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Search - "genesis"
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A physician, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."
The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world."
The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?"
Note:
Ten points for an arbitrarily female Computer Scientist. ;)4 -
Me: DMs coworkers that appear online after their working hours to check on them and make sure they’re not feeling like they’re obligated to work more/encouraging them to take time for themselves
Also me: Can’t sleep at 4am, so immediately start trying to chase down the genesis of an error someone complained about4 -
Bible verses.
Sorted from "wtf" to progressively more disturbing.
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1️⃣ One of many contradictions
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John 4:12
"No one has seen the face of God."
Genesis 32:31
"I have seen the face of God..."
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2️⃣ All-Knowing God, regrets creating you
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Genesis 6:6
"And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart."
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3️⃣ Says to kill all gay people
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Leviticus 20:13
"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, they have committed an abomination; the two of them shall be put to death; their bloodguilt is upon them."
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4️⃣ Approval of sex trafficking
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Exodus 21:7
"If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed."
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5️⃣ Says its ok to own slaves
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Exodus 21:20-21
"Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property."
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6️⃣ Says its ok to kill children
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Psalms 137:9
"Blessed the one who seizes your children and smashes them against the rock: the children represent the future generations, and so must be destroyed if the enemy is truly to be eradicated."
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7️⃣ Says a raped woman must marry her rapist
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Deuteronomy 22:28–29
"If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days."
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8️⃣ Says incest is ok
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Genesis 19:32-36
"Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father. That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father."19 -
After God created man what did He do?
“So God created Man in His own image.
In the image of God He created them.
Then God blessed them. . ,”
Genesis 1:27–28.
I love the blessing that Aaron pronounced on the Israelites:
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace,”
Numbers 6:24–26.
Years ago I ran across a piece that is based on a true story about when the court system made a decision about a school in Washington, IL. The valedictorian had gone to the ACLU for help and the ruling was that they could not have an invocation and benediction during graduation.
This ruling came down just three days before graduation.
I want to share this story with you because this it illustrates how the power of words is almost physically felt. I’ve included it here so you can see how it makes you feel.
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.
This class would NOT pray during the commencements, not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.
The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines (https://mcessay.com/research-papers...) allowed by the ruling.
They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine until the final speech received a standing ovation.
When Ryan Brown walked proudly to the microphone he quietly protested when he briefly stopped and bowed in silent prayer.
At this point the audience began to stand and applaud. He replied to the crowd, “Don’t applaud for me, applaud for God.”
When he reached the microphone he stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.
He faked a sneeze!
As planned, almost the entire class yelled,
‘GOD BLESS YOU’
As he walked off the stage the audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God’s blessing on their future with or without the court’s approval.
Now, you don’t have to wait until someone sneezes to bless your child. You bless them each time you tell him you love and affirm him.9 -
When it's early into the night
When the temperature is just right
When I'm surrounded by silence
And no distraction makes me defiance
When I'm feeling cozy and ready to read papers and program for my thesis
But I ruined the perfect night work genesis
BECAUSE I PROMISED TO GO TO MADAFUCKIN DINNER WITH FRIENDS
DAMNIT! -
God, playing SoulSilver has made me remember an era (or two, but I wasn't alive for one and the other was my childhood) where games were actually fucking *GOOD.* Some games can be absolute home runs now on rare occasion, but if I name consoles from these periods, you can INSTANTLY tell me at least one game that is pretty universally regarded as a best-ever.
Examples and predicted responses:
-Gamecube: Too fucking many to even count. Instant answers vary immensely, but everyone who's played games on this thing have one.
-Original Xbox: Halo 2 is the one instantly on one's lips, or maybe CE for some. Also JSRF.
-Dreamcast: SA2 or Phantasy Star or JSR or...
-PS1/2: Resident Evil, Spyro, Final Fantasy, Ratchet & Clank...
-PS3: Lara Croft games, Uncharted, Infamous... (this one's right on the border, it seems)
-NES: The fucking birthplace of modernized gaming.
-Genesis: Sonic games, obviously. Some may answer with arcade titles, too.
-SNES: Mario games. Mario Paint, SMW, SMW2, SMAS, a couple like Super Metroid or Kirby's Dreamland or F-Zero may come up too.
-N64: Banjo Kazooie, F-Zero GX, Waveracer, 1080, Zelda games...
-Gameboy (all systems:) Pokemon is the instant answer.
Now, a harder one:
-Wii U? Maybe one of the Mii game things? U-less games? Not many people remember the games for this system.
-Xbox One? Halo 5, pretty much. You probably played everything else on PC.
-PS4? The PS3 lineup, but without any soul? You played pretty much everything here on PC, too.
Is there a point to this rant? Yes. Kind of.
Games used to be great, not just due to better hardware, but due to people putting some goddamn heart and soul into making games, and due to creativity stemming from working on such limited hardware. It seems the more powerful consoles (and PCs!) get, the more gaming becomes a soulless cash grab to drain cash from wallets on subpar products with paywalls every 20 feet you have to clear to get the "full experience." Gaming has become less about letting people have fun and being creative with games and more about the bottom dollar, whether that be through making games as fast and as cheap as possible with as much paid content dumped on top as possible, or the systematic erasure of archival efforts to preserve gaming history. From what I read here on devRant, that seems to be the moral of anything computer-related as well. Computers are made to slow down and fail far faster than normal via OEM bloat and shitty OSes, and are used to constantly empty one's wallets with constant licensing fees and free trials and deliberate consumer ignorance. None of it's about having fun anymore. Fun seems to no longer have a place in computing at all.
If you take anything from any of the madman-esque loosely-structured rambling i'm saying here, make it that "the enemy of creativity is the abscense of limitations... and the presence of greed." Another message i'd like to leave you with is "start having fun when making things whenever possible, as it improves not just the dev process, but user experience, too." You can't always apply this, and sometimes you can never do so, but always keep it in mind.14 -
So the whole plot of Neon Genesis is basically Gendoh destroying the current world to create a new world where his wife isn't dead?2