7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.

Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.

Fuck.

Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.

Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.

Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.

He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.

And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.

I need a fake rock with a key under it.

Great Sunday.

1. I join a company.

2. I get deeply involved in "how to run the company", and get nice compliments from both coworkers & management about my skills in conveying startup/scaleup advice & necessities to upper management.

3. With my ego inflated through all the sweet talk, I think "ah, what the hell, let's do this again", and I accept a Lead/CTO promotion. I have to join board meetings, write reports on quarterly plans and progress.

4. I get unhappy/stressed/burned-out because I really just want to be a developer, not a manager/executive.

5. Upper management understands, I give up my lead position, lock myself back into my coding cave.

6. I get annoyed because the requirements I receive become more and more disconnected from reality, half of the teams seem to have decided to stop using agile/scrum, the testing pipeline breaks all the time, I get an updated labor contract from HR by mail which smells like charred flesh, etc

7. The annoyances become too much to do ANY work. I yell at the other devs outside of the entrance of my cave. There is no answer, only a few painful moans and sighs.

8. I emerge from my cave. The city has turned into a desolate wasteland. The office is a burning ruin, the air sharp and heavy with black soot. Disemboweled corpses of developers litter the poisoned soil.

Product Managers dressed in stained ripped suits scream at each other while they try to reinforce concrete barricades with scotch tape and post-its. *THUMP* Something enormous is trying to break through. "Thank God, bittersweet, you're still alive! The stakeholders! They have mutated! We couldn't meet the promised deadlines! We've lost the whole mobile app department, and that kid there is the last of the backenders and he's only an intern! You're here to save us, right? RIGHT?".

In the corner, between the overflowing coffee machine and a withered cactus, a young boy has collapsed onto the floor. His face is covered in moldy coffee grounds, clasping on to his closed macbook for dear life, wide-open eyes staring into the void, mumbling: "didn't backup the database, and It's all gone" over and over.

A severely dented black Tesla with a dragging loose bumper breaks through the dried up vertical herb garden and the smoothiebar, and comes to a halt against the beanbags in a big cloud of styrofoam balls.

The CEO limps out, leaking blood all over the upholstery. He yells to the COO: "The datacenter is completely flooded with sewage! I saved the backup tapes though", holding a large nest of tangled black magnetic tape mixed with clumps of mud above his head.

9. I collect my outstanding salary and sell any rewarded options/shares for a low dumping price, take a 5 month holiday, and ask a recruiter about opportunities in a different city.

Today was just marvelous. Locked up my car with keys inside and with engine on.

I was driving back home from work. I drove to a parking near home, which is really long, narrow and impossible to turn around. So I decided to get out of a car, for like, 30 secs and go check, if there were any unoccupied parking places. Parking brake; I stepped out of the car and closed the door. Click.
Brilliant.
I knew, that I needed to change contacts in the driver door, that sometimes were triggering central car lock, but I didn't expecting such outcome.
So, I am outside.
Engine is on.
Parking brake.
My backpack and phone were inside.
Luckily, one neighbor wanted to drive somewhere, so I explained, why he can't donit, why my car is here and asked to watch my car for 5 mins while I will run home.
So I ran home in home to find a second pair of keys.
After some time, LUCKILY, I found them, went back and unlocked my car...

Moral: don't delay things.. Small fixes to prolong life of some object will eventually fail in very, very uncomfortable manner.

I'm glad I found spare keys and there were no need to break my own car window... And I DO care about my car and do lot of things by myself.

Gosh ! I'm a genius !
- Working on a Sysadmin school project
- configuring the firewall
- looking myself out
- beg my teacher for reinstall
Fml right now ...

digital lock is broken so I'm locked outside the office. I'm the first to arrive by an hour gap, so I'm here waiting for maintenance to let me in 🤡🤡🤡

I'm literally in pain right now and not a thing I can do.

If I eat whatever the fuck is wrong with my jaw (cracked tooth or cavity) starts throbbing from the chewing action, in addition to coming on for no reason at all. vision-blurred-waves-of-nausea levels of pain. Enough that I'm alternating between laughter and almost tears.

I've downed four aspirin and it's still just barely enough WITH the numbing gel.

Got lock jaw something aweful.

Barely convinced a dentists office, which is supposed to be closed (and cancelled all it's appointments due to corona), to come in during quarantine. But thats monday. Dont kno how I'll make it. They do payment plans but I'm flat broke because I decided to pursue programming right when all this fucking bullshit went down.

And all I can think of while im typing this is the pain.

And fuck me I cant do weed because my backup plan if I fail at coding is the military.

And this stray dog that the neighbors 'adopted' but leave outside WONT STOP FUCKING BARKING.

Fuck me. Just kill me now. Do it.

Gonna go watch comedy because I read a research paper that says genuine laughter raises pain threshold by up to 10%.

Well i see those as two separate problems. To focus get a pot of coffee, put headphones on loud enough to tune out any outside noise, and lock the door. As for procrastination lean into the damn skid, go find something you like to do and come back later. The longer you fight it the more unproductive time you're going to have, and in my experience i get more done in 3 productive hours than i do in 8 unproductive hours

Story of two poor puppies

when my mom returned from market, she saw a puppy with her
siblings surrounded by people choosing which one to take.
she pick one puppy. she's color is grayish black puppy with the tip
of his tail and a place in she's neck.

she whined and cried when she separated from her siblings and Mom.
but she quickly familiarize herself with the new family and place.
she was very happy when we bring her sister we found in the same place.
I take care of them.
I feed, wash and play with the new friends.
we built them a house. they were very happy and playful.
but things started to go downhill all of a sudden.
my parents start to prevent me from playing with them.
they say " We bring the puppies for them to be guards ".
they really hate dogs. they started to lock
the house and the window. they had to pass all day in the
same place
(How BORING) they pee there, eat there sleep there.
Since me and my sis prevented from take care of them, we couldn't
do anything all this only to make them cruel dogs and very unfriendly
to people.
when time pass, they started to forget them.
before yesterday, we remembered that we didn't
give them any food or water for the past 3 DAYS !!!
my sister unlock the door for them and they get out
from the house (~Prison~). they were completely
different. the gray puppy was very tired and depressed
and unhealthily skinny. the sister was fine.

we let them outside for few days when the gray puppy
started to get more and more skinny.

he lies on the floor all the day, when we are nearby, she
only wag it's tail no more.

Today, I wake up only to hear the bad story
the gray puppy, well we found her 0x00DEAD ! ! ! !

immediately after I heard the phrase, I burst into tears
I really couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even see that
cute face 0x00DEAD.

My sister's case was way worse than me. the is still
crying at the time of writing. we didn't see their funeral.

the other puppy was very sad because of her sibling

The Worst part is, we didn't name them or take ANY
photo with them !!! :`(