Same goes for my parents... lol

My first rant...! Saw this on twitter. So, true.

!rant, HTML is the toughest

What the actual...?

User Ip Address is too long (maximum is 30 characters).

Okay, dear third-party API, I guess users with IPv6 don't deserve the service... And wtf is 30-char limit for an IP address, when IPv4 can be only 15 characters long, and IPv6 can be up to 39 characters? Did you calculate a weighted average of IP length to get that number?

The only useful indicator of code-quality is the wtf-per-minute scale.

JavaScript WTF #1

"Cricket Exchange App"
1Million downloads - 4.9* Rating
Was quiet interested
Installed and opened
And wtf is this?

I read your CV and i called you for this interview but now i see that you are not qualified for this position.
You have to be certified by CISCO as a Software Developer.

That was the moment I knew he is a fucktard.

He was saved..

WTF GOOGLE, WHY...

My friend said, "Java is better than Linux."

Google is a bit confused about what "wtf" mean :-)

My company doesn't allows or uses Wi-Fi. It's too dangerous... Like fucking really. We also don't use a repository. We version stuff by dates folders. Yes we are a ecommerce business.

WTF!?!?!?!?....

I work at a small company that uses very outdated coding approaches for their solutions.

About a year ago I went through our main application to improve performance and found quite a few areas that I could tackle such as using a dictionary data structure in place of (many) foreach loops that required to pull out a single object.

That specific change yielded a lot of improvement (you can only imagine) and the other developers wanted to learn the ways of dictionaries (because it was so revolutionary and new to them). I showed them many examples so that they could better understand this data structure.

Fast forward to a few months later, saw one of my coworker's code and noticed that they were using a dictionary... And iterating through each kvp similar to a foreach..... Wtf?!

P.S. that person's salary is much higher than mine :(

First time rant. Thanks for listening!

Stages of learning angular js
1. Wtf
2. I think I get it.
3. Wtf

Take one day a week for side / non-priority / experimental projects.

1. If your contract allows it (and it should), get more involved in public dev community. Your employer benefits greatly from making a small closed source core product, with a giant open source ecosystem around it. Write public articles. Working in a community larger than one single business is fun.

2. Start a company coding club, a "labs" division, work in a slightly more exotic language. Great if your employer gives you time, but using some of your own is worth it too. Work on non critical tools, creative experiments. Sometimes you stumble onto incredibly valuable ideas which would never have popped up if you had strictly followed stakeholder requirements.

3. Listen to your body. If you feel restless, go for a run. If you feel tired, take a nap. If you're stuck, wander around the company. If you feel down, go find a place with more than a dozen trees. And always have a notepad nearby for doodling!

--- New API allows developers to update Android Apps while using them ---

Today, at the Android Dev Summit, Google announced a new API which allows developers to update an app while using it.
Until now, you were forced to close the app and were locked out of it until the update has finished.
This new API adds two different options:
1.) A Full-Screen experience which locks the user out of the app which should be used for critical updates when you expect the user to wait for the update to be applied immediately. This option is very similar to how the update flow worked until now.
2.) A flexible update so users can keep using the app while it's updating. Google also said that you can completely customize the update flow so it feels like part of your app!

For now, the API is only available for early-access partners, but it will be released for everyone soon!

Source:
https://android-developers.googleblog.com/...

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Achievement get: heap overflow in JavaScript!

Related: Fuck me!