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This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!
He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.
Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.
I was standing there like:
*should I tell him?*
😅😆64 -
When the new guy on the team uses click bait titles on his PRs... that’s when you realise this guys going to go far.
13 -
we got a new coworker who had no experience in coding. I was planning to leave the company (mainly because my other coworokers were jerks) but no one wanted to teach him so i started teaching the new guy. This was 4 months ago and He is the reason im still here and i enjoy my work again! :)15
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My last internship. When acquiring a new project and having to give an estimate the boss/sales guy always went to the programming team first to ask them what the estimate was and then communicated that back to the client(s).
Asked him why he does that because many companies don't:
Well, the programmers are going to write the software so why the hell would *I* be the one who gives the fucking estimates?
Yes that was a good boss.4 -
My CEO: "So! You are the new guy we hired to design and manage the implementation of our new state of the art super-duper fancy ERP solution with badass Business Intelligence systems to grow our company which already spans over several localities across the county, that has to live for at least the next 12-15 years?
Please remember that the Windows Server in the rack in the basement needs replacement soon, and that our new fancy solution must not in any way utilize cloud-technology or SaSS! I don't like that! I think it's a scam! We store everything on premises, own our infrastructure and we buy our software...Because I think that is best!"
Me: "So... let me get this straight: You want me to build you a one-off, concept sports car that can outperform a Lamborghini using only plywood, duct-tape and a donkey cart?"
He walked off... I may need a new job next week!14 -
New Guy Day 2: He has deleted the git repo on the project he was assigned to 4 times, written a recursion formula that crashed a server, & knocked my coffee cup onto the floor.
I messaged my boss telling him I am going to hide the body in his trunk.8 -
New guy: There's a memory leak in my code.
Me: You need to free the memory you previously allocated.
New guy: Already did that, deleted everything from my "Downloads" folder and some stuff from my Desktop.
Me: *Long Pause* Have you tried "rm -rf /" yet ?4 -
Fun fact: Michael Widenius named "MySQL" after his daughter My. When MySQL was acquired by sun, he decided to start a new open source database, "MariaDB", named after his second daughter Maria.
This guy is (partially) responsible for two of the largest databasesystems in the world.
Imagine his daughters apply for a database engineering job one day. During application process: "One of the largest databases in the world was named after me..." 😂19 -
Mother of god, as if the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands wasn't bad enough, one of the politicians who likes the new law has come up with an even more redicilous idea.
an 'Internet Authority. To put it short, an authority which surveils the internet in real time and sees where all social media shit is coming from/going.
Meaning that it wouldn't just be 'targeted mass surveillance' sometimes but fulltime online monitoring.
This guy has lost his fucking mind.35 -
Today let me see how much of a better HTML/CSS lecturer I had before. The new guy just does everything from W3Schools while the older one, after telling us the basics, just gave us .psd files and let us figure out what was what and we learned a lot from that.2
-
That moment when your boss is introducing the new guy and you are silently making a list of all the git repos you need to back up before he makes it to his desk.
-
New guy at work doesn't have admin rights and the company wont install anything until Monday... He is going through the code in notepad to learn our system.11
-
This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*1 -
PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.
Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.
Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.
everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE6 -
Fucking fuck fuck fucker fucking fuck
What a dumbass guy seriously. I have this colleague in my office who refuses to create a new branch because that will "ruin the single straight line". Are you seriously fucking kidding me??? The noobest guy ever doesnt know a third git command other than pulling and committing fucking nonsense. Why use git then? Just go back to creating zip files are maintain code. Fuck that guy too who hired him and now because of this fucking asshole I am not able to carry on my work.
Such so-called "developers" should be strapped to the back of a horse and the horse made to run on a gravel road for fuck's sake.. Fuck you man 🖕25 -
Bought new headphones because my current ones' input fucked up again. Already ordered a new one for free but hours of traveling today without music isn't really an option for me.
New headphones don't work on devices without usb ports! 😭.
Went back to the store because I didn't know that and thought they were just failing and got it explained there. No money back because they were working fine.
Me: "well fuck me right now, then I'll just travel without music today :'(".
Guy: *grabs something from a closet thingy* "Here you go, a pair of earphones!"
Me: "Awesome! How much?"
Guy: "Enjoy your traveling man!".
😮
Thanks a thousand times to that guy!14 -
Manager: "yeah so thanks for understanding we can't give you a payrise, by the way we need you to train the new guy we just hired who is your senior because even though he is more experienced than you as a c# dev he doesn't understand what an object is"
Me...
12 -
I've put my blood, sweat and tears into this company in the past years. Worked overtime, evenings, weekends, night shifts to get shit done and helped out in sharing knowledge only to learn a new guy who's still learning has 200 bucks higher pay check than me.
I'm not even sure how to react to this.18 -
We moved to a new office floor and got a brand new set up. My new extension monitor died just after 4 hours of use, it was showing a black screen a with couple of colourful lines running down the screen.
Got the IT guy to come and replace it. He says he must test it with a display cable even though the screen was dead without any input source. (Ok fine cbf arguing with you, just do it.)
*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*
Realising I was right, he gave the ok for another guy to replace my monitor.
Second guy comes to my desk and realised he forgot the electric screwdriver. (Sigh, how long must I wait...) After he finally finished installing the new monitor he plugged the display cable into a random display port without looking.
*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*
Since the monitor wasn't displaying anything, he jumped into asking me to restart my computer. I gave him "the wtf are you stupid face" and just said "NO". I looked over to where he plugged the cable and asked why he plugged into the "dp out" port.
I plugged the cable to the correct port and monitor was working.
Felt like I can do their job better without any experience in IT support.
PS. Don't play the "please restart your computer" card on me. I also work in technology.2 -
I'm moving to a new place soon meaning that I'll have to get a new desk/chair. (current ones suck)
I need a good one of both but I'm not rich so was looking for more cheap options.
The guy next to me is moving out soon as well appearantly and he came to me and another roommate like "hey I'm going to buy everything new, fresh start! If you guys would like to have anything, let me know!"
Me: also a desk/chair by any chance?
Guy: yup, take a look :)
*takes a look*
Me: the damn they look very good! Are you sure you want to get rid of them? I'd think they cost quite some money.
Guy: yeah, you can also have the couch table/clothing closet if you'd like! (all designer/quality stuffs)
😍7 -
This one colleague at my work.
I'm pretty new to a lot stuff and I stress out about some stuff a lot more than the other guys, mostly because I'm scared I might not be able to fix it.
But whenever that happens, I explain this guy what's going on and then, while making jokes, talking in a very calming way, he always knows to fix it in no time!
For everyone who does this, thanks for being there for the little/new guys :)1 -
That moment when the new guy tells u "slow down, idk anything bout programming" and u were just asking him to type ifconfig to find out his ip.
Seriously?5 -
So I gave this guy access to a database and phpMyAdmin and then I get this:
Him: hello??? i cant make databases i have no privilages
Me: Use tables instead of databases...
Him: I need to make databases
Me: Why?
Him: 1. my votes plugin 2. my ftop plugin 3. my forums 4. my new forums 5. my new forums (he runs a minecraft server fml)
Me: You don't need databases for all of those, you can use tables, that's a massive waste
Him: idc i would rather have databases
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!8 -
Woman: IF you could make all the people in this forum brawl, I would go with you tonight.
Man: (Type) PHP is the best language all over the world!
The whole forum goes into brawl...
Women: You got me. I shall go with you. Do whatever you want. Let's go.
Man: Hold! Not today! I must convince them all!
7 -
Gotta do this at my office, especially at the cube where the "New Guy" in the team sits!
--Evil Laughs--
4 -
University dorm admin story:
One guy had a problem with his ethernet cable. He broke RJ45 and wanted new one, so he asked on dorms group what to do. He was pointed to admin. So he grabbed a knife, cut the cable as close to wall as he could and walked with it to the admin guy. He said that he had problem with his cable and want new RJ45, so admin applied it on the both sides. Then he asked how to plug it back to the wall :D20 -
A new sales guy in a startup I used to work at was using Internet Explorer. I told him why are you using IE, it's a shitty browser and how frontend devs suffer to support it.
Before I continued, he interrupted me saying that he used to be the regional head of sales team in Microsoft and started defending IE.
I was like Oookaaayy.
......he left the company a week or two later7 -
Probably isn't a righteous rant... But there's a new guy who shakes his leg... All day... Makes my screen wobble... All day... Trying to think about about my code... But thoughts being shaken to the floor... All. Goddamn. Day.
*sigh*20 -
The new guy told me he doesn't want to make the code future proof as it's not agile.... Congrats goes to the management for successfully hiring as asshole...5
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We hired a developer and he has very minimal experience. I feel most of our conversations end up going something like this.
New Guy: I'm not sure how to do this obvious task and I'm incapable of searching Google.
Me: Give me your hand so I can hold it and walk you through the process of copying and pasting code from stack overflow.
New Guy: Ok...give you my hand...right...how do I do that?
FML8 -
This guy is supposed to be a "spring framework guru"
Yo Mr. Guru, this is not how you write a pom file especially when you are teaching someone who probably is new to programming. Just think if the new guy/girl goes on to write such xml files in the future. What are you even trying to do man.
5 -
My company decided to hire a new director at the electronics shop. There are certain hours when we have a lot of clients. So the guy had to man a cash register.
Client: I need 2 kilo resistors
The client obviously needed resistors of two kiloohms.
The director rushed out to the warehouse and came back with 2 kilograms of resistors to the gram
How can someone be so retarded! ¿4 -
Day 1:
Me: 'Hi'
Middleware guy: 'Raise a Jira. We have always been so accommodating. Contact your manager.'
*Jeez*
===
Day 2:
Me: 'Could you please start the server in dev environment? I am a new joiner. I don't have access. Here is a jira.'
Middleware guy: 'Deadlines may be for you. It is not for me. Wait until tomorrow.'
*Damn, did he get a divorce recently?*
===
Day 5: *An urgent delivery asap* 'Hi, could you please do the configuration of the new app in staging?'
Middleware guy: 'So, here is the split up...
Task 1
Task 2
Task 3
Task 4
Task 5 & 6
Your app will be configured by tomorrow first half hopefully.. Oh and you can escalate if it is too late..
'
*What a b...*
===
Day 8:
Me: *Doing late sit for pushing a task* 'Hi, we have an issue. The server is not starting. Could it be due to..'
MW guy in 'second' shift: 'Oh, we don't extend support on unusual hours'
Me: 'But this is second shift.'
MW guy: 'Yeah, but I have to go home early now...'
====
Day 10:
Team Lead: 'Any innovative solutions?'
Me: 'Let's go SERVERLESS!' :D13 -
Hi I am new here!
My friend told me that devRant has a great community, he told me to post here and see what happens...14 -
I started at a new company. I met tons of people the first day. Third day on the job a guy comes up to me and says hello. I’m like, “Hey. What’s up. Thanks for welcoming me look forward to working with you and etc. I’m still learning names. Se ya round. I should get back to work.” Totally like I would greet the janitor or anyone else.
He leaves and people tell me that he was the CEO. I kill myself laughing.6 -
I developed a simple scholarship management system for my school using Laravel, MySQL, jQuery and Bootstrap, I did it for free since college students from my country have to pay social service to get their degrees. Everyone in the scholarships department seemed to be really happy with my work and they evaluated my social service with 10/10, but yesterday they asked for one last favor: to go talk to the new social service guy who'll be supposed to maintain my project, a mid 30's dude who was really pissed off from the beginning because he wasn't even able to deploy the project, he wasn't even able to clone the project from Github. Ok, so I tried to explain to him the tools I used and how the project was structured, but everything I said seemed to piss him even more, so I stopped and had a chat like:
Me: "Look man, do you know or at least have basic concepts of PHP and MVC frameworks?"
Guy: "Yes, but I'm a project manager, not just –despectively– any programmer, and you didn't write proper documentation, it's impossible to deploy your project with the manual you wrote, I cannot work like this".
*We go to their computer and I clone and setup the project in 3 minutes.
Guy: "Yes, but I still don't know how the project works, I need everything documented. If I have to change something, I don't know where to look.
Me: "Man, that's why asked you about knowing PHP MVC frameworks".
Guy: "I cannot work like this, nothing is documented, I don't even know what's that software you're using *points at Sublime Text*. Or tell me, can you arrive at a place where they expect you to work with something you don't know and they have no documentation?"
*At this point he was really pissed
Me: "Well... Dealing with non-documented software is what I do for a living"
Guy: "I don't know what companies you've worked for, probably not big ones..."
Me: "Well, I actually work for *I mention one of the biggest music apps in the country*"
*Guy ironically laughs
When I gave my feedback to the lady in charge of the department, I told her that this guy was really pissed off at how things were done and that I wasn't so sure of him being capable of maintaining the system. She told me not to worry, that the guy became a well known asshole in the office only after a few days, and that she'll probably have to find something else for him to do. It'd be hilarious if this guy ends up capturing scholarships in the system I made.4 -
Today I met a random guy who contacted me through Facebook to teach him some C++.
He wanted to create a small anomalies detection system on x-ray images with OpenCV (for industry purposes).
The guy came from Nigeria, where he studied medicine, but here has to work on two completely unrelated minijobs to survive.
And he still finds energy to keep learning new crazy stuff like C++ (he definitely chose the hard path to learn some programming).
And that's it, there's no moral for this fable, just a short story. Learn whatever you want from it.3 -
The "new guy" just merged master into a release branch.
The build server started bumping versions on the release branch and build "corrupted" installers.
Another developer had to spend a whole day trying to remove all the invalid commits.14 -
Some how somebody managed to fill our repo with the following branches:
Origin/master
Origin/origin/master
Origin/origin/origin/master
Origin/origin/origin/origin/master10 -
Man, this guy is fking useless.
I'm learning something new and ask him for help; he both mishears and confuses topics, so his explanations only ever make things worse. 😧6 -
It has now officially been 3 days and I haven't fully configured softwares on my new "windows" laptop( errors that takes google's 3rd page to solve😊) ... Because... "This guy fucks"
7 -
My boss looks unbelievably similar to a character from the Simpsons.
We have a new guy start, he wants to show his wife how uncanny the resemblance is. So he sends her a picture of him... Except he sent it to our boss by accident, this was his first day on the Job.8 -
I’m so happy right now, I love doing this. Now just gotta wait for the 10Gbit switch so I can start working on the 150TB storage server solution
21 -
Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!
I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.
19 -
First time my laptop acted as a CV.
I've been in a personal project with my pal for like a three months. We meet sometimes at a cafe which is a very nice workplace, we often see more people with laptops, so we are not the only ones that thinks so.
My pal was waiting for me, he got a table early and then I arrived. there was a guy nearby us.
Me: (this guy has a newest new macbook pro, fucking riche)
-- I sit, put my laptop and start to work with my pal --
The guy starts looking at my stickers without hiding his doing at all. I noticed that instantly
Me: (Crap, he's gonna ask something :( )
-- I kept discussing stuff with my pal for like 5 minutes and then it happened. the guy stands up and... --
Guy: hey! how are you? sorry for bother, are you perhaps developers? I'm asking because I saw your stickers
Me: mmm yes
Guy: Do you have a job currently?
Me: We are in a project (No need to mention this is personal project and I got my full time job)
Guy: Oh, ok, no problem, you see I got a company, and currently we are looking for people to work with us, we want frontend developers with javascript skills preferable, but anything is welcome. Interviews starts next week, so if you are interested or know someone that could be, I'll give you my card and please write me at my mail if anything.
Me: got it, no problem.
-- I tried my best to hide my displeasure face(but I think I showed it a little), for him to being a riche with a new macbook pro, and you know, the interruption, I wanted to be focused while working in da project --
-- I got the card, I read it a bit, didn't dig into too much, there was stuff to do at the moment. the guy already returned to his chair and my friend --
Pal: Excuse me Mr Guy, what's the job tittle?
Me: (FUCK! dude!, we're working in our shit, don't give him more reason to try to scout us. we are behind the schedule and I need to explain this shit to you FFS)
Guy: Oh yes, will be frontend developer(again), but if you are a full stack that will be a plus too, we got some stuff with angular 1.x(ugh), and sencha touch(ugh) and ...(don't remember what else was it)
Pal: Ok and the job is full time in site? or are you open to work remotely
Me: (ok man, you sound interested, that makes me look interested too >:( )
Guy: preferable in site, but we would consider remotely depending on the person.
Pal: Good! thank you very much Mr. X
Guy: cool
-- Later on, like two hours, my friend goes to the counter for more coffee --
-- I text him: dude, I feel the guy will kidnap me or something --
-- then the guy start looking again at my laptop and... ---
Guy: hey! Jhon was your name right? Do you have experience with devops? I see your aws stickers
Me: yes
Guy: do you have experience with microservices?
Me: yes, a bit with lambda, also I've done some stuff with kubernetes, opsworks, rds and whatnot. no biggie
Guy: oh cool! we have a devops job too, there is a migration we need to do for an app to micro services. again if you are interested or know someone that it does. please mail me :)
Me: gotcha
There were no further interactions with Mr. Guy the rest of the day.
I'll be thrilled if someone ask me about my bee and puppycat sticker
12 -
That moment when you listen to your boss' lies to a client when presenting a new product/feature.
I am like: damn, this guy is a talented actor!3 -
I can't figure out what's worst in the new system we got handed over from a client:
1. that they have an every-minute-cron-job with "sudo chmod -R /var 777"
2. that the backup of their database haven't worked since 2014 because the S3 bucket is full
3. It's written in PHP, by one guy, who didn't knew PHP when he started work on it. (All MYSQL calls are String-concats, etc)3 -
Screw the German Telekom!
I recently got a new home without internet so naturally, I went to an isp, Telekom. I went there a few weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised by the personal and the general competence. He told me they would send a technician to check my cable. So I thought great and went home. 1 A week passes, nobody shows up. I then went back to the shop and asked(someone different). He basically told me that such a service must be specifically asked for and a contract has to be signed. I then told
him his colleague told me no such thing, and that the technician should have checked up on my connection last week. He excuses him self and I signed the thingy.
Now you would imagine that this would have worked.
but.
NOOOoooo.
A week came and went and I got pissed. So I went back to the shop the guy from the first try was there. I Asked what happened, he types in his Computer. and. and. and. nothing. Apparently, the previous guy forgot, fucking forgot, to enter my request to their bloody System.
Now I asked if I can Just become a customer.
Guy: Sure, what speed is available in your region?
Me: I don't know...
Guy: Let me check
/Type/ /Type/
Guy: I can't see your speed the technician should have checked.
Me: Um, so, can he check?
Guy: Clearly you don't know what you want
Me:???
Guy:*leaves table*
(shorten but you get the Idea)
At this point, I really wanted to change isp so I went to Vodafone.
Lady comes up to me asks me a bunch of stuff and I explain I would want to change my phone, internet, tv, mobile and my friends mobile(I lost a bet once ^~^) to Vodafone.
What happened next I can't really explain, but she talked to her boss and "cheated" (how she calls it) on Vodafone and got me an AMAZING deal it is cheaper than Telekoms has waay more mobile data, faster Internet and I got a new phone :D.
And guess what she could fucking check, fucking check from here Computer my max internet speed.
I can only hope that the lady got a big fat commission for what she has done.6 -
So today I saw this guy:
long size = long.MaxValue;
//method that may or may not set
//size
int[] array = new int[size];
Apparently we are processing blu-ray movies in place in memory.7 -
Today i find new friends at school they are older but hell yeah they are programmers sysadmins and other geeks hell yeah im only guy in first class from that geek group woow.
Finally geek friends and yeah friends from devRant
And yeah its on high school few months in there and found teacher with those cool guys teacher is cool too ;)5 -
The guy who was apparently teaching me. "Do you Google? Use Google, it's the best way to learn new tricks"
Opens browser, types google.com in the browser (firefox) searchbar and then opens Google homepage and then searches for content.18 -
So I was preparing for my project assessment at school when some business guy walks up to me asking if we were students here and if we were interested in doing "internet things" for his new business..3
-
"Hey guys, i don't have any clients on the website"
"Yup the new guy drop the database"
Goodbye Holydays ...15 -
Hello everyone, this is my rant.
I work in a start-up as an Android developer and we were looking for our first iOS developer.
After two months searching, some guy was finally hired last week.
My boss already told me he didn't have my programming level, but we needed him because he had experience as community manager and good Photoshop skills, and right now we need a profile like that in our company.
Today the new guy asked me what are setters and getters.
How fucked is my company? Is there hope for us?9 -
New guy (good friend) is on the line with me shadowing. OMFG THESE PEOPLE HAVE HEAVY ACCENTS. Only reason I can hear them is my babysitter has a heavy Vietnamese accent as well, so I'm used to it, but HOLY CRUD this is painful. I feel bad for my newest teammate28
-
This guy who earns 20% more than me wrote a method to check which string of 2 is lexicographically smaller.
public boolean isSmaller(String s1, String s2) {
String [] temp = new String[2];
temp[0] = s1;
temp[1] = s2;
Collections.sort(temp);
if (temp[0].equalsIgnoreCase(s1)) {
return true;
}
else {
return false;
}
}5 -
I worked at a company that was recently acquired by another one based in Poland. On my last day at work, the CEO flew out from Kraków to meet all of us personally and treated us to dinner. Soon after, we were all inducted into their hiring process, and now I'm currently waiting for my first project at the new company 😊 brilliant guy, can't wait to know him and the team better!3
-
My company just got a new developer to work on a legacy PHP app.
My boss was boasting about how this guy has more years of professional experience than me ( I have 9 months of experience and he has been working for 4 years on PHP).
Today was one week since he started and I had him set up a REST API, I had to explain to him what json_encode does and how http requests work.6 -
So our university website was recently refurbished with new design. But fucking hell it's bad. Not only the whole website is full of bugs, the design choices are extremely poor.
Sometimes, when I open a course page, it opens a modal with undefined as it's title. And I have to click close button ten times to close the modal.
I can't even blame university. The guy was a former student and Uni probably trusted him. What a retard!5 -
So...new intern , table paired to mine , get my hopes up that it's hopefully not another stuck up uni kiddo , hopes get ruined . He asked me my name and what I do , when I told him I do product security his reaction was 'oh so you're not a dev ?' . Go.eat.shit.and.choke.with.those.alienware.headphones. he didn't even listen to what I had to say about that , just put on his headphones and ignored me . Prick.11
-
I hate one guy in our office!!! 😡🤬
He is a very toxic person, but that was ok (more or less) till today.
Today I have had a videocall with a new team, PM and client, because I have ended the previous project and has been moved to a new one.
And this asshole has taken a purple pony(!!!) and touched my face with it few times while I speak with other persons via webcam!
I just lack of words to describe all my emotions about this situation 🤐
And he thinks it was funny!
9 -
I remember that time when my girlfriend came to me all excited about this interview she had for a new "awesome" job with React Native.
Couple minutes later she's like:
- "Wtf this guy wants an eBay for prostitution services!"6 -
He was a nice guy, skilled, reasonable, a lot of knowledge.
Until he said "I'm going to assign a girl to your project, BUT don't worry, she is very good"
I was about to jump, but handshakes and further jokes went on and I wasn't able to speak up.
Plus he is the CEO assigned by the investors to be our new software provider.
Puking.22 -
*Keyboard breaks*
*Calls Desktop Support*
Me: Hey, my keyboard is broken. I want to replace it.
*Support guy sends new keyboard*
*Calls support again*
Me: Hey, the shift key on the left side of the new keyboard is broken.
I don't know who came up with this keyboard design, but that person really wanted to see developers who write in camel case suffer while their muscle memory adapts.
23 -
Sunday afternoon extra work..
New guy: what do you do?
Me: backend, mainly
New guy: c#?
Me: yeah, but not just..
New guy: so you're good at it?
Me: I'm a fucking proctologist
Awkward silence, followed by nerdy giggling -
I started a new project with a backend guy and another frontend like me.
This other FE is 35 years old.
He told me he works as Technical leader before.
This was his first PR ...
8 -
This is quite interesting and one hell of a find by this guy... Google (and other browser vendors) should reward him:
https://jameshfisher.com/2019/04/...4 -
Our UX guy today presented a prototype of a new UI where users can declare an order.
Under the categorie "measuring unit" used to give the specification of mass or volume. He gave the following options
- kg
- litres
- m^3
- m^2
- others (which would allow the user to input anything)
Wtf why do you give the user the option to input anything. So we had to explain to him what SI units are...17 -
Not learning data structures and algorithms. Not learning programming languages. Actually not learning anything to answer during a job interview.
I am more of a learn-while-you-do kind of guy. I never learn anything, instead just do it. Interviewers think I am useless because I know nothing. But I can get a job done, any kind of job done. I have no learning period, I can start working from first day in a all new language, in a all new IDE, in a all new OS.
I know nothing, and I learn nothing. I am a problem solver. You got a problem, I can solve it.6 -
In the next 40 years devRant will be non-existential because developers wont be there anymore, you know why?
AI takes over the world.. writes its own code and build new products.
Suck it.
Signing off
- Elon Musk
(personally, I love this guy)22 -
A new producer started to pick up where the previous guy had rage quit. He looked at our sprint plan and announced it.
"According to this schedule, by these estimates, to hit our goal we have to somehow all work 27 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next month."2 -
New country, new company, new team, new projects.
I'm supposed to be the TL of a team working on a React project.
A guy in his late 40s celebrates himself as "the senior", he basically just finished watching a youtube thing, React 101 crash course or similar. The other two juniors who did only Wordpress so far venerate him like a god.
The code, of course, is one on the finest pieces of crap I ever had the pleasure to deal with in my life: naturally a bunch of JQuery plugins for everything, no tests, no state management, side effects everywhere, shared state and globals like hell, everything written in ES3/ES5 style, no types, no docs, build and deploy totally manual, deep props drilling at every level... and not to mention the console.log() shipped in prod.
First day, already headache.
Full rewrite start tomorrow.
Hiring real devs as well.4 -
When you’re way more experienced and new to a team and are met with “but this is how we’ve done it for ages, and it’s done fine for us” but the sprint performance shows they’ve not completed one in 2 years.
5 -
I have invited a new person to devrant! He is in the programming sub-team on my school's robotics team.
He uses Linux mint.. and I hate him for it. But aside from that, he seems like a cool guy.
As always, feel free to downvote the crap out of him if he starts messing around here.
Anyways, everyone welcome @hyperlisk !24 -
PM: "so I need you to deploy this new application to some new server. The deadline is in 2 days"
Me: "yeah I can do that, is the application ready and has been tested? Have the servers been set up properly by the IT guy?"
PM: "yep, all is set up and good"
Couple of hours later I try locating the server, only to find it didn't exist.
Me: "the server you mentioned earlier, is doesn't appear to exist?"
PM: "it definitely does, IT guy said he set it all up"
I dig around a little more, but this server definitely doesn't exist. The IT guy was on holiday for a week, so we had to wait for him to get back; delaying the release. On the morning the IT guy got back,
PM: " I though you said you set up that server for the application, we've had to delay it now!"
IT: "I just set it up this morning. Like I said in the email to you before I Ieft, I will have to do it first thing when I get back after holiday"
Turns out the PM had asked the IT guy to spin up the server, but never bothered to read his response. Assuming it was done he told the client he'd have it deployed in a couple of days.
The application was deployed successfully later that day, but not before the PM blamed us two for its delay.1 -
Never worked before so I'll talk about one of the former staff at my school.
This guy worked as IT and did some teaching in the high school. Early last year, he suddenly disappears for no reason.
Now, I'm going to go in order of what we (the students) found out, not, chronological order.
Firstly, turns out that in class he would make comments about female students. Nothing explicit, just kinda strange. I forget the examples I heard but think like the overly friendly old guy. Those types of comments from a 40-something IT guy. (Some female students knew about this for a long while but I only heard about it after the investigation)
Next, rumor got out that they found some stuff on his computer. I don't know how, but it turned out to be accurate, and we were accurate at the follow-up assumption that it was porn.
After that, the school made an announcement that we had been arrested. Up until then, we just assumed he had been sacked. He was weird sure, but we didn't think criminal.
Some other students looked into the police records, and it turns out this guy had been arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography.
Pretty sick right? Its worth pointing out now that our school has Pre-K through 12th grade students.
I gained a new level of respect for my female classmates after that. I didn't even know that was going on, really wish I could have helped out.2 -
I was drunk at a party and so was this guy, that I knew from scouting and who knew that I was capable of programming, even tho he very clearly disagreed with my choice in language.
We started talking about this new system that we (all scouts in Denmark) have to use and he told me how his work was affected by the fact that this systems API is the purest of shit.
He told me that he would really like someone to help him with his work, cause right now he was alone. They were looking for someone new, but for some reason the boss wanted a new guy to have 5 years of experience in Java... Which they don't use.
So he got my information and would put in a good word for me -
So there is this really cute guy in my class and he recently started to learn coding. Since I am 'the computer guy' in school, of course he got to me and asked for help. I introduced him to C# and for the next two weeks helped him learn and understand the language. It was so neat and he was so cute, doing all the mistakes I did too (1+1=11, that kind of stuff)
Now he informed me today that he switched to Java. Of all the languages, Java!! Guess I'll need to search for a new Padawan, fml6 -
Really loving the instant legacy code being added to our new project by devs who think they are too good to follow our peer review process, yum... today I found out that there are two different implementations of an API endpoint that does the same thing running in prod, in two different places, because the guy who wrote the second one wasn't aware that the first one existed and didn't let a second developer look at it before he pushed it to master.7
-
New guy started today. Nobody knew this. CPO forgot. There was no computer available. He was sent home after an hour of waiting in reception.12
-
Today our school arranged a presentation about privacy on the internet. The guy who did the presentation featured DuckDuckGo, which I already use. He said Google collects data, which can be unsafe and DuckDuckGo doesn't. No new information really, but here it comes.
While discussing a different topic, someone asked a question, and the guy answered it. Then he said: "If you want more information on this, you should Google it."
Like dude, how serious do you take this subject? He even said he has a Facebook account and that he rarely changes his passwords himself.8 -
That feeling when you're on Facebook or Social Media and you see companies promoting their new website thanking and congratulating the guy who designed and developed their website and you see it was made with with wix, or a free WordPress template.
HOLD MY REDBULL, YOU AINT NO FUCKING DESIGNER OR DEVELOPER —YOU DRAGGED AND DROPPED, LIKE YOU WERE AS A BABY. (😂) -
Just started work at this new company as a backend developer and immediately got into a heated argument with one of the front end guys.
Poor guy has been a front end developer for 5 years and doesn't know how to submit a form input as an array.
FML10 -
So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".
Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.
Can comeone please fire this guy?1 -
My manager: Hey don't be afraid to ask the team for help if you feel blocked on a task.
Also my manager when I ask for help: I think you need to understand the task better before you ask for help.
WTF! Make up your mind. Do you want me to make progress or not? Freaking sucks being the new guy. 😑3 -
So, just started my new job (stoked btw). At the last interview - boss: what kind of OS do you work on?
Me: I'm a simple guy who uses windows and notepad++
First day at work - get a brand spankin' new macbook and endure the most unproductive day ever...19 -
Hey new guy here!
@dfox and @trogus first thank you for this platform that helped gather this community. Second any news about new podcast episodes? I was really enjoying it!3 -
well, i guess ill make some new years resolutions…
- finish dogecrypt. ive barely done squat and i dont even remember the name of the guy i was working with
- finish https://translationiteration.com (ITS UGLY!!!) if anyone wants to collab on some css, im open
- make an android game that’s FUN. something that’s addictive too.
- make something PROFITABLE. i want money.8 -
class Life extends Death{
public static void main(String...args){
Guy me = new Guy();
me.born();
GirlFriend gf = new GirlFriend();
me.setGirlFriend(gf);
me.getMarried();
me.haveSon();
me.die();
}
}
------- Exception on line 5: NullPointerException, girlfriend cannot be null ---
Daaamnn6 -
3 LinkedIn messages from same guy in French. It's bad enough when recruiters don't read your profile and send completely irrelevant jobs, but to send it in a language that you never gave any indication of understanding is a whole new level4
-
So I am assigned to a new team to take over the leading position because the guy who did it up till now quit. And there is this guy who today seriously shared his screen with my boss and the rest of the team to point out that I formatted something wrong...
Realy it was something like
super.doFunctionA().thenFunctionB() instead of putting it like
super
.functionA()
.functionB()
He said he wanted to call me out early to avoid spreading of this "wrong formatting"
He wants to start a war? This fuckhead can have it!
Soon I will be the one who writes his tasks... hf8 -
It's a job description for an entry level Software Developer role at Apple.
Basically they want
- A Front end dev
- A back end dev
- An iOS expert
- A Gimp/photoshop designer
- A streaming data expert
- An Oracle/Teradata expert
- A Kafka expert ( Not shown in the picture)
And on top of that the guy should be able to learn new tech faster.
Do they want a developer or a fucking terminator?
5 -
Felt sorry for this old guy, so I have decieded to actualize him. Fresh paint inside and outside plus the new board arrived as well. :)
10 -
You know what kind of devs I hate?
- The "Oh I never worked with it so its shit"
- The "I dont wanna learn something new"
- The "You can use JavaScript for this and everything else"
- The Pro ++ Ultra Dev who never heard of modulization and layering
- The hard coded values guy12 -
This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...1 -
The guy Intel hired to come up with instruction mnemonics must be just letting his cat walk over the keyboard every time he needs a new idea.
cvttps2dq? sounds good! -
So my company set up environment for docker and bablabla manually . WHAT? and a new employee took 2 weeks to configure everything.
So I decided to do some automation, a script to auto cnfigure, download , blablabla, all the new guy have to do is run the script (regardless of OS) and that save two weeks time. Everything configured just took 4 hours (the project is 3 GB) automatically.
omg1 -
New project arrises says teacher, my mate and I go to the meeting and it seems alright, guy says he'll pay us $1000 each.
A couple weeks later, "Sorry boys cant get that much money need to pay you $500 each".
Now we have basically finished the whole thing he sends an email and it says, "We got a great fund of $333 for both of you."
Lesson learnt never work in a community project if your looking for money.7 -
I got a project to "refactor" some shitty site. It was written in nativ php. The guy who wrote this is a moron.
The site is so unsecure that my dog could broke into it while barking at cats.
It's sooo unreadable and illogical.
Every time i look at the code i get sadder and sadder. And now i understand why so many people hate php..
**Jump in time**
After i planned the new logic. My boss told me i can't do any of this. Because they only need a new user lever..
Now i just stare at this pile of horse sh*t and rant about it.4 -
Started a new job a month ago. I’m the only real frontend developer here. I come from a company with 10+. Now i’m working with a old ux guy. Mr. UX teached me the usage of a styleguide. This styleguide is a fucking mess. The legacy code is a fucking mess. They way of working, up for improvement.
I have a dream...4 -
I tried to contact 3 developers of restify (famous node js package) to tell them about my library anumargak (node js based router). I received the response from one guy finally who talked to other developers when I explained the advantages of switching to this new router.
They all were happy to switch and asked me to do necessary changes and raise a PR. I did it and then they stopped responding. -
OK I can understand he his not a technical guy but what kind of answer did he expect from me on "what could go wrong while you create the new server on AWS?", I had no idea what to say so I whent with "a meteorite could fall on the amazon building"2
-
We need a new Website for our school TV club. Ok..
I start to make a idea of site and give it to the guy, who said that we need a new site.
He liked the idea.
I started to make site.
*Few hours later*
The site is "ready" (Not fancy af but operates)
I go to the guy who want the site.
He said: "Why do you make the site? I setuped Wordpress for our site."
Fuck you.1 -
Guess who implemented a whole new feature in 3.5 lines of code and a simple CSS class.
This awesome guy.
Take that, frameworks.6 -
They hired a new person to come and help put with the project. This guy graduated a freaking year ago. Common guys wtf?!
Saying he is a full stack developer but unable to get a database running :’)4 -
I was contracted for an app (side gig) and told I would have a team working with me. It’s been 5 months and no one else has been hired... At this point, it would probably take 5 more months to explain my shitty code to a new guy.
-
I'm new guy in programming. Sometimes I do compare java with python and I have weird conclusion.
Python code is shorter but for me much more "logical" & easier to read is Java. Maybe it due to fact that I don't understand what is going on under hood so shorter code feels incomplete?14 -
Was showing the new guy how to write a fairly simple database query with a couple of joins.
Spent 3 hours trying to figure out why it didn't work.
Finally discovered that I had randomly chosen one of the 3 records (out of a possible 15,000+) that had leading white space.
Ctrl-Z back to the first query I wrote (3 hours ago), and it works perfectly.
New guy learns a more valuable lesson than I originally intended. -
Used to be the intern in the company I work at...
Finally became a Jr software dev, I get to select the next intern...
That was 3 months ago, he has started and I get to bug fix all his stuff...
He's a nice guy tho -
#usr/bin/rant
I'm working on this super fun project in which we can combine the newest technologies, and some not so new but fun to use, we are doing it with docker, ASP.Net core, Angular2, and suddenly the system maintenance guy from the client sends us an email like:
- Just wondering which content management system are you going to use currently we are using WordPress, Orange and Django which ease a lot adding new features and sections
So the PM and me are frustrated and scared that we are going to be forced to use something awful just to please this guy.5 -
Client: "documentation, oh you mean those grey texts the previous code guy wrote on the code files"
Me: I kinda need more than "grey texts on the code files" if you want me to actually fix the system and implement the new specs.
Client: oh you mean the Microsoft asp books
Me: It's a Laravel system sir, it's php not asp.net
Client: what are those?
Me:.................2 -
My new mobile development teacher just admitted he has never learnt git or any other VCS, I asked him what he does when shit happens and he just said,
"I just have a folder for each version backed up to Google Drive"
This is the guy that's teaching us? Surely as a teacher you should be setting a proper example and using good practises....?16 -
I just started my new job as web developer. I have to work on an already existant PHP project, made by a random guy before me.
His code is so horrible it gave me a headache. At 10am (job starts at 9am..)5 -
There is always that one guy.. who doesn't give a fuck about testing and thinks he's not responsible for them...
Le Guy: lemme just push ma new code maan
Jenkins: Unit Tests failed - pls fix
Le Guy to the one who cares about testing: hey fuck uu, ur stupid tests are failing... fix them its ur problem.
*sigh*7 -
I worked really hard to make this girl my friend at work. We go for morning breaks around from 10:00 AM – 10:30 AM.
And then this new guy joined the company sitting close to me and we become friends. This new guy finds my girl friend really awesome and they are getting closer everyday and they are leaving me behind now and separates me with almost all the conversations during morning break meet.
Today, during the morning break. My girl friend said that I have changed and don't talk to her much like I used to. Way back when we met I really clearly told her that I have anxiety and social disorder so please bare with me and she told me that she will be there for me as a good friend.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm going to lose a good friend really soon.5 -
!dev
The universe is made of electrons, neutrons, Protons and morons..
You probably know that one but I still enjoy it..
Maybe this one is new to you:
2 guys walk into a bar.
P1: I’ll take a glass of H2O.
P2: I’ll take some H2O, too.
The second guy died..3 -
My business partner and I started working at our new office and this other guy who was our client and provided us Internet connection for very cheap price, asked us if he can come and hangout sometimes
My partner : yeah man, any time !!
That guy : thanks man
Partner : But only when we are not that busy and don't bring any other person unless it's a woman.
Me : what !!
My partner : what ?4 -
My Unix class
👨💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script
Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!3 -
!rant this is just a shoutout, how fucking happy I am. Clean code valued over fast but hacky push of features!
Backstory. I work for a startup. Long story short a guy with an idea needed a developer. I've worked for about a year without pay but now since we're live I get paid. Recently a new field of bussiness came up. I told tge guy with the idea (a.k.a. my boss) that we either could just "hack" the current code to just make it "fit" well kind of... Or refactor our main code base, as requirements where changing at least monthly and we just built on top of the monolith.
Don't get me wrong. It still isn't perfect. However I was able to refactor the main business logic for the last few days, as he understood, it's an investment into the future.
Good guy!
P.S. On another note: happiness or happyness? :O1 -
I work as a .Net consultant. Currently I am at a company that blocks all sociale media sites and sites that look like 'em. I don't mind the social media, but YouTube is also blocked and I need my dose of daily epic music world while developing. So, I set up a proxy on my server to easily bypass these blockades. Note: company policy says nothing about not being allowed certain websites, I always read this before using this trick.
Last week, a new guy joined the company and gets a desk just next to me. After a lot of looking at my screens and trying stuff he asks me for the entire office: "Hey how are you going on YouTube? It doesn't see to work for me.". 😫
The rest of the day, I had to explain to co-workers what a proxy is (they don't care about any tech they don't need...). And I had to explain to the pm that I was not hacking their network...
I'm not sure if I will be getting along with this new guy.... 😧1 -
Leave the house for 30 fucking minutes and the courier attempts to deliver my new notebook just then---after four days in transit. And, of course, they don't deliver at the weekend.
I swear the guy was camped outside my house waiting to fuck me over.1 -
At one of my previous gigs, the IT director was just some guy that dated the bosses daughter. When she inherited the company he went from entry level data analyst to his new director position. IF he decided to show up to work at all it would be at just in time for lunch, and then he'd head out shortly after.
This guy would ask for an estimate on development and then start the timer when marketing started working on the project. This would often lead to us estimating something like 4 months on a project, and then waiting on marketing for 3 of those months, leaving us with 30 days left.1 -
Got a new guy. Having a dumb meeting. New guy is humblebragging. It is making the dumb meeting longer. I feel angry. Like Warren Moon must have felt in 1995. He is a PhD. That's probably why. Ugh.1
-
note: it is already dec. 23 in here
testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.
wtf1 -
So, I am feeling low in life. I want to do so many things and not a single one is going as planned. On top of that Bitcoin has taken a plunge and my funds are stuck with a shitty exchange and I cannot withdraw till tomorrow.
Le a github issue appears and I am thinking what went wrong now. I had added a few new features to the app which would have broken the old configurations. So, I ask this guy to re-configure and test.
After about 2 hours I get a reply from the guy saying "Thanx for the great new features and for creating this great open source project!!!"
This made my day. And I am thinking Life's good. Life is so easy and we make it so difficult for us. The first thing I am doing after this review is write this rant. Now back to work.2 -
One developer got a code and had to add new feature so he writes new function in similar way that arleady written one. Pass the code to next guy.
Next guy: why did u write this function like that?
First guy: Coz one was arleady written that way
N: but it was written wrong
F: ...so now 2 are written wrong (no he will not fix it 😂😂)1 -
Three days after I purchased iPhone XS, I had to install a new modem at home. The phone wouldn’t connect to the wifi network in the higher frequency band. The guy who came to install the modem dished out the theory that the phone must be too damn old to support it. That burn!
PS: it connected almost a couple of seconds later that. As if it was some kind of extra layer of authentication. Well played Apple.6 -
Hi. I'm new here and liking it.
My rant today: Lofty business guy tells my small dev team that he knows exactly how everything should look and work because he knows exactly what users want out of the webapp experience.... goes on to tell us to make an editable, side-scrolling table that is also mobile-friendly, for users to manually input a ton of data.... -
I was doing code reviews for some of the new Devs recently joined... One guy wrote his entire life history in the check in description... Like Why he took this approach, why interfaces are necessary in coding, when did he lost his virginity (I doubt he ever did), what's his pet name? - sadly no information related to his online banking... Shame really...
-
Im excited because I'm getting new pc parts for free.
The parts are:
* AMD 8 core CPU ( not sure which model )
* 16 GB ram
* some good graphics card ( not sure what model )
* motherboard
* cooling ( still not Sure what it will be, the guy was very vague )
It's also coming just before my birthday7 -
Ladies and gents,
It feels amazing to learn a new language. I feel like a French guy learning Swahili with ease. Or a game mod creator turning on God mode.2 -
we just created a new web dev team (3 months) and boss came to us, looked what frontend guy has done already (one guy who joined us month ago) and said "this is not how i imagined our platform. It should be working next month". Well how about providing anything to let us know what do you want? Well Im fighting now to get some brief at least ;)
-
Having a possible new client come in our office and they wanted to see our system. I ask the sales guy what he thin kthey wanted to see.
Day before:
Sales: They do a lot of projects, so if we could show them our rollout system that would be great.
Me: We don't have one....
Needless to say I was up all night and it still turned out as an amazing feature that we use to this day.2 -
There was a task to upgrade, refactor and rewrite azure functions project. It was assigned to guy who was about to leave the company. After 2 weeks at his last day at 16:50 he committed the changes. He literally copy pasted the old project into new file structure and left the building. FUCKING ASSHOLE.1
-
How much arguments you need to change your opinion?
Once I was lead developer, new guy came and he was impossible in his quest to be right. We would argue for three hours, while time passed away. Every day arguments over slack...7 -
New colleague comes to present himself. Sees me editing using key bindings, multiple buffers showing in Emacs, bash scripts running in separate terminal...
"I have no idea what you do around here, but I'm sure your a pro"
Seems like a smart guy to me.1 -
Created a github open source project for voice recognition for react native Android.
Needed help developing some features and did my research with links to some articles.
Then some guy that showed interest in the specific issue just copied my repo and launched his own npm package with the new features.
Just threw my code in the garbage and just felt so irritated. I did all the research and shared the research links and he just duped me and left me to rot. No credit given.
Fuck that guy. This is not open source.
Rant over3 -
In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.
Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!4 -
Tomorrow starts a new guy in my team (I am TL), but I have never seen him before! 😕
A coworker resigned during the hiring process and has had his last day today and I am overtaking his team because my boss is unable to set up a job profile.
180% of workload and even more new guys arriving (2 more in the next 2 months!)
No salary raise either...
FML4 -
was handed a new .NET project (im not a C# guy). i go to spin up a windows 10 machine, i have a 20 gig SSD thinking that would be enough - Windows 10 + Visual studio is 24 gigs???? WTF!!!!2
-
Still not sure about this new guy, not trying to be rude but everytime we're talking about code he says shit that makes me wonder how he got hired. (btw he is hanging with the IT department all the time) He's a very nice guy, but talks massive shit when it comes to bugs/new features/etc.
Should I have a look at his pc to see what he's doing when in office or is it none of my business. Help me out here, I'm really curious but don't care if he's a fake at the same time lol.
8 -
Everyone around me is achieving something in life. One guy got into an art academy at the age of 15, a girl got into theater school at 16, at least three people have formed a band and are doing gigs
I have accumulated 147 unfinished projects over the course of 3 years and of course I started a new one today5 -
Had a call with my line manager today about extending a deadline to the end of the year. Given the work needed it’s a given as I’m having to pretty much refactor an entire app, plus I also suggested that I train the new guy to give him some experience as I have training and tutoring experience.
It’s the first time I’ve gone “Here’s what I want and here’s what I need for this to work” and it went smoothly.
Great day. -
!Rant
CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"
... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly3 -
Having that teacher that just laughs at you and makes you look like an inferior piece of sh*t just cuz you ask a question in CS class..
Any question for that matter
And of course he is the head of department...
And with that: hi guys, i'm new, seems like a lot of fun here :D1 -
It's fucking sad that when you buy a new laptop with good specs, good nvidia graphics, good sound and install Arch Linux because you hate fucking windows and arch way is the right way. But, then Linux fucks you because there is no proper nvidia support and you have to use wine which doesn't support new games and you run frequently into problems like audio (P.s. maybe in linux 4.10.11). You have to configure microphone everytime while using Skype and see some other guy having same laptop playing happily latest games without much burden.😣😣😥😥😔😔
When will Linux kernel be amazing for gaming??14 -
me making new dev friends
[...]
me: yeah that's cool what IDE are you using for C++?
guy: like an editor where I write the code?
me: ......yes?
guy: hold on, I don't know what it was called
> taps around his desktop
> guy shows word 2007
> I'm laughing a bit uncomfortably because I'm not sure whether he is serious or not
> guy opens up .cpp file in word
> so many questions
> mfw
2 -
I am getting hugely fucked off with the new captchas that are everywhere (well hardly new but I swear they’ve gotten worse).
I’m taking longer to do captchas now than I am to post on forums.
I want to find the guy who came up with this and break my fist off of his cunt.4 -
So the new guy convinces my employer that he is a Machine Learning Expert. Nothing is wrong until He even convinces my employer that he can do Machine Learning with HTML (<==== is not a Programming Language); This is the time my IQ instantly dropped to ```Patrick Star```.8
-
Ok, so the company ask me for "responsabilities guidelines" for ease the training of new guy who will work as my replacement in the company.
They distributed my responsibilities to 10 people...
Can i say that i'm a "x10 Engineer"?
Fun fact: i don't even have the Engineer degree yet. I´ll get it at october's last friday.
*dab*
3 -
I come into the office today and a new guy is sitting at my desk. alright, I introduce myself and explain this is my desk (btw I work in an office where some workers share a desk, me being the most senior tech the desk is reserved for me) and he gives me a dirty look, gets up, and doesn't say anything. could you be more of an asshole?
has this ever happened to anyone else ?5 -
Some days ago I was talking to the main IT guy at my new job, we still work on different dept so I don't know anything about him.
As I start come general chat I begin to realize He don't know what a repository is, what the GIT for github mean or even nothing about the ancient CVS.
I'm starting to worry about where am I.6 -
A client hired someone to work on a new feature while we were working on something else. The new guy makes huge commits that we don't have the time to read, really.
I merged and deployed my work only to find that the whole database was wiped. Apparently, the new guy pushed some code that reset the database.
I Spent the rest of the day looking through backups trying to restore the database.2 -
A client's representative (was an operations manager maybe; non technical guy) was explaining his legacy project (a knowledge transfer session), mentioned about using Azure for their new system.
One of the senior .net developer in the room interrupts this guy and asks "can you explain what do you mean by azure?"
I was like "what the fuck! did I hear it wrong" -
Not a fight I was involved in but one I observed. A junior dev on my team and a server ops guy had major personality conflicts. One day the server ops guy had enough and physically went after the junior dev. I was senior but still pretty new to my own career and had no idea how to handle it. Server guy got fired soon after. I was glad I didn’t have firing power and that he didn’t even report to me anyways.2
-
The new guy just locked our server account (I was using it, thats why he couldn't login) and the IT guy from the client has already left...
I guess its and early day... -
That time when the IT guy for your client company email you asking if we need to change code of their web based system cause they got new printer.
He forwarded the question from users like he didn't know the users needed to select a new printer or change their default printer.
God knows what he's doing there!!3 -
From the only tech guy (after co worker left) at my old job to 'the new guy' at my new job
Its a fucking flip lol
But at least I'm not dealing with a terrible ceo and growth
Day 3 and they're already trusting me with stuff and not treating me like a child even though I'm asking a million questions
And they're already discussing how I can use my actual background experience to do new unique things for the department rather than just bogging me down with instructions and "do it this way"2 -
Just opened Telegram to read new messages from a random group in which I was added by a total random guy. Saw that guy asking for some help on how he could get more free RAM in his phone for whatever reasons. Then saw this fucking asshole writing dumb shit instead of helping him and everybody is now praising him like God. I thought of telling that dick what he's upto, but just left that fucking group of morons immediately.
4 -
Me and new guy are working on something. We're both in different countries.
New guy just graduated a couple of months ago. Thinks he's better than us, egoistic, refuses to accept his mistake. Cannot work well in a team and arrogant. Basically a package.
I fucking spent 3 hrs trying to look for a bug in my code, which doesn't exist in the first place. Because he's a lazy fuck and refuses to even accept that he might've made a bug (evident from the fact that his first reaction was to blame me and second reaction was to verify his code)
And he doesn't have the decency to admit that he made a mistake.
What's even more sad is that I've to babysit him cuz he's incompetent.
It's fucking obnoxious.2 -
Windows guy here, installing Ubuntu. Gonna see if I can get a Hello World going with this fancy new .Net Core.5
-
I study Computer Science. At school we have a little project group that help others students in different fields with their computer problems.
A guy came and he says that he tried to removed the jack from the audio jack - he broke it for whatever reason - with a stick with hot glue on it's tip saying he saw this on Youtube. The glue got stuck in the jack... We had to buy a new headphone jack card for his laptop. -
What's your opinion on Deno the new javascript / typescript / Webasembly runtime from the same guy who invented node.js ? Do you think it will be replacing node? Do you gonna try it?
https://deno.land/std/manual.md/...
22 -
public const bool DEBUG_THAT_SHIT = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("debugThatShit");
public const bool DEBUG_THAT_OTHER_SHIT = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("debugThatOtherShit");
public bool iMadeANewFeature = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("newFeature")?true:false;
Fucking new guy, can you not fucking read the other constants and make them look the same? Apparently not and I am the asshole. -
Happend a few months ago...
We encountered a performance issue somewhere in our Code, written by a guy who already left.
It was kind of this:
foreach(var id in idList)
{
CallServiceWithDataBaseAccess(new List<string>()
{
id
}
}
Well. It was obvious as in this example... -
A new developer started working with us a few months back. Plenty years of experience, both front- and backend.
He was the perfect guy for the job, according to management. Two weeks ago he asked me what JWS Cookie I used to send my requests.
After a few minutes we realized that he meant JWT token.
Said developer is no longer working with us, he didn’t like all the new technology.1 -
Here's an idea for new drinking game
In circle one after another coders picking absolutely random word, and google it in format <word>.js and if there's a JS library named like that, guy that said that takes a shot
The one who survives -- wins!7 -
!rant
Just had a meeting with a client. Client is a local company but they hired a new guy and he is a foreigner. They made a website with us. Since it is a typical corporate website with few pages and just text and images as content, we used WordPress.
The new guy is familiar with squarespace and asked me my opinion on using SS. I don't really find any issue and it was my reply. He seemed surprised and asked me "Wouldn't it be like losing your business?"
I have never considered developing WordPress as my business. Programming is my interest and profession. But my main passion is to provide solutions to anyone in need. In fact, there were many occasions where I told to clients they shouldn't buy our services and recommend other services including competitors.
He probably thinks I'm a strange guy. -
This new guy started working/doing his internship when I had just finished mine. He asked a colleague for help, but had to wait a little. All of a sudden he got up, said bye to another colleague and left. All of the sudden the colleague asked where he was. Apparently he left because he didn't feel like waiting. Safe to say he wasn't welcome back after that.
-
All facebook group about web development is
- can you help me with my wordpress site
- how i can change my domaine name
- need help with e-commerce on wordpress
And other
Im there to follow new web technologies not to be a support guy jessus .
Quit the group3 -
Company logic: "we need a new software manager for the program. This guy has worked on every piece of our product. Including as team lead of one of the teams. But wait he has never signed time cards. We better bring in this guy who has been in the company less than a year and is a known job shopper to do it instead."
Long story short, I am getting a new software manager that knows nothing about our product. Fun4 -
Last day on my first job where I stayed for a year. I really enjoyed it, loved the team, we were always laughing and making jokes, even in the worst moments.
Had a leader who became a friend, I made some good friends in there.
But I was really unmotivated as a dev, we maintained a really old and complex software, with a poor infrastructure for the dev team.
The manager was a great guy, but couldn't handle much pressure, saw him about 3-4 times quarreling with someone when he should be talking with the team to solve the problem.
But as I said, he is a great guy.
Today the whole team will be making a happy hour as my farewell party. I love this guys.
After that, on monday, I'll be joining a new company, working with a whole new stack, studying a lot for this new challenge.3 -
When the new guy changes the format of the code and fucks it up and you have to go back and fix it... slowly raises gun to head
-
So this new guy keeps commenting on the fact that I drink the ‘free’ instant coffee instead of the 3$ coffee from the shop next door..
LEAVE ME ALONE!!5 -
We have this guy at the company who always presents good ideas and always suggests new projects. One day he suggested a great project, our boss really liked the idea and gave me the green light to start creating it.
The guy, seeing the opportunity to promote himself, and without consulting me about the deadline, set up a meeting to present the application to the directors, and only then informed me about the deadline. At that moment I did my part, told him that it would not be possible to meet the deadline with all the requirements, something had to be withdrawn, and that's what he did, took a lot of things from the project and we went on like this.
While I was implementing the application, he was always pushing, asking me to do it faster, asking my boss to put me exclusively in his project, and things like that, the boss was always saying that there were not enough people on the team to devote someone exclusively to the project. The guy of course did not agree with that.
At the end the application, without a lot of the initial requirements, was a really mess but ready, he presented to the directors, who in turn liked a lot, and consequently asked to do all the initial requirements and some more. But now those initial requirements had to be made on top of a mess because of all the rush and adaptations.
A few months later, with the change of the board, the guy turned up being my boss, and I've prepared myself to go back to his project with exclusive dedication.
Then came the surprise, when the guy, in the boss position, realized the limitations of the team, instead of putting me to do everything he wanted in that project, he canceled the project entirely and for all the reasons that had already been said to him by the former boss.
Please, don't be like that guy!2 -
New guy hasn't written or commuted any code, yet he is the most annoying person doing code reviews with bullshit comments.
Normally when I start at a new shop, I hold off on code reviews until I'm at least familiar with the project(s).1 -
Documentation at the end of a 3 year project is like writing a blurb with only titles of the chapters... You better understand the entire project !! Good luck to the new guy.. Lol
-
If there is anything worse than a bad, not willing to learn programmer is a so called plugin programmer.
Who only knows how to install plugin over plugin to do a simple task.
Just had to fix something on one websites (wp site, I know, just kill me) where the guy had like 25-30 plugins (some where disabled). And most of them were for adding new widget positions.3 -
whining
So I'm sitting here, working my ass off developing something far above my current skills.
On the opposite side of the table sits relatively new guy, working as a part of support "department". Relatively new means that he's with the company for around 1 month.
The guy started speaking to me. I took off my headphones and listened, while still reading code. He told me about how he'll have to carry out the recruitment process for the support department today. And that he was told to present himself as a leader of the department, blah blah blah.
To be honest, I stopped listening at that moment. I got really pissed. And it's not because of the absolute lack of the professionalism of the company (srsly, make a new guy do recruitment work?). It's because I asked boss to get someone to help me half a year ago. He did employ around 3 new support people (4th today). But no one for me.
And he has the balls to tell me that I NEED to work harder to make it for deadline that he imposed. That he won't employ anyone new for me because new people could stole his "idea". Because MAYBE in a month one guy, a junior like me, will come back (he's on a break to finish his master thesis).
Product I'm working on is probably the main reason other companies are even buying the system he's reselling. As a student I'm working only half-time, so those deadlines are almost impossible.
I wonder how he'll manage if I'll get accepted for the work I'm currently applying.4 -
When the new head of the Computer Science program at our university comes to our help desk and needs help getting a Kali Linux box to connect to wifi... we have lost all hope (back story this guy is only head because he was the only one to take the job. he is a total tard... it's scary)2
-
I'm currently working as a full stack web developer.
Now to my situation. Me and my team partner are part of a bigger dev department. My department lead now wants to split his responsibility into smaller groups. All groups get a new lead out of the group of devs except mine... No let's put together web and hardware development. It's not like I already coordinate all web and app related stuff. But hey let's hire a new guy for this... Hopefully someone with the same knowledge of the web as my current lead... Like none... -
I remember back then when we were building an E-commerce website. To maintain good performance the boss insisted using flat table. This was also applied to other projects like GPS. That was already 2013 when NoSQL databases like MongoDB was around already. His concern is he didn't like to risk on new technologies and it would cost money for training instead of using the existing "MySQL" and Microsoft SQL Server.
Everything I learned from that guy was just poop. -
Hey guys, I need some junior advice. I work at a small startup in a team with 2 other backend developers.
The "new" guy studied at a university for a few years. He writes beautiful code. I try to learn from it and use his short hands a lot. I came from highschool and don't have a degree in it (yet).
I recently wrote a piece of code which handles some timeslot logic. I was really proud of it.
New guy needs to fix a bug and add a few things. He completely refactors my code and makes it more structured and partly better. The logic stayed the same.
It sort of bothers me that he touches my (precious) code. How do you guys handle these things?21 -
I'd been with the company for maybe two weeks, pushed some changes and updates to a client's site on a Friday afternoon as instructed by my boss, checked everything over and it's all fine.
Come Monday morning and this client is seriously miffed, not all of the changes had applied and the site was a mess all weekend. Turns out a bug with the caching plugin meant what we were getting in the office was different to outside.
Meetings were held and a new QA procedure was put in place. -
I was 7 years old and my father bought our first PC, something like a 286, 386 or possibly even a 486, don't remember... Anyway, the guy that was setting it up was a programmer and I watched him first set it up and then I watched him program something into the wee hours on our new PC, I've no idea what he was doing, but I watched him for hours, was dazzled by it as much as by the games he installed :)
-
I have being working on a project with server side using PHP. My dev environment is XAMPP on Debian. PHP is 7.3.10. So.... no MCrypt. Documents said that a new kid called Sodium is in town but php said he doesn’t know this guy...
I have no encryption library...15 -
Don't you just love that moment when you see shit,
Flying.
In a bow.
Through the air.
And actually just starting, just starting, to hit the fan.
Three days before your deadline.
And it is crystal clear the project is gonna end up as a mess.
Total disaster.
But the best thing of all: it's not your fault.
So, you are actually celebrating the mess to come a little, and know that you can blame the guy who isn't trusting you as a new guy, and show him, with all his more years experience, he is the one who can't be trusted.1 -
So we have this new vp guy, and a team in US and another in india
The vp asked me to finish one task by tonight 11pm, and if I need help with the India team's code, call a guy there to help debug
After some debugging with that dev, he replies with:
The code won't work because we haven't implemented it yet
.........
Yo, what the hell is wrong with people
How am I supposed to finish a task that isn't even implemented, and why pushing so much to have it done, wtf I'm so confused with this
Every week a new headache like this, but this was laughable, in two weeks I start a new job 😂6 -
Happened way back when I was still in high school and facebook was relatively new. We used to own a cyber cafe.
--
The Guy: (Talking to other customers) I'll have you know that I'm a graduate in Computer Science! *Proceeds to boast about self and other bullshittery*
Others: *In awe*
Me: *Veeeery Skeptical*
A few days later...
The Guy: (Talks to me) Hey, there seems to be a problem with your internet. I can't log in on facebook.
Me: Could you try to do what you are doing again?
...
The Guy: See, doesn't work.
Me: Have you registered your account on facebook?
The Guy: Huh? What are you talking about? I have my Yahoo! mail.
Me: ..You need to register your email on facebook in order to log in.
The Guy: What?? I don't get it. I am registered and have a Yahoo! mail!
Me: *Brain Sigh*
(I proceed to help him register his email on facebook)
The Guy: Oh, you had to register on facebook! Now I get it! I thought that if you created an email you can immediately use that to log in to facebook.
Me: *Internal facepalm x1000*
(This guy is a Computer Science graduate? Oh PLEASE. ) -
Well I would say a pretty humbling experience was my last job interview where my new boss and hr guy were truly shared by my skills and then the first day at work where my boss said please do this decision, I really need an opinion by an experienced developer like you as I am not sure which one is the better one.1
-
ON THE PHONE WITH THE SHITTY HEALTH CARE PROVIDER THAT OUR COMPANY USES... THEY CANT PROVIDE AN EMAIL.... NOW THE GUY I GOT SAYS HE CANT ACCESS MY INFO BECAUSE OF A SYSTEM ERROR.... NEED TO TRANSFER TO ANOTHER GUY!!!!
WTF!!!!! DUMBASSES.... THEY SHOULD BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!
AND I NEED TO GET A NEW JOB... BUT PROLLY WONT BE DOING THAT FOR AWHILE.... :( -
So ive been on this project for months. Project lead did not have a role anymore and now they decide this other guy is the new project lead. This while i am the one having to deploy everything and answer questions from mr Free Lance.
Holy crap i gotta find myself a new job, these people are going nuts. -
It's really painful to go through a codebase when the other guy doesn't comment anything. It's a new project, you have the opportunity to make it not a nightmare to work with, and yet you choose to not document shit. I've been documenting stuff as I go along at least. Feels like I should have some linter forcing comments on methods at least.
-
Looking for hosting Don’t really know who I should go through? I have used host gator and go daddy in the past and would like to try out some new hosting. What would you guy recommend? And why? Budget for the month would be around 15 usd for hosting max. I would like to host my portfolio and as many domains as possible on the hosting. Please help3
-
so, I am new to servers.. and I was watching this video on how to setup dspace..
And literally this guy is teaching how to copy..
his instructions were.
first hold left click and drag along the text
then leave the left button and click on right button then select copy1 -
Best experience? My homie @lordbarnhill and I stumbled onto the solution for installing OpenSocial #Drupal8 properly on Pantheon hosting.
Worst experience? Creating a website for a radiology group only to get fired with 3 days left until launch. The "new" developer turned out to be their IT guy in house took 2 months to launch. The experience up to the point of getting fired was excruciatingly detailed and filled with ope creep. -
!rant
I want to create a website and the frontend stuff is already done by another guy. It is similar to social media in that it needs an upvote-system and accept uploads. There also needs to be a payment system. I have very little experience in web development, but I have a lot of fun learning new things.
My question: Would you recomend a CMS(which one) or
learning by doing?7 -
So funny thing happen yesterday night. I was attending a small talk at a meeting here in our town where one guy had to present some unconventional "React" methods and the other one had to present "ClosureScript".
The "React" guy didn't show up, and the "Closure" guy told us that this compiler is multi-threading but in fact by his examples was single-threading.
So instead of learning new stuff in there I just laugh my ass off because of this event. -
When the guy with 30 years experience calls the new engineers interns and gets smacked with the same title he has.
-
Chronicles of UX struggles vol. 2
I ask the design team to do some sketches so I could see how they want the pages (2 pages), UX guy says he'll do the sketch for the page, and I ask to which one, the first one or the second one?
...
He answered me "Yes"...
Edit: he took over 3 hours to send me a new message after I tried to understand what he was indeed going to do... -
My team decided to do a MOB programming in one of our tickets.
New joiner: Perfect we did a mob yesterday .
Me: Great, that's good. How did it go?
New joiner: Well, we work together in the gaming room next to each other and trying to solve the issue. I think it's very productive.
Me: Awesome! Let's do it again today... When we started the MOB, all of them are using their own laptop. And I was like.. so, this is how you did the MOB yesterday?
New guy: Yes.
Me: This is not a MOB programming... MOB programming uses only 1 screen, 1 driver and everyone work together, will tell the driver what to do, we need to exchange the driver every 10 to 15 minutes, everyone can be a driver. (devs, qa, ux, product) and do a retro after.
New guy: ah.. wow! Interesting.3 -
There is a hack-a-ton here till 23:00. The new guy i am i was thinking of staying and see where i can help...
Last couple of days i've been working on a project (my first real one yay) and at first i got lots of help to get me started.
Right now im completely stuck and everybody is busy here. No help anymore. Fml
The weather is hell atm here in Holland so, even thought i don't feel like staying anymore i think i still stay, and see if i can learn something new.1 -
This is an actual transcript...
Since it's way too long for the normal 5000 characters, hence splitting it up...
Infra Guy: mr Dev, could you please give some rational for update of jjb?
Dev: sparse checkout support is missing
Infra Guy: is this support mandatory to achive whatever you trying to do?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: u trying to get set of specific folder for set of specific components?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: bash script with cp or mv will not work for you?
Dev: no
Infra Guy: ?
Dev: when you have already present functionality why reinvent the wheel
Dev: jenkins has support for it
Dev: the jjb is the bottle neck
Infra Guy: getting this functionality onto our infra would have some implications
Dev: why should I write bash script if jenkins allows me to do that
Dev: what implications ??
Infra Guy: will you commit to solve all the issues caused by new jjb?
Dev: you show me the implications first
Infra Guy: like a year ago i have tried to get new jjb <commit_url>
Infra Guy: no, the implications is a grey area
Infra Guy: i cant show all of them and they may hit like in week or eve month
Dev: then why was it not tackled
Dev: and why was it kept like that
Infra Guy: few jobs got broken on something
Dev: it will crop up some time later
Dev: if jobs get broken because of syntax
Dev: then jobs can be fixed
Dev: is it not ???
Infra Guy: ofc
Infra Guy: its just a question who will fix them
Dev: follow the syntax and follow the guidelines
Dev: put up a test server and try and lets see
Dev: you have a dev server
Dev: why not try on that one and see what all jobs fails
Dev: and why they fail
Dev: rather than saying it will fail and who will fix
Dev: let them fail and then lets find why
Dev: I manually define a job
Dev: I get it done
Infra Guy: i dont think we have test server which have the same workload and same attention as our prod
Dev: unless you test how would you know ??
Dev: and just saying that it broke one with a version hence I wont do it
Infra Guy: and im not sure if thats fair for us to deal with implication of upgrading of the major components just cause bash script is not good enough for u
Dev: its pretty bad
Infra Guy: i do agree
Infra TL Guy: Dev, what Infra Guy is saying is that its not possible to upgrade without downtime
Infra Guy: no
Dev: how long a downtime are we looking at ??
Infra Guy: im saying that after this upgrade we will have deal with consequences for long time
Infra Guy-2: No this is not testing the upgrade is the huge effort as we dont have dev resources to handle each job to run
Dev: if your jjb compiles all the yaml without error
Dev: I am not sure what consequences are we talking of
Infra Guy: so you think there will be no consequences, right?
Dev: unless you take the plunge will you know ??
Dev: you have a dev server running at port 9000
Infra Guy: this servers runs nothing
Dev: that is good
Dev: there you can take the risk
Infra Guy: and the fack we have managed to put something onto api doesnt mean it works
Dev: what API ?
Infra Guy: jenkins api
Infra Guy: hmmm
Dev: what have you put on Jenkins API ??
Infra Guy: (
Dev: jjb is a CLI
Infra Guy: ((
Dev: is what I understand
Dev: not a Jenkins API
Infra Guy: (((
Dev: (((((
Infra Guy: jjb build xmls and push them onto api
Infra Guy: and its doent matter
Dev: so you mean to say upgrading a CLI is goig to upgrade your core jenkisn API
Dev: give me a break
Infra Guy: the matter is that even if have managed to build something and put it onto api
Infra Guy: doesnt mean it will work
Dev: the API consumes the xml file and creates a job
Infra Guy: right
Dev: if it confirms to the options which it understands
Dev: then everything will work
Dev: I am actually not getting your point Infra Guy
Infra Guy: i do agree mr Dev
Dev: we are beating around the bush
Infra Guy: just want to be sure that if this upgrade will break something
Infra Guy: we will have a person who will fix it
Dev: that is what CICD is supposed to let me know with valid reasons
Dev: why can't that upgrade be done
Infra Guy: it can be done
Infra Guy: i even have commit in place3 -
New guy: lets remove the backend and make only the frontend send POST requests to our AWS SQS! Now we don’t need backend
Everyone else: .. but why..?
Him: shrug5 -
About to start a new job in a few weeks. I haven't been the 'new guy' in a couple years. Any advice?12
-
I didn't do it but one of my coworkers when he was new left his desktop unlocked while stepping away from it for a while. Another coworker changed the keyboard layout to Dvorak and locked it. The guy had to had to use his phone to look up Dvorak to get his desktop unlocked.1
-
Fuck... Am getting my laptop's battery changed and this feels like someone's doing a heart transplant of my precious.
What if the new battery isn't compatible, what if the guy turns out to be a thug and takes away my laptop parts ,what if what if what if.... Damn kill me now10 -
so my mum got a new phone yesterday (huawei p smart)...
boy will that be an adventure showing her what is possible now (coming from moto g3😅)🙄
but hey i'm a patient guy when it comes to that😏 -
Sales guy: Client has a new requirement, wants it by the weekend.
Me: but did you tell him why we've an alternative for this here.
Sales guy: cool, complete it by weekend then. -
When you have no more tickets on your plate for a sprint, do you usually ask for more tickets, or do you wait to get assigned more tickets?
I'm the new guy, and don't want to work too fast, but also don't want to work too slow.5 -
So last semester for my English class, I had to learn a "new skill" and write an essay [the final] about it. So naturally instead of taking the time to learn something new, I just slapped together a c# (in which I'd say I'm already fluent) calculator app with winforms.
When it came time to present my "new" skill to the class, everybody was overimpressed. Then at the end of my little presentation, one guy goes "Oh! Is that all done in HTML?".
Without giving it a thought, I instinctively replied "No, it's a programming language". He just looked so confused after that. -
So I've been in a new job(in a nearshore company) for roughly 2 months, and has been a marvelous experience. They hire constantly and for me that's a good sign but welp.
Today I got a message in linkedin from an unknown guy who applied to a mobile job offer, asking me if I could recommend him for the opening. From one side I feel awkward, I don't know the guy, his skills, his drive for learning and from other side I know how hard can be to land a job, but asking a stranger to get a recommendation... First time that happened to me, I don't know if the guy is at the end of the rope or is just trying to get the easy path.
PS: at this very moment in the company, I barely know the hiring and management people at the company 🤷♀️1 -
Nothing makes me - on a regular basis - doubt myself more than when I'm reading documentation and finding the arguments and variables I need, but not for the life of me finding the syntax or which context I should be using it in.
It's as if it's assumed to be common knowledge and I dread being "that guy" to ask someone about it. I feel like such a chump opening a new tab and googling for examples. -
I hate surprises.
I join office after a short leave and the other guy is out with a completely new product I have no clue of. (surprise 1)
Next, he's on leave and now I'm asked to fix bugs.(surprise 2)
Just for the curious, I ended up successfully fixing them and adding 2 features. -
The new guy ran into traffic one day instead of using the crosswalk with the rest of us. There were several pirouettes involved and luckily the cars slammed the brakes in time. To this day we still have no idea why he did it.
There are many stories about him doing strange things but this was the most memorable by far. -
Working with external teams on this new project involving pretty sensitive stuff like bank transactions.
Talking about user flow and how to handle authentication, like 2-factor and stuff.
Newish guy on external team (though experienced) says they have a proposal.
Security Questions.
... like "What was you first car" security questions...
awkward silence in room...8 -
So we had a new platform guy start this morning.
*2 hours later*
They fired the only previous other platform guy. Well this'll end well... -
I'm very new to the business world, this is my first freelance project, a website with articles, editable profile pages and a calendar. I can't say no to the customer so the scope grew a bit too fat. I'm moving to England and starting university next week, and the project is going to be transferred to some guy, supposedly for maintenance, but it's not even close to complete. I feel like shit for failing them and especially I feel bad for the poor guy after me.3
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Not really the place for this, I know. But I am a crypto coin guy. And I work with numerous coins. I was curious if anyone new of an app the could monitor all of your cryto-coin addresses and give you something of a portfolio value. I am capable of doing so manually but the prices flux a decent amount so it changes from day to day.6
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"...what I'm looking at... uh... wait this is ridiculous... what is this... how do I update this..."
This new guy I'm supposed to bring up to speed constantly mumbles like this. He's just talking to himself. But it's so annoying that it's like he's constantly asking me questions.4 -
So, a new coworker started here about two months ago. He's all about talking but the actions aren't very fast.
I looked at my Pull Request and this guy is writing comments for 5. Where the hell did he get the balls from? Seriously!
Please stand next to the designer so i can slap both of you bitches. -
The new guy goes on and on an on during Stand. He covers absolutely every little fucking thing he's done with anyone he's worked with.
Our new project manager laughs at EVERYTHING. It's not that funny man.
The support guy is also super annoying. We found out he was homeschooled the other day. That explains a lot.1 -
I've just changed our style sheet generator to using gulp.
Took me 10 minutes to learn what to do (just css preprocessing with prefixes).
Grunt was horrid. We had it because the last guy thought "something new, I'll use this now", and it's never changed because no one understands it. Even after a few hours research. -
someone gets in my Discord server, asks "can anyone download a file for me? DM me" in the bot trap, and leaves.
Is it worth the effort of trying to track this guy down so I can get new malware or is it not worth the risk of CP?4 -
New guy - Senior profile - First question asked - Nope it's a Junior. How come - asking the basic functionality of the middleware piece you have to extend and cannot even answer on this one
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3 devs, one and myself are new hires. I started a week after the other new guy and my 3rd week of training is next week.
The other devices has been fixing what the Swift 3 update broke. We realized next update we will be fixing it. Time to learn Swift! -
Till today, me along with another one guy were the only Tux users in the office. Just now, one of my colleague saw how easily and quickly I get various tasks done and got impressed. He said he is getting a new laptop next week and wants this. He is already frustrated with the lag in Windows and the infamous Windows updates. I gave him a pretty good review and he asked me if I could help him install Ubuntu on his new laptop when he gets it 😃
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Started a new job at the same time as another guy. We are doing pull requests, I leave a comment about a one line improvement.
"This is not part of my task. If you want me to do extra run it past our bosses. You can't tell me what to do."
I despair. -
Those days when you have to sit behind the new guy at the customer and let him code. And explain every single thing to him 🤦♂️. And all you want is to grab the keyboard and start coding on your own 👨💻.
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So remember rant from yesterday about Go plugins? Well turns out that a new version of Traefik was just released with plugins based on Yaegi!
"It can't all be good news" you say, suddenly paying attention. You're right, their implementation is a bit weird and I don't fully understand it... So I've decided to try to ask for help from the guy who wrote the feature, let's see if he responds... -
I was the new guy in a meeting where we had to decide who works on which projects.. I was last pick and had to take one for the team.. Build a freaking WordPress plugin... Fml
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One of my first rants was about adding a 1 to the wrong part of an extensive equation.
Just had the new guy move it back to where I had it messed up initially. It took him a few minutes to understand why his changes weren't working.
To not feeling stupid anymore. 🍻 -
A new guy joined my team two months ago he is more experienced than I am, but his knowledge yet is not good enough for our project. He is on live project working with me on a feature. I have major trust issues right now. How do people handle that in your teams?3
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Guys, how do you structure branching in an enterprise project?
We're using git, managers are MIA, I'm basically helping another new guy kick off and maintain the projects that we have.
What would be a good branching strategy? Front end and backend in the same project, 5 man team in the future.2 -
We're supporting hardware for a new client now. A guy on my team has been working directly with the client to set up access for us all. He sent us all an email yesterday, asking us to update a ticket with our, "domain name and passphrase."
He meant user id and ssh public key, but he doesn't know enough about Linux (which he supports for a living) to know what it was called. -
I keep asking inconvenient questions in meetings. Because I'm supposed to just be the "hardware" guy I guess it's unexpected?
Piggybacking off the low gain vs high gain omnidirectional antennas question from yesterday I asked today if our wireless issues at another branch could be due to the NICs on the tablets.
802.11n is great if you have hardware capable of MIMO. If not that fancy new AP may not be such a sound investment.2 -
So...about companies having way to big expectations on their job ads descriptions: Me being the new guy in all of this, of course I'm looking for more informations on the field everywhere. One day I came across a video on youtube posted by Eli the Computer Guy, and he was describing (caricaturing) this exact problem. You should look it up.
I'm not sure if he himself is a valuable source/resource of knowledge, but it did help me to understand this problem to some extent.
Hope it helps you too.6 -
-assigning me a new API integration
-It should be fairly easy. Possibly in a click of a button.
-3 weeks later... End up with outdated documentation and a call with an Indian accent guy (no offence it just end up that way)
Please chose very carefully what to use and research it very well! Trust nobody but yourself! -
I talked to one of my coworkers about my next steps for completing my next project and he responds so lithargically. I don't know if he thinks I'm just an unexperienced idiot of if that's just how he is. Maybe it's just my imposter syndrome kicking in.
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That meeting about the integration of a new service in your app and you know more about the service to be integrated than the guy representing the service to be integrated and none of your questions about the integration issues were answered... One of the worst time wasting meeting.
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Business Process Execution Languages.
Would anybody incorporate these into a new project? The guy mentioned it at the interview and I have still not understood what are they useful for... -
I finally got around to working on my new application (after a friendly guy did pull requests)
I feel like I made decent progress.
yay!
I will certainly add more tomorrow :) -
I got to create the data platform with Azure Data Factory. I am new to data platform.
Any advise on what to look out for?
Could you guy please tell me if you know any good use case I can look at or any obvious pitfall which drain all the credit and so on?
I just a vague idea of what Azure data factory can do.4 -
tl;dr How do I deal with translations?
Chinese users asked for translations for ages, one guy did it all, but then? I needed to update the app, I had added some new strings, the guy didn't replayed. Obviously, as I didn't wanted to pay, I've used Google Translate. Result? "Good app, but the translations are wrong.", nice!
What can I do? Do I remove the Chinese translation and tell them to fuck off?3 -
2019. I found a guy, CTO of our client. 50+ age. He teaches a lot to us. In development, I enjoy this year, because this year has more learning then last year.
I start work on 3 more languages, see more possiblities in IT, Avionics Softwares, Aviation systems.
This year, I also learn a lot about data center power distribution.
So this year was full of learning and new things in development and IT.2 -
How do I deal with a lead who was hired to lead a predominantly backend team when he's just an average frontend dev. He's so afraid to try new tech and so reluctant to learn. Plus most of the junior developers are better than him. He even tries to shift the blame on other devs. It's so hard to deal with the guy. Our old lead was so much better the guy was a really bad hire zzzzz.1
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This guy nails it!
https://youtu.be/5Sl5C-5fX1M
A talk about (semantic) versioning and breaking updates which make you spend countless hours to just adapt to a new library upgrade and how we can do it with a bit less PITA.
tl;dw: The answer is codemods. -
So I'm the position that I'm the one who's hiring new developers at the firm I work at, do you have any tips on things I should consider and look for.
In technical terms I know what we need but what about the personal things and how to get the right guy/girl?4 -
The b*tch strikes again.... "Oh I dunno talk to the new guy I just trained"
Maybe I just hate my term now it need a vacation...1
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