SkillsPython, HTML/CSS/JS, nunchaku, bow hunting, computer hacking.
LocationIn the not too distant future
Joined devRant on 2/20/2018
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First job as a web dev (promoted within my company from helpdesk!!!!). I made it explicitly clear that my php experience is rudimentary and that I was still learning and our CIO was fine with that, just said I need to fast track learning.
In my first website support meeting today they dropped all kinds of fun stuff about Wordpress development that I only know the basics on and is now my responsibility to learn, so:
How the hell do I learn php/scss/sass/docker for Wordpress really fucking fast? Lol4
SharePoint things that I get yelled at by customers for:
Setting up page permissions wrong (even though the real problem is that a coworker didn’t check the page in)
Writing the workflow wrong and nobody is getting emailed (even though they didn’t select who to send the email to)
Not magically knowing that they wanted the new intern (who started Tuesday) to be given full design rights on their page
Not magically knowing that their discussion mod quit a year ago (before I started here) and now nobody can feature a post
Not spinning up an entire new site so that they could post a link to a single sign up sheet for their team (of 10 people) barbecue
Somehow making it so MS Edge can’t handle high res images correctly (because I totally created Edge (which isn’t even a supported browser here))
Not responding immediately when they submitted a ticket at 7:00pm (I’m off at 5) asking me to change one word on a page they have edit rights to
Not giving their admin assistant global design rights for our entire organization
Not giving them access to a confidential folder that has nothing to do with their job
Telling the owner of aforementioned folder that they’re not allowed to store confidential data in SharePoint
Making workflows too confusing for them to figure out
Fixing shit workflows that their ex coworker built wrong
Generally having the word SharePoint associated with my name2
I left for lunch early to drive five miles away to an abandoned parking lot so that I could cry about an email I received... this week has been fantastic.11
So since I’m in managers meetings I get a lot of info that I probably shouldn’t have. For example, I know before everyone else when we’re considering going to a new software, and I’m in the vendor discussions and pilot groups for said software.
Today a user came down and asked me to build a feature that will be included ootb in the new software we’re considering. I wanted to say no because I know we’re going to this other thing, but couldn’t because it’s not for sure. So I said I’d take care of it and ushered him on his way and now I have to build some crap that will be obsolete in eight months.
I prefer the good old days of blindly pushing buttons at the request of the evil overlords... it was so much simpler...2
Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.
Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.
Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to
Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission
Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.
Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)5
Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!
Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!
Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.
Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.
3 person help desk shop for 450 users. One of my tasks is procurement.
Customer: we need a portable monitor that takes up less desk space than the one you typically have us buy
Me: at the conference last week we displayed the upgraded model of that portable monitor which takes up half the desk space. It’s $250 instead of the $150 that you normally would pay.
Customer: that ones too expensive, find me something else.
Me: unfortunately not too many companies make portable monitors and since AOC is unreliable in quality we have been recommending Asus, who only makes those two models that I’ve shown you.
Customer: I want the AOC one anyways. You shouldn’t have shown the more expensive one because now my staff want it and I can’t get it. If everyone can’t afford it you shouldn’t have it available.
Me: I understand your frustration, we have recommended that more expensive one as an option for people who have special accommodations for eye care and as an alternative if people dislike the current model. Since it’s not required that you purchase it and since we do have a much less expensive option we will continue to recommend it. As for the AOC one we will allow you to purchase it but will not be supporting or repairing it.
Customer: Can we get this instead? *sends link to $989 pre tax off brand version of Razer Project Valeria*5
Got an email stating that our meal preferences for the upcoming conference were finalized and that we needed to make sure they were right. Checked and saw my shellfish allergy was not included despite my email from the week prior asking them to update that.
Got an email back that gave me a good long “are you fucking kidding me” pause.
It just said “Check your drafts I didn’t receive that email.”
So I forwarded the original and just put “:)” in the body.
I need a new new job.6
Okay. I’m upset. So the recent .NET update Microsoft put out fried SharePoint which I am currently the main point of contact for at our company. In addition, my only current projects are creating workflows.
I was publishing a workflow and got an error. I googled the error and found that it was the .NET update that caused it. Internet says to edit the web.config file for your web apps and it will be good to go. I go to our networks guy (only available supervisor) and explain what happened and ask about the recent patch and whether this could be the cause. He says that his team doesn’t actually handle the patches so I should speak with the HelpDesk lead (don’t ask).
I go to the HelpDesk lead and explain the situation, explain the solution and ask for what to do next. Keep in mind that this whole thing takes two hours because it’s Friday and everyone is out and I can’t do any of my work while I’m waiting on this. HelpDesk lead says “you have an admin account, I trust you. Go fix it” so I think uh okay.... I’m a junior and not even technically an IT person but sure. I know how to do it - but got nervous about fucking it up because our entire organization uses Sharepoint.
Nevertheless I go to my desk and look for the root directories and find that they’re on a server somewhere that I have no access to. I message the Helpdesk guy and tell him this and he says to talk to the developer supervisor. Great! He’s super nice and helpful and will totally understand! Only he’s not in. Neither is half of his team.
I go to his team and look around and find nobody but realize I may be able to catch one of the guys I know and work with in the break room. I start leaving and am stopped by a developer who is generally nice and funny. I explain the situation and he says “you... YOU need to edit a config file?” And scoffs. He demands to see what I’m talking about.
I walk him to my machine and show him what’s going on and all the research I did. I start to realize he thinks I’m overstepping and I begin to apologize and explain the details to why I was asked to do it and then I say “I really shouldn’t even be the one doing this” he says “no you should not. This isn’t getting done today. Put in a request, include your research and we will see what we can do when the supervisor gets back next week”
His tone was like I was in trouble and I know that I’m not, but it’s my goal to end up on that team and I just feel like shit about this whole situation. To top it off my boss pulled me off of two projects because of unrelated issues (and nothing to do with me) so I have basically nothing to do and I just feel very discouraged. I feel dumb and like I should have gone to the developers first. I just wanted to make it easy on everyone and do my research. I feel like I keep being put in situations above my level (I’m one of two juniors in a 16 person shop, the other one is an intern) and then “getting in trouble” for working beyond my scope.
Anyways.... fuck Microsoft6
Anyone Dell certified? Is it worth it? Can I get he cert with little hardware experience? Got offered to get the cert paid for by my employer.12
Went to a 15 minute meeting to discuss an app I’m working on. Nothing I’m the agenda seemed aimed at me and I figured I was there just to pitch in as needed.
Took 2 hours and I ended up leaving with three weeks worth of work and the single most complicated workflow I have ever heard of. I do not get paid enough for this.
Why am I incapable of studying human languages that I can use to communicate with people I genuinely want to talk to, but will use all of my spare time to learn a new computer language that I’ll never use!?1
Anybody know of any enterprise software for password storage and sharing?
We have an issue where multiple people across different teams use the same accounts and need them to be able to access certain login information but not all login information.
I’m hoping for something free/open source but at this point I’m open to anything. Must have the ability to give users privileges.7
My new employer is giving me the option to learn whatever I want. I’m doing procurement and Sharepoint and some other things, covering on the help desk, and some graphic design work. I have a bit of free time though and want to try something new!
We have the following teams: networks, development, security, and help desk. What should I ask to do next?
I’m learning SQL and have also been given the opportunity to do some of that work once I am ready.
Note: I know that it’s my preference what I do, I just don’t even know where to begin!3
Covered on the helpdesk at my new job yesterday. The only tickets that came in were for me anyways so all I learned is that the back room gets pretty cold.
Spent more than 15 hours working on a very complicated Sharepoint workflow (don’t laugh, I had like four people telling me what they needed). I pitch the workflow and they’re like yeah it’s awesome except for everything that you did!
So I had to delete two parts of it, and am now essentially rewriting it from the top. I feel like dying and coming back just to haunt these people.1
I’m a baby and for some reason thought that bootstrap would take too long to learn :/ just learned, redesigned and implemented an entire site using bootstrap in like an hour :/
Y am i like this5
My employer requires admin privileges to update cleartype settings :) I forgot my glasses at home just let me fix it :/1
Okay so I have a lot of experience in UI/UX, graphic design, and Front End dev, but I hate it. My github and resume are full of front end shit because it makes up most of my experience, and so when I apply to software dev things I often don’t get interviews because of lack of exp.
Well today I got an email from a big company that I applied to over a month ago and they told me that I was an excellent candidate and that they’d like to interview me. I say “the position is still open? I applied over a month ago!” to which they respond “well, the position you applied to has closed, but we are looking to hire a UX developer and had your application in our UX pool of applicants”
I did not fucking apply for this. They saw my application and threw it into the pool for future UX gigs and I’m mad because I’m not in a position to not interview for this job but I also really want to work in software.
Do you think, assuming I got the job, that it would hurt my prospects further to work in UX?3
What was the path like to get to your current position?
Is it your end-goal position? If not what are your plans for the future?3
Devs with young kids: how the hell do you do it?
I am a foster parent for my cousin who is 4 months old and I don’t know how in the fuck to make this work. How do you do it? How do you balance code and kid?
For reference I work full time at a tech support place, I go to school full time, and I’m trying to pivot into software development, which means any free time is spent coding/studying code/building a portfolio. Problem is I don’t have free time because of the baby. How in the hell do people do this.4
I’m so mad I’m fighting back anger tears. This is a long rant and I apologize but I’m so freaking mad.
So a few weeks ago I was asked by my lead staff person to do a data analysis project for the director of our dept. It was a pretty big project, spanning thousands of users. I was excited because I love this sort of thing and I really don’t have anything else to do. Well I don’t have access to the dataset, so I had to get it from my lead and he said he’d do it when he had a chance. Three days later he hadn’t given it to me yet. I approach him and he follows me to my desk, gives me his login and password to login to the secure freaking database, then has me clone it and put it on my computer.
So, I start working on it. It took me about six hours to clean the database, 2 to set up the parameters and plan of attack, and two or three to visualize the data. I realized about halfway through that my lead wasn’t sure about the parameters of the analysis, and I mentioned to him that the director had asked for more information than what he was having me do. He tells me he will speak with director.
So, our director is never there, so I give my lead about a week to speak with her, in the mean time I finish the project to the specifications that the director gave. I even included notes about information that I would need to make more accurate predictions, to draw conclusions, etc. It was really well documented.
Finally, exasperated, and with the project finished but just sitting on my computer for a week, I approached my director on a Saturday when I was working overtime. She confirmed that I needed to what she said in the project specs (duh), and also mentioned she needed a bigger data set than what I was working with if we had one. She told me to speak to my lead on Monday about this, but said that my work looked great.
Monday came and my lead wasn’t there so I spoke with my supervisor and she said that what I was using was the entire dataset, and that my work looked great and I could just send it off. So, at this point 2/3 of my bosses have seen the project, reviewed it, told me it was great, and confirmed that I was doing the right thing.
I sent it off to the director to disseminate to the appropriate people. Again, she looked at it and said it was great.
A week later (today) one of the people that the project was sent to approaches me and tells me that i did a great job and thank you so much for blah blah blah. She then asks me if the dataset I used included blahblah, and I said no, that I used what was given to me but that I’d be happy to go in and fix it if given the necessary data.
She tells me, “yeah the director was under the impression that these numbers were all about blahblah, so I think there was some kind of misunderstanding.” And then implied that I would not be the one fixing the mistake.
I’m being taken off of the project for two reasons: 1. it took to long to get the project out in the first place,
2. It didn’t even answer the questions that they needed answered.
I fucking told them in the notes and ALL THROUGH THE VISUALIZATIONS that I needed additional data to compare these things I’m so fucking mad. I’m so mad.15
In the spirit of week93:
If you haven’t read/heard about the attack on HB Gary Federal (a computer security company) in 2011 and you want a good read about a DDOS attack, social engineering, espionage, and the “infiltration of Anonymous” by a very punchable CEO you should check out this article:
And the follow up by Anonymous:
Brought my tablet to work so I can work on a side project during lunch. I keep catching myself daydream-debugging and side-eyeing the drawer that it’s in.
So close yet so far away...2
When do you consider yourself an expert at a language?
More details: there is a really cool Data Science internship opening up near me that I want so badly it physically hurts me, but it asks for expert level knowledge of python, Java, or R.
I’ve only been studying R and Java for like 3 months, and Python for about 8 months, so I’m obviously no expert. When exactly does someone reach that threshold, though? When did you realize you were an expert at a language?13