How programmers comment their code

Yoda speaks like he wasn't careful with his async calls

"a Jedi You are"

I hope you will forgive me for a third hand story, but I'm one of those evil developers, not a support per se. But I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway. So this happened to a colleague of a colleague:

$Hero - our hero. $Cop - A representative of our hard worked law enforcement agency.

So $Hero is happily speeding along in his car, running a few yellow lights a bit late, etc. Finally, the law catches up to him and pulls him over. Here's how the conversation went:

$Cop: Can I see your driving license, please?

$Hero (with smug grin): Certainly. Here it is, officer.

$Cop takes license back to motorcycle and speaks into radio.

$Hero: It's not going to help you any, though.

$Cop (with no reaction): What do you mean?

$Hero (with wider grin): The server you have to check it against is down.

$Cop (still no reaction): And why do you say that?

$Hero: Because I'm the guy they called to get on site and get it up again.

Our hero did not get a fine this time. Instead he got a police escort to his workplace.

Source: reddit r/talesfromtechsupport

Why did I miss my turn while driving ? I was dreaming about authentication strategies in micro services.

me deleting print statements after debugging my code

The wife is asleep. The two year old wrecking ball of a boy is asleep. Wanted to finish a library to run kafka/grpc for nodejs microservices with plug and play functionality.

Make some tea. Figured the caffeine will keep me up. Maybe work late night. It'll be fun.

Then diarrhea hits. Now, staying up late because apparently I ate something I shouldn't have. Don't you hate it when that happens?

When the new employee shows up with new ideas and is all excited to work there.

Dev dev = new Dev();
dev.setIsNewToCommunity(true);
dev.post("Hey all!");

You don't need to reinvent the wheel, but you have to know how it works.

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Scalability

This mission looks pretty interesting

Ever been scared to open your laptop in public because you can't remember if you closed the porn you were watching the prior night?

Am I the only one that found this funny?

Why does everyone want to work at Google? I know it's a great job and all, but the amount of blogs talking about how they got their internship at Google and how it was their life goal makes me suspicious.

❤ binary weather.

Working as a freelancer I have to hand in a monthly timesheet. I was told to print it out three times and sign them. A photocopied signature would not be acceptable.
After one year I found out that the manager signs one of the sheets, throws the other two away and makes two copies of the signed one.
I asked him why I have to give him three sheets then.
He answered: I don't know either.

Now the fun fact: the next copier is a 2min walk from his office

Got a 2 level promotion today.. I am now an architect!

I worked in a BPO, throughout my engineering degree(yes I'm Indian), only to end up with mediocre grades. To think of it I gave up on this industry even before my first interview.. My friends forced me to the interview and made sure I sit through each round. Now I'm the fastest growing individual in an organization of 45000 people. Fuck!

My coworker used to write code but never bothered with indents and nests. He got fired for not following the rules of the company. I know this sounds boring but w/e

I can't afford a Mac. :/

Lol 😂😂😂👨🏻‍💻

!rant
Handed over my keys and computer to my boss a moment ago and left the office for the last time. Spent 3 years there, and most of the people there came with me from my previous job I spent another 3 years at.
Feels heavy to leave a bunch of great people.

Two weeks until I start my job as a developer at a game company though.
Took me 6.5 years of work to finally get there.
Super stoked!

And I won't lie, some stickers on my new work laptop would not be a bad thing.

The DevRant community has such nice people, I wonder if anyone has used the downvote button even once. I haven't!

I spent all my saving on a new PC... I wanted the stickers... But no rant of mine gets enough upvotes :/

need some stickers for my new Raspberry pi 3 😊

That moment after you do a fresh install of an OS and think "Wow everything is so fast and so much space"

You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

How to get your long time pending payment?

I stopped the website and then client told me that website is not working and asked me to check what's wrong.

Me: Your cloud server has been disturbed by the recent cyclone, and I won't fix that until I get my pending payment.
Got all the pending payment instantly.

There are two kinds of people...
Which one are you?

It's not a bug.