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Search - "new guy"
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This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!
He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.
Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.
I was standing there like:
*should I tell him?*
😅😆64 -
Some guy my girlfriend knows, heard I'm a software developer. He had this 'great' idea on how he wanted to start a new revolutionary way of paying on the internet. He wanted to create a service like paypal but without having the hassle of logging in first and going through a transaction. He wanted a literal "buy now" button on every major webshop on the internet. When I asked him how he thought that would work legally and security wise, he became a bit defensive and implied that since I'm the tech guy I should work out that kind of stuff. When the software was ready, he would have clients lined up for the service and his work would start.
I politely declined this great opportunity14 -
Meeting with smooth suit guy:
"So, our company has pivoted"
I hate everything about this guy, not having slept well at all, I fucking snapped:
"Pivoted? Oh wow, what a wonderfully refined word to describe that your asinine business model smacked flat into the mud, that your obtuse bubble of vague ideas popped and your childish dreams of piles of undeserved gold got caught up by the hard reality that your product does not add any tangible value -- yet you tricked your sheepish retarded investors once again to fall for a new hype-filled pitch deck? Congratulations. At least you probably snort enough coke to keep believing in yourself..."
The guy nervously wiped his nose, stuttered, and walked off looking angry and a little confused.
So it turns out, my boss is apparently the major "sheepish retarded investor" in this company.
Today I got a mail from him. I expected fire and fury, nuclear ICBMs crashing into my desk.
"Thanks for your feedback, this is why I invite you to meetings. Could you take a look at their new pitch slides and preliminary API docs for me?"15 -
we got a new coworker who had no experience in coding. I was planning to leave the company (mainly because my other coworokers were jerks) but no one wanted to teach him so i started teaching the new guy. This was 4 months ago and He is the reason im still here and i enjoy my work again! :)16
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When the new guy on the team uses click bait titles on his PRs... that’s when you realise this guys going to go far.12
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My last internship. When acquiring a new project and having to give an estimate the boss/sales guy always went to the programming team first to ask them what the estimate was and then communicated that back to the client(s).
Asked him why he does that because many companies don't:
Well, the programmers are going to write the software so why the hell would *I* be the one who gives the fucking estimates?
Yes that was a good boss.4 -
Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"
*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*
Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.
Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"
*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*12 -
Guy: dot net dev (C#) on windows. (desktop + server)
Team(not his team, he just happened to sit next to us): php/frontend devs and Linux (server) people.
Team: starting a new project! We'll have to see what framework to use and what server :D
Guy: i know it's none of my business...... but I'd recommend dot net and windows server!
Me: respectfully, that hardly makes sense, you know our skillset/field... i understand that it works for you but it doesn't really for us :).
Next to that we'd rather not use windows for security reasons.
It's fine if that happens once.
When it happened for the 1748472823'th time, I had a real hard time controlling myself.10 -
My CEO: "So! You are the new guy we hired to design and manage the implementation of our new state of the art super-duper fancy ERP solution with badass Business Intelligence systems to grow our company which already spans over several localities across the county, that has to live for at least the next 12-15 years?
Please remember that the Windows Server in the rack in the basement needs replacement soon, and that our new fancy solution must not in any way utilize cloud-technology or SaSS! I don't like that! I think it's a scam! We store everything on premises, own our infrastructure and we buy our software...Because I think that is best!"
Me: "So... let me get this straight: You want me to build you a one-off, concept sports car that can outperform a Lamborghini using only plywood, duct-tape and a donkey cart?"
He walked off... I may need a new job next week!14 -
New guy: There's a memory leak in my code.
Me: You need to free the memory you previously allocated.
New guy: Already did that, deleted everything from my "Downloads" folder and some stuff from my Desktop.
Me: *Long Pause* Have you tried "rm -rf /" yet ?5 -
Fun fact: Michael Widenius named "MySQL" after his daughter My. When MySQL was acquired by sun, he decided to start a new open source database, "MariaDB", named after his second daughter Maria.
This guy is (partially) responsible for two of the largest databasesystems in the world.
Imagine his daughters apply for a database engineering job one day. During application process: "One of the largest databases in the world was named after me..." 😂20 -
New Guy Day 2: He has deleted the git repo on the project he was assigned to 4 times, written a recursion formula that crashed a server, & knocked my coffee cup onto the floor.
I messaged my boss telling him I am going to hide the body in his trunk.8 -
Mother of god, as if the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands wasn't bad enough, one of the politicians who likes the new law has come up with an even more redicilous idea.
an 'Internet Authority. To put it short, an authority which surveils the internet in real time and sees where all social media shit is coming from/going.
Meaning that it wouldn't just be 'targeted mass surveillance' sometimes but fulltime online monitoring.
This guy has lost his fucking mind.35 -
>> Le me. Le Idiot, moron, aloof.
>> No sense of life or living. No manners or dressing sense.
>> Arrogant and rude.
>> Going through hard times in personal life.
>> Moved to another project with two of my seniors, one guy(X) and other girl(Y).
>> Another senior in new team. Bad guy, bully me.
>> Le me make countless mistakes. Fail misreably.
>> X and Y catch me, everytime I fall.
>> X and Y teach me lot of things from their experience.
>> X good at telling stories. Le me love listening to his stories.
>> Y had a very good manager in past. Manager saved Y many times when Y was fresher.
>> Y lives the legacy and teaches me all those things to be a better human being.
>> Both support me everytime I make mistakes like their younger brother.
>> Le me work really very hard.
>> X and Y teach me smallest of the small things including how to write an e-mail to how to answer a telephone call.
>> Bad bully guy, tries to break us apart. Bad guy fails.
>> Le me teaches bad guy a lesson. Bad guy starts respecting my existence.
>> Le me gain confidence in life.
>> X and Y become close friends. I never had any siblings. I see them as my elder brother and sister.
>> X and Y start teaching me more than required for job.
>> Y gets married, haves kids, changes job and moves to different city.
>> Le me moves to different project. Groomed very well not just as an employee but also as a human being.
>> X still in same project.
>> Le me seek X's advice everytime stuck in job life. X always helps.
>> Still love listening to X's stories.
>> Y wishes everytime on my birthday without fail.
>> Still in touch. Great people. Amazing human beings.
>> Le me, mature now, hard and smart worker, earned promotion, going really well in job life.
>> Manager's perspective changed. Respects me more. Bad bully guy afraid of me.
>> New project, lot of respect and great performer.
>> My time to repay. Le me teaches juniors, guides and nourishes them when they fail or need help.
>> Juniors respect me a lot.
Thank you X and Y. I will always be indebted to you :)36 -
That moment when your boss is introducing the new guy and you are silently making a list of all the git repos you need to back up before he makes it to his desk.
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Today let me see how much of a better HTML/CSS lecturer I had before. The new guy just does everything from W3Schools while the older one, after telling us the basics, just gave us .psd files and let us figure out what was what and we learned a lot from that.2
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Sales guy (s) : how many hours do you think this project will take?
Developer (d) : well I guess about 250 hours
(one week later)
S: I finally sold that project
D: nice! When do we start?
S: you'll start next week and it needs to be done one month later
D: 40 hours a week, times 4 weeks for one month is roughly 160 hours
S: yes
D: but I said I needed 250 hours
S: yeah but they didn't accept that so I sold it for less
...
(and no the scope didn't adjust to the new time frame)17 -
New guy at work doesn't have admin rights and the company wont install anything until Monday... He is going through the code in notepad to learn our system.14
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Bought new headphones because my current ones' input fucked up again. Already ordered a new one for free but hours of traveling today without music isn't really an option for me.
New headphones don't work on devices without usb ports! 😭.
Went back to the store because I didn't know that and thought they were just failing and got it explained there. No money back because they were working fine.
Me: "well fuck me right now, then I'll just travel without music today :'(".
Guy: *grabs something from a closet thingy* "Here you go, a pair of earphones!"
Me: "Awesome! How much?"
Guy: "Enjoy your traveling man!".
😮
Thanks a thousand times to that guy!15 -
Fucking fuck fuck fucker fucking fuck
What a dumbass guy seriously. I have this colleague in my office who refuses to create a new branch because that will "ruin the single straight line". Are you seriously fucking kidding me??? The noobest guy ever doesnt know a third git command other than pulling and committing fucking nonsense. Why use git then? Just go back to creating zip files are maintain code. Fuck that guy too who hired him and now because of this fucking asshole I am not able to carry on my work.
Such so-called "developers" should be strapped to the back of a horse and the horse made to run on a gravel road for fuck's sake.. Fuck you man 🖕29 -
This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*1 -
I've put my blood, sweat and tears into this company in the past years. Worked overtime, evenings, weekends, night shifts to get shit done and helped out in sharing knowledge only to learn a new guy who's still learning has 200 bucks higher pay check than me.
I'm not even sure how to react to this.18 -
Manager: "yeah so thanks for understanding we can't give you a payrise, by the way we need you to train the new guy we just hired who is your senior because even though he is more experienced than you as a c# dev he doesn't understand what an object is"
Me...12 -
I'm moving to a new place soon meaning that I'll have to get a new desk/chair. (current ones suck)
I need a good one of both but I'm not rich so was looking for more cheap options.
The guy next to me is moving out soon as well appearantly and he came to me and another roommate like "hey I'm going to buy everything new, fresh start! If you guys would like to have anything, let me know!"
Me: also a desk/chair by any chance?
Guy: yup, take a look :)
*takes a look*
Me: the damn they look very good! Are you sure you want to get rid of them? I'd think they cost quite some money.
Guy: yeah, you can also have the couch table/clothing closet if you'd like! (all designer/quality stuffs)
😍8 -
That moment when the new guy tells u "slow down, idk anything bout programming" and u were just asking him to type ifconfig to find out his ip.
Seriously?5 -
Fuck the politics
Fuck cunt licking managers
Fuck net neutrality
Fuck those fonts
Fuck birthdays
Fuck your emotions
Fuck Instagram
Fuck your servers
Fuck television
Fuck the monsoons
Fuck the code
Fuck your crush
Fuck corporates
Fuck vacations
Fuck religion
Fuck Facebook
Fuck vintage cars
Fuck new smartphones
Fuck the world
That guy running tea stall on weekends, yeah! Fuck him too.
FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!38 -
We moved to a new office floor and got a brand new set up. My new extension monitor died just after 4 hours of use, it was showing a black screen a with couple of colourful lines running down the screen.
Got the IT guy to come and replace it. He says he must test it with a display cable even though the screen was dead without any input source. (Ok fine cbf arguing with you, just do it.)
*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*
Realising I was right, he gave the ok for another guy to replace my monitor.
Second guy comes to my desk and realised he forgot the electric screwdriver. (Sigh, how long must I wait...) After he finally finished installing the new monitor he plugged the display cable into a random display port without looking.
*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*
Since the monitor wasn't displaying anything, he jumped into asking me to restart my computer. I gave him "the wtf are you stupid face" and just said "NO". I looked over to where he plugged the cable and asked why he plugged into the "dp out" port.
I plugged the cable to the correct port and monitor was working.
Felt like I can do their job better without any experience in IT support.
PS. Don't play the "please restart your computer" card on me. I also work in technology.2 -
This one colleague at my work.
I'm pretty new to a lot stuff and I stress out about some stuff a lot more than the other guys, mostly because I'm scared I might not be able to fix it.
But whenever that happens, I explain this guy what's going on and then, while making jokes, talking in a very calming way, he always knows to fix it in no time!
For everyone who does this, thanks for being there for the little/new guys :)1 -
I started my first job with no degree and no real experience. It was a sink or swim kind of place. Six months in, I was working on a bunch of projects independently, then they hired a new junior developer, and told me it was my job to mentor him.
a lot of the time I knew what to do to get the job done, but I didn't know why. He always asked why... Learning something is one thing, teaching it is another. This guy was the best co-worker I've ever had because he pushed me to be much better while we learned together.2 -
Woman: IF you could make all the people in this forum brawl, I would go with you tonight.
Man: (Type) PHP is the best language all over the world!
The whole forum goes into brawl...
Women: You got me. I shall go with you. Do whatever you want. Let's go.
Man: Hold! Not today! I must convince them all!joke/meme very looooooooooooooooooong i suppose joke hey how long can this tag be? php wow a new guy7 -
So I gave this guy access to a database and phpMyAdmin and then I get this:
Him: hello??? i cant make databases i have no privilages
Me: Use tables instead of databases...
Him: I need to make databases
Me: Why?
Him: 1. my votes plugin 2. my ftop plugin 3. my forums 4. my new forums 5. my new forums (he runs a minecraft server fml)
Me: You don't need databases for all of those, you can use tables, that's a massive waste
Him: idc i would rather have databases
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!9 -
This is a fun one for me :D
TLDR: Was mad at my old boss and I got a new job the next day!
Here it goes :D
I was working at a IT Recruiting place as a IT Guy (the irony...). That job wad awful as fuck. I didnt do anything with IT I always had to clean up sone shitty database with a UI without ever learning what is happening behind the UI and my boss always told me that I would be learning a lot about databases when doing that... Yeah totally you fuckwit. All I did was copy pasting... So one day I got really mad at him and I just went home and didnt answer any calls or anything else for 2 days. That same day I started writing to web development companies and I sent a portfolio with a 1990 looking website but luckily I was just looking for an internship so I got called the next day by a company (spoiler: Its the company I work at now) and the guy told me to come if I had time to chat a little. So we chatted bla bla bla and he told me I could work there. So the next day I went to my ex boss and told him that I had a new job. I shouldnt have to mention he was completely shocked right? :D haha he didnt believe me at first but then he did after some time. So I worked there for one more month but only because I was a nice guy and then I went to the new awesome company.
At the new awesome company I had 2 weeks probation time. So I did my best and in the end I git the job :) I am still working there. Its been 9 months since that happened and I just love my bosses, the team and I love going to work!
Thats my story :D8 -
Gotta do this at my office, especially at the cube where the "New Guy" in the team sits!
--Evil Laughs--4 -
University dorm admin story:
One guy had a problem with his ethernet cable. He broke RJ45 and wanted new one, so he asked on dorms group what to do. He was pointed to admin. So he grabbed a knife, cut the cable as close to wall as he could and walked with it to the admin guy. He said that he had problem with his cable and want new RJ45, so admin applied it on the both sides. Then he asked how to plug it back to the wall :D21 -
I am the new girl. While I’ve been at this company for two years, I’ve only been in my new position a little over a month. I haven’t quite figured out if I am sysadmin or devops yet. It’s a bit all over the place. I am building a new thing at work. I build different types servers and set them on fire frequently as a hobby. This one is a stack I haven’t built before. It wasn’t working. I eventually got to the point where I told the other guy maybe I should consider resigning, I’m not qualified for this job. He said... Finally... now you’re going to figure it out and fix it. The next day, I did find what I kept overlooking and made it work. I guess this is life now.5
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A few years back we hired a new guy for our sales department. He worked with us for less than a week and seemed pretty normal.
Until one day he came into my office sat reeeeally close to me and actually whispered into my ear: "last night around midnight i was a bit hungry so i got up and fried some sausages".
Then he looked at me with the weirdest grin ever and just sat there for like 15 seconds not moving a muscle.
😳9 -
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER trust a backup that wasn't made by you!!!
F*ck!
Background: I leave my job last year, so my "boss" replace me with a junior support guy instead of a sys admin.
Few months later a client contract me directly because the support guy almost destroyed the server.
The server remain failing, so we buy a new server. Today the old server does not boot anymore. So we was importing the data base backup to the new server and the backup doesn't work!
The client lost almost a month of data! Now I'm the bad guy who doesn't backup properly.
F*ck!9 -
Probably isn't a righteous rant... But there's a new guy who shakes his leg... All day... Makes my screen wobble... All day... Trying to think about about my code... But thoughts being shaken to the floor... All. Goddamn. Day.
*sigh*20 -
A new sales guy in a startup I used to work at was using Internet Explorer. I told him why are you using IE, it's a shitty browser and how frontend devs suffer to support it.
Before I continued, he interrupted me saying that he used to be the regional head of sales team in Microsoft and started defending IE.
I was like Oookaaayy.
......he left the company a week or two later7 -
The new guy told me he doesn't want to make the code future proof as it's not agile.... Congrats goes to the management for successfully hiring as asshole...5
-
As part of my internship, I worked in the IT dept of a big elevator company. The company mostly has designers (brickscad) and sellers (apart from the workers with which I had nothing to do).
So here I am 18y.o. getting my first iTop ticket which said "Network doesn't work, I can't do my job"
So I'm thinking I should call the guy and go through the standards.
Guy: Yes?
Me: Hello, I'm from the IT dept and I am assigned to your problem so how about we go through it?
Guy: Yea yea, come over already I can't do my fucking job! This piece of shit computer always giving me shit like I told you a month ago.
Me: I wouldn't know sir, I started working here this month so it must've been someone else from the dept.
Guy: No it was you, I remember your voice.
Me: But sir, I wasn't working here last month. Please, can we go over your issue?
Guy whispering: Great I got the fucking new guy!
Guy: Ok my issue is, I have no fucking network connection and without that I can't do fucking job now can I?
Me trying to stay calm: Ok sir, do you see the computer icon in the bottom right corner of the screen? Does it have a red 'X' on it?
Guy: Yea it does. It means I have no network connection.
Me: You're right sir, it appears that for some reason you have no connection. Is the ethernet plugged in the second port? The one at the bottom of your tower?
Guy: Yea it is, what do you take me for? A fucking amateur? I'm in this company 13 years now!
Me: Ok sir, I'm sorry but you have to check just to make sure.
Guy exhales: Ok new guy I'll hummor you.
Guy after a while: You IT people always think you know it all! It's as I said! The ethernet cable is in the top port.
Me: But.... sir... The ethernet must be in the bottom one for the network to work.
He proceeds to hand up on me.
iTop-->Ticket #5647---> Right click--->Mark as resolved----> Solution: he stopped being a blind stupid piece of trash.---> Send.
After a couple of minutes The system admin bursts into uncontrollable laughter.4 -
Therapy session #5
Subject: printers
I work in IT at this big company which consists of 4 office buildings
(one of them being 5 floors)
So, said company decides to replace all the printers with new ones. We're talking EVERY FUCKING PRINTER. IN TWO FUCKING DAYS!
And the best part? The other 3 members of the dept are occupied in testing new terminals for the production workers.
So here I am, trying to figure a way to make this happen in 2 days, when the new intern comes in.
New guy: Hey, I saw your assigned iTop ticket and thought I could help.
Me: Its fine man, I got it covered, thanks.
New guy: I'm telling you I got a pretty good idea.
Me thinking I can't escape this: Ok, shoot.
New guy: Go to HR and ask them a budget to buy and place just one huge switch in every building that will have
everything on it. (atm there is one switch at every floor.)
Me:......
New guy: Pretty good idea huh?
Me: Oh, you mean you're serious?
New guy: Of course I'm serious! That's what you're supposed to do if you need a new piece of equipment so that the
company runs flawlessly.
Me: Ok, I'll consider it, thanks.
New guy:Don't be an idiot! What's to consider? It's a bulletproof plan.
At that point I brought up a 20 page document and hit print 40 copies of it.
Now, the new guy didn't know shit and being in a difficult period, the department leader put him on chore duty (picking up documents from the printer, answering telephones etc).
Me: Go fetch the papers, sort them out and deliver them to each department (A task I was gonna do myself cause I don't like abusing
others no matter if that's their job in the first place).
So with the new guy gone, I figured I just had to work overtime and started writing down IPs and witch printer answers in what department.
All was good and with about 2-3 more hours each day, I completed the task and we informed everyone that they could use their new printers.
And all hell broke loose. The one building that consists of 5 floors is the home of our beloved salesmen (the most arrogant, rude and know-it-all
assholes in all the company). Whoever installed the switches, when the building was given access to house workstations, mixed them up and i.e. the
first floor PCs were connected to the second floor switch. So, not knowing that, I connected the first floor printers to the first floor switch.....Aaaaand you got the general idea.
There was chaos. Papers mixed up, departments, not getting their orders. Complete chaos. And in the middle of it, me.
I was called in head of the department's office, yesterday after the completion of the task and the ruckus that followed it
and asked to explain my actions. The server/system admin (his brother) comes in and says it's his fault and that's the way it is since that building opened up (about 5 years now), so I'm in the clear (I didn't do anything wrong anyways but it was hard to prove it if he haven't spoken).
I just finished fixing the last one, and I'm ready to go home in one hour or so.
The new guy came at me half an hour ago and said that he will go to HR and report me for abusing his position and making him run everywhere with useless documents and say that I used bad language. Now he's delivering documents again. I didn't do it but I'm sure that when the new guy ran to the printer, I saw the system admin blinking.
It's nice to have the favour of the Admin.14 -
New guy at work asks me for a code review. 16 lines added, and I have 4 comments, all about readability. Only the major stuff because I went easy on him. I even ignored a missing semicolon.
Guy comes to me and explains that code review is about if code works, not what it should look like. "You want me to write it your way, and we'll have endless arguments if that's how you do code reviews. But I'll do your requested changes." Reduces his entire code to two lines, which make a lot more sense.
Later, I ask him why he used "void 0" anyway. I was wondering if he's thinking of security aspects or if there's another reason. His answer: "because it looks cool and nobody else does it".1 -
This guy is supposed to be a "spring framework guru"
Yo Mr. Guru, this is not how you write a pom file especially when you are teaching someone who probably is new to programming. Just think if the new guy/girl goes on to write such xml files in the future. What are you even trying to do man.5 -
My company decided to hire a new director at the electronics shop. There are certain hours when we have a lot of clients. So the guy had to man a cash register.
Client: I need 2 kilo resistors
The client obviously needed resistors of two kiloohms.
The director rushed out to the warehouse and came back with 2 kilograms of resistors to the gram
How can someone be so retarded! ¿4 -
We recently got a new trainee (Not sure if its correct germans correct me i mean "Praktikant"). This guy studied computer Engineering and canceld his studies to work as a developer. So this guy is working on a typo 3 Page for a Client and asks me for help because He got a follding error. Im in the last year of My studies btw. He sends me very Bad formatted HTML template file. I quickly correct the formatting and fix the 3 open Tags That He forogt to Close. send it back to him and walk to his workplace to See him integrate it to his own code again. He Double clicks the HTML file an Google Chrome opens. He then looks at me and says and Where is the code. I say to him That he just opened the HTML file with his Browser. And He responds with yes but i wanted to See the code Not this.
Im done for today 😑😑11 -
First day on new job. Hardware guy comes to my office, says "Hi, here is your computer" (no eye contact) and leaves a pile of boxes on the floor.
A few hours later I finished building the computer from scratch lol.
Not sure if it was some kind of test or just him being weird 😂3 -
The stars have aligned,
The gods have awoken,
All the fortunes cookies I've consumed have given me fortune,
Helping the old lady cross the road gave me good karma.
I was supposed to start on an old project we had laying around today, and we had a new intern start this week.
Show up at work and i see a push from the new guy. "Refactoring". I wasn't in the office yesterday and no colleague informed me about this. Oh dear.
With freight I pull, not knowing what to expect.
BOI WAS I SURPRISED
He did one heck of a good job. Gonna buy him donuts later.2 -
Hi I am new here!
My friend told me that devRant has a great community, he told me to post here and see what happens...14 -
I developed a simple scholarship management system for my school using Laravel, MySQL, jQuery and Bootstrap, I did it for free since college students from my country have to pay social service to get their degrees. Everyone in the scholarships department seemed to be really happy with my work and they evaluated my social service with 10/10, but yesterday they asked for one last favor: to go talk to the new social service guy who'll be supposed to maintain my project, a mid 30's dude who was really pissed off from the beginning because he wasn't even able to deploy the project, he wasn't even able to clone the project from Github. Ok, so I tried to explain to him the tools I used and how the project was structured, but everything I said seemed to piss him even more, so I stopped and had a chat like:
Me: "Look man, do you know or at least have basic concepts of PHP and MVC frameworks?"
Guy: "Yes, but I'm a project manager, not just –despectively– any programmer, and you didn't write proper documentation, it's impossible to deploy your project with the manual you wrote, I cannot work like this".
*We go to their computer and I clone and setup the project in 3 minutes.
Guy: "Yes, but I still don't know how the project works, I need everything documented. If I have to change something, I don't know where to look.
Me: "Man, that's why asked you about knowing PHP MVC frameworks".
Guy: "I cannot work like this, nothing is documented, I don't even know what's that software you're using *points at Sublime Text*. Or tell me, can you arrive at a place where they expect you to work with something you don't know and they have no documentation?"
*At this point he was really pissed
Me: "Well... Dealing with non-documented software is what I do for a living"
Guy: "I don't know what companies you've worked for, probably not big ones..."
Me: "Well, I actually work for *I mention one of the biggest music apps in the country*"
*Guy ironically laughs
When I gave my feedback to the lady in charge of the department, I told her that this guy was really pissed off at how things were done and that I wasn't so sure of him being capable of maintaining the system. She told me not to worry, that the guy became a well known asshole in the office only after a few days, and that she'll probably have to find something else for him to do. It'd be hilarious if this guy ends up capturing scholarships in the system I made.4 -
Some how somebody managed to fill our repo with the following branches:
Origin/master
Origin/origin/master
Origin/origin/origin/master
Origin/origin/origin/origin/master10 -
!!office drama
I haven't been around much in recent weeks. Due to family illness, christmas shopping, dealing with estranged parents, and brooding over the foregoing, I haven't had a lot of time or energy left to myself.
tl;dr: The CTO ("API Guy") is ostensibly getting fired, and I might be taking over his job. I don't know if I should accept, try to stave this off, or simply flee.
------
Anyone who has been following my recent rants knows that API Guy is my boss, and he often writes terrible code. It's solid and unbreakable, but reading it is a *nightmare.* One of our applications is half the length of Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, and it's difficult to tell what code is live and what amounts to ancient, still-active landmines. This is one application; we have several, most of which I've never even looked at.
Ostensibly the code is so terrible because the company grew extremely quickly, and API Guy needed to cram in lots of unexpected / planned-against features. From what I can see, that seems about right, but I haven't checked timeframes [because that's a lot of work!].
Here's a brief rundown of the situation.
- API Guy co-founded the company with the CEO.
- CEO and API Guy have been friends for a long time.
- CEO belives the company will fail with API Guy as head of tech.
- They could just be testing me; I have zero way of knowing. API Guy seems totally oblivious, and CEO seems sincere, so this feels pretty doubtful.
- CEO likes pushing people around. CEO believes he can push me around. API Guy doesn't budge. (I probably won't, either, except to change task priorities.)
- API Guy's code is huge and awful, but functional.
- API Guy is trying to clean up the mess; CEO doesn't understand (maybe doesn't care).
- Literally nobody else knows how the code works.
- Apart from API Guy and myself, the entire company is extroverted sales people.
- None of these sales people particularly like me.
- Sales people sell and sell and sell without asking development if they can pull enough magic features out of their hat to meet the arbitrary saleslines. (because the answer is usually no)
- If I accept, I would be the sole developer (at first) and responsible for someone else's mountain of nightmarish code, and still responsible for layering on new features at the same pace as he. Pay raise likely, but not guaranteed.
- My getting the position is contingent upon the CEO and the investors, meaning it's by no means guaranteed.
- If I don't accept, likely API Guy will be replaced with someone else of unknown ability, who doesn't know the code, and whom I must answer to regardless. Potentially OK, potentially a monumental disaster.
Honestly, it feels like I'm going to be screwed no matter what course I choose.
Perhaps accepting is slightly better?
The best would be to assume the position of CTO and keep API Guy around -- but that would feel like an insult to him. I doubt he'd be okay with it. But maybe. Who knows? I doubt the CEO would seriously consider that anyway.
I feel like a lamb between a dim, angry rhino, and an oblivious one.23 -
New dev couldn't get his laptop set up and screens working. After a day struggling I walked over and recommend he plug in the power cord......3
-
I’m so happy right now, I love doing this. Now just gotta wait for the 10Gbit switch so I can start working on the 150TB storage server solutionrant screw the old network guy the new network guy he left all ports open in the gateway ubiquti god i hate him so much unifi ubnt21
-
The "new guy" just merged master into a release branch.
The build server started bumping versions on the release branch and build "corrupted" installers.
Another developer had to spend a whole day trying to remove all the invalid commits.14 -
- Windows 10 update screws my laptop (obviously ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).
- Recovery partition - corrupted
- BIOS - inaccessible (pretty strange).
- Customer support guy says I'd have to buy a new recovery image.
- When I ask if I can wipe the disk and downgrade to 7 he says, the laptop is not designed for 7 & it's impossible to downgrade.
Well, fuck the warranty!!! I took out the disk, plugged it into my PC, wiped it fucking clean and installed Windows 7.
Haven't felt better......fuck those stupid cunts!!!!15 -
Started working on a new project. One test failed, after unsuccessful tries to fix it, I ask the team lead for advice and help.
The guy takes a look and just deletes the test and says "There, done!"1 -
It has now officially been 3 days and I haven't fully configured softwares on my new "windows" laptop( errors that takes google's 3rd page to solve😊) ... Because... "This guy fucks"8
-
My boss looks unbelievably similar to a character from the Simpsons.
We have a new guy start, he wants to show his wife how uncanny the resemblance is. So he sends her a picture of him... Except he sent it to our boss by accident, this was his first day on the Job.8 -
I can't figure out what's worst in the new system we got handed over from a client:
1. that they have an every-minute-cron-job with "sudo chmod -R /var 777"
2. that the backup of their database haven't worked since 2014 because the S3 bucket is full
3. It's written in PHP, by one guy, who didn't knew PHP when he started work on it. (All MYSQL calls are String-concats, etc)3 -
Our head IT guy is over 70 years old. Our other IT guy is in his twenties. They've just hired another guy. New guy has anime characters on his car windows.
I'm made to use IE 10. Our content filter proxy is in the US. We are in the U.K. Web browsing is not fast even though we have 100Mb up and down.
I'm beginning to suspect life is a cruel joke.7 -
Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!
I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.19 -
"We need this feature live today. But first there are these 5-10 tasks to do first. That won't take very long" Says the guy who knows nothing about code. Now they judge my performance by lines of code written per day haha. Morons. Feature doesn't get pushed because been working on new tasks all day. Say I'm leaving after 8 hrs. Start getting push back about leaving after 8 hrs. I really don't care anymore. If i get fired at least i can collect unemployment while looking for new job. Drive for Uber and make just as much as I do now.
My care has reached 0% i just need to get through holidays. I'll be in New company by February.11 -
New project in C++. I don't know C++ but very good at C and Java so not worried.
New guy joins us. Gets stuck on how to concatenate a string. No big deal since he is new to the language too and doesn't have a C background. I offer to help and he goes on a 10 min rant about how C and C++ are different and I don't know what I'm talking about.
Wait until he's done. Tell him just to do strcat(possibly a better way but I'm literally in day 2 of my C++ skills, but I knew it would work). He mumbles how is not going to work as he types like he's going to shove it in my face when it fails.
It was like a beautiful geeky mic drop when it worked perfectly.5 -
Man, this guy is fking useless.
I'm learning something new and ask him for help; he both mishears and confuses topics, so his explanations only ever make things worse. 😧6 -
I’ve started the process of setting up the new network at work. We got a 1Gbit fibre connection.
Plan was simple, move all cables from old switch to new switch. I wish it was that easy.
The imbecile of an IT Guy at work has setup everything so complex and unnecessary stupid that I’m baffled.
We got 5 older MacPros, all running MacOS Server, but they only have one service running on them.
Then we got 2x xserve raid where there’s mounted some external NAS enclosures and another mac. Both xserve raid has to be running and connected to the main macpro who’s combining all this to a few different volumes.
Everything got a static public IP (we got a /24 block), even the workstations. Only thing that doesn’t get one ip pr machine is the guest network.
The firewall is basically set to have all ports open, allowing for easy sniffing of what services we’re running.
The “dmz” is just a /29 of our ip range, no firewall rules so the servers in the dmz can access everything in our network.
Back to the xserve, it’s accessible from the outside so employees can work from home, even though no one does it. I asked our IT guy why he hadn’t setup a VPN, his explanation was first that he didn’t manage to set it up, then he said vpn is something hackers use to hide who they are.
I’m baffled by this imbecile of an IT guy, one problem is he only works there 25% of the time because of some health issues. So when one of the NAS enclosures didn’t mount after a power outage, he wasn’t at work, and took the whole day to reply to my messages about logins to the xserve.
I can’t wait till I get my order from fs.com with new patching equipment and tonnes of cables, and once I can merge all storage devices into one large SAN. It’ll be such a good work experience.8 -
Screw the German Telekom!
I recently got a new home without internet so naturally, I went to an isp, Telekom. I went there a few weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised by the personal and the general competence. He told me they would send a technician to check my cable. So I thought great and went home. 1 A week passes, nobody shows up. I then went back to the shop and asked(someone different). He basically told me that such a service must be specifically asked for and a contract has to be signed. I then told
him his colleague told me no such thing, and that the technician should have checked up on my connection last week. He excuses him self and I signed the thingy.
Now you would imagine that this would have worked.
but.
NOOOoooo.
A week came and went and I got pissed. So I went back to the shop the guy from the first try was there. I Asked what happened, he types in his Computer. and. and. and. nothing. Apparently, the previous guy forgot, fucking forgot, to enter my request to their bloody System.
Now I asked if I can Just become a customer.
Guy: Sure, what speed is available in your region?
Me: I don't know...
Guy: Let me check
/Type/ /Type/
Guy: I can't see your speed the technician should have checked.
Me: Um, so, can he check?
Guy: Clearly you don't know what you want
Me:???
Guy:*leaves table*
(shorten but you get the Idea)
At this point, I really wanted to change isp so I went to Vodafone.
Lady comes up to me asks me a bunch of stuff and I explain I would want to change my phone, internet, tv, mobile and my friends mobile(I lost a bet once ^~^) to Vodafone.
What happened next I can't really explain, but she talked to her boss and "cheated" (how she calls it) on Vodafone and got me an AMAZING deal it is cheaper than Telekoms has waay more mobile data, faster Internet and I got a new phone :D.
And guess what she could fucking check, fucking check from here Computer my max internet speed.
I can only hope that the lady got a big fat commission for what she has done.6 -
That moment when you listen to your boss' lies to a client when presenting a new product/feature.
I am like: damn, this guy is a talented actor!3 -
In a new building installation in South Africa. My server cabinet UPS keeps going off. I go to the electrical panel.
Electrician has a drill gun going off with a long cord leading out of the room.
To trace power lines, another worker plugs the gun in to various outlets while the guy flips random breakers until the gun turns off.
Doh.4 -
So today I saw this guy:
long size = long.MaxValue;
//method that may or may not set
//size
int[] array = new int[size];
Apparently we are processing blu-ray movies in place in memory.7 -
We have 1 guy managing everything. He develop our CMS, customers email client, manage our network, servers, domains (our own domain servers), billing system, SSL certificates... In short: everything (as well as bugs). The entire company relies on 1 guy, pretty much.
Brings the phrase "all for one, and one for all" to a whole new meaning.17 -
"Hey guys, i don't have any clients on the website"
"Yup the new guy drop the database"
Goodbye Holydays ...15 -
Worst: The guy gave me 5 minutes to code a given assignment on paper. I did all the logic and told him I was missing a function whose name I would just Google. He told me I can't always Google. Well... I won't be coding on paper either.
Best: I was given the assignment to clone a part of a production site. Assignment was intended for 3 days and I was given 5 hours. Completition wasn't important, only structure and coding style counted. I cloned everything and even added new features.
You just can't always be in the zone. I hope more interviewers would take that into account and design better questions.4 -
New guy (good friend) is on the line with me shadowing. OMFG THESE PEOPLE HAVE HEAVY ACCENTS. Only reason I can hear them is my babysitter has a heavy Vietnamese accent as well, so I'm used to it, but HOLY CRUD this is painful. I feel bad for my newest teammate30
-
Hello everyone, this is my rant.
I work in a start-up as an Android developer and we were looking for our first iOS developer.
After two months searching, some guy was finally hired last week.
My boss already told me he didn't have my programming level, but we needed him because he had experience as community manager and good Photoshop skills, and right now we need a profile like that in our company.
Today the new guy asked me what are setters and getters.
How fucked is my company? Is there hope for us?9 -
Java : He is the topper who is usually mocked, but still everyone seeks his help on the day before exams. He tops the class no matter where he is.
C : He was once the coolest guy in the class with all the new gadgets but now uses outdated gadgets.
C++ : The guy who comes 2nd and is also loved by everyone. He is very competitive.
R : She has everything readymade from food to tiffins.
JavaScript: Tries to be in the cool gang but she is someone to whom nobody talks.
CSS: The most beautiful girl in the class and a make-up expert. Also the only friend of JavaScript.
Python: She will soon top the class.
C# : Is she still part of the class!!?25 -
The guy who was apparently teaching me. "Do you Google? Use Google, it's the best way to learn new tricks"
Opens browser, types google.com in the browser (firefox) searchbar and then opens Google homepage and then searches for content.18 -
So I was preparing for my project assessment at school when some business guy walks up to me asking if we were students here and if we were interested in doing "internet things" for his new business..3
-
My boss just brought these to the office some time ago.
We have this new PM who's actually a really cool guy, and earlier we were eating a watermelon next to these pillows.
All of the sudden, he rearranges them to look like in the picture, presses one of them with his hand and says "bloop!".
Laughed my friggin' ass off! 😂😂😂18 -
My company just got a new developer to work on a legacy PHP app.
My boss was boasting about how this guy has more years of professional experience than me ( I have 9 months of experience and he has been working for 4 years on PHP).
Today was one week since he started and I had him set up a REST API, I had to explain to him what json_encode does and how http requests work.6 -
I worked at a company that was recently acquired by another one based in Poland. On my last day at work, the CEO flew out from Kraków to meet all of us personally and treated us to dinner. Soon after, we were all inducted into their hiring process, and now I'm currently waiting for my first project at the new company 😊 brilliant guy, can't wait to know him and the team better!3
-
#prank
New guy on the team, learning WPF.
He forgot to lock his computer when fetching coffee. I added a transform group in the main window and checked it in to Git. Locked the computer.
He comes back, furious at his computer for turning the application upside down.
Next two hours he was rebooting, flipping the screen, stressing, googling until I finally had to confess.
He uttered a strange sound of short burst of laughter concealed in a relief of not going insane.
It was a good day.
His pull request was rejected.2 -
This guy who earns 20% more than me wrote a method to check which string of 2 is lexicographically smaller.
public boolean isSmaller(String s1, String s2) {
String [] temp = new String[2];
temp[0] = s1;
temp[1] = s2;
Collections.sort(temp);
if (temp[0].equalsIgnoreCase(s1)) {
return true;
}
else {
return false;
}
}7 -
Today i find new friends at school they are older but hell yeah they are programmers sysadmins and other geeks hell yeah im only guy in first class from that geek group woow.
Finally geek friends and yeah friends from devRant
And yeah its on high school few months in there and found teacher with those cool guys teacher is cool too ;)5 -
So our university website was recently refurbished with new design. But fucking hell it's bad. Not only the whole website is full of bugs, the design choices are extremely poor.
Sometimes, when I open a course page, it opens a modal with undefined as it's title. And I have to click close button ten times to close the modal.
I can't even blame university. The guy was a former student and Uni probably trusted him. What a retard!5 -
In the next 40 years devRant will be non-existential because developers wont be there anymore, you know why?
AI takes over the world.. writes its own code and build new products.
Suck it.
Signing off
- Elon Musk
(personally, I love this guy)27 -
So my boss hired this new guy who's supposed to help us with a bunch of architectural design stuff.
We spoke about developer jokes and I jokingly said I know a good one.
Me: "Why do Java developers wear glasses?" -expecting a blow to the head-
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Dude, seriously? You don't know that one?"
Him: "Nope"
Me: "Because they can't C# !"
Him: *laughing his ass off*
I think the martians are finally here. -
So...new intern , table paired to mine , get my hopes up that it's hopefully not another stuck up uni kiddo , hopes get ruined . He asked me my name and what I do , when I told him I do product security his reaction was 'oh so you're not a dev ?' . Go.eat.shit.and.choke.with.those.alienware.headphones. he didn't even listen to what I had to say about that , just put on his headphones and ignored me . Prick.16
-
When you're training a new guy who thinks hes better than you and completely overwrites all the code you've been working on because he thinks UX designed it wrong and it should look "correct". Thats not how corporate business works buddy...2
-
Not learning data structures and algorithms. Not learning programming languages. Actually not learning anything to answer during a job interview.
I am more of a learn-while-you-do kind of guy. I never learn anything, instead just do it. Interviewers think I am useless because I know nothing. But I can get a job done, any kind of job done. I have no learning period, I can start working from first day in a all new language, in a all new IDE, in a all new OS.
I know nothing, and I learn nothing. I am a problem solver. You got a problem, I can solve it.6 -
Sunday afternoon extra work..
New guy: what do you do?
Me: backend, mainly
New guy: c#?
Me: yeah, but not just..
New guy: so you're good at it?
Me: I'm a fucking proctologist
Awkward silence, followed by nerdy giggling -
A new producer started to pick up where the previous guy had rage quit. He looked at our sprint plan and announced it.
"According to this schedule, by these estimates, to hit our goal we have to somehow all work 27 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next month."2 -
!rant
Last night I had a minor hiccup with a iOS/Android CI service I absolutely love (BuddyBuild), so naturally I contact their support to address the issue and ask about potential new plans. A couple minutes later I find out I'm talking with the CEO! Turns out he's a really nice and receptive guy who cares a lot about their service!
How cool is that!? It was nice to tell him how much I've enjoyed their product and about the headache it's saved me!3 -
Never worked before so I'll talk about one of the former staff at my school.
This guy worked as IT and did some teaching in the high school. Early last year, he suddenly disappears for no reason.
Now, I'm going to go in order of what we (the students) found out, not, chronological order.
Firstly, turns out that in class he would make comments about female students. Nothing explicit, just kinda strange. I forget the examples I heard but think like the overly friendly old guy. Those types of comments from a 40-something IT guy. (Some female students knew about this for a long while but I only heard about it after the investigation)
Next, rumor got out that they found some stuff on his computer. I don't know how, but it turned out to be accurate, and we were accurate at the follow-up assumption that it was porn.
After that, the school made an announcement that we had been arrested. Up until then, we just assumed he had been sacked. He was weird sure, but we didn't think criminal.
Some other students looked into the police records, and it turns out this guy had been arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography.
Pretty sick right? Its worth pointing out now that our school has Pre-K through 12th grade students.
I gained a new level of respect for my female classmates after that. I didn't even know that was going on, really wish I could have helped out.3 -
So here is what happens. I have new guy in the office. He thinks he is a big shot or something. Our office time is 9 to 6, but no one comes in at that time.
This guy, he comes at 10:30 and I come at 11. I have been working as a senior dev for 2.5 years now and he is a fresher who joined as a manager which I am still wondering why.
And he tells me you are late and I inform the CEO about this.
One of these days I will tell him that brother the day you show the same commitment I have shown to the company or anything close to it, we will talk.
Waiting for the exact day.5 -
I have invited a new person to devrant! He is in the programming sub-team on my school's robotics team.
He uses Linux mint.. and I hate him for it. But aside from that, he seems like a cool guy.
As always, feel free to downvote the crap out of him if he starts messing around here.
Anyways, everyone welcome @hyperlisk !26 -
PM: "so I need you to deploy this new application to some new server. The deadline is in 2 days"
Me: "yeah I can do that, is the application ready and has been tested? Have the servers been set up properly by the IT guy?"
PM: "yep, all is set up and good"
Couple of hours later I try locating the server, only to find it didn't exist.
Me: "the server you mentioned earlier, is doesn't appear to exist?"
PM: "it definitely does, IT guy said he set it all up"
I dig around a little more, but this server definitely doesn't exist. The IT guy was on holiday for a week, so we had to wait for him to get back; delaying the release. On the morning the IT guy got back,
PM: " I though you said you set up that server for the application, we've had to delay it now!"
IT: "I just set it up this morning. Like I said in the email to you before I Ieft, I will have to do it first thing when I get back after holiday"
Turns out the PM had asked the IT guy to spin up the server, but never bothered to read his response. Assuming it was done he told the client he'd have it deployed in a couple of days.
The application was deployed successfully later that day, but not before the PM blamed us two for its delay.1 -
I was drunk at a party and so was this guy, that I knew from scouting and who knew that I was capable of programming, even tho he very clearly disagreed with my choice in language.
We started talking about this new system that we (all scouts in Denmark) have to use and he told me how his work was affected by the fact that this systems API is the purest of shit.
He told me that he would really like someone to help him with his work, cause right now he was alone. They were looking for someone new, but for some reason the boss wanted a new guy to have 5 years of experience in Java... Which they don't use.
So he got my information and would put in a good word for me -
So there is this really cute guy in my class and he recently started to learn coding. Since I am 'the computer guy' in school, of course he got to me and asked for help. I introduced him to C# and for the next two weeks helped him learn and understand the language. It was so neat and he was so cute, doing all the mistakes I did too (1+1=11, that kind of stuff)
Now he informed me today that he switched to Java. Of all the languages, Java!! Guess I'll need to search for a new Padawan, fml6 -
Really loving the instant legacy code being added to our new project by devs who think they are too good to follow our peer review process, yum... today I found out that there are two different implementations of an API endpoint that does the same thing running in prod, in two different places, because the guy who wrote the second one wasn't aware that the first one existed and didn't let a second developer look at it before he pushed it to master.7
-
Today our school arranged a presentation about privacy on the internet. The guy who did the presentation featured DuckDuckGo, which I already use. He said Google collects data, which can be unsafe and DuckDuckGo doesn't. No new information really, but here it comes.
While discussing a different topic, someone asked a question, and the guy answered it. Then he said: "If you want more information on this, you should Google it."
Like dude, how serious do you take this subject? He even said he has a Facebook account and that he rarely changes his passwords himself.8 -
I cant express how outraged this makes me feel.
Me to my PM months ago (when I started) "we should upgrade the versions of node and angular when I do the tests (because yes, no tests at all)
Boss:"why? No no"
Our version of node 0.10.40 has no support any longer. But hey, I'm leaving that role :-) good luck new guy if new guy comes....3 -
New guy started today. Nobody knew this. CPO forgot. There was no computer available. He was sent home after an hour of waiting in reception.12
-
That feeling when you're on Facebook or Social Media and you see companies promoting their new website thanking and congratulating the guy who designed and developed their website and you see it was made with with wix, or a free WordPress template.
HOLD MY REDBULL, YOU AINT NO FUCKING DESIGNER OR DEVELOPER —YOU DRAGGED AND DROPPED, LIKE YOU WERE AS A BABY. (😂) -
So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".
Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.
Can comeone please fire this guy?1 -
So, just started my new job (stoked btw). At the last interview - boss: what kind of OS do you work on?
Me: I'm a simple guy who uses windows and notepad++
First day at work - get a brand spankin' new macbook and endure the most unproductive day ever...19 -
They hired a new person to come and help put with the project. This guy graduated a freaking year ago. Common guys wtf?!
Saying he is a full stack developer but unable to get a database running :’)4 -
You know what kind of devs I hate?
- The "Oh I never worked with it so its shit"
- The "I dont wanna learn something new"
- The "You can use JavaScript for this and everything else"
- The Pro ++ Ultra Dev who never heard of modulization and layering
- The hard coded values guy12 -
OK I can understand he his not a technical guy but what kind of answer did he expect from me on "what could go wrong while you create the new server on AWS?", I had no idea what to say so I whent with "a meteorite could fall on the amazon building"2
-
So I am assigned to a new team to take over the leading position because the guy who did it up till now quit. And there is this guy who today seriously shared his screen with my boss and the rest of the team to point out that I formatted something wrong...
Realy it was something like
super.doFunctionA().thenFunctionB() instead of putting it like
super
.functionA()
.functionB()
He said he wanted to call me out early to avoid spreading of this "wrong formatting"
He wants to start a war? This fuckhead can have it!
Soon I will be the one who writes his tasks... hf9 -
Unsavy guy calls: hey, my computer don't start.
*some testing over phone
Me: Okey it's probably the psu, give me the model so that I can get you a new one.
Him: okey, let me get a flashlight.
Me: why?
Him: It's dark here. The power is out.
Me: ... -
well, i guess ill make some new years resolutions…
- finish dogecrypt. ive barely done squat and i dont even remember the name of the guy i was working with
- finish https://translationiteration.com (ITS UGLY!!!) if anyone wants to collab on some css, im open
- make an android game that’s FUN. something that’s addictive too.
- make something PROFITABLE. i want money.8 -
class Life extends Death{
public static void main(String...args){
Guy me = new Guy();
me.born();
GirlFriend gf = new GirlFriend();
me.setGirlFriend(gf);
me.getMarried();
me.haveSon();
me.die();
}
}
------- Exception on line 5: NullPointerException, girlfriend cannot be null ---
Daaamnn6 -
Hey new guy here!
@dfox and @trogus first thank you for this platform that helped gather this community. Second any news about new podcast episodes? I was really enjoying it!3 -
It's a job description for an entry level Software Developer role at Apple.
Basically they want
- A Front end dev
- A back end dev
- An iOS expert
- A Gimp/photoshop designer
- A streaming data expert
- An Oracle/Teradata expert
- A Kafka expert ( Not shown in the picture)
And on top of that the guy should be able to learn new tech faster.
Do they want a developer or a fucking terminator?6 -
I tried to contact 3 developers of restify (famous node js package) to tell them about my library anumargak (node js based router). I received the response from one guy finally who talked to other developers when I explained the advantages of switching to this new router.
They all were happy to switch and asked me to do necessary changes and raise a PR. I did it and then they stopped responding. -
New project arrises says teacher, my mate and I go to the meeting and it seems alright, guy says he'll pay us $1000 each.
A couple weeks later, "Sorry boys cant get that much money need to pay you $500 each".
Now we have basically finished the whole thing he sends an email and it says, "We got a great fund of $333 for both of you."
Lesson learnt never work in a community project if your looking for money.7 -
I was contracted for an app (side gig) and told I would have a team working with me. It’s been 5 months and no one else has been hired... At this point, it would probably take 5 more months to explain my shitty code to a new guy.
-
I got a project to "refactor" some shitty site. It was written in nativ php. The guy who wrote this is a moron.
The site is so unsecure that my dog could broke into it while barking at cats.
It's sooo unreadable and illogical.
Every time i look at the code i get sadder and sadder. And now i understand why so many people hate php..
**Jump in time**
After i planned the new logic. My boss told me i can't do any of this. Because they only need a new user lever..
Now i just stare at this pile of horse sh*t and rant about it.4 -
"Column is too short. Solution?
New table! Just JOIN later. And so we don't waste space, split the input across both tables.
Also make sure not to document this (lol or anything else) so that the next guy just *thinks* he got the entire booking number, when really he just got the first 12 chars."
- The Mother Fucker Before Me
I know there's a sucide prevention hotline, but is there a murder prevention hotline?2 -
This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...1 -
The guy Intel hired to come up with instruction mnemonics must be just letting his cat walk over the keyboard every time he needs a new idea.
cvttps2dq? sounds good! -
A coworker changed the application deployment process. He told all three of the other developers who need deployments, but not me. We sit six feet away from each other and I've run/managed deployments for a year longer than him.
His new process doesn't work and he's blaming the dev ops team for not following it. The new process clearly doesn't fit their workflow and never could have.
The lack of deployments have caused production issues and he still won't ping dev ops to remind them about the deployment because "it's not in the new workflow".
He's been painting dev ops as incompetent at the last three retrospectives without having ever personally reminded the deployment guy.
Ugggh. -
Started a new job a month ago. I’m the only real frontend developer here. I come from a company with 10+. Now i’m working with a old ux guy. Mr. UX teached me the usage of a styleguide. This styleguide is a fucking mess. The legacy code is a fucking mess. They way of working, up for improvement.
I have a dream...4 -
Used to be the intern in the company I work at...
Finally became a Jr software dev, I get to select the next intern...
That was 3 months ago, he has started and I get to bug fix all his stuff...
He's a nice guy tho -
We need a new Website for our school TV club. Ok..
I start to make a idea of site and give it to the guy, who said that we need a new site.
He liked the idea.
I started to make site.
*Few hours later*
The site is "ready" (Not fancy af but operates)
I go to the guy who want the site.
He said: "Why do you make the site? I setuped Wordpress for our site."
Fuck you. -
Was showing the new guy how to write a fairly simple database query with a couple of joins.
Spent 3 hours trying to figure out why it didn't work.
Finally discovered that I had randomly chosen one of the 3 records (out of a possible 15,000+) that had leading white space.
Ctrl-Z back to the first query I wrote (3 hours ago), and it works perfectly.
New guy learns a more valuable lesson than I originally intended. -
We hired a new developer and on his first day he starts nagging about our technical depts, our database and so on and so on, and we're all like, we know dude 😐
To make it worse, the guy eavesdrop on your conversation, interrupts you and tries to be a smart ass...
He doesn't know how our system works to begin with 🙄7 -
I worked really hard to make this girl my friend at work. We go for morning breaks around from 10:00 AM – 10:30 AM.
And then this new guy joined the company sitting close to me and we become friends. This new guy finds my girl friend really awesome and they are getting closer everyday and they are leaving me behind now and separates me with almost all the conversations during morning break meet.
Today, during the morning break. My girl friend said that I have changed and don't talk to her much like I used to. Way back when we met I really clearly told her that I have anxiety and social disorder so please bare with me and she told me that she will be there for me as a good friend.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm going to lose a good friend really soon.7 -
note: it is already dec. 23 in here
testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.
wtf1 -
#usr/bin/rant
I'm working on this super fun project in which we can combine the newest technologies, and some not so new but fun to use, we are doing it with docker, ASP.Net core, Angular2, and suddenly the system maintenance guy from the client sends us an email like:
- Just wondering which content management system are you going to use currently we are using WordPress, Orange and Django which ease a lot adding new features and sections
So the PM and me are frustrated and scared that we are going to be forced to use something awful just to please this guy.5 -
So it was the last hour on Friday evening right before closing. I was sitting in the office playing this new GTA game on PC. A new colleague (older 50+ senior female assistant of my boss) came by to say nice weekend and she saw my screen and asked what is that. So I told her it is called GTA and I use that software to analyze customer behavior. She was like "nice try dude, so why is that guy carrying a shotgun, you must have upset him dude"
-
I'm new guy in programming. Sometimes I do compare java with python and I have weird conclusion.
Python code is shorter but for me much more "logical" & easier to read is Java. Maybe it due to fact that I don't understand what is going on under hood so shorter code feels incomplete?15 -
Client: "documentation, oh you mean those grey texts the previous code guy wrote on the code files"
Me: I kinda need more than "grey texts on the code files" if you want me to actually fix the system and implement the new specs.
Client: oh you mean the Microsoft asp books
Me: It's a Laravel system sir, it's php not asp.net
Client: what are those?
Me:.................2 -
!dev
The universe is made of electrons, neutrons, Protons and morons..
You probably know that one but I still enjoy it..
Maybe this one is new to you:
2 guys walk into a bar.
P1: I’ll take a glass of H2O.
P2: I’ll take some H2O, too.
The second guy died..3 -
There is always that one guy.. who doesn't give a fuck about testing and thinks he's not responsible for them...
Le Guy: lemme just push ma new code maan
Jenkins: Unit Tests failed - pls fix
Le Guy to the one who cares about testing: hey fuck uu, ur stupid tests are failing... fix them its ur problem.
*sigh*7 -
What's the point of using Node.js for web development?
We got a new guy at the company who made a website in Node. His project is over 300Mb large and his code is fricking ugly. The website is a showcase for another company.
What the heck is wrong with him? I mean, dude, just use fucking PHP or simply just make a static website ffs. It would only be <200 Kb.
Don't use Node for this because it's trendy...12 -
!rant this is just a shoutout, how fucking happy I am. Clean code valued over fast but hacky push of features!
Backstory. I work for a startup. Long story short a guy with an idea needed a developer. I've worked for about a year without pay but now since we're live I get paid. Recently a new field of bussiness came up. I told tge guy with the idea (a.k.a. my boss) that we either could just "hack" the current code to just make it "fit" well kind of... Or refactor our main code base, as requirements where changing at least monthly and we just built on top of the monolith.
Don't get me wrong. It still isn't perfect. However I was able to refactor the main business logic for the last few days, as he understood, it's an investment into the future.
Good guy!
P.S. On another note: happiness or happyness? :O1 -
My Unix class
👨💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script
Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!3 -
Trend:
The Kiki
- idiots get out of there car and dance with the door open...
Me
- Meh. Ghost riding the whip is old news.
——
New Trend:
The Kiki fail
- people get out and either fail or get betrayed.
Me: now I’m on board.
Great examples seen so far...
1. Women get out dancing, drops her bag (on purpose) in dancing. A motorcycle comes along and steals her purse.
Me: Great. I hope they get away with it too. I like the criminals more than the idiot in this case.
2. Dude gets out and starts dancing. Driver speeds up. The guy holds on to the car telling him to “STOP!”. He stops, the guy goes head first through the window of the driver (its down) and I assume right on his head.
Me: mmmmm delicious7 -
When the “business guy” insisted on deploying new feature just for the sake of “looking good with the management”,
The guy literally said “so at least it looks like we’re making progress”2 -
I'm getting to the point where every time I encounter a new bug to fix I die a little inside. So tired of stuff not working and as soon as I get one thing fixed another blows up. Unresolved problems and open loops keep me awake all night. I sometimes want to switch careers but what else is there for me after more than 2 decades of this? I guess I could flip burgers and mow lawns. The burger flippers make about what I made in my last job and the guy who mows my lawn makes twice that much.4
-
Three days after I purchased iPhone XS, I had to install a new modem at home. The phone wouldn’t connect to the wifi network in the higher frequency band. The guy who came to install the modem dished out the theory that the phone must be too damn old to support it. That burn!
PS: it connected almost a couple of seconds later that. As if it was some kind of extra layer of authentication. Well played Apple.7 -
I just started my new job as web developer. I have to work on an already existant PHP project, made by a random guy before me.
His code is so horrible it gave me a headache. At 10am (job starts at 9am..)5 -
I was doing code reviews for some of the new Devs recently joined... One guy wrote his entire life history in the check in description... Like Why he took this approach, why interfaces are necessary in coding, when did he lost his virginity (I doubt he ever did), what's his pet name? - sadly no information related to his online banking... Shame really...
-
So, I am feeling low in life. I want to do so many things and not a single one is going as planned. On top of that Bitcoin has taken a plunge and my funds are stuck with a shitty exchange and I cannot withdraw till tomorrow.
Le a github issue appears and I am thinking what went wrong now. I had added a few new features to the app which would have broken the old configurations. So, I ask this guy to re-configure and test.
After about 2 hours I get a reply from the guy saying "Thanx for the great new features and for creating this great open source project!!!"
This made my day. And I am thinking Life's good. Life is so easy and we make it so difficult for us. The first thing I am doing after this review is write this rant. Now back to work.2 -
At one of my previous gigs, the IT director was just some guy that dated the bosses daughter. When she inherited the company he went from entry level data analyst to his new director position. IF he decided to show up to work at all it would be at just in time for lunch, and then he'd head out shortly after.
This guy would ask for an estimate on development and then start the timer when marketing started working on the project. This would often lead to us estimating something like 4 months on a project, and then waiting on marketing for 3 of those months, leaving us with 30 days left.1 -
My business partner and I started working at our new office and this other guy who was our client and provided us Internet connection for very cheap price, asked us if he can come and hangout sometimes
My partner : yeah man, any time !!
That guy : thanks man
Partner : But only when we are not that busy and don't bring any other person unless it's a woman.
Me : what !!
My partner : what ?4 -
Hi. I'm new here and liking it.
My rant today: Lofty business guy tells my small dev team that he knows exactly how everything should look and work because he knows exactly what users want out of the webapp experience.... goes on to tell us to make an editable, side-scrolling table that is also mobile-friendly, for users to manually input a ton of data.... -
The new guy just locked our server account (I was using it, thats why he couldn't login) and the IT guy from the client has already left...
I guess its and early day... -
One developer got a code and had to add new feature so he writes new function in similar way that arleady written one. Pass the code to next guy.
Next guy: why did u write this function like that?
First guy: Coz one was arleady written that way
N: but it was written wrong
F: ...so now 2 are written wrong (no he will not fix it 😂😂)1 -
Got a new guy. Having a dumb meeting. New guy is humblebragging. It is making the dumb meeting longer. I feel angry. Like Warren Moon must have felt in 1995. He is a PhD. That's probably why. Ugh.1
-
I work as a .Net consultant. Currently I am at a company that blocks all sociale media sites and sites that look like 'em. I don't mind the social media, but YouTube is also blocked and I need my dose of daily epic music world while developing. So, I set up a proxy on my server to easily bypass these blockades. Note: company policy says nothing about not being allowed certain websites, I always read this before using this trick.
Last week, a new guy joined the company and gets a desk just next to me. After a lot of looking at my screens and trying stuff he asks me for the entire office: "Hey how are you going on YouTube? It doesn't see to work for me.". 😫
The rest of the day, I had to explain to co-workers what a proxy is (they don't care about any tech they don't need...). And I had to explain to the pm that I was not hacking their network...
I'm not sure if I will be getting along with this new guy.... 😧1 -
Jesus fuckin' Christ. I own a webshop together with someone else. This guy is so fuckin' stupid. Yesterday I've deployed a release to our acceptance environment. I talked with him extensively about it. This morning I texted him to check out all the new stuff.
5 minutes later he texts.me back: I would suggest changing option x. Uuh... what option x? We don't have that any more.
Dude! What the fuck! We talked extensively about acceptance testing so you know it is in our acceptance environment, not production, asshole.
And then again, he asks for the link to the acceptance, which I gave him twice already.
Are you really that stupid??1 -
we just created a new web dev team (3 months) and boss came to us, looked what frontend guy has done already (one guy who joined us month ago) and said "this is not how i imagined our platform. It should be working next month". Well how about providing anything to let us know what do you want? Well Im fighting now to get some brief at least ;)
-
Here at the client site everyone uses Windows 7, since this is not an IT firm. They make jewellery. So I don't blame them.
The problem is their in house dev team are also forced to use Windows.
Today someone from their dev team was with me for a new project. Their senior guy sent us a mail mentioning that the project code is on AWS EC2 instance and we will have to SSH to see it.
I checked the code on my MacBook with SSH and copied it to local using SCP. The dev guy was seeing it in amazement. I asked, what's it?
He just asked, "You don't have to use PUTTY" 😮
I smirked 😏3 -
The Director of my employer's Firmware Engineering department, an older guy, sent out a department-wide email introducing a new hire. IN COMIC SANS.
Even though I am a new employee myself, I cannot let a disgrace like this pass unaddressed. So I politely and as respectfully as possible urged him not to use Comic Sans in a professional setting, and even offered rationale & alternatives.
He essentially responded, "No offense, but I'm gonna use whichever font I choose," but with that one simple sentence riddled with grammatical and spelling errors.
Shortly afterwards, he then sent out a mass email introducing me as a new hire. With my provided bio in a business-appropriate font, sandwiched between two hideous blocks of Comic Sans.
Honestly, how the fuck do people like this make it to a managerial position? >_>5 -
Having that teacher that just laughs at you and makes you look like an inferior piece of sh*t just cuz you ask a question in CS class..
Any question for that matter
And of course he is the head of department...
And with that: hi guys, i'm new, seems like a lot of fun here :D1 -
Ladies and gents,
It feels amazing to learn a new language. I feel like a French guy learning Swahili with ease. Or a game mod creator turning on God mode.2 -
When older family members have entire notebooks dedicated to logging obscure, easily-hackable passwords, but then download any app in the world that promises to "make your phone run like new!" (by using 30MB more RAM on God-knows how much malware)
We aren't doing a good job of educating people if anyone we know can fall victim to those kinds of hackneyed procedures and snake-oil apps. It's almost painful to watch, and have to be the bad guy by telling someone dear to me they've been making things worse for themselves because of a seemingly harmless app that they were almost proud of.4 -
Not a fight I was involved in but one I observed. A junior dev on my team and a server ops guy had major personality conflicts. One day the server ops guy had enough and physically went after the junior dev. I was senior but still pretty new to my own career and had no idea how to handle it. Server guy got fired soon after. I was glad I didn’t have firing power and that he didn’t even report to me anyways.2
-
Worst experience with managers.
Joined new company.
My work experience, knowledge and everything else was upto the mark(exceeded at some places) with their requirements. I was handling full technology stack for previous company.
But while negotiating he declined me salary I asked for because previous company was small (startup with no big name, it shut down after few years) also previous company payscale was low so they offered me increment based on that payscale( which was low compared to salary they offer for same experienced person).
He also hired one more guy who was from big company with same experience, but he got more salary than me. Later I came to know that he knows little compared to me and most of the time manager asked him to take help from me for coding.
Now at the time of increment he is offering me increment with which my salary is still less that the other guy.
I think its time to leave. -
Im excited because I'm getting new pc parts for free.
The parts are:
* AMD 8 core CPU ( not sure which model )
* 16 GB ram
* some good graphics card ( not sure what model )
* motherboard
* cooling ( still not Sure what it will be, the guy was very vague )
It's also coming just before my birthday7 -
Still not sure about this new guy, not trying to be rude but everytime we're talking about code he says shit that makes me wonder how he got hired. (btw he is hanging with the IT department all the time) He's a very nice guy, but talks massive shit when it comes to bugs/new features/etc.
Should I have a look at his pc to see what he's doing when in office or is it none of my business. Help me out here, I'm really curious but don't care if he's a fake at the same time lol.8 -
!Rant
CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"
... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly3 -
Leave the house for 30 fucking minutes and the courier attempts to deliver my new notebook just then---after four days in transit. And, of course, they don't deliver at the weekend.
I swear the guy was camped outside my house waiting to fuck me over.1 -
New colleague comes to present himself. Sees me editing using key bindings, multiple buffers showing in Emacs, bash scripts running in separate terminal...
"I have no idea what you do around here, but I'm sure your a pro"
Seems like a smart guy to me.1 -
"Web design has a bad reputation for being stylistically trendy and same-looking. Some guy does a parallax scrolling site, and now your boss wants you to add that to your corporate PR website for some reason. Glossy buttons, Gaussian Noise, linen texture, new things that look fake-old, then back to minimalism and flat colors as a reaction to the glossy noisy textured fake-old stuff." - Jonas Downey1
-
It's fucking sad that when you buy a new laptop with good specs, good nvidia graphics, good sound and install Arch Linux because you hate fucking windows and arch way is the right way. But, then Linux fucks you because there is no proper nvidia support and you have to use wine which doesn't support new games and you run frequently into problems like audio (P.s. maybe in linux 4.10.11). You have to configure microphone everytime while using Skype and see some other guy having same laptop playing happily latest games without much burden.😣😣😥😥😔😔
When will Linux kernel be amazing for gaming??14 -
Me and new guy are working on something. We're both in different countries.
New guy just graduated a couple of months ago. Thinks he's better than us, egoistic, refuses to accept his mistake. Cannot work well in a team and arrogant. Basically a package.
I fucking spent 3 hrs trying to look for a bug in my code, which doesn't exist in the first place. Because he's a lazy fuck and refuses to even accept that he might've made a bug (evident from the fact that his first reaction was to blame me and second reaction was to verify his code)
And he doesn't have the decency to admit that he made a mistake.
What's even more sad is that I've to babysit him cuz he's incompetent.
It's fucking obnoxious.3 -
Happened to me a while ago:
co-worker: don't use (C++) templates so your colleagues who aren't as smart as you don't have such a hard time understanding your code.
me: said the guy who uses macros all over the place.
co-worker: macros have been around for years and you can expect one to understand those.
me: *tempted to start a discussion about C++ with one who started programming with C like 20 years ago and who doesn't give a fuck about learning new things*... You're right!4 -
was handed a new .NET project (im not a C# guy). i go to spin up a windows 10 machine, i have a 20 gig SSD thinking that would be enough - Windows 10 + Visual studio is 24 gigs???? WTF!!!!2
-
Having a possible new client come in our office and they wanted to see our system. I ask the sales guy what he thin kthey wanted to see.
Day before:
Sales: They do a lot of projects, so if we could show them our rollout system that would be great.
Me: We don't have one....
Needless to say I was up all night and it still turned out as an amazing feature that we use to this day.2 -
Got a new guy sitting in the office. He is nice to talk to and easy to work with. But when he codes for himself behind his screen and something is not working he moans and bitches in a very whiney voice. That whiney tone is so insanly annoying. Sounds like a young dog is mistreated...2
-
A new developer started working with us a few months back. Plenty years of experience, both front- and backend.
He was the perfect guy for the job, according to management. Two weeks ago he asked me what JWS Cookie I used to send my requests.
After a few minutes we realized that he meant JWT token.
Said developer is no longer working with us, he didn’t like all the new technology.1 -
Created a github open source project for voice recognition for react native Android.
Needed help developing some features and did my research with links to some articles.
Then some guy that showed interest in the specific issue just copied my repo and launched his own npm package with the new features.
Just threw my code in the garbage and just felt so irritated. I did all the research and shared the research links and he just duped me and left me to rot. No credit given.
Fuck that guy. This is not open source.
Rant over3 -
In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.
Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!4 -
me making new dev friends
[...]
me: yeah that's cool what IDE are you using for C++?
guy: like an editor where I write the code?
me: ......yes?
guy: hold on, I don't know what it was called
> taps around his desktop
> guy shows word 2007
> I'm laughing a bit uncomfortably because I'm not sure whether he is serious or not
> guy opens up .cpp file in word
> so many questions
> mfw4 -
First day at the new internship. Boss man is pretty nice, but there is a language barrier I have to overcome. I'm supposed to be given a laptop, but the IT guy haven't arrived yet. Good thing I brought my own. I have been seated in the corner of the office, away from the rest of the developers, whose names I already forgot. Apparently I'm going to be doing miceoservices, but I have no idea how.. Am I the only one this has happened to?5
-
A client hired someone to work on a new feature while we were working on something else. The new guy makes huge commits that we don't have the time to read, really.
I merged and deployed my work only to find that the whole database was wiped. Apparently, the new guy pushed some code that reset the database.
I Spent the rest of the day looking through backups trying to restore the database.2 -
I come into the office today and a new guy is sitting at my desk. alright, I introduce myself and explain this is my desk (btw I work in an office where some workers share a desk, me being the most senior tech the desk is reserved for me) and he gives me a dirty look, gets up, and doesn't say anything. could you be more of an asshole?
has this ever happened to anyone else ?5 -
I am getting hugely fucked off with the new captchas that are everywhere (well hardly new but I swear they’ve gotten worse).
I’m taking longer to do captchas now than I am to post on forums.
I want to find the guy who came up with this and break my fist off of his cunt.4 -
Tomorrow starts a new guy in my team (I am TL), but I have never seen him before! 😕
A coworker resigned during the hiring process and has had his last day today and I am overtaking his team because my boss is unable to set up a job profile.
180% of workload and even more new guys arriving (2 more in the next 2 months!)
No salary raise either...
FML4 -
Some days ago I was talking to the main IT guy at my new job, we still work on different dept so I don't know anything about him.
As I start come general chat I begin to realize He don't know what a repository is, what the GIT for github mean or even nothing about the ancient CVS.
I'm starting to worry about where am I.6 -
A client's representative (was an operations manager maybe; non technical guy) was explaining his legacy project (a knowledge transfer session), mentioned about using Azure for their new system.
One of the senior .net developer in the room interrupts this guy and asks "can you explain what do you mean by azure?"
I was like "what the fuck! did I hear it wrong" -
Replaced a colleague's busted HDD and gave him the old one to copy over stuff.
When I came back, the guy was about to copy over the root folder of the old one over the new one .... And I mean 'drag and drop' not even 'cp -r' -
Me: I'm going to reinstall Xcode. It's been shitty since the last update, and I've tried quite a lot to make it stop freezing, with no success.
Guy: man... I think we should order new Mac machines.
Me: no, it's just Xcode, the machine is fine.
Guy: man... we have 8 RAM on these, but I think we really need more power.
Me: no dude, I swear it's only Xcode, otherwise it's a breeze...
Guy: yeah, gonna order new machines, BRB!
Me (in my head): IT'S JUST XCODE FFS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!4 -
When you come up with a perfect working model for branching and merging, and everyone agrees apart from the one guy who insists you use gitflow because he likes shiny new things2
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We have this guy at the company who always presents good ideas and always suggests new projects. One day he suggested a great project, our boss really liked the idea and gave me the green light to start creating it.
The guy, seeing the opportunity to promote himself, and without consulting me about the deadline, set up a meeting to present the application to the directors, and only then informed me about the deadline. At that moment I did my part, told him that it would not be possible to meet the deadline with all the requirements, something had to be withdrawn, and that's what he did, took a lot of things from the project and we went on like this.
While I was implementing the application, he was always pushing, asking me to do it faster, asking my boss to put me exclusively in his project, and things like that, the boss was always saying that there were not enough people on the team to devote someone exclusively to the project. The guy of course did not agree with that.
At the end the application, without a lot of the initial requirements, was a really mess but ready, he presented to the directors, who in turn liked a lot, and consequently asked to do all the initial requirements and some more. But now those initial requirements had to be made on top of a mess because of all the rush and adaptations.
A few months later, with the change of the board, the guy turned up being my boss, and I've prepared myself to go back to his project with exclusive dedication.
Then came the surprise, when the guy, in the boss position, realized the limitations of the team, instead of putting me to do everything he wanted in that project, he canceled the project entirely and for all the reasons that had already been said to him by the former boss.
Please, don't be like that guy!2 -
public const bool DEBUG_THAT_SHIT = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("debugThatShit");
public const bool DEBUG_THAT_OTHER_SHIT = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("debugThatOtherShit");
public bool iMadeANewFeature = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("newFeature")?true:false;
Fucking new guy, can you not fucking read the other constants and make them look the same? Apparently not and I am the asshole. -
I'd been with the company for maybe two weeks, pushed some changes and updates to a client's site on a Friday afternoon as instructed by my boss, checked everything over and it's all fine.
Come Monday morning and this client is seriously miffed, not all of the changes had applied and the site was a mess all weekend. Turns out a bug with the caching plugin meant what we were getting in the office was different to outside.
Meetings were held and a new QA procedure was put in place.undefined i'm getting fired new guy oops unhappy client wk50 don't deploy changes on friday caching problem -
Happend a few months ago...
We encountered a performance issue somewhere in our Code, written by a guy who already left.
It was kind of this:
foreach(var id in idList)
{
CallServiceWithDataBaseAccess(new List<string>()
{
id
}
}
Well. It was obvious as in this example... -
Windows guy here, installing Ubuntu. Gonna see if I can get a Hello World going with this fancy new .Net Core.5
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This new guy started working/doing his internship when I had just finished mine. He asked a colleague for help, but had to wait a little. All of a sudden he got up, said bye to another colleague and left. All of the sudden the colleague asked where he was. Apparently he left because he didn't feel like waiting. Safe to say he wasn't welcome back after that.
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If there is anything worse than a bad, not willing to learn programmer is a so called plugin programmer.
Who only knows how to install plugin over plugin to do a simple task.
Just had to fix something on one websites (wp site, I know, just kill me) where the guy had like 25-30 plugins (some where disabled). And most of them were for adding new widget positions.3 -
Happened way back when I was still in high school and facebook was relatively new. We used to own a cyber cafe.
--
The Guy: (Talking to other customers) I'll have you know that I'm a graduate in Computer Science! *Proceeds to boast about self and other bullshittery*
Others: *In awe*
Me: *Veeeery Skeptical*
A few days later...
The Guy: (Talks to me) Hey, there seems to be a problem with your internet. I can't log in on facebook.
Me: Could you try to do what you are doing again?
...
The Guy: See, doesn't work.
Me: Have you registered your account on facebook?
The Guy: Huh? What are you talking about? I have my Yahoo! mail.
Me: ..You need to register your email on facebook in order to log in.
The Guy: What?? I don't get it. I am registered and have a Yahoo! mail!
Me: *Brain Sigh*
(I proceed to help him register his email on facebook)
The Guy: Oh, you had to register on facebook! Now I get it! I thought that if you created an email you can immediately use that to log in to facebook.
Me: *Internal facepalm x1000*
(This guy is a Computer Science graduate? Oh PLEASE. ) -
I study Computer Science. At school we have a little project group that help others students in different fields with their computer problems.
A guy came and he says that he tried to removed the jack from the audio jack - he broke it for whatever reason - with a stick with hot glue on it's tip saying he saw this on Youtube. The glue got stuck in the jack... We had to buy a new headphone jack card for his laptop. -
Guy whom I know that wants to be a famous and relevant front-end dev in my home country wrote an article saying that he uses stack overflow to measure the reliability and potential growth of a new technology before learning it.
I’m a junior but I felt pity and shame for him.6 -
Don't you just love that moment when you see shit,
Flying.
In a bow.
Through the air.
And actually just starting, just starting, to hit the fan.
Three days before your deadline.
And it is crystal clear the project is gonna end up as a mess.
Total disaster.
But the best thing of all: it's not your fault.
So, you are actually celebrating the mess to come a little, and know that you can blame the guy who isn't trusting you as a new guy, and show him, with all his more years experience, he is the one who can't be trusted.1 -
Got our snazzy new HP Elitebooks from IT. Nice lil laptops.
Guess how many apps they installed for us off the list of "Applications Devs Need" that was submitted with the original request that they asked us to provide.
Goddamn 0. 0 Apps installed. ”Instead here is admin access, install what you want.”
Being a PC guy I don't mind setting up a new environment but things like Office365 and Adobe CC could of been installed for me, I don't have the licence info offhand so now I gotta bug IT again and why ask for a list if your not going to install any of them?? Ugh. I don't have time to sit here while Adobe installs the whole suite....
/rant
What's the first thing you install on your new PC? I find I grab ConEMU first.6 -
Documentation at the end of a 3 year project is like writing a blurb with only titles of the chapters... You better understand the entire project !! Good luck to the new guy.. Lol
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When the new guy changes the format of the code and fucks it up and you have to go back and fix it... slowly raises gun to head
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!rant
Just had a meeting with a client. Client is a local company but they hired a new guy and he is a foreigner. They made a website with us. Since it is a typical corporate website with few pages and just text and images as content, we used WordPress.
The new guy is familiar with squarespace and asked me my opinion on using SS. I don't really find any issue and it was my reply. He seemed surprised and asked me "Wouldn't it be like losing your business?"
I have never considered developing WordPress as my business. Programming is my interest and profession. But my main passion is to provide solutions to anyone in need. In fact, there were many occasions where I told to clients they shouldn't buy our services and recommend other services including competitors.
He probably thinks I'm a strange guy. -
Company logic: "we need a new software manager for the program. This guy has worked on every piece of our product. Including as team lead of one of the teams. But wait he has never signed time cards. We better bring in this guy who has been in the company less than a year and is a known job shopper to do it instead."
Long story short, I am getting a new software manager that knows nothing about our product. Fun4 -
I'm currently working as a full stack web developer.
Now to my situation. Me and my team partner are part of a bigger dev department. My department lead now wants to split his responsibility into smaller groups. All groups get a new lead out of the group of devs except mine... No let's put together web and hardware development. It's not like I already coordinate all web and app related stuff. But hey let's hire a new guy for this... Hopefully someone with the same knowledge of the web as my current lead... Like none... -
That time when the IT guy for your client company email you asking if we need to change code of their web based system cause they got new printer.
He forwarded the question from users like he didn't know the users needed to select a new printer or change their default printer.
God knows what he's doing there!!3 -
Best part about being a dev? - Finding little gems of humour in comments and docs.
Why convert HTML to Markdown?
-You have an existing HTML document that needs to be edited by people with good taste.
-You want to store new content in HTML format but edit it as Markdown.
-You want to convert HTML email to plain text email.
-You know a guy who's been converting HTML to Markdown for years, and now he can speak Elvish. You'd quite like to be able to speak Elvish.
-You just really like Markdown.
from https://github.com/thephpleague/... -
Well I would say a pretty humbling experience was my last job interview where my new boss and hr guy were truly shared by my skills and then the first day at work where my boss said please do this decision, I really need an opinion by an experienced developer like you as I am not sure which one is the better one.1
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When the new head of the Computer Science program at our university comes to our help desk and needs help getting a Kali Linux box to connect to wifi... we have lost all hope (back story this guy is only head because he was the only one to take the job. he is a total tard... it's scary)2
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I have co workers who laugh at me everytime I discuss to them how we should create clean code. (create functions for repeating code, naming conventions, generic code).
They would brag instead how they make another javascript ui library/plugin work(we are web developers by the way). Looks good in the front end but a mess in the backend.
I already created generic classes, generic database views that can be used by them if they want. But they create a new one with the same functionality.
I am a bit of a shy guy, and they are bit of loud, and I don't want to look like a know-it-all-guy, so I just let them do what they want.
I am just concerned how we can work easier by easily reading each others code.6 -
So the guy I replaced as the senior dev on my project (because he was lazy) is now trying to give me advice on how to cleanup my code.... This is the motherfucker who blatantly copies and pastes from one library to another and pushes the code without doing ANY testing and so I had to spend many weekends cleaning up his pile of shit code, and now I have 3 new tickets labelled 'style updates' that he wants me to merge in.... Fuck him, I'm not merging his code4
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I remember back then when we were building an E-commerce website. To maintain good performance the boss insisted using flat table. This was also applied to other projects like GPS. That was already 2013 when NoSQL databases like MongoDB was around already. His concern is he didn't like to risk on new technologies and it would cost money for training instead of using the existing "MySQL" and Microsoft SQL Server.
Everything I learned from that guy was just poop. -
Just opened Telegram to read new messages from a random group in which I was added by a total random guy. Saw that guy asking for some help on how he could get more free RAM in his phone for whatever reasons. Then saw this fucking asshole writing dumb shit instead of helping him and everybody is now praising him like God. I thought of telling that dick what he's upto, but just left that fucking group of morons immediately.4
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I was 7 years old and my father bought our first PC, something like a 286, 386 or possibly even a 486, don't remember... Anyway, the guy that was setting it up was a programmer and I watched him first set it up and then I watched him program something into the wee hours on our new PC, I've no idea what he was doing, but I watched him for hours, was dazzled by it as much as by the games he installed :)
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First job out of school was for a company that did Cold Storage as its main gig and custom dev as a minor form of additional income. I worked with one of the owners and another guy as a three man agile team.
Except, the owner didn't trust source control, so we didn't use it. There was no organization, instead the owner would come in every morning, and assign something new. Randomly, the owner would come in and pitch a fit that something he had assigned 3 weeks before, immediately pulled us off of the next day, and ordered us to DELETE the code for, wasn't done. He treated the other guy on our team as his personal whipping boy. He would sometimes go 2 or 3 days without saying a word to me. No project to work, nothing. I would sit there all day with nothing to do. I stayed there a year. -
New guy hasn't written or commuted any code, yet he is the most annoying person doing code reviews with bullshit comments.
Normally when I start at a new shop, I hold off on code reviews until I'm at least familiar with the project(s).1 -
New guy started recently to take over my projects before I return to uni.. he had a few changes to make in one application and I'm reviewing them. He has literally re-written the entire application. -__-5
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Good guy Google.
Recently started a new job. Getting good feedback on my work. When really everything is off google :D -
Developing on machine without admin rights. Am supposed to check out docker to see if it would fit the project, but i CAN'T TRY A FRICKKIN' THING 'CAUSE I CAN'T INSTALL ANYTHING. Got those rights taken away a few days ago because of new company guideline. Now admin rights can't be assigned to person but only to a user group. Currently waiting for our department's IT-Support guy to look what he can do to somehow give me the rights back. Now listening to a meeting in our office that's completly irrelevant to me bevause I'm bored...2
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Picked up an issue to contribute to OSS for a community version of a major enterprise software. Did the changes, submitted a pull request. Someone reviewed it, asked for some changes, which i did and pushed the changes.
Then after some discussion with the guys working there, we thought of making some changes to the UI. Step in the company UI guy, he makes some changes, i merge his branch into mine and submit a new pull request.
Now, a new guy comes in to review the code, who has a problem with every change THEIR UI Guy did, and negates everything the first reviewer said, and asks me to do the changes, and boy was I pissed!!
But I did the changes, updated the PR, then the first reviewer comes in again, and suggests some more changes, most of them are for the code, THEIR UI Guydid!! Fucking psychopaths!! Never had i seen such paranoid people in my life!! Educate your fucking team first!!
I one again started with the changes but left mid way!! Now, even if i want to, will not update the PR!! FUCK YOU!!3 -
Looking for hosting Don’t really know who I should go through? I have used host gator and go daddy in the past and would like to try out some new hosting. What would you guy recommend? And why? Budget for the month would be around 15 usd for hosting max. I would like to host my portfolio and as many domains as possible on the hosting. Please help4
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When the guy with 30 years experience calls the new engineers interns and gets smacked with the same title he has.
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The double-edged sword of teamwork. I'm an indie Game dev, so I have no choice but to work with others of completely different fields. I enjoy it and I get a lot of motivation seeing things done and learning many new disciplines, but team projects have so many downsides when you have to handle everything from programming to cinematography that someone else was meant to do.
My final team uni project I even had to do our music composing cause our sound effects guy did almost nothing in 6 months (he wrote 6 midi notes in 2 weeks at one point). -
so my mum got a new phone yesterday (huawei p smart)...
boy will that be an adventure showing her what is possible now (coming from moto g3😅)🙄
but hey i'm a patient guy when it comes to that😏 -
ON THE PHONE WITH THE SHITTY HEALTH CARE PROVIDER THAT OUR COMPANY USES... THEY CANT PROVIDE AN EMAIL.... NOW THE GUY I GOT SAYS HE CANT ACCESS MY INFO BECAUSE OF A SYSTEM ERROR.... NEED TO TRANSFER TO ANOTHER GUY!!!!
WTF!!!!! DUMBASSES.... THEY SHOULD BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!
AND I NEED TO GET A NEW JOB... BUT PROLLY WONT BE DOING THAT FOR AWHILE.... :( -
Right now. I'm expected to train a guy in maintaining 3 different apps before the end of August. The manager wanted a complete plan for the whole process, with time estimates on everything. Then we put together a whole plan with a spreadsheet for the schedule and she wonders if we are "going overboard". If you expect this guy to be able to fix any issue by the end of this, theres no such thing as overboard. Get your head out of your ass. Meanwhile she is supposed to be finding a new project for me but I fully expect her to come back and say they need me to stay "just a bit longer". I cant wait for that meeting...
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Best experience? My homie @lordbarnhill and I stumbled onto the solution for installing OpenSocial #Drupal8 properly on Pantheon hosting.
Worst experience? Creating a website for a radiology group only to get fired with 3 days left until launch. The "new" developer turned out to be their IT guy in house took 2 months to launch. The experience up to the point of getting fired was excruciatingly detailed and filled with ope creep. -
So ive been on this project for months. Project lead did not have a role anymore and now they decide this other guy is the new project lead. This while i am the one having to deploy everything and answer questions from mr Free Lance.
Holy crap i gotta find myself a new job, these people are going nuts. -
I was new on iOS so they hired a senior guy to lead the project ... I tried to listen to him but when he started to talk about "Gingleton" pattern i just put my headphones back
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So funny thing happen yesterday night. I was attending a small talk at a meeting here in our town where one guy had to present some unconventional "React" methods and the other one had to present "ClosureScript".
The "React" guy didn't show up, and the "Closure" guy told us that this compiler is multi-threading but in fact by his examples was single-threading.
So instead of learning new stuff in there I just laugh my ass off because of this event. -
Company is hiring a new PM (the first one, to allow me, the only dev, to concentrate on developing and not dealing with client crap) and I'm being allowed in on the vetting process.
Background: we maintain quite a few WordPress ecommerce sites, so part of the job spec was to be familiar with WordPress environments and the codebase, and that they have a least 3 years of PM experience.
1st phone interview: I'm an experienced WordPress developer, been doing it for 5 years.
Me: oh cool, can you show us examples of themes, plugins, and extensions you've created?
Guy: oh, no, I just install pre-made stuff.
Me: ...
*click*1 -
I hate surprises.
I join office after a short leave and the other guy is out with a completely new product I have no clue of. (surprise 1)
Next, he's on leave and now I'm asked to fix bugs.(surprise 2)
Just for the curious, I ended up successfully fixing them and adding 2 features. -
so, I am new to servers.. and I was watching this video on how to setup dspace..
And literally this guy is teaching how to copy..
his instructions were.
first hold left click and drag along the text
then leave the left button and click on right button then select copy1 -
I didn't do it but one of my coworkers when he was new left his desktop unlocked while stepping away from it for a while. Another coworker changed the keyboard layout to Dvorak and locked it. The guy had to had to use his phone to look up Dvorak to get his desktop unlocked.1
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New guy - Senior profile - First question asked - Nope it's a Junior. How come - asking the basic functionality of the middleware piece you have to extend and cannot even answer on this one
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Sprinting all week long against time. friday afternoon, committing time. connect to Git to check latest changes. Server down.
New IT Guy pushed an update @4PM.
He's been missing for a week. -
!rant
I want to create a website and the frontend stuff is already done by another guy. It is similar to social media in that it needs an upvote-system and accept uploads. There also needs to be a payment system. I have very little experience in web development, but I have a lot of fun learning new things.
My question: Would you recomend a CMS(which one) or
learning by doing?7 -
Not really the place for this, I know. But I am a crypto coin guy. And I work with numerous coins. I was curious if anyone new of an app the could monitor all of your cryto-coin addresses and give you something of a portfolio value. I am capable of doing so manually but the prices flux a decent amount so it changes from day to day.6
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So we had a new platform guy start this morning.
*2 hours later*
They fired the only previous other platform guy. Well this'll end well... -
My senior colleague turned buddy submitted his resignation today. I'm happy for the new opportunities coming his way yet at the same time I know I will miss the guy who taught me so much. Bittersweet moment...
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My team decided to do a MOB programming in one of our tickets.
New joiner: Perfect we did a mob yesterday .
Me: Great, that's good. How did it go?
New joiner: Well, we work together in the gaming room next to each other and trying to solve the issue. I think it's very productive.
Me: Awesome! Let's do it again today... When we started the MOB, all of them are using their own laptop. And I was like.. so, this is how you did the MOB yesterday?
New guy: Yes.
Me: This is not a MOB programming... MOB programming uses only 1 screen, 1 driver and everyone work together, will tell the driver what to do, we need to exchange the driver every 10 to 15 minutes, everyone can be a driver. (devs, qa, ux, product) and do a retro after.
New guy: ah.. wow! Interesting.3 -
So last semester for my English class, I had to learn a "new skill" and write an essay [the final] about it. So naturally instead of taking the time to learn something new, I just slapped together a c# (in which I'd say I'm already fluent) calculator app with winforms.
When it came time to present my "new" skill to the class, everybody was overimpressed. Then at the end of my little presentation, one guy goes "Oh! Is that all done in HTML?".
Without giving it a thought, I instinctively replied "No, it's a programming language". He just looked so confused after that. -
This is an actual transcript...
Since it's way too long for the normal 5000 characters, hence splitting it up...
Infra Guy: mr Dev, could you please give some rational for update of jjb?
Dev: sparse checkout support is missing
Infra Guy: is this support mandatory to achive whatever you trying to do?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: u trying to get set of specific folder for set of specific components?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: bash script with cp or mv will not work for you?
Dev: no
Infra Guy: ?
Dev: when you have already present functionality why reinvent the wheel
Dev: jenkins has support for it
Dev: the jjb is the bottle neck
Infra Guy: getting this functionality onto our infra would have some implications
Dev: why should I write bash script if jenkins allows me to do that
Dev: what implications ??
Infra Guy: will you commit to solve all the issues caused by new jjb?
Dev: you show me the implications first
Infra Guy: like a year ago i have tried to get new jjb <commit_url>
Infra Guy: no, the implications is a grey area
Infra Guy: i cant show all of them and they may hit like in week or eve month
Dev: then why was it not tackled
Dev: and why was it kept like that
Infra Guy: few jobs got broken on something
Dev: it will crop up some time later
Dev: if jobs get broken because of syntax
Dev: then jobs can be fixed
Dev: is it not ???
Infra Guy: ofc
Infra Guy: its just a question who will fix them
Dev: follow the syntax and follow the guidelines
Dev: put up a test server and try and lets see
Dev: you have a dev server
Dev: why not try on that one and see what all jobs fails
Dev: and why they fail
Dev: rather than saying it will fail and who will fix
Dev: let them fail and then lets find why
Dev: I manually define a job
Dev: I get it done
Infra Guy: i dont think we have test server which have the same workload and same attention as our prod
Dev: unless you test how would you know ??
Dev: and just saying that it broke one with a version hence I wont do it
Infra Guy: and im not sure if thats fair for us to deal with implication of upgrading of the major components just cause bash script is not good enough for u
Dev: its pretty bad
Infra Guy: i do agree
Infra TL Guy: Dev, what Infra Guy is saying is that its not possible to upgrade without downtime
Infra Guy: no
Dev: how long a downtime are we looking at ??
Infra Guy: im saying that after this upgrade we will have deal with consequences for long time
Infra Guy-2: No this is not testing the upgrade is the huge effort as we dont have dev resources to handle each job to run
Dev: if your jjb compiles all the yaml without error
Dev: I am not sure what consequences are we talking of
Infra Guy: so you think there will be no consequences, right?
Dev: unless you take the plunge will you know ??
Dev: you have a dev server running at port 9000
Infra Guy: this servers runs nothing
Dev: that is good
Dev: there you can take the risk
Infra Guy: and the fack we have managed to put something onto api doesnt mean it works
Dev: what API ?
Infra Guy: jenkins api
Infra Guy: hmmm
Dev: what have you put on Jenkins API ??
Infra Guy: (
Dev: jjb is a CLI
Infra Guy: ((
Dev: is what I understand
Dev: not a Jenkins API
Infra Guy: (((
Dev: (((((
Infra Guy: jjb build xmls and push them onto api
Infra Guy: and its doent matter
Dev: so you mean to say upgrading a CLI is goig to upgrade your core jenkisn API
Dev: give me a break
Infra Guy: the matter is that even if have managed to build something and put it onto api
Infra Guy: doesnt mean it will work
Dev: the API consumes the xml file and creates a job
Infra Guy: right
Dev: if it confirms to the options which it understands
Dev: then everything will work
Dev: I am actually not getting your point Infra Guy
Infra Guy: i do agree mr Dev
Dev: we are beating around the bush
Infra Guy: just want to be sure that if this upgrade will break something
Infra Guy: we will have a person who will fix it
Dev: that is what CICD is supposed to let me know with valid reasons
Dev: why can't that upgrade be done
Infra Guy: it can be done
Infra Guy: i even have commit in place3 -
There is a hack-a-ton here till 23:00. The new guy i am i was thinking of staying and see where i can help...
Last couple of days i've been working on a project (my first real one yay) and at first i got lots of help to get me started.
Right now im completely stuck and everybody is busy here. No help anymore. Fml
The weather is hell atm here in Holland so, even thought i don't feel like staying anymore i think i still stay, and see if i can learn something new.1 -
Sales guy: Client has a new requirement, wants it by the weekend.
Me: but did you tell him why we've an alternative for this here.
Sales guy: cool, complete it by weekend then. -
One of my first rants was about adding a 1 to the wrong part of an extensive equation.
Just had the new guy move it back to where I had it messed up initially. It took him a few minutes to understand why his changes weren't working.
To not feeling stupid anymore. 🍻 -
Till today, me along with another one guy were the only Tux users in the office. Just now, one of my colleague saw how easily and quickly I get various tasks done and got impressed. He said he is getting a new laptop next week and wants this. He is already frustrated with the lag in Windows and the infamous Windows updates. I gave him a pretty good review and he asked me if I could help him install Ubuntu on his new laptop when he gets it 😃
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First week at new dev job. Had to move my workdesk 4 times, which means not being with my team. The guy that should help me get to know the code base & project had to change team and project, and is busy all the time. What should I do ??1
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Those days when you have to sit behind the new guy at the customer and let him code. And explain every single thing to him 🤦♂️. And all you want is to grab the keyboard and start coding on your own 👨💻.
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The new guy ran into traffic one day instead of using the crosswalk with the rest of us. There were several pirouettes involved and luckily the cars slammed the brakes in time. To this day we still have no idea why he did it.
There are many stories about him doing strange things but this was the most memorable by far. -
I've just changed our style sheet generator to using gulp.
Took me 10 minutes to learn what to do (just css preprocessing with prefixes).
Grunt was horrid. We had it because the last guy thought "something new, I'll use this now", and it's never changed because no one understands it. Even after a few hours research. -
-assigning me a new API integration
-It should be fairly easy. Possibly in a click of a button.
-3 weeks later... End up with outdated documentation and a call with an Indian accent guy (no offence it just end up that way)
Please chose very carefully what to use and research it very well! Trust nobody but yourself! -
So, a new coworker started here about two months ago. He's all about talking but the actions aren't very fast.
I looked at my Pull Request and this guy is writing comments for 5. Where the hell did he get the balls from? Seriously!
Please stand next to the designer so i can slap both of you bitches. -
Nothing makes me - on a regular basis - doubt myself more than when I'm reading documentation and finding the arguments and variables I need, but not for the life of me finding the syntax or which context I should be using it in.
It's as if it's assumed to be common knowledge and I dread being "that guy" to ask someone about it. I feel like such a chump opening a new tab and googling for examples. -
So...about companies having way to big expectations on their job ads descriptions: Me being the new guy in all of this, of course I'm looking for more informations on the field everywhere. One day I came across a video on youtube posted by Eli the Computer Guy, and he was describing (caricaturing) this exact problem. You should look it up.
I'm not sure if he himself is a valuable source/resource of knowledge, but it did help me to understand this problem to some extent.
Hope it helps you too.6 -
Guys, how do you structure branching in an enterprise project?
We're using git, managers are MIA, I'm basically helping another new guy kick off and maintain the projects that we have.
What would be a good branching strategy? Front end and backend in the same project, 5 man team in the future.2 -
I keep asking inconvenient questions in meetings. Because I'm supposed to just be the "hardware" guy I guess it's unexpected?
Piggybacking off the low gain vs high gain omnidirectional antennas question from yesterday I asked today if our wireless issues at another branch could be due to the NICs on the tablets.
802.11n is great if you have hardware capable of MIMO. If not that fancy new AP may not be such a sound investment.2 -
When ur company hires someone so less qualified than u so u feel u wanna work even more badass just to make the difference so noticeable in hopes of getting the new dummy kicked out.
...what is wrong with me🤦🏻♂️12 -
Business Process Execution Languages.
Would anybody incorporate these into a new project? The guy mentioned it at the interview and I have still not understood what are they useful for... -
3 devs, one and myself are new hires. I started a week after the other new guy and my 3rd week of training is next week.
The other devices has been fixing what the Swift 3 update broke. We realized next update we will be fixing it. Time to learn Swift! -
We all get MacBook Pros in the company. I have been reluctant to take mine home even tho everyone else does because i have only been here for 2 months and a half. Last week a new guy came and took his home from day 1. Who is the wrong one here 🤷🏻♂️19
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We're supporting hardware for a new client now. A guy on my team has been working directly with the client to set up access for us all. He sent us all an email yesterday, asking us to update a ticket with our, "domain name and passphrase."
He meant user id and ssh public key, but he doesn't know enough about Linux (which he supports for a living) to know what it was called. -
So I'm the position that I'm the one who's hiring new developers at the firm I work at, do you have any tips on things I should consider and look for.
In technical terms I know what we need but what about the personal things and how to get the right guy/girl?4 -
The User Interface Errors I experience on Debian, are so non senscial sometimes. I used to be a big Open Source guy over Windows, when I first started Linux. But after deep contemplation I think having monetary incentive is the main force for creating new technology in thos decade. As technology has advanced t seems like the open source community experiences 10 new errors for solving a problem. I think in the 90s atleast Linux seemed to make more gains, while this may be due to a smaller community or technology being more limited o dont know. I due think though technology abstractions seem to be more necessary these days, which saddens me.3
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Hello guys, I've got a question. When you're working with someone in a project using a VCS, how do you go when implementing stuff? Do you create a new branch and then merge to master or do you tell to the other guy that you're going to do "this thing" so he doesn't do it or what? I've never collaborated with someone and I would like to have a little information about this topic. The things I've built have been all by myself so If some day I ever plan to work with someone else I rather know this stuff already.4
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This guy nails it!
https://youtu.be/5Sl5C-5fX1M
A talk about (semantic) versioning and breaking updates which make you spend countless hours to just adapt to a new library upgrade and how we can do it with a bit less PITA.
tl;dw: The answer is codemods. -
Started a new job at the same time as another guy. We are doing pull requests, I leave a comment about a one line improvement.
"This is not part of my task. If you want me to do extra run it past our bosses. You can't tell me what to do."
I despair. -
A new guy joined my team two months ago he is more experienced than I am, but his knowledge yet is not good enough for our project. He is on live project working with me on a feature. I have major trust issues right now. How do people handle that in your teams?3
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tl;dr How do I deal with translations?
Chinese users asked for translations for ages, one guy did it all, but then? I needed to update the app, I had added some new strings, the guy didn't replayed. Obviously, as I didn't wanted to pay, I've used Google Translate. Result? "Good app, but the translations are wrong.", nice!
What can I do? Do I remove the Chinese translation and tell them to fuck off?3 -
I finally got around to working on my new application (after a friendly guy did pull requests)
I feel like I made decent progress.
yay!
I will certainly add more tomorrow :) -
I talked to one of my coworkers about my next steps for completing my next project and he responds so lithargically. I don't know if he thinks I'm just an unexperienced idiot of if that's just how he is. Maybe it's just my imposter syndrome kicking in.
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Hello folks, have a question, I can't decide if I should install windows 7 (super stable Windows btw) or a Linux distribution (debian or Ubuntu 14), I've always been a Windows guy and was thinking of switching to Linux on my new free dos laptop and wanted to have a hand on Linux, but please I don't want that Windows/Linux fight I just need real advice. Some friends told me to get Windows 7 and a VM Linux just for practice, I also thought about having a dual boot Windows Linux server , I think it would be the best config for me.. so..?3