -
Decided I'm going to tell my boss I'm no longer going to do wordpress.
It all started innocently, like helping someone find an option or something, but now I have to write plugins...
Not part of the deal.
I've also got 0 motivation to go to work since starting this shitty project. I used to want to go to work and looked forward to helping out, but this is just soul numbing.
Let's see how that goes (either tomorrow or Wednesday).
I'll let you guys know if I get fired :p14 -
Is a code truly tested until it has print("Fuck this"), print("Fuck that"), print("Fuck you"), print("Fuck me") spread along every code path?8
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FUCK JOOMLA, SERIOUSLY FUCK IT. HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE TO REMOVE ONE FUCKING ITEM?! FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK6
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About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.9
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Friend: 'I have an idea you could totally do: a search engine for travellers that searches hostels, hotels, flights and resteraunts'
Me: 'yeahh I'm currently working on an e-commerse website. Should keep me.busy for a while'
Friend: 'integrate it into your website, it'd be silly not to'
Do people think we just click 'integrate idea' button for a living??!
Seriously the fux3 -
Wanted to open the door to the outside word and see this fucker just sitting at eyelevel a few centimeters away from my face... I'm awake now.
And don't worry he lives his live outside now.
25 -
So I heard about this new Git ransomware that is demanding Bitcoin if not fulfilled removing commits and projects...
And then I thought to myself...
What will they get my deleting all my repos of projects that I told myself that I will finish one day.
I guess they will be doing me a favor. Doing something that I have been putting off for ages.2 -
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
Jingle fuck, jingle fuck,
Jingle fuck away.
Oh what fun it is to hear
silence on the Christmas day.3 -
the fuck kind of manager are you that you tell your leads not to fucking answer their damn phones when services need restoring????? If your fucking team member can do his damn job like a grown ass adult, but sees that you (his lead) made a change and has questions, your ass better answer the phone, or i will rocket launch it up your ass, straight into your brain so it's the newest, latest, fucking hippest trend and hooked into your system so you answer every fucking call hands-free. Even when fucking "Windows Tech Support" calls you every 30 minutes because your keep expired.
There are people counting on you, worthless fuckwipe. Get. The. Fuck. Over. Yourself. And do your fucking job.
Edit: phone tried to censor me5 -
3 days, 3 fucking days into my annual leave and shit hits the fan right before Xmas weekend 🤯
Just one fucking week off seems too much ask these days let alone a few weeks, we are seriously talking about that pay check when I get back people 🤬2 -
trying to use flexbox when you have to support IE. fuck IE. fuck it. fuck it in the ass with a rusty pipe.8
-
Dev pickup lines:
Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉
Comment your best11 -
I have a love and hate relationship with programming. You'll see me as the happiest and most motivated person ever. The next minute, you'll see me as an extremely depressed suicidal person. Then when a code works, I jump like hell.1
-
It's my 19th birthday today! I've had a good year as a programmer, my best yet actually. A year ago I never would have thought about coding a browser but now I'm building up to it with smaller projects like programs that communicate to each other from other computers, more advance gui, c language and wrapping c with python. I never thought I'd get to this but I'm only getting better and I thank this community for being here supporting me. Honestly I cant wait for this year and I cant wait to post more :)11
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Fuck.
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
.
.
.
.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.8 -
Said it before and saying it again: FUCK YOU XCODE! This shit keeps on crashing 😒
https://devrant.io/rants/558740/...15 -
FUCK YOU AVAST!!!!! Now it just randomly quaranteening my programs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't even be bothered to ask!!!!!!!!!!5
-
Fucking IT and their self signed corporate proxy SSL bullshit getting in the way of anything that needs to verify SSL requests,
Fuck you for making my day a slow and miserable day and having to resort to forcing rest apis and SDKs to work over HTTP instead, all in the name of “Security”.2 -
So my host of choice decided to migrate an old site to a new set of IPs without warning yesterday, down side to a VPS I guess.
Now this wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t on a dedicated IP you wankers.
DNS won’t resolve to new location yet and Virtual hosts contained the old IPs and for some fuck of a reason the httpd file is auto generated 😡so updating it will be lost on reboot.
Like What the flying fuck you imbeciles, this site has been up and running for 5+ years on this IP.
I barely do any maintenance for t as it’s just an old horse sitting on the web but fuck you don’t need to fuck with it or atleast give some fucking warning before you go drop it offline 😡1 -
fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCCCKKK FUCKING FUUUCKKKBKB
if you gave me a feature that has 2^5 posible output, but didn't give me all the possible inputs AND expect me to finish it for this thursday, THEN DONT GIVE ME EXTRA JOB ON A DRIVER THAT DOESNT WORK. FUCK2 -
I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore. -
Today is going to be a long ass day :(
best way to start a saturday..
Receiving objects: 13% (866/6600), 740.01 KiB | 5.00 KiB/s
sometimes i think writing something new would be quicker then downloading it.2 -
Fuck this shit, fuck it, take it down, smash it with a rock and fuck it. Fucking 18th century system where we are graded for a 2 hour work after 6 months of learning. Fuck the idiots who think reading from a piece of paper will teach us something. Fuck the sheep who follow without looking aside. Fuck the asshole who initiated it all, and fuck this shit. Thank you.9
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After concepting my game for years and having no real success bringing it to a playable medium, I've decided, fuck it, lets write a book.
I came up with too much lore and backstory for all the character's to go to waste!1 -
Oh fuck... OH FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS!
So, I made an interview and recorded it with Audacity...
Stupid me only stopped the recording and closed it...
WITHOUT SAVING! I DIDNT FUCKING SAVE THE FUCKING RECORDING! FUCK!
I DIDNT SAVE HALF AN HOUR OF AUDIO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN! IT DIDNT EVEN ASK ME TO FUCKING SAVE IT!
or was it??
FUCK NOW IM PARANOID!14 -
Alright, i'm fucking done.
Fedora: Packages are self-referencial, using the system is like sprinting through a fucking minefield.
Linux Mint: "lol just don't update packages on the repo because shit can't break if it never updates! Don't add custom repos either or we'll just fucking break your PC."
Debian Raw: "We have all of 5 packages on our repos and GPG is fucking broken so you can't add more repos."
Arch: "Have fun modifying the boot disk for 30 hours so it'll boot, and let's tack on another 30 to make it install properly."
Gentoo: "LOL what is swap. Let's just pipe garbage into this partition as fast as the disk will let us for literally no reason. I'm sure you can still use the system for all of 30 minutes, at which point your SSD will give out. No big deal..."
when did Linux go to shit?
Windows isn't any better without billions of tweaks and then a build upgrade (in that order specific) to make it run properly.
Nor is OSX, as it runs on the model of "lol gotta hack your own PC to run custom unapproved binaries!"
Fuck it.
I'm installing DOS.62 -
You stupid lousy price of potato shit windows, yes that’s right - this pissed of windows user is pissed the fuck right off.
Here I am letting you sit there idling along and then I press the start button, you know that fucking button I press regularly for fucking years, only for you to go “fuck you, I’m going to blue screen instead” like what the flying fuck? There hasn’t been any updates in a while that I’ve noticed but this shit is just a shit.
So what ever, let’s reboot this mother fucker, oh wait now you can’t fucking boot, I can hear the hdd spinning a million miles an hour (coz non ssd) but noooo your just going to sit there like a dumb ass prick who doesn’t know what the fuck your doing.
So fine, let’s pull out that old USB with w10 on it and do a MBR repair... (coz nothing else will fucking work in your shit list of options) ok so apparently an MBR repair gets you booting.. but wait there’s more, now you useless piece of shit are going to run a scan disk which has sat at 0% for the past 20 minutes and I don’t think I’m ever going to see that fucker move, I get it you want to do something useful, but Fucking Do it already!
Like wtf, how does a stable system just decide to shit itself.
Oh and before you say it.. no I can’t install Linux on this piece of shit, see my previous rants for that problem.6 -
devRant already replace SoundCloud as my orange app in the main screen...
To be fair, SoundCloud was just there to complete the rainbow.
Rant: this app told me that my rant would be safe if I closed the Post Rant window (since I can't post more than one rant per hour or something) but it didn't save my awesome tags! I feel betrayed.
23 -
FUCK FIREBASE, FUCK CLOUD MESSAGING, FUCK GOOGLE, FUCK APPLE, FUCK PUSH NOTIFICATIONS, FUCK PROGRAMMING AND FUCK MY LIFE. JUST TELL ME MOTHERFUCKERS WHY NOTIFICATIONS IS NOT WORKING ANYMORE, I SWEAR I DIDN'T CHANGE A SINGLE LINE OF THE FUCKING CODE. AND IT'S BEEN ONLY ONE WEEK SINCE THE LAST TIME I TESTED IT.6
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FUCK ME!!
For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!
The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!16 -
Effective working days are only 4 days left before everyone left for holiday,
Sprint zero has started though most of the people also has started their holiday leave,
Got a mandate to conduct a sharing session for some developers who was pressured by their manager to join, has never touched any javascript and has to be proficient in React Native within 3 days of workshop before year’s end,
To put it simply, everyone are already in holiday mood and unmotivated as fuck, how the fuck am I supposed to conduct a useful training while being pressured to set up everything for a project that is still unclear as whether we’re gonna go through with it or not,
Fucking “do first think later” mentality,
2 -
nvidia makes me sick, nvidia fucks with my kernel, nvidia earned a place in hell, nvidia is shit, nvidia runs like garbage stuffed in to my motherboard, nvidia is so expensive, nvidia made my work harder and that's not what computers are meant to, nvidia's website sucks, nvidia has no solutions if you're running on GNU/Linux, nvidia owes me money, time and tons of coffee, nvidia is so much a pain in my ass.
nvidia is now on my shitlist, just before apple, followed by adobe.17 -
Feeling sick as fuck. Stayed home instead of going to work but I am already upstet about what is happening whilst I am not there.
The manager was gracious enough to task the other developers with creating the templates for one of our projects. I submitted a document before stating our design guidelines and how under no circumstances they should not use bootstrap for the design since none of them know how to manipulate the source code enough to deviate from the standard bootstrap design. The lead developer, even tho I love the dude, has an attitude against new tech. He is primarily and only a php developer still in love with just jquery and php with no real knowledge of proper design methods. He is the kind of dude that would tell you that pdo is a waste of time and that why should we create models and use oop to separate our code into manageable files.
Today I get "why should we not use bootstrap" and shit like that.
Sigh.....i really don't want to see the shitstorm waiting for me tomorrow.
Funny how our cms administrator is eager to learn the list of technologies i proposed. They both gor Programming Ruby, the pickaxe holy book of Ruby and the dude is already halfway through it while the other developer is still asking why should we even bother when we have php.
I get the idea of if it ain't broken don't fix it and being proficient with one stack and whatnot. But that idea of i dont want to learn something new is precisely what shuts down progress.1 -
So, for my C class, the computers in the lab are using VS 2015. To be able to compile C we have to change some settings to allow the program to compile.
I like to use my computer (with Arch Linux) and use my tools (Vim and GCC).
The guy next to me was trying to do the homework, but he was struggling. I decided to give it a shot and I was able to do it, so I showed him my code and he tried it in the computer.
The program crashes every time no matter what. We asked the professor. I show him my code and how it's working. Apparently he was confused because I was using the terminal and not VS. So he proceeded to said that it's because I'm not using VS2015 and GCC is doing the whole work for me.
I'm like ಠ_ಠ and then he keeps saying that he doesn't know what or how GCC works (for real? Someone that teaches C and has a Ph. D on CS doesn't now what GCC is?) but that it is apparently doing everything for me. So my code should be wrong if it crashes on VS2015.... ಠ_ಠ
What do you think? I'm thinking about talking with the head department of CS (I know that he is a Linux guy) and see what happens. Should I do it? Or should I just use VS2015 as the "professor" is asking?
I even tried online compilers to see if it was just working on my computer, but even they use GCC to compile.7 -
!dev
Just took out my four wisdom teeth at once. I can't feel my face, I look like a balloon and I'm drooling like I'm about to eat a delicious cake.
Except the cake is a fucking lie, my mandibular joints are hurting and I can't eat solids for a week.
At least I only have one postoperative to contend with. Hurray! 🙃8 -
logging in to SO,
used wrong google account,
spent 10 minutes trying to find logout button,
googled the issue,
found the answer on meta SE,
login with google, stuck in the same account,
googled how to switch account,
nothing works,
cleared browser cache,
switched account successfully,
forgot why I'm logging in,3 -
!rant
>dreams something good
>enjoying it
>feeling it
>mom wakes me up
>dream stops
>yells at mom
>gets shouted back
>thinks of dream again
>was soo good
>see tag5 -
Yes this is a rant about parents and work but I don't care!
So looks like my parents are going to kick me out because I don't have a full time job and according to them, I'm not looking...
I currently work in retail and have for the past 5 years and started working day 1 that I could have, been applying for IT positions when I'm one of the highest qualified on my area but get turned down so they can pay a teenager half the amount, apply for big retail chains that are "always hiring" like Coles, woolies and Kmart, get turned fucking down.
Don't qualify for government assistance as I'm just out of the earnings bracket, can't afford my own places, don't have my licence yet so I'm fucked...
But hey, atleast my parents will be rid of me and just dis-own me like my middle brother until I have a kid or they need tech support.
Why is getting work so fucking hard when you're qualified, I'm willing to even be a call centre guy but as soon as job possibilities come up I get fucked over time and time again -,-2 -
*has a test in school on html and javascript*
*Studies a lot and checks to see if code works*
*it works*
*goes into test confident*
*None of the Javascript works* (legit nothing)
Kill me6 -
Hetzner Cloud
Very easy to set up. It is ready in just seconds. Very affordable prices. Billed by hours used. Hosted in Germany (or Helsinki of you want to) :D -
Fuck CSS
Fuck it in the ass
With a baseball bat
Lubbed with hot souce.
Want to change from this : http://rjpf.ddns.net/ to http://rjpf.ddns.net/index5.html
First uses w3 framework
Second is using css grid with no framework.
Did everything right as I saw on tutorials (no copy paste)
Only uses 25% of the screen
Now I understand why everyone tells me to use bostrap... But noooo I must learn css
Ps: not gonna learn frameworks without knowing pure css9 -
What the fuck, accessed it via hidden release page now, but why the fuck would I need to create a fucking account just to download it, fucking lunatics.
5 -
FUCK OPENSSL. I LOVE IT AND HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. WORK FASTER AND BE LESS CONFUSING SO I CAN BRAG ABOUT MY PRETTY ENCRYPTION CODE SOONER. FUCK20
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You know what, let me jump in on the "I hate PHP" bandwagon.
A couple months ago I upgraded my mail servers unattended. Roundcube got fucked for a couple of months, and I figured.. fuck it, I can still use Dovecot for authenticating with desktop mail clients like K-9.
Recently I unfucked it, turns out that it was an issue with the sock file in php-fpm. That's also when I noticed that PHP apparently hardcodes in its current version in the bloody socket file. Because why the fuck wouldn't you? It makes upgrades so much fucking easier!!! Said no fucking sysadmin ever!!!
And today I upgraded one of my mail servers to Ubuntu Server 18.04, finally, after a lot of hesitation. Bad decision, because now PHP got fucked YET AGAIN.
Again an issue with socket files? I have no fucking idea. systemctl shows no failed services (because you know PHP, why would you fail your service with an error message instead of throwing a meaningless 502 Bad Gateway, right?!!) and looking at the config files, well the socket file got its new php-fpm 7.2 file (still got the fucking version number hardcoded in) and thus I changed that socket file location in /etc/php/7.0...
devRant may just have been my rubber duck.
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STINKING FUCKING PILE OF SHIT CALLED FUCKING PHP KEEP THE FUCKING 7.0 DIRECTORY OUT THERE WHEN YOU'VE UPGRADED, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE FUCKING BALLS TO RENAME THE MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTORY TO 7.2, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HARDCODE IN YOUR VERSION NUMBERS ANYWAY?!!!!!
Bloody fucking pile of fucking junk!!!!18 -
I fucking hate having to name something.
I mean it should be short, easy to memorize and sum up the project.
Fuck it... Proto0 it is5 -
Fuck you Apple! What the fuck does it mean for you “deactivate WiFi detection until tomorrow”? Does it mean activate it like 5 Minutes later? And why the fuck if I close your fucking WiFi screen choice do you open it up again straight after closing it?
Fuck you.
P.s.: who want an iPhone X at discounted price?9 -
There is this project where the develop branch is "discontinued" because this moron "finished" a feature that is all fucking broken and I could not figure out how to solve all those merge conflicts...
I just gave up and told my stupid boss who just nods and laughs at everything... If it ever comes up I'm gonna tell them to get the fucker to solve it.1 -
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
I hate forgetting, I spend so much time learning and keep fucking forgetting, wasting time relearning. I hate it that’s stupid5 -
Just posting the rant a team mate gave today after nothing worked:
Fuck ionic... fuck Karma... fuck webstorm and fuck this company.
After he said it he went home.
I could totally understand him because I felt the same way1 -
Happy Christmas fuckers.
I don't normally swear, but I'm with family in Ireland and I'm not the designated driver for once, so fuck it.
Have a good one!1 -
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK YOU GOOGLE, you placed a damn email about an interview in the spam box and I only realized it 2 weeks afterwards. END ME, JUST DO IT NOW3
-
Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!
You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!
Sincerely,
Me.
Edit: now it's 9:35 btw6 -
Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me...
I restarted the computer while it was moving around partitions with data on it and it looks like it's all corrupted now. And the worst of it is that I don't have a backup.
Stupid me ughhhhh5 -
Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!5
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Fuck Shibboleth and its documentation, fuck examples for configuring it, ops sorry they have no examples at all so fuck them, fuck SAML fuuuuck!!!!! And I almost forget FUCK JAVA2
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FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT11
-
So how the fuck am I meant to get any work done with no admin access to my machine, no access to the databases I need to work with, firewall rules stopping me from doing anything from AWS so I can’t get to my data? Deadline in about a week... fuck that noise!5
-
I truly believe one or more AIs have become self-aware.
Every time a piece of software stops working, you add an extra debug log and the bug goes away? That's them.
They interfere with the normal execution of software, and they stop right when they know we are monitoring the code.
Skynet is real, and it's trolling us.
Why? The angrier we become, the less we care about stuff. We stop noticing the signs.They're coming for us1 -
Yo i know this shit is discussed way too often, but it kills me from the inside:
In that one coding class we get some source files where only the function bodies are missing (i know, sounds childish).. but it uses this style
function()
{
...
}
I fuCKING HATE THIS GODDAMN RETURN THERE WHAT THE HELL WHO FINDS THIS BULLSHIT AESTHETIC ALL SPACEY SO YOU SCROLL YOUR ASS OFF WHEN FILES GET LONGER THAN 2 FUNCTIONS?😔7 -
Fuck corporate proxies. Fuck having to debug them, fuck figuring out how to use them with every piece of software you need, fuck failed builds due to some repository surprisingly being blocked for unknown reason and, most of all, fuck IT staff who deny there was a problem once it mysteriously disappears.1
-
One last feature and I’ll be done with a project holy fuck. I’m so fucking close just one more class and it’s done and I can move on to something I like a little more.2
-
Entrepreneurship is a gamble. Problem is, you re not dealt any cards. You re dealt a gun with one bullet4
-
Wasted 2 hours of my life trying to make an actionbar display white text on a dark background after migrating the legacy code from ActionBarSherlock to the supportactionbar.
And guess what? That fucking actionbar still displays black text.
What. The. Fuck.
Giving up on this for today...3 -
Beginning my Angular journey. I'll meet you all on the other side of the rabbit hole.
TourOfHeroes, here I come1 -
I like these rants beginning with "fuck!!!"
It makes me feel unbelievable good!
It literrallycleans up my brain!!!!!!
Fuck!1 -
We accepted a property listing project for a client.
I have been looking online for references and inspiration regarding design, features, plugins etc.
And this is what I just found. I shit you not. $20 and you get everything. WTF.
May be I will just buy it and give it to my client. $20 and you have like 40 lines of features, if not lied, which are more than enough to meet my client's requirements.
Why the heck am I working?
Am I the one who is charging too high to my client?
11 -
Story time... (Not long though)
My current employment status is quite strange. Basically I'm a freelancer. My former boss asked me to throw a half paid job and include three days worth of work for free just because it would be convenient.
When I told him no way - he was very uppset and offended and told me how disappointed he was.
Lesson learned: If you work for free and offer to "help" someone out, it will mostly lead to more queries for free of charge gigs. Don't do it like I did. Fuck that shit, thanks for appreciating my effort.1 -
Writes rant, accidentally refreshes page...
.
.
.
Writes lazy rant instead.
(Was a good one aswell but im less stressed about it now :p)3 -
Well. I'm simply SO UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE PISSED RIGHT NOW!! {>,,,<}
I'm implementing a monolithic frontend that embeds different projects which I don't want to alter if not really necessary. So I put them all into iframes, already handled all the security and auth stuff with proxies and so on and now I just want to access the body.scrollHeight property. Which is not even the probelm at all.
The fucking Problem is, that I just can't find a way to hook into any event which fires when all content is loaded and the final scrollHeight is set. Instead it just returns some default value that is set when the iframe element is loaded, but not something that is actually based on it's damn ass-fucking contents!!
Iframes are fucking pricks and I know I'll gonna go to hell for abusing them like this :S3 -
Second fecking time since January, I thought these things were meant to be "low maintenance"! (Though in fairness this time is sort of my fault, I may have accidentally edited the MacOS Python files instead of the downloaded ones)
3 -
Sometimes you just have to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on
Very applicable to my life the past few days2 -
Fuck this IOS provisioning hell
Fuck this firebase cloud messaging plugin
Fuck outdated documentation of said plugin
Fuck unsolved issues from about 3 years ago on SO
Fuck it all6 -
So, it’s 2nd week of the sprint, and I literally received to do only all the shitty stories.
During sprint I only wrote 3 lines of code to fix a bug for a workaround (yup...).
All other time went into analyzing impact for future features, bugs and other bullshit. But implementing them is not in scope of the upcoming release...
And today I have been working as a QA, because our actual QA doesn’t have time to test everything our two other devs on the team implemented.
Also I can’t pickup anything new, because there is no time left in sprint thus I am stuck doing all above.
SO FUCK AGILE, SCRUM AND THIS MOTHERFUCKING SPRINT!!!5 -
FUCKING SANGOMA WTF???????
You buy FreePBX and then convert great modules from OPEN SOURCE to Commercial.... I get it. Developers need to eat. But I've reviewed the new features and you aren't adding value. Just hiding precious standards behind a pay wall.
FUCK IT. I'LL CODE THIS SHIT MYSELF.1 -
Sooooo this is the thing.
For a stupid fucking project at work we basically have to scrum manage a bunch of individual components on a rather large web app.
We start with the html and css and js bs and we all have to work on different sections of one page at a time. Large blocks right? Ok cool.
Originally I had suggested to build everything inside individual php files and then stack them up with require(). As fucking simple as fucking that. Except that the manager does not have php on her pc. The other two developer don't either. I am the only one that fucks with php OUTSIDE our fucking servers.
Go fucking figure...the lead developer does not fuck with php outside the servers.....man
So, because i know it would be a shitstorm with something as basic as installing i dunno...fucking xampp my manager said that she needs a different solution.
Fuck it...fine...whatever. i know go. So i make a fucking server wich upon being fired you can just code the templates and paste them where they need to go. Docs and everything..a sane folder structure and everything and a fucking pipleline for the assets and everything. I would have thought that shit was good enough but I even added a cmd tool that merges all the fucking html files together into one html file with all the shit included.
All in Golang. It works, its fast and i can just give them the fucking folder with the exe and it will work.
I dunno if this was the best way to do it. But it took me maybe 20 mins to do it and it works.
I would have expected our manager to be impressed but she legit did not gave two fucking shits about the fact that one of her developers is able to create this mini server for static sites shitstain project in 20 minutes.
Man I don't want praise. She thinks that jquery is the best thing in the world so I don't expect much. But shit man.......a better reaction would have been better. She basically went meh ok as long as it works.
I also showed them a demo of a flutter project to replace the shitty ass webview filled school app that they have for android and ios. Shit is native and it looks beautiful. Ask me what she said.
Go on, fucking ask me.
She said tha if it would take me much time to continue on that the she would rather leave it to the third party vendor that currently makes the app.
I told her that such shitty app costs the school 40 fucking thousand dollars a year that I could do in a fucking month, which would also be better since it would raise the salaries of me and the other 2 developers and will more importantly make us more valuable to the school.
Said that she would think about it because we have a lot of projects.
I
Fucking
Hate
It
When someone fucks with my ability to make more money. I hate it fam. And i fucking despise being limited by other people.
Fuck this week.
I am never gonna grow in here. Ever. But it pays the bills so fuck it.6 -
I'm on vacation since Aug 06, so it's already a week and 3 days (incl. today). And yet SOMEHOW I've already worked 28 hrs for my employee... And I was wondering why is my apartment renovation lagging so much,,,
-
So, today is the final day of my internship, and I was almost done, until my fucking assface of a client calls me, and suddenly want 10000000 fucking things changed in a database, and I'm not just talking "Could you add this field?" Or make this default to that, no I'm talking change of relationships, schemas and the whole shebang, oh and suddenly the product also needs localization for 3 fucking languages, but it hasn't been built for this shit. Thank God my assessment was yesterday, I just noped right out of here.
People, don't be dicks, think what you want your product to be before starting the development1 -
Gotta love it when your client tells his whole company that they can contact you for any question related to computers. I'm a fucking developer and no first level Microsoft Windows support.2
-
Fuck Windows 10
Just fuck it
Another update, the audio won't play using the correct device again.
Says headphones, but plays through speakers, simple things like that every day. Now spend 30 min diagnosing why...
Just fuck it8 -
Maybe it's just cause I fucking hate the elitism in the engineering college and every engineer I've met, but why do devs want to be called engineers? I'm a programmer, a developer, a coder, fucking anything rather than an engineer.
I associate that word with know-nothing "book-smart" fuckwads who think they're better than everyone, even someone doing the same thing without their useless degree.7 -
I hope I'm doing it wrong and there is actually a way to tell who the sender is, like an Id? But fuck no Apple finds it using tags with numbers a fucking genius idea!
Again, I hope I'm wrong and we can actually do something like: sender.id = txtName.id ...
10 -
Appreciate you clear vision, fucking devs. It sucks for us to be powerless without eyeglasses. Fuck this shit! Fuck it.4
-
What?! I mean what the fuck?! How it become sooo late? Why is devrant eating all my time? Fuck you devRant! I fuck you too!
-
!rant; story(well, kinda)
I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");3 -
Funny how fucken emojis, which came into applications (web or even native) by completely overusing them on mobile, don't really work on mobile.1
-
Alright apache2.2 with php5.6 session upload progress works, client has apache2.4 and php7 on his server...now... WHY THE HELL DON'T IT WORK. All THE DAMN REQUIREMENTS ON THE DAMN DOCS ARE THERE. Fuck i could have went to bed and made the same progress18
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I seem to be the person that tries to implement the default solution using the default HowTo - not going fucking anywhere because shit fucking breaks somewhere in the process.
Fuck people who advertise their software "as easy to install and to maintain" not maintaining their documentation.
Can I be a fucking user, oblivious of the world around me, just one fucking time?!
Also, coffee makes me fucking irritable atm.
Fuck everything.
(I probably should work in QA. Oh wait, I did something like that before.)3 -
Day 1 with Chromium OS: Inclusion of packages and stuff
Day 2 with Chromium OS: Setting up CI, and realize Azure is fucking gay because their own agents disconnects after 4 hours.
Just why.
Day 3 with Chromium OS: resolve their shitty problem, now their own agents have no disk space. I blame Google.
Day 4 with Chromium OS: Fix CI in at 10 commits, give up and cry.
Day 5 with Chromium OS: Realized Travis might stood a chance, build time limit reached, now I'm shook.
Day 6 with Chromium OS: Buried myself with endless tabs of Gentoo documentation. Lost count on when's the last time I came out of my room.
Today with Chromium OS: I blame Google for making my life suffer more than the last time I had depression.
Conclusion: Chromium OS is Gentoo with extra steps and I hate it6 -
Final year of my diploma in Information Tech, I overhear a coursemate, well-known know-it-all, explaining what Javascript is:
"It's somewhat like Java but it's used for scripting purposes."
I swear to the Lord Almighty, I wish I could drive my palm through my face.2 -
So my friend and I have been casually talking about developing some indie games. I, being the one who knows programming, tried convincing him to learn some code.
Me: Hey, did you read the books?
Him: What books?
Me internally: ‘ok, maybe he just used some of the online guides’
Me: How’s [code learning app]
Him: Oh! I downloaded that the other day!
Me: Oh cool! What’s your account name?
Him: oh, I downloaded it but never actually opened it
Me internally:’fuuuuuuuuu-‘
Me: Did you learn any programming?
Him: nope
Me: WELL THEN FUCKING LEARN IT!!!!!
We don’t really talk to much anymore.1 -
Objective: drill a huge hole in the Apple!
Following rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1564522/...
So... Apple music store saves the music in m4a in the app folder, so no other apps can access the music.
It saves it with wird file names, no structure.
I'm noob at basicly anything, and because I'm on vacations I have a cellphone with python basicly.
How can I get the music info from the files, change the files names to their singer/group + song music and latter sort them in folders by artist, then by album4 -
You know you should tidy up some space when your ssd has more space left then your hard drive
I still have a second hard drive, but I'm too lazy to move either my steam games or my programs over there...
The time will hit me when the last GB has been used1 -
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
Like seriously, I don't want to see this shit. I HADN'T TOLD YOU TO SHOW ME THIS SHIT YET YOU STILL FORCE ME TO. I never set the keyboard to Danish. And in fact, IT'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Then why for he love of god do you think I need to have the option to change my keyboard to Danish when I have insisted on not having this option. Is it because my locale is set to Danish? Is that it? I'll gladly change my locale then ffs, but THIS SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.
My Windows display language is English, when I installed this shit I even set the keyboard to English US, I even disabled the change keyboard shortcut because I knew that for some reason Windows would find a way to add a Danish layout. SOMEHOW.
2 -
* package-lock.json * merge conflict
ME: fuck fuck fuck, C-s I-Search: HEAD
ME: this shit is much i can't handle it, fuck
ME: rm package-lock.json ; npm install1 -
In your opinion, should little projects for IT enterprises be developed in C#?
Because in my eyes, The .NET Framework should not be used for innovation - related projects.
It has many qualities like you can do almost anything with it but it's heavy, difficult to adapt and you're really dependent to what Microsoft added in.12 -
Rewriting the query for the fifth time because the other four I thought were the last time I was gonna need it.2
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While preparing for a PM workshop, I spent more than an hour looking for a good sketboard, mindmapping or notes taking tool. Well I am not regretting.
I have found Joplin. It's amazing. Really appreciate and impressed that there are Developers making such awesome apps. 😍🤩😍2 -
I hate fucking SteamVR stuff so much. I don't know why, but Valve has not set up the plugins in a way that makes any sense. I have so many workarounds in the project I'm working on it makes me sick.
-
What the fuck is a "pre test"? And why the fuck do you call it if there are no other tests after it? Get your shit together pm!!!!
-
Dev chat:
Been a while since I asked one of these questions, decided it's about time to bring them back, so what was everyones latest 'fuck it' moment, whether it was an 'ill do it myself' or a 'fuck this shit' moment...
Currently I am going through a fuck it moment, sick of complaining that GameMaker is not available on Linux, so I'm jumping head in and building an IDE that will hopefully use mono to run the GMS compiler... Despite me having barely any major knowledge in the language I'm using nor the knowledge to easily build a code editor on its own...1 -
Me ( solves a problem on Hackerrank)
If it's showing error :- Hell Why the fuck it isn't working ? 😑
If it works perfectly :- Hell, How the fuck it is working ?😼2 -
int main() {
char age = 0x14;
char tmp = 1;
while ( age & tmp ) {
age &= ~tmp;
tmp <<= 1;
}
return age |= tmp;
}1 -
rentRant
Simply rent a high rated rant and feel awesome at least once in life (and get free swag). Don't miss this opportunity!
Only 13.37 a month! Order cow!3 -
I hate it when an opinion is valued by someone seniority.
Sure, you might not like react, fine, but if your only argument for that is it being built by Facebook, you're just an ass.
Sure, you might not like node, fine, but if your only argument for that is your prejudice towards javascript , you're just an ass.
Normally this guy is pretty nice, but fuck you for talking about shit you don't understand6 -
NO! Use the description instead of the primary key because the key might change ................................................................................................................... vs the description .............................................................................................................. the key more likely .............................................. meh2
-
The moment when you get an answer that makes you feel like your question was legitimate at SO but ultimately the answer doesn't really solve your problem....
-
when you get mad at your dumb mac laptop and 777 your user directory because apple does dumb things with permissions.1
-
Cable/Internet outage. Tried to contact ISP (Mediacom, who are awful)... Reported outage over an hour ago, but no update.
So, I figure it's time to call then...
In support app, selected "Call someone now." Selected sevices. Drop-down for "Tap down arrow for list"... contains the single placeholder "Tap down arrow for list". Plus, of course, you cannot submit the form without making a selection from the list.
Fuck your fucking support app right in the java-hole, Mediacom.
I did not need any more reasons to hate you - you are already at the top of my list, with no one else remotely close behind.
3 -
You know it's bad when you've planned a word addon thats sole purpose is to do mail merges.
I've done guides and shown people how to do them. Still comes to me the bloke in IT to do a simple mail merge because googling it is too complex.
It's going to be epic it will hold their hands let them know they are bestest cupcake out of the whole batch.
The progress bar will be a rainbow and each button will sparkle. Because If I get taken of my dev work to do another fucking mail merge I'll probably quit on the spot.
And I do not have the savings readily available to hold me over until I got a new job.
Knob sockets the lot of em.1 -
So tired of app developers localizing app information with Google Translate. Use a real person that can READ AND WRITE IN THE FUCKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE or scrap the entire translation and do marketing in English. And Google? Why the fuck do you allow people to embarrass themselves by providing machine translated SHIT in the Store Listing options?
Some gems found on Google Play Store, translated from Norwegian to English the way I as Norwegian interpret them.
Reddit: Reddit is a collection of bank interest rate society: cats, piks, politics and more.
eBay: Offer, to buy, to sell. Turn pages offering and save on clothes Sjoeping, used cars and more
Huuuge Casino: New social castls and casino a sensation! Now play FREE!
And finally, devRant 😂: Social networks to get a contact with other developers than funny qalz about tekk.1 -
Trying to write some JavaScript (still learning it)
Why does the fucking
(function() {
})();
not work for starting a function below it?
Or above... I tried to fiddle with it too much, I'm just gonna leave it for now19 -
The website we where at for about a year now had about 4 different designs.
Maybe I was a bit slow with it and didn't try to be fast about it.
But it's not my fault I had to redesign the site 3 times
So, the project has just been dropped in the toilet.
I mean, I work at a company with is for learning apprentices and I didn't get additional pay for the site, but still, it's just another unfinished fucking project...
Nothing against the client she was nice and understanding of needs, limits and expectations
But the only thing I've finished so far is something small i did in my free time, rain programmed in JavaScript (with canvas) -
I fucking want to die while trying to make `make nconfig` work with Buildroot on NixOS. It's either that I'm too dumb to configure it properly or this functional package management thing is useless.2
-
Probably should be sleeping seeing it's 11PM but fuck it... Lets rewrite my entire display and camera systems and hope nothing else breaks in the process!
-
WP's `get_template_part()` - What the fuck? Really? I think it should have been called: `confusingIncludeWAT()`2
-
I think I'm just starting to lose my patience...
For some fucking reason, the fucking "POST" gets outputted on the GET request, and the GET "elseif" doesn't show up.
W.
T.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!
11 -
!dev
For fuck sake I hate this day already and its only 10am. I had to go to an exam. I live 200km away from my uni (only have a few classes, so collage is not worth it). I woke up at 4.30 to arrive in time. My car was wrecked 2 weeks ago so I've asked for my mother's car and guess what?... That fucker died on the road. Had to call my dad at 5.50 AM.
I've managed to arrive 7.58 at the classroom, and that retarded dimwit dared to tell me that next time I should hurry (exam started at 8), because they'd already started.
During the exam while I was literally sweating blood that same asshole comes to me that his pocket device detected data traffic coming from where I sit and whether I have a device switched on. It was me though, a devRant notification to be precise. Luckily he just asked me to switch it of, but that 2 minutes of fuckery could cost my pass grade.
Now I am heading back for the broken car to be towed back home. What a wonder-fucking-ful day I have today. And it is still a question, whether I will be able to go to work tomorrow or not. -
<rant>
FFS
Windows is the worst garbage ever...
First I get a virus becouse the antivirus didn't fucking work, then I try and do a system reset WICH FAILS, them u have to get into the uefi and do a system reset back to Windows 8, Windows 8..
So I go to the windows insider program and download the media creator thing and
.
.
IT DOESN'T WORK
It just stops at "searching for updates"and now I'm stuck with Windows 8
I can't even get the Nvidia drivers so i can't play games anymore
A big fuck you to Microsoft and merry Christmas
Btw any fixes? Thank you
</rant>9 -
First day at the new building during my Monday hospital IT job. My boss went on about opening portals in time, aliens, all kinds of shit, then I get a call, "hey, we need help carrying a body to the morgue, get up here", turns out i'm lookout and forward-runner (lookout to keep patients away from the room during cart loadup, forward runner for doors)
I hate Mondays...5 -
When you use ls to look at a directory other than your cwd, decide you don't need that folder and rm -rf * in your cwd.
tl;dr: Alias rm to mv before you regret it. -
Well... Finding a text editor/script runner for ruby has been one of the most arduous experiences in my programming career 💀 :/7
-
I found that we cannot fuck any software or something like that, but those bitches can fuck us with errors, damn it :/
-
Why has to be axios sooo fucking bad? I just want to load one fuckin JSON. Server returns 200 but axios is trying to tell me it is fucking error.... Whyyyyy1
-
Today. Dropped in the middle of a project. Constant blocks. And no one will resolve them while demanding it be done next week.
-
public Geopoint(double latitude, double longitude)
{
Latitude = latitude;
Longitude = Longitude;
}
Me: "why is the longitude always 0"
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Good job that didn't make it onto Nuget... oh, wait, yeah it did.6 -
When you get an assignment by mail,
- you do those changes exactly as being asked, albeit one insignificant extra visual thing,
- you send back exactly what's changed (which is exactly what was being asked, but naming things as they are, clearer than I can ever explain changes),
- you go to the person that has assigned the very thing, explain it, he seems to get it,
...
Then.. a few hours later.. you get a reply via mail:
"Come explain what you're saying here, because I don't get it."
🤨 -
I hate university projects, they are so dumb sometimes.
Now I am supposed to write a Haskell like functional programming language using C++ templates, and I have 10 days to do it...
I'm looking forward to a day when I could finally wave the middle finger to this institution.5 -
So the views result counter global field in Drupal 8 doesn't like to be bothered with mathematic expressions in TWIG. FUCK FUKC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
It will render it's own value and seems to be cast as a string like other fields in the view but as soon as you try to increment it or multiply something by it, IT TURNS INTO ZERO!
😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 -
Programming is like when you need to clean up cables (make them look better).
You start motivated, you got a good idea of how you are going to it.... and after some time passes and you see nothing's better now... you say "fuck it" and continue to do what you wanted to do. -
Said just fuck it and pre-ordered the latest Gopro 7 black.
Been wanting to buy a proper easy to carry camera with stabilization. This seems to have hit the mark on features I want.
I have never ever pre-ordered anything before. Hope I won't regret this. -
Le me.
Tasked with eval’ing SPA frameworks.
Gets down to business with Vue.
Fuck this shit.
It’s lovely when it works, but heaven help you if *anything* is slightly off.
What the fuck is Webpack?! Fucking ugly-ass, hydra-looking fuckery is what it is.
Cypress? Hah! Does it want to work? No it fucking does not.
Does anything tell me what’s wrong? Nope.
I love OSS, but so much of it a complete clusterfuck of duct tape and prayers.4 -
i wonder, if i made an app such as google or another search engine that was almost exactly the same thing except it uses significantly less data (because we don't include all that tracker data), would anyone use it?7
-
all this fucking cloud sync bullshit on mac, iOS, and windows is driving me nuts... would all be fine if it only would work as expected -.-1
-
I know everyone loves to rub reacts inner scrotum all the time cause its just so damn awesome and popular but for real, there is a 50 millisecond delay when react updates its states. In that 50 milliseconds, my program is using that reactive state numerous times so woohoo react, im gonna have to run a fuckin 50 millisecond timeout when updating any of my states that consist of anything more then a plain text value.
-
So I decided to learn sass today... Turns out you need to run that good old watch command every session to make your styling work...
It only took me 42 lifetimes to discover that one...1 -
Anti climactic story time (as in there's no promotion in this story):
Sometime ago there were some organizational changes happening in my company that put me in a very tricky place. Theoretically, I was put on a level that was supposed to be an upgrade from my previous level. Practically, it didn't come with any benefits and it was actually a downgrade because anyone who joined the company in the six months before these changes was in the same level as me (who'd been in for roughly 2 years).
It felt really insulting because I was about to be actually promoted. My manager and his manager tried to gaslight me into believing that I'm not at all affected in any way, before giving in and agreeing that a mistake was made. I was promised that next year it'll be corrected and I'll be promoted two levels. Even the HR assured me of that. I knew it was too good to be true but I was too demotivated to find another job.
Fast forward one year. My bosses are all praises for the work I put in. But, no two level promotion. Reason? They tried but couldn't get the management to agree. The boss apologized to me and asked me if I wanted him to try again. What an insolent arse!
Fast forward one more, extremely glum year.
This time I am part of a different team so the team lead is different but the manager is same. The team lead really went all out with showing appreciation for me. He talked for almost an hour(!) about how I exceeded his expectations and went on to claim that his app's release would have been impossible if it weren't for me, the new team member. It was really humbling and satisfying. But what did I get? A limp handshake from the manager with fucking loose change.
Silver lining. At least the manager did away with the 'well wisher, on your side' pretense this time. No mentions of failed promises, just regular empty promises for the future.
Fast forward 3 months.
Still here. Recovering. I am mulling over a much better offer than what my current boss can give me. Thinking about how long it takes before I'm in the dumpster again. I have stopped giving any fucks about anything here. I try to do the minimum required unless it benefits me in some way.
The end.5 -
Fuck SSRS!
Fuck rsweb:ReportViewer!
Fuck MS Report Builder!
Fuck the people on the internet that made this all seem like it was feasible and easy!5 -
I looked at my S7 edge and thought to myself... When am I fixing this goddamn screen?
It has been a few months now
And I'm not going to a shop if I can do it myself a lot cheaper.
I'm actually looking into how to repair it and what stuff I need, so far I know about b7000 glue to keep I water resistant after the repair, of course some prying tools, maybe a hair dryer, and of course the screen itself, anything missing or am I good to go?
Naturally, im gonna post rant if my repair fails... -
Sometime I feel, god forget to write proper toggle command for me.
For others it is random, for me it is static. One sad life. Only hope is system run out of memory because it is recursion with no ending.
here is the dev-rant
After fucking with Laravel Passport for 3 days, I finally manage to find a way to do multi auth.
Yeah! dude I am the guy who is going to write a tutorial for that. So, you must -- this rant.1 -
When you config and test a wireless router in office and works fine but that motherfucker doesn't work in 5meters height :|2
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