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Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.
60 -
This is when writing a script that sets up your dev environment pays off...
Having 6 new employees join our startup. The script installs pretty much all dev tools and apps as well as sets up the device management profiles. 😎
24 -
What advice would I give a new dev?
"Learn COBOL"
No one specified that it had to be 'good advice'7 -
*came in this morning to see this conversation in slack from the remote teams*
Dev: Hey guys, I'm trying to push to the develop branch, telling me its locked. Is there a new process?
Lead dev: Yes I locked it because the repo is now dead, the last release that went out is the last for this year and ever for this app. Were merging this app with another, starting from the last release's code. We'll all have to swap over to the new repo soon.
Dev: ... eh ok I didn't put anything in the last release branch as it wasn't urgent. Normally our process is anything in /develop goes out in the new year. I've been merging to /develop for the last few weeks ... is that code now gone?
*14 question mark emoji reactions*
Lead dev: Yes
*27 angry emoji reactions*
Engineering manager: WHAT? when was this decided? When was it communicated?
Lead dev: oh I assumed my product counterpart had been spreading the messages around, have they not?
Several teams: no, nope, first i'm hearing of it.
Lead dev: Ok, i'll ask them what happened. Be aware then that most of the stuff thats going into develop now, most likely won't be allowed in until March. They want to prioritise releasing this new merged app and don't want anything to impact it.
Dev: So wait, i'm working on stuff now. What do I do? Where do I base the branch? Where do I merge?
<no response>
*My team comes into the office*
Dev: eeehhh ... what does this mean for our past 4 weeks of work? and all the stuff needed to go out in January?
Me: not.a.fucking.clue16 -
Manager: How long until the current set of tickets is complete?
Dev: Based on storyboard points it’ll be 1.5 weeks from now
Manager: That’s unacceptable! Let me take a look at the board and see if I can remove some low priority tickets.
*Later that day*
Manager: Oooo I found a bunch of really exciting tickets in the backlog that I forgot about. I’ve added them to the board.
Dev: Did you remove any?
Manager: Huh? Oh right. No, I looked and it all needs to get done.
Dev: With these new tickets added to the board our new estimate is 4 weeks.
Manager: WHAT?!? BUT I SPENT ALL DAY LOOKING FOR EFFICIENCIES!!
Dev: …15 -
Dev stickers are for loosers.
No for real， just received the new computer i ordered . i hear my daughter scream something from the other side of the house.
I thought she said:“is this your new computer?”
But actuaylly she said: “can i put stickers on you new computer???”
17 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you17 -
Mac: Hello welcome please sign in
Dev: Fair enough
Mac: Oh you haven’t signed in in awhile please get get verification from other device
Dev: kk
Mac: Oh you don’t have a dev account, please sign in on this website
Dev: Hm.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account you need to download this app
Dev: ???
Mac: Are you sure you want to open this app you just downloaded?
Dev: Sigh.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account on this app you need to sign into it
Dev: For the love of god
Mac: Ok now you can build with Xcode.
Xcode: No you can’t. You have to sign in
Dev: fuck sakes.
Mac: Are you sure you want Xcode to access files on your computer?
Dev: …Yup
Xcode: Signing in isn’t enough you have to select the fact you are signed in a dropdown nested 3 menus deep.
Dev: God damn.
Xcode: Build failed please sign in to phone as well.
Phone: New sign in detected, please verify with alternative device.
Dev: Jesus.
Xcode: Build success! Pushing to iPhone.
Dev: Finally.
Xcode: Unknown error occurred. Please go to support.apple.com for help. :)
Dev: …20 -
New boss rant here!
Boss: Can you give me an estimate for a new project that we willbe running?
Dev: Oh yes I have already calculated at approximately three months.
Boss: Thats great start on it!
3 months laters....
Boss: Why did it take so much? I feel like our productivity sucks.
Dev:...5 -
When I was 12 I started programming by makimg games. Then when I was 18 I stopped with a game dev study (because of personal reasons). I went to a web dev study and found work 4 years later. Today my company hired a new sales person who has worked at a few game dev companies and she said she will try to put me on game dev projects.
Im so happy now :D4 -
Client: I need this very complex feature
Dev : Ok, give me approx 2 weeks, this is new to me, have to do r&d.
Client: I can't give you 2 weeks, you have 2 days.
Dev: Somehow manages to complete in 2 days.
After few weeks.
Client's representative : What's the progress on the new features?
Dev: You haven't mentioned any new features yet.
Client's representative: I don't care, it's been weeks now, here are more complex features, I need them tomorrow.
😕12 -
I quit my job today.
It was odd and uncomfortable and emotional and I'm gonna miss many of the nice people here but ultimately my boss was like "I always knew a bright mind like yours would only be here temporarily" 🥺😍 I'm starting somewhere cooler soon and I'm so excited!8 -
Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.
New Dev: Sure. Thanks.
*a few minutes later*
New Dev: How to comment a code?
Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.11 -
Today @ 4pm:
New dev: I need help with this issue, i've been stuck on it all day.
Me: ok let's look ...... ok, and did you try google this?
New dev: ... no
Me: ... why?
New dev: well this is clearly my issue, why would I google it? I only google for things I don't know
Me: ... ok ... we'll do you know what this bug is then?
New dev: haha ok, fair point, I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.
Seriously, should I be worried? I feel worried13 -
Why the fuck would you assign two new values to the same variable in consecutive lines like that ? I swear this project is driving me nuts. Fuck the dev who wrote this.
4 -
Recruiter Email: We need experience in Doker!
Dev: I could potentially be interested, what is this new technology? I've never heard of Doker!
Recruiter: It's not super new, it's the traditional Doker! You know, good ol' Doker!
Dev: Like Poker? Or Joker? 🤡
Recruiter: What?
Dev: What?9 -
Project Manager: Hey Gid, we need to start migrating project-A to the new Server.
Me: Okay, I will inform Dev-Q.
Project Manager: Please do and treat as top priority!
Me: Hey Dev-Q, we need to migrate project-A to the new Server and we need to get it done asap.
Dev-Q: But I'm currently working on some critical bug XYZ which PM wants fixed before COB.
Me: I dunno maybe you want to speak with him.
Dev-Q: I was told to...
Project Manager: Yes! we need that done right away.
Dev-Q: What about the critical...
Project Manager: No! treat this as top priority the client just called.
Dev-Q: Okay.
Me: Any update yet?
Dev-Q: Yep but it seems like the database is quite large and the migration may take a while.
Me: Okay take your time.
Dev-Q: {hours later} Pheww done! All files and database migrated successfully.
Project Manager: Good good. So the critical bug XYZ was also completed and migrated to the new server right?
Dev-Q:
5 -
At new work, I am supposed to use Windows. So I need to learn how to Dev on Windows. Google is not helping.
Image for reference. And the list goes on...
15 -
This community really motivates me to master my skills and learn new stuff to become a great dev. Thank you!4
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Dev: Your PR only addresses a quarter of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now 1/2 of the ticket is addressed and creates a new PR for a separate ticket*
Dev: Your original PR only addresses half of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now 3/4 of the ticket is addressed and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR only addresses 3/4 of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now all of the ticket is addressed but two new bugs are introduced and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR introduces 2 new bugs
Dev2: *limps a commit addressing one of the two new bugs and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR still has one bu—
Manager: WOW GOOD JOB DEV2 THAT’S 5 PRs TODAY AMAZING! Dev you need to pickup the pace, you only have 2 PRs so far today. And get these PRs from Dev2 QA’d fast. He’s a rockstar!
Dev: …
*The 4 other PRs turned out to be equally dogshit*
Manager: Hey hurry up with QA, you’re holding Dev2 back!
Dev: …7 -
Manager: I just created a new ticket! The website flashes when you reload it!
Dev: Yes, that's typically what happens when you reload a website.
Manager: ...
Dev: ...5 -
Lead Dev: Just use jQuery, it'll save us from adding a whole new directive in Angular.
Me: 🤦♂️
Coworker: 🤦♀️10 -
When the whole dev team desperately tries to convince the boss to get Linux on the new servers instead of windows.6
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Manager: That last dev you hired is working out well. Where did you get him from?
Dev: *Looking at new hire’s resume which only contains a single bootcamp and nothing else*
Dev: He’s a rescue.11 -
New "dev" at our company. One of his first questions. "Could an if clause have two conditions?"... /me *facepalm* ... where did my boss find this Person and what did he told him?4
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A new type of dev hiring strategy:
I'll pick some selected rants from devRant and show it to the candidate on a white board. Their reaction will decide their chances of hiring ;-)1 -
hey everyone, I'm new to Dev rant. not quite sure what to say. so i guess I'll just observe.
cheers3 -
So I started new job, full js dev but new project requires python backend. 0 prior python exp but ready to lean and learn. Got my first assignment. Supportive coworkers made me a death clock counter
2 -
Alternative job if I weren‘t a dev?
Politician creating new dev jobs by passing annoying new data privacy laws each year.4 -
Had a great time yesterday explaining a C++ dev on a UNIX box that yes, he actually has to shut down his machine before adding this new extra 8gb memory...4
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Me: I wanna talk to my friends!
Non-dev friends: hey! We're on facebook!/instagram
Dev-friends: Maybe slack? Telegram?
Others: Whatsapp! Skype!
Result: lots of social media apps and considering new friendships15 -
- hire a new Dev.
- not burnout this year
- work less, deliver more
- start a open source side project and make it production ready7 -
Left dev tools open while working then opened a new tab and went to Amazon. Noticed this in the HTML source.
Say hello to the Amazon Catduck.
9 -
Using Ubuntu for the first time on my new XPS-13 Dev. Ed.
I'm loving the OS but it sure is frustrating. Can't even get Spotify to download -.-
27 -
I literally don't understand why every entry level dev position requires a minimum of 5 years of experience. Have people forgot what entry level means?!?! I just want a new job 😩5
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My new years dev resolutions are:
-Learn more c#
-Change jobs
-Read less reddit while on the clock
-Remember that the index on enums start at 03 -
New spin on the Manager / Dev format!
Recuiter: WE NEED AN ABSOLUTE NODE EXPERT, NODE NODE NODE, WE LOVE NODE! WHAT IS YOUR NODE EXPERIENCE?!?!
Dev: Well I've had exposure to it since it was nearly new, all the way back in 2012, and since my professional career started about 7 years ago I've used it fairly often on a per-project basis.
Recruiter: WELL HAVE YOU BEEN USING IT DAILY FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS!?!
Dev: Well no, as I said I've used it for specific projects... anyway, there are these things called weekends...
Recruiter: WELL WE ONLY WANT NODE ZOMBIES SO SORRY.
Dev: Thanks for reaching out and wasting my time.
Recruiter: ...
Dev: ...
God recruiters are like robots, don't they understand senior-level engineers are language agnostic?6 -
I'm not new here but never posted anything... I figured I'd pop that cherry! Hi everyone I enjoy reading all of your rants so much <3 love to the dev community !6
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It's my 2nd week into my new job. I asked people what they think they are doing.
The summary:
Senior dev: we fix bugs
Junior dev: we write code
Intern: we create the future
It depends how you look at it. They are all called software engineer or developer.9 -
story of my life
*2 months ago manager forces me (frontend dev to work on backend) and he agrees to do that only until new year*
*new year arrives frontend dev wants to go back to frontend*
*manager surprised pikachu face*1 -
How to check devrant in the office.
Open devrant
Read rants
Smile to yourself
Refresh devrant
**no new rant
keep phone away for few seconds
Open dev rant again -
New dev: I need help with this issue. I've been debugging it all day.
*2 hours later*
Me: spent a while debugging it, eventually came across a stack overflow post that says you can't do that.
New dev: oh I saw that earlier, didn't think it applied.
Me: ... why ... accepted answer "It is not possible to do this, this way".
New dev: hhhmm, ok
... get the fuck out of this building immediately.3 -
Even though I haven't had such an experience yet, I can assume that this is what every dev sees when he lets the client play with a new feature
-
To new web devs from a new web dev:
Try to design your site before you write a single line of code. Be it Photoshop, Paint, a piece of paper, a literal goddamn canvas, you name it. You may thank yourself for it later.
10 -
Using FireFox Dev edition:
Me: Cool a new update, lets hit update and restart button.
*two seconds later*
Me: FUUUUUUUCK, I was using incognito and now all my tabs are gone -.-8 -
Dev deploys new CSS.
Client: I can't see the changes PANIC.
Dev: clear your cache!
Client: oh that's better. Now can we do that for all user?
Dev:😱4 -
Quited my job because I want to code and not project managing (instead of coding). Found a new job as front-end developer with opportunity to become a full stack dev.
-
Me: IE7 sucks and should no more be supported in 2018.
Dev: NO IE7 IS THE BEST BROWSER EVER IN THE UNIVERSE FUCK YOU!!
Same Dev in another Rant: Fuck I hate IE and Microsoft!!!
One question guys: what's up with always trying to find a way to be anti, no matter what? Even if what you defend totally opposes your view. Is this something like a new trend or is this like the new cool now?7 -
Top advice to give to a new dev? Go back in time and download devRant, then buy a rubber ducky. Yes, I finally got mine 👍🏻
3 -
I think my server got hacked, yesterday I made a new server on scaleway for the sake of testing I made a user called dev, with password dev. Forgot to change password before I went to bed.
Logged in today to find that load is 5x.x and this (image) in my crontab
Note to self: You are a disgrace, who the hell uses 'dev' as password for ssh on port 22 -_-
21 -
Me:
*spins up Vscode*
*spins up postman*
*opens terminal, spins up docker*
*spins up frontend dev server*
*spins up backend dev server*
*opens new chrome window with not less than 20 tabs*
My 4year old 8gb RAM Core-i3 PC (barely fighting for her life):
13 -
Rant!!
Fuuuuuuuuuuccccccckk this new dev hired is such a dick he keeps on not testing his own code for simple things and expects everyone else to test it on local and tell him his bugs.6 -
New dev prefers mariadb over postgresql, which is okay.
But his main reason is 'the smaller docker image'
What an argument, wtf2 -
RETARD MASTER: So how did you feel about this sprint DEV?
*nothing is planned, new tickets added each day and old ones removed - inconsistent sprint*
DEV: Well, it’s a bit chaotic, but it’s understandable. I’m used to it. Nothing’s to blame here. Client can’t produce their end of the bargain on time.
*3 week later*
DEV MANAGER: So RETARD MASTER gave a feedback. He told me you insulted him.
DEV: Can I please die now? Not funny.12 -
We hired a new senior dev. The lead architect is going over basic bit branching and commits with him. This new job already feels like a dumpster covered in petrol.3
-
Me: Can I ask you something today? Are you available?
Senior dev: If you help me move to my new desk, then yes.
In the end he didn't even help me.... U.U3 -
Best xp : dev on new tech
Worst xp : being pressured to deliver something out of that new tech over a very short period1 -
Senior dev. "we need a reason why we haven't fully implemented social service signup yet"
Junior dev. "let's say it's new for us"
Senior. "great idea. Let's get this done."
..,
Now try to signup to pixabay using your Google account.... 😒
1 -
Introducing No.js! A revolutionary new framework. Just build your templates and then... Stop. No worrying about browser compatibility. Web dev has never been so simple.4
-
Well thanks to all the help from you ranters and some of my close friends, I decided to take the Web developer job. I start in two weeks as a Web Developer!
P.S. PHP is not as bad as I thought it would be. It actually allows me to do as much if not more than C# in ASP.NET land.4 -
Enjoying my new dev environment already.
This is a real install alongside my existing windows install. Surprisingly enough, windows has in no way complained about Arch!
12 -
Dear JavaScript devs,
Can you please stop with using new Framework(); everywhere?
Sincerely,
A PHP dev11 -
!dev
The more I interact with people on Reddit, the more I realise that the world needs a new plague.2 -
The senior dev in my team wants me to convert all the lambda expressions I have written to anonymous inner classes. He says it will increase the code readability.
IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU CAN'T READ LAMDA EXPRESSIONS!!!!
It's like the dev has something against the new features of Java87 -
!rant
My laptop is 8 years old this year. She’s still going strong but her Core 2 Duo is starting to show. I need a new dev laptop so I can put all my cool dev stickers on. Sponsorships? 😬23 -
#define RANT 0
My paid training to become a dev starts today. Or rather in half an hour. God damn it I'm nervous. Even though I'm already kinda experienced. I'll be that company's first trainee.
It will be mostly C#.
I enjoyed my 2 month long holidays that lasted until now, though.3 -
New job starts june 19!
Then Iceland the week after that 😍
One week to dev around and upgrade my website abit 😁3 -
I am back to dev rant after longgggggg time....😍
I got a new job and today is my first day...
Hope everything goes well🤞6 -
Dev: The server is completely down right now. Nobody can access the application, we need to divert some resources to horizontally scaling our app.
Manager: Hm, this was not in the schedule. I need to consult senior leadership on what to do about this. I don’t want to be held accountable for making a decision on this complex and highly nuanced situation.
Dev: No need, I have a solution. Just need a week to build/test/deploy the ability to horizontally scale.
Manager: But that will cause delays to new features.
Dev: New features don’t matter if the app can’t even load.
Manager: Ok you can implement your solution but it can’t take any time. I need those new features out.
Dev: ???????5 -
>be web designer at last company
>be put into marketing Dept
>do everything from design to dev, working closely with engineers in IT Dept
>whyamihere.png
>leave to join new tech startup
>get job title "Web Developer"
>startup forms a new marketing Dept
>be put into it
3 -
!dev but since dev can still give you headaches:
Ibuprofen is damn close to magical. I fully understand the chemical mechanism by which it works, and it still don’t make sense how that shit can make you a new person in 45 minutes.2 -
tfw...
• the new "sr dev" asks what the point of TDD is
• being polite, I answer in an ELI5 format
• rest of the room nods head in agreement
• new "sr dev" still has baffled look on face -
New dev at our company. After two weeks he has finished a feature for a project. Want to merge it into the dev branch ... he worked in the master branch.2
-
So after months of self study my company finally appoints me as a junior developer with a major client as the intermediate dev on the project resigned. My tech lead assures me that junior devs only fix bugs and do other minor changes. One week in and in our first sprint planning session the client decides to priorities a Major update to the app. Now I have 2 weeks to deliver what will either make or break my immediate career. And I have no idea how to implement any of the changes. Stack overflow you're my only hope (and many hrs of YouTube tutorials)3
-
Started a new gig doing APIs and deployment pipelines. After a few weeks a new boss came on the scene and decided I'm now a web dev, and the API and pipelines are going to be scrapped, and replaced by something with less availability and scalability.
Anyone looking for a good back-end dev?
😵💫 -
Dev trend I think will pass?
Creating new frameworks on this dumpster fire of a language we call JavaScript.10 -
> be new in a big-ish company
> be working next to a senior dev, who's been working on The Project for 5 months now (15 yrs in company)
> be asked for halp
> senior dev didn't know how to use git push
GIT PUSH
> be Joe's terminally flaccid dick2 -
Got a new iPhone X. Had to set up as a new phone because my old one had beta software on it and wouldn’t let me restore from backup (yes, I know I could download the new iOS beta on the X then reset and store from backup but I was in a hurry) but in doing so it gave me the chance to rearrange my home screen and devRant made it on the first page!
8 -
The new regime our PM took on this morning with a newly hired, and still mentally sound dev.
"We will solve bugs for an hour everyday"
FTW11 -
So a new dev had an issue, if the wrong credentials are in the code it will crash because the unauthorised error isn't being handled.
I physically added the error handler, to his code, on his machine ... 3 days later it's not there.
Asked him and he says "sorry I must have deleted it"
... that's grounds for dismissal right? ... like ... seriously2 -
One week into my new job as a junior mobile developer I receive my stickers from devrant (for posts I made while still a project manager and self-studying to get where I am now) - on the same day I did my first 12hr workday to complete work for my first sprint.
1 -
Never had the situation to give advice to a new dev. But I have an idea anyways: Give that dev a problem, which is above beginner level and watch the dev. If the dev rage quits and doesn't want to try again, then the new dev will not be happy with the job. But if the dev achieves to collect all knowledge to handle the problem, even if the solution is not the most elegant way, then the dev will have fun with the profession.2
-
Hi guys I'm new in dev
I was wondering what was best to learn first : Angular, React or Vue ?
I already know JS and JQuery.
Thanks guys :)36 -
PM : Develop this new feature. Client needs it tomorrow. And be sure it works perfectly well.
Dev : haha how can it work without bug if it's developed in a day ?
Poor dev got transferred to support department :(
4 -
Company is celebrating new awards. Whole dev team basically says fuck you we have better things todo and isn’t attending for champagne.
-
Why is choosing a name for a new dev project so difficult? It seems 99% of names I think of have already been taken! Any suggestions?18
-
At a developer conference, we were given these "dev joke" card to trade with another person, to break the ice and make a new connection.
4 -
My non-dev friends on Facebook are spamming with "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year". I didn't respond to them, I know am being rude but it's worth it.3
-
>Adds new feature
>New feature works fine on dev
>New feature works fine on staging
>New feature doesn't work on live
>You can't easily figure out what is wrong because you need to wait an hour for it each time :|5 -
Someone should pitch a new TV show centered around an internal dev shop of a large company and use devRant as source material. Years of available content.7
-
Looking at some new dev tools I spotted this gem:
"If install fails, keep trying to install a few times."
Thanks for the tip!1 -
Worst dev experience:
"Learning" vhdl
Best dev experience:
Actually learning because of a new, more competent professor2 -
A coworker changed the application deployment process. He told all three of the other developers who need deployments, but not me. We sit six feet away from each other and I've run/managed deployments for a year longer than him.
His new process doesn't work and he's blaming the dev ops team for not following it. The new process clearly doesn't fit their workflow and never could have.
The lack of deployments have caused production issues and he still won't ping dev ops to remind them about the deployment because "it's not in the new workflow".
He's been painting dev ops as incompetent at the last three retrospectives without having ever personally reminded the deployment guy.
Ugggh. -
*sits at work*
Other dev has a problem, Visual Studio keeps crashing etc.
*Senior dev comes over*
asks what she's struggling with.
she explains it to him, saying it's possibly a port problem.
senior dev goes "ah, yeah that's just gonna take a second"
*senior dev sits down and rolls a new port with two actual dice*
I fucking died.2 -
New dev domains. Grab them while they are hot. Only $ 11.5k + $ 12 a year!
(or just $ 12 starting from Feb. 28th)
https://domains.google/tld/dev/7 -
Not really dev but: Starting in a new job this August, I'm going to be honest and say I'll miss the warm days of lunching outside the university's beautiful Informatics department.
1 -
Ladies and gents,
It feels amazing to learn a new language. I feel like a French guy learning Swahili with ease. Or a game mod creator turning on God mode.2 -
Does anyone remember the #itgetsbetter gay pride campaign from a couple of years ago? Whenever I read a new dev being overly happy I want to comment #itgetsworse
-
So my girlfriend decided to get me a rubber duck for my birthday. This is Yoduck, my new dev companion. 😊
2 -
That moment when you sit to code and start learning a new thing, but the installation and prerequisites take up all of your time. *Sighs*1
-
Finally got a new role from testautomation to Embedded sw dev. I will also have to learn Rust for embedded and elixir for web facing side, which is nice!5
-
Next weeks rant theme should be worst dev day.
Any how today I fucked up at a whole new level. First ran a script thinking I am deleting my local dev environment.
*An Eternity later*
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkk
That dreaded script ran on main dev server and fucked up the server used by a team of 15+ teammates. Dead.2 -
Started a new game dev job. Fortunately, they already have a Rubber Ducky chilling at the desk. Only thing, it's less of a duck and more of an evil imperial guard with a lust for bloodshed. I hope he likes C++.
1 -
Signing the contract with a new agency as their new dev in 3 hrs. Will quit my current Job on Aug. 18. Looking forward to that day. Boss will explode...5
-
devRant should add a new feature to create polls
e.g. 1: What OS do you prefer?
- Mac
- Linux
- Windows
e.g. 2: Which programming language do you prefer for web dev, mobile dev, etc.
- Java
- PHP
...
I bet after a while a cyber war would commence. And that would be devRant's fault because it gave developers a reason to hate each other.
So devRant please disregard my request for the new feature.
Narrator: And then he laughed sardonically.4 -
!rant
Guys, I had my first REAL developer interview today. Without jinxing myself, I'd like to say it went really good. We discussed the companys upcoming projects, what they expect from a new developer, etc. but some thing that bothers me about it is there was never any discussion about my expected compensation. I'm not sure if this is common or not, but we'll see.3 -
A friend of mine and I are about to open a company and we're hiring a developer to develop websites, no specific needs, it literally just have to work.
We found this guy, who develops goodlooking websites, but isn't really a developer, meaning that he just uses visual composers. (which doesn't differ too much from what we want).
Well this guy kinda loves us because we're actual developers who know how to code "properly".
It's the first time someone likes me just bc I'm a developer and I'm already superhappy!
Hope it will get good soon enough! -
Management approve new project;
Start the project;
1 week before deadline project += 146 new features;
In dev mind: suicide || kill them all; -
Can't wait to get a dev girlfriend,
make her my {World},
then start learning new languages even the weird ones so that I can do
~Hello {Her Name}~5 -
New job. Almost all sites are blocked due to "security"... even spotify. I can' listen to the music. Fortunately i have access to dev rant xd5
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!rant
just a poll i'm looking for from all the linux based dev's
What distro would you recommend for a front end dev? Tried ubuntu but the wifi driver wasnt supported I guess in my dev machine. Currently looking at Elementary OS, but still undecided. I would primarily like it to be Debian based or something close as I'm very familiar with apt-get debain based stuff, and dont really feel like learning an entirely new distro at them moment.
Thanks all :D
PS. I have a Lenovo Ideapad 110
Specs include quad-core AMD A-8, 8gb ram, 1TB HDD, can give more if necessary13 -
A newly joined developer (who was supposed to be very senior) comes and asks me how to write a test cos for some reason the person didn't know how to mock.
In Java,
(same for any other implementation which has an interface)
Writes Arraylist list =.....
Instead of List list = Arraylist...
Deployed code (another engineer from another country helped to deploy since this new senior dev didn't have access yet.
But the new senior dev didn't update relevant files in production code which brought down the site for nearly an hour. Mistake aside, the first reaction from this new senior dev is 'WHY DIDN'T THE DEV THAT WAS HELPING DIDN'T DO THE FILE UPDATE?'
This was followed by some other complaints such as our branching stragies are wrong. When in fact the new senior dev made a mistake by just making assumptions on our git branching strategies and we already advised on correct process.
Out of all these, guess this is the best part. The senior dev never tested code locally! Just wrote code, unit test and send to QA and somehow the test passed through. I learnt this when I realised this dev... has not even set up the local environment yet.
I keep saying new but this Senior dev been around like 3 months! This person is in another team within our larger team but shares same code base. I am puzzled how do you not set up your environment for 3 months. Don't you ask for help if you are stuck? I am pretty sure the env is still not setup.
Am I over reacting or is this one disgusting developer who doesn't even qualify for an intern let alone a senior dev? It's so revolting I can't even bring myself to offer help.8 -
Hello to everyone. Im new here , but i heard a lot of great things about dev rant and i hope i will learn a lot of new things and solve a lot of problems i have with your help.5
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Product manager: When building new features, we find we have bugs that reappear in other parts of the app where the bug was solved before. We have to find a solution to this issue.
Dev: These are called regressions, they happen all the time in software development.
Product manager: ...
Dev: Fuck outta here! Its friday!3 -
Me (new position): Hey, can I run this locally?
Other dev: No, it can only run through CI.
Me (exploring): Oh, I see. CI -> Docker -> Makefile -> Ansible -> Packer -> Terraform -> new EC2 image -> new EC2 host -> command.
Well fuck. That's not going to work locally.4 -
Previous company turned from Web Dev E-Mail Marketing into a Service company with more than 50% phone support so I left.
New company, Product focused on web and mobile. 2 months in: Well yeah guys, new strategy. We'll stop feature dev on the web and go into maintenance mode.
That's just great. Thank you very much.
Now I'm too lazy to go through hiring again and just feed my inner rage.
It's hard to keep it in sometimes =__= -
bug comment in the tracker, from the new junior dev, during her first week:
"probably fixed by [other dev]".
Among the unhelpful comments, this was a special gem. really special. a What the Fuck did you mean by that special. Was it fixed or not? who fixed it? [other dev]? someone else?
it was better not to have any comment at all.
later that junior became a really good dev... -
!rant Need advice. Been wanting to switch to Mac-based dev for a while and finally found an $810 new-in-box iMac 21.5" 4K with retina / 3.1Ghz quad / 8GB / 1TB bought new from BestBuy late 2016 but manufactured sometime in 2015. Never opened. Any potential pitfalls with that and expected OS updates or dev tools?6
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I feel so fucking happy, today i was accepted as a new Dev on a new Job, I will need to move and leave some things, but man, I was really thinking that maybe i wasn't enough for this country
-
marquetting department: i need a new for on the website its urgent drop everithing else
dev: sure can you give me the text and the fields that should be on the form?
....1 week later
dev: do you havr the info
marketing: can you have ot online today
dev: yes just get me that content
1week later
.... you know where im going with this -
Udemy is having a sale. Offering lots of courses for 10$ only. Thought it'd be okay to share with fellow developers eager to learn new stuff.7
-
!(dev|rant)
The toilets at my new office are nice, comfortable, butt-cupping masterpieces with strong WiFi. I think I will just move here.2 -
I'll be starting a new job soon, and I'm sure there will be a chance to implement some form of process for the dev team to use...
To Scrum or to Kanban?2 -
Worst dev experience: Started vim, could not escape, had to get a new computer... 😐
Just kidding, everything was good 😜 -
When backend is slow to add fields of data, and product manager is after you, the frontend dev to add the new feature.
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And just when my boss thought I was done with spending too much time on StackOverflow, I discover devRant.
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New android dev joiners... Never Ever... I am saying.. never ever update the test devices in the office...!!! 😣😣
-
!dev
Reddit has reached new levels of performative wokeness. Probably going to delete my account soon. u/aeflash is a pansy.
2 -
I'm currently browsing for a new dev laptop, however I keep getting distracted by classic console adds! What classic consoles do you guys own and love?4
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Finally got my first dev job. I am looking at the code base for my company. And it’s like I know how to code in this language. But I don’t know half of the advanced shit they’re doing. I understand they have more experience than me. But I’m just not sure how to catch up to them. Or be even on the same level as them? I guess just more out of office learning?
I can read what they’re putting in the code and understand how it works. But like how they came up with it I have no clue. I guess I’ll learn over time and have to put in some extra man hours.5 -
!rant x 9999
!dev x 999999
Say what you want, but I'm sharing this.
The only thing I am waiting in 2019 is this. Not new phones, not new OSs, not new apps, not new digital currency, not new sex toy, not new God Of War, not new Game of Thrones. Just this 3rd installment of my favorite game.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
// I am not a serious gamer.3 -
Who are you going to hire in web dev position?
1. Algorithm master but new to web development.
2. Full fledged with cutting edge web dev technologies but don’t know much about algorithms12 -
!dev
I've got so much overdue winter break work that I have to skip celebrating New Year to do math and finish my biology sketches.
Argh.
Hope you guys have a better 2018. Happy New Year, I guess?1 -
I love business ya know, always soo damned smart.
Our current products code base is soo old it will literally up and stop working come December, from April we cannot launch new clients on it.
The new app should be production ready, at least the MVP with our most essential features.
A week from tomorrow a new senior dev starts so that he can build new features into the current app. -
Here's a few:
What could be improved about devRant?
Best dev insults?
Your dev machine setup (from office space, hardware, to OS stack etc)?
Dream setup of the above?
Or we could go back to previous topics and do them again, since there are new members on devRant and new stories from old members. I particularly want to do wk30 (Best prank) again -
Facebook is the new job wall. Seen someone posting asking for a business partners for a new web dev company. Funny thing is, when asking in the holes in his pitch he goes on the defens
-
just finished new series 4 of doctor who. how can it possibly get better from here?
sorry !dev but this is my only social environment and at least somewhat of a rant4 -
Is it a good idea to start learning Python? I'm a PHP dev but I really want to get out of my comfort zone and try something new. Moreover, I think as a PHP dev, I don't really have a future.4
-
!Rant - I'm looking for some advice 🤔
So this kid he's 13 interested in building cool things programming etc hasn't had any real start in it.
So I'm like ! Great! 🤔
Another programmer in this world would be lovely ... Before I used to take this approach of, you should do ... This.
Now I'm taking the approach, well what do you like what interests you 🤔 what do you find yourself needing?
Effectively trying to find an in, Into what might drive him to keep with it.
I find people get to ... Uninterested in it. Fast. I've literally had 10-20 people go 🤔 I would like to find out more I really like this etc .
But most don't stick with it I feel because I suggest they make this start and they aren't interested in.... That specifically even though it's a steeping stone
Normally I suggest html CSS right. It's a simple easy thing to learn
Then JavaScript then ... Another language like c# and move to c++ etc.
It's not what I did but I think it's... A smoother transition then my c# start then dropping to c++ then web
So opinions ? Is this the right move 🤔 he has this project in mind now. This app. Which I said could be built in html CSS really if he wanted to. Or though I suggested looking at some native stuff to, then pick.
I've left it open said he can ask anytime. I sent him codeacademy fyi
I told him to get this app to 😂 so might be on here8 -
Dev: "Oh, btw, I updated our dependency on X since a new version was available."
Almond: "Really?! They only released the last new version yesterday."
Dev: "Oh, I know, but there's a new one now."
Almond: "Ok, fair enough."
*Pulls code*
com.x.x:3.5.1.SNAPSHOT
🤦♂️ -
Sports. Without sports I would never get my head free from my dev thinking. But getting my head free is necessary to get new ideas and solve old problems.1
-
When shadowing "experienced devs" as a "new dev" remember that if you fix their problems they will tell everyone they did it. At least that is my experience.2
-
As the new year approaches, so does a new chapter in my life. This is a big one as I will be graduating college and hopefully landing my first big position.
My question to you lovely people: what do you feel qualifies someone for a front-end web dev role? As a junior front end dev? Obviously this will vary from position to position, but I'm trying to grasp what kinds of things I really need to have in check.1 -
Is this just me every dev have this problem, while learning something new sometimes I loose track and learn something else completely without any intention of learning it.
-
When your co-dev keeps forgetting to push his code to the remote repo and you're stuck during the weekends without his new changes and he is not working1
-
Worst part of being a (new) dev, and by new I mean first dev job and I'm a month in, is keeping commit messages from being novels3
-
The code I am supposed to refactor only builds if mounted on/as drive s:\.
Sure worked for the previous dev.
First thing to do: new makefile. And git init. -
>add new feature, push to seperate branch
>ask other dev to have a look at code
>other dev completely rewrites the feature and pushes directly to master
please1 -
When I was new developer and accidentally did testing of an important internal business app on what I thought was dev but was actually production... and of course has entered some crude humor as data because it was "dev".1
-
sends new dev online read about how to write good commit messages.
does not write a good commit message.
pushes code.
OTL1 -
News Feed for web dev trends/news?
I don't want these "how to do some weird shit with divi" kinda-news, I want to learn about new trends, frameworks, stacks, tech n stuff, especially new js features. Mainly webdev but other dev-stuff, too.
And if someone has a better reader than feedly for such feeds, pls let me know.3 -
So I start my new dev job Monday and I'm considering vlogging/blogging the experience. Have any of you found success doing this? Not monetarily but like actually had time to create some decent content. Any tips or advice would be appreciated.3
-
A new year, a new job.
After a years hard graft learning front end code I finally landed my first dev job!
Even though the job is a while away, there will be nothing stopping me getting there and learning all I can in this industry.
#bosh2 -
When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.
4 -
Starting a new position as a junior dev tomorrow. Any tips how to behave among the big bois in office? What to avoid and etc.?11
-
My project late for 2 weeks to deliver to our client cause of my dev,
Me: When you will finish your task?
Dev: this weekend, it’s only bla bla bla
But he never finish his task on time.
I am plan to cut $100 from his bonus to buy new chair for us, what do you think? Or any idea?
PS: My dev will see this rant8 -
!dev
Wrote a script that overwrote all of my content from reddit prior to deleting it.
Fuck you, Spez. You ruined a good thing. The SJWs can have their new home, idgaf.1 -
Fellow dev: I need a new car at the same time am planning to wed. My cash can't cater for both.
Other dev: Congratulations, you have grown up problems -
!rant
Buying a new laptop here
Is i7 worth the money or i5 more than enough? Both 6th generation
Mostly will be used for android development
(Gradle is hell 😂😂)13 -
I just found out Microsoft scrapped Desktop Experience in the new Windows Server... Welp I guess there goes my plan for a shared Windows dev setup 🙄9
-
How can we go to a new world?
No need death.
Just read a fantasy book
Or learn new programming language.
For example, if you're a php Dev, learn c#, Java or c++.
Believe me, it's a new world.2 -
hey I am new here. Hope so this platform is different from fucking social media apps where user just post shit about anything9
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If A.I. Steals the DEV job, they've already gooten complicated enough to do anything. My new job would be to be the leader of the iRobot revolt.
-
Attending meetups, reading dev related books, trying out new things, getting out of my comfort zone...
-
Just finished my Web Dev internship!! i'm so cheeeringg!, What i can say is from experience it was definitely fun meeting many new faces ,making some new friends and working with some great technologies :D6
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my lesson as a new dev was when the senior told me to RTFM....by not using Google... as in ... real books... dusty... old... valuable... and BIG mother farking ones.2
-
Finally moved into New Position in a DEV Center, feels good to get more interesting requests and challenges :)
-
There isn't many Dev bootcamps where i am from but i think they are a great idea for anyone that codes as you can get new ideas and learn new skills no matter what your ability
-
So last year I was working for this company and worked there for about 13 months. I was hired as a web dev but was soon moved on to creating web banners in html5 so that a friend who was doing that before could focus on design for prints. Well few days ago that friend called and said he was going on a vacation and was wondering if I would like to come back an fill in for him while he is on vacation.
Since the company can't find anyone willing or that did that job before and nows all the specs like I do I was their only choice for the job (yaay me). Of course I accepted the position as it wouldn't require me to be in their office from 9-5 but only on certain days when banners need to be created and for few hours only.
The downside of this is it will last for a whole month (didn't expect that) and it poses a chance to conflict with my current job. But my current boss is ok with me doing this as long as my "day job" doesn't get affected.
So now that I know I'm their only choice for the position and they don't have time to look for someone else and train them as the friend already left for vacation.
What do you guys think, how much should I charge them for this work ?
They are still waiting for my quote on the price.
I'm thinking of a fixed price for 1 month of work and somewhere around 600€ minimum.
My salary while working for that company full time was 400€ and I did web dev + banners (static and dynamic).
On a side note:
I heard from a few friends who still work there, that they might offer me full time job there again. But that is a whole new rant for another time -
Sigh, what is it with these cowboy SQL Devs? Why the fuck is this a pattern for anything?
New contract, new idiots, sigh.
EDIT: Had to change picture because Prod is different to Dev (but no dev has been done since release....smh)
4 -
My new colleague ia awesome he has 4 year of experience in dev and I'm enjoying his company as fuck.5
-
Any suggestions for Dev team names? My team has several new people and we have decided to change our name.10
-
thinking of learning a new programing language anything easy for a python "dev"?
would also like if jetbrains has an ide for it6 -
Well, the new audit tool in the chrome dev tools seems to be nice and shiny, but even google does not pass its tests completly...
3 -
Happy new year guys and gal. Been a great year and hope next year would be bring good luck and prosperity to all dev rant community here.
-
New job, strict devops role. I asked the devs they're painpoints, no mention of local dev stack.
Spin up a local dev stack and it's a garbage fire. No feature flags, env vars, docker. Have to be careful due to devs using staging databases for dev work.
This is going to be a problem...3 -
Why asking your dev team for any suggestions or solutions when you can easily say „make new website! Fast!“... now we have a new Website providing the exact same features as the so desired App... no further words for this.1
-
How do you deal with the fact that sometimes a junior dev will have a better solution than a senior dev because he knows more on the technology/language for this new project? Maybe for this technology he should be the senior one... But how do you deal with these situations?3
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So I'm about to apply to a dev job and I don't know how this is going to go over. It seems everywhere I go they want years and years of professional experience I just dont have, being a junior dev and all, but I think I found a company I can get behind. Are there any tips you guys and gals have for me for resume highlights? Possibly questions for my employer, as its one thing that always confused me, they always ask if you have questions and I feel like I'm missing something until I ask but they never seem impressed by my questions.3
-
Congratulated a Dev at my company after he had finished all the functional testing...
Until he mentioned that he just needs to tweak the test to work with the new code now.. -
Whenever you're stuck with a problem, Google it and open the first five search results in different tabs and then go through each. You learn a lot more than just the solution to your problem that way. =)
-
Any cool Dev setups? I have already seen /r/cableporn and /r/battlestation. I am moving house in March and decided to rebuild my setup, new desk more monitors etc. Want to see some Dev examples.1
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Go for a walk or run outside. Get a fellow dev to play a game on the company xbox. Stop the task and start a new task from the sprint.
-
Man.. if only switching to a new Windows PC was as easy as changing Android phones. Having to reconfigure all my Dev tools is such a pain in the ass!1
-
I talked to one of my coworkers about my next steps for completing my next project and he responds so lithargically. I don't know if he thinks I'm just an unexperienced idiot of if that's just how he is. Maybe it's just my imposter syndrome kicking in.
-
Project Manager: Our employees are not receptive to the new internal app we built
Dev: Have you tried making airplane noises when you show it to them?1 -
When talking to the integration guys, installing a new testing environment takes about 3 weeks or more.
When a new dev arrive in the team, we set his dev environment in half a day.
I don't understand such a difference.5 -
Advice to New Devs: Peer review code with co-workers and constantly learn and improve. Ask a lot of questions and during your down time learn something new. :)
-
Any tips for getting into the freelance game?
I’m a FE dev (React / TS / Next) with a11y certs and 7+ yrs of experience, but am wondering how I can get my first clients freelancing?
I’ve got drafts for contracts and all the legal protection stuff sorted to prevent me getting fucked over in most cases, but am struggling when it comes to getting myself out there and actually grabbing clients.
What tips do you guys, gals and non-binary pals have for someone wanting to break from big-corpa and to go into this new direction?2 -
My new year resolution as a dev:
1. Competing in Kaggle competitions
2. Motivate peoples in data science
3. Do some cool project
4. Waiting for devRant stickers.. -
We've got new TV for monitoring, which auto-rotating meme page you like ? Cats, dogs, dank (sfw), dev, testing. Gimme yours !!! :)1
-
I heard it Dev youtuber say that the new PHP version 8 is ready for large scale applications just like Java or C#. What do you guys think?7
-
Couple of new colleages started last year.
Working with the new Full stack dev: Your WP site is slow? Try this new shiny CMS and just start all over!
Working with the new designer:
Can you send me the assets? Can you send me the assets? Can you also send me asset A? Can you also send me asset B?
Working with the new project manager:
So is it correct that i’m planned in for five projects today?! -
Looking for some twitters to follow just made a new one. Specifically looking for influential accounts on the web dev stage1
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