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Search - "hard to concentrate"
Here's some advice for you. If you work from home and are thinking of having kids, reconsider one of those options.
Either hold off on having kids 'til you don't work from home, or get yourself some office space.
Working from home and having young kids at the same time are not two compatible things.
When they hit the terrible twos (somewhat inaccurately named as they start before the age of two), EVERYTHING they don't want to do results in a screaming fit, and not just a small screaming fit, a full blown raising the dead style wailing and thrashing around style tantrum.
They try to assert control over every aspect of their lives, and with limited ability to express what they actually want, they use whatever method they can.
The eldest is currently screaming that she needs the potty again because it's now bed time. The last 5 times she went in quick succession, she didn't need it. She just doesn't want to go to bed and that is the method she is using to try to take control.
I have about 3 hours work left to do or I'll be starting tomorrow behind where I need to be.
I had about 3 hours work to do at 6:30 when the bed time routine began.
It's likely that when she's cried herself out in about 45 minutes, I'll still have 3 hours work to do.
If you have a young child, seriously, invest in some office space.
Ask a friend if you can borrow some space at their house, find somewhere that you can hot-desk, but seriously don't bother trying to work from home.
You will spend hours with your head in your hands knowing that if you try to comfort them, you are just enforcing the pattern of behaviour that you have to break before it becomes all encompassing.
There is nothing as soul crushing as hearing your child cry for the attention they want, knowing full well that this particular tantrum is them trying to take control of a situation.
The more worked up they get, the harder it is for them to stop and trying to help just fuels it.
My patience is so stretched, but if I go in to cuddle her, she'll demand to go to the potty so she's out of the cot, I'll say no, and we start the cycle all over again.
Being a parent is incredibly difficult, and pretty much every parent will have to deal with something like this at some point, but if you can make sure you don't need to concentrate on something critical at the same time, I can't recommend it highly enough.
To be clear here, I absolutely adore my kids. I would very willingly sacrifice my life, my sanity or my wellbeing for them if it called for it, and I wouldn't need to debate the prospect.
It's the very fact that I adore my kids that this is difficult - I know that for her sake, we have to break this pattern of behaviour.
If I didn't give a fuck, I'd just ignore her and crack on. Hearing her scream like that is like being punched repeatedly in the stomach. It's a gut wrenching, hellish sensation like I've never felt before in my life and every fibre of my being wants to go in there, pick her up, and cuddle her so she doesn't feel sad.
Some instincts are very deep rooted and very hard to subvert.14
Once, at my first job, the CEO of the company sent a group email in which he essentially lambasted my ability to do my job.
I wasn't even hired as a programmer, I was a data entry guy who learned how to code on the job, and at this point I was literally the only person writing code for the company. I regularly worked 12+ hours every day, and even though I had to learn practically everything on my own I was still getting things done -- at least, I would have gotten things done if the CEO didn't keep pulling me off of my projects to work on whatever his latest ultra-important-idea-of-the-week was. I was even working for an 8 hr/day, 5 day/week salary, putting in extra hours for free.
But no, my sacrifices and hard work weren't good enough in the CEO's eyes, and he chose to say that to multiple people in an email, including investors in our startup. I don't remember exactly what was said, but whatever it was made me so livid I couldn't do any work; every time I sat down to code, I thought about that email and it so infuriated me that I couldn't concentrate. It took me twelve hours just to calm down enough to get back to coding.
After that, I refused to communicate with the CEO except through my boss, the CTO.7
I'm actually a Dev, mostly just a shell scripter who needs to support 500 servers which run our applications. I install the new versions and check whatever is wrong if there are customer issues.
One release weekend everything went wrong, Development had to make new builds on the fly with hardly any time for testing.
It took 18 hours with no break.
It was extremely hard to concentrate, but being in the Skype group with everyone and finally getting everything fixed was quite rewarding.
Everyone just opened a beer and we stayed on the call for about 30 more minutes just to relax.
I like our Dev team way better than I like my actual colleagues, who merely mess things up and call me for the smallest thing without even thinking.4
I started using GitHub for my codes lately, so instead of diving into the code, I make sure to mess with GitHub to have it available online, then I admire the design of GitHub, then I drift to YouTube, listen to music and can not concentrate. Then I open Facebook and tell everyone how hard my life is 😂3
I love hard rock, heavy metal, thrash metal... But I can't concentrate listening Metallica or Slayer. I used to study with electronic music, but really I don't like this music. Finally I found a solution. I'm listening videogames soundtracks like Diablo or Ocarina of Time and I feel better with myself.
What a nostalgic feeling!!!5
Feeling so dumb right know.
I have a C# exam tomorrow (on paper) and i can't get my brain to think in code.
I can't focus, I can't concentrate. I don't remember things i normally know by heart. Is it just stress? (Everything is pretty hard atm, lots of stress, lots of problems).
What could i do? I'm pretty messed up right now...13
I've became sort of an introvert over the years, because of bad relationships.
I started uni this year, and I thought I could make some good new friends.
The majority of them are 18+, but they seem like 10...
Stupid and dumb conversations, and during classes they are always laughing and talking...
And I have concentration problems, and with everyone talking is hard to concentrate.
This is going to be a hard year.....8
I sort of have to give a back story to understand how I ended up where I did. (So here is where the psychedelic spinning dreamlike flashback begins)
I had been a Junior developer at a small Magento agency, one month into this job, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 bladder cancer. because I was taking so much time off for my treatments, surgeries, and the fact I wasn't putting the correct hours on my time card in the first place because I was struggling to understand the concepts and felt it wasn't there duty to pay me for my ineptness, we both mutually agreed I'd become a contractor and only do contract work for them. Ofc, because we were completely broke, my family had to move into a travel trailer 2 1/2 hours away, it was not even economically viable for me to even get to the job any more. I had another major surgery coming up so I just ended up quitting to concentrate on my recovery.
We still had bills to pay and absolutely no income. To this day I still have no clue how we made it through this part of our lives, but we did. My wife is disabled and at this juncture her disability with the government was still in review (it was rejected and it took another year and a half and a lawyer to finally win approval, but that is another unrelated story) but anyways I tell this as my wife was definitely unable to work as well. It was a pretty bad situation really.
(This is why I don't have much patience with people who complain about not being able to find a job etc. If I can do it, anyone can)
We were two cripples with a 3 year old at the time, homeless for all intents and purposes (living in a 16 foot travel trailer with a generator and no running water)
As soon as I could walk again, I took a job at Walmart. Physically, I was not well enough to do the work, and they were really pushing me hard. So it became necessary for me to try and find something else.
I started applying to everything and anything I could find in my area, sysadmin, junior developer, intern, anything in tech.
Went to a few interviews and nothing came of them. I was desperate, so I kept applying and going to interviews.
Got a call for a remote position in tech support for a Magento specific hosting company. They were interested in me for my previous knowledge of Magento. The other people on the team were sysadmins only. But this company specialized in helping customers fix there Magento stores, troubleshoot code, etc.
They gave me a sysadmin test where I ssh into a server and do magic. I totally bombed the test (17%), thought for sure that was the end.
But this guy seemed pretty intent on taking a chance on me.
Within a week they hired me. I wear multiple hats. I write scripts for them, plugins for there own store, integrations for just about everything from deskpro/zabbix/Magento, to talk to each other, API's etc. Plus tech support. I've actually excelled quite well at this job.
Was able to move my family back into a home and actually have furniture and a bed again.
Work on my own side projects, continuing to learn and increase my skills, while still coding things here and there in between my role in support.
It isn't a full time Dev position, and eventually i'd like to be back into a full time Dev. But this is way better than Walmart, and it pays relatively well, well enough for my family to not struggle. Plus I feel I owe them some loyalty for them taking a chance on me, but mostly the job is remote so it is perfect for me at this time in my life. I can work from anywhere, including the hospital, and Dr offices. It has given me my confidence back and I am casually applying at other companies for a full time Dev position, but being very picky because, I am not in any hurry. I want a really great job with high satisfaction and great team members, as most of you know from my previous rants, things got a little out of control at this company for a few weeks, it was my own ego and narcissism that interjected itself when it shouldn't have. We worked it out and I'm staying around indefinitely now.
So if you think your life is bad, always remember, it could be worse.3
I love building stuff and when i have something that I'm really into, it's hard to concentrate on the boring stuff i need to finish first.
Sometimes i just need to do what i feel like doing, doesn't matter. No, i won't go to bed, no i can't do the other stuff, i need to do that!1