Working with a client...the resident """sysadmin""" hasn't actually been a sysadmin since the early 90s, the last OS he _actually_ managed was SunOS 5 or something. I can't remember what he said. He hasn't kept up AT ALL with modern technologies/terminologies. He's convinced SELinux is a security hardened kernel. We've explained to him several times that it's not but he sees Linux and thinks Linux 1.0 from the 90s. It's downright embarrassing.

Now this would all be well if I didn't have to interface with him often, but the client WILL NOT give me access to their systems. So I have to go through him to get anything done. Which is over webex. So I get to watch this guy type (and mess up) basic commands over and over (he isn't aware of tab completion of any of the bash features that are super useful). So I'm telling him what to type and the delay is always just enough for him to get too far in the command to back out, so its like SSH-over-incompetence with a 500ms ping. It's truly infuriating.

Every once in a while he'll get frustrated enough to hand me control of his webex session, which isn't as painful but once again the delay is bad enough it's still a pain.

Best part is that he looks EXACTLY like Milton from Office Space. So thats one plus to this whole situation!

Doing Linux server management stuff via ssh with a FUCK 500ms PING IS NOT FUN AT ALL

GET OFF THE FUCKING NETWORK EVERYONE 😤😤😤😤😤

Attempting to access my colleague's NFS directory on his VM, don't know the VM's IP address, hostname or password:

- 2 minutes with nmap to narrow the possible IPs down to ~30

- Ping each and look for the one with a Dell MAC prefix as the rest of us have been upgraded to Lenovo. Find 2 of these, one for the host and one for the virtual machine.

- Try to SSH to each, the one accepting a connection is the Linux VM

- Attempt login as root with the default password, no dice. Decide it's a lost cause.

- Go to get a cup of tea, walk past his desk.

- PostIt note with his root password 😶

FYI this was all allowed by my manager as he had unpushed critical changes that we needed for the release that day.

>Discovers a new low level profiling tool that could help us at work with stuck process debugging and gets all hyped
>Installs on test machine, tool doesn't work
>Wonders why. Oh. Needs a kernel module to work, compiled and loaded
>"Well, its my test machine... Guess that's no problem..." but... my hype died down a bit. Kernel module installation just for a new tool that aggregates all other commonly used tools? eh... Maybe it will blow me out of my shoes still

>Installs and loads the module
>Tool works. Turns out its just a htop-like tool, with shortcuts to launch specific other profiling tools like strace/ltrace/lsof/netstat/ss etc...
"Oh... That's boring. Maybe it has all those tools built in at least?"
>Tries to run ltrace - tool exits as ltrace is not installed

Lol
>Installs ltrace and launches tool again. Tries to ltrace a process and
>Nothing. Nothing happens. For seconds... Then kicks me off of SSH
WTF?
>Tries to ping machine... silence
Did... our net go down again? (Having issues due to a storm going over our area these few days)
>Pings google and... gets instant reply
More wtf
>Pings the hypervisor the machine was running on
Works like normal

Oh... Oh no. Please tell me it didn't!
>Logs into the hypervisor UI, checks machine state
Running OK
>Opens machine console aaaaand... Yep. Stacktrace as well as a lot of kernel mumbo-jumbo... It took the machine down to kernel panic.

I never went so quick from "We need this tool deployed everywhere" to "Omg I need to get rid of this crap as soon as possible" lol.

And just for those wondering, it was sysdig.

```
me@host $ vagrant init bento/centos-7.2
me@host $ vagrant up && vagrant ssh

me@vm $ ping google.com
error: unknow host
```

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

I FUCKING REINSTALLED BOTH, VIRTUALSHITBOX AND VAGRANTFUCK; THIS IS FROM FUCKING SCRATCH, WHAT THE FUCKING SHITFUCK DO YOU MEAN WITH UNKNOWN HOST???

At this point of my side project I wanted to check out openresty for dynamic proxy creation in nginx.

Happy to check it out I installed centos 7 as guest using new command I just learned virt-builder that would automate vm creation.

Spend 10 hours debugging why I can ping and ssh but cannot get to application port from any network.

Checked iptables, restarted network, reinstalled vm again 3 times with different methods.
Scrolled trough whole internet and it’s mostly outdated problems.
Learned bunch of new commands without new results.

Results were always the same:
No route to host.

Turned out firewalld is fucking thing now.

systemctl firewalld stop helped

Now I know that systemd would kill me at some point for sure.

What I can add at this point ?

Please add more distros, differences, standards and programming languages so world definitely would be better place.
I need a short break now to actually start making shit that I wanted to start at 4-5pm on Saturday.
It’s Sunday 3:30am and time for breakfast.
At least I am happy it started working.

The ability to ssh to an Earth terminal.

chown -R sionc /socialmedia/facebook
chown -R sionc /alphabet

I would then have the resources to do way bigger projects. Elon Musk can keep his businesses though. I like Elon Musk.

I'd maybe chown my company too, just for fun.

I'd ping my fiancé everytime she goes in a mood and ignores me for half an hour. She'd have to respond and it would annoy her. :3

userdel could be used on the bad people. >:)

There's probably a whole list of these that I've not even thought of that I'll see people write in the comments. I'm pretty sure this could get dangerous.

I just had to share this with you guys 😂

So, I was working on my code base and wanted to update my remote with the local changes. I issued the git push command but it just remained unresponsive, no error-nothing. (I use bitbucket as remote host). This was strange, even enabling verbose option didn't tell me anything useful apart from usual 'pushing this to that' sort of response. I checked internet connectivity on my system. It's fine. I restarted my network-mananger just in case, tried if ping, telnet and other tools were working. Everything seemed fine.

Well, it turns out for a major portion of the day bitbucket was having issue with ssh connection. Finally I added https remote and was able to push my changes using 'username', 'password' route.

It wasted a good portion of my time today!!