Ok. What. ..?

Boss put some kind of Linux professional certification book on my desk today.

I REALLY HOPE I CAN GET CERTIFIED 😍

This is dedicated to all Webdevs, especially those WordPress fanboys.

I was reflecting on some things since I do more frequent freelance jobs at the time. And I have to admit: people are fucking crazy.

I had some serious talk with customers and some serious talk for people I work as subsidiary.

The average customer thinks a nice webpage costs I'm 9-50 bucks. They got some shitty Webhosting for 1-5$/month including domain and think they are set.

They have unclear visions about what they actually want, it all boils down to "I like the design". I made a page for someone who just posted images, no text nothing and I told him a trillion times NEEDS some text, even a fucking picture description would be sufficient, else he'll never score anything at google.

Ofc it got denied, now he's bitching how nobody finds the site when they google his name. The other thing is that Wordpress became the solution for everything.

I'm a fucking certified magento developer and I hate magento with a passion. Magento is an overabstracted clusterfuck and believe me, I did the certification I had to learn more than average about the core. But damn, don't slap woocommerce on everything.

Narrowninded fucktards, the cheap out of the box solution isn't always the best.

Don't cry if you got hacked because you were too dumb to upgrade your wordpress. Don't tell me to do some "enhancements" on a server you probably share with 100 other uses. I can't fix your Webserver with your shitty ftp account.

I also hate WordPress with a burning passion. Cum guzzling cavetroll it is. It has it usages, but don't rely on a core So small every kind of extra functionality has to somehow tinkered on it and then expect it to work flawlessly and for 10$ price.

Of course you can buy a theme that, if it would have been special made for you cost 800$ or more, but it wasn't. It just looks like it from the outside. If you want customization you are at the mercy of the option it provides. I can't even tell how many times i spent whole evenings explaining how their shiny template works. Just to do some crazy shit with JavaScript like rearranging domelements because it didn't work as expected.

I still stay to my word. Nothing great has been nor will be created with a Wordpress core. Don't tell me how some great stuff has been achieved. Or wait, please do so. But before you do think about if that wouldn't been faster, cheaper, more reliable , etc... if done with a framework like symphony or laravel... or even zend or cake.

And that brings me back to the point:
Is cheap and "out of the box" really what you need and desire? As customer and as developer?

- just do your job. Close this ticket already and go to the next one

- It's just a 1 minute job.. Don't build scripts for things that simple!

- Look, we don't have time to spare for coffee breaks. Stop wasting your time on scripting!

- netikras, the IST shift fucked things up again. I need you to do your magic and clear those alerts

- netikras, there are 20 tickets waiting to be investigated. Either your coleagues spend 2 hours on them or you do your magic in 2 minutes, as always..

- netikras, please share your scripts with your team

- netikras, I have nominated you for the Star Award for your script

- netikras, here's the star award and the financial prize. Those are nice swarovskies you've picked for your wife! Good choice!

- Since our team has lots of spare time now, I urge you all to attend X, Y and Z trainings. Trainings and Certification expenses are covered

A very similar scenario has just happened in 2 last workplaces of mine. In both cases I was the one to build the script despite my management's requests to stop wasting time and resources on them.

When I see what is wrong and take some actions to right those wrongs, when superiors build roadblocks for me claiming it's not worth it and in the end I still build my solutions and become the most efficient person/team in the whole department -- that right there is what boosts my ego to the sky and above!! It proves I am actually on the right track. It proves that I in fact have a better understanding than those who should have it.

It just makes me tick!

Looking for another adventure like that :) With more power to change things this time

So I'm officially python certified :)
I passed the Python MTA Test

So apparently I got added to a Python dev group by a random person.
I thought okay cool I might learn new things and connect with some great people in the industry.
Turned out that it was just a bunch of noobs.

When I gave an honest response to a question asked by the admin (who turned out to be a noob as well), he kicked me out.
I honestly don't know if there's any official certification for Python other that the one I said.

Fuck that fucking company three way while dozens of homeless HIV crack junkies puke and shit their diarrhea on the three bosses!

I can't put it in words how stupid they are!

Let me try to tell you the latest story while I try not to get multiple strokes.

Backstory: We are three devs, all with a TCCI certification. One has been working for us for almost a year, the other one has been working for us since one and a half year. Both are good friends of mine, btw. I have been working there for almost three years.

Fortunately, I am allowed to work on a reasonable computer. The other devs work on PC's with Windows 7 and 8!

One has just 400 MB space left on his drive and has to delete every month some shit because he does not want to be able to call up websites anymore... How awful?!

The PC of the other great Dev Crashes three to six times a day and needs about 30 minutes to start up!

We can be so productive, but...

We told that in February one of our bosses and asked him to buy new hardware. His answer: yes, of course, I understand that, it's my turn (he always says that "ich bin da dran")

We got a new colleague in the middle of this fucking month. She is responsible for conception.

She works on an old notebook, but today she gets a fucking new PC to work on while the devs are trying to weld with a sparkler! Better hardware than every other Dev PC!!!

Guess what? She is the daughter of a friend of one of our bosses!

We are the only devs at this company.

Fuck that fucking company! Fuck that fucking bosses!

I think we don't go to work for that fucking company anymore!

#LongRant

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW OF ALL YOU DICKHEADS WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT 'BOUT PROGRAMING AND STILL QUALIFY FOR THE NEXT ROUND!

Background: I am a final year student of Computer Science. This time of the year, companies come to the campus to recruit potential employees for their vacant positions. But during the COVID-19 times, the number of such companies and jobs have gone a little down. Two companies came to our university for recruitment — DXC Technology and Hanu Software. I cleared the aptitude/code test for DXC and appeared for the interview, which went fairly well. Waiting on the results. The rant is about the other company.

The Story: I am learning and working on Cloud (AWS specifically) for the past 1 year. I have a cloud Certification in Oracle and working my way to get Azure Certified. Hanu Software, which is a core cloud company (works on Azure) came to our campus for the recruitment (Cloud Engineer). Their test had these sections —
1. Personality (54 Questions; 15 minutes)

2. Verbal (20 Questions; 20 minutes)

3. Reasoning (15 Questions; 15 minutes)

4. Technical (25 Questions; 25 minutes)

5. Quantitative (15 Questions; 15 minutes)

As soon as I finished my Interview with DXC, I had my Hanu test within 30 minutes. I have a Mac so the test by default started on Safari. After completing 4 sections, I receive a mail in Junk from Hanu which stated that only Chrome or Firefox can be used to give the test. AHH! And on Safari.. the platform on which the test was being conducted didn't ask me for any camera permission (the test is monitored, can't even change windows/switch tabs). I then changed the browser to Mozilla Firefox and somehow finish the test. After finishing, I call up my classmates to find out how their test go. Know what? FUCKING TWATS USED GOOGLE LENS TO FIND OUT THE ANSWERS!

Last night, the list of qualifying students arrived and obviously I didn't make it to the list, but those dumbfucks did who don't even know what Cloud technology is or how it works. Neither they could do any average level program, nor have the communication skills. HOW?! HOW THEM AND NOT ME? Life is very unfair sometimes. I couldn't sleep at night.

PS: If you made this far, thank you for reading this rant (and sorry for it being so long). Makes it better to be able to share with someone. If you could, then please guide me (online resources/recommendations) to be better at competitive programming, or help me enhance my resume/linkedin or if you could refer me for an entry level position at your organisation, I would eternally be grateful. Thank you once again. And sorry for the long rant.

Long rant ahead.. so feel free to refill your cup of coffee and have a seat 🙂

It's completely useless. At least in the school I went to, the teachers were worse than useless. It's a bit of an old story that I've told quite a few times already, but I had a dispute with said teachers at some point after which I wasn't able nor willing to fully do the classes anymore.

So, just to set the stage.. le me, die-hard Linux user, and reasonably initiated in networking and security already, to the point that I really only needed half an ear to follow along with the classes, while most of the time I was just working on my own servers to pass the time instead. I noticed that the Moodle website that the school was using to do a big chunk of the course material with, wasn't TLS-secured. So whenever the class begins and everyone logs in to the Moodle website..? Yeah.. it wouldn't be hard for anyone in that class to steal everyone else's credentials, including the teacher's (as they were using the same network).

So I brought it up a few times in the first year, teacher was like "yeah yeah we'll do it at some point". Shortly before summer break I took the security teacher aside after class and mentioned it another time - please please take the opportunity to do it during summer break.

Coming back in September.. nothing happened. Maybe I needed to bring in more evidence that this is a serious issue, so I asked the security teacher: can I make a proper PoC using my machines in my home network to steal the credentials of my own Moodle account and mail a screencast to you as a private disclosure? She said "yeah sure, that's fine".
Pro tip: make the people involved sign a written contract for this!!! It'll cover your ass when they decide to be dicks.. which spoiler alert, these teachers decided they wanted to be.

So I made the PoC, mailed it to them, yada yada yada... Soon after, next class, and I noticed that my VPN server was blocked. Now I used my personal VPN server at the time mostly to access a file server at home to securely fetch documents I needed in class, without having to carry an external hard drive with me all the time. However it was also used for gateway redirection (i.e. the main purpose of commercial VPN's, le new IP for "le onenumity"). I mean for example, if some douche in that class would've decided to ARP poison the network and steal credentials, my VPN connection would've prevented that.. it was a decent workaround. But now it's for some reason causing Moodle to throw some type of 403.

Asked the teacher for routers and switches I had a class from at the time.. why is my VPN server blocked? He replied with the statement that "yeah we blocked it because you can bypass the firewall with that and watch porn in class".
Alright, fair enough. I can indeed bypass the firewall with that. But watch porn.. in class? I mean I'm a bit of an exhibitionist too, but in a fucking class!? And why right after that PoC, while I've been using that VPN connection for over a year?

Not too long after that, I prematurely left that class out of sheer frustration (I remember browsing devRant with the intent to write about it while the teacher was watching 😂), and left while looking that teacher dead in the eyes.. and never have I been that cold to someone while calling them a fucking idiot.

Shortly after I've also received an email from them in which they stated that they wanted compensation for "the disruption of good service". They actually thought that I had hacked into their servers. Security teachers, ostensibly technical people, if I may add. Never seen anyone more incompetent than those 3 motherfuckers that plotted against me to save their own asses for making such a shitty infrastructure. Regarding that mail, I not so friendly replied to them that they could settle it in court if they wanted to.. but that I already knew who would win that case. Haven't heard of them since.

So yeah. That's why I regard those expensive shitty pieces of paper as such. The only thing they prove is that someone somewhere with some unknown degree of competence confirms that you know something. I think there's far too many unknowns in there.

Nowadays I'm putting my bets on a certification from the Linux Professional Institute - a renowned and well-regarded certification body in sysadmin. Last February at FOSDEM I did half of the LPIC-1 certification exam, next year I'll do the other half. With the amount of reputation the LPI has behind it, I believe that's a far better route to go with than some random school somewhere.

I found my people. We're going to start late night drunken security certification studying. Germany is fucking awesome. I haven't had anything to rant about since my flight here.

Also, celebration: my terrible boss declined the job offer from the company that bought us out. Life fucking rocks

At my next job interview. "So, do you have your lpic or redhat certification in vigor?"
Me. "Better. I have these, motherfucker."

(They arrive a few days ago, but I couldn't show them till now. If you're living outside US and worries about if you can get your stickers, be sure you will. They made all their way to Spain, and had no trouble to receive them. Be patient, and eventually they'll arrive safely and beautiful.)

I'm doing a CISCO network certification in school and I get the feeling, that CISCO straight up ignored the last 30 years of OS development.

Tl;dr younger people on here, especially passionate ones, don't worry about comparing yourself to people who appear to have tremendous laurels, those people are probably completely full of shit.

I say kids because you may be like me and more likely to underestimate your ability or more likely to be modest about your accomplishments, and you're too young to know you're doing that.

Either way. I've been doing a web development boot camp the last six months. It's been quite good with the teachers, and some of the classmates. Hell career services is now run by this woman who really actually seems like she knows what she's doing. It's pretty awesome.

That said, my teammates on the group projects have been a different story. I've primarily stuck with some of them out of loyalty and friendship. But one guy in particular has pissed me off to no end. He said he was a computer scientist going for masters. I thought I could learn from this guy. Now I wonder if he's a pathological liar.

Our first project he made one commit. Ripped straight from the homework. It was a simple api mash-up so alright. Fair enough. Next project was when he really started to piss me off.

He didn't do shit the first week and a half. No PM, no design, no programming. Nothing. Comes in two days before project is due, and me one other guy are fucking scrambling. Because of course no one else is there.

I live significantly further than my teammates mind you. We're busting ass. This fucking guy, this dumbass pick who is convinced he's a genius that will work in higher academia clobbers our whole fucking repo.

Why you ask? To put in an unrelated commit that replicated homework from the week before. Why you ask, again? Because this person is a borderline sociopath trying to appear busy in the commit logs.

We're onto the third project now. I spend days designing something original. Side note: I fucking hate design.

So I design my heart out come up with something awesome. This fuck ass, disappears. And another group member. This was the end of November, I hear from this prick last week about refactoring to ES6. But here's the kicker-fucker, our shit ALREADY WAS IN ES6!

I go in Saturday, slack a message I'll be late. I see this fucking "genius dedicated computer scientist" leaving the fucking university shadily checking to see who was watching. He saw me see him. Coward tried to shrug it off.

Here we are, end of semester. He gets the same certification as I do. The difference? I actually know what I'm taking about, I haven't paid in full to fail.

So never, ever fucking ever take what someone says on their resume or LinkedIn as truth. The better it sounds, the more full of shit they may very well be.

And as for our presentation on Saturday? I plan on handling that but letting him do all of the talking. Let's even see if he knows what the project is about :).

!rant

Boss set me up for a last minute certification to prepare for next years new projects. Went through a lot of material in just two days, then had to take the exam immediately after the last class ahead of everyone else. Aced it!^^

What surprised me the most though is how much I still enjoy learning new stuff (wasn't even tech), even after 8 yrs on the job..

About to do my first certification... Its an online test and I am nervous as fuck...

Wish me luck!!!

Got pretty peeved with EU and my own bank today.

My bank was loudly advertising how "progressive" they were by having an Open API!

Well, it just so happened I got an inkling to write me a small app that would make statistics of the payments going in and out of my account, without relying on anything third-party. It should be possible, right? Right?

Wrong...

The bank's "Open API" can be used to fetch the locations of all the physical locations of the bank branches and ATMs, so, completely useless for me.

The API I was after was one apparently made obligatory (don't quote me on that) by EU called the PSD2 - Payment Services Directive 2.

It defines three independent APIs - AISP, CISP and PISP, each for a different set of actions one could perform.

I was only after AISP, or the Account Information Service Provider. It provides all the account and transactions information.

There was only one issue. I needed a client SSL certificate signed by a specific local CA to prove my identity to the API.

Okay, I could get that, it would cost like.. $15 - $50, but whatever. Cheap.

First issue - These certificates for the PSD2 are only issued to legal entities.

That was my first source of hate for politicians.

Then... As a cherry on top, I found out I'd also need a certification from the local capital bank which, you guessed it, is also only given to legal entities, while also being incredibly hard to get in and of itself, and so far, only one company in my country got it.

So here I am, reading through the documentation of something, that would completely satisfy all my needs, yet that is locked behind a stupid legal wall because politicians and laws gotta keep the technology back. And I can't help but seethe in anger towards both, the EU that made this regulation, and the fact that the bank even mentions this API anywhere.

Seriously, if 99.9% of programmers would never ever get access to that API, why bother mentioning it on your public main API page?!

It... It made me sad more than anything...

SuperCell is hiring.. Here is their job description:

Description

We need a new Builder. Are you an independent and passionate maker? Do you love spending 24 hours a day turning wood and gold into walls and defensive buildings? Do you answer the call to build even if that call comes at 4:00 a.m. and you haven’t had a day off in literally five years? If the answer to these questions is “Yes! Yes! A million times yes!” then we have a hammer with your name on it!

The Role

The focus of the Builder is to, uh, build.

You will be responsible for taking instructions from the player and building whenever and wherever they see fit. They say build and you say...well, you don’t say anything, you just build.

The world of Clash of Clans can get intense. Our Builder is expected to build quickly and expertly at all times, even while under great amounts of stress and/or attacks from Barbarians, Archers, Goblins, Giants, Wall Breakers, Wizards, and P.E.K.K.A.s.

Equally as important as building is rebuilding. All of the things you build will inevitably be destroyed, if not immediately, then soon after you just finished building or rebuilding everything. You can’t let it get you down. You must maintain your resolve and rebuild. Fast!

Responsibilities

Must be willing to relocate to the World of Clash
Must build and maintain a wide-range of buildings, statues, and war machines.
Must be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Must have up-to-date Level 9 Tesla Tower maintenance certification 
Must have proficiency with building materials both common (wood, stone, etc.) and uncommon (lightning, lava, etc.)

Requirements

Must provide own leather helmet
Must possess a passion for building
Must be comfortable working hands-on with molten lava.
Must adhere to strict dress code (orange sleeveless shirt, brown canvas pants, and boots).
Must speak fluent Barbarian

How to Apply

Send us your qualifications via e-mail to bethebuilder@supercell.com or write out your qualifications and send them to us via Baby Dragon. Either format is accepted. 

This is a question in the AWS DevOps certification...

!rant - Story:

I got accepted to the university of Osnabrück!

Finally! I've had a though time.
After kindergarten kids went to primary school while I had to go to a place called "Vorschule". Kids with disabilities go there. I, for one, was not physically disabled. I was psychologically disabled.
My German was not that good. My native language is Turkish. I had to spend 1 or 2 years there, before I was able to attend the primary school like the normal kids.

In the primary school a few teachers started making racist comments. I didn't really understand them, but my father did. After 2 years of attending that school, I switched to another primary school and continued with everything there.

In the secondary school (comprehensive school) I got bullied a lot. I was getting racist comments on a daily basis. Even by some teachers. Whereas some other teachers were showing it indirectly.

In the same school a teacher made me get a bad grade in one subject on purpose. Thus I got a bad certificate. Not the certificate I deserved.

I spent a year in economics after the secondary school. I was in a vocational school. I didn't like it, because I wasn't really interested in economics.

"Why did you choose that then?" you might ask. That's a legitimate question.

I didn't get accepted in anything related to informatics.

Anyways, I got bullied there, too. Physically beaten by trouble makers in my class and mentally by a french teacher.
He told me that I will not be able to get my certification that allows me to attend a university after me telling him that I will change the school and try it again in informatics. Several times.

I was in the new vocational school after that one. It was very stressful.
I, again, got bullied there. But this time not by the kids, but by some abusive teachers and directors.

One of them was a racist moron. My ex-PE teacher. He someday told me that I won't be able to achieve anything in my life.

I was always naive and kind of let all these words destroy my future plans in my head, but I had a little bit of hope nonetheless.

Today, I got a letter in which it was written that I got accepted to the university of Osnabrück!

Omg! I'm so fucking happy! I could explode! (A lil racist pun)

That moment when the instructor is explaining array in Java, and you are the only one in the batch having 4 Years of Experience, and Certification by Oracle

Had to interview a "Tech Lead" who apparently has 9 years of experience in Enterprise Java, AWS, spring cloud, microservices and all the in-demand tech jargon you can think of. Plus has mentioned he has cleared OCJP (java certification) with 90% marks.

So I ask him how do microservices work - he says there's another team handling it.

I give a simple string manipulation problem and ask him to write code in an IDE or explain the logic with pseudocode and get this..

He says since he is a lead I cannot ask him to write code and should only ask about his experience.

I'm like - Sure Sir. While I do that, I will also put in a strong recommendation for you to be hired, give up all my salary to you, become your slave for life and order your lunch everyday with my savings.

- graduate
- get a C# certification
- finish all my current projects
- start working

!dev : put some money aside

When you send a new update for devRant unofficial UWP to certification and it get blocked because contains profanity and inappropriate content... WTF? 😂

I was in second year of University when I joined the internship, I knew the business idea sucks and he wouldn't be able to carry out the operations either. Little did I know that I will work with the dumbest team ever, literally, the dumbest.

So, the major chunk of the software was outsourced to a consultancy. I was a tech intern, and we were developing an Android App that will save your parking location, let you reserve locations and all etc.

I knew I have stepped on a wrong turf, but again, I had nothing better to do that summer. So, for a very meager stipend, I said yes to a very stupid project. Let the stupidity flow...

~ The boss, had quit his job for this dumb idea with no funding, no team, nothing.

~ He was pursuing a certification course in Android Development from somewhere, where their final project will be a calculator!

~ He had little to no tech skills, hardly knew Java but was leading an Android App Dev project in Java. He had little to no managerial, marketing or sales skills either.

~ For a brief period, I had to work along with the consultancy guys to ramp up their work. They would take backups in a USB drive every evening, and share each others code using the same. VCS died a painful death that day.

~ They hardly wrote functions, rather, wrote very long code in the main (onCreate) function. Code style died of cancer.

~ They couldn't compress an image before sending it to a server. I had to do it for them.

~ Had no concept of creating utility classes.

And best of all,
~ Wrote 20 cases (switch case) with the same code! Instead of using a loop...

I used to think I was so clever by viewing the source code of websites, and would just scroll through it for fun, but what really got me started in programming was the TI-83 calculator I got in grade 10.

You couldn't view the code of most programs on that calc without a computer connection, but I managed to get my hands on the source code of something simple and learned how to prompt for values and calculate things with them. Before I knew it, I was making little programs in BASIC that did formulas for me (Area/circumference of a circle, etc.). One of my professors caught me showing my calculator to another student in class, and assumed I was being a bad student. When I said I made a program as a shortcut for one of the formulas we were learning, she tried to call my bluff and said to write the whole program on the whiteboard for the class to see. 10 minutes of writing and more than one blank stare from my classmates later, the teacher just waved me off and continued the lesson. I was chuffed :-). I made these simple programs for all my math classes throughout high school.

Unfortunately, my first year of university I took a CS course, and my teacher was probably the worst I've ever had in my life. I decided it wasn't for me, and though I did maintain my general aptitude for tech (and was still the person who fixed everyone's printers and viruses), I took a different path, eventually getting an Arts degree in Anthropology.

Where I live, the market for this is more than stale. In fact, it's completely flat, so I thought I would take a course about programming with Arduinos for fun and see if I should return to school for a different certification. It was AWESOME! I made a wireless weather station with Xbees and sensors and built my own anemometer.

I got a job at a manufacturing company, and had the fortune to build a robot which eventually made it's way to the second season of Battlebots. The level of intelligence and enthusiasm I encountered really inspired me, and now here I am at 31, halfway through a BSc in Computer Science and working for a company that makes 3D printers.

It's been a long journey, but the adventure always starts anew tomorrow.

Just 1 step.

OMG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I just got an email from HackerRank saying they awarded me a certification...

I wonder what it is done I haven't been on there for at least a year...or two...

It turns out I am certified for basic problem solving....

Hm.... 🤔🤔🤔🤔

JavaScript Certified 😎🤓 its an MTA but still i got it on the first try even though i havent programmed in JS in a year 😅

watching the online course for CEH... dude used the Death Star as a tangible example of how exploits work.
IDK if I should love it for the nerdiness, or be slightly sad that someone needs that type of example of what a vulnerability vs an exploit is, when they're going for the Certified Ethical Hacker certification...
Might be better in an introduction to Network Security class?

Also, while discussing the security, usability, and functionality triangle, he reference the Staples "Easy Button" - does one thing, not very secure, and not very functional (in that it has more than one function)...

!rant

Just passed Magento frontend developer certification exam, I'm so excited and relieved :D

I just spent almost a semester's worth of money on a certification course. I know it'll help me make more in the long-run and get me out of the job that has started to cause me to become actually depressed, but this price-tag is depressing me. Why are certs so damn pricey???

What's with all this micro-certification nonsense that seems to plague the industry? Does anyone actually give a shit that I may have passed some vendor's five day bootcamp?

Apparently I can now have a trophy (virtual, of course) if I complete X online MS courses.

Some of these courses seem to focus on stuff that has no use in day-to-day work.

And I have to actually pay because I learned your product and then pay to maintain the cert in some cases. WTF?!

I can see why the vendors do it---I like free money too---but why have we even let this become a thing.

It's like collecting baseball cards.

I despair of what our industry has become...I really do.

Working in a non-tech company as a dev is like having a non-genuine engineer certification.

The past couple of days have been, like:

- I can’t focus on my side project
- I can’t bring myself to study for the AWS certification exam I’m taking next week
- I haven’t had the will to do a single code challenge
- It’s hard to write cover letters for jobs when no one has responded to a single job application I’ve done in the past couple of weeks
- Even doing things that traditionally give me joy ... bring me no joy.

Is this what burnout feels like?

I'm learning for a certification and found this while flipping through the glossary. Uhm... okay :D

I'm a developer with scrum master certification but the company wanted me to use their existing google spreadsheet for managing the tasks of 60 developers. I study agile for nothing. Kill me now please. I'm out.

Historically I've done Java but have recently moved to C# and got the book to do a cert.

Who thought it would be a good idea to start chapter 1 with threads, concurrency, asynchronous calls and PLINQ, then covering boolean expressions, if statements and loops in the section after??

I was taking some Ms certification courses a while back just for the pieces of paper since I didn't have a college degree. I took their entrance exam and apparently scored in te top 3% so I knew it was going to be a breeze.

I started out sitting near the front of the classroom, but I never really paid attention to the teacher, I worked through the practice book during lectures. This apparently distracted the class because they would come to me for help rather than raise their hand or ask the teacher.

Eventually he pulled me aside on a smoke break and asked what I was doing in his classroom if I already knew what I was doing. I explained the situation and he just laughed. But he did ask me to sit in the back corner quietly and allow him to teach the rest of the class. And I could do my thing until the certification exams.

I usually open this account when my brain is full of shit. So brace yourself if you wanna read next. you won't get any more happier. i definitely am not.

I AM A SHIT RIGHT NOW. So fucking done with everything. a month from now and i turn 21, and look what i have achieved: shitty brain, shitty personality, ugly looks nd no income. But well, most of the people i know are more or less similar.
But what the fuck i am. so less of confidence. can't even write here without a fake account. Coz my original account has details of a cheerful, joke posting swaggy mobile dev guy with good social skills. But am I? where is the proof? I am about to go to 4th year this august, my college (of the "great" indian edu system) wants the students to do internships and fucks. But i don't wanna do that. I had done that twice already when other students were playing and roaming and enjoying their life
So here i am , a so called "dev" not doing any shit in summer.
So what i am doing? wait we wil come to that.
So how's college going? shit. Maybe i am not fooling myself and the other people around me that i am a "so good" dev that i keep my fat ass home during summer and do poorly at college with average attendance & marks. But currently everyone is forgetting me and giving me shit for being a shitty student.

Oh. So how'z family doing? Oh its Bad(even writing that word hurts) to be honest my daddy( i love him so much) was not a good businessman. We changed business from being a small grocery shop owner to water supplier to now a restaurant. mum and dad, they are now in debts that hey can pay but they are trying their best to get a settled life and safe source of income.We are at the verge of closing. fuck. Our food is liked by everyone, but here we need a staff of 7 .Those fucking cheap village labor runs off to their homes in summer. And my dad who should be manager ,has to do tasks like cleaning utensils. Yet he does, that lovely old man.
And what does their "only 21 yr old son" does? fucking sit in their home, doing no shit but sleep during the day and watching a fucking laptop screen during the night.
Its been 2 years of mobile dev. i think i know a lot of things, But i don't feel confident about it. I thought about giving a certification paper that would give me a little boost but i don't feel confident about that too. its syllabus had a lot of things that i didn't know when i saw it first, last year. There are a lesser things now that i don't know. and maybe if i give it a week or two, i would be fully equipped to take that shit.
That's what my plan of action was, this summer. That , along with many other things: To give that paper. To learn 10-12 more frameworks/technology/languages, build 2-3 production level apps ,have a solid resume and then try for companies(but clg wants to force us in getting internships and shit).Also in terms of personal goals: get in shape wake up early, sleep early , exercise,go for runs, eat right. get and learn a fucking 2 wheeler (Yup. that's right. 21 yaer old ,who doesn't have/know how to drive a scooty. family couldn't have bought it then and now i don't want it. another pin of shame on my chest). help my small 3 ppl family in its business.

But all went to this shit that i have made.
>>"Hey X, its vacations now! let's learn this new language/framework/gaming engine that we so much dreamed during our papers" "Meh. fuck it, first let me get give that paper i have been postponing" .
>>"oh yeah you can prepare for that in a week ,let's do this" *15 days passes. no shit is done*
>>"Oh X, you gotta stop wasting time" *downloads another season of oitnb*
>>"Common man. okay stop, let's leave screen, wake up early , focus on body goals" *Wakes up tomorrow, goes to park, does running,exercise, comes home. Ow body hurting. sleeps full day. wakes in evening*
>>"Oh man, you missed the whole day's study" " yeah mann. fuck the morning routine. that makes body full of pain. Let's leave body goals, we can't focus on study coz of that. and what good would a less obese sagging guy be anyway, when you are already 5'4 . fuck exercise"
>>" hmm. okay. but no more web series or sleepless nights" *Goes on watching full series in night and sleeping full day without moving his ass by an inch, while poor family goes onto their routines*
>> "ahh this is getting insane. go meet your friends, you are too lonely. How are they anyway?" Fucking great friends they are. I used to think that i overthink about friendships & othr ppl's actions and should take things lightly. So when a small prank happened and i got out of the 'whatsapp' group, i was never invited in again and am now totally cut off! in real life we are all chill, even when we DM its all gud, but mann , did we all actually chatted in that shitty group only? coz i don't see any msgs in my DM. what the fuck is everyone upto ? I keep feeling those lazy asses are talking w/o me but keep trying to tell myself to not give a fuck coz they don't.
Great going.

- Think YOU'VE got a personality complex? I'm a software engineer who majored in marketing.
- Think YOU'VE got a phobia about failing? I wrote a book on developing for Google Glass. And tech edited another on Hailstorm.
- Think YOU'VE got self-confidence issues? I had a run of 7 straight rejections by companies in the Fortune 500.
- Think YOU'VE got reservations about flexing your certifications? I held a MCP in FrontPage.
- Think YOU'VE got paranoia about your degree? My MBA's from the University of Phoenix.
- Think YOU'RE a glutton for punishment? I - Think Android Content Providers are a good idea.
- Think YOU'VE got a confusing skill set? A hiring manager told me I was "too passionate about technology to work here at Microsoft".
- Think YOU'VE got issues with intellectual property? I was given a cease-&-desist order for the first domain I registered.
- Think YOU'VE got false bravado? I had over 400,000 followers on Google+.

While all of these are hilarious quips and great social ice breakers, they're all 100% true. Enjoy your day. ;)

So, here is the worst experience, not one.. but recent two of many of the encounters I had with my OOP teacher... (I am in Second Year of Engineering). Lets Call him T.
To give a background of T... He knows nothing but acts like he is the master... you'll get to know this...

Incident #0:
*me developing a website for a client and T just bumps in*
T: Hey, what are you upto.
M:Nothing sir, just some Web-dev stuff.
T: What languages do you use?
M: I am currently using embedded ruby.
T: No no, I meant, what languages do you use for web-dev?
*inner* M: Ok, try to act stupid... He is not worth of all the knowledge.
M: Sorry sir, I just use simple HTML-CSS.
T: Ohh, I use Wordpress... It's a great language to build websites.
*inner* M: He has no idea what WP really is, he is a fuckshit.
T: It's so simple and easy, that you code for Desktop view, press Ctrl-M and then it automatically makes it for mobile view.
*inner* M: Bursts out into laughter
M: OK sir, will look over it.

Incident #1:
*He is teaching, suddenly topic comes of Oracle Certification for Java*
T: I know many of you have idea about java, but do you have what it takes to be an OCJP..
*inner* M: LOL...
T: It is a really hard thing, and I can bet... I can bet *he did repeat that twice* that no one from you can even qualify OCJP.
*inner* M: It's time... It's time
M: Excuse me sir, first of all it's OCA... OCJP does not exist anymore... And secondly, I am an OCA...
*inner* M: Yeah... Fuck you bitch!
*assucimg inner* T:Fuck, asshole..$#@#%@!@$@%#

And whole class was like -> o.O

I am torn apart for several months now. My boss and coworkers are amazing people, projects are quite fun and interesting, workplace is close to home and they pay for my exams (step by step reaching for MCSD certification), but...
The salary if fcking low (you could probably earn same ammount while working as a waitress of normal restaurant). Not only for me of course, but still :( Now I am thinking of running to some bank and doing boring programming job coding same tasks again and again, but getting payed very well

"Our side is certified, yours is not" ... they yelled from their ivory tower.

Then why does your side send unreasonable responses after a few dozen identical requests and doesn't respond at all shortly after?
Maybe because the certification tests only cover 10-15 requests consecutively?

Certify my ass...

When the time seems flow more slowly...

I am now a certified "Microsoft Technology Associate for Database Fundamentals". 😁🎉 Had to do this certification for my "Berufsausbildung".

I've been informed that through some level of recognition and certification, today is "Password Day," seemingly in an attempt to encourage people to have strong passwords. I will do my part and say that if you're not using a password manager, you have missed out on years of your life.

I still wonder why some certifications cost 200$+ just to answer some questions to get a PDF certificate without actually being trained or receiving studying material.

So this PHD fresh graduate work in our department for a year boast about how professional a PHP developer he is. Today, he , my the other 2 co-worker and I have to submit the project, He technically "Taichi" his responsibility away and said he can't do this and that. Expect we do everything for him. What is more sad, is as a PHP as he boasted, He dont even know how to use Xampp, apcahe.

Our CMS messed up because of him, Server are F***ed , he keep sabotaging our source code that works, and made one of my coworker cried due the stress he given. He keep telling us that how professional he is, how suck we are. Ironically, he as a professional , he can't even do the basics like even know echo" something "; can also printf("something"); in PHP. He said he studied in US and from Jordan. I know that people like me only have Olevel in Malaysia. So dont show off to me a foreign certification that can't even help you to complete the job.

I hope this project can be complete without this guy. All show and no go. Where's the team work tho?

We're sorry, but you're not certified to use THAT API Call. Certification takes 6 - 10 weeks.

Getting cooped at home to a avoid COVID is annoying because it got me remembering my ex. I hate myself for shutting down a few days thinking of him. If only there is an "Empty trash" button for emotions. Finally I get better today. I resume studying for work and target to pass the certification. Strive to be better!

Fucking regulations, can’t play with twilio api.
Waiting for verification of my identity to make a fucking test call to myself.

Wanted to make a proof of concept during weekend, but won’t happen cause some fucking policies.

Fuck you government pigs.
Probably need to wait to fucking Monday. I will forget what I wanted to do till that time.

We are making your life easier all the time in the news, yeah right eat those popups motherfuckers.

Next regulation - government code reviews before push to master and programmer certification, for sure those fuckers are able to do it.

Really considering emigration from Europe right now.
No fucking point to start a business on this continent.
More fucking law please so we would need a lawyer before wiping ass.
Need to watch that southpark episode about security toilet checkout once again.

Ranting kinda

I'm studying for a CEH certification so I can enter a computer security competition that my school is holding, and I have to cram the whole subject in my head.

Before anyone asks why, I have a great interest in the subject and its fun to learn the problem is the amount I have to learn in such little time

My teacher also wanted me to enter so I could go up against the guy who almost placed in nationals last year, and he thinks I can do it, many people do. looking at it realistically if I crammed it all and reviewed I could place in regionals which is the goal.

Wish me luck if you read all of that!..

TLDR: I need advice on reasonable salary expectations for sysadmin work in the rural United States.

I need some community advice. I’m the sysadmin at a small (35 employee) credit card processing company. I began as an intern and have now become their full time sysadmin/networking specialist. Since I was hired in January I have:

-migrated their 2007 Exchange server to Office 365

-Upgraded their ailing Windows server 2003 based architecture to 2012R2

-Licensed their unlicensed VMware ESXi servers (which they had already paid for license keys for!!!) and then upgraded them to 6.5 while preventing downtime on hosted VMs using tricky transfers and deployments (without vMotion!)

-Deployed a vCenter server to manage said ESXi servers easier

-Fixed a three month gap in their backups by implementing Veeam, and verifying its functionality

-Migrated a ‘no downtime’ fileserver to a new hypervisor host, implemented a ‘hot standby’ server as a backup kept up to date by the minute with DFS replication.

-Replaced failing hard drives in a RAID array underlying their one ‘business critical’ fileserver, which had no backups for 3 months at that time

-Reorganized Active Directory and Group Policy deployment from a nightmare spiderweb of OUs and duplicate policies

-Documented the entire old network and now the new one as I’ve been upgrading this

-Audited the developers AWS instances and removed redundant machines, optimized load balancing on front end Nginx servers, joined developer run Fedora workstations to the AD domain and implemented centralized syslog monitoring on them.

-Performed network scans and rewrote firewall exceptions to tighten security

There’s more, but you get the idea. I’ve now been tasked with taking point on an upcoming PCI audit which will be my first.

I’m being paid $16/hr US, with marginal health benefits. This is roughly $32,000 a year, before taxes.

I have two years previous work experience managing a third party Apple repair facility (SimplyMac) and every Apple certification for warranty repair and software troubleshooting. I have a two year degree in general sciences, with about 4 years of college credit (Two years of a physics education and two years of computer science after I switched focus) I’m actively pursuing a CCNA and MCSA server 2016 with exams paid for and scheduled.

I’m going into a salary negotiation in two months. What is a reasonable salary to request, from your perspective, for someone in my position?

Thanks in advance!

Graphic & Web Designer
(job offer)

- graphical proposals for:
-web pages,
- banners,
- presentation materials,
- gaming graphic,
- application (iOS, Android) graphic...
Bla bla bla...

Min. 2 years profesional experience...
Valid certification and lvl of proficiency in (Adobe Photoshop, I lnDesign, Illustrator)...

Fast delivery....

Salary 3,50€ brutto / hr 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣....

Jobs in Slovakia 🤣

Certified Professional Scrum Master - I 😊

I took a certification test today that has an accumulative checkpoint score every 15 questions. I needed a 74 to pass the test... Here is a rough timeline of checkpoint scores and my thoughts:

64 - rough start I can recover
71 - OK, still failing but at least the score went up
63 - what the hell??
67 - OMG I am failing this test.
71 - You know, I don't need this job. I can find plenty of other work.
71 - This fucking test is brutal and I hate everyone. OMFG I only have an hour left!

Queue total internal meltdown. My job really depends on this certification.

73 - screw it. I failed. I am guessing from here on out.
77 - Holy shit I have a chance!! Only 25 questions to go. DONT SCREW THIS UP!
77 - YESSSSS My score didn't go down. 10 questions to go.
76 - Holy shit. After 6 month of studying, I passed the most brutal test of my life. ..... Barely.

The number of services you need to grok for full AWS certification...

Self taught JavaScript developer here

Is there any exams or online courses or certification I can take to make my resume more fancier ~

Got 59% on my certification today. I needed 60%.... :(

Tldr: I failed a test and was sad about jt

So a while ago I had a python exam for my study, nothing special like a certification or anything, just the basics. We are not allowed to use internet because they want to prevent people from communicating from one another. Usually im fine with this rule, but this time it screwed me over so much.

The exam is setup in 3 main assignments each of which has 5 subassignments. Hence, if you cant do subassignment 1, you fail the entire main assignment and lose 33% of your grade. I completely blacked out during the exam and couldnt remember how to simply get a number from a string interpreted as an int and forgot how to work with json. Because we weren't allowed to use internet I wasn't able to figure this out and have now failed the test.

I'm so sad and mad at myself for not acing such an easy test and for a day I felt unworthy of being a programmer. Thank God I got over that and have a resit somewhere next week.

Get a job as a junior developer, after you get a certification you'll be a regular, yay, we'll pay for certification, yay X 2.
After half a year still no access to certification site, nay X 2.

When you wake up and realise you have your Zend certification exam today

What certifications do you guys have, and which do you recommend having?

I'm currently pursuing AWS Developer Assosiate, and in the future Google certified Android developer and MongoDB developer.

Been thinking about Docker but it costs too much

What about using https for an URL on a security certification...?

1- hope that Madagascar will be listed in Google Play when I try to register as a developer... 😭
2- upload many applications on Play Store 😍
3- working as an android developer with an average salary of $50,000 per year, not my actual shitty salary of $4,500 per year... 😒
4- Earn the Associate Android Developer Certification 😎 🙌

Got my “Certificate” for SQL. What do you think? I have a few other just not sure if this means jack squat despite it being a free “certification”.

My boss don't give me any information about the project in 2 months ... Then the application need to run in 1 week ... Im the only developers in this faculty .. suprise ! I said to him the project cannot be delivered in such small time ...

Boss : but you having so mutch time to do it !

me: but you tell me to fix some PC screen and printer and is not my job to do that im a programmer.

Boss: but you have certification in programmation and tech support

Me: yes but you hire me to code your project not to fix your forest !

Boss: if you don't want to work just say it

Me: never mind ...

Results: i change faculty in the university

Visited three book stores today.
Most books about software development on shelves were about :
android / css / c# / html / javascript / python - in alphabetic order.

Many motivational books ( almost half ) about how to become software developer just because “it’s a dream job” without any interesting content.

Less books about c/c++, networking.

Microsoft is still present with certification and windows and I didn’t saw any linux book.

So that’s the future - full of microsoft and android, javascript, html and script kiddies.

So pretty much the same as it is now.

Going to be taking my first certification test soon! It's the HTML5 Web Application development fundamentals MTA if you were wondering and im getting it for free so I've started refreshing and studying! Next I'm going for the Software development fundamentals C# and VB!

Right now I enjoyed being SysAdmin and PenTester more than programmng...but I doubt I can get a job without certification from either of those field.

rant or !rant
Hey ranters have you checked podcast of devRant on Youtube. It's great.
All dev of this great community please subscribe to devRantApp on YouTube and increase it's views. While I'm ranting about it has only 1.2k views and 51 likes. Please check that out.

@dfox and @trogus Just listened to a podcast of devRant featuring Andy Hunt "Author of the Pragmatic Programmer".
My favorite line he said is " In effort to evaluate betn mediocre programmer from great programmer certification available is pathetic, this is why Alien don't come to visit us anymore".
He also talks about RubberDuck and many more.

So yeah, we took a Cisco Certification exam 2 years ago in high school. If I didn't procrastinate to study, I might pass the certification. The requirement was 60%. I got 55.6% in that exam.

Someone give me courage to change my job :( I'm bored-out at work and am not motivated to write some applications, as I'm thinking I'm going to get paid less or not given a job I want (I have a basic certification, no degree in CS)

Argh

I was told during my midyear that I need to start working on my "AWS certification." Hmmmm. OK. Since there isn't one for a DBA, I guess I'm going to become an SA.

About to the Java SE 7 Cert Test next week. Devrant lords please pray for me. @Alice, @dfox

I'm attending a design course, and in the last few weeks they're teaching us a bit of web programming. The teacher of this part of the course is totally not competent, even though he has every possible Microsoft certification, it's clear that he has not idea what he's doing: he just reads some tutorial on languages and repeats us what he reads. Even when people ask him something about the code he writes, he just repeats what tutorials say...

E.g. he taught Angular 2 without saying anything about how typescript works; the last week i stayed home for a few days and took my time to read all the Angular tutorial and some general typescript, and everything is much clearer.

Also (and this is my favourite part), here's what he said us to do to run Angular projects: he made us open Visual Studio (VISUAL STUDIO!!! With his 60 fuckingGB) and press "Run" on the top of the page... For whose don't see any problem here, the "Run" button runs everytime the command "ng serve" that runs the "webserver" that runs the Angular app, so the opening of any project took about 1 whole minute for each little modification we did...
I had to explain that we could run the command on a terminal and use any editor as VS Code. He didn't even think about that, he said that it was a very good idea (You don't say!).

Fortunately, this is not a Web Development course, and we did only a few weeks with him; the other teachers are very competent in their job...

!rant
TL;DR: New(-ish) dev looking for advice to improve workflow and new languages. Hopefully worth a read though :)

Newbie developer here, I took a web applications development class this year since I could take that at another campus rather than do general education courses at my home school, and I have learned and earned a CIW Certification for HTML5, CSS3, and JavaScript, though I know the certificates do squat if I can't apply myself to them, and I have learned PHP and MySQL.

I want to learn more, technically-applicable languages.

My setup is barebones (to a Linux diehard's eyes), with a gaming laptop that I do a lot of workstation stuff on, an RPi 3 B that I do some Linux-y stuff on, and a less-powerful Development Laptop (that I call a devtop) that I occasionally do work away from home on.

I'm sure most will cringe and weep at my workflow, as I use Windows 10 on both systems and the standard NOOBS software on the pi, and I use Brackets as my text editor, as well as the XAMPP AMP stack for testing.

My biggest questions are what could I do to improve my workflow, and what languages should I learn/apply myself to for real-world application (such as Node.js for live-updating server-side applications or C# for Windows applications)?

Thank you for taking the time to read this, any feedback is helpful! I'm just a high school student with a lot of enthusiasm for development!

Quick Java question.

Does spending £200 on Oracle certification raise your job market value?
Or is it just a pointless money maker for Oracle.

When I'm not busy at work I've been spending my time studying on w3schools to get certified in HTML, CSS and JS development. Are these certs really worth It? Will they help me in the future enough to pay $95 for each one?

I have last few months left out of graduation and i don't know what should i learn. There's so much things (web dev , ai/ml, blockchain, android , cloud, ,hybrid apps, gaming, ar/vr, data analysis, security,etc) and as a cs student, i feel i should be knowing them all.

In last 6 years ,

Techs that i liked or got success in :
java, Android,python, data analysis, hybrid apps(flutter)

Techs that i didn't liked or failed in : ai/ml, cloud computing , webdev(css/js) ,hybrid apps(react/angular/ionic/...)

Techs that i didn't tried : security, cryptography, blockchain, open cv , ar/vr, gaming

I am not bound by my likeness or success.

My failures was mainly because i didn't liked those techs and continued further in them. And my success comprises of just launching a few apps, passing in some certification or grabbing an internship opp because of those skills.

But if you think a particular skill is necessary to have as a cs professional then let me know. I just want to earn a lot of money and get out of this mess asap

Taking the AWS certification is on my to-do list this year. I still have a few niggling doubts about the cert tho'.

Has the certification created career options for anyone reading this?

Finally arrived

! rant / question

Are certifications worth it¿
( like Java Certifications and stuff similar to that)

A bit long, sorry.

I "inherited" an A+ certification book from my older brother over 10 years ago after he saw me meddling with some old computers that still used SIMM's. I still lived in my native country at the time and got my A+ certification through my high school when I moved to the US. I knew before I got the book that my career would revolve around IT.

I learned HTML and CSS right after I finished high school and started working with JS and PHP because of WordPress a year later. To this day I still help family and friends with IT related stuff, but after digging into web development I made it my main focus. I am now working on my CS degree after failing at college years ago because of laziness and procrastination. I also work at an amazing startup as a software engineer for the web. That's it in a nutshell, questions are welcome.

Can I get a stress ball? 😅

Today is a great day. I was asked to rewrite my code to an API I suggested from the beginning of the development of the app but they didn't allow it to me cause it was a payed service. They preferred the free one instead that is not the best but is not half bad. I'm counting on finishing my internship next month cause I need a dev job to get out of my shitty, underpaid job as a steward and rewriting the code will take the very least 3 extra months. I just want to finish my internship so I can build my portfolio website, start the Udacity course for full stack developer certification and get a goddamn dev job.

I had a logistical problem at my cnc job. Went to java. Then python. Then webdev with freecidecamp. Soon I'll have my certification as a front end and a I'll go on with back end. During this I make python script to make my wifes business easier to maintain and I want to start developing android apps soon. I'm 30 btw. I hope it's not too late... :)

Manager wants to sign me up for sponsored Apigee training and certification and i wasn't sure if it's good or bad (even now)

Me: ohh, nice
Manager: let me know asap. I'll get back to you.

*Manager comes back after 2 mins*

Manager: have you decided?
Me: uhm, yeah i haven't finished looking. I'll get back to you in 30mins

*Manager comes back after an hour*

Me: does this have a bond?
Manager: no
Me: okay, I'll get back to you tom

Poll question: is it a go or no go?

Are Certification/Nano degree programs on Udacity really worthy?

WTF with Linux foundation?! I mean seriously, are their certificates (LFCE -LFCSA) valid for 24 months and do they need renewal?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Does anyone of you know what is this shit or correct me if I'm​ wrong.

Has anyone here gone for the CSSLP certification?

What are your thoughts on it?

Does Professional Scrum Master certification add any value to a devs profile? I am asking because I failed in the first attempt. 😟

Studying for a MTA Certification(HTML5 Web Application Development Fundamentals) that I'm going to take in a few weeks! If anyone has any advice for the test and studying let me know, and if you have the certification, what should I be focusing my studies on?

I wanted to attend the Microsoft Azure Virtual Training Day just to get the FREE Certification exam voucher but all the sessions until August end are full 😭😭!

PS: I am now an Oracle Cloud Certified Associate (with a score of 98%). Cheers!

Money burned! Just bought a voucher for the Java certification exam

- like this will help solve all my problems :/

.NET update fried our environment :) guess my weekend isn’t going to be very relaxing

Being a university student who is about to complete his first year, is being a google certified mobile web specialist worth it?? ( More about my background : I have been into front end developement for around 4 months and this has been my first exposure to " production level coding ". I have been improving my JS skills and am currently learning Vue. I have a fair understanding of backend and am trying to build a full stack app using express, Vue and sockets . I have an interest in algorithms , dsa and machine learning although I an not able to devote my full time on it but hopefully would be able to do it in 2 to 3 months. I also have an interest in Linux and all. ). Please suggest something . Thanks in advance.
PS : I know my interests are very random , but I am just exploring my options and being a freshman , I am confused A lot . So trying to figure out something that will help me in future too

So.. my MacBook Pro 61 Watt C-Type Adapter sparked and stopped working... and my mac is left with just 6% charge. I have a placement exam on the 7th and a certification exam on the 8th. And also, there's no WiFi provider (or I must say a good one) in my area. The one that provides the service is a known fraudulent company.

Don't know if I should be really sad about the problems or be a bit happy because now I don't have to stare at my screen for hours.. life really sucks sometimes.

In college, during Novell's heyday, I was working on my Certified Network Administrator certification (totally worthless, in retrospect). As I was becoming an expert in all things Novell, I found a security flaw. Using Visual Basic it was possible to code up an exact replica of the Novell login screen that launched at boot time from a batch file stored on a floppy. You could log peoples' usernames and passwords all day as long as they didn't realize your floppy was in the drive, which worked in certain computer lab setups on campus. I wasn't in it for stealing info or being a criminal. I just did it for the lulz. But if I had gained access to a few of the right computers in admin offices on campus, I could've gotten access to anyone's student profiles and grades.

Hey,
I studied law first and got a retraining about Java from my company for 6 months (just very basic concepts about servers, databse,.. besides java). I really enjoy programming now and that is what I want to do. Do you guys think I need to study computer science to become a good programmer or to change my employer (payment here is really moderate ~ 30k € max ,after taxes, but safe work and good payment after retirement) ? Is there any international certification that should be enough ? Just dont know if it could be a waste of time, becouse I am at a spot to just get practical experience.
Any opinions of you pros ?

Big thanks in advance :)

Someone have laravel certification to say to me how is the exam?

Microsoft certifications... worth it or not?
MCSA (web applications, universal windows platform, MCSD (app builder), etc...
Currently I am stressing myself out for these certifications and all people around me either say it is worthless or it is VERY valuable. I hate exams, it makes feel sick, is there other ways to prove that I am a good dev? (I know I know... create your own apps, participate in interesting projects, but I do not always have time and enthusiasm for that. I want to have my evenings and weekends free from programming)

App of a little social network I'm member of didn't connect to the server anymore, since the social network changed their SSL-certification and my smartphone is too dumb to accept the new one.

So, I pulled the source code of the app from GitHub and added some code dealing with SSL-connection-exception-handling.
A warning appears, that there were some errors with the SSL-cert with the question how to proceed and three options:
Quit, Ignore for now, Ignore and don't ask me again.
The code to ignore ssl-errors is just for debug-/develop-purposes, but hey, app with that little "hack" is running only on my phone x)
Now, the app is working again at my smartphone \o/

Is Microsoft technology associate certification in java and android has any value in cv/resume?

Anyone Dell certified? Is it worth it? Can I get he cert with little hardware experience? Got offered to get the cert paid for by my employer.

What certifications are actually worth doing? #webdev

(I tried googling and got buried in ads)

Why isn't Gooogle buying Atlassian to stock up G Suite with Wiki and Slack, then piss off Microsoft and win the Market over with better products?

Im reading everywhere now that MS Teams has the hugest Userbase and so much features to come bla bla bla

Fuck MS Teams, it's shit, looks like it and it's software so I can't smell it. Thank god for that, else it would smell like the afterback of a diaarhetic horse.

Every fucking Tecnician at my company is arguing, that MS Teams is better, because more users are active. WTF Poopface, they have more user, because it comes included with O365???

Our people are so stupid, I bet they won the IT Certification in a Lottery or flew to Turkey to buy it at a Bazaar.

And who the fuck are the Product Managers at Google, gonna hit them a couple of times with a broom to wake up. You fucktards are missing a huge market.

dear amazon,
would you please be so kind and explain me, a native german speaker, how to give more german responds within my german skill to match the german language?
also are you fucking kidding me presenting new unheard silly issues every new submission and needing four days to answer? you don't want to be alexa sounding and acting natural, do you?
your fucking silly certification process takes the whole fun out of free-of-charge-enhancing the use of your own product.
yours cincerely

for real, coding skills is fun, but never ever promise a client any deadline. amazon will definitively screw you. dumbasses.
FUUUUUCKSHITDAMNARSEHOLESSILLYBITCHES

latest alexa certification experience
them: you must not name your skill like this, this and that.
me: ok. please certify my skill named a not listed option.
them: YoU mUsT nOt NaMe It ThIs EiThEr.

for real, if i would have to do alexa skills for a living i'd long have gone mad (well, madder)

sincerely fu

And also that time when you pass the certification test and think: uh, let's go to the next... 😓

Is BSc degree enough to to get a decent job in tech with enough opportunity to grow?

I am talking about software engineering and business & it.

What about going for certification instead of doing masters?

!Rant

I need some help, does someone know what is a good way to get a legit linux sysadmin certification? I've been using linux for a couple years now and i'd like to have it on my (baren) resumee :D
I freakin love this community btw, its hilarious

I have a doubt regarding blockchain. I understand how it works, but couldnot make use of it.

I am currently working on a platform which let client to assign task to their employee

Now I am planning to make use of blockchain on existing platform, to somehow set up a mechanism to authenticate that employee had completed the task, as a certification to the employee. I just cannot figure out how

I thought of an implementation, ( if its possible ) where client will trigger the smart contract with some employee-specific data, and the smart contract will generate a custom token, which will then be sent to the employee's account. This token will be non transferable

Completed a certification just for the swag.
Trying to write a joke, just for the swag. :P

So as a personal project for work I decided to start data logging facility variables, it's something that we might need to pickup at some point in the future so decided to take the initiative since I'm the new guy.
I setup some basic current loop sensors are things like gas line pressures for bulk nitrogen and compressed air but decided to go with a more advanced system for logging the temperature and humidity in the labs. These sensors come with 'software' it's a web site you host internally. Cool so I just need to build a simple web server to run these PoE sensors. No big deal right, it's just an IIS service. Months after ordering Server 2019 though SSC I get 4 activation codes 2 MAK and 2 KMS. I won the lottery now i just have to download the server 2019 retail ISO and... Won't take the keys. Back to purchasing, "oh I can download that for you, what key is yours". Um... I dunno you sent me 4 Can I just get the link, "well you have to have a login". Ok what building are you in I'll drive over with a USB key (hoping there on the same campus), "the download keeps stopping, I'll contact the IT service in your building". a week later I get an install ISO and still no one knows that key is mine. Local IT service suggests it's probably a MAK key since I originally got a quote for a retail copy and we don't run a KMS server on the network I'm using for testing. We'll doesn't windows reject all 4 keys then proceed to register with a non-existent KMS server on the network I'm using for testing. Great so now this server that is supposed to connected to a private network for the sensors and use the second NIC for an internet connection has to be connected to the old network that I'm using for testing because that's where the KMS server seems to be. Ok no big deal the old network has internet except the powers that be want to migrate everything to the new more secure network but I still need to be connected to the KMS server because they sent me the wrong key. So I'm up to three network cards and some of my basic sensors are running on yet another network and I want to migrate the management software to this hardware to have all my data logging in one system. I had to label the Ethernet ports so I could hand over the hardware for certification and security scans.

So at this point I have my system running with a couple sensors setup with static IP's because I haven't had time to setup the DNS for the private network the sensors run on. Local IT goes to install McAfee and can't because it isn't compatible with anything after 1809 or later, I get a message back that " we only support up to 1709" I point out that it's server 2019, "Oh yeah, let me ask about that" a bunch of back and forth ensues and finally Local IT get's a version of McAfee that will install, runs security scan again i get a message back. " There are two high risk issues on your server", my blood pressure is getting high as well. The risks there looking at McAfee versions are out of date and windows Defender is disabled (because of McAfee).

There's a low risk issue as well, something relating to the DNS service I didn't fully setup. I tell local IT just disable it for now, then think we'll heck I'll remote in and do it. Nope can't remote into my server, oh they renamed it well that's lot going to stay that way but whatever oh here's the IP they assigned it, nope cant remote in no privileges. Ok so I run up three flights of stairs to local IT before they leave for the day log into my server yup RDP is enabled, odd but whatever let's delete the DNS role for now, nope you don't have admin privileges. Now I'm really getting displeased, I can;t have admin privileges on the network you want me to use to support the service on a system you can't support and I'm supposed to believe you can migrate the life safety systems you want us to move. I'm using my system to prove that the 2FA system works, at this rate I'm going to have 2FA access to a completely worthless broken system in a few years. good thing I rebuilt the whole server in a VM I'm planning to deploy before I get the official one back. I'm skipping a lot of the ridiculous back and forth conversations because the more I think about it the more irritated I get.

Hey guys, anyone has experience with the OCAJP certification...?
Was it worth it?

Does anyone written Associate Android Developer exam?
Or anyone aware about that, is it worthy for Android Development career??

anyone done the tensorflow developer certification exam?

Reading Geekonomics (silly title for the book) and seriously considering that maybe we should all be licensed/certified since so much software is broken, looking at you Equifax.

Do you guys have or recommend any dev certs? I want to know your experience good / bad. Im looking at getting some under my belt

Pre-certification for zigbee? They did not cover that at uni ><

Has anyone got Google certification for web developer? I actually cant find a place to start. Currently googling.

Should I get the oracle certified associate certification? I just took a Java class in college that apparently prepares me for it. But it's $245...

I thought of learning about cloud computing. Went looking for AWS courses on Udemy.
It's so confusing which certification I should prepare for for AWS.
Which one should I go for to begin with? Suggestions are appriciated. Thanks.

!rant

Tomorrow I'll be doing my last CS exam (Data Warehousing, somebody shoot me). I'm pumped to dive in on that Android certification course I was awarded by udacity.
However I'll probably need to move to the capital or a bigger city to get a proper career on what I like. Small towns suck. Anyone else had this experience?

Should I study or not.

I'm in a rut, yet again. I have an opportunity to start a java certification. The course is going to cost me quite a bit, and i will have to loan from the bank. At the moment I'm struggling financially, but my dreams are set on programming.

Should I take it, or do I negate the risk and do what I'm comfortable with.

Any recommended certifications for a front end developer?

Networking guys:

Any advice for the CCNA exam? I've been through the cisco online courses and use them for reference. I know Todd Lammle's guides are pretty good too. Any extra texts/resources I should take a look at?

I feel my weak points are:
IPv6, NAT, ACL's, and Class A/B subnetting.

How long does it take to get your CCIE?

Why does a CKAD certification cost $300? And this is the fee to just give the exams.

Do you guys know any good certification to ensure my (hypothetically) eligibility as a developer?

I dunno why but I'm sold by AWS and how anyone may start off on the right note when starting a "startup" project. A lot of IT folks I know have vouched for it as well. Maybe because I'm engineering graduate and I have put the costs and maintainability on top of the checklist. I even plan to take the SAA certification since it was also surveyed as one of top paying IT certs to get. But mostly I care about the stuff I can learn and rely on its ecosystem. Tell me something I should be wary about this cloud provider. Coz maybe I'm just too "sold" by the hype.

Best resources for CompTIA Security+ certification?

Gotta be honest, I'm getting real sick of seeing "View my verified achievement" posts on LinkedIn. I have gotten a few certifications, but I have never posted them on LinkedIn because its irrelevant for 98% of my peers. How about simply telling your relevant peers of your so called achievement. Your manager would probably interested in knowing, but most of your 500 followers sure ain't. You can still put your certification on your LinkedIn profile for the recruiters to glob over while doing the rest a favor.

What you guys think about Laravel Certification?

any tips for ccna certification exam?

Done 5 courses certification but don't how to write code certificate digger

Is anybody here (ISC)² certified? Do you find the certifications valuable in your career? Is it a certification you found you could self-study for?

!Rant
Got a test for my official certification as trainer for apprentices. Nervuosity starts to kik in and I will sure as hell not sleep well tonight 😥

My older brother and my current "boss". My brother introduced me to the CompTIA A+ Certification years ago, and my current supervisor has trusted me with projects that I never thought I'd be working on.

Is MOS Certification relevant for a developer?

Eli5 what each AWS certification means?

another week, same fuss. i just freaking can't wrap my head around the fact that it is basically not allowed to use natural language invocating a skill and use natural conversation flows.

Advice for studying and for taking the A+ certification test for the first time????

Should I take the Oracle Certified Associate exam on Java 8? I just finished an intro course in college that apparently covers all the topics. It's $245 though.

I just saw a question about a certification. If it's worth or pointless, and I am on the same situation.
I have the opportunity to get a Microsoft Office Specialist Certification. Of course, not free, it's about 90dlls.
So what did you think guys? Worth it?

Python certification.

Open EDG or Microsoft?