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Search - "corporate bullshit"
Fuck corporate bullshit. I do the job, you pay me, the rest is pointless crap.
You are not my family, I don’t base my whole self worth on working for you and mostly I really don’t care.
I’m really not cut out for this shit.9
FUCK CORPORATE EMAIL SPAM
AND I DON'T MEAN SOME SOME EXTERNAL SCAM/AD/PISHING EMAILS
I MEAN THE SHIT MY OWN COMPANY SENDS TO ME
"tHE WelLbeIng Course : SiGN In now!!!!!"
"#MoRnIngcOfFEE witH SOME cORporatE TWAt"
"Give togetHER : LETs circLE JerK OurSeLveS in SOMe fuCKiNg oNLiNe mEetInG !!!!!!!"
I DON'T FUCKING CARE !
I GET DOZENS (IF NOT FUCKING HUNDREDS) OF SUCH SHIT EMAILS EVERY DAY.
IF I GO ON VACATION, I HAVE TO SPEND HOURS TO SORT SHIT OUT
I HAVE HAD TO SET UP ELABORATE OUTLOOK RULES TO GET IT SORTED AUTOMATICALLY INTO SOME MANAGEABLE FOLDERS (AND SPEND SOME OF MY LIMITED TIME, HERE ON EARTH, TO DO SO)
AND GUESS WHAT
THANKS TO THOSE STUPID RULES I MISSED, ONE FUCKING IMPORTANT EMAIL
CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME ?!!!
FOR CHRIST SAKE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID CORPORATE BULLSHIT
STOP SENDING IT TO ME9
Doing e-learning for a job
One of the examples provided:
"You could be late for work (fail to meet your objective of being on time) because you're hit by a car whilst crossing the road"
Are you fucking kidding me, I think being late to work would be the least of my worries. Fuck corporate bullshit.18
So, some years ago, my old firm was bought by a much larger company.
A couple years later, my CTO resigned, as he needed a week deserved break. I acted as interim CTO for half a year, with the full support of the CEO.
But then higher management removed my CEO for a politician 🤡. His first move is to ask my ex-CEO who to consider for CTO.
He adamantly vouches for me, but in the end, I'm not "political" enough. (Sure I admit I'm not the most organized person, and do not sweeten arguments to suits, but I had won the full trust of my previous superiors *and* fellow devs, and had people to cover for organizational stuff, and have successfully navigated situations with the world's biggest tech orgs).
So I'm again a dev, and they hire this new CTO at twice my salary. But as you can probably guess, who ends up still doing all the CTO work on top of his dev work? Yeah.
That drove me to quit, not because of the demotion, but for a denied minor raise when I was doing the work of someone with twice my paycheck.
As could be expected, once I quit, the CTO barely lasted 6 months.
Fun part is, I've been freelancing (successfully) from them on, and I've been contacted by this CTO, trying to hire me to do some work in his new company...
I'm torn whether to tell him to bite me, charge him a shitton of money or any other funny ideas.
Mind you, I don't dislike the guy, and he's not particularly annoying to work with, so I guess this doubles as a rant against corporate clowns, and a bit of advice seeking.8
Corporate hackathons are bullshit. I've swore them off. There is no way I'm going to be put in additional hours for so little gain ever again.
Companies have boatloads of money, and they think they can get away giving people $100 Amazon gift cards. SERIOUSLY? You pay for execs in millions of dollars for flapping their mouths.
Make it so that you pay out at least 20k+ to winners and give people something for participating - a nice 1k bonus.
You guys have enough money.5
All that I have been ranting about this year are first world problems. Not only because politics is the only taboo on devrant, but also because I have been making too much compromise again.
It seems that most of the money is paid in projects for industrial companies, marketing, and useless products. So I ended up doing only some work for impact projects and ecological startups, taking time to learn new technology, and otherwise waste my potential to make a change by doing web development for well paying companies.
Still better than the years before, when I was an employee. Corporate culture sucks, at least it seems so at most companies in Germany and probably also America and even more so in other countries?! As a freelancer, at least I have the choice not to agree to any offer. And I did say no to many offers this year.
But still ...
New year resolution: prioritize customers with a purpose to make the world a better place. Make less compromise. Stop complaining about bullshit tech and just get things done instead.4
Any advice on how to find proper customer as a freelancer? Should I go on fiverrr and pay for coldcalling and an assistant?
Because honestly I'm sick of corporations employing me (my company) for the sake of not paying taxes but still expecting a 9 to 5 and all the corporate bullshit.
I just want to get customer, do UX, pay a designer, get figmas, implement, invoice, repeat. Not have 3 hours spring grooming calls stuck between a team meeting with management, a demo and a mid-spring alignment review. Is that too much to ask?7
I have to participate in this retarded conference for 2 days and then I will have to join this fucking summer gathering on my weekend and that will take whole day. Fuck this fucking corporate bullshit. Better give me a fucking raise or better yet start fucking managing this scrum team because half of devs are not pulling their fucking weight.
Fucking BA too lazy to update issues with new details after grooming so each time I pick a new task I either have to somehow remember what we discussed weeks ago or I have to spam you with questions so you would run around like chicken without head while gathering answers to questions that were already discussed because you are too lazy of a fuck to compile notes. And even that is not enough, my merged MR's apparently dont cover all the use cases because your'e too incompetent to even figure out how our app works and define properly the task.
And then theres supposedly a techlead dev whos not taking a ticket when theres 3 days left till end of the sprint and he goes: "But a task spillover will happen!!!". Yeah so I guess just sit on your ass and wait for new sprint so you could pick yet again another low hanging fruit task and marinate it for weeks.
Motherfucker I checked your MR's in the last 6 weeks you did 1 week worth of work. You are a techlead but your only dev colleague is asking us for help daily because you dont even help him Fucking lazy and incompetent bastard.